WChapter 86
"To be or not to be"
William Shakespeare
Emilio's family reference can be found in omake in Ch. 79.
The characters name will undergo a certain change in the play. Have fun guessing who's playing who, OK?
This chapter is the first part of the play and there will be a bonus chapter down below.
This is my first ever parody chapter, so I hope I don't blow it off. If u does not feel content with the chapter, let me know so I can improve in the future.
Notes for the play: The narration will be narrated by Hikari. There will be some interactions in the audience and backstage where the players wait. The voiceover for the magic mirror is by Fenrir. And the whole chapter is a parody, so don't be surprised to see weirdness in this chapter (why am I talking like this whole story is normal?)
Anyway, enjoy!
At long last, in the night of the play, inside the performers' room in the hall…
"Once upon a time, in a land far far away, lived three wizards who were always arguing which one of them is the most…perverted?! What?! Who the hell wrote this?! Oh, oh, what?! It should keep going?! Ow, heck! Anyway, the three magicians lived in a mountain near Aldebaran…"
"Good morning, Thomsonius" Thompsonius, dresses like a high wizard, greets his twin brother.
"Morning, Thompsonius" Thomsonius, the other twin, replies, "Where is Tyraelius? Shouldn't he be here?"
"I'm here, o brothers!" Tyraelius pops out of nowhere with both his hands raised to the air, "It's morning already, o brothers! Shall we go to the mirror now, o brothers?!"
"We shall, Tyraelius. Right, Thomsonius?"
"Super right, Thompsonius"
The three goes to a room with a round magic mirror in the middle of the room.
"O mirror!" Tyraelius summons the magic mirror, "Which one of us is the most perverted?!"
"A shepherd on a village near Einbrochth. His name is Helraven. Seek him, and ask himth. Whoever he chooseth shall be the most pervertedth"
"Then, let's do it, o brothers!"
"Thus, the three perverts seek Helraven the shepherd. And they find him tending his sheep. So, they confront him"
"Ello, Helraven!" Helraven hears something from his above and finds the three floating perverts, "We are here to ask you of one thing"
"What might that thing be?" Helraven sees them land and then Ty speaks up.
"We would like you to hear out stories, and then we want you to judge, which of us is the most perverted, o brother!"
"What? Perverted?" The shepherd rolls his eyes and escapes an exasperated sigh before responding, "Well, let's hear them out first"
"Hear my story first o brother!" Not wanting to lose the title, Tyraelius gives a really good offer. Perhaps the best, "Do you happen to know the name of the swordswoman Lady Fiore, one of the lord knights of Aldebaran town?"
"Yes, she is famous because of her excellent swordsmanship and her first class beauty, why?"
"If you choose me…" Tyraelius grins while glancing at Fio and Frea who are watching from the backstage with several other players, "I'll make her yours"
"Whaaaaaaaat?!" Not only Hel, but everyone on the backstage (including the mentioned lady) drops their jaw upon hearing Ty's offer.
And this makes the backstage erupts,
Hikari: Emily, you prick! How dare you change the script we agreed on!
Emilio: How do you know that?!
Hikari: Your evil grin says it all!
Emilio: Well, there's nothing you could do about it now, huh?!
Felicia: This is an unexpected turn of event…
Fio: Aaaaaah! What am I supposed to do?! My face is hot as hell! I need to hide my face before anyone sees it! Oh, wait! If El sees me, maybe he will pick me!
Fenrir: What did I tell you Frea? He will dump you someday, right?
Frea: No, he won't!
Kirigi: I bet 100,000 zenny Elraven will pick the princess.
Wendy: I bet 100,000 zenny Elraven will pick our leader
Gregory: This whole thing is ridiculous…
Iris: Please god, don't let him pick Fio! That no good prick isn't good enough for her!
Marcus: What happened? What happened?! I don't understand the whole thing; can someone please fill me in?!
George: Don't ask me, Marcus! Do you think I understand what is going on?!
Gregory: Scratch that. These three are more ridiculous.
Even the audience gets excited about this;
Gen Ed: This is getting interesting.
Mikoto: I bet 500,000 zenny he won't pick the princess.
Gen Ed: I bet 500,000 zenny he will pick the princess.
Olivia: Is it just me or El has always been surrounded by girls but not in a good way?
Eremes: But, you were not one of them, right?
Olivia: Ow, don't be so jealous like that! El's cool and all, but he's not my type! He's too insensitive for me!
Dee: Ew, kinky! Lord Eremes is being jealous!
Eremes: I'm not, this is a mere concern!
Billy: A concern for you love?
Eremes: No!
Jenna: Denial.
Eremes: I'm not denying anything!
Joe: Second denial.
Eremes: Ow, quiet you!
Helen: Dear, is it just me or that Helraven guy looks like someone we know?
Howard: It's not just you, Helen. I concur.
Edward: He kinda…looks like me!
Dana: He couldn't be my long lost brother could he?
Helen: Impossible, Dana. Your long lost brother was named Elraven not Helraven. There's no way it could be him.
Howard: Yea, if it was him…heh, what a small world Rune Midgard is!
Well, actually it is.
Back to the stage…
"Wait a freaking minute! I don't remember the story goes like this in the practice!" Hel realizes something is going on with the play. Starting from the perverted parts, and now this. The shepherd casts his fiery attention to the backstage…and finds Emilio grins evilly, looking at him with a victorious look. The biggest evil grin he has ever witnessed in existence, "Emilio, you bastard! You changed the script, huh?! Damn, now what am I suppose to do?!"
Before the shepherd resolves, Helraven feels a piercing sensation on his neck and quickly turns back…to find the last two nails for his coffin gazing at him backstage, in the form of the two familiar maidens in his eyes. Fio, her face dead red, is looking at him with a very hopeful 'pick me over the old hag…I mean, goddess!' look. Standing beside her, Satan Morroc…I mean Frea, is gazing at Helraven with a 'you know what is going to happen tonight if you choose the princess over me!' gaze.
"OK, let's get this straight…" Hel takes a long deep breath before thinking the possible outcome of his decision, "What will happen if I pick either one of them? If I pick Alexandria, Satan Morroc…I mean, Frea will get mad at me for sure. This show will go on, but maybe my life won't. Frea will kill me, and I don't think even Dionysus is going to be much of a help. But if I pick don't pick Alexandria, she would give me the taste of her Four Lionhearts…or worse her mighty uppercut and I'll end up meeting Pluto Nash again. This time, maybe for a long ass time. If I don't pick both, the whole Amatsu would riot and kill me…wait, why is every option ends up with my death?! This isn't fair!"
"So, what's your answer going to be, o brother?!" Ty, getting impatient with Hel, calls for the final decision.
"Uh…I choose…" Out of desperation, Hel moves his index finger and points at…Ty, "Your offer"
"Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! I'm the most perverted of all!" Ty goes bananas after the announcement, "Na, na, na, I won! I won! I'm a true pervert! No one is more perverted that me!"
Yes, you're so right.
"Aw, this sucks! He hasn't even heard our offer! Right, Thomsonius?"
"Super right, Thompsonius"
Hel nervously turns over his shoulder to witness Satan Morroc…I mean, Frea slicing the wall with a giant knife plus a 'You, me, in my room, tonight!' look.
And at the same time, the backstage erupts again;
Fen: See?! What did I tell you?! He dumped you, right?!
Fre: Shut up, Fenrir!
Fio: (Without actually saying it, giving a look at Felicia) He picked me! He picked me!
Fel: (Doing the same) Well, he will die whatever option he picked, so I guess he just want to die a good death after having fun with you. Anyway, congrats.
Emi: See? It's not as bad as you think it would be, right?
Hi: Ukh, we still have to watch this till the end!
Ki: I won! I won!
We: Tsk!
Geo: I really don't understand what's going on…
Ir: Nooooooooooo!
Mar: Seriously, what is going on?! Can someone fill me in?! Hello?! Anybody here?!
Gre: These three are hopeless.
The same is going on with the audience…
Gen Ed: My, oh my, the beauty of love…or is it? By the way, I won, dear.
Mikoto: Tsk! I will win next time!
Gen Ed: You know, your eyes and that losing part of yours went to Emilio.
Olivia: Wow, El picked Fio!
Minhe: Yaaaaaaaaaay! The princess is going to have a baby!
Back to the stage…
Despite the cheering he got from the crowds, Hel puts a gloomy face knowing what would become of himself when he meets Satan Morroc tonight, "OK, since I picked you, I demand you to fulfill your promise now"
"Easy, o brother. Making her falling in love with you is easy" Ty actually realized the crush of the lord knight long ago, so he got his own personal idea for this mater, "All I need you to do is…to steal her belonging, o brother!"
Meanwhile, the viewers...
Gen Ed: El is a ladies' man.
Mikoto: I beg to differ. He's in so much trouble because of the ladies, I think.
Gen Ed: That doesn't make him less of a ladies' man.
Minhe: Was that the princess who knocked him underground? I couldn't see it.
Olivia: No way, kid. Fio loves El too much to do that.
Minhe: You knew the princess?
Olivia: Sure thing. I'm Olivia.
Minhe: I'm Minhe. Nice to meet you.
Olivia: Hm, maybe you would make a wonderful friend with my guys. Would you want to meet them?
Minhe: Sure!
Back to the stage…
"Do you know the silver headband she wears on her head, o brother?!"
"Yes"
"That would be fine, o brother!"
"Hm, so I need to steal her headband and then…"
"Give it to me, o brother! With the right spell she's all yours, o brother!"
"OK, I'll do just that"
"Deciding he would steal Lady Fiore's silver headband, Helraven comes down to Aldebaran. Lady Fiore resides in a small palace within the territory of Aldebaran's Guild Area and she has several knights guarding her place at night. Albeit, Helraven successfully sneaks into her room unnoticed…
Helraven carefully steps inside Lady Fiore's room; it's an expensive girl looking bedroom filled with girly stuffs, especially monster dolls. Hugging a baphomet doll with her, Lady Fiore is soundlessly sleeping on the bed in the middle of the room, covered in a blanket. The silver headband is still intact on her head.
"Good, I'll just steal it really fast and then leave this place" Approaching the bed, El extends his arm to reach the headband. But when his hand is only an inch away, suddenly Lady Fiore grabs it and stops him at once, "Eh? What is she doing?"
Still with her eyes closed, Lady Fiore grabs her Balmung from behind her blanket and slowly unsheathes it from its scabbard, "Hm…what is this ugly…thing I'm grabbing…with my hand? It's as…hard as a spear…maybe if I cut it…off it will go away…"
"What the heck?! She's raving on her sleep!" Hel tries to free his arm but Lady Fiore wouldn't let it go.
"Oh, I almost forgot one thing!"
The narrator surprises Hel with her voice, "What thing?!"
"Lady Fiore suffers from acute somnambulism. In other word, sleepwalking. Because of her illness she's been accused for several murders in town, although she was cleared of all charges because of her importance to Aldebaran. She's dangerous while sleeping just like when she isn't sleeping. So, you might want to be careful and watch your step"
"Are you joking me?! Now, she's going to cut off my hand!" Hel looks at his right hand, and it's already off. Blood is dripping from the edge of Balmung (and Lady Fiore looks pleased), "Forget it, she already cut off my right hand"
"She did?"
"Yes"
"Well, you might considering to get yourself out of her room then"
"Why?"
"All her murders are actually mutilations in a very gruesome way. If I were you, I'll get out of there"
"Why didn't you tell me earlier?!" Hel watches in horror when Lady Fiore, still with her eyes closed, swinging her sword in a rapid pace to his direction. His attempt to evade the attack proves fruitless because his inferior speed compared to her. Hel got slashed on his face before receiving a stab on his shoulder which sends him to the floor. Trying to grasps his way out, the shepherd sneaks a glance to his attacker…and spots a somewhat pleased mischievous smile on her face, "No way! She's doing this on purpose?! Could this be the woman's scorn she told me earlier?! Great! I'm doomed!"
Hel attempts to run away but Lady Fiore chases him and throws another slash which almost sliced his back. Even with her eyes closed she is still pretty dangerous. But too bad, Hel slips and falls to the floor again. Before he got any opportunity to rise and run again, Lady Fiore stabs his leg before proceeding to stab him numerous times in his torso. Hel desperately tries to get the sword out but Lady Fiore fiercely stomps him a dozen times, stopping his struggle. Even the audience is silent seeing the violent act. And if you read her face, Lady Fiore is clearly enjoying this. Grabbing his collar and forcefully brings him up, Hel can see the mighty fist of fury…I mean, the uppercut. Now, Hel knows why hell hath no fury over a woman's scorn.
"Stop it! Please, stop this!" Hel pleads for his life, "I'm sorry for what happened earlier, alright? It was all part of the script! If you want to kill someone then kill Emilio, not me! He wrote the whole thing!"
"But it was you…who read…the whole thing…" Lady Fiore responds with another rave, "It was you…who opened…the gate…of hell…"
"No, no! You cannot do this! If you send me to the sky again then the play won't continue!"
"It will…because…this is also…part of the script…" The last statement sends chills down to Hel's spine, "See you around…prick…"
DUAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
"The first attempt to steal Lady Fiore's headband failed after Lady Fiore, in her sleep (debatable), sent Helraven to the sky. Helraven returned to the earth after exactly three hours, and then, in his bloodied and beaten condition, he tries to find another way to steal Lady Fiore's headband"
"Ukh, how am I supposed to steal her headband if she suffers from somnambulism?! This is ridiculous!" Hel complaints to none about the current situation he's in. But, he's quick to blame another person, "Hey, Ty! You were the one who put me into this mess in the first place! Get down here from wherever you are so we can settle this like a man!"
"I'm here, o brother!" Ty descends from above, looking worried over Hel's chance to win Lady Fiore's heart, "Worry not, o brother! I have another idea to help you, o brother!"
"What idea?"
"If you took a good look on her room, she fancies monster dolls and decorates her room with them, right o brother?!"
"Yes"
"My idea is for you to disguise as a jumbo sized doll in her room, o brother! When she was not paying attention during her activities, you can sneak out and steal the headband. How does that sound, o brother?!"
"All right…but into what doll should I disguise?"
"Hm…how about life sized Doppelganger doll, o brother?! That would suit your height just fine, o brother!"
"OK, let's do that"
"Disguising Hel as a live sized Doppelganger doll, Ty plays along by purposely delivering a present for Lady Fiore. It was Irise, Lady Fiore's head maid who accepted it"
"Milady, someone sent you a wrapped present. But, no clued on who's the sender" Irise, having the role as the head maid of the house, politely informs her employer, "Shall I open the present, milady?"
"Present? This isn't on the script…Fine, open the present please" Lady Fiore watches in silent seeing Irise slowly opening the wrapped present. Her face tells whoever sees it that she is trying to figure out who send the present in the first place, but it changes soon when the live sized doppelganger doll is revealed to be the present, "Wow, a live sized doppelganger doll…"
"It looks…kinda real…" Irise too cannot hold her surprise, "Who sent this present, I wonder? One of your admirers, milady?"
"Perhaps, but I could care less about that at the moment" Admiring the doll, Lady Fiore starts caressing its head and hair, "Irise, tell the guards to bring this one to my room. Let's see what we can do with it tonight"
"Right away, milady"
"After the guards bring the doll to her room, Lady Fiore examines it for a little longer with the help of Irise"
"What do you think, Irise? This doll really looks real and good, right?"
"Yes, milady. Would you want me to order the search to find whoever sent this present?"
"Mysterious man, eh? I kinda like that" The statement brings a concern inside Irise's mind, "It makes you wonder what kind of man gives me this"
"Milady, I'm not trying to argue with you, but…" Here comes the concern from Irise, "Why do you think it was a man?"
"Oh Irise, who would understand a woman better than a man?"
"Well…what if the man is insensitive, one feet taller than you, five years older than you, has a dark hair which cover his ears, wearing a glasses, and a total moron when it comes to romance?!"
"Because that kind of man sounds familiar, I guess I can live with that" Clearly an unwanted reply for the maid, "OK, Irise. I'm hitting the bed right now, good night"
"Good night…milady" Irise walks out with a bitter expression on her face, vowing to herself again, "Ukh, that gunslinger jerk! How dare he influence my beloved Fio that much! I believe the doll has something to do with him! Fine, I'll stay on guard inside Lady Fiore's room to see if something suspicious comes up!"
"Finally, the dark stillness of night embraces the earth one more time. And that's when Hel makes his move"
"Alright, now time to kick some action" Inside the live sized doll, Helraven slowly heads to Lady Fiore's bed, hoping this time the somnambulism won't occur again.
"With hoping the somnambulism won't happen tonight, Hel makes his way to Lady Fiore"
"OK, here we go…" Hel quietly and carefully stretches his arm to reach the silver headband on Lady Fiore.
"He is very close now…"
"Here I come…" Hel's hand is only centimeters away from the headband.
"He's gonna get it!"
"Hey, will you stop that already?!" Hel pulls back and yells at the narrator (Hikari), "You're disturbing my job! You will wake her like that!"
"Well, what am I supposed to do?! I'm the narrator; I have to narrate the story!"
"But, not that loud! If you wake her up, I'll end up getting killed again!"
"What am I supposed to do? Whisper?!"
"That's a thought!"
"Uh…what is that noise?" Lady Fiore suddenly wakes up because of the ruckus. Hel and Hikari instantly shut their mouth. The shepherd looks around him to hide, but he doesn't have much time seeing Lady Fiore is looking at him, so he pretends to be like a doll and stops moving.
"Hey, what is the doll doing here?" Lady Fiore curiously approaches the doll and looks at it real close, "Is he moving of his own? I don't recall placing him right next to my bed…"
"Oh, damn! Thanks to the get laid princess my cover is blown!" Hel grunts to himself inside the doll.
"You're not some man disguising as a doll, aren't you?" A question which kinda true from Lady Fiore, "I'm sure you was speaking just now. You cannot fool me"
With his cover blown, Hel decides to play along rather than going to the sky again, "Well, um…actually, I'm a talking doll!"
"A talking doll?" Lady Fiore doesn't seem to be surprised at all, "You're not a man disguising as a doll, are you?"
"No, no! Of course not! What kind of a man would disguise as a doll and act not like one?! That's just stupid! I have intelligence, you know!"
"Prove it"
"Um, sorry? What did you say?"
"I said prove it. The intelligence you were stating just now" Lady Fiore distances herself with the doll, "I want you to prove yourself as a real talking doll with intelligence, not a disguising man"
"OK…" Hel hopes the challenge isn't too complicated, "How do you want me to prove it?"
"Answer my three questions. If you can get them right, you're a doll. If you can't, I'll have you checked thoroughly"
"All right. I accept the challenge"
"First, what is the name of Japan's largest river?"
"Um…Amazon!" Hel smirks and loudly tells his answer…only to find Lady Fiore's face grows even more suspicious, "Did I get it wrong?"
"So wrong. Amazon is in Brazil, not Japan" Lady Fiore sits on her bed and taps her fingers on the wall, secretly warning the doll not to play dumb with her, "Second question, what is the name of the world's highest peaks?"
"Ukh, I shouldn't have skipped the geography class with Emilio during high school! Now, I'm in a big trouble!" Hel curses his own sin in the past. But, he chooses to answer regardless, "Um…Mount Huoyan!"
"Are you out of your mind? It's Himalaya" Now, her voice doesn't sound too friendly alright, "The third question…who bombed Nagasaki on August 9, 1945?"
"Ow, now a history question! I shouldn't have skipped the history class to make love with Diana…wait, who's Diana? I didn't make love with her! And who's this Diana, anyway?!"
"I'm waiting…" Lady Fiore displays a piercing stare which shivers the shepherd disguising as a doll. He's in a real deep shit now.
"Think, think, think, think! Nobunaga Oda? No, no, it cannot be him! Rie Kugimiya?! Nah, there's no way it can be her! Minister Hashimoto?! Kira Yamato?! Athrun Zala?! Godzilla?! Who?! Who, dammit?! Who?!" In a pitiful effort to get the answer right, Hel shouts the answer in desperation, "Ifrit!"
For a moment, quietness fills the entire room.
"Ifrit?" Lady Fiore giggles, "Are you sure about that?"
"Y…Yes"
"Congratulations! Your answer is true!" Lady Fiore gives a falls hope.
"It's true?" Hel smiles inside the doll.
"True…ly truly wrong!" Now his heart is broken, "How could you say Ifrit?!"
"Uh…I know, I mean Ifrit wasn't supposed to be there, right?" Hel escapes a disappointed sigh.
But the reply is perhaps one of the most surprising ever, "No! I mean Ifrit is such a gentle caring loving gracious person! No way he could do such horrible thing like that! He wouldn't even hurt a fly!"
"I beg your pardon?!" Hel nearly dislocates his jaw, "Ifrit is such a gentle caring loving gracious person?! Wouldn't even hurt a fly?! What the heck?! Are you insanely insane?! Ifrit is the biggest craziest vilest psychopath I've ever seen in my entire life in the battlefield! He killed for no reason at all and enjoyed seeing people's face before they died! Wouldn't even hurt a fly my feet! He would consume the whole Rune Midgard if he could! That guy knows no stopping at all! This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!"
Frankly, Lady Fiore doesn't take that manner as a good one, "How dare you talk back to me like that! So, you're not a doll at all!"
"Eh?" Hell suddenly got reminded of his first objective disguising, "But…"
"Silence! I don't want to hear you speaking anymore!" It's hard to beat this chick, huh?
"Huh? That's cruel! You shouldn't give me false hope like that!" Hel takes one last offense for that.
"I'll find out about you. Irise!"
"Yes, milady!" Irise enters the room quickly in no time. Well, she's been waiting in front of the door the whole time, anyway.
"Wow, you're fast" But that's not the concern right now, "Irise, I want you to check this doll and tell me if you find something weird with it. I'm starting to think he's a man disguising as a doll"
"Yes, milady" Irise takes this chance to observe the doll thoroughly. After five fair minutes, she comes to a conclusion, "Milady, I'm not trying to sound rude, but this doll is weird in a way"
"Explain"
"He kinda looks…alive" Irise locks her eyes with the doll's. Unknown to both girls, the man inside the doll is growing weary of the silent pose, "I hear some breathe from inside the doll"
"Hm, I agree. This doll moved from behind the drawers to beside my bed. And then spoke to me for several minutes" Lady Fiore gleefully smiles and starts unsheathing her Balmung, "I'm sure now that this doll is actually a man disguising as a doll"
"What are you going to do to it, milady?"
"Stab it several times. If it gives some kind of reaction, I want you to bury this doll alive with anyone inside it in the backyard" Lady Fiore twirls her sword, "If the doll doesn't make any reactions…I won't stop till it does"
"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!" Hel couldn't believe what he just heard, ""How could you be so cruel?! Are you still mad at me?!"
"Can I suggest something, milady?"
"Go ahead, Irise"
"If you want to stab him, why don't you start with his groin? It's a good place to check he's a man or not"
"Thank you, Irise. I shall do that"
"Ah, fuck!" Hel moves, and of course the doll moves too, much to the girls' surprise.
"Catch him!" Lady Fiore orders her maid to make a move as she herself chases the doll. Irise quickly calls the guards to catch the running doll. The doll makes his way to the first floor in the house by jumping around the corner of the stairs and quickly heads to the entrance.
Unfortunately three guards show up from the entrance and hold his step. The doll attempt to retreat backward but the stairs is filled with more guards, with Lady Fiore and Irise not far behind them.
"Guards, seize him!" Lady Fiore orders her guards to dispatch the doll and they do so.
"I should have brought my guns here….wait, I know!" In a desperate attempt to not letting himself get caught, Hel summons his light sphere and unleashes his flash grenade. Successfully blinding his chasers temporarily and give him the needed time to escape through the entrance.
"Get him, get him!" Rubbing her eyes to regain her sight, Lady Fiore loudly orders her guards to finish their job. And with the guards all gone from the house, Lady Fiore is now alone with Irise, "Tsk, he's gone!"
"Who could that be, milady?"
"I don't have any idea, Irise. But for an admirer, that man sure is a petty one" Lady Fiore, despite her discontent, quietly sheaths her sword, "Tell the guards to increase the security. I don't want to see any other man disguising as a doll coming inside this house ever again"
"Yes, milady" Irise feels pleased with the way things develop. As Lady Fiore goes back to her room, she secretly celebrates her absurd victory.
"Because of his own foolishness, Hel failed to steal the headband again. So, he decides to kill himself. And then Rune Midgard lives happily ever after"
Clearly that's now how Hikari supposed to be narrating, and Hel takes cheap shot at that one, "You can't narrate worth a damn! Somebody replace her now!"
"OK, I've had enough of his insults! I'll go down there and kill him by myself! Hey, hey! What is this?! Let me go! Let me go! I want to kill him for disrespecting me! Let go of me!"
And then for quite a while, no one make sounds from the narration. No one is sure what happens, but a new narrator quickly takes over,
"We're sorry for the little troubleth with narrationth. I, the magic mirrorth, we'll take over from hereth"
"What shall I do now? The audience is tired of waiting!" Hel doesn't really care whether the narrator is new or not. He just wants to get this over with.
"OK, OK. In the next sceneth, Hel meets Tyraelius to find one last solution for the problemth"
"Ty, I want you to take the responsibility of giving me a hard task like this!" Hel quickly protests to the wizard, "My last attempt failed because the knocked up princess! And her maid named Irise got some good sight too!"
"No worries, o brother! I still got one last plan, o brother!"
"This better be good"
"Of course! Hear me out, o brother!" Ty proposes his final plan, "Do you know Lady Fiore and her maid, Irise, like to take bath together in the evening inside Lady Fiore's private bathhouse, o brother?"
"Together…" Hel's mouth forms an O as he starts imagining things, "Wow, that's kinda…erotic"
"I knew, but that's not our objective. We're here to steal the headband, o brother!" Ty himself wants to imagine things, but he realized this isn't the right time, "Whenever she takes bath, Lady Fiore usually places her headband not far from the hot spring pool along with her clothes. We will sneak into her private bathhouse tomorrow evening. If something unwanted happens, I'll distract her and her maid attention while you go get the silver headband of hers. Got it, o brother?! This is probably your last chance, o brother!"
"OK, let's do this plan of yours" Hel eerily smiles, "Hehehe, something inside me tells me I'm into something good"
"With the plan all said and doneth, the two perverts…I mean, the two butt buddies go to Lady Fiore's private bathhouseth"
The next evening when the two girls are enjoying their bath time, two perverts sneak in the bathroom ala Metal Gear Style…with two card boxes. The bathroom is a squared shaped bathroom with a circled pool on its middle. However, for obvious reasons, the two card boxes stand out. Lady Fiore and Irise just got in, with their bathrobe still on. Fiore just removes her headband and places it next to the bath when she notices the two card boxes are...breathing.
"Hey, those card boxes are breathing! It's a perv! A pervert! Irise, get my sword! I'm going to kill this guy!"
"Right away, milady!" Irise quickly changes her direction and heads to get the clothes. Ty glances to Hel, secretly telling him to get the headband now. Hel throws his card box and runs toward the headband, which is actually the same direction as Irise.
"Another pervert?! How come there are so many perverts in this world?!" Irise widens her eyes seeing this room if filled with pervert. Ty takes a random picture of the pool before concentrating at Irise, taking some pictures of her and shocking her. Hel seizes this chance to finally grab the headband, "Yes, I did it!"
"No, you didn't!" In a demon speed, Lady Fiore appears near him and gets her bathrobe before giving him a powerful blow to his stomach, nearly knocking him off his balance, "Give me my headband back!"
"Can't do that! Ty!" Hel calls for Ty and throws the headband over the pool for him to catch, "Catch that!"
"Nooo! My headband!" Lady Fiore grabs Irise's bathrobe and throws it to her, "Irise, get my headband!"
Both Ty and Irise prepare to catch the headband as it heads to Ty's direction. Ty stretches his arms above to catch the headband but Irise jumps from the pool for the same attempt, resulting in both of them crashing and falling to the pool…along with the headband.
"No, my headband! It fell to the pool!" Lady Fiore turns her attention to Hel with anger fulfilling her, "That's a precious gift from my father! Now, you've done it!"
"Wait, wait! I'm sorry for this, but please hear me out! I have a good reason for doing this!"
"Chill, I'll listen to all your reasons down there in my private underground torture chamber in my house! You can do it while I'm pulling out your nails one by one or removing your eye slowly with a drill!" A really sadistic reply, don't you think?
But miracle happens again when suddenly a bright light glimpses from inside the pool. Ty and Irise, still wet because their useless attempt earlier, stand up and see what is happening on the pool. The four people watch in silence as Okama Masuo, dresses in an angelic dress, coming out from the bottom of the pool with a golden headband on his right hand and a silver headband on his left hand.
"What's this? This isn't in the script…" Lady Fiore says to herself seeing the okama emerging from the pool.
"Hear ye, hear ye!" The sissy…I mean the okama speaks, "Ye who have dropped this headband in thy pool, ye must take responsibility!"
"What…what responsibility?" Irise, being the nearest to the entity along with Ty, slowly responds.
"Ye must choose between thy headbands! Which one belongs to ye, and which is not!" The okama proclaims, "Ye speak of false answer, ye won't have this headband back!"
"What?! That's an arrogant thing to say! That headband rightfully belongs to me!" Lady Fiore exclaims her right.
"Ye cannot speak any truer, but ye still have to choose!" The okama doesn't feel like backing down at all, "Which one is yer, the golden one or the silver one?!"
"I've heard about this story" Hel quickly tells everyone, "If you choose any of them, you will lose both. The right headband is still under the water"
"Are you joking me?! The silver one is clearly mine!" Lady Fiore disagrees, "I'll pick the one on his left!"
"Then, I'll go for the golden one! The silver may be a decoy!" Ty also gives his call.
"I'm not going to pick both, the right one is still under the water!" Hel also gives his choice, leaving Irise as the only one abstains.
"Ye, the dark haired woman!" The okama calls for the maid, "What's yer pick?"
"Can I choose not to pick?"
"No, ye cannot! If ye don't pick, ye will be forced to undergo a sex change operation!"
"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!" Not only Irise, but the other three also nearly lose their eyes out of surprise, "I have to undergo sex change operation!? No way!"
"Then, pick!"
"Er…ok, I'll pick the one in the left" Irise reluctantly chooses.
"Alright, now the right pick is…." Everyone holds their breath as the okama announces, "No one! You all have to undergo sex change operation!"
"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!" All four of them nearly die of heart attack, "None of us get it right?!"
"Yes! The right headband is…here!" Okama Masuo reveals where the headband is, "In my pocket!"
"What the hell?! How should we know that?!" Ty loudly protests, "That's unfair!"
"Silence! Ye have chosen the wrong pick! Ye all have to undergo sex change operation!"
"Like hell I would do that!" Ty forms a pink sphere on his left hand and lifts it to the air, "I've sworn to fulfill my promise to Hel! If I cannot get the headband in a peaceful way, I'll get it with power!"
"What are ye doing?!" The okama starts panicking, "Ye cannot do that!"
"Silence! This is how I will fulfill my vow!" Ty looks at Hel, ""Hel! Once I blast the headband with this sphere, you go get it! If the princess first looks you with the headband, she will fall in love with you!"
"Alright!" Hel runs into the pool but Lady Fiore stops him.
"Irise, don't let him do that!" Stop him!"
"Yes, milady!" Secretly, Irise got her own plan, "If I catch that headband, Lady Fiore's heart will be mine!"
Meanwhile, Hel is struggling against the lord knight, "Let me go! Let me go!"
"No, I won't!"
"OK, I don't want to do this, but it's worth it!" Hel pushes Lady Fiore to the pool and quickly charges to the headband.
Ty, successfully casted the spell, hits Okama Masuo with it, "Take this, Love Sphere!"
"Gyaaaaaaaaaaah!" Okama Masuo wails the moment the love sphere explodes and a bright pink light embalms the entire room. After the smoke and dust are clear, everyone is seen slowly standing.
"Ow, my eyes…" Irise rub her eyes to regain her sight, "That was blinding…"
Hel also feels the same; thankfully he can always ignore pain. But what he holds in his right hand bests all the pain he has ever felt, "The headband…I got it! I got it! I got the headband!"
Irise cannot hide her disappointment as she sees Lady Fiore rising from under the water, "No! That means…"
Lady Fiore's eyes look hypnotized and by the way she looks, the spell really works. Slowly walking to the holder of her headband, a smile grows on her face before she reaches her arm to caress his face, "Gelraven…oh, Gelraven…"
"It's Helraven, Lady Fiore. Not Gelraven" Hel mirthfully corrects her.
"Oh, right. Helraven…" Lady Fiore continues to gently caress his face, "You have not of the slightest idea how long I've been yearning of this feeling…"
"I may not have, but I understand that yearn" Hel returning the favor by gently strokes her hair, "For me, too, yearn for something to fill my heart"
"Why does the dialogue suddenly become beautiful?" Irise asks herself seeing the two lovebirds.
"This is your treasure, Lady Fiore. My apologies for causing such a ruckus with it" Hel puts the treasured headband back to her head, slowly and gently, "I beg your pardon if you feel this is such an order, but I believe it's improper to talk here like this…like how we are now. May I suggest for both of us to go to my place? Or maybe yours? We can have some decent clothing and decent place to speak"
"I find no order in that caring tone, Helraven. We shall do what you said…the two of us" The enchanting lord knight takes his arm with hers and then the two go away in peace, leaving the problematic bathhouse with the three meddlers inside it.
"No…Lady Fiore…" Irise is too heartbroken to do anything, so basically Ty is free to do what he wishes.
"Hehehe, now with Hel finally meets his happiness, I'll tape you as much as I like" Ty's camera turns out to be waterproof. So, he starts taping the heartbroken girl, "Look here, o sweety. I want to get that nice little look on you! Maybe you can remove that bathrobe of yours so we can have much more fun!"
Too bad, the fun's over when Ty feels someone is staring at him from his backside, and it's Okama Masuo. The difference is the look on his eyes. It's the same as Lady Fiore's from earlier, and needles to be said, the okama has fallen in love…with Ty, "Tyraellius…oh, Tyraellius…"
"Uh…oh…this doesn't sound good…" Ty starting to tremble when he turns over his shoulder to witness the monster okama goggling at him, "It cannot be…the spell affected him too?"
"Tyraelius! Come here to my embrace, we can share our eternal and passionate love for eternity!" A very frightening offer from the okama.
"Hell no, I'm straight! Why would I love a big monkey hairy ass like you?! This isn't even on the script! And don't look at me like that with those freaky big eyes, Godzilla! You're too ugly to even breathe the same air with Kanye West!" Ty drops his camera and prepares to run, "Don't come any closer!"
"There's no need to be so shy, honey! I will love you like a little monkey I used to have as a pet!"
"Great, that little monkey died because of heart attack, right?! No wonder seeing the mother of all king kongs trying to hug him!"
"Ow, that little cutey mouth of yours!"
"Stop saying disgusting things like that! Even Jabba The Hut would throw up seeing you like that!"
"Don't be so rude on me, dear. If you have to, then do me gently!"
"Do you?! Like hell! I'm not going to do you even if we were the last two men on earth and goats extinct! I would rather have you kill me so I can die and embrace the afterlife!"
"Yes, yes! Let's embrace our life together!" Masuo tries to hug Ty but the pervert dodges, "Don't run, love! We shall consume our relationship deeper tonight!"
"Why don't you consume your relationship with a mad cow?! That too, if the mad cow is still insane enough to let you love him!"
"Don't say that, dear. I will love you gently in a way you never imagined before!"
"Right, I've never imagined Mecha King Ghidorah loving me before!"
"Uh, you make me feel h***y!"
"Eeek! Don't say that, you disgust me!" Ty cannot bear the sight of this beast and run, "El got to do the princess but I got to do this guy?! How unfair this life is! I'm outta here!"
Seeing Ty run for his life (and his dignity), Masuo cannot help but chase him, "Wait, love! Wait for me!"
After the two leave the bathhouse, Irise stands up and looks at the audience with a very determined look. Steeling herself, she resolves, "Fine, if he goes that far to take Lady Fiore away from me, a demon I will be. I'll report this to King Marc and proclaim a war! Just wait and see, you lowlife prick! Lady Fiore is mine! And if it takes a massacre to bring her back here, a massacre I will do!"
"What will happenth once Irise tell her king abouth this? How will Hel and Lady Fiore fight for their loveth? Will Einbroch and its military haveth something to with this? Will Ty and Mecha King Ghidorah findth a happy lifeth? Find out, in the nexth chapter!"
To be continued in the later part, next chapter…
3rd Story: Three Seconds Wish
The story takes place during Ty's, Felicia's, and Clyde's training in Lutie Field awhile ago…
"Phew, the training today is tiring too" Felicia leans in the outer wall of The Toy Factory and picks a bottle of water for a drink, "But, I guess it's worth it"
"Second that" Ty, sits beside her, goes for a drink too with Clyde following him, "Having training with our own copy self surely helped us understanding what we lack in combat. For example, I now know I lack guard and defense during attacking my target"
"Me too, I now know how to retain my consciousness during the 2nd stage of Cutlass Transformation" Clyde shares his experience with the other two.
"Same here, now I know how to maintain attack and defense while throwing series of attack" The paladin carries the conversation, "Can't wait to try it in real combat"
"Speaking of the devil…your wish is granted, Felicia" Ty points out to the entrance door of Toy Factory, which presents the three combatants with two Stormy Knights, "Two Stormy Knights, nice couple"
"Fio defeated one of them in one second" Felicia stands up, intending to fight them, "I'll handle them"
"Wait, I would like to give them some try too" Ty follows, "Let's make it 2 on 2"
"Fair enough" Felicia pulls out her Saber and a Sacred Mission shield, "Any condition?"
"Time attack" Ty pulls out a pair of purple tonfas, named Xilphas, "In Ropera, we often do a time attack contest with the limit of five minutes to find out who are the fastest and the best at defeating opponents, just for fun"
"I'll be the umpire" Clyde picks a watch and shows it to both young adults.
"OK…" Felicia stares at the monster before looking back at Ty, "What's the prize?"
"Whoever loses must do the winner a favor" Ty smirks, "How about it?"
"Fair enough" Felicia sprints toward the monster, "Then I'll go first!"
The golden haired maiden is welcomed by one of the Stormy Knights. The knight bashes her with his shield but Felicia counters using her Sacred Mission. Their power is proven equal when neither of them bulge, however Felicia bests her opponent speed by throwing a single slicing cut and successfully hits the knight's forehead. Bleeding, the knight pulls back but Felicia insists on chasing him. The paladin casts her Shield Charge and perfectly hits the knight, taking him down to the snowy field and further attaining the upper hand. The knight retaliates by teleports to behind Felicia and throws a sneak attack. But with the training proving its result, Felicia quickly evades the fatal blow and spins from below, executing a powerful slash and deeply cut the monster. Stormy Knight starts to lose his balance once his blood sprays from his upper body, giving Felicia to finish him off by one last blow to his head using Bash. The first monster is defeated in such fashion by the paladin.
"Two minutes and thirteen seconds" Clyde announces the result, "Good start. You'll have a hard time defeating her Ty"
"We'll see about that" Ty smiles and praises the paladin as she goes back, "Nice job, lady"
"Good luck, you'll need it" Felicia gleefully replies as Ty go for the last monster.
The Stormy Knight teleports to in front of Ty and rapidly executes a series of thrusts. Ty calmly dodges every thrust and counters back by throwing a spinning kick to the monster, forcing him to move several step backwards. The gunslinger taunts the monster to go for another chance and the monster does so, this time trying to hit him using his shield. Ty simply knocks the shield back and swings his tonfa only to see the monster block it. The monster and the gunslinger engage in a back and forth attempt to hit one another as the forcefully try to land a single blow respectively on each other. The gunslinger strikes with both his tonfas but the monster avoid it by leaning himself closer to the ground before pierces right toward Ty's neck. Ty, however, does the same thing the monster did by leaning closer to the ground to avoid the death strike. Their intelligence proved to be a big difference because Ty quickly executes a reverse low spinning kick to knock the Stormy Knight off his balance. Seizing the golden opportunity, Ty spins lowly in the air before pummeling the monster with one hard blow using his Xilphas, resulting in an explosion once the Xilphas hit the Stormy Knight…which is needles to be stated, blowing him into pieces. Ty emerges victorious as the dust and smokes are cleared.
"Xilphas the explosion tonfas; blow whatever they hit" Ty explains to Felicia who was going to ask, "What's my time, Clyde?"
"Two minutes…" Clyde announces the result, "And sixteen seconds"
"What?!" The gunslinger is now in dismay, "I lost by the margin of three seconds?! Ow, I can't believe this!"
"Hehe, you better believe this" Felicia pats the perverts' back and displays a grin, "And since you're a man, I hope you don't back away from your words"
"…Fine" Ty responds with a sigh, "What do you want me to do?"
"I'll think about that later" Felicia rolls her eyes before telling the gunslinger, "Just remember you owe me one wish"
With the paladin claiming the victory, Ty now wonders what kind of wish awaits for him.
What would the wish be? You have to wait and c, folks!
Sorry for the late update, guys. I got problems here and there. Hopefully I can update the second part of the play this week.
C u next chappy! (^^)