Incident Investigation

Lethargic. That was what Issei felt as he walked through the town in broad daylight. He wouldn't have called himself a "morning" person by any means, but he didn't ever remember feeling like his muscles were sapped of all strength. Constant escapes from the Kendo club ensured that he remained fairly fit, for all his devious activities as one of the Perverted Trio.

The day after he had been killed, he thought it was natural considering his recent experiences.

Now though?

It had been over 3 days since then, and his condition in the morning didn't seem to improve. Conversely, it seemed as if as his morning strength was reallocated to the evening instead. He felt like he could run a mile or 2 easily at night.

Was he some kind of vampire or something? He thought to himself as he made his way through school slowly with thoughts in mind.

No no. That made no sense. He would've burned in daylight. While he DID feel weaker, he was able to eat garlic when he helped his mother cook the other day. He looked and felt human enough, and he didn't feel any fangs in his mouth, nor the urge to go suck some blood from some poor passerby. Or was that just some superstition?

Passing by the shopping district from his usual route to school, his eyes roamed around at the usual sights. One thing stood out though.

A table with elegantly written words on paper taped as a sign in front of it, while a child with his mother pointed at the girl manning a seat behind it.

Professional Shrine Maiden Services for Hire

Experienced at Youkai Extermination, Purifications, and Blessings

Negotiations for Payment Okay!

The words looked to be written with sharpie or something. It was so out of place in the middle of the rather modernized, shopping district that he couldn't help but stop walking to at least investigate for a bit. Mentally running the time in his head, he could probably spare a few minutes to check out what the heck this was all about before making his way to school.

The girl behind it was about average size, with rather youthful features. Average sized boobs, with smooth black hair and an enormous red ribbon to tie it up. Curiously, red tubes in that same hair helped give the appearance of someone elegant. Clearly Japanese, but her clothing was literally something out of an anime.

The sleeveless red top, white collar, yellow ribbon, and detached white sleeves all screamed "Shrine Maiden!" But he had seen those kind of girls before and he didn't think they ever had an outfit as unique as this. Several talismans were even laid out on the table as this woman fiddled with the top of a traditional gohei, that seemed almost as tall as she was.

Eyes couldn't help but turn to the sarashi around her chest, clearly bound firmly and visible due to her detached red top.

Was this some cosplayer? If it was, he absolutely had to check out whatever anime she was from, because whoever this was, this person probably did them justice.

"Hey, what're you looking at?" She broke Issei out of his thoughts, as his eyes roamed back upwards.

Her eye twitched in irritation, as she clearly noticed where his own eyes had gone.

"Your boobs! They're great!" Issei shouted in glee, with no thought.

Almost as if a record scratch occurred, the people, including the shrine maiden, stopped all activities to stare at him.

"What." She gave a deadpan reaction, though the other people furiously whispered behind his back.

Issei remained silent for a bit, before realizing what he had just shouted in front of her.

"Oops…" Issei muttered to himself. He clearly hadn't thought this out, seeing as he had just screamed this in public. Maybe he should just start running now?

To his surprise, the girl stared at him longer before just sighing.

"Well, at least you're more honest than some other people I know."

Issei scratched his cheeks embarrassingly, slightly confused at her response. Normally, this would be the part where he would prepare to run to escape the beatdown from his usual antics. This was honestly one of the mildest reactions he had ever seen.

"Anyway, you've been staring at me for a while. Did you need something?" The shrine maiden, laying an arm on the table and placing her head on it.

"Uhhh…" Issei stupidly babbled, still surprised at her rather lukewarm reaction to his antics.

The woman's eyes roamed up and down his body, taking in his figure lazily. She cocked a semi-interested eyebrow, but said nothing.

Wait, this was a shrine maiden right? Who supposedly specialized in purifications and blessings? Maybe he was cursed and that's what was going on with him? This could be a good opportunity to ask a supposed professional about this.

"Also," his mind deviated a bit. "If she did some sort of 'ritual,' we could peek at her boobs too."

Issei suppressed the perverse grin that almost forced its way onto his face and gave his honest response.

"Err yeah. I saw that you do purifications and blessings and was wondering if you could help me?" He answered nervously, unsure as to how to really describe his situation.

"Hmm?" The stall owner grunted, though her interest was clearly piqued. "I don't see any particular curse on you. You look human, but you aren't actually. If I had to guess, I'd say you were a devil. A weak one, actually."

"Wait wait wait. What did you just say!?" He replied immediately, shocked at her disturbingly casual statement. "I'm a what!?"

"A devil, kid." The shrine maiden nonchalantly answered, as if this was nothing new to her. "What, you don't know your own race?"

"No! Since when!? I'm a human!" Issei yelled, gathering the attention of more people besides him.

"No you're not. You can't fool me. I know what a human feels like, and you're not it." She casually responded, taking her head off her hand and sitting up.

He… He…

He was a devil?

When? How? When did this happen?

"Hey, if you're gonna have a breakdown in front of my table, could you at least stand to the side so I can see if I have any customers?"

She didn't have any, his mind snidely pointed out, but he mutely followed what she said anyway.

A devil? Was that why he felt so weak in the morning?

Issei's mind constantly reran the day of the date that he had with Yuuma, the girl whom had asked him out. It could've only happened on that day after all. He tried to recall everything that happened. The morning had started off well. The shopping district was first to tour around and see what they wanted to buy at the mall. He had gotten a scrunchie for her hair, he remembered, and then…

Issei heard a sigh from beside him, snapping him out of his thoughts again.

"Alright, this is just kind of sad. You look you need some help." The shrine maiden bluntly stated to him, with no care for tact. "You wanna pay me for my services?"

Issei's mind grinded to a halt at her offer. This was so much more important than school right now. He needed to find out what exactly had happened to him that fateful day.

"Do you do investigations?" Issei questioned, hopeful that this wasn't an out of place request for her.

She cocked an eyebrow. "I specialize in it, why?"

Decision made, he nodded mentally. "I'll pay you…"

How much was her services worth exactly?

"Uhh, 5000 yen?" He quoted a number, unsure if that was even an accurate price.

He briefly spotted a glint in the miko's eyes as she stood up from her seat and slammed a hand on her table.

"Deal. What do you need from me?"

xXx

"Alright, let me just make sure." The shrine maiden sighed exhaustingly; arms crossed with eyes closed. "You were on a date with some girl which you thought was going well. Then, you got killed by that same girl who transformed into someone with black wings, created some spear made of light, and stabbed you. When you woke up, you were back at your house, and you have no idea what happened. Is that right?"

Issei winced. When she phrased it like that, it did sound pretty unbelievable. He hadn't told anybody else yet, and now that someone else reiterated the story back to him, he probably wouldn't believe it himself if someone told him the same thing.

"Yeah, that's right." Issei confirmed the details with her, the latter nodding at the information provided.

"Hmm." The miko grunted as she looked at him. "And you want me to figure out how you became a devil, when you were a human just a few days ago?"

"Right."

By now, the shopping district had cleared out and school had already started for him. Right now though, Issei couldn't care less. Kaichou could go punish him some other day inevitably when she found him. This was too mindblowing to ignore.

"I took the time to look at you earlier, and I could sense a couple different things." The miko began, surprising Issei. "Your aura is a devil for sure. There's some holy energy coming from a particular spot from your chest. Probably where you got stabbed. There's an identical energy not far from here that we can stop by first to investigate."

"Uhh…" Issei was baffled. He hadn't realized that she had already started the job, despite him only telling the story just a few minutes earlier. She didn't seem like a hack or a scammer either.

"What?" The miko frankly asked, a deadpan expression on her face as she lifted the gohei onto her shoulder.

"I uhh.. Don't actually know your name, miko-san."

"Oh. Right. Sorry." The woman looked unbothered, despite being apologetic.

"It's Reimu Hakurei." She answered firmly." Let's go check out the spot you said you were stabbed."

She began to float into the sky, full body and all for seemingly no reason.

"Wha-. Hey hey hey!" He began yelling at her, while Reimu stopped ascending to look back at him.

"What?" Reimu turned to him, irritated at the sudden pause.

"What're you doing!?" Issei screamed, looking around at the surrounding area to see if there were any witnesses. To his fortune, there were none as everyone seemed to have packed up for the day.

"Flying. How else are we going to get there?" Reimu responded as if this was the norm for her. "Don't tell me you can't fly."

"No! And you can fl…" He sputtered, completely baffled on how he should reply. "I can't fly! And nobody flies here!"

To his dismay, she looked unperturbed.

"Ugh." She grumbled, as if he was the one who was being bothersome. "Fine, we'll walk."

To Issei's relief, she floated back down, went over to her table, and flipped her paper sign over from the services she provided, upside down to "Closed."

That was probably the most bootleg way of closing he had ever seen.

"Alright, let's go." Reimu huffed, already striding towards the destination.

"H-hey wait up!" Issei jogged over to catch up with her. He had thought that he would lead her to the destination, but it looked like she already knew where to begin looking. Maybe this wasn't some kind of fleece then?

The first few minutes of their trip went undisturbed, until Issei came across a sight that had him pale in horror.

"Wait, stop!" Issei whispered harshly towards her, as Reimu obeyed with another irritated look on her face.

"What now? You want me to do my job or what?" Reimu complained, clearly not seeing what the issue was this time.

"That's a delinquency officer!" He pointed at the police, walking around with a rather bored look on his face.

The shrine maiden cocked an eyebrow. "I don't see the problem. It's just another human. Maybe with some power to him."

Human? What did she even mean by that?

Issei shook his head. "We don't wanna get caught by them. If he catches me, he'll force me to go to school!"

To his shock, Reimu actually hesitated, muttering to herself. "School… school… I think that's something Sanae mentioned…"

Then, in equal whiplash, with absolutely no care or heed to his words, Reimu continued trekking forward.

"Hey! I just said to stop!" He tried to reach forward for her, grabbing her shoulder.

To his utter astonishment, Reimu grabbed his hand firmly.

"You're paying me to help investigate your problem. Why're you trying to stop me? I still don't see the issue with this…. Delinquency officer. If he gets in our way, I'll just beat him up." Reimu nodded to herself, heedless of his warnings. She let go of his hands and continued on the path straight towards the officer.

Issei could feel his soul leaving his body, as he unenergetically followed Reimu to his doom. He was already regretting his decision to find out more about his situation. Why was he stupid enough to try and hire this quack shrine maiden? He could've been in school, living out his days blissfully unaware of his surroundings, as his daily life hadn't really changed much outside of his lethargy in the morning.

Unsurprisingly, the officer turned his eye at them, erasing his bored look and becoming alert with suspicion.

"Hey, what're you kids doing here?" The cop puffed his chest out to look intimidating. "Shouldn't you guys be in school?"

He turned towards Issei. "Isn't that Kuoh Academy's uniform? Are you skipping young man?"

Before Issei could even reply, let alone think of an excuse, Reimu cut in.

"He's paying me to help investigate something for him, You're in our way. Could you move please?'

Issei buried his hand in his face. Oh god, how could this possibly get worse?

"Excuse me ma'am?" The officer turned towards Reimu. "Is that a threat?"

"Yeah. Move please, so we can get on our way." Reimu uncaringly answered, gohei still placed against her shoulder.

The officer frowned, narrowing his eyes at the pair. "Alright, look ma'am. I don't know what you're doing, but I'm gonna have to br-."

Issei blinked as he heard a loud smacking sound. In another second, the officer speaking was on the ground, unmoving. The only sign that he had been wounded other than his body was Reimu's different in posture. Her gohei had obviously been swung. Haphazardly if her relaxed body language said anything, with an unimpressed expression on her face.

And oh god, law enforcement was now on the ground.

"Huh. He was a lot weaker than I thought. For some peacekeeper Sanae told me about, he only took one hit." Reimu casually stated, completely unremorseful at her swift action.

Issei's jaw dropped and eyes widened at the swift altercation.

"What have I gotten myself into…" He mumbled to himself, head drooped, face meeting the oh so familiar hand against as he buried it in shame.

Punishment from Kaichou was one thing. Punishment from beating up an officer? He couldn't even imagine what was going to happen.

"If you're scared of someone like him, you must be pretty weak." Reimu commented, poking her gohei at the unconscious officer to see if he would react. "Guess I'll have to protect you too."

"Yeah…" Issei mouth automatically replied, no longer able to comprehend what was going on anymore.

"Hold onto this then, just in case." The miko handed Issei a talisman, which he subconsciously took. "It's a protection charm, in case you get attacked."

Issei stuffed it into his pocket, unable to take his eyes off the downed officer. "Right…"

He honestly just wanted this day over with now, with no more surprises in tow.

xXx

Shocking, to Issei's utter relief, there were no further scares or confrontations. The rest of the walk had been uneventful as they entered the park where he remembered being stabbed.

Issei couldn't quite see, but Reimu looked to be on guard, regardless of her relaxed posture. She examined around the area, before looking towards his chest, as if comparing the energy.

"This is where you got stabbed right?" Reimu blatantly asked.

He nodded silently, unable to really respond otherwise.

"The energy's the same. Actually, that same aura and energy that killed you leads somewhere else, but there's also another faint aura here. Someone else was here. A devil." Reimu commented more to herself than to Issei, though the latter kept track of the information. "One was obviously your murderer, who was honestly pretty stupid if you ask me. What an amateur. Didn't even mangle or destroy your body at all. Would've made it harder if she did that."

Issei didn't want to really think deeper into that statement.

"The devil…" At that, Reimu narrowed her eyes in focus. "Teleported in, it looks like. There's a burst of energy, but no trail."

Her eyes scrunched, as if trying to hone in on whatever she wanted.

"Too hard to tell from here. Gotta get closer." Reimu eventually finalized, turning back towards Issei. "Hey kid, we're moving out."

"Where?" Issei absentmindedly asked.

Reimu hummed for a moment before pointing a thumb in some random direction. "That way."

"Uhhh… How can you even tell to go that way?" The high schooler questioned, suspicious of the sudden dubiousness of her actions.

"Eh." The miko shrugged, giving no confidence to him. "Gut feeling."

The devil sighed again. He felt like he was doing that way more often around Reimu than he had his entire life already.

"Let's just go then." Issei carelessly spoke, beginning to move towards wherever Reimu had pointed at.

xXx

How did his life come to this again?

Was Issei surprised? Should he be?

In front of him, was the esteemed Kuoh Academy, where he was supposed to be at the moment, rather than playing hooky with the shrine maiden he was paying to investigate how he became a devil.

Midway through the walk, Issei realized that this route seemed familiar. He was befuddled and completely out of it while following this whack shrine maiden around, so he hadn't noticed what was going on. As he got closesr though, and the looming place of academics came closer, he cursed his luck even further.

Who was that bastard who said something about "the devil's luck?" It was bullshit, as far as he was concerned. This was the worst luck he had ever had in his entire life.

"Hyoudou. Why are you late?"

Oh god. No, just please. No. He couldn't take any more of this.

In front of him was the esteemed Student Council President, who had caused his group no end of punishments.

"Sona-kaichou. Please, let me explain…"

Issei did his best, he honestly did. His mouth automatically moved to try and explain the situation.

It wasn't meant to be though as Kaichou turned towards the miko he hired.

"And who is she?"

Issei couldn't even formulate a proper explanation, as Kaichou frostily looked over towards his hired help.

Reimu hadn't seemed to pay any attention, looking at Sona, but more focused on… whatever it was.

"Hmm. A lot of similar auras, but not the same one." She muttered, apparently not even bothering with the intimidating presence of the student council president.

"Excuse me?" Kaichou replied, not quite sure how to respond to this situation.

"Hey, you. Devil girl." Reimu blatantly addressed.

One shock after another, Issei had never, ever seen Kaichou's eyes widened as wide as she did.

"H-huh?" The student council president seemed just as shocked as him.

And what was that Reimu said? Devil girl? Issei turned towards Sona in complete befuddlement.

"Interesting barrier you got, to tell you guys specifically when someone you don't know shows up." Reimu commented, glancing at some invisible spot that Issei couldn't tell. "Anyway, I'm looking for someone with an aura like this. You know them?"

The shrine maiden held up an ofuda, which flashed white. All of a sudden, a black and red flame appeared above it, chaotically trying to eat away at some invisible forcefield. It proved strong however, unable to escape the ofuda containing it. When had she even captured that? He didn't even see at all!

Sona-kaichou took another moment to stare at the ofuda, before looking back towards Reimu. The devil? Issei assumed, sighed as she pinched the bridge between her nose.

"An actual miko… Hyoudou brought an actual miko." The student council president whispered before schooling her expression to reply. "I'm familiar with that energy, yes. May I ask who you are?"

Reimu smugly smiled. "I'm Reimu Hakurei, a shrine maiden. Issei hired me to find out how he's become a devil. The trail led me here."

"Rias… you idiot…" Issei barely made out the words Sona spoke quietly before the latter addressed them. "Classes are currently still in session for the majority of students. If you would not mind explaining your intentions?"

She pointedly looked at Issei for an explanation.

"R-right. Umm." He stammered. "It's what Miko-san said. I hired her because I've been feeling weaker in the mornings. I wanted to see what was going on. I didn't know I became a… devil."

Like you, went unsaid from Issei, as he hadn't missed that Sona was apparently a devil too, based on what Reimu said. For Christ's sake, if he learned anything more mindblowing, he'd probably just check himself into a mental asylum.

"We can take him off your hands here, Hakurei-san." Sona offered, though it seemed to come across as, strangely, protective?

Reimu crossed her arms, and raised an eyebrow pointedly. "My job's not done. I need to see how he's apparently revived as a devil. Afterwards, I want to get paid. Then I'll leave."

Issei had a very distinct feeling that Reimu was unused to things not going her way.

"Very well then. Follow me please." Sona frowned, but acquiesced.

She turned and began walking through the entrance, then towards the back of the school. Reimu nudged him forward to follow before moving in kind as well.

Wasn't this the direction the elusive Occult Research Club?

AN: Inspired by LookItsADoggy's Fantasy (Phantasm) X Fantasy (Reality)