Chapter 19

"If now you saw me you would say:

Where is the face I used to love?

And I would answer: Gone before;

It tarries veiled in paradise."

-Christina Rossetti "The Convent Threshold"

They were in England before the new year. They were staying in London, which teemed with thirty million people. Their formal itinerary did not include going to Oxford, and so after they had visited the usual places (the War Cabinet, Westminster Abbey, the Globe Theatre, and St. John's Cathedral), Elizabeth asked permission to go to her home in Oxford for a few days. As she expected, Dresle wanted to come along, and this didn't bother Elizabeth at all, although she was slightly annoyed that security would also be coming. One advantage, however, was that she didn't have to take the bus and was driven the hour and a half to Oxford.

Her apartment looked exactly the same as when she had left it, except there was a coating of dust over everything. The water and electricity were still running. The cat jumped down from her arms and paced directly to the bed, where he promptly curled up and fell asleep. Dresle declared the tiny apartment "charming" and went around to look at all the pictures of nature on the walls.

Elizabeth had not been able to call Will yet to tell him when she was coming. He was at work now, so she texted him to tell him they had arrived, and to call her when he got off work. The food in the fridge was rotten and rancid, for she had run out with barely the clothes on her back when they had summoned her six months before. She decided to cook in, and so walked down to the supermarket with Dresle. People stared at the Vellorian, but did not approach, seeing the two guards with guns.

Elizabeth was being paid handsomely by the U.F.S. for her duties, so she had more than enough money to buy everything she wanted. She bought crackers, cheese, wine, vegetables, fruit, a roast, sugar, flour, chocolate, coffee, bread, potatoes, and butter. She had so much that the grumbling security men had to help carry the bags home.

It felt so wonderful to be back, if only for a short while. She turned on Götterdammerung through the speakers. She snacked on some cheese, crackers, and seltzer water with Dresle as she unpacked the groceries and then started to cook. Dresle, it happened, had never cooked before, although she grew the plants on the ship. Elizabeth could not claim to be a good cook, but she knew how to follow recipes, and had a recipe for a roast that she had made last Christmas. She showed Dresle how to chop the vegetables and set her to cutting the carrots, onions, and potatoes while she prepared the meat.

Will called around five o'clock. He was so excited that Elizabeth was back, she could see him beaming at her on the screen. "So what are you doing tonight?" he asked.

"I'm cooking a New Year's Eve feast," she said. "Dresle's helping me. After we eat we can watch a movie or something."

"Great! What do you want to see?"

"Mmm…I'll let you pick."

"Really?" he looked shocked and smiled. "Now I know you're in a good mood."

"Ha ha," she said. "Very funny. Just remember Dresle will be watching with us."

"All right. I just got off work, so let me run home and I should be over there in an hour."

"All right. See you soon!"

Will arrived at six with a full bag, and was promptly stopped by the guards, who insisted on going through his things. Elizabeth opened the door to find Will standing in the hall, looking rather chagrined while the hefty guards went through all his items.

"Oh, no, I forgot to tell them you were coming, Will. It's all right," she said to the guards. "He's a friend of mine. You can let him through."

Will hastily stuffed all his things back into his bag and entered the apartment.

"I'm so sorry, Will," she said, giving him a hug.

"It's fine," he said. "It's so good to see you!" he beamed.

"You too," she said. "You remember Dresle.

"Hello, sir, it is very good to see you again," she said politely and offered her hand.

To her confusion Will lifted it to his mouth and kissed it. "It is charming to see you again, too. You look lovely. You both do." He beamed at Elizabeth again. "I brought some things for you." He set his bag on the table. "Ah, now they've messed up everything I had in here." He brought out a bottle of champagne. "To celebrate the new year," he said.

"Thank you!" cried Elizabeth. "Let me put it into the fridge to get it cold."

"And… some pies, made by my mother, especially for you!"

"Really? Well, that's kind of her. I've never even met her! So you spent the holidays with them?"

"Yes. I told them I was going to see you, hopefully soon, so she made these – a mince pie, a pork pie, and a plum pudding."

"You have a family?" Dresle asked him.

"Why, yes, I do." He turned to her smiling.

"What are they like?"

"Well, there's my mother – she's a librarian in Derbyshire. She never remarried after my Dad passed away ten years ago. She's a wonderful cook. Then I have a brother and a sister. My sister's a year or two younger than I, and she's an elementary school teacher. Then, my brother Alex is still in high school. He's sixteen."

"What did your father do?"

"My father? Oh, he was a fireman."

"A fireman? What is that?"

"It's someone who puts out fires – if a fire starts in a building or in a town. There were a lot of chaotic fires during the rioting in the Pandemic. He died in a fire."

Dresle nodded. "Do they spray the fire with water?" she asked.

"Yes. Then put out the fire if they can, but their main goal is to get everyone in the building out alive."

"Elizabeth doesn't have a family. Do you, Elizabeth?"

"She has a brother," said Will. "You told me, remember?" he turned to her. "The day before they landed."

"Yes, I did."

"You didn't tell me if your parents were still alive, though."

"No," she said slowly. "They're dead." Then she turned to the kitchen to prepare the salad.

"Gifts!" said Will, perhaps noting Elizabeth's unease. "I have one for each of you," he said. He took out two packages. One was the size of a box, about eight inches long and five inches wide. This he put on the table for Elizabeth. The other one he gave to Dresle.

"You did not have to get me anything!" Dresle cried.

"Oh, but I wanted to," said Will. "Go on, open it."

Elizabeth came and sat down at the table while Dresle unwrapped the shining Christmas paper decorated with baubles. In it was a microdisc that had letters across it in white, saying: The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, and had an illustration of the famous detective and his friend.

"What is it?" said Dresle.

"It's a TV show, made years ago. Each episode is one of the stories Arthur Conan Doyle wrote, played out on screen. It's a famous Shakespearean actor who plays Holmes. Elizabeth told me you like Sherlock Holmes."

"Oh, I do! Thank you so much!" She looked delighted.

"Now yours," said Will, pushing a brown paper package toward Elizabeth.

"Hmm… it's heavy," she said, lifting it. "Is it a box?" she shook it but there was no noise. She ripped the paper off.

"Be careful!" said Will.

In a moment the paper was off, revealing the blue cover of a hard-bound book. Elizabeth gasped, "A book!" and tears actually sprang to her eyes. "Wherever did you get it?"

Will simply smiled in answer.

She opened it carefully, almost tenderly. The front page read, "Dombey and Son by Charles Dickens."

"I know Little Dorrit is your favourite, but I couldn't find it."

She stood up and embraced him and only pulled back a minute later, her cheeks pink. "Oh, thank you, Will! It must have been so expensive."

"No, it was nothing," he said.

"I don't understand," said Dresle. "Why is this gift so amazing?"

"Books have become rather rare – everything is digital in this day and age. You saw that vast library in the U.N. – that's probably the largest collection of books in the world. You have virtually the same content on your digital library."

"Even writing is uncommon," added Will, "by hand. They don't teach it in school anymore. I never learned how."

"Come see my collection," said Elizabeth, getting up and motioning Dresle toward the bookcase on the wall. There were only about half a dozen volumes there; the rest of the shelves held music, movies, and her collection of pens and paper. The books were Moby Dick, by Herman Melville; an anthology of poetry; The Swiss Family Robinson, by Johann Wyss; Silas Marner, by George Eliot; Toilers of the Sea, by Victor Hugo; Hans Christian Anderson's fairytales; The Elements of Style, by Strunk and White; The Tempest, by Shakespeare; and an ancient dictionary which had lost its covers and its binding. "I've been collecting over the years, ever since I was in high school and had a job – except for The Elements of Style. That was my parents'. Now Dickens can finally sit on the shelf with them." She placed the thick blue volume next to the tattered dictionary and beamed at it. "Oh, and I nearly forgot your gift!" she said, going back to the table and giving Will the gift she had gotten for him in Copenhagen. "It's nothing like your present, but oh well."

He unwrapped it. "Doomsday Book," he said. "Sounds cheerful," he smirked.

"No more cheerful than Dombey and Son. Doomsday Book is one of my favourites. It's about time travel and the Middle-Ages."

Will beamed. "I'm sure I'll love it, thanks," he said, taking out the microdisc and transferring the text to his hand-held.

They sat down for their dinner, laughing and talking as they ate. Elizabeth wanted to tell Will about all the places she'd visited, and he listened in fascination, while Dresle interjected a comment here and there. "I'm so envious," said Will. "I've just been following along on the news. Laufa's interview with Dr. Jørgenson was fascinating."

"Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you," said Elizabeth, getting up and searching through her bag, "I got a Christmas card from Secretary Liam."

"Who?"

"The Secretary of Defense for the U.F.S. who was in charge of my being assigned. He's uh…" She glanced out of the corner of her eye at Dresle, "a correspondent of mine."

"Wow! Let me see it!" He took the Christmas card. It had a picture of the tall and handsome Secretary in his military uniform standing next to his wife, his hand on her shoulder and the other on his daughter's shoulder who stood before him. There were two girls, in their teens, and a boy of about fourteen. They stood before a Christmas tree. A note was printed on it. It said, "Dr. Bennet, Seasons greetings from the Liam family. Thanks for all your help."

"How nice," said Will.

Next, they had dessert, a cake that Dresle had helped Elizabeth to make. "Ah! Black Forest cake! My favourite!" said Will, pleased. "How did you know?"

"It's what you always order for pudding," said Elizabeth. "Let me ask the guards if they want to join us."

She went out to where the poor guards were standing by the door. They looked relieved and gratified to be invited inside. "We've been smelling that delicious food for hours," said one.

"Thank you so much," said the other, after they had gulped a plate of food and were now having cake.

"Dresle made it," said Elizabeth.

They turned to Dresle. "It's delicious."

Dresle blushed. "Elizabeth helped me. I've never cooked anything before. I especially like the cherries. I've had chocolate before but never cherries until now."

"It's hard to find them fresh," said Elizabeth. "We can only mostly find them canned."

Once they had finished eating, the guards said thank you and then went outside again, doubtless to doze against the door frame.

"What movie did you bring for us to watch?" asked Elizabeth. "Let me guess – is it about aliens?"

"No, actually, not this time. We have the real thing now, we don't need movies." He nodded politely to Dresle. "This one is called GATTACA. It's an old movie, about eugenics and the dangers of relying on it too much."

Dresle seemed to find the movie interesting, and talked to them a little bit about her own society's eugenics program, and how they were chosen for their professions partly by those means. The soldiers were bred to be stronger, taller, and capable of great athletic feats.

"Soldiers?" asked Will sharply. "What soldiers?"

"Well, we don't have them anymore," Dresle said in an almost pleading voice. "They were to protect the borders of our country."

"Oh, I see," said Will, glancing at Elizabeth.

Will stayed until just past midnight, which they celebrated with champagne (although Dresle had seltzer water), and then he made his way home. Elizabeth was tired, but Dresle was not yet ready to sleep, so when Elizabeth went to bed, Dresle stayed in the living room and watched the Sherlock Holmes adventures which Will had given her.

The next day Will had off of work, and so he met them and they all walked down to Iffley. Despite the guards' insistence that they drive, Elizabeth and Will wanted to walk – they could show Dresle more of the city that way. Fortunately it had not snowed, and so they simply bundled up and with a quick walk they reached Iffley in about an hour. They passed by the botanical gardens, but they were closed for the winter. They walked by a college green next to a lake with ducks, and saw some students out practicing Much Ado About Nothing.

"What are they doing?" asked Dresle, who had stopped to listen to them recite their lines.

Of course, she's never seen a play, thought Elizabeth. "It's Shakespeare, a famous playwright, that they're reciting. They perform live on stage while an audience watches."

"Oh, yes, we had those on Vellorum," said Dresle, seeming pleased to know this. "That's what the Globe in London was for, right?"

"Exactly," said Elizabeth.

"What? They haven't taken you to see a play yet?" said Will. "How could they neglect such an important part of human culture? We've got to introduce her to the Bard," said Will, turning to Elizabeth. "I know the Shakespeare Company is putting on Twelfth Night for the holidays. Let me check if they have any more tickets." He checked his phone as they kept walking. In a few minutes he said, "They're sold out tonight but we can go tomorrow night."

"That sounds great! Would you like to go, Dresle?"

"I would love to!" Dresle smiled, her cheeks red from the cold and the exercise.

Iffley was a tiny little village. The street was narrow and on the wooden houses there were no doors or windows open, so it looked uninhabited. Then on the left Will spotted a little shop. The white door tinkled as they opened it and came into the warmth. A little old lady with white hair and a blue apron stood there behind the counter. She smiled at her customers then her eyes grew wide at the sight of the armed guards. "Please, no guns inside the shop!" she quavered; then her eyes lit on the tall figure of Dresle. Her jaw dropped. "My…my goodness," she said. "You're even more beautiful than on the telly. Can I – can I help you with anything?"

"We're just looking, thank you," said Elizabeth. The old woman seemed to have forgotten about the guards and their guns. Her eyes followed Dresle as they looked at the little mementoes and food for sale. There were eggs from chickens, geese, and ducks for sale, as well as soaps and lotions home-made from goat's milk. There were also cheeses from sheep and goats. Elizabeth picked out some bars of soap, and they paid and left, the shopwoman watching them all the way down the road.

"I hate it when they do that," said Dresle as they walked away.

"What?" said Will.

"Stare at me," responded Dresle. "Everyone does it."

"They can't help it," said Will with a smile, "You're the most beautiful woman they've ever seen – not to mention that you have violet eyes, or come from another planet."

Dresle smiled.

"You are – quite a rarity to us," Will continued. "We've spent thousands of years wondering, 'Are we alone in the universe?' and here you are, to prove all the skeptics wrong!"

Dresle's smile faded, but she said nothing until they reached the old church – St. Mary's it was called. There were no services going on – the number of services had diminished greatly since the Pandemic.

"It was built in the 1100's," said Elizabeth. "That may not seem old to you, but for us it is very old."

"No, it does seem old," said Dresle, with eyes wide. "We didn't have anything that old in my country.

"People used to worship here?" she added after a moment.

"Yes."

"What did they worship?"

"The Christian religion," said Will.

"Like the Bible?"

"Yes."

"Do you believe the Bible?"

Will looked a bit uncomfortable. "No…" he said slowly. "I mean, aspects of it are interesting. Jesus definitely lived, and he was certainly a good man, but I don't believe he was any more than that."

"What do you think about the beginning of the Bible? In Genesis?"

"Genesis? You mean the creation?"

"Yes - and the part about the Flood."

"Well, there is evidence that there was some sort of global flood event," said Will. "All major religions have a flood myth."

"But you said you have a similar tale on your planet," said Elizabeth.

"Really?" asked Will, fascinated. "You have a type of Holy Book, do you?"

Dresle looked uncomfortable. "Not really … just stories," she said. "Not an actual book."

"And is that the belief system followed by your people?"

"No," said Dresle. "We believe in science and reason."

"So you don't believe in God."

"No," said Dresle. "Do you?"

Will nodded. "Some kind of God. I'm not exactly sure who/what he – or she – is. So what do your stories say?" he asked eagerly.

"Just – you know – a creation story. A God creating the world."

"And what about the fall of man? Do you have stories about that?"

"…I don't know," said Dresle reluctantly. There was an awkward pause. "What does the window-painting say?" She pointed to the stained-glass window. "Is it as old as the rest of the building?"

It was blue with a thin green stalk rising up from the earth, and several different animals perched on it, each with Latin words issuing from their mouths.

"No, it was put in in 1995," said Elizabeth. "It's in Latin. It goes like this:

Rooster: Christus Natus est (Christ is born)

Goose: Quando? Quando? (When? When?)

Crow: In hac hocte (On this night)

Owl: Ubi? Ubi? (Where? Where?)

Lamb: Bethlem! Bethlem! (Bethlehem)"

Below the animals were words in English: "Let man and beast appear before Him and magnify His name together."

"It's about Christmas – Christ's birth," said Will.

"Let's go look outside," said Elizabeth.

The headstones in the cemetery were crumbling and cracked. "It is so strange," said Dresle, "how you bury your dead in the ground."

"Why?" asked Will. "What do you do?"

"We believe that at death the body returns to the essences from which it came, so we burn the bodies."

"Wow. So do you have whole furnaces dedicated to that, then?"

"Just one in each city. It's attached to the Houses of Rest."

"What are those?"

"The places where the old who have ceased to be useful to society go. They are given the Cup of Rest and then they die."

"What about the others?"

"What others?"

"The ones who die from accidents, diseases, murders…"

"Oh – well, there are sometimes accidents. If someone is injured and can no longer serve the state, they are given the Cup of Rest, too. But we don't have diseases, or murders."

"Wow. None?" asked Will, amazed.

"Well, it is different among the soldiers. If they die while fighting their bodies are burned by their fellow soldiers. If there is any discipline problem, they are sometimes executed – publicly, to send a message to everyone else. But that is very rare."

"So… you don't suffer from any diseases?"

"Well, there are some children that are born ill, weak, or deformed. These are eradicated."

"Eradicated?" Will said, eyebrows raised. "What do you mean?"

"They are given a shot and then the bodies are sent to the furnace."

"That is extremely unwise," said Will, looking shocked, but evidently trying to be respectful.

Dresle looked up at him. She clearly was not used to being contradicted concerning matters of her own land. She crossed her arms over her chest. "And why is that?"

"You saw – in the movie we watched last night. The main character, Vincent, had a heart defect, but he became an astronaut."

"That's just a story," said Dresle stubbornly.

"All right – real life then," said Will. "Abraham Lincoln had Marfan Syndrome. He never would have lived."

"Who is Abraham Lincoln?" asked Dresle.

"He was America's greatest president," said Elizabeth. "He was responsible for the end of slavery in the United States.

"And Stephen Hawking," continued Will. "You've heard of him. The greatest mind in the twenty-first century. He had amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. So many developments in science never would have been made if we had followed your example."

"Also, Vincent Van Gogh – a famous artist, had the gene for intractable epilepsy," added Elizabeth. "We've seen some of his art at museums."

"Not to mention the great piano player, Andrea Belocci, who was born with a congenital heart defect," said Will.

"Yes, I have heard her music," said Dresle. "It is beautiful."

"There are countless other complex inborn errors of metabolism," Will went on. "Like osteo-genesis imperfecta – a disease where there is a risk of fatal bone fracture. Almost all the bones break as the child is being born. That was the case of Thaddeus Newton, one of the great novelists of the twenty-first century."

"I didn't know you liked Thaddeus Newton," said Elizabeth.

"He had one or two good books," Will shrugged.

"Perhaps you are right," said Dresle. "I do not know exactly how they decide who lives and who dies."

"Exactly. What if it had been you?" asked Will.

Dresle was thoughtful for a long time after this. When they decided to start walking back, Will resumed their previous conversation. "So, besides in the babies, were there any diseases among adults in your land?"

Dresle looked up. "Not in our country. In other societies I have heard there are diseases – but those come from poor sanitation, unclean water, drinking alcohol or eating bad foods. Our diet is regimented to keep us in peak physical condition. We got very thin and unhealthy on our journey here."

"Yes – I noticed you had gained weight," said Will. "You and your companions look much better from what I've seen of you on TV."

"Thank you," Dresle smiled.

Elizabeth had noticed it, too. The men had become fuller and the women plumper. Dresle seemed flattered by Will's comment.

"So what about the soul?" Will continued. "Do your people believe in the soul?"

"The soul? No," said Dresle. "The soul is a social construct created by lesser cultures in order to enforce the belief that there is a 'good' and 'evil'."

It sounded as if she were reciting a litany she had memorized by rote.

"What? And you agree with that?" said Will. "That there is no such thing as a soul and no good or evil? How then do you explain war or terrorism?"

Dresle shrugged. "It is what I was taught."

"That doesn't mean you have to believe it!" said Will. "Hitler taught the German youth that the Aryans were superior, and look what happened to Europe when people listened to him!"
He paused. "You have heard of Hitler, haven't you?"

"Oh, yes," said Dresle. "We went to the London war cabinets."

"He also believed in exterminating the mentally handicapped and physically disabled."

Dresle swallowed, looking uncomfortable. "We only wanted to improve the genetic code of our species."

"I know," said Will. "But there can be a dangerous line between 'improving' and 'destroying.' The question is, what is the definition of 'life,' and is there any such thing as a 'quality of life,' or is all life equal?"

They continued their discussion all the way back to Oxford, but Elizabeth kept mostly quiet. These were issues her parents had taught her as a child, and she still believed them, despite her spiritual disbelief. But she did not want to discuss it. Perhaps it would reveal too much about her, or make her feel uncomfortably close to her parents' old beliefs.

They stopped at a pub part of the way home and had an early supper. Then Will walked them to Elizabeth's apartment and promised to collect them for Twelfth Night the following evening after he was finished working. He had taken New Year's Day off, but could not miss anymore.

Elizabeth was tired from the long walk and so went to bed early. She felt badly leaving Dresle up alone all night, but Dresle seemed fine. "I enjoyed the Sherlock Holmes videos Will gave me. Do you have any more like that?"

"Sherlock Holmes? No, I don't think so. But I've got quite a collection of films. You can look through those."

"Thanks!" Dresle said; and soon after Elizabeth fell asleep.

She awoke in the middle of the night, sweaty and breathing hard. She had dreamed that Laufa was ruler of the Earth and that he had ordered all handicapped people or those who had incurable diseases be slaughtered. Flitting in and out of the dream was Maisee, Elizabeth's little childhood friend who only had one eye and was in line to be exterminated. But that wasn't right; Elizabeth thought. Maisee had been dead for years – she had died in the Pandemic. Then she woke.

The first thing she realized was that the sound from her dream had not stopped – she could still hear it, though it seemed far away. Then she noticed a soft light seeping into her bedroom from the living room. She creaked the door open and looked out.

Dresle was sitting in front of the TV with her hand over her mouth, staring at the screen. Elizabeth felt as if she had stepped back into a living nightmare. On the screen was an image of a filthy wooden hut lined with bodies on mats on the dirt floor. A little wavy-haired girl was on her knees beside one of the mats. On the mat lay an emaciated blonde woman dressed in a tribal costume that was covered in dirt, dried blood and vomit. She was covered with boils and her eyes were shut. Her face looked deathly pale, almost grey.

"Mama! Mama!" The girl was crying, tugging at the woman's hand.

"Don't touch her, Elizabeth!" croaked a male voice close by. Next to the woman lay a man in his mid-thirties. He too was covered in boils and was naked from the waist up. His right hand was clasping the left hand of the dead woman. He was sweating profusely, and had to stop to lean over and vomit beside his mat. One of the natives rushed forward, but he motioned him back. "Stay away!" he cried, and as the little girl rushed to him he said, "Elizabeth, stay back!"

"But, Papa, mama's not moving!" the little girl wept. "She's not answering me!"

"Mama has gone up to heaven," said the man softly. "She is with Jesus now. And so will I be soon." He gave a deep sigh; and looked at the little girl longingly as she wept, perhaps wishing he could embrace her. "My darling Elizabeth," he said at last, "Do not be afraid. Even after we are gone, Jesus will still be with you. And you shall see us again someday in Heaven."

"Papa," the little girl sobbed, "Please, don't die! Don't die!"

"Where is John?" said her father, as if in a daze.

"You sent him into town to get some medicine for you," said little Elizabeth. "Remember?"

"Yes," he said, sighing. "It is too late now. You must let John take care of you now, all right?"

He stopped to take a few deep breaths, closing his eyes. When he opened them again, he said, "It's all right, Elizabeth. Come now, repeat after me. Our Father…"

"Our Father," she choked.

"Who art in heaven…"

"Who art in heaven."

"Hallowed be thy name."

Elizabeth felt suddenly sick and a darkness started to cloud all her senses as she listened to the recital of the Lord's Prayer. She was back again in that shed. She could smell the vomit, the diarrhea, the rotting human flesh, the filthy odour of decaying bodies. She thought she heard screaming in the distance, then felt a pain in her right arm. She realized suddenly that it was she who was screaming, and that her arm was bleeding from having struck the screen and cut herself on the broken glass.

Dresle was up immediately, her worried pale face looking at Elizabeth's. "Are you all right?" she said. "Elizabeth, what's the matter?"

But Elizabeth backed away, her whole body shaking. "Get out. GET OUT!" she screamed, pointing at the door.

"Elizabeth, what did I –"

"GET OUT!"

The two guards came through the door, their weapons out and eyes searching for some danger. "What's the matter?" one of them asked. "We heard screams."

"Get out! Get out!" Elizabeth kept repeating.

And Dresle, looking terrified for the first time, fled the room, the guards behind her, slamming the door shut.