Chapter 42: Witch Weekly Effect - Lady Love Edition

Theodore Nott shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

He cursed the bloody witch's magazine anew. Millie woke him up several days ago, five precious minutes before the wake up charm, calling his name and roaring with laughter in his living room.

'Congrats T! You made it into Top 100 Runner-ups to the Bachelor of the Year!' then she ran her eyes, highly inappropriately, up an down his form, 'Why are you sleeping in a dress?'

'That's a nightshirt!' but Millicent roared with laughter once again.

Theo did not need attention.

There were worthier targets on that list: athletes, business owners, aurors, curse breakers. Respectable people. Some, recently divorced; some, with health wavers for brushes with Dark wizards and dark artifacts; some, with the international wavers; some, simply older, but wealthy or upstanding enough to be of interest to the witches.

Bloody overaged Kingsley Shacklebolt got the dubious honor of the top title.

And then there was Theodore Nott and his modest 67th spot on the list. Young wizard from a disgraced family who is tirelessly working to improve himself and redeem his family name. He dismissed the whole thing as pathetic, and unworthy of note. Until, a growing stack of proposals and interest letters in his home study indicated that there were plenty of witches looking for just such a wizard. He even got an invitation from the bloody magazine for an interview as the only wizard from the other side present on the list.

He was not happy. He could only imagine the amount of offers other people, worthier people, worthier witches, received!

And that last point was why he spent half his salary to send the most devious of Weasley Wheezes to Witch Weekly offices. Theo hoped the space stank for weeks to come!

Others were already making their case. Robards... Shacklebolt...

Theo was not ready. He had a three year plan!

Though, he thought, as he once again shifted from foot to foot, apparently not anymore.

Here he was, standing on a perfectly decent street, in front of a perfectly decent looking front door, feeling utterly ridiculous.

A Muggle street.

A Muggle front door.

Muggles were all around. To be fair, only two Muggles were all around. One was watering a flower bed in front of their, also perfectly decent looking, house, another was doing some strange ritual… or possibly exercising… The woman was half naked for Salazar sake! Shameless Muggles! Theo resolutely refocused on the closed door in front of him.

Theo hadn't felt this inadequate and out of place since his father's trials.

Nott Trial was one of the very first conducted by the Ministry after the Hogwarts Battle dust settled. Elder Nott didn't dispute the charges, claimed several of Theo's deeds as his own, and made a deal with Shacklebolt to blankly pardon Theo, in writing, for any misdeeds before or during the war. Theo didn't have the mark, so the newly minted Minister didn't think twice about conceding. However Theo knew, since he was of age at the time, some of his activities could have landed him at Azkaban for a few months or a few years, depending on the Ministry's mood.

'You are not making anything worse, boy. There is no hope for me, you understand.' That didn't make Theo feel better at all. 'If you survive, son, so will I. Live well, Theodore. And do not shame the family name,' were the parting words his gruff and often cold father said to him. Several minutes later the only parent he ever knew was no more.

And so standing where he was, Theodore Nott wondered whether he was living as his father instructed or shaming family name as his father explicitly instructed not to do...

The house wasn't perfectly Muggle after all. As Theo knocked on the door, he felt the wards reaching out to him, inspecting his person, testing his intentions. Clever, sophisticated, dangerous wards. He was pleased with his discovery.

'Theodore?'

Theo forced all the lessons he had ever had on how to behave towards a respectable witch, and on how the head of the house was to be around others, to the front of his mind, and all the nervousness deep down.

Be respectful, don't be soft; be polite, don't be condescending; whatever inside you, project confidence; don't look nervous, don't mumble, don't fidget, don't-

'Madame Tonks' Theo straightened, 'My apologies for the unannounced visit.'

The witch in the doorway was a far cry from the always put together and often irritable Commissioner. The woman in front of him had clothing he had never seen before… even on forever money and taste challenged Weasley and Potter. And those were the worst dressed wizards he knew. Wizards!

Be respectful!

Her eyes were red and puffy, her whole face was sort of puffy and sort of grayish.

Be kind or be quiet...

A child the size of a small pure-blooded kneazle sat in her arms making the kneazle-worthy noises and smearing the snot, spit and who knows what else all over the misshapen top she had on.

'And?'

'And…'

'And is there a purpose to your unannounced visit, Mr. Nott?'

Be confident, be courteous, but not a push-over... don't sound like an idiot, even if you are in fact-

The child let out an ear-splitting noise.

Theo winced.

The witch's eyes watered.

This was not going well...

'May I come in, Madame Tonks? I don't mean any harm.'

The witch let out a very unladylike snort.

'How reassuring'

Yet, the witch moved to the side.

Cautiously, expecting the wards if not the witch herself to give him a jolt back Theo stepped into the house. The wards stayed peaceful. The child did not.

'Here,' the screaming bundle was pushed into his arms and on instinct he grabbed onto it. 'He needs food. Amuse him while I prepare it.'

Theo saw the child before. Teddy Lupin. Andromeda's grandchild. On the child's visits to the Ministry offices, usually when Andromeda's babysitting arrangements fell through, Teddy looked, and sounded, much more acceptable.

Theo held the squirming and crying boy in outstretched arms in front of him... just like he would have a kneazle... and carefully followed Andromeda towards what turned out to be the kitchen.

Projecting confidence and being in charge sounded easier said than done at the moment. Theo also doubted he had sufficient muscle mass to hold the child like that for an extended period of time. Yet bringing the snot and spit full creature close to his immaculate clothing, or his immaculate person, felt just as impossible. He was not Blaise, but he did have some boundaries...

There were plenty of reasons why Theo was not a regular babysitter for Greg Goyle's little charges.

'He likes when Harry talks to him. You could try that.'

Theo dragged his eyes from the witch's back and back to the child in his arms..

Be respectful!

'Talk about what?'

'He is a baby, he doesn't care. Unlike myself.' the witch quickly glanced backwards, at Theo. Theo was glad his eyes were on the child at that moment. When his eyes strayed once hanging out at Draco's, Draco's other aunt promised to remove several paired body parts from his body. Theo never lingered in the same room as Bellatrix Lestrange for longer than it took to leave it ever again. 'So how about you start with the reason you are here.'

Theo swallowed.

Always have a plan…

Theo did have a plan, but his plan didn't involve screaming babies and distressed witches.

'The other day, yesterday, you moved around the auction dates for the estates. I wanted to know what that meant for Nott estate. There are items there I consider bidding on. You were unavailable.'

'You are lying Mr Nott. I just don't understand what you hope to gain by it…'

Theo wondered which part the witch had a problem with. His occlumency was good. He knew that. His father taught him. 'Leave Legilimency to wankers like Blacks. Makes one a nutter digging in another's head. Keeping your secrets secure that's the real skill, boy...'

There were several parts to his lie... he could concede some of it...

'Alright, true. I saw you talking to the Minister. You looked upset, and then you didn't return next day, and switched the estate sale dates… I wanted to know what was going on. I didn't want to intrude but I found myself... restless... nonetheless.'

The witch looked intently at him, likely trying to sense the deceit. Theo bit back a grin.

Don't gloat. Don't make her feel inferior.

This was exciting. He saw the curiosity in the witch's eyes, and was pleased. She noticed him, his skill.

'Hm, and you thought it was a good idea to drop by?'

'I know it is highly improper.'

'And yet you are here.'

'Yes'

'How daring'

Theo clenched his jaw.

Be polite.

The witch was needling him. He couldn't blame her. As a fellow Slytherin, he knew how improbable and ridiculous he sounded. He blamed Gryffindors' stupidity all around him lately for this foolish move as he waited to be sent on his way hopefully in one undamaged piece. There was just something so hopeless and helpless and lonely in the witch the last day he saw her. He found himself unable to put the memory to rest. That, and the sudden increase in unattached wizards visiting her offices.

The bloody Witch Weekly and their Runner-up lists. It served Shacklebolt right to be called out as a single Minister in a pro-marriage administration. That didn't mean others had to be called out too! Here he was now without a house, with a disgraced family name, and no accomplishments behind his own person, yet. Not the place in life he wanted to be in when he approached the witch he fancied for more than a year.

Andromeda studied the young wizard. The boy could have been hers. His father was among the possibilities, though not the most likely one, her parents discussed for when she'd come of age. Nott Sr. even then was quite senior.

She was so startled by his appearance at her door, her drowning upset gave way to utter astonishment for a few moments. The boy's manners spoke of a traditional upbringing. Manners like that were last directed at her a good 30 years ago, when young wizards from proper families started to notice and approach her. Surely she was mental to assume what his posturing likely, but so very very very unlikely, implied. Andromeda examined various possibilities and came up with no clear conclusions.

Young Mr. Nott kept waiting patiently with Teddy dangling in his arms. The milk for Teddy was ready for several minutes now. So Andromeda retrieved her grandson, and pointed the wizard to the living room with the floo-enabled fireplace hoping the boy'd get a hint and leave.

Andromeda heard the low murmur of voices from her living room. She was mildly curious what on earth the boy was discussing and with whom. Yet, the ever present apathy was too strong to bother a walk down the corridor. The soft banging of the kitchen cabinets followed soon after. Andromeda felt a twinge of irritation but again it was just a blip in the sea of absolute indifference she was drowning in since the funerals for her family were over with. And if she was honest with herself, it was a little reassuring to have another, sort of, adult in the house. Eventually, Teddy finished eating and fell asleep.

The tall wiry frame filled the nursery doorway.

It appeared young Mr. Nott knew how to hold a child when he wanted to. He carefully transferred Teddy from her arms, into his, and finally to the crib. He then inclined his head inviting her out the room. It felt very strange and somewhat irritating to be managed in her own house. Yet the reassuring feeling remained too, and she followed the wizard without objection or reprimand.

They sat in the living room quietly. A pot of tea on the coffee table between them.

'Feels like alcohol might be in order but I didn't find any.'

'There is none in the house. I'm afraid... with Teddy in the house… It won't be responsible… There is no-'

Andromeda bit the inside of her cheek to stop speaking. She clearly lost it. To contemplate heart to heart with a wizard young enough to be her son, and a death eater sympathizer if not the actual death eater to boot. A wizard younger than her daughter. Tears filled her eyes anew.

The boy frowned noticing her loss of composure but didn't comment or push for information. He simply nodded and poured her tea instead.

There was a knock on the door.

If this was Kingsley or Gawain… What got into the Minister, she couldn't understand. The rumors linked him firmly to the MIC Commissioner... And Robards was too gruff and brisk for her liking...

Instead Harry Potter stood there grinning, holding a large take away container of something that smelled like… chicken soup in one hand, and a baby carrier in another.

He sat the carrier near the entrance, leaned in for a hug, but stopped mid move. Instead, he gave her a wave and another lopsided grin.

'Ah forgot you are under the weather…'

'Under- what?'

The two walked to the kitchen. Harry finally sat his container down, and Andromeda confirmed what her nose had already told her about its contents. She felt hungry for the first time in several days.

'You can rely on me Andy.' Harry looked very seriously at her. 'You should have told me you are not feeling well. I have the week off after the Monday's bust.' He pulled the collar of his shirt to the side to show the healing welt. 'There only a side project, a research really, I work on at home... I was going to offer to take Teddy tomorrow anyway…'

Andromeda finally put all the facts together and caught up to Harry's point.

Young Mr. Nott was wise to hide in the living room.

'Harry, I'm fine.'

'Ahm…' Harry rubbed the back of his neck, 'you do look a bit under the weather though. I just want to help. Ginny and I, we both do. And the nursery at Grimmauld is all set up. The Weasleys gifted us Ginny's old crib… Suppose it's the family's crib, but since we are first with the baby coming… It's really nice, freshly polished, has new mattress-'

Harry kept on rumbling about the nursery and the full kitchen and that even Kreacher was excited about Master Teddy visiting them.

Andromeda surprised herself by agreeing to the two full days long visit.

She needed to pull herself together.

The conversation with Bella happened several days ago. Her family was as dead as they were before talking to her deranged sister. Yet she felt as if she was mourning them all afresh. And little Teddy was fussier than usual, likely feeling her distress.

Harry's soup was very good. Physically Andromeda felt better immediately. It reminded her of a happier times. Of dinners with Ted, and of taking care of sick Dora, when her daughter was young.

Her dead Ted.

Her dead Dora.

Andromeda felt her eyes fill up once again. She wiped them angrily.

'You should leave, Mr. Nott, I can't entertain - I'm not-'

The boy frowned before flattening his expression, nodded, then rose stiffly and disappeared in the hallway.

Andromeda closed her eyes letting the tears escape, upset beyond logical reason that her wishes were obeyed.

Then the couch next to her dipped and the arms were around her. It felt like the wizard simply got rid of his suit jacket.

'You don't have to keep up appearances, Madame.' He held her close, more solid and strong than his slender frame suggested, smelling if something expensive and a bit too sophisticated for his age. 'I'm a nobody.' That was the oddest, most ridiculous there-there she ever heard. 'You don't have to explain. I won't ask but I'll listen. I just want to be of help. And... you may obliviate me later if you wish.'

Andromeda had no doubt the sneaky wizard would listen if she decided to tell anything.

'I am not wiping your memory Mr Nott.' she snapped at him through her tears. 'What a foolish, boneheaded, dangerous offer! Have you got no sense?!'

Still, she couldn't be very angry with the young wizard's presumptuous murmurs and outrageous offers when she felt safe and protected and not alone for the first time in a very long time.

'Why are you really here, Theodore?'

They finally got to drinking tea. And Theo figured there wouldn't ever be a perfect moment; not when his plan and his timetable were so very skewed.

Be confident. Don't react. Keep your cool. No can turn to maybe and maybe to yes. But not, if you scare or offend the witch or the family.

'I wish to state my intention to court you, Madame Tonks.'

The witch's eyes widened and her face took on an unreadable expression. Theo's brows rose. He sounded the phrase so many times in his head, and he somehow misplaced a good half of it!

So he gathered the last of his nerve and added:

'With intent to marry.'

'And then what happened?'

'You appear unharmed…'

'And not very despaired...'

Greg Goyle and Millicent Bulstrode had matching looks of astonishment. Their little group knew of Theo's infatuation with the rebellious Black witch. They just never thought it would go anywhere.

'She laughed.'

'Sorry T!'

'She is a bit old, and likely still mourning…'

..'I'm 30 years your senior, Mr Nott.'

Andromeda bit back another peal of laughter which tried to escape. She needed a good laugh after all the despair. The young wizard didn't look amused.

'Not quite,' Theo forced himself not to fidget. The age difference was one thing he couldn't talk around. It was a number. A fact. He usually loved numbers exactly for that. Except for this one. 'If I may I'd like us to talk about it more? I'll send an owl with suggestions, somewhere close to here, in Muggle London? '..

Theo grinned thinly at his friends.

'She didn't say no.'

He might have to spend more time among Muggles, but sometimes you had to do what you had to do.

Andromeda looked over herself in the bathroom mirror as she slowly undressed.

She was a sight.

The disarrayed hair, the comfy-never-to-be-seen-in-public clothing, the grayish face. And that was in addition to the usual. The thin laugh lines, the nails of practical color and length, the stretch marks, the few extra pounds, the evidence of a slow lifestyle and too much stress. She couldn't believe young Nott's audacity to suggest courting and marriage. And expect her to take that at face value!

Andromeda didn't sense any deceit when she skimmed over his mind, though.

A chuckle escaped.

Andromeda turned the taps to fill the tub.

The young wizard had excellent mind walls, and a clear penchant for playing games. That was very intriguing, and quite attractive. She was going to keep an eye on him. She was certain most times only some of the things out of his mouth were close to truth. The trick was to figure out which times were which. The interaction stirred her old fascinations with wizards like that. Dangerous haughty boys, who grew into dangerous scheming men. Many of those men were now dead men.

Ted was different, light and simple, a breath of fresh air in comparison. But Ted was also now dead.

Andromeda added bath salts to the filling tub.

She hadn't indulged herself in a long time. Yet the presence of that unexpectedly daring Slytherin with his preposterous proposition made her want to do just that.

She sank into the slowly rising water.

It took everything in her not to fall apart under Molly's careful gaze when Hermione Granger brought her back to the Burrow. She should have left sooner, after Dora's question had been answered, after she understood just how unhinged Bella was at the end. But she couldn't help herself. And after the hardest the most recent wrong, they dissolved into rehashing old hurts, things they had never got to scream at each other about before.

So now even some of her happier memories were tainted by the things Bellatrix revealed and implied, things pushed to the back of her mind, dreams purposefully forgotten.

..think 16 year old Muggle filth was interested in marrying, dear sister? Muggle boys are in the habit of marrying at that age, are they?.. Rod and I had to explain the rules for fucking the proper witch, estranged or not, to him…

..Was he even worth it? Or did you learn to make the best of the situation, like a proper pureblood wife? Where's your OWLs to beat my own? Your NEWTs? Magical Masteries? You are an accountant. You could have been a witch!

And that's before she decided to see if Bella was telling the truth, and ran into something she'd rather she didn't.

The smell of chamomile and mint waifed into the bathroom startling away the morose thoughts.

A tray with a cup of tea and several large pieces of chocolate walked into the bathroom. Andromeda's hand flew to her heart, she squeaked, and slid to her nose into the water.

The tray in the meantime sat itself on the small stand near the tub and revealed a little elfling under it.

'Master Nott sends his thanks for…' he rummaged in his stylish overalls, '.. for agreeing to meet, and for con-tem-play-ting his word.'

Andromeda's one hand still clutched her solar plexus, while the other took the letter from the elf.

'Do thank him for the tea.'

Andromeda cast the Bubble-head charm and stretched underwater in her tub listening to distorted sounds of the house and thinking about her unexpected dilemma.

The young wizard managed to bring some peace, content and curiosity to her numb and despaired mind in a span of a few hours. And if the things she noticed half draped over his person and crying into his shoulder were not figments of her imagination, Mr. Nott was not as harmless or useless as Marriage Commission was led to believe.

Andromeda decided she could at the very least hear him out... later that same day.

End of Chapter 42