Chapter 43: October Blues, News, and Kisses
Oct 23'98 [Sat]
I think I've just been stood up…
Wonder if Lestrange had trouble commuting to the Master suite, or just changed her mind about her own idea.
The quill tapped softly on the mostly empty page of Hermione Granger's journal.
Despite its tumultuous beginning the rest of October passed rather uneventfully at the Black Grotto House. The two witches fell into the new routine of long weekends easily. They still spent most of Saturdays together; left each other to their own space on Thursdays and Fridays; and had several set common activities on Sundays. For the outside observer, the arrangement was now more in line with the expectations of the Law.
Newspapers and magazines didn't report any meaningful happenings, as if the month was going uneventfully for the entire Wizarding Britain. Out of the twenty three missives to undermine Wizengamot members, six of which, Hermione sent out in October, only twelve, from the earliest batches were published, either in their original form, or as a part of a bigger story. The silence hinted at the Ministry's involvement.
Hermione leafed through her October entries.
Oct 5'98 [Mon]
I've decided. I'm going to Australia.
To hell with the Ministry.
I'm not going to even ask for travel permissions, won't give them a chance to refuse under some lame excuse.
Going to travel by plane. So excited! My first Muggle-style trip as an adult.
I think Bellatrix only suggested that hoping I'd perish. Ha! Should get her a souvenir, as a thank you!..
Oct 9'98 [Fri]
Told H. about Owler. I don't want him to think I've changed my mind about interviewing B. I haven't. Our roles are confusing enough without adding me being the aurors' helper to the mix! But if Owler didn't hurt his wife the criminal is still out there.
Mr. Owler-Avery doesn't sound to be of the Death Eater mindset as the papers painted him to be... just because he has Avery in his last name...
"The boy is bastard," B. said when the topic of the assault and torture came up during the last Sunday's 'family' tea.
As if that explained everything.
Thankfully, [Mrs.M, scratched off] N. clarified.
"The boy and his mother were treated despicably by both involved families in the name of propriety and tradition. Unless he is of damaged mind, I don't see him torturing any witch, and certainly not due to her blood status... months after the marriage..."
PS: what she meant is months after the two were forced into having sex... is that how it works... you snap right away or don't snap at all... Or is it only for those of sound mind... Is B. of sound mind?..
PPS: It's quite amusing to see just how much it irks B. that N. addresses me by my first name...
Oct 13'98 [Tue]
Prof. L. finally allowed me into the DADA practice. Today was the dueling teams competition between the eight-years.
Padma and Dean wanted to be on the same team, Lavender and Susan joined them, and so did Justin. Daphne, Blaise and I were left for the second team. Blaise is not very dueling inclined.
Bellatrix's tutoring really paid off though. Daphne and I held our own for awhile and probably would have won...
The more I think, the more I doubt V. taught B. to duel. Maybe some awful spells, but not the style, the mindset. She teaches like one would teach a child… like someone had taught her when she was a child… Using the elves was not what I assumed at all! Maybe, I just want it to be so, want to believe I'm not benefiting from V. teachings.
Of course, then I had to go and think about B. teaching children, teaching our children, and how exactly we were going to go about getting said children...
That pretty much hiccupped my brain, and Susan Bones Stupefied me right into the wall.
Bloody Susan Bones.
She looked as surprised as I felt.
By the look on Prof. L. face, she guessed I didn't improve my dueling skill on my own. What am I supposed to do?.. The only thing she has me doing is writing and rewriting essays...
Oct 15'98 [Thu]
I should be studying, but here I am, spending another afternoon translating Cygnus Black diary. It goes so bloody slow, and B. refuses to help.
Bellatrix, if you are snooping, I do not believe you don't know French!
So far it has no information on the wards, no family secrets, no sinister war plans to assist V. It reads like a journal of a retiree, and not necessarily a magical one. Family, fishing, gardening, regrets...
I usually skip the gardening and the fishing.
Should I pay more attention?..
Could that be some code?!..
Cygnus entries always start with Ma Cherie, Elle... My Darling Elle... Elle has to be short for Druella...
And always end with Tu me manques, mon coeur... I miss you, my heart... If I translated correctly...
I should start putting the translations in a separate notebook.
~1973
..we are grandparents now… Andy had a girl with that Muggle of hers… grandchild neither of us will see...
Cissy was hurt to learn from the paper.
Bella must have been furious to learn at all... The Prophet's office burned down early this morning, courtesy of hers, I'm sure. She is turning into something I don't recognize.
...You were right. I should have listened. Now I can only wait.
...Walburga overdone herself, burned Andy off the tapestry. Had the gall to demand I complete the severance ritual, withdraw the protection. Not speaking to her at the moment. She is welcome to burn my name off next. The harpy!
~1974..
...Our little Cissy is graduating today.
...The wedding is in a few weeks.
Malfoys don't wish to delay, and neither does she.
Malfoys demand traditional bonds. Cissy is concerningly indifferent. Bella will kill them all when she finds out.
Cissy keeps bringing Bella as an example. Bella had traditional ceremony. Bella was two years younger when she got married...
She would never know how much her words pain me...
I don't understand their family dynamic at all!..
It's like he regretted things with A. and B. but he didn't do anything to fix it. He's dismissive of Muggle-born Ted, but not fanatically hateful as I expected... or maybe he didn't want to waste paper on his hatred... If he was the head of the family... wasn't it his job or his right or whatever to do as he wished and make others in his house behave?..
I really should study!.. but I can't let the translations go now, not until I'm done with all of them... I'm too curious...
Even if they are of no help with the wards...
Oct 20'98 [Tue]
..Now I know what happens when you try to go through the roof... aka Hogwarts anti-apparition wards… at [full speed, scratched off] unwavering determination. Highly unpleasant!
"Pet, should I answer the Witch Weekly Mail-In Interview questions for you?..
Asking since you were so terribly ungrateful the last time I took initiative.
They really want to hear about your happiness in this marriage...
About ALL types of your happiness…
Also, Ministry sent over some type of marriage quiz yesterday
Perhaps I can answer that one instead..."
Ginny finds Bellatrix's [love notes, scratched off] Tuesday messages, or Love Notes as Ginny insists on calling them, very amusing.
They are not!
She roared with laughter attracting the attention of half the Great Hall over this one... until [morning-sickness, scratched off] any-hour sickness distracted her. Thankfully!
Merlin, B. better not take any more initiatives!..
Hermione snapped the notebook closed. She wasn't in the mood to document anything. She wasn't entirely sure what exactly to document about the day...
The chain of events which culminated in that day's morning conversation and her consequent solo evening started several weeks before. She was sure.
Late on Sunday evening, when Bellatrix had retired for the night, Hermione attempted to uncover some more of the House's secrets. However, the full hour of Revelios didn't uncover any hidden items or spaces in the House. That's when Hermione remembered a stack of private journals in the twin Master's study. The notebooks were written in French, and so initially Hermione put them aside.
Yet, something changed about the House wards, was possibly still changing.
Ron's Patronus was allowed through. Andromeda's privacy charm failed. Narcissa's charms were likely failing too. Hermione was around often enough for the sisters' visits, and usually only the hum of privacy charms came out of any room Bellatrix and Narcissa were in. It was odd that the sisters' argument about Andromeda's visit was allowed the potential extra ears.
Hermione wanted to learn more before bringing any of this up to Bellatrix, or to Narcissa, or to the auror office for that matter... She really didn't want to bring anything up to the aurors' attention.
The private papers of the previous inhabitant of the House seemed like a good place to start the investigation.
'So you've found the twin suite…' was whispered somewhere near her ear as Hermione closed the door between the Master suites' bedrooms.
Hermione screamed, dropped the French journals, and frantically grabbed at the usual places she stored her wand.
'Lestrange?!' she hissed when she was certain it wouldn't come out as a squeak.
Hermione squinted at the witch. There was a definite smirk on her lips, and amusement in her eyes.
'Expected someone else?'
Bellatrix was dressed in a floor-length black nightgown. The material shimmered softly where the dim candlelight fell at just the right angle. Most of the gown blended completely with the shadows, making the visible and shimmering parts of the witch's body appear to float in the air.
Hermione's hand as if on its own accord reached for the spot where Bellatrix's waist had to be, if the vision was real. Much to her relief her hand felt the solid warmth of a body under it.
The smirk left Bellatrix's lips, amusement changed to curiosity in the dark eyes.
Slowly pale hand set over Hermione's upper chest, fingers rubbed lightly over the defined collarbone.
Hermione's hand slid lower and tugged the witch closer.
Dark eyes widened, but the witch let herself be pulled close.
Bellatrix' other hand found Hermione's waist.
The two looked into each other's eyes unsure where they were going with the sudden closeness.
Bellatrix leaned in.
Lips ghosted over Hermione's ear.
'The twin suite. How did you find it?'
That was not where Hermione thought their sudden embrace was going.
Reluctantly Hermione explained about the flicker in the concealment charm, and about casting various Revelio's, and admitted that this was not the first time she was inside the space. The dark witch appeared quite pleased rather than outraged by Hermione's infiltration of her father's private space.
At some point during Hermione's muttered explanation, Bellatrix's hand moved from her collarbone to be wrapped loosely about the side of the younger witch's neck; fingers threaded lightly through the hair at the nape, thumb pressed firmly enough over the pulse point to surely feel the heart beat.
Hermione's heart thundered, in fright or in excitement, she couldn't tell. Bellatrix Lestrange's hand was on her neck! Bellatrix had to have felt her body's reaction.
Hermione should have felt more alarmed... alarmed enough to pull away. Instead, contrary to any logic or self-preservation, she leaned into the touch. And touch became a fraction firmer at her move. Still Hermione didn't pull away.
Her own hands weren't behaving properly either. Hermione idly wondered whether the nightgown had some enchantment on it. Something to facilitate nightly activities... Because she couldn't stop her hands from running over Bellatrix's hips and back and ass.
Bellatrix's eyes were lidded, her face was moving closer. Hermione's tongue ran over her lips...
'What are we doing?'
And just like that, the moment shattered.
Bellatrix stepped away, wide-eyed and frowning.
'I am going to bed.'
The witch did exactly that, disappearing in the cocoon of pillows and blankets.
Hermione lingered, unreasonably bothered by the abrupt change, and feeling silly for feeling that way.
Bellatrix sat up.
'Are you going to stand there till morning?'
'Don't know.'
Hermione's eyes got used enough to the dim light by then to make out the puzzled knit of the brows and evaluating look in the eyes. She frowned in response, unhappy to feel as if under microscope.
'Stay if you must…' with that Bellatrix laid back down.
Hermione collected the fallen journals and set them on the nightstand on the side closer to the ensuite. Now that she had the sort of invitation to stay, she wasn't sure...
'Right... You are in the middle of the bed.'
'I always sleep in the middle.'
Right...
'Of course, you do.'
The two times they spent the nights, unintentionally, weren't so awful. Bellatrix's presence didn't automatically cause nightmares. Perhaps this was a chance to test whether intentional sleep-over would go just as peacefully. Reaching such resolution, Hermione summoned PJs, finished her evening bathroom routines, and settled on the side closer to the ensuite. The bed was big enough, and that was the side she ended up on most often when in this room with Bellatrix anyway.
Bellatrix was peering at her from her spot in the middle.
'What?
'The candle stays on. And, today is not Saturday.'
Right...
This was not Saturday, but they could talk about stuff that almost happened...
'Bellatrix-'
'Good night, spawn'
They avoided discussing the events of that night, both feeling a little awkward about their parts in the encounter, both wondering what and why prompted the other's behavior.
The Universe, aka the ever meddling Marriage Initiative Commission, was not about to let the two witches ignore the issues of intimacy for too long.
When Hermione returned to the Grotto for the latest long weekend she discovered the Ministry package Bellatrix informed her about in her Tuesday missive. The Ministry quizzes, same as the bothersome Witch Weekly Mail-In interview form, were thankfully present and untouched. She burned the Interview form just in case Bellatrix decided to take initiative in her own heads after all.
"Dear Couple,
The Marriage Law mandated Interview to measure your progress towards happy matrimony is nearing close. In order to help us make your interview experience easier, please make every effort to spend time on the included materials.
In the package you'll find two of each: truth quill, Trust and Safety Assessment (TaS Assessment), and Am I on Track to Happy Marriage Quiz (AITHM Quiz).
AITHM Quiz aim is to evaluate your marriage, and identify weak spots in your relationship. Answer the Quiz truthfully, discuss your answers with your spouse, and work to address issues ahead of the interview.
MIC Interviewing team encourages you to use the truth quills for both questionnaires. Assessments completed with common quills will be accepted, but may result in a more detailed Marriage Interview.
Please complete TaS Assessment and return to the MIC Interviewing Team within a month of receipt. Do not return AITHM Quiz.
If you have trouble communicating with your spouse regarding topics covered by Assessment or Quiz please contact MIC Interviewing Team to request services of MIC mediator.
Respectfully,
MIC Interviewing team"
The Assessment questions were well-meaning, but intrusive and patronizing. As the name suggested it attempted to record how safe and heard each spouse felt in the union. Bellatrix started scribbling something on her own copy right away, while Hermione was still debating pros and cons of using the truth quill vs the regular quill.
The truth quills worked when the person was sincere in their message. She suspected there was some charm on the Assessment to make sure the person who signed it was the one responding to the questions. If someone was allowed to put their sincere answers to someone else's form, there was no point to truth quill.
Less than 5 minutes passed and Bellatrix announced she was heading to the owlery.
Hermione was curious enough to ask how Bellatrix finished so quickly. The witch unrolled the scroll with a raised brow and a faint smirk on her face.
NOT YOUR BUSINESS, YOU BLOODY WANKERS, was written in the emerald green of the truth pen across the length of the Assessment.
'Wait! I'll do the same, and we can send them both with one owl.'
Hermione's truth quill refused to write when she attempted the same feat.
To add insult to injury, Bellatrix kept tapping her foot impatiently and frowning at Hermione with mocking disbelief; as if asking how the quill could fail… how Hermione could have doubts about telling the Ministry off… when Hermione given up the belief in her right to privacy so completely…
Hermione stormed to her room after several failed attempts, threw the Assessment scroll under her bed, and resolved to ignore it until the end of times. She knew all she needed to know about safety and trust in regards to her spouse. No one else needed to know that. Everyone assumed whatever they pleased anyways! Their Marriage Interview would be endless and intrusive no matter what she and Bellatrix put on paper.
Both witches were somewhat curious about the detailed quiz. So after Bellatrix was back from the owlery and Hermione got over her frustration, the two attempted to go through the Quiz, though using regular quills.
They didn't get far.
Q1: Rate your marriage from 1 [troll] to 10 [outstanding]
Bellatrix put 10.
Hermione put 8.
Both sets of eyebrows rose when they saw each other's response.
'You are lying,' accused the younger witch.
'I'm not dead or in the dungeons. I say it is a ten!' frowned the older witch stubbornly. 'You are the one who lies.'
'I'm still alive, haven't been tortured, and you are not bugging me about having children, tutor me in DADA, and can keep up intellectual conversation. I say it's at least an eight…' glared the younger witch right back, then added for good measure, 'maybe even a ten.'
Q2: Rate emotional intimacy in your marriage from 1 [troll] to 10 [outstanding]
Bellatrix put 5.
Hermione put 5.
They looked at each other's answers... and moved on.
Q3: Rate intellectual intimacy in your marriage from 1 [troll] to 10 [outstanding]
Bellatrix put 6.
Hermione put 8.
'Seriously?!' asked the younger witch.
'I'm bored' pouted Bellatrix. 'And we mostly talk about stuff you like or value.'
'You don't even call me by my name most of the time!' objected Hermione. 'Like, what do you want to talk about? Torture and mayhem?!'
'See!' snapped Bellatrix, and changed her 6 to 5.
Q4: Rate physical intimacy in your marriage from 1 [troll] to 10 [outstanding]
Bellatrix put 6.
Hermione put 2.
'No way,' said Hermione.
'This is stupid!' frowned Bellatrix and stormed out the library.
And those were supposedly the easy general questions. Most others were much more specific and some were even open-ended. Privately, Hermione went through all the questions. She obsessed over each of her own answers, tried to imagine Bellatrix's response to all of them, and tried to guess how they could improve their result ahead of the Marriage Interview.
..Can you express negative emotions comfortably around your spouse, and why/why not?..
-Depends on the emotion, but sure, why not... she wouldn't care to pay attention anyway, right?..
..Do you tell your spouse how you feel about them? Does your spouse do the same?
-Uhm no, it's better for our marriage if we don't... I think.
Do you welcome affectionate touch from one another?
- define welcome... and does the almost-sex count?..
The questions were going on and on and on.
Hermione found herself genuinely curious about the dark witch's take on many of them. Hermione was pleasantly surprised they weren't completely hopeless in some topics. They respected each other space... Bellatrix snooping in her room notwithstanding... They followed the agreed-upon plans... mostly... unless Bellatrix was upset or Hermione forgot to inform of the change of plans... which usually went hand-in-hand... and Hermione did work to be better at that
Mostly though, she was despaired.
She obviously could guess which responses were desired. She didn't need to go far but think of her parents to know one of the good ways to be. Doubtful, she and Bellatrix could ever get even half way there for many of the topics. They couldn't study for these types of questions, they had to be a certain way for them.
There were just three months left until the interview.
They should focus on getting to know each other, that, the learning of fact, those were the doable things, the things they could improve on.
The deep discussions... They didn't do that.
Bellatrix and Hermione might not have done deep discussions, but several days later, on this Saturday morning, they did have a discussion.
'What we do is not really… it'
Bellatrix took a sip of her wine and looked at Hermione over the breakfast table.
'Right…' Hermione stated slowly wondering where the conversation was going. She had a pretty good idea what was the it in the statement.
'You were going to kiss me the other night.'
'We were going to kiss, before you… changed your mind.'
Dark eyes narrowed at the correction. Instead of arguing the point, Bellatrix refocused on her breakfast.
'Today is Saturday... pick something... you can live with'
Hermione rolled her eyes at the echo of her own words.
'Why me?'
'Why not?'
'Seriously?'
'I picked last time,' the dark witch smirked. 'I can't do all the work in this relationship'
Hermione coughed on her juice.
Hermione puzzled over Bellatrix's motivation for the instruction the whole day. They were getting comfortable with their spooning. She let her hands wander a bit, to see Bellatrix reaction, and the witch allowed that... Not to mention that almost kiss situation... Perhaps, doing more was not out of the question.
She decided to keep stuff simple. They spoke of the kisses and they almost did kiss... So...
Only Bellatrix didn't show.
Hermione went to the Master suite early and hang out at the sitting room with Cygnus journal and a dictionary, when she realized the time and Bellatrix's continuous absence.
When the witch was still missing at breakfast next day, Hermione went looking.
Black eyes flew open and then widened even further at the close proximity of the browns.
'Granger,' Bellatrix pushed Hermione away, 'get off! Don't tell me you were overcome with passion.'
Hermione fought the hysterical laughter. She wasn't on the witch to get off. Still she sat back on her knees to give the witch space.
She looked for Bellatrix for several hours. When Homenum Revelio didn't show anyone in Bellatrix's rooms, Hermione started to fear the witch actually left the island. Then she spotted the prone unmoving form on the floors behind some furniture, and started to fear the witch somehow died on her watch.
'There is a time and a place for that, you know.' Bellatrix muttered irritably, sitting up and rubbing her temple. 'Later.' She added noticing the bright sunlight all around them.
Hermione snorted. Bellatrix was clearly still getting her wits around where and when she was and how she got there.
'I do know that... but do you-' Hermione squeezed out failing to keep amusement out of her voice. Bellatrix frowned suspiciously at the younger witch's cheer. The girl rarely risked being that cheeky with her. '...but do you know it is a Sunday morning? Losing you touch with the howlers, darling?'..
The look on the pale face was priceless.
End of Chapter 43