Episode 2: Sharks and Hornets and Bears, Oh My
Author's note: RIP Akira Toriyama. The world has lost an amazingly talented man, the likes of which we may never see again.
The camera shows Chris standing at the end of the Dock of Shame. "Last time on Total Drama Island." The scene cuts to flashbacks of the previous episode. "We met our twenty-four lucky competitors. Lucky being a loose interpretation of the word. Some made friends with others straight away, others…not so much. Looking at you Mandy. Anyway, then the teams got to name themselves and make a team flag. Which they did…poorly. Team Checkmate proved they couldn't spell, Team Power Mouse has no idea what a mouse looks like, and Team Golden Lion is colourblind. Anyway, after that the teams were told to prepare for their first challenge together, which we're about to see."
The camera cuts back to Chris. "Who will survive the challenge? Who will wipe out spectacularly? And most importantly, who will be the first team to send someone home? Find out right here, right now, on Total Drama Island."
Intro plays.
The camera cuts to the contestants and Chris standing before the first challenge. "Welcome back to Total Drama Island," said Chris.
"What are you talking about? We've been standing here the whole time," said Eliza. "We haven't gone anywhere."
"And here I thought you knew how TV worked," said Chris disapprovingly. "Anyway, today's challenge is going to be…this obstacle course."
"That's what you're calling this?" asked Dipper. "It looks like suicide."
"Only if you fail," said Chris. "Which I hope some of you might, more entertaining for me."
"Hooray, a sadist," said Kim sarcastically.
"I might like this show then," said Mandy.
"Anyway, here's the course," said Chris, with the camera cutting between each obstacle as he said them. "First, you cross the monkey bars across the electric eel pit, followed by walking along the plank across some shark infested water. Next, you'll take a toboggan down Minefield Hill, then jumping across the hornet nest stepping stones. Don't worry, only some of them are actual hornet's nests. Next is a quick jaunt through Angry Bear Cave, and after a short run through Dandelion Field, you finish the course by climbing the Cliff of Heavy Things That Fall Down at You."
"Your naming guy got lazy with that last one, didn't he?" asked Luz.
"Of course not," said Chris indignantly. "He just went on vacation. Anyway, any questions? Or last requests?"
Confession Cam: Mandy
"I almost started to think I liked this Chris guy, but Dandelion Field? What kind of monster is he?"
Confession Cam: Lincoln
"What the heck did I sign up for?"
Confession Cam: Dipper
"Well…I'm gonna die. After dealing with a crazy reality warping triangle guy, can't say this is how I was expecting things to go."
"Oh, and there's one more thing," said Chris, pulling out a small figurine of himself. "This is the Chris of Invincibility. There will be one hidden during every challenge, including this one. If you have one of these, you can escape elimination, even if everyone else votes you out. Of course, I don't think any of you are going to find it, seeing as you're going to be fleeing for your lives the whole way, but still, it's there if you can find it."
"Pfft, leave it to me," said Nate dismissively.
"Okay campers, we'll be sending one team at a time through the course, with each member being sent off at thirty second intervals," said Chris. "That way you can help other teammates finish their run, since you will be timed from when the first member of your team starts, to when your last member crosses the line. The winning team will receive an amazing prize. As for the losing team, they will be sending someone home tonight."
"What do they win?" asked Steven.
"I'm glad you asked," said Chris. "The winning team will be presented with this $10 gift card for the camp cafeteria. To share."
"…you know, from the way you spoke about it, you made it sound like we'd get something good," said Kim.
"Hey, have you seen the budget breakdown of this show?" asked Chris. "90% of the budget goes to me so I can keep my glamorous lifestyle, 7% goes towards making the challenges, 1% is the prize money at the end, which leaves the rest to be rewards for each challenge."
"That makes way too much sense," said Ben.
"Glad to see you agree," said Chris. "Now, because their team logo was the least stupid, Team Power Mouse will be going first. Feel free to decide your own order, or let me throw a random team member into the electric eel pit. Either's fine with me."
"We should send someone who isn't so sure of getting through the course first," said Kevin. "That way we can have someone follow them and help them get through the course. Any volunteers?"
"Ooh, ooh, can I go first?" asked Star giddily.
"Don't you have magic that can help you with the course?" asked Kevin. "I was thinking someone without powers could…"
"Oh please, this stuff is like an average Tuesday for me," said Kim. "I'll do it."
"Hey, don't hog all the fun," said Jake. "I'll go first."
"Look, no offense guys, but I was thinking you guys could go later," said Kevin. "You seem like you'd be pretty good at this, so I feel like you should go later to help anyone straggling behind. I was thinking maybe someone a bit more…underpowered."
"Team Power Mouse, we need a decision," said Chris. "Eh, screw it, I choose…"
"I'll do it," said Mikey. "I'll go first, I can handle it."
"Ae you sure?" asked Kevin. "I mean, I can go if you…"
"No, I'm sure I can do it," said Mikey, walking up to the start of the challenge.
"Brave kid," said Luz.
"He's gonna die, isn't he?" asked Star.
"Probably," said Luz.
"Okay Mikey, wasn't expecting you to jump at this opportunity," said Chris. "But hey, it's your funeral."
"Oh, it won't be that bad, I'm sure," said Mikey.
"Oh yes it will," said Chris. "The rest of you might want to figure out your order soon, because for Mikey, time starts…" Chris blew a whistle straight into Mikey's ear. "NOW!"
Mikey, surprised by the whistle in his ear, stumbled and nearly fell into the electric eel pit. Luckily, his height allowed him to grab onto the monkey bars before he went too far. "Oh, man, that was close," he said, as one of the eels jumped up and brushed his leg as it went past, zapping him. "I should probably get going," he said, continuing across the monkey bars.
"Yeah, you should," said Chris. "Because…" Chris blew his whistle again, and the shock from this blast made Mikey let go of the bar completely.
"WHOA!" yelled Mikey as he fell, only for someone to grab his hand. "Oh, thank you."
"Yeah, just hang in there for a moment," said Luz, who started swinging him as hard as she could. Eventually she managed to get enough momentum that she was able to fling Mikey to the other side. Luz continued across the remaining monkey bars and joined Mikey on the other side. "Kevin figures it's better to have someone with either superpowers or good athletic skills follow someone without them, to make sure we all get across."
"Like a buddy system?" asked Mikey. "That's pretty clever. We should…"
"Less talk, more move, we're wasting time," said Luz, dragging Mikey behind her as she ran towards the next section.
Meanwhile behind them, Pepper had just set off, and cleared the eel pit. "Okay, next is the plank across the shark water," she said, running up to the plank, and stopping when she saw the sharks leaping up over the plank. "Uhh…maybe there another way to…"
"Aww, don't be scared," said Star, coming up behind her. "Watch this." Star pulled out her wand and pointed it at the nearest shark. "CUPCAKE BLAST!" A shower of cupcakes erupted from the wand, knocking the shark back into the water.
"You're fighting the sharks…with cupcakes?" asked Pepper.
"Sure. Doesn't everyone?" asked Star, grabbing Pepper's hand and dragging her across the plank, not stopping even when she had to fire off another blast of cupcakes.
"Why'd I agree to have you as my partner?" groaned Pepper, trying not to think about the dangerous situation they were in.
They continued through the course with as few incidents as you could expect from Star, as the third pair arrived at the toboggan section. "So, how are we supposed to get down there without blowing up?" asked Dipper.
"I have an idea," said Jake, transforming into a dragon. "Chris never said we had to be on the ground, just that we had to get down, right?"
"As long as you're on the toboggan in some way, I'll allow it," said Chris, who was watching from a camera back at the start line. "Though it does kind of violate the spirit of the rules."
"Well, if it's just the spirit and not the actual rules…" said Jake, shoving Dipper onto the toboggan and picking it up, before flying at high speed down the hill with his passenger screaming in terror.
As they continued through the challenge, the final pair arrived at the hornet's nest. "Okay, so, uh, is this a bad time that I have a thing about hornets?" asked Kevin.
"What, are you allergic or something?" asked Kim.
"No, I just don't want to get stung by any," said Kevin.
"Right…" said Kim, looking at the obstacle. "Well, I think I know how to get across safely."
"Really? How?" asked Kevin.
"Like this," said Kim, who immediately jumped onto one of the hornet's nests, landing lightly before springing to the next, then another, and another, then landing on the other side. "See? Just like that."
"Right…" said Kevin, who was trying to figure out how she did that. "Now, for those of us who don't cheerlead…"
"Oh, right," said Kim. "Well, I doubt the ones I jumped on have hornets, so just jump on the ones I did. The first one I jumped on was the one that's two rows in, fifth from the right."
"You mean this one?" asked Kevin, taking a deep breath and carefully jumping onto it.
"Yeah, that one," said Kim. "Now, the next one was in the fifth row, seven from the right."
"This one?" asked Kevin, jumping to it.
"That's it," said Kim encouragingly. "Next it was…" But before she could finish speaking, there was a cracking sound, and suddenly Kevin fell through the top of the nest he was standing on. "KEVIN!"
"It's okay, I think this was a fake one anyway," said Kevin. "Just out of curiosity though, can you hear that angry buzzing too?"
"RUN!" yelled Kim, as Kevin got back up and started running across the hornet's nests, angering more of them before he got to the other side.
As they ran, they caught up to the pair ahead of them. "Hey guys, what's the hurry?" asked Dipper. "Also, what's that buzzing?"
"Probably the reason they're running," said Jake, grabbing Dipper and flying through the cave. "Hopefully the bears will distract the hornets for us."
"Or they'll chase us too," said Dipper.
"…damn it," said Jake, as he saw the bears start chasing them too.
The four of them kept running, grabbing Star and Pepper as they started through Dandelion Field. "Whoa guys, was not expecting you guys to catch us so fast," said Star. "Also, what's that buzzing and growling sound?"
"It's a reason to keep moving," said Kim, dragging Pepper and Kevin behind her now.
"Did you somehow manage to tick off the bears AND the hornets?" asked Pepper. "Wow, even Star didn't manage that."
"I know, I'm surprised too," said Star.
"Well, the good news is there's only one more obstacle," said Pepper.
"The bad news is we have to climb a cliff while people throw things at us," said Kevin.
"It's okay guys, they suck at aiming," called Luz, who was already halfway up with Mikey.
"Chef, are you gonna take that from her?" asked Chris from his monitor.
"All part of the plan," said Chef. "Let them get a false sense of security, before suddenly becoming super accurate."
"Man, that's evil," said Chris. "I love it."
"Thanks," said Chef, picking up a bowling ball. "Now, who to hit with this…"
"Guys, we have bears and hornets coming for us, and our only escape is the cliff," said Dipper. "We might be in trouble."
"Just start climbing the cliff then," said Star. "They can't climb, right?"
"Yes, they can," said Dipper. "We need a…"
"No, Star's right, everyone start climbing," said Kevin, pushing everyone towards the cliff. "Except you two." Kevin grabbed Jake and Star as they headed towards the cliff, and turned them towards him. "Star, can you hold back the bears and hornets?"
"Can do," said Star, pulling out her wand and immediately firing out cupcakes, narwhals, and (weirdly enough) a spider in a top hat.
"Jake, start grabbing people and flying them to the top," said Kevin.
"You got it man," said Jake, immediately picking up Kevin and flying full speed to the top.
"Perfect, just leave Star for last so we're all safe," said Kevin.
"Wow, you're pretty strategic," said Jake.
"Well, dealing with a super-powered sister is like trying to herd cats," said Kevin. "Having a team that listens to what I have to say is kind of a relief."
"Hey, if you're giving good ideas on how to win, I don't see why we shouldn't…HEY!" cried Jake, as a bowling ball nearly hit him. "Watch it, you nearly hit me."
"Guess I'll have to try harder next time," said Chef, this time throwing a pile of bricks.
"Whoa," said Jake, easily dodging around the bricks as he reached the top of the cliff. "You'll have to try harder than that if you want to hit me," mocked Jake, sticking his tongue out at Chef. Chef growled at this, and started throwing bigger and heavier things at Jake, which he easily avoided and continued to laugh at Chef.
"If you'd just hold still a moment…" muttered Chef angrily, continuing to throw things, but unable to hit the agile teen dragon.
Soon enough, the rest of the group was at the top of the cliff and across the finish line. "Okay Team Power Mouse, seven minutes and fifty-three seconds. Way faster than I expected anyone to go. And Jake, mocking Chef like that? I'm tempted to knock another ten seconds off your time."
"Sweet," said Jake.
"I said I was tempted to, not that I was going to," said Chris. "Still, you guys are going to be tough to beat. Good work."
Confession Cam: Dipper
"Wow, I really scored with these teammates. Everyone works well together, especially Kevin. I wouldn't be surprised if the final two were from our team."
Confession Cam: Mandy
"So they work well together, eh? I'll have to fix that."
"Alright, Team Checkmate, you'll be going next," said Chris. "Pick your…"
"Me," said Mandy, striding forward confidently.
"Are you sure?" asked Tulip, walking after her. "I mean, if you want to use Power Mouse's strategy, we could send…"
"I don't care who you send after me," said Mandy. "It won't matter anyway, nothing's going to happen."
"I'm almost positive that's not true," said Ben.
"Hey, it's her funeral," said Chris with a shrug. "The rest of you, work out your order. Mandy, your time begins…" Chris took a deep breath to blow into his whistle.
"Blow that in my ear, and it'll be the last breath you ever exhale," said Mandy.
Chris hesitated a moment, before blowing the whistle in the opposite direction. "Now," he said, as Mandy immediately jumped up to the monkey bars.
An electric eel jumped at Mandy, grabbing her by the ankle. However, before it could shock her, Mandy grabbed it around the throat and glared into its eyes. "No," she said, in a voice that left no room for argument. "Not me, and not these losers. You got that?" The eel gulped, and nodded in understanding, before Mandy let it go.
"She is seriously scary," said Jessica. "What is her deal?"
"I don't know, maybe I should find out," said Elliott, stepping up to go next. "My guess is she just needs a best friend to make her feel welcome."
"More like an exorcist," said Ben, as Elliott set off. "But surely she isn't going to scare everything into not attacking us?"
"Well, Elliott's across without getting attacked," said Steven.
"Yeah, but that's just one challenge," said Ben. "Surely she hasn't…"
The scene cuts, to show the team at the top of the cliff, and Chef curled up in a ball and rocking back and forth, shaking. "You were saying?" asked Steven.
"I can't believe it…" said Ben, still in shock about it.
"Hey, I'm not complaining," said Dexter. "Less for me to deal with."
"I am complaining," said Buttercup. "Less for me to deal with."
"I'm just curious as to how she managed to intimidate a dandelion," said Jessica.
"With enough practice, anything can be made to fear you," said Mandy, taking her hand out of the pocket of her dress.
"In any case, your team took eight minutes and one second," said Chris. "Meaning Team Power Mouse definitely won't be sending anyone home, but haven't yet secured the fabulous gift card prize. Team Golden Lion, you only need to fully complete the course in eight minutes to avoid elimination."
"Okay, who should go first?" asked Korra.
"The strategy Power Mouse used might be worth using," said Arnold. "Save guys like you, Jenny, and Danny for last to help the not so strong guys through the challenge first."
"A logical idea," said Jenny. "Do any of you volunteer?"
"I was wondering about Annie," said Danny. "No offense, but if someone needs an emotional support animal, maybe you might need some more help than some of the others?"
"Danny, that's kind of insensitive," said Lincoln.
"No, no, he's, uh, got a point," said Annie. "I should…" Pony nudged her, to show his concern. "It's okay Pony, I'll have…"
"I'll go first," said Eliza, wondering towards the electric eel pit. "I have a way with animals, maybe I can pacify them somehow."
"Like what that Mandy girl did?" asked Nate. "Do you really think you're that scary?"
"I don't need to be scary to get animals to not be dangerous," said Eliza, kneeling down near the pit. The next thing her team heard was Eliza seemed to be talking in a series of buzzes. What was weirder was that the eels seemed to be talking back.
"Umm…is…is she talking to the eels?" asked Nate.
"You know, with the cast of freaks assembled on this show, speaking to animals would be the least weird of them," said Lincoln.
"Who are you calling freaks?" asked Korra, glaring down at him.
"I didn't mean it in a bad way," said Lincoln, backing off quickly.
"Okay Eliza, if you're done talking to the animals…" asked Chris.
"What? Who said I was talking to animals?" asked Eliza, jumping up and looking slightly alarmed.
"…I mean, you were, weren't you?" asked Chris.
"Uhh…" started Eliza, clearly nervous.
"You know what? I don't care," said Chris. "Your time starts…" Chris blew his whistle at Eliza, who was prepared for it after having watched the other teams. "NOW!"
Eliza immediately grabbed the monkey bars and got over to the other side with no problems, before stopping right before the shark pit. "Here sharks, here sharks," she whispered. "Don't be scared, I just want to talk, and I need to do it quickly."
"And why should talk to you, human?" demanded one of the sharks, bursting from the water right in front of Eliza. Eliza backed up, but tried not to show any fear. "Especially after…" The shark shuddered at this point. "…her?"
"You mean Mandy?" asked Eliza, causing a wave of fear to go through the group. "Look, like I said to the eels, I'll see what I can do about her, but…"
"And why should we trust you?" asked the shark. "What makes you better than her?"
"Well, I'm not threatening to kill you, am I?" asked Eliza.
"Hmm…I suppose not," said the shark. "Alright, what do you want?"
"Just don't attack me or my friends," said Eliza. "And I promise I'll see if her team will get rid of her early."
"Hmm…" said shark thought. "I don't know if I believe you, but the threat that one poses is great, I suppose we have no choice."
"Great," said Eliza. "So I'll just be…"
"Are you still here?" asked Annie, who'd just crossed the monkey bars unscathed. "And talking to more animals?"
"I…uh…" stammered Eliza, trying to come up with an excuse.
"Come on, we've got a challenge to win," said Annie, running across the plank.
"Well, gotta go," said Eliza, running after Annie.
"You had better fulfil your end of the bargain," said the shark. "Because my brethren are hungry, and you children look tasty."
Eliza gulped as she caught up to Annie. "Hey, wait up," she said. "I need to go first to try and pacify the animals."
"By talking to them?" asked Annie, grabbing a toboggan.
"That, uh, it's not what it looks like," said Eliza, getting on behind her. "It's…uh…"
"It's like horse whispering, isn't it?" asked Annie, as they took off down the hill. "What you do, I mean."
"Speaking of which, what's the deal with your pony?" asked Eliza, glad to change the subject. "Because I know animals, and horses are not an official support animal."
"What? Of course he is," said Annie. "He's…WHOA!" As she was speaking, the two of them went over a mine, launching them into the air.
"Should we focus on the challenge and talk about this later?" asked Eliza as they landed.
"Yeah, sounds good," said Annie, focusing on the hill before them.
Meanwhile, Chris was watching the progression of the challenge. "Man, this challenge has a disappointing lack of maiming," he said. "Would it kill them to let a bear take a swipe at them?"
"Well, yeah, almost certainly," said Chef.
"Shouldn't you be throwing things at the contestants climbing the cliff?" asked Chris.
"I guess," said Chef. "As long as there isn't another like…her…"
"What did she do to you, anyway?" asked Chris, who noticed Chef was staring blankly into space. "Uh, Chef? Hello? Earth to Chef?"
"I don't want to talk about it," said Chef, walking back to the cliff.
It wasn't long before the remaining contestants were on the top of the cliff. "Nate, come on, you've still gotta cross the finish line," said Danny.
"It's fine," said Nate dismissively. "We've got a little time. I want to cross the line so we finish at eight minutes exactly, make it more heartbreaking for Checkmate."
"Yeah, but why risk it?" asked Arnold.
"Because it'd be the coolest thing ever to mess with them," said Nate.
"Nate, just get over here," said Korra.
"Your team have a point," said Chris. "Clock's at seven minute fifty-five."
"Well, I'll just casually stroll across the line and…" started Nate, when suddenly he tripped over a rock. "Uh oh." Nate scrambled to his feet, tripped over the rock again, then threw himself over the line with everything he had. "Uh…did I make it?"
"Across the line? Yes," said Chris. "Across the line in time? No, your team's time is eight minutes and two seconds. I'll be seeing you guys at elimination." Chris chuckled to himself, as the other seven members glared at Nate.
"So, uh, guys…" said Nate, trying to sound innocent. "Who do you think we should eliminate?"
Confession Cam: Nate
"So, I made one little mistake. Surely, they won't hold that against me, right? …Right?"
Confession Cam: Korra
"Oh, I am SO holding this against him."
That night, at the elimination ceremony…
"Campers, there are eight of you here, but I only have seven marshmallows," said Chris. "If I call your name, you'll be getting a tasty treat. If I don't, you'll be taking a walk down the Dock of Shame, boarding the Boat of Losers, and leaving the island. And you can never come back. Ever. The following contestants are safe from elimination." As Chris read each name, he threw them a marshmallow. "Danny. Arnold. Annie. Lincoln. Jenny. And Korra." The camera cut to show Eliza and Nate, still without a marshmallow. "Campers, this is the final marshmallow of the night. One of you two is going home. Nate, you cost your team the challenge because you wanted to look cool. Eliza, you wasted a lot of time talking to animals when you could have been finishing the challenge. It also just looks and sounds weird when you do that."
"Hey, at least I finished the challenge when I was supposed to," said Eliza.
"Yes you did," said Chris. "But was it enough to save you from elimination? Let's find out, shall we? The final marshmallow of the night goes to…" The camera cut between Nate and Eliza, the former looking worried, the latter seemed confident she was safe. "Eliza," said Chris, throwing her the marshmallow. "Nate buddy, sorry. You're out."
"Yeah…yeah, that's fair," said Nate sadly, getting up and walking towards the Dock of Shame. "Sorry about earlier guys."
"Great, now I just feel bad," said Danny, eating his marshmallow.
"Nate, the Boat of Losers awaits," said Chris, watching as Nate boarded the boat.
"See ya guys, and good luck," said Nate, as the boat pulled away.
"Well, that's one down, twenty-three to go," said Chris. "Who's the next to go? Who will win the $100,000 grand prize? Find out next time, on Total Drama Island."