Credence Voltaire, 18
District Three.
Credence Voltaire hardly ever dreamed.
And yet, he now found himself doing just that. The glittering, golden ballroom was nothing like Credence had ever seen, the grandeur of it all shocking them. They'd hovered in the corner, catching flashes of Jaimari Torus between the crowds of people as they downed one glass of champagne after another.
Credence would kiss him, under the glittering golden lights of the ballroom as the clock struck twelve- that was what most people did on New Year's after all, kissed somebody they loved. They didn't know if it was the champagne, the prospect of a new year ahead of them, or a hundred other things, but he would.
They ducked into the bathroom for a moment- just a moment, pushing their hair out of their face- heart pounding, but Credence didn't mind. He was set on his goal, and he would achieve it.
Credence Voltaire had waited long enough. They'd spent years subsisting on stolen glances in the cafeteria, on hands brushing in the lab. Credence had told himself it had meant nothing, that their moments together were too few, but had it? Had it been meaningless, all that time?
They had to know, and this would be Credence's final chance to find out.
As soon as they were ready, they returned to the ballroom, fighting through the crowds of people as best they could. They were quickly running out of time, and Credence knew they couldn't let this chance slip away- not now, not when they'd loved him for so long.
They hadn't realized the chance had already vanished from their grasp, like sand running out from between their fingers; as the clock struck twelve, Credence found who he was looking for.
Jaimari Torus, kissing another girl entirely beneath the sparkling chandelier.
It never hurt less no matter how many times they saw it.
"Credence? My boy?" A familiar, firm voice snapped Credence from his sleep, a gentle hand shaking their shoulder. Their head shot up immediately from where it rested on their arms as he turned to meet the face of Doctor Hendler.
"Doc?" Credence muttered, pushing their stringy hair out of their face. "I'm terribly sorry, I must've fallen asleep. I apologize."
"No need to apologize," Hendler said, smiling warmly. Credence sat up further, grabbing an open energy drink from the clutter of the desk and knocking back the last remnants of it- it was warm and flat but they didn't particularly care.
"What's going on? Do you need me for something?" Credence asked, turning to look at the doctor again.
"Jaimari is going to be here soon," Hendler responded, the older man moving around the table, tidying as he went. "I know things have been… strange between you two lately."
"Strange? What exactly do you mean by that, sir, if you don't mind me inquiring?"
Hendler shook his head, placing all of the tools Credence had left scattered around the lab back into their places. "That is up to you two to figure out, but don't think I haven't noticed."
"I'm sorry if we've impacted your work, sir. It won't happen again, I promise." Credence scrambled to their feet to help the man tidy. He nearly tripped over their crutch as he made his way around the workstation, following Hendler to the best of his ability- the man was shockingly fast considering his age.
"That's not what I meant, Credence," Hendler shook his head. "You need to talk to him."
"Talk…?" Credence trailed off. "Talk to him?"
"Yes, my boy. You need to work it out together. It's none of my business, after all," Hendler chuckled, winking at them. Credence paused, gawking at the doctor. He continued tidying up as Credence desperately scrambled to organize his thoughts but he hardly got a chance before-
Hendler held up an empty bottle of morphling.
"You know, young Credence, you should dispose of these better," Hendler said, and Credence froze, dread sinking into every inch of their body.
"My apologies sir," Credence gulped, nervously. "Those testosterone bottles can be easy to lose, but I'll make sure to be more thorough next time."
"Of course, you will be," Hendler responded, his voice warm- and that only made Credence feel worse about lying to him. He'd been telling Hendler the money he took every month was for his testosterone- and it was, but that wasn't the whole truth. They'd been taking more and more to pay for the morphling they so craved, so relied on, and Hendler was none the wiser. He'd put his trust into Credence, and every day they betrayed it without him knowing. Even if Credence had cut back significantly after destroying his creations, he couldn't help but feel so guilty for using up so much of his adoptive father's money on something as trivial as a drug addiction.
If only Hendler knew the truth- he'd never look at Credence the same way again. After everything the man had done for him, Credence had done nothing but fail him. They were nothing but an addict who'd lied to the Doctor, and stolen from him. Credence was a disgusting monster worth none of the kindness he'd been shown.
And it was all Credence Voltaire could ever be.
"Now," Hendler spoke again, discarding the bottle in the appropriate bin. "I know you're hesitant to tell Jaimari about… well, your condition."
"What, the fact that I'm dying, Doc?" Credence laughed, his words bitter as poison.
"It's not like you can hold out forever, my boy," Hendler sighed, his voice as defeated as Credence had ever heard it. "I just don't want to see your relationship suffer-"
Hendler was cut off suddenly as the door to the lab slammed open. Both men turned to look at the figure of Jaimari Torus, now standing at the door.
"Hey Doc, didn't expect to see you down here- oh, Volts, I brought you a coffee," Jaimari exclaimed, grinning handsomely as he wandered into the lab. He approached Credence, shoving a warm cup of coffee into their hands.
"Thank you, Jai," Credence mumbled, casting their eyes to the floor as they sipped the hot drink- it hardly warmed them at all though.
"I'll leave you boys to it then," Hendler said, departing the room- and Credence could've sworn he saw the man wink in his direction. Credence sighed, his breath rattling as he quickly found a place to sit down.
"So," Jai sighed, rolling up his sleeves as he leaned over one of the tables. "Have you been avoiding me, or am I making that up, Volts?"
"I'm not, Jaimari, I've just been busy with work," Credence responded, pushing down a cough as they faced the other boy. "And you've been busy yourself with Medulla, haven't you?"
Jai made a face at the mention of Medulla, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers. "You know I can't help that- my parents would kill me if they found out about us."
"I understand that," Credence responded. "But I…"
"What?"
"I just don't know how long this can go on for," Credence admitted, their voice smaller than ever. All they wanted was Jaimari Torus, and now they had him- except not all of him. Credence wouldn't ever, couldn't ever, have all of him. Sure, they could catch fleeting moments, a stolen kiss, but nothing more than that.
Credence would never have anything more than a shred of Jaimari Torus' attention.
Jai didn't respond for once, crossing the space between the two, pulling Credence into his arms. They sank their face into his shoulder, sighing deeply.
"I'm sorry, but I can't… I can't take this- us- public, Volts," Jaimari spoke into the top of Credence's head. "If my parents found out I'd be dead… I can't risk ruining their reputation. I can't do that to them."
"I understand," Credence responded- it was all he could manage. Anything he could do to hold onto this, he would. It wasn't like he had anything else left anyways- he'd destroyed his own creations, his entire life's work in a moment of weakness, too high to understand what he'd been doing to everything he'd worked so hard on. They'd ruined everything. Everything Credence touched would wither and die even though all he wanted to do was help. All he wanted to do was better people's lives and Credence had dedicated everything to their robots, to helping.
(Still, it all crumbled, before his very eyes, and Credence Voltaire couldn't do a thing about it.)
(Soon enough, Credence would join his creations, forgotten among the ashes.)
"Hey, hey," Jamiari said, pulling Credence out of his embrace. "C'mere."
"I'm already here," Credence responded quietly as Jai took his hands. "What is it?"
"I want to show you something," Jai said, leading Credence by the hand deeper into the lab. There was a large open space where Credence would often test his robots, the tile floor clicking beneath the boys' feet.
"What?" Credence asked, looking up at the taller man. "There's nothing here to show."
"Okay, hear me out," Jaimari continued. "Give me your hand."
Credence did as he was asked, giving his hand to Jaimari. "Now what?"
Jaimari guided their hand to his shoulder, wrapping a strong hand around Credence's waist. If he wanted to, Jaimari could probably snap him in two. Somehow, Credence wouldn't mind that.
"What now?" Credence asked, his breath rattling in his chest from the exertion, even though Jaimari was supporting much of his weight now, which certainly helped.
"Follow my steps," Jai responded. "I figured we could practice for the next party we go to."
"You go to parties, I do not," Credence shot back, recalling the last party he'd gone to. It was easy enough- he'd dreamed about it no more than an hour ago. "Besides, who's to say you could ever dance with me at one of them? What about your reputation?"
"That is an astute observation, Volts," Jaimari said, and they barely noticed they were moving, drifting around the tiles weightlessly. "But it doesn't mean I can't teach you anyways. Maybe you'll find somebody else to dance with."
"I doubt it," Credence responded- a little too quickly. They cleared their throat. "Sorry. No, I don't think I will."
"If you say so," Jai chuckled. There was nobody else Credence would dance with than Jaimari Torus, after all. They fell into a wordless rhythm, Jaimari humming a quiet tune, but despite the other boy supporting most of his weight Credence could feel their strength waning.
"You okay?" Jaimari asked after a moment. "Oh shit, your nose."
"What?" Credence asked, wiping his nose with his hand- it came away coated with blood. "Damn it."
"Here let me- um here take this," Jaimari said, shoving a handkerchief in his direction- it was pristine and white and Credence didn't want to ruin it, but there was no other choice. They pressed the fabric to their face, stemming the flow of blood. They weren't unfamiliar- this was a common enough occurrence, but they still felt terrible.
"Your shirt," Credence said weakly, Jai keeping his arm firmly around their waist.
"Oh," Jai said, looking down at his shirt- there were droplets of blood staining the white fabric. "Shit."
"Sorry," Credence murmured. "I'm really sorry."
"It's fine," Jaimari sighed, clearly annoyed- he was never good at hiding his feelings. "Do you want to sit?"
"Please," Credence nodded, and Jai supported him to a chair, letting them sit down. "I'm sorry."
"It's fine," Jaimari repeated. "I can deal with it, it's just a shirt."
"Okay," Credence nodded weakly, a cough wracking their body as they opened their mouth to speak again. "We should probably get to work again soon."
Jaimari shook his head. "Not when you're like this."
"I-" Credence started, but cut himself off. "I'll be fine. I can still work."
"Are you sure you don't want to rest?"
"No. I'm sure. Time is of the essence, after all," Credence snapped, harsher than intended- it was all he could do. All he could do anymore was work, because if they couldn't, what would they be? They'd be nothing- useless. He could be thrown away with no second thought, and everyone would move along, and forget who Credence Voltaire was.
"Hey, we've got plenty of time. We can fix your robots- oh and we're graduating soon, we're just getting started, right, Volts?" Jaimari exclaimed, his infectious enthusiasm returning as if it'd never left.
Credence didn't have the heart to tell him otherwise.
"Yeah," Credence nodded, their voice cracking ever so slightly. They paused, clearing their throat which nearly sent them into a fit of coughs again. "Yeah, of course."
"C'mon, let's get to it then!" Jaimari grinned, but his enthusiasm was lost on Credence. Jaimari didn't need to know Credence didn't have the kind of time Jaimari did. He'd work himself to the bone until the day he died, though. What else could he do?
Credence Voltaire would give his all, until the very end, if it meant being remembered.
Sabai Aboli, 16
District Seven.
"Good morning friends!" Sabai said, gleefully entering her lab. "We have a big day ahead of us guys, we need to look our best!"
There was no response as Sabai ventured further into the lab. This was, of course, because bugs did not speak. Sabai knew this, and yet it felt wrong to not talk to them- they were her friends, after all. Every single creature in her lab had a name, birthday, and personality. Sabai didn't see the point in not treating them like they were people, because really the only difference between her friends and humans was that Sabai's friends didn't speak. Perhaps more accurately, they did speak, just not English.
"It's wonderful to hear we're all doing well this fine Monday morning. You're looking sharp there, Glen, I see you're enjoying the new additions to your habitat," Sabai continued, stopping just in front of Glen's cage where he'd perched on a new stick she'd recently added to the enclosure- she'd noticed that Glen had been flying around less, and so she'd figured that adding something new and engaging for him to play with would fix it. It seemed her hypothesis had been correct, as Glen slowly flapped his wings at her.
Continuing through the lab, Sabai took careful notes on the state of each creature, documenting every bit of information about them. Their behaviour, activities, and else everything else she observed went into Sabai's notebook. Chandler the centipede had seemed a bit lethargic lately- perhaps she could consider introducing a new food source to his habitat. Leo the dragonfly had been in much better spirits since she'd put Lyra the treehopper in his enclosure alongside him. And the colony of ants affectionately collectively dubbed Ripps had been much less anxious since she'd moved them away from Clancy the spider.
As soon as Sabai finished her rounds, she carefully filed all of her notes away. They were organized in files by every single creature, so all of the information about each of them was easily accessible. She'd done this every single morning for as long as she could remember, her parents helping her when she was small with her minuscule collection. It'd practically quadrupled in size over time, though, leaving Sabai with a small zoo full of friends to study. In recent years, her rounds had gone from taking her twenty minutes to closer to an hour.
Sabai didn't mind a bit, though- even if it took her all day, she'd still do it. It meant the world to her that she could spend a little bit of personal time with each of her friends.
Even with her parents around, Sabai had often found herself lonely in her childhood- living on a research base in the middle of the forest certainly didn't help. The only people she'd ever interacted with were her parents and their colleagues, not a single other child to be found nearby. So she'd made her own friends- her bugs- and her parents had helped her, teaching her everything they knew.
"Sabs, love how are you doing in there?" Dad's voice called. Sabai looked up from her files to see her dad poking his head through the now cracked open door.
"Good, Dad," Sabai responded. "Almost done filing for this morning."
"Good, good! How are those new filing tabs your mother got working for you?"
"Just as well as I'd hoped," Sabai said, gesturing for her father to come and look. He padded into the lab, peering over her shoulder at the files.
"Very nice darling! This looks wonderful!" Dad exclaimed, patting her heartily on the back. "I do wonder if we could figure out a way to combine our research- I'm sure you've found some interesting things involving my plants."
"Of course," Sabai confirmed. "I note everything my friends eat, and what effects different plants have on their behaviour if you're interested in that."
Dad nodded eagerly, running his hands haphazardly through his hair. "That sounds wonderful- we should compare, once the uh… the admins depart… uh whenever that may be."
"Ah yes, the admins. Can you remind me when they're arriving?" Sabai asked as she slid the file drawer shut- she knew exactly when they were arriving, but something told her that her father didn't.
"Oh yes, they'll be here… oh, tomorrow I think?" Dad said, scratching his head. "According to your mother they're bringing some new investors as well… who are apparently also bringing their children."
"Are they?"
"Yes, and they're right around your age, too. Maybe you can give them a tour, since I'm sure they don't want to be stuck with their parents through all the, um… official stuff."
Sabai straightened up at this. She'd seen kids her age before; she'd been to town a handful of times, usually for the Reapings. But that didn't mean she'd ever really talked to them or spent more than fifteen minutes around them.
Sabai didn't mind trying, though.
"That sounds alright to me," Sabai nodded with a smile. "Perhaps I can even take them on the hiking trail."
"That sounds like a great idea! I'll let your mother know- oh, I'm running late, I need to go," Dad said, scrambling for his briefcase. He gave Sabai a quick kiss on the forehead before scrambling out the door. Sabai couldn't help but laugh a little, gently kicking the door shut with her foot.
Sabai didn't mind trying human friends a bit- and if they didn't work out, her insects were always there too.
"Sabai, they're here!" Mom called up the stairs.
Sabai sprung off her bed, responding quickly with "I'll be down in just a moment," as if she hadn't been prepared for half an hour. Passing her dresser, she swiped the ladybugs- Zeef, Lonk, and Elon- off its surface, shoving them in her pocket. Her father had always told her that putting ladybugs in her pocket was a surefire way to have good luck. Sabai herself didn't entirely believe in luck. It made no sense to her- after all, how could something as small as a few ladybugs in her pocket bring her good things? Sabai knew luck didn't actually exist, that everything good or bad that happened to her was entirely based on her actions.
But still, Sabai didn't mind believing they'd bring good to her. Not today.
Sabai descended the stairs quickly, careful not to trip. She emerged in the small foyer and found her mother. There were two children by her side- Sabai guessed the pair might be twins based on how similar they looked.
"Sabai, these are Silver and Sonnet, the Candelaria's children," Mom said, smiling slightly, as she gestured to the boy and then the girl.
"Hello," Sabai waved. "I'm Sabai."
The girl- Sonnet- waved enthusiastically, nudging her brother in the ribs until he followed suit.
"You'll be with them until lunch okay? Be out at the picnic tables by twelve-thirty."
"Of course," Sabai agreed.
"And if you need anything, just let me know," Mom continued, patting the walkie-talkie clipped to her belt. "Have fun, okay?"
"Okay!" Sabai nodded enthusiastically. Her mother squeezed her shoulder gently before leaving, the door closing firmly behind her.
"Erm," Sonnet said, looking around the small entryway. "What do we do now?"
"Well, I've set up an itinerary for the day," Sabai responded, gesturing for the siblings to follow her further into the house. "We'll start with a tour, and then around ten we'll take a hike, and then after that, we'll-"
"Do we have to do all that?" Silver asked, his voice lilting with the familiar Capitolite accent. "I mean, the hiking and all that? Don't you have… TVs here? Or video games?"
"We have one TV, yes," Sabai nodded. "It's in the middle of the base- we only get the Capitol-mandated channels, though, so we can watch the Games. As for video games… I'm not entirely familiar with what those are."
"You know, like… Games you play on the TV? Don't you have those here?"
"Um… no," Sabai shook her head.
"Shut up, Silver," Sonnet growled. "You know Mom and Dad dragged you out here so you'd actually leave your room for once. We should listen to this girl, she's interesting."
"Whatever. As long as we don't go on a hike, I burn too easily."
"That's fine, we can change the plan. Perhaps we can visit the nearby lake instead," Sabai offered.
"Fine," Silver shrugged.
"Yeah, but like… what now?" Sonnet asked, looking around bewildered.
"Let's start the tour shall we?" Sabai quickly moved on. These kids were nothing like her- they'd grown up in the Capitol, the pinnacle of wealth. Sabai didn't mind showing them the other side of life in Panem though. Sure, it wasn't their kind of scene, but that didn't mean she couldn't teach them something interesting.
"Everybody in the complex has a small house like this one, they're all standard. Many of the other scientists live in pairs, or trios, since many of them aren't married," Sabai explained, wandering through their house.
"Does that mean you're the only kid out here?" Sonnet asked, trailing behind her.
"Yeah. My mother homeschooled me."
"Don't you get bored with nothing to do?"
"No," Sabai shook her head. "Not at all. I find my own fun."
"How, though?"
"I'm glad you asked. Let me introduce you to my friends," Sabai grinned, pushing the basement door open. She led the pair down, flicking the light on as they went.
"This is creepy," Silver noted.
"It's my favourite space in the house," Sabai responded- she'd always enjoyed the cool air, especially in the middle of summer. They approached the door to her lab, Sabai carefully pushing the door open. "Please watch yourselves, it's quite a small room."
Sabai held the door open, letting the siblings file into her lab, both of them looking around curiously.
"What is this?" Sonnet asked quietly.
"This is my lab, and these are my friends," Sabai explained simply. "They're very friendly, and they'd love to meet you."
Before the siblings could say anything else, Sabai carefully opened one of the habitats, pulling out Clancy the spider who resided within. "This is Clancy, he's quite friendly! Would either of you like to hold him?"
"Wh- what the hell? Silver shook his head, stepping back, knocking into his sister as he did so. "Absolutely fucking not."
As Sonnet turned around from the enclosure she was peering into, she let out an ear-splitting shriek. "What is that?!"
"Please don't do that, you might scare them," Sabai frowned- many of the creatures were sensitive to loud noises, and the last thing Sabai wanted to do was upset them. "This is Clancy. He's from the Uloboridae strand of spiders, and he's completely non-venomous."
Sonnet didn't say another word, instead turning and fleeing from the lab. Her brother, wide-eyed, followed her after a moment, leaving Sabai alone. With a sigh, she carefully placed Clancy back into his enclosure, shutting the door carefully. Clearly, neither of the siblings was open to learning a thing, not that Sabai minded. At the very least, they could've given her friends some respect.
"Everyone okay?" Sabai asked, quickly looping through the lab. All of her friends seemed to be perfectly fine- a few of them were hiding out amongst the foliage in their enclosures, but they were otherwise okay. Sabai figured she'd do a closer inspection on her nightly rounds. Making her way out of the lab, Sabai found the siblings huddled together by the stairs having a hushed conversation.
"Please be more mindful of my friends next time," Sabai frowned. "They are sensitive to such loud noises."
"Okay, okay, just please take us out of here," Silver rushed.
Sabai politely smiled. "Of course. We can go on that hike now if you're interested."
"Fine, that's fine," Sonnet agreed, waving her hand, and so Sabai led them out of the house to the hiking path. It wasn't long before Sabai found herself lost in her mind- hiking was a great place to think, and the siblings didn't seem particularly keen on talking to her now. She might as well use the time to her advantage.
Sabai had only ever needed her friends and her parents, and she had them right where she was. She knew to keep her focus on what mattered, so why change what wasn't broken?