Disclaimer: Anything that rings a bell is J.K Rowling's

Chapter 83: Of Two Worlds

I flicked my wrist and watched as the thin twig transformed into a small, sharp, simple silver dagger. I handed it to Sabre.

"I will not command your death, neither will I command your survival. I will never command anything of you. But before you do anything, I want you to consider these things. Firstly, it had been a hundred and twenty years since you had a vision, and somehow it was of me, that cannot be coincidence. You did not have to save Harry's life today, yet you did, that cannot be chance. You take that dagger to your heart, you do so in cowardice. You may not have wished to murder your wife but you did, and if you honestly think that she would welcome you with open arms on the other side, knowing that you could have stayed, you could have helped, then do it. If you feel killing yourself would give you the ability to look her in the eye in the afterlife, then do it. But don't expect me to command it of you, not only because it is a selfish request that I am not capable of fulfilling, but because I refuse to treat you as a servant. I have no need for them. I do need friends. I lost one today and I cannot express to you in words what it would mean to have him back, so don't expect me to stand here and watch you throw life away, when there are so many who would have grasped at it till their last breath left them. A hundred and twenty years is a long time to live in agony, it seems a shame to exchange it for an eternity of regret. Of course, this is implying that you believe there is some sort of afterlife, and somehow I believe you do…you pretend that you wish death to repent for your mistakes, but you just want to see your wife again…depending on what you do next will decide if the feeling is mutual on her part."

I turned away, not wanting to stare at those bottomless amber orbs a second more, crossing the grounds as quickly as I could, each step closer and closer to the place I longed for and further and further from the last place I wanted to be, afraid at what I might have to witness.

I reached Len and grabbed his elbow and with the twist of his cloak we were gone…back home, to Hogwarts and to Harry.

-x-x-x-

I ran up the stairs, an unexplained excitement pushing me to skipping steps. I pushed the door open without bothering to knock…whatever had me so excited a few minutes ago was swept from my mind with ease as I stared at the bed of dark hair and the calculating green eyes as she yawned against the starch white pillow at her back. Her green eyes caught mine and my heart cringed as she poked the side of the bed.

"Sirius, there is a child here for you."

I bounded forward as she said it, jumping onto the bed and wrapping my hands around her neck. I watched out of the corner of my eye as Sirius shot up with a start, pulling me off her but I wouldn't let her go, my fingers going red at the strength I was exhibiting but the action just made her smile get louder, not a scent of remorse in her, not a sign of suffering. My hands suddenly clutched at the air as I was wrenched off her and I fell to the floor.

Sirius rushed forward, worry on his face, hovering over me in concern, his grey eyes wide and his lips moving so quickly but his words were marred with static. He reached down and grabbed my hand, ready to pull me up but just before he made contact, he blurted out a gurgle of shocking scarlet and fell forward, across me.

I looked up to see the older version of Alya standing above us both, cackling with laughter, the large silver dagger in her loose grip now leaking blood onto his plush red bedroom carpet and the scream never found me as I felt his body get heavier and heavier and her laughter, louder and louder.

I pushed at his shoulders, ready to attack Bellatrix Lestrange and when I finally pushed him off me I found myself looking at empty Amber eyes, the honey hair sticking at his forehead, chest unmoving yet stained scarlet, just like my hands…my hands that held the long silver blood stained dagger which I let go of as is if I was burned by it and stared in shock at the lifeless body, my heart on hold at what I had done, the only feeling processed was the sound of my sobs that filled the room getting louder and louder, just as loud as Lestrange's laugh and Kat's smile.

I felt something warm at my right shoulder and I looked down, seeing the scarlet droplets spread across my shirt…

I gasped and my eyes flew open, shoving at the heaviness of the dead body that pinned me to the floor.

"Sh…Sh…." Hands pushed my own back down and I immediately stopped resisting, relaxing back into the heaviness at the familiar touch and the hard chest that I thought was a floor. I could feel his chest at the back of my head, his arms around my waist, his hands at my tummy, his legs around my own…his heart at my ear.

It was a dream…just a dream…yet one thing remained. The warmth at my shoulder. I looked down to see the large damp patch on my right sleeve, but it wasn't blood…it was worse…so much worse.

Suddenly as if the sight of Harry's tears on my shoulder triggered the supply of my own, the folds of the emotions completely fell away and I clutched at his hands, pulling my legs up and burying my face into my own knees as the tears came rolling down as life attacked me with its poisoned blade of reality.

The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches…

Born to those who thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies…

And the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not…

And either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives…

The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies….

The words he had recited to me hours ago echoed painfully in my mind…And either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives…

There was complete silence as my sobs filled our Tower, his hands remained around my waist but he never uttered a word of reassurance, and I knew why. To comfort me was to resurrect a topic that was painful enough to discuss just once…and it could barely be called a discussion. He recited the events of last night in a tired monotone, skipping the part about Sirius' death, knowing I must know and not having the strength to say it out loud...yet not two minutes of laying my head against his chest I felt the dampness of his pain on my hair.

I knew no words of comfort for him. I could at least be the shoulder he needed, some form of strength when it evaded him. With that thought my sobbing ceased, shoving the rays of weakness off me and not bothering to wipe my face, knowing the flow had stopped.

I looked up and out of the window of the Revolving Tower, catching the bright blue sky covering us like a large warm blanket, yet its comforting fibres never seemed to reach my skin. There was a coldness that radiated from within me, irrelevant of Harry's warmth that surrounded me, that clung to my body, irrelevant of the warm summer's day that was now upon us…why was it so bright…it insulted everything…

Len had brought me to Hogwarts after I left…after I left the park in Grimauld Place. I sat, waiting for Harry outside Nonno's office, refusing to go to the Hospital Wing…refusing to speak or listen to a word that came out of my brothers' mouths, wanting nothing but to be here, at his side.

Somewhere between dawn and sunrise I was startled awake by the feeling of floating as Harry carried me to our tower as I must have fallen asleep waiting for him. That feeling of floating was quickly changed for one of falling as he told me what Nonno had told him…the prophecy. I thought that would be the last of the painful words I had to hear, as he told me of his night and I told him of mine, but the sniffling at my ear, wetness at my shoulder and his rattling chest at my back as his whole body trembled as he wept shamelessly for the man who was both father and brother to him…

I let him hold me painfully tight, willing and hoping this hurtful cold to leave me, as I awoke for the second time, from that disturbing dream that reeked both of death and evil. He was just as silent as I was, surely lost in thoughts much harder to work his way out of. He never asked what had frightened me awake, and I knew what that meant. He wasn't ready for the answer, he wasn't ready to hear his name off my lips or have to re-live his death again …yet I feel that must be what is going through his mind right now. Over and over again, painfully fresh yet never sinking in any deeper.

"Kinky." My voice cracked as I spoke, as if my throat was still recuperating from the assault of tears. The silence continued, there was no comforting click and my heart beat painfully fast in anticipation.

"Kinky."

With a click, the little house elf appeared, bowing down to me, "Yes Master Potter."

She wasn't bowing to me, but to Harry…Harry who had called on her…Harry who was her master…because the master who had gifted her to me was dead…that sentence cut me deep with its double-edged sword. First at the reinforcement that Sirius was dead and second that Sabre was probably dead too, dead because just like Kinky he lived a life of servitude but unlike Kinky he wanted out. What makes it right to command Kinky with such effortlessness, without an inkling of shame yet my skin crawl at the thought of commanding another human…they're the same…they're the same aren't they?

"Master Potter?"

"I would…can you…please answer when Ky-"

"No." Even if his soft voice rang with awkwardness at having to command something of Kinky, I knew Harry was going to give the same instruction that Sirius had given to Kinky all those months ago, to answer my calling and obey my command, but I didn't want it anymore…

"Has Kinky…" She lowered her little head, eyes planted to the floor, "Has Kinky dones somethings that offends Miss Ky that she's not wanting Kinks anymore."

She was such a smart elf, even the unspoken words she heard. "Of course not. You can never offend me Kinks. And of course I want you, it is you who should not want me."

She raised her head slightly, her hazel eyes shining in confusion, "Kinky is not understanding."

"I called…well I called on you to set you free. I forgot that…well I forget that you're not… mine." I laughed weakly, the sound strange to me, "I guess there is no need for that. You are free of me."

The lightness that I expected to feel at that thought never came. "Are you sure, that is what you want me to do?"

The words were spoken at my ear. I forget that Harry would always try to uphold my wishes. Nonno had convinced him to keep Kreature, but he said nothing of Kinky.

Her body trembled as she raised her head higher and higher, "Kinky is greatly sorry for whatevers it is that as caused Ma…Mas…Mast…" Her large globes filled with tears and I quickly launched forward, kneeling before her.

"No. No, you haven't done anything Kinky. I want you to be free so you can do what you want, be who you want to be, just like your mother wanted of you."

"Is that what Miss Ky wants?"

"Yes."

"And Master Potter?"

"Yes." The word drifted quietly from a few feet behind me.

"OK." She quickly wiped her eyes on her little toga and straightened to her full height. "Kinky wants one thing of Master Potter. Can she asks it?"

Her whole body trembled violently at her forthrightness.

"Of course."

"She is wanting to come when Miss Ky calls. And to do as Miss Ky says. Just as Master Sirius' wish was. Kinky wants that."

"Then Kinky shall have it." Harry said, his voice a whisper, brought down in octaves by the weight of having to hear his name being spoken out loud.

Her trembling stopped and she turned to me, her hazel eyes rife with admonishment, fear and anxiety gone with a blink of her big eyes, "Miss Ky is to go to breakfast. Kinky has arranged for all her favourite things, pancakes and crispy bacon and coco pops to be at your seat. Kinky is not liking this paleness and thinness and it is an embarrassment for an house elf to have such as a mistress. Kinky has arranged Master Potter's breakfast as well, would he like to take it in his room?"

I raised my eyebrows, what was I feeling so bad about, I don't command this little brat. She commands me.

His voice answered from above me and I felt the absence of his warmth as he rose, "Hospital Wing please Kinky. You don't have to do that though Kinky, retain the duties you have as a Hogwarts Elf."

"It is the duty of a Hogwarts Elf to honour the boy who has triumphed yet again overs He Who Must not be Named with a special breakfast Master Potter." She bowed low before him. She straightened up, "Breakfast is already set up by Master Ron and Miss Mi's bedside. Miss Mi and Master Ron are awake. Master Ron has a few bruises but will heal up quickly. Miss Mi…she is not looking bad on the outside but on the inside Kinky thinks there is pain, she only wakes up few minutes ago. She is on lots of potions, Kinky lets her know that Miss Ky will be there soon."

I sighed with relief and cringed with guilt whilst at the same time feeling such appreciation for the little elf.

I wanted to be by Mi's side like she had been at mine all those times but considering the circumstances I knew where my place was last night.

"Thank you, Kinks."

She nodded, "Also, Masters Thornton would like to see Miss Ky, and the Headmaster…they've been waiting with the Headmaster from daybreak."

I slowly rose and nodded my head at Kinky. She returned my gaze with a knowing expression. She knew where I was, but upon their asking she never revealed the whereabouts, knowing what I would want.

"Thank you, Kinks." She nodded her head, and with a click she was gone.

I looked out the large window, flying schoolmates just dots in the distance, being exchanged for masses of endless blue, to green topped forest, as the room silently revolved.

I sensed Harry approaching and then saw him in front of me as he walked passed, his hand on the door as he held it open for me. I crossed the threshold and started down the stairs as we walked on in silence.

"You should-"

"I wonder if they told Neville about Alya?"

I wasn't about to discuss my grandfather, just as he wasn't about to discuss his godfather.

His voice floated from behind me, "I don't think so, considering you never told them anything and Agnes is still unconscious. Which brings me back to-"

"I don't want to."

I turned down the next corridor and went through the portrait of the red kite flying over the sea, the waves crashing into the side of the frame.

He sighed, knowing that it would be useless to convince me to go to my grandfather. I could tell he didn't want his issues with him to become my issues, but like many things these days, his feelings and mine were not mutually exclusive.

We continued our descent to the hospital wing in silence, both preparing ourselves as we exited our world, where it was OK to not smile, to not pretend everything would get better with time, where there was no need for false words of comfort, both ready to enter their world. The world that everyone else resided in, where Sirius was dead and Palbei existed and Grandfathers played fiddler with fate…as I pushed the door to the hospital wing I felt long fingers wrap around my right hand and the cold within me died down just a little…we may be entering their world, but I took comfort that my world still walked beside me.

A/N: A much-needed Harry and Ky chapter, even if it was a really sad one. I hate that she's upset with Dumbledore on Harry's behalf, but I think it's sensible for her to be – all things considered!

Please review

Kalina