Disclaimer: Anything that rings a bell is JK Rowling's

Chapter 23: To be a bystander in this breakdown.

Hermione's POV

I watched as Harry walked casually to the breakfast table. Well, it would appear to be casual to anyone else, I saw his eyes brim with determination and his shoulders hold steady, as if he was having a hard time even keeping them up. I held the table tightly, as I watched Ky turn and walk away from him, squeezing tighter at the forlorn look on her face. I bit my lip and Harry sat down next to me, deep in conversation with Ron. Our gaze met for a second and he looked away quickly, reminding me of last night.

After Ky had stormed away, I collapsed onto my bed, hoping for sleep to take me as a prisoner and prevent me from running after her. I held on for fifteen fruitless minutes, until I flung the sheets off me, and flew down the stairs, regret churning in my stomach…it stopped when I reached the common room, however.

I had seen Harry when he was plagued by invisible monsters that ran rampage in school, when he was accused of aiding said monster, when he raged about unknown godfathers that turned traitor against his parents, when he came back from duels with Dark Lords, but today was the first time I had ever seen Harry like this.

He hovered in the doorway, as if a hundred dementors had attacked him again.

Worried, I flitted to him, he looked at me unseeing. "Is everything OK? What happened? Should I call-"

I stopped when he looked at me, somehow knowing this wasn't a Voldemort related problem. He walked to an armchair and sat down. I suddenly realised that we were up for the same reason, or at least the same person.

He sat quietly for a few minutes, and for once I held my tongue. Ron told me that he knew about Harry and Ky on the train ride to Hogwarts, and we both decided that the best course of action was to stay out of it. Whatever 'it' was. I don't even think Harry or Ky knew. Harry looked up at me, and my heart ached,

"I don't understand."

The angry teenager disappearing, replaced by the familiar face of my brother.

The boy that turned to me whenever life stumped him somehow, my heart pained again for him and I quickly sat down, for once not knowing what to say to him. He shook his head, "It's like…nothing hurts when…"He didn't have to continue, I saw the look on Ky's face myself after they had kissed. For two souls that were often driven into pain, for something to not hurt was a bliss much more than passion could ever accomplish. "Yet she doesn't want me."

He looked down at the last part. The words fell out of my mouth before I could stop myself, "That's not true."

Shite. This was not staying of it. I bit my lip as he looked up at me, the slightest glimpse of hope in his eyes. "Did she say that she did?"

I opened my mouth, and then closed it again. I shook my head in the negative, not having the heart to say the words. He hung his head again and I bit my cheek. Well, she didn't say it out loud, but I could tell she had feelings for him. She always did. She was just confused…I think. I think it was the Cho factor, she always felt like Harry had feelings for her. Well, he had, but I think they long since passed. I ignored Ron's voice telling me to keep out of it,

"You know…if you told her-"

"I did." He still didn't look up, concentrating on the carpet as if it told the future.

It obviously didn't work out the way he expected. What did Ky do? And why did she do it? I wiped at my face, not realising that I had started crying. Harry looked up at me, utterly confused at my sniffling. I tried to stop, embarrassed.

"What's wrong?"

I couldn't explain it to him, not after she had left him in this state. I couldn't explain how worried I was about her. Yes, she seemed fine. She was an exceptionally good actress, but nobody saw her the way I did. Risking her and Agnes' life just to be part of the action may seem just like a Ky move…but it wasn't. She didn't put other people at risk with her dares. Plus, all summer she alienated herself in sly ways, choosing to work in the potion's lab at Grimauld place away from us. Even at nights she wouldn't come to bed. And then there are all these altercations. To attack a person the way she did Bellamy was not in her nature, not to that extreme. And Umbridge wasn't a saint, but she barely said a word before Ky chose to degrade her. And then there was Lavender…what was she going to do to Lavender…I knew where all the problems stemmed from. It had to come from the same place…but she wouldn't talk! I try so hard, but not a word comes out does it! She's like a vault.

Harry stood and put his arms around me, "You mustn't feel as if you have to take sides."

Where was this Harry all this time? This Harry that did not scream, this Harry that I wasn't afraid of,

"It's not that. I don't know what to do…"

The thought scared me more than anything. I had no idea how to fix Ky when she was so resolutely determined to stay broken.

"I advise you to do the same thing I am going to. Do nothing." He walked to the door to the boy's dorm, leaving me sitting there pondering whether there was method to that madness…can Hermione Granger do nothing. Can Harry Potter?

Looks like he can. He seemed perfectly normal now. I stuck by the decision I had made as well, welding myself to my seat with sheer will power, preventing me from running after her. Ky needed to sort herself out…I can't…I just can't watch her self-implode.

Not a second longer.

-x-x-x-

I scratched out the sentence, pricking my ears for footsteps. I waited, but there was no creaking door. Had she decided to sleep away from the dorm again? What was Umbridge doing for her detention? I wanted to ask her all day today…but my restraint wasn't tested. Ky was scarce. She was present…but not really. She was different…she never spoke in class and did her work in silence. She never made a comment about Luna's forthright testament to following Harry, nor Ernie Macmillan's. What was Harry doing for detention? He too was evasive when questioned.

I quickly pushed my curtains aside as she walked through the door. She headed for her bed and then turned and looked at me, she smiled. It wasn't forced or fake in any way. It was sincere and foreign.

"Goodnight, Mi."

She disappeared behind her curtains, my head still hovering through mines, trying to process what I saw.

-x-x-x-

I waited outside her lab. Today had been breaking point. Yesterday could have been a once off thing. Our schedule was good, no Umbridge…but still. Ky was perfectly normal. No, not Ky normal. Normal normal. She never spoke out of turn, she didn't even laugh at Dean's impersonation of Umbridge, breasts and all. This was worrying, something was definitely up. I can't do 'nothing'. What was I thinking?

I grew tired of waiting and entered. Maybe she had finished detention early. I now knew Umbridge had Harry writing lines; maybe she was doing the same. The room was empty though. I exited; baffled as to her whereabouts…I didn't have to look far though.

I watched as she exited her bedroom, that same blank look on her face. I walked forward, but then stopped, what was I going to say? This is just another rebellious act. She knows full well she isn't allowed in her room during term. I watched her walk away, proud at my self-control at not bombarding her with questions. I made to follow and then stopped.

"Miss Granger, out past curfew. Ten points from Gryffindor."

I turned to the oily haired man that scared me more than I let on, "I am a prefect Professor Snape."

He didn't even bother with a response as he skulked away.

-x-x-x-

Today is the day. If she continues as she had been doing for the previous days, I'll confront her. No…no that would be of no use. I tried that already. I'll owl Linus… or visit Dumbledore. It was strange that he had not seen her as yet; I don't think they met for their usual weekly cocoa…maybe that affected her as well.

I watched as she walked down the table and sat next to Ron, across me and Harry. She greeted us, Ron the only one returning it with any sort of effort. Harry clumsily dropped milk all down his front; I shook my head, why was he even trying to use his left hand to eat? A shadow fell over the table and for the first time in three days Ky made any sort of action. She looked mildly surprised. I watched as a Hufflepuff seventh year, who I think was named Jack Corner walked passed in a rage and plopped into a stool.

"Fifty points from Gryffindor, Miss Thornton. You know the rules full well." Snape spoke quietly from behind Ky, but he didn't have to. People didn't sit too close to us these days, what with Harry and Ky behaving like time bombs. "And if I find evidence of another boy in your room, I'll do more than give him a month's worth of detention and destroy all evidence of his presence, no matter how special he may find his quidditch jersey to be."

Her hand stopped on its way to her mouth at that, her whole stance changing from lazy listening to attentive alertness. The spoon clanged loudly as it fell into her bowl and the milk splashed all over her face. The next second, I had my head in my arm, ducking from the shattered glass that exploded from the jar of juice.

"Ky…what the-"

Ron didn't get to finish his sentence as she stood in an instant, her own face and arms dripping with specks of blood from where the tiny shards of glass had hit her unguarded body.

Ky turned on her heel and ran; I got up and pushed past a gaping Snape, for once not sparing a thought of what the teachers thought of me, all thoughts of doing nothing gone out the window at the look of complete devastation etched on my best friend's face.

A/N: What do you think of Hermione's perspective on things? I quite enjoy writing from her POV.

Kalina