Disclaimer: Anything that rings a bell is JK Rowling's

Chapter 21: To bare my cowardly claws.

This is just like fucking Potter. He could never make his mind up, could he? And what the fuck, he doesn't even know her, yet he likes her! I bet he couldn't tell me one thing about her except that she had shiny hair and a pretty face.

"Ky, you dropped this."

I snapped around, my look of annoyance made Neville take a step back. His face went pale quickly and I quickly dropped the look and sighed, taking the pink slip that must have fallen as I stormed down the stairs.

"Thanks Neville."

He nodded, not even letting out a squeak. Ugh, this just made me feel bad. "Sorry about the whole…face looking like the blast end of a skrewt, I've been having a crap day."

He smiled sympathetically at that, "I could tell. I think we all could. I suppose Harry has detention too."

I held the snarl back at the mention of his name and took the seat across from Mi, Neville hovered behind me.

"Aren't you going to sit?"

He complied quickly and nervously, fumbling his way onto the right part of the bench. Mi didn't look too pleased with this; I could tell she wanted to discuss what happened in class earlier, but Neville's presence didn't allow for it. Ron was already on his second helping and asked me with his mouth full to the brim,

"Worts the verdick?"

Mi looked at him crossly, chastising him about talking with his mouth full and I pushed my slip in her textbook, so she knew what the verdict was without having to disturb their argument. I turned back to Neville.

"How's the Mimbletonia doing?"

His nervousness vanished almost instantly as a small smile splayed across his chubby cheeks, "It's doing great. Its growing at a rapid rate actually. I think it's time I start to breed."

I nodded, "You should do it tonight."

He looked startled, "I know. The conditions are perfect, aren't they? Temperature, humidity, even lunar cycle…"

He didn't have to look so astonished. I wasn't as adverse to books as I was last year, especially in my summer of distraction. Plus, Herbology was the sister science of potions, a good brewer should know their ingredients better than they know the steps to the potion.

"Then what's stopping you?"

He blushed slightly and I realised what it must be. Breeding Mimbletonia needed more than one set of hands.

"I have detention in the greenhouse today. Minnie sent an owl in the morning, I am under Filch's care, and it seems like old Argie wants me sorting out the Dragon Dung compost. I'll help you then. "

Speaking of compost, Cho and Harry just walked in. I held my neck stiffly and continued talking, "It's starts at five, so we have to be quick here. Will that be OK?"

Neville looked as if he downed a bottle of Wide Eye potion; he really shouldn't be so shocked that someone is offering him help. He nodded excessively and dug into his food. A minute later we got up and left, I didn't even tell Mi goodbye, not wanting to talk to Harry and knowing that she would see my detention slip anyway.

-x-x-x-

"Quickly, cover them!"

I swiftly floated the pot of soil and tilted it over the two Mimbletonia that Neville was holding down. They were more than just a handful with their increased motility in the night and he let go, the soil holding them securely. I tipped the next pot over, the soil covering them completely now and Neville quickly patted it down. He was soaked with stink sap, I siphoned most of it out and into a vial. He smiled through the goo,

"Thanks a lot."

"No problem, maybe we should play some romantic music. I know Mona has a wireless over here somewhere."

He laughed, "No, the mating has more to do with the position of the limbs in the soil than anything romantic. It's a physiological response due to the conditions. Should be done in an hour. Want some help with the dung?"

He was really in his element with herbology, wasn't he?

"If you're sure, I won't say no. It's back here."

I held the door open for him and he walked inside to the back room. It smelled ten times worse than the stink sap and I thanked the Founders I had a strong stomach. Neville didn't even crinkle his nose at the smell,

"I've done these loads of times for Professor Sprout. It's best to make your own compost, she only let's Filch make the ones for the first years. I've made the ones for the older students a few times."

I couldn't help smiling at the look of pride on his face. "Firstly, you have to mix the dung with the Antiseptic solution over there. Then fill up those buckets with the mixture to this line," He prodded the two third mark, "and then top it up with the soil. Cast a mixing spell for a minute. That's all."

It wasn't complicated and we worked in silence; I didn't feel like opening my mouth in this room. But I could see why Neville didn't mind so much…it was kind of soothing, playing in the mud. Fine, it was dung, but thinking of it as mud made me feel better. We were done in forty minutes, and I was happy to breathe freely in the front room.

"Thanks Neville, I probably would be here all night if it wasn't for you. And then dear old Umbridge would probably give me another month's worth of detention for missing hers."

He laughed, "What time is it by the way? I hope I didn't make you late." He added, worried.

"Nah, I have another few minutes to kill before I face the old toad. No offence to Trevor."

He laughed but his face turned serious quickly, "What do you think she'll have you do?"

I shrugged, "I have no idea, probably will be horrid though."

"She'll probably make you write lines; she looks the type to do that." He said consolingly.

I laughed bitterly, "She looks the type to put the torture curse on me over and over again!"

The words flew out of my mouth before I could stop myself. So much for having a strong stomach; I cringed at my word vomit. He turned around quickly, obviously trying to school his features. Uh-oh, I was such an idiot.

"Look Neville-"

He laughed but it echoed with falseness, "Or she'll make you-"

"I know about your parents."

He turned around quickly, his face morphing from shock to anger. I guess I used the quick like a band-aid approached too often. I was meaning to have this talk with him ever since Harry had told me last term.

"That's none of your business!" He was defensive in his words and posture.

"Of course it isn't." I said, agreeing with him completely. "I won't ask you anything about it, I promise. I just thought that you should know that one of those fuckers is dead." I told Harry the night that he and I had shared all our secrets that Neville deserved to know who Mad Eye really was. Harry didn't want to have this conversation; I couldn't blame him though. He just saw Voldemort come back and was dealing with…I'll do this for him. Spare him one difficult conversation…

Neville leaned against the tabletop, his face pale and his eyes unfocused, "Lestranges…"

"No. Not them. Crouch. You should probably sit." I gestured to the stool, and he fell into it, still staring at me with his brows furrowed. I told him all about the real identity of Moody last year. He looked as if he was going to throw up and I honestly didn't blame him.

"I can't…he was so…" He stood quickly and began to pace the room, his breathing coming out in erratic spurts; he grabbed his hair, trying to fathom the fact that the man that had tortured his parents was so close to him last year.

I placed my hand softly on his forearm, "I'm not going to tell you to calm down, because you have every right to fucking rage about it. It's not OK what happened, none of it is OK."

He looked at me, his eyes not seeing me at all. I quickly hugged him to me, knowing what he needed right now was some quiet and warmth. He held me tightly and I felt his tears wet my hair; I didn't look up though, knowing it would embarrass him. I just concentrated on the floor, until his breathing became normal.

"Last year I was attacked. By a death eater. He…did quite a number on me. I was breaths away from death…it left me unconscious for three months."

He hadn't said a thing, but I could tell he was listening. "In those three months…", I hesitated, I hadn't really spoken about this to anyone except Mi, and I never told her about the coma, not wanting to frighten her any more than I already had. "They say you're unconscious but you're not really. Not all the time. I don't remember hearing anyone, but they were times, times that come up in my dreams that have me retching myself awake…you feel. And smell. I had dreams about it…memories. I could smell Mi's shampoo, and Sev's herbal scent, Linus and Lenzo's cologne…feel Nonno's hands, Kinky's too…I just thought you…you should know."

I knew his parents were lying somewhere, not completely lucid. I didn't know if he still visited them or not, but I felt like it's necessary for him to know from someone first-hand that they really could sense him there, even if they didn't respond.

"Did it hurt?"

"No. I don't remember pain; I think that's why you're in that state…to cope."

I dug in my pocket and pulled out the page I had stumbled across in Filch's office before term had closed and fished it out of my trunk at the start of term, waiting for the right time, "Here."

He took it from me, and his lips trembled…

"I'll see you around Neville."

I knew he needed to be alone right now, and I walked out of the Greenhouse, the last thing I heard was his sniffles as he looked down at the detention slip containing the handwritten confession that Alice Burke and Frank Longbottom made. That Argus Filch had caught them making out behind Greenhouse Three on the first day of term…I'm not sure whether it was good sniffles, or bad ones, but I would have appreciated a token to remember that I came from that kind of love.

A few minutes later I knocked at the door. That whole conversation with Neville had really put things in perspective for me. What was I to be angry about? What really? Here was Neville, whose parents were lying comatose somewhere, the people responsible locked up but living, no real redemption…yet he painted a smile on his face every day and treated everyone pleasantly.

And I couldn't even man up and tolerate Umbridge.

"Come in." The saccharine voice of the devil invited me into her little piece of hell. It was exactly as I imagined it to be; I stepped through the door and stared at the pink pinkness. This lady had problems. Perhaps upon finding out how ugly she was as a baby; her mother forced the colour on her as some kind of therapy. To make her more feminine. It explained the bows…and the frills and the little squeak of a voice.

She smiled her sickening curve at me, "Please come sit."

She gestured to the chair and table in front of her. I furrowed my brows; I guess Neville was right; she was the line giving type.

I sat down and a moment later there was a quiet knock on the door. She stood and went to the door. I watched one of the kittens in her many portraits scratching the glass at me,

"Come in."

I turned around, had someone other than myself managed to anger her so much to put them in detention on the first day. I know Harry's started tomorrow. My eyes widened slightly as it fell on the familiar shiny hair and pretty face. She smiled shyly at me. I tried to instruct my face to do the same but I'm sure it must look more a grimace.

"I am sure you know Miss Thornton, Miss Chang."

Cho turned to her and nodded. What on earth was going on? Chang didn't seem the type to get detention.

"Marvellous." It didn't seem marvellous at all, Umbridge walked to her seat, gesturing Cho to sit on the chair next to mine. I noticed she didn't have a desk.

"Are you sure about this Miss Chang?"

Cho's lips trembled slightly and then she nodded quickly.

"Splendid. Now Miss Thornton, I would like you to-"

"What's going on…Professor Umbridge." I threw in the last part, remembering what I had told myself before I walked in here. She smiled at the act of submission,

She did that vile little laugh of hers, "You see Miss Thornton, after your departure in class, Mr Potter got me thinking. It's ever so disrespectful that we haven't written a little story to go in the school archives about the unfortunate circumstances resulting in Mr Diggory's death. All the details would be there, about how he passed away in his attempt at glory in the Triwizard Tournament. Well, it seems I am in a kind mood today and for your detentions I have decided that you shall help me gather the information necessary for the article this week. I've already written the questions. I shall leave you to it. I know this must be painful for Miss Chang, I don't want to make a hard situation that much more difficult with my authoritative presence. Will you be more comfortable if I left?"

I watched as Chang shook her shiny head in the negative.

As she spoke my heartbeat faster and faster, my breathing came quicker but I held steady. I wouldn't let this woman see how this affected me. Not this vile, despicable excuse of a human being who will take advantage of something as painful as death to execute punishment on a temperamental fifteen-year-old. I controlled my every feeling, my every action, ensuring I didn't send this woman flying out the window.

I took a deep steadying breath that I hid as I fidgeted in my seat; I flipped over the parchment and read the first question, desperate to flee as soon as possible.

"What was your relationship to Cedric Diggory?"

I didn't look at Chang, and my throat burned as I tried to steady my voice. I concentrated on the parchment, hunched over it.

She hesitated for a moment, but I think that had more to do with the fact there was a teacher in the room. I bet she blushed as she said, "He…was my boyfriend."

"How long did you date for?"

"About six months, we started…oh should I just answer the question-"

"Elaborate as much as you want Miss Chang. Talking helps."

Like this bitch knew a thing that helped anyone, "OK. Erm, he asked me to the Yule Ball. And then afterwards he asked me to go steady."

"How did he do this Miss Chang?"

I scribbled, concentrating on the sound the quill was making, trying to write without fully processing.

"He…told me how he felt about me. That he really liked me and that he never…" sniffle, "he never met a girl like me before. He was always very romantic." I heard her blow her nose.

"What was your first date like?"

Really…this was for the school archives? Umbridge was being quite obvious. Someone must have told her about Cedric and I – why else would she make this my punishment.

"Well, we went to Madam Puddifoots in Hogsmeade, it was the first trip after the Christmas break. He was the perfect gentleman, he pulled out chairs, fit the bill even though I wanted to go Dutch, he…he bought me a rose. He gave me his sweater when it got cold…it was amazing. Oh, and he got me this."

She was gesturing to something, and I moved my head mechanically up; she pulled out a necklace with a small diamond in the middle.

"He always did sweet things like that."

I looked back down at the parchment, "How did you feel when he pulled you out of the lake?"

"Well, I was numbed by the cold, but that day was also the day that I realised…" She sniffled some more, "…that I loved him."

She cried a bit more. I spared a glance to Umbridge, would she really let the girl go through this to get at me. I met her bland brown eyes, as she stared at me. I schooled my face, showing nothing. I watched as her lips moved when I hadn't voiced the next question,

"What made you realise that you loved him, Miss Chang."

"Once we got out of the lake, he disappeared…I thought it was strange at first, but when he got back, he had my favourite coat and blanket and a steaming cup of my favourite tea…"

Umbridge stared at me, satisfaction gleaming from her beady eyes, nodding her head instructing that I read off the next question, "What were your opinions on him being chosen as Hogwarts Champion?"

"He was the best choice. He was talented and brave and had all the makings of a hero. I mean…Harry is also talented; I just think he was too young. Cedric was mature, more ready."

"What are three words you would use to describe him?"

"Honest, loyal and hard working."

So Hufflepuff, I thought. "Did you see a future with him?"

"Of course. Ced and I…" More sniffling, "My future was him."

I bit my lower lip hard, thankful for the hair blocking my face. "If he were…"Breathe Ky, just read it off.

"Yes Miss Thornton."

Anger that helped me keep the pain away allowed me to pick my head up and look Umbridge straight in the eye, "If he were here today, what do you think he would say about…the circumstances. Would he blame the committee?"

What kind of fucked up question was that.

She sniffled, "Cedric wasn't one to blame. And he definitely wouldn't blame the Ministry. He actually wanted to join the Ministry after school."

She was quiet and I noticed that she was crying silently.

Umbridge patted her hand comfortingly, "This was very brave of you Miss Chang. Now you can rest easy knowing the real Cedric Diggory will be known by everyone for ages to come."

Cho nodded and made her way to the door.

Umbridge turned to me, I bit my inner cheek until I tasted rust but couldn't stop, I waited for her to dismiss me.

"You may leave Miss Thornton. Same time tomorrow."

I nodded mechanically and made for the door.

"Miss Thornton?"

I turned around, the blood pounding in my ears in fury but I held it at bay.

"The parchment Miss Thornton."

I looked down at the parchment that was scrunched in my fist.

After all that…after everything…this little action showed Umbridge just what she wanted.

She had won.

-x-x-x-

I felt the twinge in my stomach once I exited the door, no amount of breathing will neutralise the acid that was building up within me. I walked slowly at first, thoughts incoherent. Neat brown hair and grey eyes…green light.

I started running; I ignored the shout from the prefect and continued through. It was as if the wind pushed the thoughts away, kept the memories at bay. The fat lady smiled down at me, but I muttered the password. I made the common room in five strides and pushed the door to the dorm, heading straight for sanctuary.

"…ric was in his hands! Nobody saw what happened that day Parvati…put two and two together. Do you honestly think he can beat You Know Who?"

"Well Dumbledore says-"

"Dumbledore's senile. Didn't you read the-"

I didn't wait for Bobby to continue, I barged into the bathroom. She stood stock still, her toothbrush hanging loosely in her mouth. I crossed the room in a step, ignoring Parvati's squeals in the tub.

"Continue." The voice didn't sound like my own.

Bobby backed up against the sink from my closeness and Parvati was fidgeting in my periphery, grabbing a robe.

"Ky…I."

"You what Brown? What? Tell me?"

I pushed Bobby slightly and her back hit the basin. She quickly backed up near the wall. She never did know when to shut her mouth, did she, brave by the distance, she continued,

"I understand your bias, but you must see logic. How could Harry beat the strongest wizard in the world? We all knew…he wanted that cup so badly that he illegally entered…"

"Lavender stop!"

"-when did the rules ever matter to him? Cedric was just in his wa-"

She didn't finish her sentence as I slammed her against the wall with my bare hands, all thoughts of magic forgotten.

"Ky!"

I ignored Parvati, only seeing red as I grabbed Bobby by the scruff of her shirt and held her against the wall, my face right in hers,

"First things first Brown. My grandfather is the strongest wizard in the world, even to little fucked up bitches like yourself. Secondly, say one more thing about Harry having to do something about…about Harry killing someone, you won't have to give a flying fuck about whether Voldemort is back or not because I will be the one that will hunt you down and snap your little neck. And thirdly-"

"Ky." That voice made me let go of her shirt as if it burned, the red disappearing. I turned quickly, seeing Mi hovering in the doorway, her mouth and eyes gaping in shock. I took a deep breath…and walked towards her, wanting to explain, but I was stopped as I felt something hard hit my head.

I turned around, but Bobby didn't give me a chance as she grabbed my hair. I tried pushing her off me, but the next second, my foot slipped on the water Parvati had splashed on the floor when she got out. I felt the splash, and for a second, I was submerged in water, Bobby's hands were still wrapped in my hair. Was she drowning me? I tried pushing up but couldn't, my legs which were still out of the bath were flailing. The weight lifted and I broke the surface quickly, gulping for air.

"Oh Godric! Oh Godric! I didn't mean to; I was trying to get out and I didn't realise I was pushing her in! Ky-"

"FUCK OFF BROWN!"

I lurched out of the bathroom and dashed for the door. I felt a hand grip me and I swatted it away. The second time however it was sturdy.

"JUST WAIT!"

I turned to Mi, her face pale, and her hair wet, she must have been the one that pulled Bobby off.

"Mi-"

"Don't! Just don't speak! I don't care what you do, and I don't care who you go to to do it, but you will sort your shit out! You cannot treat people like this!" She gestured to the bathroom door, where Lavender and Parvati's voices floated out from, "And you can't treat Umbridge like that either! She is a teacher! Yes, she is infuriating, but at the same time she did nothing to provoke you this morning when you acted like the worse kind of delinquent with her!"

Her face was moving to red, and my heart pained to see that look of disappointment in her eyes.

Mi was a constant, wasn't she? She was a constant…then why did she feel like a variable now.

My heart throbbed and my stomach ached with the pain…I turned and fled. Tired of seeing that look, the same look that Sev had, the same one that he had…when I saw him in boggart form. I exited the portrait and knew exactly where I was heading.

I raced down the stairs…I'll kill him.

I will kill him.

A/N: I had to think of a new punishment for Ky, Umbridge seems the type to tailor make her torture. What do you think of it – sadistic enough?

Kalina