Chapter 74
"And…here…we…go!"
The Joker
(The Dark Knight)
Eight months after the battle of Glast Heim…
Hardships come and go, we all should remember that. Nothing lasts forever; good things, bad things, they won't last forever. That's why no matter what happened, no matter how bad things look, just remember, those things aren't eternal. They will end someday, sooner or later. But they will end, definitely will.
So is the ordeal a certain thief is having right now. Inside the dark jungle when the moon is high on Gonryun, a thief, male, stands around 5'6 with pony tailed red hair, black eyes, and goggles on his head, could be seen running as fast as he could while panting for air. Two dozens Bloody Murderers are chasing him from his behind.
"Ukh, what did I do to deserve this?! Being chased by bunches of freaks!" The thief gives an opportunity for himself to look over his shoulder while running, "They're still chasing after me! This isn't…OW!"
The thief falls to the ground because he hit a tree, unnoticed by him because he was busy observing his behind instead of his front. "Ow, damn!" He quickly tries to stand up, but too late, one of the bloody murderers pulls him back and pins him to the ground.
"Oh, no!" The thief could only hope his death will be quick and painless when the other bloody murderers catch up with the one catching him.
"Give us the letter, mortal" The bloody murderer threatens him, "So, we can kill you right away"
"No way, sucker" The thief chuckles, "I may be weak, but I have a pride as Amatsu's Royalty messenger. So, you can either go kiss my ass or lick my dick before finding the letter, loser!"
"….Better yet" The bloody murderer has a worse idea than that, "We'll mutilate you, pieces by pieces, every inch of your flesh, alive. And I will start from your leg before my brothers join me"
"OK, that's bad" That's the only thing the thief could think of when he saw the monster raises his bloody knife to the air, ready to chop his leg off. But in a wink of a eye, amidst the bloody figures who smells like blood, the thief could smell something fragrant, something smells like thousands flowers blooming at the same time comes across the group of murderers.
And before he realizes it, the monster pinning him to the ground has already been cut into thirty four pieces, shocking not only himself but also the rest of the murderers. But they could see her, a figure, slowly emerges in front of them as the body of the sliced monster falls piece by piece. That figure…she is smiling. Her long hair wavers as the wind blows; her very presence intimidates her opposition, and the last but not the least, her golden eyes shine inside the darkness of night.
"Who is she?" The thief was so charmed by the figure, wondering who she truly is rather than what is she doing here or why did she help him, but a different story with the murderers. Their instinct told them that there is no way they would win against this girl, so they chose to flee. Too bad, another figure is targeting them.
When a feather, made of light, falls across his face, the thief tilts his head and looks above him to spot what appears to be an angel; a black angel with a pair of white light wings, hovering in front of the moon, wielding a long metal on his right hand. Turning the metal backwards, the angel targets the fleeing murderers who foolishly keep themselves in one group, making their selves an easier target for the angel to demolish.
"Now, I must bid you farewell" The angel shots a cannon from the backside of the metal, delivering a giant explosive bullet right among the murderers. And then, the sound of an explosion resounds throughout the woods, echoes even in the sky. All the murderers have been defeated, blown with that explosion.
Afterwards, the angel slowly descends from the sky. Seeing what just happened, the unlucky thief wouldn't have thought believe he could witness such unbelievable sight when his queen ordered him to deliver her mail three days ago…
Three days ago, inside one of the royalty residences in Amatsu…
The thief's POV:
My name is Takamori Kenji, 19 years old; the fourth son of Takamori family. For generations, my family has been serving the royalties in Amatsu as messengers. And we hold a high pride doing this job, because no other families were entrusted to do deliveries for Amatsu's royalties. Today, I will get my first assignment as the new messenger. Well, one thing that makes me worry about this job is…I'm a very unlucky man.
This bad luck has been staying with me ever since I was born. When my mom was giving birth to me, my leg was the first part of my body to come out instead of my head. I heard it took the doctors twelve hours to get me out of her womb.
When I was one year old, I slipped and hit my head when I tried to walk. And that made me stupid until now.
When I was two years old, I finally managed to say my first word. And you know what my first word was? Sissy…and because of that, my brothers keep calling me sissy until now.
When I was three years old, I played with a main gauche and stab my own head. And that made me even stupider then I already was…
When I was four years old, I got locked down in a basement chambers for more than twelve hours when I played hide and seek with my brothers. When they finally found me, I was unconscious…and I wed my pants…
When I was five years old, I started my training to become the thief I'm now. Unfortunately, during the first try of jumping to a tree, I fell, broke my leg, and needed to stay in hospital for three months.
When I was six years old, my father grew weary of me and banished me from the household. And that was the start of my journey throughout Amatsu. But, I got lost and eventually ended up back home.
When I was seven years old, I got beaten so bad that even my mom didn't recognize me when I tried to fight a skeleton soldier.
When I was eight years old, I got attacked by a hundred poring because I stepped on an angelring.
When I was nine years old, I became a thief for the first time, but when my job just got changed into a thief, I was robbed by a bunch of assassins…
When I was ten years old, I lost an appetite for a week because an orc lady kissed me…and that was my first kiss too…
But, fortunately…when I was eighteen years old, I had amnesia and forgot what happened to me in the last 8 years in my life…
Kenji is seen waiting lankily in the main hall of a certain luxurious Japanese styled house. "When will she come? I've been waiting for half an hour! Don't you know if you ask someone to come by nine in the morning, you should have come by half to nine?!" Kenji complains seeing Tsukihime-sama is yet to show herself, "I've heard that Tsukihime-sama used to be an insolent brat. Maybe, this kind of trait is what makes her late. Ukh, If I were born as a royalty, I would have…!"
BRAK!
The door suddenly opens and she passes, the new queen of Amatsu; Silky long hair, slanting eyes, graceful fingers, white soft skin; calm face; wearing what appears to be a very expensive kimono on her slender figure. Normally, any man would drool over her. But unfortunately, what appears in the outside could be different from the inside.
Kenji quickly bows when she appears, but the queen didn't bother showing him respect. "Keep bowing like that, I don't want you to look at me with your lanky eyes" That was the very first words she gave to him.
"Eh?! She is worse than I thought!" Kenji told himself, but he dares not disobeying her order.
"You're the new messenger, right?"
"Yes…Tsukihime-sama"
"Good, then I need you to deliver this letter to Gonryun before three days". This letter contains an invitation for Sagramore"
"What letter?"
Kenji slowly lifts his head to get a better view on the mission's objective, but Tsukihime-sama doesn't let him do so, "I said keep bowing down! Are you deaf?!"
"No, no! Beg your pardon!" The thief finds it really hard to deal with this one, "She wants me to deliver a mail without even bothering to let me look at it?! Man, she's weird!"
"I think you would need a little punishment for disobeying my order!" The queen surely is cruel, "Masuo! Come here, Masuo!"
Taking the opportunity to glance, Kenji spots a very muscular afro haired man, wearing hot pants and vest. His face looks like an okama with powders and make ups, not to mention his moustache and beard are even more horrible than his face.
"Good god almighty…and I thought all the monsters side Valdomir Kingdom…" Had Kenji wasn't strong enough to bear the sight of this hideous monster, his eyes would have popped out from his head.
"Let me introduce you to Okama Masuo" Tsukihime-sama evilly smiles seeing the peril Kenji is on, "He is the most famous okama in the underworld. If you were to disobey my order ever again or you fail to do this mission, you will have to marry him"
"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!" Kenji feels like living hell on earth, "I would have to marry him?! No way, man! No freaking way! Not in a trillion years! I would rather die a virgin than marrying a behemoth!"
"Um, he looks yummy" Masuo sounds so wanting, "Good luck in your journey, Kenji-chan!"
"Eaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaakh! He called me chan?! Disgusting!" Kenji cannot hold shivering in front of the creature from the deep sea, "My honor is at stake here! I will deliver that letter no matter what happens! Even if I have to lose my life; that would be better than spending the rest of my life with Satan himself!"
"One other thing, Kenji" Tsukihime-sama puts the letter beside Kenji before finishing and takes her leave, "If you really have to marry him, you will also have to join sorority house of okama for the rest of your life"
"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Kenji left in shock as Tsukihime-sama and Masuo leave him in the room, still beside the 'deliver or marry' letter, "Ok, that is it! If I fail to deliver this letter, I will commit a seppuku"
Kenji takes the letter and puts it on his thief pocket. So, with his life (and virginity) at the stake, Kenji goes to Gonryun…
Amatsu isn't too far away from Gonryun, maybe around 40 miles away. You can reach it in two days by walking, but a thief would arrive there faster, maybe in one day. Amatsu and Gonryun are bordered only by forests and mountains anyway. Using his speed, Kenji comfortingly does his assignment with no problem at all; jumping from one three to another, the thief progresses faster than he could think of.
"Good, this way, I wouldn't have to marry that ogre!" But journeying for more than an hour with legs would thirst anyone, including the thief, "But, I feel kinda thirsty, I should have brought myself some water"
Luckily (or maybe unluckily) for Kenji, he spots a little stall in the middle of the forests. He could also find some travelers having meals on it, so he assumed the stall is safe. "Better get some lunch before continuing the journey" Kenji stops at the stall and sits in an empty seats.
While waiting for the waiter to come, he observes the people around him, "Is it just me or they look…weird?"
The others guests, around twelve men, are big men with scars and look ill omened. "Wew, they all look scary. Wait…why are they looking at me like that? Why are they grinning? Why are they…approaching me with…knives on their hands?" The thief puts a really stupid face when the men surround him.
"Uh, hello guys. Can I help you?" Kenji starts feeling something isn't right with them.
"Yeah, you can help us" One scary looking man who seems to be their leaders speaks up, "By giving us your money and your other belongings. We can fool people pretty easily just by let them think this is a stall, not our home"
"Oh, crud. Just my luck…" Kenji tries to come up with something so he can escape from this peril, "Um…you are all…robbers, right?"
"No, we're bandits"
"What's the difference?"
"No difference, it's just….bandits sound cooler than robbers"
"Hey, I feel that way too! I'm also a thief, just like you guys!"
"So, what does that make any difference? We still want your belongings"
"No! First trick failed! Try the second one!" Kenji starts crying and bawling, much to the shock of the bandits (except the leader), "Wuaaah! Please don't rob me! My virginity is at the stake! If I cannot arrive in Gonryun in three days, I will have to marry a Frankenstein! Please, spare me!"
"A Frankenstein?"
"Yes! He's a hideous monster scarier even than Orc Lord! Just by looking at him, I felt like wanting to kill myself! I cannot imagine if I have to marry him!"
"What does that have to do with us?"
"Oh, how could you be so uncaring?! Can't you sympathize to me?"
"No"
"No?"
"No. Now, give us your belongings before we have to kill you"
"Time to run!" Kenji, using his speed, quickly gets passed the twelve men and run away, "See you, losers! I got yo…bkh?!"
Too bad for the unlucky man, he bumped into the thirteen man, a fairly large giant. "Oh, hi?" The thief tries to act stupid again, but the giant quickly grabs him and throws him back into the other bandits.
"You called us loser, didn't you?" The leader slowly asks the scared thief, "Get him, boys"
It took just a minute for the bandits to rob Kenji. He was left there in the stall with only his underwear…
"Ukh…I'm…done for…" The thief slowly crawls from the stall, "I'm…going to…commit a…seppuku. I don't want to…marry that Whoopi Goldberg rip off…"
But he just realized…his knife was also taken. "Noooooo! How could I be this unlucky?!" Now, the thief is protesting to God, "Oh, God! Do you really want me to live with the twin brother of Jabba The Hut that much?! I cannot even kill myself!"
Having finished his protest over something unclear, the thief finally settles down, "Alright, I gotta get those knife and mail back. So if I fail, I can still kill myself"
He quickly tracks down the bandits' path, because they haven't left for long so now is the right time. As a thief, tracking down one's path is a natural ability, especially because he has been journeying in this forest ever since he was little. And after half an hour of tracking down, he found them. They were taking a rest near the river.
"Found them! But how do I catch them? I'm not good in battle" The thief hides behind the bushes and thoroughly looks at the bandits, figuring out his plan, "I know! They are drinking from the river's water! If I poison the water, it will be much easier for me to get my clothes and belongings back! But, I only have this love potion from Dana…oh, heck! Who cares about them?!"
So, without further ado, Kenji poisons the river with love potion. What happens to the bandits...well, let's leave that unsaid.
Anyway, during the 'mating season', Kenji successfully regains his belongings. Now, with his thief uniform intact, the knife on his waist, and the mail on his hand; he is set and ready to go, "Have fun, losers!"
With the first obstacle seemingly gone, the thief hummed and sang along the way. By night, he was only ten miles away from Gonryun. But, it's night already, so he decides to sleep. "Better sleep now, I can continue the journey tomorrow" Kenji finds a spot behind a tree and sleeps. But, unknown to him, the mail slips from his pocket…and the wind blew it away…
The next day, the thief wakes up in the daylight, "Mm, I got a good sleep. Now, let's find something to eat before continuing the journey for this mail".
Kenji wants to check the mail in his pocket, but he soon learns the horrible truth, "What? Where is the mail?"
The thief checks deeper and deeper on his pocket, but since the wind blew the mail away last night, he couldn't find it, "Where is the letter?! Where is the letter?! I lost it!"
In desperation, the fourth son of Takamori family desperately searches his surrounding. But, he found nothing. The mail has gone for good. "Nooooooooooooooooo!" Kenji bawls again for the second time in two days, "Aaaaaaah! I will have to marry that guy! He's gotta be the father of the entire orc race in Lord of The Rings! I don't want to marry him! That's it! I'll commit a seppuku!"
The thief pulls out his knife and prepares to stab himself, but suddenly he heard someone commenting on his doing from his behind.
"Look, Thompson. Someone is going to commit a suicide"
"Super right, Thomson. Let's watch it carefully from here"
The thief looks over his shoulder and sees two snipers watching him from the bushes, "What are you two doing there?"
"We are watching you killing yourself. Right, Thomson?"
"Super right, Thompson"
"You're not going to stop me?"
"Super no. Right, Thompson?"
"Super right, Thomson"
"These guys are weird" Well, Kenji is yet to see the best out of them, as Marcus emerges with Gregory the black falcon.
M: What is happening, Thompson and Thomson?
T: Someone is going to kill himself, leader. Right, Thompson?
T: Super right, Thomson.
M: What?! Where? Where?
Thompson and Thomson point at Kenji.
M: Oh, there he is! Do it! Do it!
G: (Pecking Marcus) Marcus, you idiot! Don't encourage someone to kill himself!
M: Oh, right! (Looking at Kenji) Don't do it! Don't do it!
K: What is wrong with you people?! I'm in trouble here!
G: What kind of trouble?
K: I lost a letter I must deliver! If I cannot deliver that letter by tomorrow, I must marry a humpty dumpty!
M: A humpty dumpty? Does that even exist?
K: It does! And a horrible one at that!
M: OK. We will help you!
K: You will?
M: We will
K: But…how?
M: Well…I know! Gregory, sniff on him!
G: What? Why?
M: He must have brought the letter with him before this, right? That means, the mail got his smell! If you sniff him, you can follow his smell and find the mail!
G: Marcus…I'm no dog and you are not clever! I cannot follow smells!
M: But, his life is at the stake here! Don't you want to help him?!
G: Then find a dog!
M: Where?
G: How would I know?!
T: Leader, me and Thompson got a good idea. Right, Thompson?
T: Super right, Thomson.
M: What idea?
T: Wait a minute. Hey, thief! Do you know what's inside the letter?
K: Yeah! It's an invitation!
T: Then, we would just have to rewrite it.
M & K: That's a good idea!
So, the four try to rewrite the letter.
K: What should we write?
M: Let's start with…"Hey, how are you doing?"
G: Marcus, we're not writing to a pen pal. This is an invitation. Can't you even think of something right?
K: Then, what about…"Good day"?
G: That sounds more proper.
M: And I'll continue it with…"Come to my place" and "Bye"
G: What?! What's the meaning of the letter then?! This isn't a joke!
K: What about…"I invite you to come to my place and stay for as long as you need"?
G: Not bad, but we must add some more openings.
M: Like, "I love you. I want you to be mine"?
G: Marcus, this is not a love letter!
T: Our leader is super lame. Right, Thompson?
T: Super right, Thomson.
M: I'm not lame!
G: Yeah, he's not lame. He's just incredibly stupid.
M: I'm incredible? Gee, thanks!
G: See what I was talking about?
K: Hey, what about the letter? What's next?
G: Oh, yeah. Don't forget your point.
M: Write…"If you don't come, I will force you to marry an okama"
G & K: No!
Gregory pretty much led them writing the letter. After spending six hours, the letter is finished.
K: Yaaaay! It's finished!
M: Well done!
T & T: Yippee!
G: Finally…
K: Thanks, guys! I couldn't have done this without you! Now, I don't have to marry the reincarnation of Davey Jones!
M: Good. Now, let's find something to eat before we take our leave.
The four enjoys their lunch before parting ways. Kenji continues his journey in a demon speed, because he was held back for six hours because of the letter. By night, Kenji is only three miles away from Gonryun.
"Ah, I would arrive tomorrow. Now, I will get some sleep. And this time, I will make sure this letter won't be vanished by tomorrow morning" Kenji puts the letter inside his goggles before got to sleep.
The next morning, Kenji checks the letter before having a breakfast. With no obstacle on his way, he continues his journey. "Only three miles away to Gonryun, I can arrive in time and I won't have to marry The Incredible Hulk!" The thief cheerfully smiles, but suddenly, the last obstacle shows up.
"Wait up!" Someone yelled at him from behind. Taking a look on who's the man, Kenji finds the leader of the bandits torn in rags.
"You again?! Wahahaha, just had your own midsummer night of love, huh?" Kenji couldn't hold himself back from laughing.
"This is all because of you!" The leader shows him an axe, "I will kill you!"
"Oh, no!" Kenji quickly runs off, but the leader chases him. Kenji runs, heading towards Gornyun with full speed despite the relentless attempt from the leader to catch and kill him. The two ignore their exhaustion. It was amazing how they could keep running and running for more than an hour. The dusk starts falling, darkens the sky; but the two still keen on continuing the high speed chase.
"Damn! He just won't give up, huh?!" Kenji couldn't believe the leader of the bandits has been chasing him this far. But he's only two minutes from Gonryun, and he's sure he will receive help once he gets there. But the journey wasn't that easy, because suddenly he heard the leader screamed behind him.
"Huaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaakh!"
Kenji quickly looks back and witnessed…his dead body cut in pieces. Two dozens of Bloody Murderers are standing behind him. There's no need for a genius to tell him who just killed the leader of the bandits.
"So…why did you kill him? What do you want?" Kenji prepares to run again.
"Hand over the letter" One of the murderers said, "So, we can give you a painless death"
"Valdomir has realized about this alliance, huh? Is that why you're after this letter?" The thief smirks, "Sorry, but if I hand you this letter, I will have to marry Satan Morroc look alike. So…no"
And then he runs, resulting in the murderers chasing him…
Back to present time…
The angelic figure lands beside the swordswoman, taking a look at the thief.
"See, Alexandria?" The angel proves himself right, "The messenger is in trouble, right?"
"Good guess, Elraven" The swordswoman smiles before she offers her hand to help Kenji stand, "Can you stand? You're the messenger from Amatsu, right?"
"Right" Kenji accepts the help and stands, "I have a letter from Amatsu for Sagramore"
"I'm Elraven" The gunslinger introduces himself and his companion, "And she is Alexandria, Sagramore's leader"
"Oh, thank you for helping me"
"Never mind" Fio replies, "Shall we get inside our place? We can talk properly there"
And with that, the three goes inside Gonryun. Signaling, that the new adventure is about to begin.
Phew, I hope this is a proper redo for chapter 74! Hope u like it! And, I hope I won't do unnecessary mistake anymore! (^^)