Open for Business
"My first contract!" Issei shouted excitedly, pumping his fist into the air as he rode his bicycle around Kuoh town. Someone from another house yelled at him to shut up, but nothing could dampen his mood!
Sure, he died just a few days ago, but it was totally made up by the fact that he had joined the ever illusive, "Occult Research Club." And not only was he now the envy of his 2 friends, but he was also under the care of two of the girls who had the biggest breasts he'd seen in high school! The Kendo Club had nothing on them, that was for sure.
Already, his first steps as a Harem King was already beginning! With over a century to live, surely he would be able to form the harem of his dreams! He was in a pretty lowly position now, but that didn't deter him at all!
Though…
He stopped pedaling his bike momentarily and balanced himself before proceeding to pull out a piece of paper written on it. Buchou had gave him a list of requests that he could do as a first timer, and this one appeared one of the more interesting ones, so he chose this one.
"I don't remember there being this kind of shop on this street. Must be new or something. Or maybe like Buchou, they were hiding in plain sight?"
He looked up, to make sure the location was correct and yup, sure enough. It was.
"Kirisame Magic Shop?"
The shop looked innocent enough, though it stuck out like a sore thumb. It looked much older than the surrounding houses, giving a rather rustic feel. Calling it a black sheep in the middle of a bunch of white houses was literally, accurate, as the walls were painted black with wood to help reinforce some of the aging parts of it. Issei definitely would've noticed a store like this, even if this street wasn't one that he frequented regularly. If anything, gossip and rumors about a place like this being kooky would've been brought up, even at school, which was strange.
Ahh well! Nothing to it! Maybe the owner was someone eccentric. Who was he to talk anyway with his regular declarations and goal to become a Harem King?
The lights through the window were still on, so he assumed the shop was still open. He dismounted from his bicycle, leaned it against the wall, and took a deep breath. Gathering up his courage and dispelling his nervousness, he knocked on the front door.
"Hello? You requested a devil?" Issei spoke, attempting to keep his voice firm, but not loud enough that the surrounding people would hear.
"Ahh! Yeah! Come on in!" A feminine voice came from inside, which Issei took as permission to head on in.
The moment he opened the door, an explosion rumbled from inside, knocking him onto his butt, more from the shock rather than the force.
"Ahhh. Guess I should've been more careful. Woops." The voice coughed a few times, as Issei closed his eyes instinctively from the dust rushing into his eyes.
After a few seconds, he opened them again to look at what had just happened.
Glass was spread all over the floor, as well as some blue and red liquid that he had no idea was. A cork next to it, it looked like she had just dropped something, causing it to explode.
His eyes turned upwards.
A female, older than him for sure. Her blonde hair and yellow eyes gave him the sense that she was a foreigner, instead of a native Japanese, not that he cared much for it. Her general color scheme was black and white, and her attire included a black vest and skirt, along with a white waist apron and undershirt. Her hair was braided on one side with a white bow. Rounding out the outfit, was a comical black witch hat, also wrapped with a white bow, oversized enough to droop over the woman's head. How the same hat didn't just fall over her eyes, he had no idea.
"Huh, you're not one of the devils I know." She commented, hands around her waist as she took in Issei's figure.
"No, I'm new…" He automatically replied. "And what the heck are you doing? Why did that… potion explode?"
Issei pointedly looked at the alchemical hazard that was now, somehow sizzling and eating through the floorboard.
"Ahh, that? Just an experiment that went a little outta control. No big deal." She shrugged off nonchalantly, as if this was a usual thing for her. "Anyway, yer' just in time!"
"For what?" He questioned, as he stood up from the floor.
"I hired someone ta' help clean my shop. Normally, I got someone else ta' do it fer' me, but they're not in town today, so I'm hirin' ya' instead." She bluntly answered, already moving to grab a broom from behind the counter to sweep up the broken glass on the floor. "
That… that was it? Issei thought to himself. That was much less anticlimactic than he thought. Not that he minded. All her request really amounted to was just a chore that sounded like this client was too lazy to do for herself. Then again…
He eyed the bubbling blue liquid on the floor, which was somehow shifting colors to rainbow.
Maybe this was more dangerous than he thought, if he was going to be dealing with substances like this.
"I'll just.. ignore that for now then." He muttered to himself, hoping to keep his sanity intact with this coocoo magician. "So, I'm just supposed to clean?"
"Yup, easy right? Ya' can just get started on the back and we'll see if we got more ta' do. All ya' gotta do is just dust around the room, then the front. And don't touch any of the books. They might eat ya'. Or shoot bullets at ya.' Don't really remember which ones do which." She thumbed towards an open door, which distinctly had some shelves with innocent looking books, straight out of some fantasy works.
Issei's mind tried to process everything she had just said, but finally determined that maybe he should just ignore half of everything she said. He moved towards the back, taking extra care to keep his hands to himself outside of cleaning whatever he was supposed to.
xXx
"Huh. That was a lot faster than I expected." The witch lookalike commented, giving a boyish grin towards Issei. "Kinda impressed, not gonna lie."
"Yeah…" Issei sighed exhaustively to himself, sitting down on a stool that his employer set down for him.
Said boss slapped his back energetically. "If Alice ain't around, I think I'll just hire ya' again. I could get used ta' cleanin' like this."
"Thanks, I think." Issei sheepishly rubbed his head, not used to being complimented by a female. "I'm curious though…"
"Hmm? "Bout what?" She leaned forward on the counter, head in hand as she grinned at him.
Issei was just… interested. Yeah. Definitely not scared.
"Were the books really going to eat or shoot me if I actually touched them? I have to know." Issei blatantly asked, shuddering at what an eating book would look like.
"Nah, I was jus' kiddin'. Mostly." The witch replied, which Issei gave a deadpan look at. "Ya' gotta actually open 'em for the traps ta' trigger, and I removed 'em years ago. Better safe than sorry tho'."
This girl…
"How do you know if there's a trap on one of the books? I don't want to be eaten just because I got curious and opened one up." Issei asked, though he could feel his irritation rising at the reckless nature of his employer.
The blonde shrugged. "If ya' ain't magically inclined, than ya' just gotta open it up and hope for da' best. Otherwise, the spellwork'll tell ya if it's got some protections."
"So it's really just a gamble. Kind of like gacha." Issei commented, trying to simplify it for himself. "There's no item or tool to just tell you and disable it? Like in games?"
The witch placed a finger under her chin as she hummed to herself. "Mmm, there's a couple, yeah. Not all that hard ta' make either. But those'll only get the generic, low-level ones. The high and even some mid-level traps are more unique, who might have some signature magic, so it might be hit or miss on whether the tool disables it. It might detect it, but dependin' on what it is, it might not do anythin'. Plus, ya' can't always tell if the magic on a grimoire is harmful or not.
"So there's magic on books that aren't all traps or curses?" Issei asked, curiosity piqued on how a book could have different functions on it.
"Yup. Ya' could have an effect that'll make the words invisible ta' everyone except you when ya' read it. Or have it auto-translate ta' a certain language so you can understand it. Lotta stuff ya' can do, long as yer' creative." His boss answered happily, holding up a few fingers as she listened a few examples. "Me? If I'm lookin' for certain texts or things, the magic'll highlight it fer' me whenever it crops up in a book if I need ta' check somethin' real quick.
That actually sounded kind of cool, Issei admitted to himself. Buchou told him that his magic was so atrocious that he couldn't even teleport to a client's house, leading him to need to ride his bicycle. He couldn't do anything his client said, but that didn't make magic any less interesting from how she was describing it. If his textbooks had any of what she listed, it'd be helpful for school honestly.
"Anyway!" She exclaimed, snapping Issei out of his thoughts. "I gotcha fer'…"
She glanced at the antique clock on the wall. "'Bout 'nother half hour? If ya' want, I don't mind if ya' wanna leave now, and I can just pay ya'."
Huh, this woman was a lot more chill than Issei expected, as long as he ignored certain aspects of what he saw so far. He was honestly tempted to take her offer, but…
"Nah, it's fine." He waved his hand in refusal. "I'll just stay here, since that's what you're paying me for."
She gave a rather charming grin at him, he admitted. "Sure! I don't mind some decent company. I got a couple questions for ya' that I'm kinda curious 'bout."
"Uhh, okay. I'm new, but I'll answer what I can. Could I ask who you are though? It feels a bit awkward not knowing when I just cleaned your shop." He ran a hair through his head embarrassingly.
"Oh right. Woops." His boss exclaimed. "Thought I put my name down along with my address on the note though when I filled out the request. Ahh well! It's Marisa Kirisame! Ordinary human magician, at yer' service!"
xXx
Issei's next encounter with Marisa Kirisame was as bombastic as the last. Literally, as the abandoned warehouse he, Buchou, and the rest of the Occult Research Club were going to enter, exploded. The weakened doors on the front blasted out towards them as Koneko leapt to the front and knocked the door aside.
"What!?" Rias shouted in surprise, clearly not expecting a third party to be involved in their target.
Today was when he was supposed to learn about how stray devil hunts were done, as they were threats for exposing the supernatural to the mundane.
"Koneko, take the front and investigate. Kiba, behind her. We'll take the back line for magical support!" Buchou ordered, erasing her casual ease and confidence in favor of practicality.
"Yes!"
They followed her words to the letter, with Koneko taking the front as the Rook and designated "tank" for the team. At least, that's what he thought as it made it easier to remember things to compare it to works he was familiar with.
"Come on, Alice! Ya' know what I say! It ain't magic if it ain't flashy! Danmaku's all about firepower!"
A voice shouted from inside, and a very familiar one at that, considering it was just a couple days ago that he heard it.
"There is such a thing as too much. Blowing her entirely apart won't leave anything left for you."
That one, he didn't know, though it was much more elegant sounding than Marisa's exuberant tone.
"Yeah, but that's what I have you for!"
His group entered the abandoned warehouse, and to their shock, 2 people were already inside. Marisa's attire hadn't changed any, but the other girl was dressed completely differently. It was hard to see from the back, but she wore a light blue dress with short white sleeves and 2 pink ribbons. One around her waist and the other around her shawl. The shawl was white, not too different in design from the Kuoh Academy's girl uniform, laid around her neck.
Unlike Marisa, who appeared distinctly like a western witch, this person was much more… doll-like.
"Marisa. We have company." Marisa's companion commented, glancing at them quickly, before turning back towards whatever they were facing.
Issei's eyes widened in disgust at the supposed target. A big blob of fat, with a female head, distorted beyond repair. And while he proclaimed himself a lover of boobs, big or small, he was absolutely certain that these oversized, sagging ones on this…. Monster was not supposed to be spewing acid all over the floor.
"Ahh crap. Welp, Might as well just end it in a bang with this new thing I made. Good time ta' test it." Marisa huffed, reaching into her hat, and pulling out a beaker filled with the same blue liquid he observed the other day. "Go! Magic Napalm, mark 2!"
She threw it at the horrendous beast, and it appeared as if such a small potion would do nothing in the first place. That is, until it exploded, right in the center mass of the monster. The liquid that somehow stayed as a liquid, splashed onto the enemy, before causing several smaller explosions that he lost count of.
Issei could do nothing as the horror died with explosive fanfare, much like how he first met Marisa.
"Marisa…" The other female sighed deeply, sounding disappointed in her companion.
"See Alice?" Marisa flew, flew! Down towards the referred person via a broom. "Told ya' things would be fine as long as you were around."
Alice didn't even dignify that sentence with a response, instead, choosing to turn towards the Occult Research Club. The dolls Issei had missed earlier in his observation floated in front of her, pointing various weapons at them. Weapons, ranging from swords, lances, and even a jousting lance on a couple of them that looked as equally sharp as they were kind of cute. Dexterous fingers maneuvered as they flew into position, controlled by Alice.
The entirety of his group kept their guard up, though Issei spoke up.
"Kirisame-san, is that you?" He shouted, trying to push to the front, though Koneko was holding him back. Irritation danced in her eyes, but that didn't deter him from clapping eyes with said witch.
Shocked for one second, before earnestly smiling at him, she waved. "Hey, Issei! What's up? What brings you guys here?"
"Ahaha…" Issei scratched his head awkwardly. "Well, I was supposed to learn about stray devil hunts today, and I think that thing you killed was supposed to be our target."
He glanced at Marisa's friend, who still appeared wary, while his own group mimicked her attitude.
"Issei, who is this?" Rias asked politely, though even he could tell that she was looking for as much information as possible on these two strangers.
"Oh. That's Kirisame-san. She's my first client!" He answered honestly. "I helped clean her magic shop the other day, and we kind of hit it off."
"Clean, Marisa?" Alice glowered at Marisa as the latter chuckled nervously.
"Ehehe. Well I mean, ya' weren't gonna be back for a while, and I'm not really all that great at cleanin', so I thought I'd just hire someone ta' do it." She explained, scratching at her cheek with her finger with her eyes closed.
Once more, Alice closed her eyes and sighed in frustration, though despite her attitude, Issei could tell that she was primed to attack anytime as needed. The body language she held mirrored too closely to the Kendo Club, whom he had one too many encounters with when they were angry. Plus, the dolls didn't move an inch from their floating position.
"Anyway, this is obviously some misunderstandin.' Let's just calm down and chat, alright?" Marisa tried to defuse the tense situation, jumping off her broom and laying the cleaning end on top of her shoulder.
Alice glimpsed at her momentarily, then as if communicating with just their eyes, subtly nodded her head, and lowered her hand. The dolls moved accordingly, floating back next to Alice and Marisa, rather than in front.
"Very well then." Rias affirmed, magic brewing her fingertips, silencing as her arms slackened to her sides with the rest of the Occult Research Club doing the same.
"See? Now ya' obviously have us at a disadvantage. What do we call ya'?" Marisa questioned first, tilting her head in curiosity.
"My name is Rias Gremory, and this is my peerage." Rias introduced herself.
"Gremory? Ars Goetia then?" The witch cocked an eyebrow, glancing at Alice for whatever silent communication they had again, before replying. "Issei already said it, but I'm Marisa Kirisame. This is my friend, Alice Margatroid."
Said friend bowed respectfully and cutely enough, the dolls did as well. "It's a pleasure to meet you."
"What were the two of you doing here? We didn't know there would be magicians here in our territory." Rias asked, suspicion in her tone. "As overseers of this town, we're supposed to have knowledge of all supernatural elements in order to prevent it from being exposed to the average population."
"Huh? Thought I sent a notification like, a month or two ago." Marisa appeared genuinely confused from what Issei saw. "Either way, Alice and I already sent one, but after like a week or two, we never got an answer, so we just moved in."
"I see…" Rias replied, trying to remember if such a thing passed her or Sona's desk. It was feasible that she could have missed it, so it wasn't completely unreasonable.
"And the stray devil here was causin' some problems, so we figured that we might as well just take care of it ourselves."
Marisa continued explaining, grinning all the while from cheek to cheek.
Rias huffed, scolding herself for possibly missing this. "Very well then. We'll just overlook this for now. I'm sorry if we missed your form. Would you mind sending another application, just so we have it on record and there's no further problems? I will personally check for it myself."
"Sure! No problem! And we'll let ya' know if we're headed out fer' more hunts." The braided blonde gave an enthusiastic thumbs up.
"Thank you for your cooperation. If you would not mind leaving so we could repair the damage to this building, we would appreciate it." Rias respectfully asked, getting another animated agreement." Then please, have a good evening."
And with that, Marisa and Alice proceeded to begin leaving. Issei waved goodbye to the former as the Occult Research Club began doing as Rias said.
After some distance from the altercation and some slight observations around the environment to make sure there were no familiars or signs of being overheard, Alice spoke up.
"You didn't actually send a form to the overseers, did you." Alice bluntly stated, already knowing what Marisa's response was going to be.
"Heh, nope!" Marisa outright admitted. "Too late now though! Still got the body part and acid?"
"I kept it as hidden as I could after we were caught." Alice manipulated a doll to show the materials she had gotten.
"Yeah, figured they wouldn't let us keep anything if we mentioned that." The human took the materials and stuffed it into her hat.
"You know that contracting a devil to clean our place was a risk. So why did you do it?" Alice grumbled, but there was no hostility behind it.
"Ehh, got lazy. Think I'm too used to havin' ya' around." Marisa shrugged it off, poking Alice in the shoulder." 'Sides, the kid I got didn't seem that bad."
"You could just learn a spell to have the tools clean your messes. You're knowledgeable and skilled enough for that." Alice countered, crossing her arms in annoyance.
"I got better things to learn than that. Plus, havin' you clean means havin' you 'round longer to talk with!" Marisa grinned with Alice smiling back softly.
"Yes… You're right. That doesn't make it any less irritating, however."
The walk for the both of them was just as pleasant as every other.
xXx
Peddling his bike down the road again, Issei glimpsed at the note containing his client for tonight.
"Kirisame-san again huh? Guess she'll just have me clean her place again." He muttered to himself.
Rias had requested that Issei specifically handle her request. The former had admitted to wanting more information about Kirisame-san, considering that they apparently had no information about said girl. There were no public records and if there were, it was out of her clearance.
Issei didn't really see a problem, as there were stranger things to him than not having an identity. Plus, Kirisame-san seemed nice enough and meant no harm. In fact, she sort of reminded him of some magical girl anime, including one that his other client had asked to watch with him.
He shuddered at the stark contrast between "Mil-tan" and Kirisame-san. The former wasn't bad company by any means, but he was fairly certain that Kirisame-san would probably make a much better magical girl any day over Mil-tan.
"-ou shitty ass Magician!" Issei heard from the shop's vicinity.
That was a voice that he hadn't heard before.
"When I get outta here, I'm gonna beat the shit outta you! And you, Nun! What the fuck are you doing!? Get me out of here and I might just spare you from collaborating with these heretics!"
What the hell was going on?
Issei turned the corner on his bicycle, coming across a rather curious sight.
"See!? A devil! You see Nun!? Heathens!" The man screamed yet again as Issei turned towards the three people he was more familiar with.
"Issei-san!" Asia's panicked eyes turned to absolute relief as she ran towards him.
He got off his bicycle, glancing between the foul mouthed man and Asia, trying to make any sense of what was going on. Eventually, he gave up, and decided to turn towards the other two adults in the vicinity for any hope of sense.
"Oh hey, Issei. Look who we caught?" Marisa grinned, tugging a rope pointedly.
The swearing man was completely tied up with thick rope, though there were strings also wrapped around his entire body, including his arms, legs, and even face. The strings looked thin, though he could see them digging into the man's skin. Floating around him were the dolls he encountered the other night, courtesy of Alice. The lady smiled at him before maneuvering her hands to move one of the dolls to jab at his leg with a jousting spear.
"Ow ow ow! You bitch! Cut that shit out!"
"So I think we might need to change the request that we asked of ya'." Marisa commented, seemingly out of the blue.
"Huh?" Issei gave a confused at his client.
"Yeah, ya' up for a BDSM party with this kook? He's like a pinata and it's actually kind of fun." The witch tugged the rope again, causing the man to spout further insults at her. "See?"
Alice gave her partner a deadpan look while Asia appeared utterly confused at what was being said.
What the fuck was even going on?