Disclaimer: Anything that rings a bell is JK Rowling's

Chapter 54: Of boob jobs and b-words

"…any student found to have formed, or to belong to, an Organisation, Society, Team, Group or club that has not been approved by the High inquisitor will be expelled." Dumbitch stopped reciting her smug-voiced drivel. She smiled at Nonno, "So you see headmaster, I am well in my right to expel Miss Thornton."

I glowered at her from my usual seat opposite Nonno, his face was unreadable and rested on his interlaced fingers.

"Dolores, would you kindly recite the beginning of your decree again?" I looked at Minnie, who was seated next to me. She had already been in a meeting with Nonno when Dumbitch barged in pissing with glee five minutes ago.

"With pleasure, Minerva." She smiled at Minnie, and I think it was a real one, who would have thought her face could get uglier. "All student organisations, societies, teams, groups and clubs are henceforth disbanded. An organisation, society, team, group, or club is hereby defined as a regular meeting of three or mo-"

"That's enough, Dolores. I happen to know that Miss Thornton and the other young ladies have never met prior to this. Therefore, they are in no breach as it was not a regular meeting."

"And how are you so sure that this was a single occurrence, Minerva."

"That is as I organised the meeting." I quickly gulped down my gasp of surprise. Where on earth was Minnie going with this?

"You?" Umbitch lost her smug look in exchange for one of disdain.

"Yes. You see, Miss Thornton had an idea for a club, and I signed off on the initial meeting as a sort of taster session. If all went well in this meeting, I was to bring it to your attention to seek permission in forming this club."

"Is that so?" Dumbitch turned her beady eyes on me, and I nodded, not finding it at all hard to lie to the atrocious woman. "And what is this idea you had?"

Before I could open my mouth Minnie cut in, "Cheerleading."

For once Dumbitch and I had matching expressions, "Cheerleading?"

"Yes Dolores. It's actually considered a sport in the muggle world. A group of young ladies get-"

"I know what cheerleading is, Headmaster. I just find it hard to believe that Miss Thornton is interested in that."

She turned to me, and I straightened up in my chair, recovering from the shock. "Why not? It has everything I love. Pom poms…and skirts…and high kicks. Go cheerleading." I tossed my fists in the air as emphasis. Umbridge's face slowly resembled a tomato. A very squashed, very ugly tomato.

"Well, there, Dolores. Now, will you do us a favour and sign off on this."

"Well actually Minerva. No, I cannot."

I sighed inwardly. Thank heavens, I'm not expelled, I'm not even getting detention. Let's all just call it a night.

"May you favour us with an explanation as to why not?" I stared wide eyed at Nonno. What was he doing?

"I can't sign off on a club that so openly excludes a house. There are no members that represent the Slytherin house."

That's a good girl, Dolores.

"But that is what is so endearing about this endeavour. It promotes house bonding." I glared at Minnie in my head, what the heck with the house bonding! "The cheerleaders don't support a certain house. They are Hogwarts cheerleaders. Depending on the match, half the girls will support one team and the other half the opposing team. They shouldn't have their dreams squashed just because the Slytherin girls are uncooperative."

"What about a coach? I doubtyoucould teach them, Minerva." Really? Was the ugliest person on the planet mocking Minnie for her age?

"Actually, I have the perfect person who would love to volunteer as a coach. Well, it seems all the I's are dotted, so what do you say Dolores?"

Nonno's blue eyes were twinkling at Dumbitch, whose eyes may have been glowing red at having been thwarted again. She turned on her heel and stomped off.

"We'll take that as a yes then."

I rounded on Minnie, "Cheerleading!"

"Wipe that look off your face, Bane. You should be kissing my robes in gratitude at having saved you from something that could have caused your expulsion. Just what on earth were you thinking! You know that Dolores would like nothing more than to see you leave this school, why are you making it so easy for her!"

"I didn't plan on so many girls showing up, I only invited Bobby."

"Invited Miss Brown to do what?" I made a side long glance at Nonno who was busying himself with petting Fawkes, apparently paying no attention to the conversation. Yeah right.

"To join me for a jog. She's being…stupid! So stupid Zia Minnie! I couldn't talk any sense to her at all! She thinks she's fat or something! So, I was tired of her moaning so I invited her for a jog so she can shut up about getting fat. But then she told Parvati who told her sister who told her best friend who told her sister and the Puff girls found out. It was supposed to be just one time, I completely forgot about that stupid decree."

Minnie had a strange look on her face, "So…you're teaching those girls how to…jog?"

"Not just jog. I had them doing lots of exercises. Honestly, I wanted to tire them out so they wouldn't bug me again…but turns out they are suckers for punishment. They want me to teach them… 'Kick ass' defence moves. Did you know Angelique Morian said that? Kick ass. I heard her speak twice today."

"That's amazing Bane, she usually never speaks because of her speech impediment." There was that strange look on Minnie's face again. I backed up to my original thought.

"I can't be on a cheerleading squad! I hate cheerleading."

"Well, I'm no fan of it either, but it's the only thing I could think of what with all the students that were present being female, and you look to be in some sort of exercise gear. But you would have to do it now that Dolores is signing off on it." Minnie leaned in closer, "Did you see her face?"

I giggled and moved in closer, "I know right. She was two seconds from hopefully having a heart attack." I stopped giggling and groaned, "Don't distract me with the happy prospect of torturing Umbridge. I can't be the captain of a cheerleading squad!"

"Well if I may make a suggestion." I looked at Nonno, it had been a while since we spoke, our last meeting not ending on a good note. "Your practice sessions need not entail cheerleading activities. You can continue training the young ladies in whatever you want. As long as you're there to cheer on your teams in the matches. I don't think coordinated dancing and such is necessary. I do think helping your classmates is though. So, if you want out, I will go to Dolores and tell her so. But if you want to continue aiding your peers and helping people like Miss Morian come out of their shell, then you could do that."

Oh wow, is that even two options. The first one I back out and Umbitch gets her way. If I don't choose the second one, I turn out looking like a complete monster as Nonno threw in that remark about Angelique. And Umbitch has to deal with the fact that I thwarted her once again.

I felt a hand on my own and I looked at Minnie, "I think this is good for you."

"For me?" I raised one quizzical eyebrow.

"I know…I know you don't want to talk about what happened last year. But…maybe by helping empower these girls, make them strong just like you Bane…especially with the times ahead of us…maybe this would help more than Miss Morian's stutter."

I looked at Minnie, at the pain in her face when talking about what happened last year. I remembered the look on Harry's face when he tried talking about Bastian Blishwick…the pain and the fury. The times ahead…soon Voldemort would come out. There would be more Blishwicks by the dozen, running freely about; Harry was teaching everyone how to be strong magically. But what's the use of knowing the spells if you didn't have the confidence to use it, and sometimes a well-placed kick or punch is so unsuspecting it might save a life. Not to mention how much it would help with reflexes…I never want anyone to feel useless like I did when Blishwick had attacked me.

I nodded my head emphatically, still seeing the look on Blishwick's face when I had kicked him off his feet and the way he had screamed about filthy muggle tricks.

I smiled at that, let the filthy muggle tricks flow far and wide.

-x-x-x-

"Ky!" I turned around to see Neville running up to me.

"Hey Nev. How's the Mimbulus Mimbletonia doing?"

"Really good, should be ripe for pus collection any day now, so I'll let you know when. Er…do you know where Harry is?"

"He's in occ…occupied at the moment. Remedial potions." I almost forgot that nobody knew Harry was studying occlumency. Or at least, trying to study it. I observed Neville's face, "Anything I could help you with?"

"No, it's OK. I'll wait for Harry; I don't want to bother you."

"Nev, all that's waiting for me is a long Arithmancy essay, it won't be a bother." I leaned against the wall near the library, "Shoot."

He ducked his head down, Neville was shy, but I thought he felt a lot more comfortable around me than he did most girls.

"Well…err…I was wondering about the next Hogsmeade trip, if you'd go with me." He mumbled the last part, but I think my hearing was good enough to discern what he said correctly.

"What?"

He quickly looked up, apparently processing what he had just said, "Oh Godric that came out wrong. I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to say that! I didn't mean to say that at all! Godric, I'm so sorry."

I grabbed his shoulders, afraid he might just fall onto his knees begging for forgiveness, "It's OK Nev. So, what did you mean to say?"

"I want…" He took a deep calming breath, "I wanted to know if you and Harry would mind coming to Hogsmeade with me. The next trip."

I looked at him quizzically, "Sure…we won't mind at all. It should be fun."

He banged his forehead with the palm of his hand, "I've said it all wrong again. Date. Double date."

"Ohhh…you want us to go on a double date?"

"Well…I'd really appreciate it. I don't know if you know…but I'm kind of shy when it comes to the ladies, so I think I won't be such a huge dork if you guys are around as well."

"Now you listen here Neville Longbottom, you're no dork. So don't say stuff like that or I'll punch you in the face. You want to get hit by a girl? I didn't think so. I'll have to speak to the wife but I'm sure he'll have no problem with it. What's the lucky girl's name?"

He was a weird shade of half sick green and blushing red, "Alya. Alya Bellamy." I raised my eyebrows, and he smiled wide, "I know right? You don't want to believe it; I can't even believe it. Nobody would believe it. I probably should just call the wh-"

"Woah Nev, back the truck up. Look, I'm not surprised because I think that she's better than you or something. Helga no, you can get any girl you want. I just didn't even know you knew her, that's all."

"It's actually thanks to you we met Ky. At that Hogwarts Xpress meeting. You paired her up with me for the interview. And then she sat next to me in Herbology the next day, and she just started talking. She's really nice and her favourite subject is Herbology too, and she helped me a few times with the Mimbletonia, and I know she's like from another planet in terms of how good-looking she is and I would never have asked her out but then she kept bringing up the trip. Of course, I still didn't have the guts to actually ask her. I wrote her a letter asking her on a double date. I just can't do it on my own Ky, gosh I can barely string two words together when she's around. I have no idea what she sees in me, I'm such an idiot."

"Nev…I really don't want to hit you. You've been warned." I pulled him to a bench a few feet away and sat down, "Look. You are a proper catch. There are not many boys as lovely as you are. So, stop being so god awfully nervous! The hard part is done; she said yes! She did say yes, right?" He nodded fervently, "See, now you just have to wine and dine her and she'll be head over heels in a heartbeat."

"Oh, I hope so. I was moments away from going to Madam Pomfrey. I feel like I'm close to a having a heart attack, and when she's around…I can't breathe. She's so pretty and sweet and I have no idea what on earth she sees in me. What if this is all just one big hallucination and all these symptoms are the side effects…that does make the most sense! She can't possibly like…me? "

"Well, she does. And a smart girl she is too. So, stop with the fretting. Everything is going to be fine."

"I hope so. Will you ask Harry?"

"Sure, I will, but I'm sure that's unnecessary. We'd love to come." He looked close to hugging me, but I think that the action might cause his already jumpy system to shut down completely. I was two seconds away from silencing him with his fervent thank you's, but luckily, we reached the library again. It didn't take me long to find Mi and start with that Arithmancy essay from hell.

-x-x-x-

"You do know it's Valentine's Day?"

"What?" I threw my stuff in the bag and followed Harry out of transfiguration; I caught Minnie smiling at us out of the corner of my eye.

"The next Hogsmeade trip."

"The one with the big blue eyes and porcelain skin. Rosy red cheeks. The one you flung halfway across the great hall start of term."

I growled at Ron, "Nobody will forget that, would they!"

"Ronald, I think it makes perfect sense that she would like Neville!" Mi whispered at Ron in chiding.

"Why? Because Ky flung her so hard, she hit her head and addled her brain for life."

"Ron!" Mi and I screamed at him. He shrugged and Mi carried on berating him, I turned back to Harry, "Did you have plans? I didn't think it was a problem…"

"No, no you're right to have agreed. We should help Neville. It's just that…we haven't spent alone time since…forever. I thought maybe next Saturday would finally be a chance."

"I know we haven't." I bumped him playfully with my hip and slung an arm around his waist, "How about this. We'll celebrate just us on Saturday night. But for now…let's sneak out some food and head up to our revolving tower…"

Harry smiled down at me at the prospect.

"Twenty points from Gryffindor. Each." I rolled my eyes at the familiar voice but turned around with a smile, nevertheless. I always had a soft spot for Sev, and he always had a soft spot for deducting house points for public displays of affection.

"Sensei! Dining with the commoners today, are you?"

He looked distastefully into the great hall behind me; I knew he liked to dine in his quarters whenever he could on the weekdays.

"Your grandfather wishes to see you at a quarter to seven. In his office. Do not be late." And with that he turned on his heel and walked away.

"You know, sometimes the happiest moments in my life are when that man ignores me completely."

I laughed at Harry, occlumency lessons were not going well at all. We ate dinner and I made my way up to Nonno.

"Errr…Miss Thornton?"

I turned around at the timid voice and my face broke into a surprised grin. I walked back down the first-floor stairs, "Liam! I've told you a hundred times, call me Ky. I mean, you've seen my boobs."

He blushed furiously and ducked his head, "And I cannot apologise enough for the-"

"Liam, forget it." After everything that happened, him attempting to take pictures of my breasts was easily forgivable. I was happy to see him around school and he seemed back to normal, "So what's up?"

"Oh…er…nothing. I was just, I just saw you and I thought I should say hello. I didn't mean to disturb you."

"No, it's cool. So, how's everything going?" I think he would know what I meant without spelling it out.

"Oh, everything is fine. Nobody is bothering me, I think that has a lot to do with Draco, he has been really good. But don't let him find out I told you that, you know him and his image. Seriously, please don't tell him, I shouldn't have said anything at all."

I chuckled at the fearful look on his face, I wouldn't tell Malfoy anything anyway because we barely spoke of late considering he was being a complete idiot. "It's OK Liam."

He heaved a sigh and an awkward silence descended on us. If he just came over to say hello…wouldn't he have left. "Is everything OK Liam?"

"Huh?" He looked at me straight faced for a second and then broke out into a very forced smile, "Oh yeah. Just been a long day. Anyway, I better be of…have a good night, Miss Th…Ky."

He turned and walked off quickly. Should I follow him? Or maybe I'm just being paranoid considering our history, but then we just crossed paths. He didn't come looking for me. Oh crap, why am I getting so paranoid, just relax. Relax. I took a deep breath. "Relax."

"Talking to yourself is the first sign of insanity."

I turned around to the velvet voice. I sighed; it was Mr I can smell things that don't have a scent.

"Well, I can't help what a great conversationalist I am. What are you doing in Hogwarts?"

He smiled, the dimple on his left cheek making an appearance and he ran a hand through his honey-coloured hair. I was reminded again how much it was like Harry's in style. "Meeting with your grandfather. I suspect you're heading there right now?"

"I am, but I don't need an escort."

He laughed and walked down the stairs, "I wasn't offering. I was just leaving anyway. Have a goodnight, Miss Imposter."

I rolled my eyes and walked on ahead. There was something so utterly patronizing about him, but at the same time juvenile. I knocked on the door and pushed it open.

"Linus!"

All thoughts of annoying man children flew out of my head as I hugged my brother. He kissed me on my forehead and placed me back on my feet, "Good to see you too Kid. How are you doing?"

I rubbed my hand against his new rugged look, he usually shaved daily, he never let it grow out. "I'm OK but I see Nessie has already done a number on you, she told you about her crush on Hugh Jackman, trying to up the testosterone factor."

"Hey, I told you that in private." My sister-in-law walked forward; her face stretched into a wide grin. Without even looking back, Linus' hands found hers, I shook my head. If I didn't feel so bad that they couldn't go on a honeymoon, I would have given them hell for their sop fest.

I had a feeling I had the same smile on my face that Nonno had whilst watching them, and quickly dropped it.

"Well, I better be off, I'll leave you ladies to it. I'll see you at eight babe."

"Leave us to what?" I looked from Linus who just pecked Nessie on her cheek, to Nonno. But it was the blonde that answered with a breathy chuckle,

"Cheerleading practice of course, it is Wednesday."

I groaned aloud and sulked at Nonno, "I thought we could do that next Wednesday. Or the one after that…"

He shook his head with a smile, "I'm afraid not Kyrianna. I know you too well for that, you my darling, are the princess of procrastination."

"Well don't you worry Professor; I'll make her the princess of promptness in no time. See you at eight gentlemen." And with that Nessie pulled me out of the room.

"You do know this is just a cover up. It isn't really cheerleading."

Nessie stopped staring at the yin yang kitten portrait and turned to me, "Of course I do. But the Professor needed to hire a coach to help with the façade, not that I see what the problem is with cheerleading. It teaches immense discipline, teamwork and stamina."

"Yes, it must take discipline to stick to that diet, teamwork to bully the nerdy girl with glasses and stamina to do a keg stand."

"OH!" Nessie gawked at me, "Is Miss I don't stereotype, judging people."

I laughed at the expression on her face, "OK, OK I guess…I am. BUT. But you can't say those things are unjustified."

"Well maybe for some, but not for all!" Her retort was cut off by her distraction with the passage we were walking down, "I just can't get over how beautiful this place is."

I watched as she observed Sir Kensington chase Lady Drakefield around the table, as the other party guests in the portrait laughed into their champagne glasses. I suddenly remembered the last time she was here she fell six floors. We still hadn't found out if she was imperiused or not, but after speaking with Harry, Ron, and Mi, we were leaning towards not.

"Hey, how do you see all of this? When I ran here the first time you could only see a haunted house or something."

"Yeah, I probably would if I was on the outside now, but Linus said it's just a visual trick. Once you get passed the barrier, all is clear. Of course, normal muggles don't just get past that easily, there are a lot of charms."

"Agnes!"

We had just reached the entrance hall and Ron, Mi and Harry walked out of the Great Hall. I could see a few heads still lagging behind, eating dinner, but most people were already finished.

"Mrs Thornton!" Harry nodded and smiled at Nessie.

"Mr Potter, congratulations. Dating the captain of the cheerleading squad! Check you out." She high-fived Harry who smirked back at her.

"Yeah…I do alright." He added a wink and I growled at him, "What is it sweetheart, is winking so, like, yesterday?"

"Oh, do go on Harry and you will be so, like, yesterday."

He grinned and kissed my forehead, while Mi ran ahead to fetch the rest of the girls. "I'll walk you ladies down to the pitch." I opened my mouth, and he stopped me quickly, "Not that you need it. I need it. I miss you and I need to be in your company."

Nessie was on a cuteness overload I think she might just faint. I scowled at him but he just grinned. He offered Nessie his arm and I followed behind them.

"How's Snuffles doing?"

"Oh, you know Snuffles, moping and groaning one moment, then singing and laughing the next."

"How's his little bitch doing?" They both turned and looked at me in shock as I smiled to myself, "What? It's funny. Because she's a werewolf. A Canine. A female canine. He's a dog…seriously you guys don't see the humour in that, then I don't know."

Harry sighed and slowed down his pace, "I don't get why you don't like Kat. She seems perfectly pleasant."

"Oh yeah, I'm sure it's her pleasantness that you find so perfect." His emerald eyes somersaulted in the dark and Nessie laughed adding.

"I admit, she is quite forthright, but I think it's charming. She reminds me a little of you."

"What!" I stopped walking and glared at her; I was nothing like that courtesan! "I do not parade myself nude for the world to see!"

"Oh, I didn't mean it like that Ky! Anyway, I think her whole…ease with nudity stems from the fact that she is a werewolf and I'm sure there's a certain amount of time spent without the bounds of clothes that afforded her that comfort. I feel really bad for her; it must be twice as hard being a female werewolf."

I shrugged, "I guess. I mean she has two 'that times of the month'. But still, there's something not right with that woman."

"You thought there was something not right with me and you realised you were wrong."

"No, I still think there's something not right with you, it's just that I now embrace the crazy." We stopped in the middle of the pitch and Ness took in her surroundings.

"Do you really fly around on broomsticks in this stadium?"

The smile left Harry's face, "I used to." I could rip Umbitch to shreds for the look that graced his face now. I slipped my fingers into his and he shook the sadness from his face, "Well, I see your soldiers approaching. I'll see you later." He nodded at Ness and winked at me.

"You sure you don't need me to escort you back?"

He turned his crooked grin on me as he walked away and shouted, "Don't tempt me; I might never let you return."

I smiled and watched him walk away as the girls got closer, "Oh shut it."

"I didn't say a thing."

"Your face is screaming though."

"Oh, it's just, I'm so happy for you Ky. Can you believe you're dating! You! And Harry…oh he's amazing. And you guys are so cu-"

"Don't say the c-word. He faced Voldemort four times and lived to tell the tale and I am some kind of psychic powerhouse…we are not the c-word."

"Oh honey, you still haven't stop smiling and he has a bounce in his step, fight it all you want but you guys are so the c-word."

I scowled at her and then shook my head and muttered, "C-word…if anything we're the B-word."

"Beautiful."

"No woman! Badass! Just speak to your students."

-x-x-x-

"It's really important to do this cool down. It gives your body time to adjust to the change of pace," Nessie slowly bent forward again and we followed, "and to take back some of the stuff lost during the work out."

"Like Jules dignity."

Juliette glowered at her best friend as she straightened up, "Oh titter all you want Pad's, we'll see whose massaging your butt cramps tomorrow." She still had remnants of blood on her face when she had fallen over whilst trying to execute a handstand, which she was adamant she could do but resulted with her face in the floor and bum in the air.

All in all, it was a very productive workout and everyone took to Nessie instantly.

"So, you don't use anything on your skin? At all?" Parvati and Bobby looked at each other in shock and Ness blushed.

"Well, I moisturise, but none of those potions you were asking about…are you sure you girls should be using so much stuff on your face? Your skin is so smooth; believe me you don't want to damage it."

Padma nodded, "I keep telling you that Parv, did you see Parkinson's face, she has holes!"

"I personally think her acidic nature is seeping into her skin. I'm shocked Malfoy even leaves with his manhood intact considering how venomous she is, she could melt steel."

We all laughed at Bobby's statement, and I watched as Nessie walked towards the stands, deep in conversation with Angelique. Mi pulled me down to sit next to her and she leaned her head on my lap, "You're getting too comfy, we're leaving in a bit."

"If I move an inch, I'll faint. Who would have that Agnes was the Mussolini to your Hitler."

"So have you guys?" We looked up to find the rest of the girls sitting around us, waiting expectantly. They had been talking but I hadn't been paying attention.

"Have we what?" Mi asked, straightening up.

"Done it." Padma informed us with a small smile.

"And be honest Ky." Parvati threw in.

"When have I ever lied to you?" I laughed and then shrugged, "Nope, we haven't."

"Told you." Bobby turned to Juliette, and she shrugged and I narrowed my eyes at her.

"You thought I shagged Harry."

"No. I know you and Potter haven't shagged yet, it's Hermione I thought did the shagging."

"What!"

"Well, it is always the quiet one's!"

I laughed at the look on Mi's face, "I'll have you know that I am neither 'quiet' nor 'wanton.'"

"Hey, hey, just because you had sex does not make you wanton."

Bobby laughed at Susan's defensive remark, "Seems like Miss Bones is hiding a few skeletons in her closet."

"What? No…I…" She looked helplessly at Bobby.

"Susan hasn't done it before. It's me." I raised my eyebrows at Hannah, "Ernie and I have been dating for three years…and…well…"

"The next thing we'll hear is Bellamy is a nymph with a BDSM fetish." The group laughed at my joke and Alya Bellamy joined them.

"No such luck. I unfortunately fit my stereotype perfectly."

"Well, here we were hoping for some French expertise." Mi smiled at Bellamy.

"Or maybe someone would like to share a little Bulgarian expertise. Oh, go on Hermione.

Mi flushed red at Parvati and at the tables being turned on her. She looked to me and I shrugged, "Well…I don't know. Viktor…was an exceptionally good kisser."

"Well, you could do worse than an international quidditch player as your first kiss." Juliette grumbled, "My first kiss was Seamus and he practically spat in my mouth!"

"I'd take spit, Justin sneezed in my face. And then proceeded to wipe my face with his snot drenched hanky. Well, it's me own fault for pursuing him during the flu season." I laughed at Susan; I had no idea she dated Justin with the three names.

"At least you guys left unharmed, Dean managed to hit me in the nose with his abnormally large head."

"Well at least he just hit your nose Lav." Parvati wiped her eyes, wet with laughter, "He stabbed me in the eye with his finger!"

Mi and I sat there for a while, learning more about our classmates in those few minutes than we did in all the years we've known them put together.

Perhaps this wasn't a terrible idea after all.

A/N: So, what do you guys think about Hogwarts having cheerleaders? And Ky being captain! I know it's a bit random but I thought it would be fun to get to know the other house members a bit better!

Drop a review on the way out if you can!

Kalina