A/N: Y'all are gonna fucking lynch me for this chapter, but hey! My cat has been missing for a month, I've put up flyers, posted on Nextdoor and PawBoost, and nothing. I've been out almost everyday, looking around the neighborhood, but now I can't do that anymore, because some idiot decided to be selfish and shoot up a convenience store not far from where I live. The fucker is still on the loose, and I don't have a proper driver's license yet. Basically, I'm stuck inside, so fuck it! Here's some angst for y'all while I go be sad in a corner.

My Dear Arthur,

I hope this letter finds you well. I wanted to thank you for your help with Jamie. He and Daddy are still arguing but I understand that Jamie is thinking about going back to college. Whatever happens, I believe you saved his life and we are truly grateful.

Oh Arthur, I have made such a mess of my life, time and again. Why can't I change, and be the woman I want to be. Why couldn't you change and be a man and put down all those fantasies that cloud your judgment?

Life is very confusing and I see now that I am not very good at it.

I am afraid we have got ourselves into another mess. It's not my fault but I need your help. I'm staying at the Hotel Grand in Saint Denis. Oh Arthur, I know it is wrong to ask you, but I have nobody else and for what we once had together, I beg of you, even though I am ashamed to do so.

Yours,

Mary

Lemoyne National Bank. It was located in the governmental part of town near town hall and the courthouse, along with other big businesses, closely linked to those branches.

Lily had ridden there not long after Sam and Arthur departed for their mission. She gave it a day to think about what to do. Despite what her cousin said, she couldn't just sit around and rest at camp, moping like Miss Molly O'Shea. All she had for her current worries were testimony from strangers and a stranger man's troubling premonition.

Valentine had a bank. It was the main reason so many people suffered on that fateful night months ago. Thinking about it now, it was probably so the law and the Pinkertons could target as many O'Driscolls as they could. Of course, now that Lily knew why the Pinkertons had come, it was probably all just a set-up, so that scumbag Milton could kill her father.

Lily didn't want to appear suspicious, but thanks to Brandon and his "discouraged people," they were happy to supply her something formal to wear.

Once outside of the tailor, Lily got into a carriage driven by one of Brandon's people. She was driven to the bank. It was a yellow stately building, made of stone with a white trim for the window frames and columns.

Lily stepped off the carriage once she arrived. She was wearing a red corset and gown. The lacey shirt underneath went up to her neck and was secured by her mother's broach. A matching feathered hat was on her head.

Despite rarely wearing fancy heels, Lily walked with the elegance of a high society lady. Her heels clip clopped across the street, turning heads, which was probably why she was able to walk across the street so safely.

The clerk at the desk was taken aback by her. However, Lily was taken aback by the inside. It was more lavish than the bank in Valentine, for certain. Carpet was laid out on the floor towards the main desk that was in the middle and long enough to go in almost a complete circle at its small space at the center. The walls were pink with a white trim near the entrance, but the rest was just white. The roof was high enough at the center to house a chandelier. Portraits framed in gold adorned the walls, with couches by the window. There were large double doors in the back. It only made Lily wonder what was back there.

Despite her attire, Lily felt out of place there. Even so, a worker there didn't hesitate to approach.

"Can I help you, miss?" the clerk asked.

Lily snapped out of her stupor. "My apologies!" she responded, a hand on her chest and giving a slight bow. "I'm here on behalf of my father. I cannot disclose his name for security reasons as we just arrived in town not too long ago, but he's looking for new businesses to invest in."

"Is that so?" said the clerk. "I don't recall management talking about this."

"Ah, yes," said Lily. "Perhaps I should have scheduled an appointment beforehand. I must apologize for that. My father was too busy and sent me here, saying I must become familiar with the family business." Her lips formed a pout and made her hazel eyes a little wider. "I apologize for being so flaky."

The clerk looked at the girl for a moment. Then he smiled. "You know what? Let me talk to the manager real quick." He left the desk and into the office in the back. All Lily could do at the moment was smirk.

The manager came out eventually, saw Lily at the counter and was suddenly enthusiastic about showing the young lady how efficient the bank was. She was shown the offices, the employees, sat in on a loan negotiation and was granted the ability to view the safe. There was security at the moment, of course. No matter how pretty Lily was, money was money, and valuable things must be protected.

Still, it was huge. There were so many locked drawers and safes. The big one was in the back. Lily never thought she would be standing so close to riches, but be unable to reach any of it, as there were too many guns in the area.

Finally, after making her way out of the vault, she thanked the manager and the staff, before going on her way.

On the way back to the tailor to return the clothes she borrowed, Lily wrote down everything she could recall while she was there: The staff, the layout, the number of armed guards inside, and other things.

Still, she didn't see or remember anything that posed a threat to the gang. They could handle a few armed guards and any civilians who were feeling heroic. She was unable to remember how to get into the giant room where all the valuables were, as security made her turn away while the manager opened it. It was smart of them, though.

If it wasn't the security or staff at the bank that were a threat, then was it the law? Police were plentiful in town, which was needed for a big city. They had patrols everywhere. Back in Valentine, the officers hung out in the office most of the time, with some just wandering outside his office or the saloon, overlooking the main street.

Lily remembered Javier and Sam taking note of the patrol routes of the law. If she remembered correctly, the plan was to have Hosea cause a huge distraction to draw the police officers away. She wasn't sure how that would go, as she had never pulled off a robbery in such a big city.

Sam could count himself lucky that everyone knew each other back home. Even Lily counted him lucky for whenever he got caught for his shenanigans. But here? Getting caught would come with a noose… or a bullet.

Lily could only exhale deeply as she rubbed the sweat from her forehead. She took her hat off once the carriage dropped her off at the tailors. She left the clothes she borrowed to Brandon's associates and changed back to her white shirt, jeans, and purple handkerchief and boots. She tucked away her mother's brooch in her saddlebag and set out for camp once again.

Lily knew the gang could handle law. She wasn't sure if they could handle a whole city of them, however. They were a gang of twenty-two people, skilled in their own ways, armed with that and experience.

After what she heard and after all they had been through, would it be enough? Dutch refused to speak much about what happened in Blackwater, and only heard bits and pieces from others. John seemed torn up when he would talk about it. It wasn't enough to save Jenny, Davey, or Mac…

Or Sean…

At first, Lily thought that maybe she was overthinking this, but the more she thought about it, the more she began to fear for the lives of her brothers and sisters in arms. She had to figure out the root of this potential threat soon.

As Lily's horse continued on the trail towards Shady Belle, the image of the stranger from the cemetery haunted her mind. He told her to be careful with "that bank." He had to have been talking about the one in Saint Denis.

Who was he? What did he want? Why was he telling her about all this? What was his goal?

Lily shook her head. She didn't know how she was going to warn the gang without making them worry, or appearing crazy, but she couldn't let this go. Dread continued to build up in her heart.

Lily made it to Shady Belle, just as the sun was setting. She reluctantly allowed Kieran to tend to Adonis, while she grabbed dinner. Afterwards, she headed up to the infirmary for some solitude, but bumped into Hosea.

"Sorry," said Lily.

"You're alright," said Hosea. "Everything okay out there?"

Lily just nodded in response. She tried to go to her room, but Hosea placed a hand on her shoulder, stopping her.

"Something's wrong, isn't it?" said Hosea.

Lily wasn't sure how to respond. How could she tell him about the wacky encounters? Even Brandon was telling her to back off from the whole mess.

She took a deep breath, and just shoved the notes she took from today into Hosea's hands. The elder was so stunned at what he had been given, he didn't have time to stop Lily from rushing into her room to be alone.

It had been a day or two since Sam and Arthur departed for their heist with those natives. With Arthur by Sam's side, she knew he'd be okay. More than ever, she just wanted everyone she loved dearly back home.

The girls had done a good job making sure everything was where it should be. Miss Grimshaw let it slip that the reverend had relapsed in his addiction once again, but Susan had done well to keep him away from the medicines in the infirmary.

Lily spent the night trying to stay busy, organizing things, replenishing the tonics, and taking note on what herbs to go out and gather later.

Worried about the gang still, Lily stayed up, waiting for Sam and Arthur until she was too tired for her worries to even keep her up. She changed into her nightgown and fell asleep, clutching Sam's pillow.

Lily woke up the next morning to the sound of song birds and the chickens outside. To her relief, Sam had indeed come home. He was laying almost face down on his cot, his satchel and gunbelt on the floor next to it.

The girl stood up from her bed and walked over to his side. She slipped off his boots and managed to make him roll onto his side. Upon doing so, however, she saw his face red, and dried up tears on his cheeks. Lily grabbed Sam's pillow and tried shaking him awake, but only made him mumble. His voice sounded soft and almost broken. So, she just moved his head enough so that she could ease the pillow back under his head, before pulling a thin blanket over him.

Lily thought to herself. Sam didn't look injured and he certainly had taken enough bumps, bruises and other injuries to warrant something of a pain tolerance… at least enough to not cry about it.

So, that left only one other option.

"ARTHUR MORGAN!"

Her voice was enough to disturb the quiet in the house. It probably woke up John, Abigail and little Jack, as well. Her steps were heard as she slipped into her boots and made her way up those old, rickety steps.

Arthur was laying on his back, safely in bed when the door swung open, which jolted him awake. He had been too tired to change when he returned to camp, like Sam, and was still in his regular clothes. His left arm, which was hanging off his bed, scrambled to find his gun belt, but then he stopped once he saw it was just Lily. Actually, he thought to still reach for his gun, regardless once he saw the fury desperately trying to escape from those hazel eyes.

"What the hell did you do?!" Lily demanded to know.

Arthur sighed irritably. He had only gotten back a few hours ago and it had been a struggle to fall asleep, despite being exhausted, thinking about Sam's betrayal.

Still, he sat up, ready to face the wrath of the flower known as Lily. "What did he tell you?"

Lily showed no hesitation in storming up to a man who was way bigger than her and could kill someone with his bare hands. "Nothing. I saw it on his face. He's hurt. What happened?" Her question sounded more of a command to answer than anything.

Arthur stared down many criminals and gun slingers. Hell, he looked the government and Colm O'Driscoll in the face. And yet, the potential wrath of this woman was the thing he was having trouble looking dead in the eye. Part of him knew he was being unreasonable, but he couldn't just let go of how Sam lied to him.

"Why don't you ask him yourself?" he growled.

"I'm asking you," Lily said, saying each word, slowly.

"Your Sam stole a letter from me," Arthur answered.

Lily scoffed. "That's it?"

Arthur knew he was going to regret this. "From Mary."

And then there was silence. The season outlaw saw the girl form fists. "Why is that part important to you?"

Usually, Arthur had a comeback for everything, even when having to deal with Dutch, or any life threatening situation.

But now? He didn't.

"I…."

Lily backed up. She put both of her hands over her mouth. "Oh my god…" Her voice quivered for that moment, muffled by her hands.

Arthur stood up immediately and walked over to the girl, ready to explain himself. Lily, however, already knew, and he didn't even have to say a word.

"You BASTARD!" she then shrieked. Her voice could have been enough to make dogs bark and birds fly away.

"Lily-"

Lily pushed him back. "So what was all of this?!" she went on. She pushed him again. "Was this some sort of game to you?!"

"No!" Arthur bit back. "It's-"

Lily shoved him again. "Do you know how many times Sam has stayed up late worrying about you?! He literally took a bullet trying to save you!" When she pushed Arthur once again, it was actually enough to make him stumble. "He disobeyed Dutch for you! And you get mad at him over a stupid letter?!"

Before Lily could push him again, Arthur pushed her away. "It ain't about the goddamn letter! He lied to me!"

"And Dutch and Micah sent you to die!" Lily growled. "You're not mad at them?"

"Micah was the one whispering in his ear like a goddamn snake, and you know it!"

Unknowingly to them, the door had opened just a crack as Lily began to scream at Arthur again.

"You think this is some sick joke?!" Lily yelled. "How many more times are you going to torture him?!"

"He's the one who screws up when I get mad," said Arthur. "It ain't my fault about the way he is. Your Sam ain't perfect and neither am I!"

"You promised me…" Lily hissed. "You FUCKING PROMISED ME! You LIED to me! To Sam!"

When Lily went to push him again, this time Arthur pushed her back first. "Stop yelling in my face!"

"I'll do more than yell at your stupid face!" Lily almost screamed, but just before she could charge at Arthur, John stormed into the room and grabbed Lily, lifting her off the ground, while she squirmed, flailed her arms around and kicked. It was like restraining a child having a tantrum.

"Hey! That's enough!" said John. He turned around and set her down away from the man who was like his brother. When Lily tried to walk to Arthur again, John held out his arm and blocked her. "No! Go cool off! Both of you yelling is scaring the hell out of Jack!"

Again, there was silence. They were both correct about this, but also they were very wrong about other things. And here they were, caught up in their own little world, not even considering the others in the house, let alone the rest of the camp.

Lily teared up in the silence. Everything over the past few days built up and up. Then, the tears spilled. She couldn't hold back anymore. Even so, her voice was quiet and shaky at what she said next.

"You men are all the fucking same…" she said. Finally she looked Arthur in the eye again. "You stay the hell away from Sam!"

Arthur's jaw dropped. "Lil-"

When Lily glared again, the fury in her eyes was in full force. The tears in them, the red on her cheeks… took the seasoned outlaw by surprise. It took him back to a long time ago. She had looked at him in the same way, and what Lily said next only made it more apparent.

"You disgust me!" And she turned on her heel and stormed out of Arthur's room, her sobs audible in the halls as she went down the stairs.

John just sighed. So did Arthur, but he didn't sound as relieved as his brother.

"You alright?" John asked. Arthur just sat back down on his bed. He held his head in his hands for a moment, before John spoke up. "Arthur!"

"Jesus, John," Arthur said, raising his head to look at him. "Just… never seen you care about nobody but yourself. Didn't know what that even looked like."

John rolled his eyes. "Yeah, you're welcome. What the hell just happened?"

Arthur could only stare blankly, seeing the spot where Lily just was. The memory from long ago had resurfaced and was replaying in his head, along with what just happened. Arthur could only look at the floor again, seeing all the dirt and leaves that must have drifted in from the shattered windows.

"Well, I guess I'm like you," he said, noticing the morning rays drifting into the room through the leaves outside. "I reckon I just screwed up."

Meanwhile downstairs, Hosea had just entered the house, having heard all the commotion from his tent. What he didn't expect to see was Lily descending the stairs and exiting through the back door in tears.

The doors to the infirmary were open, and the elder could see Sam was still asleep, disheveled and face still red. Through the windows, Lily could be seen walking away from the house, wiping her face.

Hosea shook his head. He thought he raised Arthur to know better than to make a lady cry.

Lily kept walking, letting her feet guide her until she found herself at the small fishing cabin by the swampy river. Herr Strauss would seek peace and quiet out here while he wrote away in that little book of his. She was grateful that he wasn't there at the moment. Lily got onto the deck and rested her hands on the old, rickety railing. Tears dropped from her eyes and into the swamp water.

Alone, with no one around, Lily allowed herself to weep. Why were all these damn men the same?! she thought. At that moment, her blind emotions were telling her to go to Sam, pack up all of their things and run. However, she knew such an idea would be foolish. They had friends, and these people helped them when their own hometown just kept their distance because of Sam's shenanigans. It would be especially dangerous now with all those people out for Sam's head or wanting a noose around his neck.

After a while, her sobs began to calm down. Lily caught onto the sound around her, hearing the low growls of gators, the birds… and the sound of a dove.

Once it landed near her on the railing. Lily saw it immediately. Its white color was a stark contrast from the gloomy and worn out greens and grays of the swamp. It waited for Lily to hold her hand after balling it up so tightly. Actually, she didn't realize the position of her hands until she opened one of her palms for the small creature. It dropped a rolled up scrap of paper before flying away.

Lily sniffled. She wiped her nose and unfurled the paper in question. It was a piece of a map, a red X was marked. Looked like somewhere in the Lemoyne area. Dutch had Charles and Arthur scout out and mark places of note since they entered this state. Arthur even had a copy of the map in his room, so it didn't take long for Lily to see that this was in Lagras. She was curious as to what it meant, however. Sam remarked how Brandon told him that it wouldn't be easy to locate a government agent, let alone kill.

The girl grimaced. What the hell did he need, now? Was he going to use her, too? Hold the information over her head until he got what he wanted and then toss her and Sam aside? Milton killed his goddamn father over information and he was one of the only good men in this god-forsaken world.

Lily had to take a few deep breaths to calm herself down. Brandon had never once gone back on his word and she knew this, he was also the one who reached out while Sam was desolate in his fresh grief over Cliff's death, but she also thought Archie was a good person until he threw her out after saving him from an O'Driscoll. She thought Arthur was a good man until she found out the truth behind him and Mary. For now, however, she knew she just had to play along.

With Sam "out of commission" at the moment, Lily had only a few other options.

Once she regained her composure, Lily marched herself back to the house. Her steps were quiet as she once again entered the infirmary and changed out of her nightgown and into her regular clothes. Afterwards, she headed out again and zipped by Pearson's wagon to grab something to eat, before heading towards the scout fire. It was just outside of the main camp where the gang members could go for some quiet, craft something like tonics or other things, or just cook something without Pearson knowing.

Unsurprisingly, she found who she was looking for.

"Charles, Sadie…" Her voice was still shaken and quiet from earlier. That alone made the two immediately pay attention. "Will you ride with me?"

Sadie looked up from cleaning one of her rifles. "Sure."

Charles was whittling some new arrows and looked up at her, as well, but knew something was off. He and Sadie both had heard yelling from the house earlier. Maybe if they were away, she'd open up.

"Of course," Charles responded.

Arthur didn't leave his room that day, which was shocking. He almost never did that unless he was sick or injured. Even then, it was Dutch or Hosea who had to force him to take it easy. Sometimes, it was Miss Grimshaw who had to demand it or, "I'll skin you myself, Mr. Morgan."

Sam didn't leave the infirmary, either, mostly because he was sleeping. After that screaming match, everyone had a vague idea of what was going on. It only made Arthur more adamant in staying put. Every man woman and little Jack probably heard it all and drew their own conclusions, and that was a big deterrent in going out, because Arthur knew he'd have to go out there eventually and face them. It was kind of the same thing after he and Mary broke things off. God knows Micah would find a way to poke fun at the situation.

Even while resting, Sam's time in the void was plagued by what he had done, what he had been doing or what could happen next. Right before he awoke, he had a moment of clarity. He could see the faces of the ones he loved, the ones he couldn't protect… the ones he couldn't keep by his side… no matter how hard he tried.

The sun was setting when Sam woke up. Everything was quiet, and Lily wasn't around, but he knew she was the one who tucked him in and slipped off his boots. Her gun belt and satchel were gone, so he knew his cousin had gone out.

Even though Sam was up, he still felt down. In fact, he didn't want to do anything, really. He was waiting for the moment he'd wake up and have everything that had happened between him and Arthur been a dream.

Internally, Sam groaned when he heard footsteps and coughing. It was Hosea, but he really didn't want to deal with people right now, especially the man who practically helped raise Arthur. At least he was kind enough to cover his mouth. There were too many patients back in his civilian days who wouldn't, despite his instructions and the signs in the clinic.

Sam's mind was already replaying what Hosea told all those weeks ago back in Clemens Point.

"Oh, and I'll beat you with your own gun if you cause him any undue distress. Hell, if you hurt him badly enough, maybe Dutch will get Bill to use those gelding tongs."

Surprisingly, when Hosea walked into the infirmary, he was holding a bowl of stew from the main campfire. He didn't say a word to him as he pulled a nearby chair over and sat close to Sam holding out the food for him. The lack of words was even more terrifying.

"They'll never find your body…" Sam's brain replayed.

Sam hesitated to take the stew Hosea was offering him, but the elder just took one bite himself and then pushed it his way. Sam just nodded and took the bowl, even though he wasn't really that hungry. "Depression isn't an excuse to stop caring for yourself," his uncle would say.

"Had a talk with Arthur," said Hosea. "Your cousin is very upset."

Sam stopped eating for a moment after only scooping some cooked meat into his mouth once. It tasted just like the camp chef's cooking, alright. "Yeah, I bet," Sam responded, flatly. "I guess I disappointed her, too."

"She practically tore Arthur a new one," said Hosea. "Probably would've done it for real if John hadn't stepped in."

Sam just kept eating. "Sorry," he said, between mouthfuls.

"Nah, I would've been mad if she hadn't reacted in such a way, but that's not why I'm here."

Sam glanced down at his gun belt. It was on the floor, near his feet. It wasn't like he could just reach for it now. He'd be dead before he could even think of touching his gun.

"Why did you do it, Sam?" said Hosea.

At first, Sam just shrugged. "It's a letter. I read others' mail all the time."

Hosea glared, eyes narrowing. "Arthur's letters, Sam?"

"It was from Mary!" Sam hissed. "The woman he used to… be with? Why was she talking to him?"

"Do you know anything about her?" Hosea argued.

Sam suddenly couldn't look Hosea in the eye. He couldn't bring himself to eat another bite, either. "She's beautiful… She… can… probably give Arthur more than I ever could…" he admitted with a mumble.

"Is that why you hid the letter?"

"What's the big deal?!" said Sam. "I gave it to him in the end, didn't I?"

"That's not the point!" Hosea stated, raising his voice. His tone made Sam noticeably flinch. "You lied and deceived Arthur by keeping it from him. And for what? Because you feared a woman you don't even know is better than you?"

"I-I…" Sam stammered.

"Yes?" Hosea asked impatiently.

"I was… I saved him from Colm!" Sam then snapped. "I took a goddamn bullet for him! Does that mean nothing about my feelings for him?!"

"Arthur never once asked you to do any of those things," said Hosea. "Even so, that doesn't mean he's obligated to let this slide! Now, stop dodging the question! Why did you keep the letter from him?!"

"Because I know he still cares about her!" Sam finally answered. He stood up and almost screamed. "There! Happy?!"

Hosea didn't respond. He knew it had to do with her, but Sam's answer sounded more like he was hurt than angry. Slowly, he sank back down into his seat on his cot and continued.

"Why does he still have her photo?" the young man then said. "I've asked myself so many times, trying to see it as just an old memory or that she's just a friend now at this point, but… when I asked him in New Hanover…" He gripped the bowl in his hands tighter, "he wouldn't answer me…." His voice seemed shaken. "So yeah… I kept it from him… because I was afraid that he'd leave me for her."

And then Hosea just chuckled. Sam looked at him, the heat of potential tears stinging his eyes and Hosea was… laughing?

Sam just shrugged. "Well, I guess he's going to do that now, anyway…"

"Sam, that's exactly why they went their separate ways," Hosea then replied.

Sam raised his eyebrows. "Huh?"

"Mary is a beautiful girl, but she's meek and stubborn. Well, I guess Arthur is pretty stubborn, as well. The point is, she was too loyal to her family, no matter what misery it caused her. Arthur wouldn't leave us no matter what. Sure, we ain't exactly right, but Arthur wouldn't in his right mind leave it for anything else."

"Not… even for love?" said Sam.

"Well, Mary and her family always looked down on him…" said Hosea. "Always thinking he weren't good enough, and well, Mary was kind of in that mind set, as well. Always wanting things from him and then…" Hosea leaned forward in his chair. "Well, Arthur spent some time away from the gang like he does all the time. Dutch got a little roughed up during a job and I sent Arthur a letter to come back as soon as he could. I don't reckon I know all the details, but when Arthur came back, he told me."

"What?"

"Well, Mary kept the letter from him for a while… before he found it."

Sam visibly squirmed. It was like a punch to the gut. "...Was she afraid he'd leave?"

"Something like that," Hosea responded. "They had an argument. Neither wanted to give up their lives. Arthur was an outlaw, but Mary's family were all over the place, obsessed with their status, despite the hypocrisy behind it. Drinking, gambling, you name it. It's not a good home, from what I hear, but Mary wouldn't leave it. In fact, she wanted Arthur to leave us."

Sam shook his head. "I… I wouldn't ask him to ever do that."

Hosea nodded. His glare softened. Maybe he wasn't angry with him anymore. "Well, there you go, eh?"

"How do you know he won't this time?" Sam then said. "He probably would, eventually."

"What?"

"Everyone does…" Sam grumbled, moving the food in his bowl with his spoon. "Dutch told me about the one time you left with that woman you were with? Uh, Bethany?"

"Bessie."

"Sorry."

Hosea cursed at himself internally. Dutch and his need to talk about things from long ago! Arthur was a bit mad at him on his return after Hosea left, which probably added to why he was upset with John when he left the gang for a while and came back.

"Sam, how do you know that Arthur will leave?"

Sam shrugged. "Because that's what always happens. Friends… family… They move… decide their lives are better without me in it… or… they die…"

Hosea looked on as Sam continued. The boy even set his half-eaten stew aside. He pulled out his pocket watch.

"Always… leaving…" Sam mumbled. "Even Lily, when Archie lost his father… Sure, I got lucky and she came back to me, but if things had been different, she definitely would have gone with him. Even my… mother." His thumbs ran over the tiny, engraved words. "She didn't even think I was worth sticking around for…"

Hosea looked at the boy. His eyes were half-lidded devoid of anything but misery. There was no malice in them, or behind his actions, he realized. They were those of a confused and tortured soul.

"Sam-"

"I've always asked myself why," Sam rambled on. His voice grew stern. "Is this Valentine's curse or what?!" he then snapped. "Why do they always leave?" His last words ended with almost a whisper. "And don't get me started on people always going on about my 'sticky fingers'. I never stole from friends or family and they knew it! It's never… enough." With that he crossed his arms holding on tighter as the sadness bloomed in his chest. "Please. Just tell me. What's wrong with me?"

"Sam…" Hosea reached out, placing a gentle hand on his lap. "It doesn't always have to do with you," he said, voice now gentle and slow. "We've had people in this gang come and go, as well. People just have their own lives and things they're dealing with."

Sam shrugged, but continued looking at the floor. "Lives that they think I'm not good enough to be a part of…"

Hosea shook his head. He kept his focus on Sam. It was enough to finally make the young man look at him. "That's not it at all and you know it. You can't control it."

"I want to, though!"

"And look where we are now."

And Sam fell silent. Tears began to well up in his eyes.

"When people leave you, it's not always because they don't love you," said Hosea. "Right now, you and Arthur need to be honest with each other."

Sam sniffled. He wiped one of his eyes. "I love him, Hosea."

The elder gave Sam's leg a pat. "I know." And with that, he reached for the stew. "Now finish up your dinner. We're going to talk to Arthur."

Mary wrote to me. Unfortunately, thanks to Sam, I didn't know about it until yesterday. Wanted to know why, but I was too angry to ask.

SHE WANTS TO SEE ME AGAIN.

I'm not sure what I'm going to do. What would Sam think if I went? What would Mary think if I didn't?

What fools we all are. What a fool I am.

Arthur glanced briefly at his journal that was just laying open on his bed. He didn't write much today, despite having a whole day to do so. Some time passed and while Sam continued to finish his dinner, Dutch was upstairs, having something of a similar conversation Hosea had with Sam, but to varying results.

"He did it out of love, Arthur," said Dutch.

"Ain't no excuse!" said Arthur.

"She's never approved of you, son."

"Who would?"

"Arthur, don't talk about yourself like that," Dutch scolded. "You always came back from seeing Mary in a sour mood, especially near the end."

Arthur sighed. That was true, but it wasn't the reason he was angry. "He…"

Knock! Knock!

"Come in!" Arthur called.

The door creaked open and Arthur sighed in relief when he saw Hosea walking in. He and Dutch hadn't been arguing in circles for almost half an hour.

Dutch never approved of Mary. Arthur believed it had to do with her upbringing. Her family represented everything he couldn't stand.

Arthur's heart dropped upon seeing Sam shyly shuffling behind the older man. He was staring at the dirty floors that were still covered in dust, dirt, foliage and other debris. It was like he had reverted back to when they first met.

"Hosea?" said Arthur.

"Ah, there you are, Old Girl," said Dutch. "Maybe you can talk some sense into our unruly son."

Hosea shook his head. "Tsk. There ain't no sense to talk into him!'

"Hosea!" Dutch was shocked, but all the older man had to do was hold out his hand to silence him. Then, he stood in the middle of the room.

"Honesty," Hosea then said, breaking up the awkward silence. "That's what got me and Bessie through the hard times. If we're gonna rob Saint Denis blind and go to Australia or wherever the hell Tahiti is, we can't be at each other's throats. He put his hand down, as if literally drawing the line. "Both of you have done wrong to each other and it don't matter who started it. Both of you are going to work through this together or I'll personally whoop both of you!"

"I was just-" Dutch was cut off, when Hosea turned around and started basically dragging Dutch to follow him. Despite Hosea's condition, the gang leader was taken back by his strength. He cursed under his breath, but followed him. Hosea had a way with words that always seemed to work on Arthur better than when Dutch tried. It annoyed him, but it was true.

Finally, it was just Arthur and Sam. They were alone once again. There was probably a chance that Dutch and Hosea were in the hallway in case things got out of hand. Nosiness wasn't a new thing in a camp of twenty-two people, so it didn't really matter who heard them at this point.

For a few minutes, neither man spoke. Sam, who would always glance and smile whenever Arthur approached, couldn't even look at him. Perhaps he truly felt awful for what he did. Arthur wished Sam didn't. It would have given him a reason to keep being mad, to yell, or to fight. But this? Sam didn't feel like he was worthy of looking at Arthur? A no-good outlaw, of all people?

Arthur let himself sigh and moved over a bit on his bed. He patted the space he left behind. "Come on," he said. "Don't feel like you have to keep your distance. We're outlaws, remember?"

It took a moment, but Sam's stiff legs eventually caved to Arthur's kindness and the younger outlaw made his way to the bed, before sitting down next to him.

Sam didn't put his hands anywhere but on the sides of himself, resting on the bed. Arthur looked over for a moment. He almost moved his hand to hold Sam's, but held back.

Talking was inevitable. Hosea's words still hung in the air, like it was echoing off the walls in both of their minds.

Honesty.

Arthur swallowed. "Why'd you do it, Sam?"

Sam finally opened his dry mouth. "Why are you mad about a damn letter?" is what Sam wanted to say. Honesty, though. He wouldn't get anywhere by escalating things.

"I… I was afraid."

"Afraid of what?"

Sam continued staring at the floor. "That… you'd leave me… for her."

Arthur finally looked at Sam's face. His lips were pouted slightly, eyes a bit red, despite being told he slept all day, and gazing downward. "And what made you think that?"

"It's… It's always been like that," said Sam. "People move, find other things, or better people, or… they die. Lily staying with Archie just made me remember Aunt Violet, Momma, Uncle Cliff, and him… Friends have left because of what I do, or they leave for something else and never bother to write, even when they say they will."

"And what's this have to do with Mary?" said Arthur. "It was a long time ago."

Sam gathered his hands in his lap. "You keep saying that…" he mumbled. "I can see why you liked her. She's a beautiful woman. In her letters, I can feel every emotion she puts into her words. I mean, you loving her wouldn't be illegal, for starters, she could give you a life away from all of this-"

"Sam-" Arthur spoke up.

Finally Sam gathered the courage to look at him. "I know she still likes you."

And Arthur was stunned into silence once again. He had known Mary for a long time, and they both knew this. Sam, however, got it from one letter read and had never even had a conversation with this woman. He could only guess his time as a thief gave him some kind of perception, like a predator waiting for hours as it stalked its prey.

"Arthur…" Sam said, after the pause. His eyebrows dropped and his fingers interlaced. "Just… please answer me." The younger man's voice shook. His lips trembled and he took a deep breath.

Arthur's heart felt like it dropped into his stomach at what Sam asked.

"Do you still… love her?"

It felt like someone just threw a bucket of ice on him. He was too angry to answer back in New Hanover, but there was no way out, now. Even if there was an exit, Hosea would whoop him if he tried to use it.

Honesty.

His answer was quiet, but Sam heard it as if he shouted in a giant concert hall. Lily already knew without him even saying anything.

"...Yes."

Honestly, Sam had a feeling, but it didn't make the blow any less painful. It was more painful than getting roughed up in the mud, dislocating a few fingers, a blow to the face and straight up getting shot. Still, he didn't cry. He was as still as a statue, in a daze.

Then, he felt warmth on his hand. Arthur's hand was around his fingers.

"But, I love you, too, Sam."

It was nice to hear, but the pain had already been inflicted. He didn't think he had done anything with her. Hell, the last time Arthur and Mary met, they weren't even together.

Even so, if Arthur did still have feelings for her, there was no way he could just make him stay away. He tried it with Lily and it only made things worse. No matter how painful it was, Sam knew he couldn't just hold him back, and he certainly wasn't going to make Arthur settle for him, just because they were already going steady.

Arthur wasn't much for words, but the silence now was deafening. It was torture to him.

"Please, say something," Arthur then said, almost pleading.

Finally, Sam found his strength and returned Arthur's grip, grasping his palm. His answer was also quiet, but Arthur heard it loud and clear.

"Find her, Arthur…"

All the color left Arthur's face. "Sam! This isn't-"

"I can't hold you back from seeing her, Arthur," said Sam. "I know that, now. I tried the same thing with Lily and it just made things worse. I do believe you when you say you love me, but you need to figure out what you want. Not me, not John, not Dutch or Hosea."

Arthur gulped. "What about you?"

"What did I just say?" said Sam. "For once in your life, think about yourself and figure out what you want." Sam held Arthur's hand with both of his. "After all the shit I did growing up in Valentine, I started thinking that my uncle didn't love me anymore, until the night he died."

"I'm not giving up my family. Dead or not."

Sam's shining eyes gazed into Arthur's. "If you don't find out how important you are to someone until after they're gone, then it's just too damn late." And with that, Sam let go of Arthur's hand. "No matter what conclusion you get to, I'll accept it."

Arthur just sat there, mouth agape. It was like when he and Dutch raced back to camp when they were still at Clemens Point. Of course, that was a much happier time. He didn't reach for Sam's hand again, or hold his shoulders, even though it looked like he really needed it. Frankly, he no longer felt worthy of that. Maybe he never did.

"...Thank-you," he said.

Sam forced a smile, even though he was actually in bits. He said what he said. He'd wait for him. For now, however, the two just sat in complete silence. However, something told the two men that Sam being accepting of whatever choice Arthur made in the end…

…was nothing more than a lie.

A/N: I'm not going to deny or just pretend I didn't see what the game implies. Despite all the bullshit, Arthur clearly still loves Mary. He's a good man, but he's not a perfect man. So, I wanted to explore that.

So, that's Chapter 48, ye…

Hosea was MVP in this chapter, though! xD

*Hides in the fortress of solitude*