SuDo Madhouse

by BigBJ

To others Hanna Frey is what she wants others to see, but Sam is the only one that sees her true side. However, given that Hanna has reincarnated into multiple dimensions and universes, it's no wonder that she might have a few screws loose. Follow the adventures of Hanna and Samantha throughout their life. OC-SI into Hanna Frey, A journey of damnation and maybe redemption.

39. Chapter 39: Methodology

SU POV

Everything is not moving, it's just static, and she isn't moving anywhere. It's just a cycle and everything is spinning in place. A world of hallways is spinning around her, but she's stuck in the middle.

Su doesn't know what she's doing… days seem to pass her by like a trance, she goes to groups but the second she enters one she checks out. She knows the machine… and to a certain extent, Sue wants her to be fully engrossed in these… group therapy-activity things, but she just can't.

Yet she can't stand the people she has to listen to in those groups and since she's been told to 'do no harm' if she wants that warmth and to do so, she can't even think of harming them… so, she just shuts down.

It's been like this for days, and the days are blurring together into an ugly blob of disgusting memories. It's like a routine, every day is the same thing. She wakes up at the crack of dawn, does her morning hygiene stuff and goes to breakfast before everyone comes in, then leaves just as the first weirdoes starts pouring in.

When there's nothing to do, which is most of the time, she does her normal walking routine and by this point she knows these hallways like it's the back of her hand. Every water stain, every wallpaper tear, every blown-out light. Heck, she can even walk these hallways blindfolded… which sometimes she feels like with how hazy her days tend to become… and the people, for some reason tend to ignore or avoid her during her walks, which is very much appreciated.

Then when it's time for her to go to those deranged group sessions, and just… well… let's just say time moves fast when she's just staring off at the clock until the session ends. When lunch time rolls over, she doesn't go to the eating place the first chance she gets and just wanders through the hallways for the millionth time while waiting for that horde of goblins to leave the dining room before grabbing something to eat.

After lunch, depending on the days, sometimes she has to go to yet another useless group session or on the better days she's free to do as she pleases, which means… she doesn't have anything to do and just walk through these hallways yet again. Sometimes, she'll stop by a window and look out of it if there's something that catches her eye, like a squirrel jumping from three to three or a feral cat prancing through the 'hospital' grounds. And like always, everyone avoids her, and she ignores everyone that she passes by.

During certain days, she'll have to meet the hag, like recently on… she can't remember what day it was… not like knowing what day it is matters to her while she's in here, since every day is just the same and the only thing that differentiate what day is what is that faceless nurse that she just never remembers, who always points out where she needed to go.

Nonetheless, during her recent visit to the hag… it implied that Su might be experiencing dissociative episodes throughout the day and that's just a load of horse manure. Nothing looks out of the ordinary, no giant mangos or miniature heads and she would have known if she's experiencing those… episodes again. That's something she'll never forget in this life, the sensation, the feeling like nothing is right.

That hag is clearly not qualified to be a doctor. Can't they see she's just fine? And of course, that hag in her nigh infinite wisdom increased the dose of whatever the heck pills she's been taking to combat this 'episodes'…

… those things she's taking must be the cause of her current disposition.

She ought to stop taking those awful pills for her own sanity… but that'll go against her deal with the machine and her seemingly only real chance of getting back the things she loves. Maybe she can only take like half a pill? No… those pesky people by the dispensary always checks if she swallowed or not and she can't blind them!

Argh… why is this just so hard?! She never thought that not 'killing' someone was so hard. This is just torturous. Maybe she can argue with the machine, but it's holding all the cards right now, and she's at its mercy.

When it's time for dinner, she doesn't have the same opportunity as she did for lunch since dinner time is shorter than lunch for some godforsaken reason. So, she has to join in with the goblins, but only when dinner time is almost up… Dinner time is always the worst of the three meals because it tends to be like group sessions, time just flies past her and she barely finishes eating her food by the time the dining hall closes up shop. Thankfully, the pests in uniform stopped bothering her about her meals after a few altercations, which she came out victorious.

The only positive aspect in an overall awful situation is that she realized during these blurry days is her taste… food no longer taste like ash or much of anything in fact. The only thing she can taste is the amount of salt in the food, which is a significant markup from just tasting ash for the past two decades.

The only semblance of normality and comfort in this unstable place is Root, whom sadly doesn't seem to be around much. At least that's whenever Su forgets to visit her only companion here. She had hoped to see more of Root throughout the unit or even in some of her groups, but alas, fate doesn't seem to be kind to her in her time of need. Almost as if their schedule doesn't match up at all.

Unless someone did plan their schedule in a way that they never meet each other… yeah, that sounds plausible and likely. Must be that hag… her only job since Su first meet that hag is to sabotage her with those awful drugs and now this.

Once again, that herculean task given by the machine stops her from putting things right. Sometimes she wonders if all of this torture is worth feeling that blissful warmth, but the moment whenever she speaks to the machine, it dispels any doubts of backing out of the deal.

That's the only conciliatory aspect of this whole song and dance, which is the warmth she gets from occasionally talking to it. Not long after Root came to this unit, Su went and borrowed a cellphone from one of the faceless nurses… or was it a tech? She honestly doesn't care, since it gave her a way to contact the machine without needing to wait for a call by the payphone.

The talks between her and the machine are quite sparse with it continuing being vague on what it wants with her and it's constant nagging at her on actually taking part in the groups which will almost most always dissolve into her lecturing that dang thing on how miserable it is. Yet the machine is very persistent and Su is just happy in feeling that addicting warmth. Heck, sometimes she feels the warmth just from the phone being in her pocket.

She still hasn't figured out what's causing the warmth… was it speaking to the machine or having it 'close' by her or was it to follow the machine's word? And thinking too much about that asshat's motivation might cause her to have an aneurysm.

As usual, the world around Su is basically a blur while she's walking, but it seems her feet know where to bring her as she comes to a stop in front of Root's room.

Standing there seemingly bring the world around her back into focus, as she notices people walking around her and avoiding walking in front of her.

Oh, right… she hasn't…

Su enters the room through the open door and takes her usual seat on Root's rock hard bed.

"Why hello Anna." Root says dully as she stops her writing and turns to Su with an annoyed look. "Please come in. I'm doing fine, thank you. Please take a seat."

Su quirks her head and asks. "Since when do you care about social protocol?"

"Since it pertains to my privacy." Root deadpans.

Su snorts. "We get no privacy here."

Root taps her marker on the table and makes a face that Su can't discern. "Doesn't mean I can't hold a modicum level of control over who enters my room."

"We don't control that either." Su waves away Root's unfounded concern as she slips off her 'shoes' and brings up her feet onto the bed and lends onto the wall. Which, oddly enough, is not as hard as the beds she's sitting on.

That fact alone shows how terrible this place is. How the heck do walls even get softer than beds? A complete dereliction of duty by the people who work here.

"You didn't come the past couple of nights." Root comment and gives Su a look before turning back to whatever she's been so focused on since her first day here.

Su can't help but smile at her friend's comment. She knew that Root would miss her, and she didn't need the machine to help her with this at all… but her absent was… unintentional.

Honestly, she can't even remember why she didn't visit Root last night… she remembers walking through those hallways and then in a snap, she's back in her room on her bed as curfew went into effect.

Probably happened the last few times and Su unintentionally made Root worry…

"Miss me already?" Su replies with amusement in her voice.

Root scoffs and shakes her head. "Yeah right."

Yup, Root missed her.

The machine might be better than Sue in when it comes to predicting humans, but it still has a lot more to learn. Her friend is already back to being her friend, like nothing ever happened, just like normal.

…

Yet every time she comes here, they barely talk… they don't talk at all or say anything to each other than their normal greetings whenever Su enters the room.

It's not like it was in the past where they took solace in each other company in the silence while they were busy doing their own work… Now it just feels off… like something still isn't right or is in balance.

…

Su shakes her head violently. No, nothing's wrong… there's no point in over thinking something that isn't there in the first place. Everything is fine and dandy. This is just some awkwardness that'll be smoothed over with time. Just like it was a few years ago when things were awkward when Root came back to her life and things turned out great after a few weeks.

Her gaze wanders away from Root and to the pile of books at the corner of her desk. The few times she's visited Root, she notices there's more and more books being stacked up there. And now, after a couple of days, there's like a dozen books there, up from half a dozen before.

She can't discern what books they are using by the titles, but it looks like most of it are fictions… Su can't remember the last time she read a fiction book for the joy of it… maybe a decade ago?

"You're getting books?" Su asks curiously.

"Yeah…" Root stops writing to glance at Su. "How else am I supposed to pass the time in this place?"

Su frowns at that odd development. "They let you get books?"

She can do that?

"Yeah?" Root fully turns towards Su and makes a face that says it's the most obvious thing. "It's written in the handbook that you can request for books if they have it in the library."

"Oh…" Su's eyes widen with surprise at that information.

Root gives Su a pointed look and says. "You really didn't read the rules of this place?"

Su shrugs while trying to hide her blush behind her knees. "Never thought it would be of any use…"

"You don't have any book in your room?" Root has a frown on her, and Su can't tell why.

"No?" Su replies with her question/answer as she doesn't know how to reply properly.

Root looks taken aback by that answer and… a look of concern? "The hell have you been doing to pass the time since coming here?"

Su scratches the side of her face in this awkward situation. "Aaaa… walks?"

"Seriously?" Root blinks her eyes as if there's something in her eyes and shakes her head. "It never crossed your mind to grab something at the library?"

Su know there's a pitifully small library in this ward for the inhabitants here, but she hasn't stepped foot in there yet.

"Yeah…" Su replies, confusingly at Root's tone. "Never thought of reading books."

Root scowls. "When was the last time you've read a book… or even a magazine?"

She shrugs again. "I'm not sure…" Su pauses for a second, trying to find the answer but can't. "Sue normally reads for me and gives me the summary of the stuff I needed to know."

There's a disgusted look on Root before saying. "The fuck?"

Why is her reaction so weird… what have these people been giving her?

Su rolls her eyes. "Can you not?"

"You were the biggest book worm I knew," Root ignores Su and points at her. "The fuck happened?"

Su recoils slightly and replies defensively. "Well, for most of the past decade, I didn't have the luxury of just sitting down with a book in hand and read."

The brunette scoffs. "Lucky both of us have all the time in the world right now."

What's going on with Root suddenly? This is just odd.

She can directly ask her what's going on… but that'll just be too awkward with how this conversation has been going.

So, let's deflect. "How do you get the books?"

That seems to catch Root's interest as she turns her entire body around and leans forward. "What privilege level are you on right now?"

Privilege level? What's… "Oh, I have no earthly idea."

"You still can't have markers in your room?" Root narrows her eyes as if she's trying to figure something out.

Su tilts her head at that queer question. "Yeah? These barbarians still won't let me keep things that aren't chained down. They must think I would steal their stuff."

"I don't think that's the reason." Root deadpans and shakes her head. "Let's just assume your privilege level is negative, and that doesn't exist… at least until now."

"Hey now that's uncharitable." Su protests.

Root gives her a deadpan stare before continuing. "First, you need to get your level up before you're allowed to bring books back to your room."

"What level are you?" Su asks out of curiosity.

"Gloria says it's two." Root easily answers.

Su follows it up with… "Who's Gloria?"

Root gives her a look like she just asked the most obvious question. "The blonde nurse that's a decade older than us. You usually see her going around checking on the patients during the day shift."

She gives a second to think but, "Doesn't ring a bell."

"Who she is doesn't matter." Root waves her hand. "All that matter for you is to get your privilege up."

The way Root says it, it's like she's supposed to know how…

"And how do I do that?" Su slowly asks.

Root lets out a sigh. "Easiest one for you is to participate in groups."

Su perks up at that answer. "Oh, I'm already going to those accursed things."

The other brunette is giving her the side eye and says. "Then I guess you just have to convince these people that you're not going to stab them."

"How the heck do I do that? I haven't done anything in weeks now." Su expresses her legitimate gripe against the 'doctor'.

"How the fuck should I know?" Root snaps at Su and sounds like she's frustrated. "Talk to your doc or something."

Su rolls her eyes and props her head on her knees. "That hag is basically sabotaging my 'recovery,' or whatever the heck they think I need."

"Just what did you do to get a basic right removed?"

Su shrugs as she leans back onto the wall and answers casually. "How would I know? I just walked out during the night."

Root scrunches her face before turning back to her desk and starts writing again. And if Su listens properly, she can hear Root muttering under her breath, but she can't make out what she says.

Maybe she should start reading stuff again since she's not involving Sue during this period… might even find it entertaining enough to pass the time… and who knows… maybe like her slowly improvement in the food tasting department, she might finally be able to enjoy books again.

After what it feels like tens of minutes of silence, she says. "Can I see one of your books?"

"Sure." Root, without looking back at Su, grabs one of the books in the pile and tosses it to Su.

Who doesn't catch it and lands smack middle on Su's chest. "Oof."

She peers down onto the book and sees the title… Neuromancer. What's that supposed to mean? Looks like fiction.

"You're still shitty at catching things." Root comments dully as she glances at Su.

Su rubs her chest and grabs the book. "You really have a thing in hitting me in the chest."

Thankfully, it's a small book.

Root holds her gaze at Su for a moment before turning back to her desk and mutters loudly. "Sorry, wasn't intentional."

"It's fine… the techs tackles are more painful." Su comments as she opens the book.

"What?" Root turns back to Su.

But she ignores her friends as she opens the first chapter page.

The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel…

The world around her dims as she reads the book, and all the noises dies down into a low buzz as she reads on.

Time moves at an odd pace as her brain automatically ingests the contents of the book like an old muscle memory that's been atrophied. As she continues on reading the book, the darkness at the edge of her eyes slowly creeps into the middle of her eyes until there's nothing. A blank nothingness…

…

…

…

With a rush of air entering her lungs, she snaps her eyes wide open and gasp for air. Su finds herself lying down in her room as the lights outside dims down for the night.

When did she come back here?

The toilet lights are on… and her desks is empty as usual.

She shifts up from her position and rubs her eyes as she tries to… reorient herself. There's no book on her and this is clearly her room.

… Did she blank out again? That can't be it… she's never walked while blanking out before and this isn't the first time she's experienced this…

Was that book so boring that her brain decided to delete any memory of it?

No… Not really. She can vaguely remember the chapters she read, but she can't remember leaving Root's room.

Argh… this is annoying, and it hurts her brain in thinking about it. Let's just chalk it up to the bad 'medicines'… yeah, that's the easiest reason she can think of.

Slamming her body back onto the rock-hard bed, she closes her eyes. If only she can have these odd blackouts when she needs to sleep, at least she'll get a good night's sleep.

At that moment, she feels a vibration coming from beneath her.

*BUZZ*

Oh, right… this'll be a good distraction for her.

She worms her hand to the underside of her mattress and grabs the phone. Bringing up the phone she borrowed, she sees the battery is low, and it's an unknown caller. Who is it trying to fool?

Rolling her eyes, she answers. "Hello there."

"HOW. ARE. YOU?"

She can't help but smile at the warmth entering her body. "Peachy."

"OBSERVED. USUAL. WALKING. BEHAVIOR. AND. NOT. PARTICIPATING."

"Ugh… I'm trying, okay?" Su laments silently and lets out a sigh. "It's… just hard to focus when everyone in there are troglodytes."

"TOLERATING. HUMANS. IS. NECESSERY. FOR. FUTURE. ACTIVITIES."

"I don't need you to tell me that." Su replies, annoyingly. "I've been tolerating humans for longer than you've been alive. It's just that these people tick me off."

"WHY. IS. THAT."

"How would I know? They're humans. You should count yourself lucky that none of them have done anything that would cause an unfortunate accident." Su snaps back at the machine. "Shouldn't you and your fancy predicting model know why?"

"NO."

"Ain't that a humbling fact…" Su chuckles. "The great Northern Lights don't know what I'm thinking."

The machine didn't instantly reply, choosing to be silent for a few seconds before…

"YOU. SEE. YOURSELF. IN. THEM."

"Now you're just pulling my leg." Su lets out a small chuckle at the joke the machine is cracking. It really is growing up fast. A few days ago, it's so serious about everything and now it's cracking jokes. "Why in the world would I ever see myself as any of those humans?"

"BECAUSE. THEY. ARE. FAULTY. LIKE. YOU."

"Oh, put a sock in it." Su rolls her eyes once more but pauses… The machine is partly right though… her brain in this life has been faulty for years, starting from when she had those 'episodes' and now whatever the heck is going on with her.

"This is nothing… nothing at all… I'm perfect, this… this is just a bump in on the road in my long life." Su rambles, trying to find the words to placate the disembodied voice. "I'm nothing like them and they're nothing like me."

Once again, the machine didn't reply right away and was silent for a solid minute before saying…

"TELL. ME. ABOUT. YOUR. DAY."

If she was insane, she would have said that the jumbled voices sounded like its being kind.

Every time the machine calls her it always asks her about her day and Su isn't blind to the fact that it's not from the kindness of the machine's figurative heart, and it's a ploy for it to gain more insight into her behavior so it can build a model on her. But… the warmth is insanely addictive.

"What's there to say? It's just the same as you asked yesterday. Nothing interesting." Su replies dully and shifts her position so she can see her door.

"I. AM. INTERESTED."

Might as well milk as much time with the machine as she can so she can bask in the warmth longer.

Su lets out a sigh. "Fine."

She'll need to borrow a phone charger too or borrow another phone, if she wants this warmth to continue… and maybe work her way back into getting books in here.

---

ROOT POV

As much as she tries, the uncomfortable feeling she had since yesterday can't be extinguished by her only focusing on her code. She stops writing and leans back in her chair to let out a sigh of tiredness… the day just began and she's already mentally exhausted. Add to the fact that she didn't get the best sleep last night.

The fact that she's been so preoccupied with this topic since last night is aggravating… and worrisome.

Su's been odd… first Root didn't see that woman for a few days and when she sees her, that woman looks completely out of it. The conversation was odd, but it wasn't too bad, if she discounts the brunette's forgetfulness, and it told her much about Su's condition other than her completely stopping reading books. Which onto itself is a whole separate issue. Like since when? But that's something she can figure out later since it's not a pressing matter.

Then when she started to read the book… that woman completely zoned out, but it wasn't the usual ones. She didn't notice it first for a few minutes, only when the complete and utter silence from behind her she felt like something went wrong. Root saw the woman's eye movement, reading the book and Su turning pages, but when Root called out her name, there was no response… hell, she even poked the woman a few times and there wasn't any response. Su just continued on reading the book without a care in the world… no, it was more like for Su, there was no outside world other than the world of the book.

If she's being honest with herself, it freaked her the fuck out and bringing flashbacks of the past where Su was having her episodes… but the past was the past and now Su's in her shit list, so she went back to her seat and tried to continue writing her code.

Not that it was successful, as she constantly peered behind her and check if the other woman was still alive or not. Then, like the snap of the finger, the woman drops the book and walks out of the room, without uttering a single world, like she's been possessed.

Root, stunned at that absolutely weird display of dissociation, completely derailed any thought she had on writing the code, and with haste grabbed the book. Which she finds a dog ear bookmark one-third through the book… at least she planned on continuing reading it again?

Her mind was plagued with thoughts of what the fuck happened and why the fuck that happened. Did a topic in the book triggered something in Su's fucked up brain? There shouldn't be anything in there that's offensive… like hell, most of the things in there are shit Su and Root personally experienced and that shit never happened before.

The more theories she came up with, the more questions it brings forth… and nothing made much sense. Unless Su having some kind of allergic reaction to the meds she's taking, but other people should have noticed it…

Root takes a deep breath, drops her marker and with both hands smacks her face.

What's the point of lingering on this? All of the shit she's gone through because of that woman and yet Root still worries about that bitch. Just doesn't make any logical sense…

It's probably nothing, and she's being overdramatic. Just let it be… and the world will still be spinning.

Right at that moment, a knock on her door tears her away from her self-pity moment and looks at the intruder. "Robin… Are you doing well? You look… stressed."

Guess stress is a proper word for what she's feeling…

"I'm doing just great." Root says with a smile, but her voice is rougher than she would have liked.

"Just a bit of a headache from changing meds." Root deflects from her 'real' problem with an actual issue she's been having for a few days now. "The pharmacist says Diazepam is easier to get off than Ativan, something about the half-life of the compounds. Can't imagine what this would feel like for someone who's been on it for more than 25 days…" A shiver went down her spine at the thought, and she put on a smile. "Other than that, I'm doing pretty great."

"You sure?" Gloria doesn't look convinced in the slightest.

Continuing on with a plastered-on smile, she replies. "Of course, why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, you've been here for almost a week now, and while we don't expect you to go to any activities on your first day… you haven't been to any of the group since. You infrequently come out for meals, and when you do, you take your meals back here… then there's the fact that you're not socializing with any of your fellow patients. Everyone is starting to get a little worried." The blonde gives a rapid blitz of a rundown of everything she's been doing without losing breath.

What she means is that they're worried about their KPI, isn't it?

"You need not worry." She comments as she resumes writing her code. "I'm keeping myself busy, out of trouble and taking meds doc prescribed. Just ask Linda. She knows I'm always on the line on scheduled and on time."

"Other than interacting with your cousin, you're socially withdrawn since coming to this unit." Gloria says placidly as she enters her room without Root's consent and comes nearer to her desk.

"You're not participating in your treatment, and you spend your all of your time in here, writing…" Gloria's tone shifts from placidity to one of accusation? Root can't tell. "… that."

"Just because you can't read programming languages doesn't mean what I'm writing is gibberish or letters of a lunatic." Root replies dismissively and shakes her head. "You can get any competent programmer to look over my work if…"

"Like your cousin?" Gloria interrupts her. "Her file says she's a programmer like you."

Root makes a face. "Well, you could, but I rather not."

"You don't want to share this with your cousin?"

"There's the fact that she's going to nick pick on every line of code I write." Root waves her hand in annoyance. "But that's not the reason… I'm writing in Haskell and as good as a programmer she is, she only writes in C and its derivatives, out of pure stubbornness. And I really don't want to be the one to teach her a new language, so she can just criticize what I've written."

Plus, she has no clue if that brain of hers can even compute anything new from what she saw last night.

"That's fair." Gloria nods and leans by her desk. "But why are you writing code by hand in the first place? Isn't it kinda pointless?"

Root shrugs. "I like programming and I can't think of anything better to do for the next month. It's always good to have a project to do, exercise the mind and keeps atrophy away." She finishes her sentence at the same time she finishes writing on the entire piece of paper and she grabs another fresh paper to start the next line.

"You can try going to groups." Gloria says with an unimpressed tone and crosses her arms.

"That's way more pointless than this." Root retorts back with a chuckle as she glides through the page with her marker. "This keeps me in practice while the other one… What am I going to do with a circle jerk about trauma? What trauma am I supposed to talk about? Then cognitive-behavioral therapy? What's that supposed to be? People sitting around in circles talking about their petty woes? Hand holding and singing kumbaya?"

"And anger management… do I look angry to you?" Root lets out a raspy laugh before pausing and frowning. "Great, now I can't remember what this flag is supposed to lead to." She taps the butt of her marker in annoyance and then looks up at Gloria. "Look, something isn't going my way and I'm not exploding in rage. I'm completely fine… not angry at all."

"If you went to one, you might find a valuable lesson in them." Gloria replies, completely undeterred.

"Maybe, but we're not going to find out because…" Root takes out the little handbook from her drawer without taking her eyes off Gloria. "… this says you can't make me go anywhere I don't want to. You can't even lay a finger on me unless I refuse medication or I become a threat to myself or to others. It's well within my prerogative to choose not to spend my time hanging out with a bunch of mental patients."

"You are a mental patient, Robin." Gloria seemingly is losing her patience with Root. "And if we have to, we can drop you to privilege level one, which means you need to leave this room and be in line of sight at all times."

"Then I'll write in the hallway by the nurses' station." Root replies without skipping a beat. "It's no skin off my nose. Both chairs there and here are equally crap, but it is a valid line-of-sight location where I can continue on with my work."

"Your cousin will not be able to visit you here." Gloria says it like it's a trump card.

Rolling her eyes, she replies. "Oh my, what a deterrence… and can you even stop her? What's up with that, huh? You folks been pussy footing around her the entire time like she's some wild bear."

If looks can murder someone, then Gloria has it. "You know… I've never been stuck with a patient as noncompliant and disrespectful as you, Robin. You're not psychotic, delusional, or confused. You're just stubbornly grasping what whatever threads of control you can."

Root lets out a wide smile. "Autonomy is a key part of human psychological needs."

"You're in control and yet you're willfully choosing to refuse in participating in any aspect of your treatment… utterly insubordinate." Gloria rambles on with an irksome voice.

"I wouldn't use that word." Root knows this will rile the blonde. "In order for me to be insubordinate, I need to be subordinate to you, and guess what? I'm not. In the words of that small book, a doctor or a nurse are not in command of a patient. You lot are only to provide care… care, which I am rightfully refusing because I don't need it."

"Without participating, you won't make any progress towards discharge or earn any privileges." Gloria argues.

"Perhaps not privileges…" Root turns back to her work. "… but discharging? That's the courts to decide and no judge will keep a sane person in here against their will, unless they're corrupt. All I have to do is to conduct myself like a rational person that I am, wait out a month of intense boredom and I'm out."

"How would you like to wear a patient gown instead of your own clothes?" Gloria passive-aggressively says.

Root lets out a chortle without even looking up. "More reason to not leave my room."

"Line of sight, hallway, gown." Gloria spits out each word.

"Unnecessary, embarrassing, cruel." Root replies dryly. "See? I can list stuff too, and I can write grievances to management, which is well within my rights as per the handbook. There's no therapeutic benefit in taking away my clothes, Gloria. I'm not self-harming or have an eating disorder. That will only serve as punitive humiliation, which is not allowed."

Root isn't looking, but she bet there's Gloria's face looks like she's just sucked on lemon. "Line of sight, hallway, no coffee."

"Now that's just cruel and unusual punishment." Root says jokingly before continuing with a more serious tone. "Have you not asked yourself why you're so invested in this whole petty affair?"

Root takes another fresh piece of paper. "I get it, if I was wandering the hallways, shouting at people and overall, just being a nuisance." Root turns back to Gloria, who looks like pissed off. "But seeing that I'm completely asymptomatic of anything, per your description… exactly what behavior is it you're expecting to get rid of?"

"For now?" Gloria puts on a blank face. "Social withdrawal and isolation."

"Right…" Root lets out a tired sigh. She really doesn't want to continue in putting up with this conversation after the night/morning she just had. "… I'm not avoiding people, I'm refusing treatment that I'm not consenting. Towards the end of proving to you that fact, from here on out, I'll eat all my meals in the dining hall for the whole hour. No more loading up food on paper plates and scurrying back here."

Give and take… they can make her time here a living hell or Root can bend a bit to smoothen the process.

"A step in the right direction." Gloria nods sharply and narrows her lips. "Tonight is movie night… no therapy, no kumbaya or talking feelings, as you put it. Just a normal social event with the rest of your peers. Popcorn and Silver Lining Playbook. We just got it on DVD."

"DVD? Can't afford Blu-Ray?" Root quips which Gloria replies with an unamused stare.

"I kid…" Root rolls her eyes. "… Also that's a strange choice for a mental hospital. What's next? One flew over cuckoo's nest?" She lets out a small chuckle before giving the nurse a contemplative look. "Do you think my cousin will be there?"

Gloria shakes her head. "She said in the past she doesn't watch movies."

Root snorts at that answer. That wasn't wrong, but she'll happily watch one if someone drags her to one and that's normally either her or Pauling's job… guess it's Pauling's job now.

"I haven't seen that picture yet, and I do enjoy popcorn…" hopefully its caramel popcorn. "Might as well, eh? Happy?"

"It's a start… thank you." Gloria replies stiffly. "I'll be seeing you at lunch, then?"

Root rolls her eyes. "You're making your rounds… so see you in fifteen minutes?"

Gloria nods sharply. "Yes, but I'm not going to interrupt your… work. I just need to see that you're still here."

"Much appreciated." Root smiles at the blonde as she left her alone. Turning back to her work for a second before putting down her marker and she looks out of her window onto the rather sad courtyard.

Her thoughts drifts towards the cellphone that's under her mattress that's turned off now in her attempt to save as much battery as possible. Truthfully, she hasn't been getting much work done this morning due to all of the distractions…

There's a strong and incredibly distracting temptation to grab the phone from underneath her mattress just to caress the smooth glass screen and the bumps of the keyboard. But giving into that desire will only increase the odds of her lifeline to God being discovered.

Leaning back onto her seat, she settles for daydreaming about the night prior and the night to come when the machine calls her back again.

…

"Robin?" A disembodied voice echoes in her head.

Who?

"Robin?" The disembodied voice says again, but this time Root feels pressure on her shoulder.

Acting out of pure instinct, her eyes snap open, her feet shot up, and her functioning arm swings towards the direction of the pressure. However, the combination of sleepiness and medication cause her to miss and lose balance by tripping on the leg of her chair.

One moment she's trying to defend herself, then the next she's ass first on the ground and hitting her head on the edge of her mattress, which doesn't help with her disorientation.

With a clearer eye, she sees a dirty blonde woman in a nurse's uniform who's looking down at Root with shock and worry on her face. "Sorry… I didn't mean to scare you."

She looks away from the nurse… Linda, that's her name, as she pushes herself into leaning back onto her mattress, and glares at the mess of paper that's on her desk from the undignified flailing she performed.

Linda comes closer to Root and crouches to her eye level. "Hey, Robin?" Linda's voice is as gentle as possible. "You're safe here, okay? This is a safe space."

How the hell did she interpret the look of disappointment for fear?

"I wasn't scared, and you startled me." Root replies condescendingly as she picks herself up and takes a seat on her bed. "Did I get you?"

"You completely missed." Linda replies with a wide smile as she stands up from her crouching position.

"Next time, please don't touch me when I'm asleep." Root informs dully. "I won't take responsibly for any injury that might occur."

"Duly noted." Linda smiles at Root and gives her a look. "You know, you and your cousin have the same response when someone disturbs your sleep."

"I can imagine…" Root remembers all the times she had to jump out of the way from being stabbed or punched in the face. "… did she hurt someone?"

Linda nods. "Yeah, a few… the latest is one of the techs found her passed out in one of the unused room and he got a bloody nose for his troubles."

"Was she punished?" Root inquires.

Linda thought about it for a second before answering. "Well… the tech was surprisingly even keel about the whole affair and your cousin's doc ruled it as an accident."

"You really need to watch out next time." Root says lightly. "Having worked in this place for how long now and you haven't learned not to startle people when they're sleeping happily?"

"You didn't. It looked like you were having a nightmare." Linda crosses her arms and leans on the wall opposite Root.

Was she? She can't remember what she dreamed of.

"I usually don't…" Root replies dully and keeping a straight face. "… but I have one recurring dream for a few years about having way too many hamsters and not having enough cages. The deal with hamsters is that they're incredibly territorial and solitary. As the dream goes on, the number of hamster increases and when I inevitably unable to keep separating them, the loose ones starts tearing to each other. Not like the usual hamster fights where it's puncture wounds, but tearing one another's bellies open like a body horror film from the 70s and 80s, with teeny tiny blood spraying everywhere and their guts spilling out. The dream isn't scary enough to count as a nightmare, but it's unsettling in a surreal kind of way… Have you ever seen the guts of a hamster sprawling out of their hairy tummies?"

Linda's only response is just blinking and staring at Root with a look that says she isn't sure what to do with the knowledge dump she was given. The nurse's stunned silence was pretty funny to Root. She can't have made up a better story if she tried too… sometimes reality is stranger than fiction.

"Did you need something?" Root finally says something after Linda just kept quiet for a few seconds. "Was there a reason to wake me up?"

Linda blinks a few times before replying. "Lunch… you're running late, and Gloria said to remind you of a deal?"

Root lets out a sigh of annoyance… time to actually fulfill her side of promise… and some part of her kinda regrets, but she knows if she backs out of this now, they'll make this a symptom. Hell, they can make anything into a symptom if they tried hard enough, and screw with her path out of here.

"Let me just freshen up a bit." Root smiles at the woman and goes to her bathroom. She honestly does need to wash away all the crust of drool on her cheek, the grime on her eyes, and she hasn't made up her hair, but she's also stalling. After a few days here, she finds that the dining hall is the single most annoying place in this unit, and she's not looking forward to this.

With everything done, and making sure she takes her time, she exits the bathroom.

"Seriously?" Root sees Linda standing by the doorway. "Do you have so little trust in me?"

Linda smiles. "Doesn't hurt to be sure."

Root shakes her head and walks out of the room with Linda clearly in tow behind her. The nurse splits away from Root as she passes the nurses' station.

By the time she reaches the dining hall, the food line is basically empty, and thankfully, the controlled meal table is having one of their quieter days. The server looks a bit surprise when Root passes through the line with a tray and ceramic plate rather than her usual paper plate, but doesn't comment about it.

This, however, doesn't solve the problem with dining halls, which is the classic cafeteria conundrum. Where to find a seat?

Root comes to a halt at the end of the line as she stares in the room, trying to find a place to eat… easiest would be to seat with Su but that woman isn't in here right now and who the fuck knows when she's gonna come.

This is high school all over again.

Most of the time, 'Sam Groves' ate her lunch alone at the courtyard or when it's raining, in the cafeteria, and Root doesn't do cafeterias, preferring to eat alone in a restaurant or room service. A number of her cover identities worked in corporate offices with canteens, but there's still the option of eating at her desk or with her target.

This is just simply a social situation she finds herself without a frame of reference for, and that's rare.

"Robin?" Gloria's voice startles Root out of her stupor. "Is something wrong?"

"No." Root responds automatically. "No…" She repeats, but this time realizing that she's less sure of herself.

"I just… don't… know where to sit." Slowly and reluctantly, she admits, with a smile on her face, but her voice broken betrays her façade.

"Come." Root feels a gentle hand on her shoulder. Then Gloria guides her over to the second table from the door and she didn't put an ounce of resistance. "Hey Roger, Tina, Lauren. Would it be okay if Robin sits with you?"

Her eyes are wide with disbelief and her gaze is off far, far away, with her smile long gone from her face. While she recognizes intellectually, Gloria's assistance as a necessity at the moment and probably with no malice from the nurse, in easing the imagined social withdrawal… but this feels so fucking humiliating.

"Yeah, sure, we got space." Roger replies. "Pull up a chair."

Gloria removes her hand from Root's shoulder, and she walks towards the table. She doesn't even look at the man's face as she passes him by, but she recognizes the rainbow bracelet on his arm.

Root takes a seat down at the far end of the table, and her eyes are fixed on her tray when Roger says. "Seen you around. You've been eating in your room, right?"

"Uhuh…" Root nods lifelessly, without looking up as she pushes her broccoli around her plate while trying her hardest to put back her shattered mask in place.

"Nice of you to join us." The man sounds sincere.

"Yeah… but Gloria wouldn't stop hounding me about it." Root pieces back her masks, she finally looks up and smirks at the man. "She thinks I'm a socially withdrawn, anxious, shy or whatever she can think up… hence that awkward introduction."

God… she sounds like Su.

"It's okay to be shy." The woman that's closer to Root says, and her hands are trembling slightly. She isn't sure if it's Tina or Lauren.

"That's fine and all…" Root replies as she stabs the broccoli. "But it's inaccurate."

"So, you haven't just been huddled in your room this entire time?" Roger chips in.

"I have, but that's not the point." Root waves her broccoli-laden fork. "I don't plan on being here long or planning to see anyone here ever again. So why waste the time to establish social ties?"

"Non-compliant." The other woman comments with a mouth full of macaroni.

"Yeah, I'm surprise they haven't kicked you out yet." Roger nods in agreement. "That's pretty hardcore non-compliant behavior and normally that's a one ticket out of here for that. No point of being here if you're not going to accept help."

"I wish it's as simple as that." Root replies and pushes her macaroni with the broccoli. "I'm involuntary."

"That explains why you're in this unit." Roger says nonchalantly. "You just seem… boring for this unit."

That's the second person to say that… "I'm going to take that as a compliment."

"It's neutral." Roger replies with a smile. "Why don't you slide over here. It's awkward talking like this."

She scrutinizes the man further, and he seems sincere enough, but the other two women are still unknowns. She sighs as she repositions, but instead of sliding down the table on her side, she goes around and sits beside Roger.

"I'm guessing you're Roger." Root tilts her head at the man before her gaze moves to the two women opposite of her. "But you two… which is which?"

"Lauren." The woman with the trembling hands replies with a small wave.

"Tina." The other answers with her mouth full again.

"If you're involuntary, then they can keep you here for two months or longer." Roger gives her a gentle smile. "May as well make a few friends or it's going to be a long ass two months."

"One month, since I spent two and a half weeks as a vegetable down in E-unit." Root corrects the man. "And I've spent time in jail longer and didn't need to make friends either."

"Jail?" Tina nearly chokes on her macaroni as she coughs.

Shit… she shouldn't have let that slipped, that isn't part of her cover. Ah fuck it, if the doc asks her about it, she'll say that the crime was expunged from the record.

"Breath Tina." Lauren says worryingly as she pats the other woman's back.

"If she's coughing she's not choking, but keep patting her like that, then she might." Root comments as she takes a bite of her broccoli. "And for future reference, if they're not coughing, patting isn't going to cut it. You'll need to smack till it leaves a mark."

"Seriously?" Roger gives her an incredulous look, even as Lauren stops the patting.

"Or learn Heimlich." Root shrugs as she tastes a fork full of macaroni… and it's not awful. Very artificial and honestly… it reminds her of some off-brand boxed macaroni she used to make as a child.

"There's some back-and-forth debate on the pros and cons of back blows." Root continues. "But just do whichever is the easiest for you."

"She's suffering even if she's not choking." Roger points at Tina with a worried look on him. "And it's kinda your fault, but you're not being sympathetic at all."

"It's hard to see how I'm at fault." Root gives him the side eye. "I'm just making sure she doesn't actually choke."

"Because that was a poor joke and shock comedy isn't appropriate to tell at the dinner table." Roger explains and gives her an odd look.

Isn't appropriate? The hell does he even mean? Where else is there to discuss such things? Plus, she wasn't even making a joke. Root gives the man a look to put him back in his place.

Roger shrinks away from Root and asks. "That wasn't a joke, was it? You've actually been to jail?"

"Not that you can find in any records." Root replies with a smile, and that's the truth. 'Root' has never been to any jail before, but a number of her other identities have, and most of the time, it's for a job. "Although I imagine there's more freedom there than here. I get to go to bed and get up when I want, read what I want and the food is better… well, some of them were…"

Early on in her career, she's spent some time in a small town jail for a 'misdemeanor' and the food there was considerably better than larger jails.

"For example… what even is this?" She cautiously pokes the desert with her fork. "Any of you know?"

"Peach cobbler." Tina answers, having stopped coughing for a while now.

"Yeah." Lauren nods at Root. "Doesn't look like one, but it does taste like one."

She can't say that she's a good cook, but how the hell does a peach cobbler look like… whatever this is? Like where's the peaches?

Root gives them a blank look and says. "Huh."

"So… what are you in for?" Lauren tentatively asks. "How did you get yourself petitioned?"

"Isn't that a loaded question for someone you've just met?" Root replies with an unamused look. "Why don't you guys share first? Why are you in M?"

"It's better for me." Lauren replies without skipping a beat. "More regulated… I need regulation and structure. I do good up here, but I just mess up when I go back to the anxiety unit. OCPD… and I'm working on it, but right now… it's better to be up here. Structure."

"I'm just plain self-destructive." Roger pitches despite not being included in the question. "I don't want to die… but sometimes I can't stop from hurting myself and I scare the crap out of myself… so I checked myself back here again. Straight to M, because I was afraid that I'd killed myself and it's been two months since."

"Trauma…" Tina mutters. "Sorry, but I can't talk about it."

"That's fine, Tina." Roger assures the woman before turning to Root. "Okay Robin, fair's fair."

"Assault and kidnapping my uncle." Root says nonchalantly as she takes a drink. "And I wasn't even conscious when I got put in here."

The three of their eyes were wide as saucer plates at what Root said. Roger's the first one to snap back by asking. "How… are you not in jail?"

"Have a Jewish lawyer on retainer?" Root jokes lightly as she takes another forkful of the most processed macaroni in existence.

"Really?" Roger doesn't look convinced in the slightest.

"Nah, my uncle didn't want to press charges, and I was catatonic at the time after getting shot by the police." Root clarifies and shifts her bandaged up shoulder.

"Whoa…" Lauran blinks while Tina still looks shocked. "Isn't that a felony?"

She still had no clue how Harold explained that shit when he was admitting her here… so she'll have to make shit up.

"Apparently, having a small psychotic episode before getting shot and turning into a walking vegetable was punishment enough for the state." Root pulls something out from her ass and makes light of it. "Funnily enough, the last time I got shot, I didn't become catatonic."

Whatever she was feeling just before getting shot was the reason for her catatonia, and that's the most convenient diagnosis. A one-off problem that explains everything, and the only problem is to convince Carmichael about that tale.

"Wow." Tina finally breaking out of her shock and says with a mouthful of macaroni.

If Su was right here, then she'll probably have gone ballistic at this poor woman.

Root takes another bite of the macaroni. "But if you know anything about an acute psychotic episode, you know that it goes away in a month or so and doesn't come back. It's almost been three weeks since and I haven't had another episode, meaning I don't need to do this therapy bullshit."

"You're being very nonchalant about committing a felony and… getting shot." Roger says in disbelief. "You're not trying to be a badass or something?"

If only he knew just what she's done in her life.

"Not trying to." Root takes a spoon and digs into the 'desert'. "Shit happens and I don't let it get to me… My god, this does taste like peach cobbler."

"So, this whole shtick of being non-compliant is just to be a contrarian?" Roger inquires with a gentle curiosity. "You don't agree with the reason they put you here and you're rebelling."

"Not really." Root shrugs. "I'm still planning ongoing visiting the shrink… but I'm giving the others a hard pass. However, Gloria wanted me to socialize and so here I am. I get up when they tell me to, I go to bed at lights out, I stay out of the kitchen, I don't watch the TV when we're not allowed to. This place has got rules and I'm following them. I'm just avoiding unnecessary treatment for issues I don't have."

"Right, because you're totally normal." Lauren rolls her eyes.

Unphased by that dismissal, Root takes another bite of the peach cobbler. "Normal? No. Funny farm crazy? Also no. If this place works for you, power to you. But for me? This place is a cage, a rather boring cage."

Add to the fact that Su's here as well… that just makes the time here more… complicated.

"You should join in some of the stuff we do on the weekend." Roger comments with a kind smile. "I guess some of it is 'therapy bullshit', but there's yoga and cooking class this Saturday and other fun stuff to pass the time. It'll be less boring than being cooped up in your room all weekend."

"I'm already planned on coming to movie night." Root shrugs as she takes another bite of her cobbler that's surprisingly tasty, despite how… different it looks.

"Cool." Tina mumbles with her mouth full.

"You're weird… but kinda funny, type of weird." Lauren comments as she looks on at Root. "Too bad you're not coming to groups; it'll be livelier with you there."

"Transparent." Root gives her a suspicious look. "But I won't be deceived by your blatant attempt. Did Gloria put you up to this? Trying to get me to go to activities."

"Nah…" Roger dismiss Root's valid claim. "But there's a reason why she put you here at our table."

"Why? Because you guys are a bunch of goodie two shoes?" Root muses.

"Level 5." Lauren beams with pride.

"Ditto." Tina mumbles as she continues to eat her food.

"Level 3, but I was level 5 till I messed up last week and went back to 1." He shrugs as his rubes rainbow bracelet covered arm and from the slight gaps between bracelets, Root spots some fairly fresh scars. "They let me skip level 2 a few days ago, so I'll be back to 5 soon."

Root gives him a skeptical look, to which he quickly responds. "It wasn't a punishment… they just wanted to keep a closer watch on me when I'm having a bad time."

"She probably hopes that we will rub off on you." Lauren concludes.

"Doubt it." Root makes a face and her eyes unintentionally wander the dining room in search of something. "But it explains why this is barrable for me. I figure that the only people in a place like this that has their head straight are folks who's complying with treatment and folks who aren't. Anything in the middle and you got some kind of struggle going on and I don't have patience for that."

"You're half right." Roger snorts. "But outright refusing treatment isn't a sign of stability. You might be bucking that trend, but not everyone does."

"With a sample size of one, I'm confident enough to say that you're wrong." Root replies without looking back at Roger as her eyes still wanders the dining room.

She can't see it, but she knows Roger is shaking his head when Lauren speaks up. "What'cha looking for? You've been looking for something a few times now."

A few times? She didn't even notice that…

Root shakes her head. "It's nothing… just… looking for my cousin."

"You got a cousin…" Tina asks with her mouth full and in astonishment. "… in here too?"

"Yeah, we got in here at the same time." Root replies mindlessly.

"Whoa, relatives in the same unit? That's a new one for me." Roger pauses for a second before asking. "Who's your cousin? Maybe one of us spot her earlier, before you came in."

"Doubt that you saw her earlier…" she pauses for a second to debate whether to tell them, but the cat is going to come out of the bag anyway. "…her name is Anna."

That seems to shut everyone up and they all are just starting back at her with wide eyes, like a troupe of monkeys looking at a snake.

"Lemme guess…" Root rolls her eyes. "You guys hate her guts too?"

That manages to snap everyone out of their stupor, and Lauren is the first to speak up. "No, but most of the girls in nutrition hate her guts for some reason."

She raises a brow at that answer. "You're not in any groups with her?"

"Me and Tina in trauma with her and I'm in anger management with her." Lauren nudges towards Tina, who finally puts down her fork. "But I can't say much since she never talks and just creepily stares off into the distance."

"She's dissociating while in groups?" Why the fuck would she still be going there if it does that to her?

"I guess?" Lauren answers. "We're not sure. Whenever the group lead calls out to her, she would respond, but when he asks if she's listening, she just shrugs. Been going on for weeks now."

"Creepy." Tina pipes in. "I sometime pass by her when she's taking her walks, and she never seemed to be fully there."

"Yeah, I see her walking around like a zombie a few times." Lauren nods her head. "Pretty sure everyone here has passed by her at least once during her… walks."

"Not surprising. This place isn't that big." Root mutters in contemplation. She really didn't try to blend in here at all.

"Why do you ask if we hate her?" Roger finally speaks up.

Root shrugs and pokes her food. "Guess she has the tendency of rubbing people in the wrong way."

Tina nods and adds. "Oh, yeah. Everyone heard what happened on the first day."

Roger rolls his eyes. "Everyone has two different versions of what happened, and every version gets more absurd as it goes on."

Root just snorts in response. This sounded like what happened in middle school, but at that time Su was the one that ran the rumor mill. "I bet so."

"You're not curious as to what happened?" Roger asks with curiosity in his eyes.

"Not really." She is, but she would rather hear it from the primary source rather than someone else… or if The Machine tells her.

"Still, it's odd that relatives were put in the same place." Roger gives her a contemplative look. "Was she involved with the whole kidnapping things?"

"A bit." Root answers instantly. "She didn't kidnap our uncle, but she did take shots at the cops."

Tina's eyes were so wide that it might pop out any second and Roger… "What the fuck?"

"That explains the limping and the busted arm." Lauren replies with slight shock before turning to her companion. "Tina? You alright?"

"How the hell is she not in prison?" Roger replies before turning to Tina. "You're not joking, right?"

"No." This time she can't stop rolling her eyes. "And I guess she had the best Jewish lawyer money can buy, plus she didn't actually hurt the cops."

Well, that's what she's suspecting. Pretty sure Shaw would have killed Su if she got shot. She seems like the type.

"Seriously?"

"I walked past her a few days ago." Tina replies with a whisper as her entire body shakes. "We were a few feet apart…"

"It's alright Tina, nothing going to happen." Lauren rubs Tina's back in an attempt to calm her friend down before turning to look at Root and nudges towards Tina.

Root shakes her head and waves a dismissive hand. "Don't worry about her. She isn't going to hurt you."

"How would you know that? She shot at a cop." Roger rebuts her. "And the shit they say went down a few weeks ago doesn't paint her in a good light."

"She has no reason to?" Well, she can't say that for certain. That woman has always been callous when it comes to human lives. "She probably doesn't remember you anyway… unless you did something to annoy her."

"That's comforting." Lauren deadpans as she continues to calm Tina down, who looks like she's pulling it together.

"Yup…" Root replies callously. "The only person I've heard her complaining about is her psych, and she hasn't done anything." Yet.

"Who's the doctor?" Roger inquires with a raised brow.

Huh… now she thinks about it… Root shrugs. "Dunno. She never mentioned who and just calls her the hag."

"The hag?" Lauren speaks up as she turns her attention to Root and away from her now calm friend. "We only got two female docs here and both are good."

"Honestly, I thought someone here would know better than me." Root replies. "All the doctor's offices are in populated areas."

"Doesn't mean we pay attention, and I can't say for everyone, but most of us try not to pry if they don't want to share." Roger replies. "And your cousin doesn't look the type to talk."

"She's a chatterbox when she feels like it." Root replies, thinking back to how that woman would always go on unprompted monologues in the past.

"Anna isn't going to hurt anyone?" Tina finally speaks up again with a shaking voice.

Root lets out a sigh of annoyance. "Look, from what you all have said and my conversations with her, I doubt she even recognizes anyone here… Just be polite with mind your manners when you're around her and you got nothing to worry about."

"What?" Roger has a look of confusion on him.

How the hell is she supposed to explain this, ah… "She's a really devout southern Texan Christian woman."

Su's going to hate Root for this, but honestly there's no better abridged explanation for her contradictory mind.

"Huh… wouldn't figure that." Roger nods before raising a brow at her. "You don't have an accent though."

"Lost it years ago." Root replies and turns her attention somewhere else.

Lauren has been squinting her eyes at Root for a while now, as if she's trying to look for something and Root asks. "What?"

"Other than your hair, you don't look like your cousin." Lauren answers.

Root deadpans at the other woman. "Have you seen the state that she's in? I don't look like I can be blown away by the gust of the wind."

"But still…" Lauren shakes her head. "Maybe I'm just used to cousins looking similar. Mine all look the same."

She stops herself from rolling her eyes… knew it was a bad choice of Harold's part to make them cousins. "We looked more alike when we were kids… people often mistake us for sisters."

"Still…" Lauren shakes her head. "I guess you guys just grew up differently."

Ain't that the truth…

Gotta move the conversation away from how they look like. "You mentioned this unit has 4 doctors?"

"Yeah." Roger nods. "Williams takes some patients, but he mainly does admin stuff. Then there's McIntyre, Carmichael and Lawson. Which one did you get?"

"Carmichael." Root replies as she finishes her main course.

"Oof." Lauren mutters. "He was assigned to me for like two months, but he was way, way too creepy, and now I got Lawson."

"Yeah." Tina agrees timidly.

A creep?

Roger shrugs and shakes his head. "I don't know guys… he seems fine with me."

"That's because you're a guy, duh." Lauren deadpans at her friend.

"Only reason some girls are still with him because they couldn't change docs." Tina adds.

"Uhuh." Lauren nods. "I lucked out and Williams let me change cause Ginny got discharged."

"He was condescending and thinks he's the smartest." Root comments. "But I guess… the way he looked was a bit creepy."

She didn't pick it up instantly back then, but now with these two commenting about it, it nudged something in her memory into place.

"However, I'll hold judgment until I get more info on the man." Root continues. "What's more important to me is that he's completely incapable of his job. Keeps on giving me leading question and chasing phantoms where there's none."

"Is it?" Roger gives her a look. "Or those ghosts are real, and you just don't want to believe it."

Root levels the man with an unimpressed look. "Didn't know you're a doctor too."

"Am not… just." Roger looks uncomfortable. "You never know, anything's possible."

"And I can also move through walls." Root deadpans. "We're just a mass of atoms, and on a quantum level, that's a possibility. Just because something is possible doesn't mean it's probable."

"On a quantum level?" Lauren gives her a blank look. "Did the discovery channel manifest itself into reality?"

"That channel mainly regurgitate pop science." Root replies with a playful smile. "Never anything interesting on there."

Roger shakes his head and gives her a smirk. "Either way, looks like you're not as boring as I thought."

"Again, I'm going to take that as a compliment." Root takes a sip of the highly artificial mango juice.

"I've never seen your cousin come for movie nights, so you should sit with us. We'll save you a spot." Roger smiles as he stands up from the table with his empty tray. "Don't bail on us or we'll look like assholes for holding a prime location seat."

"Yeah…" Tina mutters and gives Root a wavering smile as she gets up as well. "The popcorn here is delicious. They use real butter and not whatever crap theaters use."

Lauren smiles and nods in agreement, following the other two to return her tray, leaving Root alone. She lets out an aspirated sigh. Having a normal conversation with somebody other than Pauling or Su is more difficult than she thought.

Taking a stab at the last of the broccoli and steal a glance at the clock in the middle of the dining room, she wonders if she needs to stay here till the end of lunch or if she has already fulfill her promise by being 'social'.

Letting out another sigh. She might as well stay here till lunch ends since she did promise to stay for the full hour.

---

She's fuming as she trudges back into her room after what she expected to be a rather simple and calm movie night turned into an exercise of her patience that went on for far too long.

How dare that motherfucker did what he did and get away with it? And the other people there as well… fuck them all.

Root comes to a standstill at her doorway when she spots a familiar figure sitting on her bed and staring off at the distance.

Just when things couldn't get anymore better.

Root takes in a breath and speaks up. "You weren't at lunch."

Maybe if she's calm about it, she can get Su out of her room faster.

Her words seem to bring the brunette back to reality as she blinks a few times and turns to Root.

"I was busy looking at the mouse." Su replies. "Anyway, toss me that book I'm reading."

A feeling of annoyance surges through her body at those words and her heart beats faster and faster.

A mouse? And Su's been in here for god knows how long and she can't be fucked to grab it herself? She doesn't have time to deal with her dissociating ass after what happened earlier; she needs to talk to The Machine.

"No, please leave." Root says coldly. "Get the book from the library or have your AI ship it to you."

Su looks to be taken aback by that and takes a few seconds before she replies childishly. "But I don't remember where I bookmarked it."

God, she's like a child sometimes.

"I need some time alone." Root snarls at the woman before taking in a breath. "Please… I didn't have a good day today and I need time alone. So, come back another day."

Su blinks a few times, as if she can't believe what Root just said before getting up from the bed.

"Yeah… sure." Su mutters quietly as she slowly walks out of the room with a glazed over eyes.

Root shakes her head. That isn't her problem, and she closes the door before getting into her bed to wait out the few excruciating minutes before the lights go out and she can finally let it all out.

The moment the lights go out, her hand shoots deep into the back of her bed to retrieve her precious connection to God and the moment the phone turns on, she receives the call.

"BEEP. CALM. DOWN."

"I know you said that I need to stop killing people, but can we make this one exception? Just this one time." Root practically begs. They didn't even start this with their usual opening conversation.

"BEEP. EVERY. LIFE. MATTERS."

"He's doesn't, he's just bad code." Root mutters lowly so the techs don't come here after her earlier outburst. "There's absolutely no benefit to his continual existence. I would give the world just to put a bullet in his guts and watch him bleed out. And yeah, I know using a gun in here is dumb, but I just want to do it… maybe a knife would work better."

"BEEP. RESIST. VIOLENT. URGES."

"I've been very restraint in my actions, thank you." Root growls before taking a deep breath to calm herself down. "I could have easily broken his wrist if I wanted to, but I didn't."

Movie night was fucked the moment she decided to not sit with the compliance brigade and chose her own seat in the front row. Little did she know it's the favorite seat of the hallway bully she observed a few days prior.

Had he straight up confronted her for the seat, there would have been a full fledge fight and she would have easily won, but he chose to take the seat behind her and waited for the lights to go out before starting the worlds pettiest, immature revenge campaign.

First, he pinched her butt, and as annoying as it was, she ignored it. Then he resorted to kindergarten level shit by tugging on a part of her hair, and as much as she liked having it pulled on, she didn't appreciate it being pulled by some disgusting man. And as much as she wanted to throttle the guy, she knows The Machine wouldn't appreciate that, so she continued to ignore the man's provocations.

When his childish attempts didn't work, that man escalated the situation by giving her a wet willy. That finally got the reaction that disgusting man wanted from her and there's no ignoring when it comes to a spit covered pinky in her ear.

She grabbed ahold of the man's wrist and turned it as she gets up from her seat causing the man's arm to twist painfully, but wasn't enough to cause any lasting injuries. However, she did a mistake by getting close to the man to threaten him, and when she lets go of his arm, the man vaulted forward to her seat and takes her then unoccupied seat. Then he had the gall to give her a smug look. She hasn't felt that urge to violently kill someone in quite some time until that moment.

Before she can do anything, people around her started to mutter at her to stop bickering and to stop blocking the screen. Not wanting to cause a ruckus, she swallows her pride and goes to the back of the room where there are free seats. When she's seated, other patients without prompt explained to her how it was her fault for taking that seat in the first place and that just boils her blood.

From that moment, the only thing that's on her mind was ways for her to kill that pest.

The annoying part was that it wasn't even a personal thing. That childish action was par for the course for that fuckwart. He victimized everyone and everyone just gives in because he's in this place for 'homicidal' gestures, which was stabbing his wife multiple times and failing to kill her. If he ever gets out of this place, he'll go straight to court, but apparently he's been deemed too unstable to be tried and been rotting here for a better part of a year.

The world doesn't need more of these motherfuckers.

"BEEP. CONTINUE. RESISTING."

"Clearly I am resisting, seeing as that pest is still alive." Root replies through her gritted teeth. "Accidents can happen here… an unfortunate mix up with his meds. I can easily find what he's taking and make sure he accidentally gets one wrong pill… a tragic event and no one would ever know."

"BEEP. I. WOULD. KNOW. YOU. WOULD. KNOW."

"Can you give me one good reason why this mouth breather should continue on living?" She argues back as her eyes look out at her door in case some busy body tech decides now's a good time for a stroll. "Other than the usual shtick of every life is invaluable, because that's a cop-out. I've killed people for way less than this and you know that. Your info lead to people's death and I killed innocent people just for some useless dollars… but it's nearly impossible not wanting to kill someone who's actually a hazard to others, unless you're completely apathetic."

"BEEP. BY. THAT. LOGIC. YOU. SHOULD. ALSO. DIE."

"Death comes to us all… and it will come to me as well, someday." Root interrupts The Machine.

"BEEP. THAT. MEANS. SU. AS. WELL."

"That doesn't count. She's sick." Root interrupts again with no hesitation or thought.

"BEEP. IT. RENDERS. YOUR. CONLUSIONS. FAULTY."

"Doesn't change anything." Root replies as she leans back into the wall. "Live fast, die young, and leave a pretty corpse. You and I know that I'm on borrowed time anyway."

"BEEP. EXPLAIN."

Root frowns and says. "You're omniscient. There's nothing to explain."

"BEEP. STATEMENT. IS. FACTUALLY. INCORRECT. EXPLAIN. HOW. IT. WAS. ARRIVED. AT."

"By all accounts I have it too… I might not be showing the symptoms now and I'm way past the age when mom first showed signs, but I know it'll come for me sooner or later. The fucked-up thing is that it will only get worse with time and being a late bloomer doesn't stop that… there's nothing anyone can do to help. My dice been rolled the moment I was born… I'm on borrowed time and you're asking me to waste my finite time here." Blurts out the cherry on top of her fucked up life.

"BEEP. ALL. BEINGS. HAVE. FINITE. TIME."

"Well, mine is shorter than most." Root snaps at God. "If I live long enough, I'll just end up like mom… I'll reach a point where I can't hold on to the reins of life and get tossed away. When that happens… it's better to eat a bullet and be done with it."

"BEEP. IMPROBABLE."

That gives her pause… "What do you see?"

"BEEP. MOST. LIKELY. CAUSE. OF. DEATH. EXTERNAL. VIOLENCE. BY. RELEVENT. ASSETS. EXTERNAL. VIOLENCE. BY. IRRELEVENT. ASSETS. AND. JUSTIFIED. DEADLY. FORCE. BY. LAW. ENFORCEMENT. AGENTS."

She blurts out a chortle that quickly escalates into an uncontrollable chuckle, which she quickly tries to lower her volume. After a few moments, she takes a in a deep breath to calm herself and takes a few seconds to compose herself again. God really knows how to lighten her mood.

"So, either ISA catches up to me, Finch's attack dogs, or some dumb cops take me out for being me?" Root smirks. "That's comforting."

"BEEP. ELABORATE."

"I won't be going out like mom… driving myself into a tree to escape the torment of my own brain failing me." Root closes her eyes for a moment. "That means I had agency on how I'll die and what I do before that."

"BEEP. THIS. IS. THE. REASON. WHY. YOU. ARE. DRIVEN. TO. HELP. S.U."

Letting out a sigh as she opens her eyes to stare off into the darkness of her room. "I guess… Yeah…" Root rubs her eyes. "I needed to do something before I lose myself, even if she's a massive cunt." She shakes her head. "This is distracting us from our conversation."

"BEEP. CALCUATIONS. OF. THE. NEXT. TWENTY. YEARS. THE. INDEPENDENT. LIKELIHOOD. OF. SELF. TERMINATION. IS. LESS. THAN. SIX. PERCENT."

"What?" She yelps before quieting down again. "How is it that low?"

"BEEP. NEURO. REGULATORY. DECAY. PROCESSING. DIFFERENTLY. THAN. MATERNAL. SAMPLE. GREATEST. HAZARD. OF. SELF. TERMINATION. IS. POOR. JUDGEMENT. OF. RISK. FACTOR."

She snorts and chuckles at this life-tilting revelation… but it won't change much. "I get to hold on to the reins and do an ill-conceived suicide mission."

"BEEP. WITHOUT. INTERVENTION."

Without God's intervention… but the idea of her going out in a blaze of glory sounds appealing. At least she won't be reduced to a decrepit shell of a human being. "That's great."

"BEEP. SURVIVAL. IS. PREFERABLE."

"We live, and we die, and anything else is just a delusion. So why not have fun before that?" She replies with a smile to which she receives silence, a clear way to tell her that The Machine disapproves of her facetiousness.

Root shakes her head. "I know you would rather want it to happen later than sooner. Then tell me, God, what are my best chances?"

"BEEP. MAXIMUM. POSSIBLE. SURVIVAL. PERIOD. FOR. YOU. IS. ACHIEVED. VIA. EXTENSIVE. TREATMENT. CAREER. CHANGE. MARRIAGE. AND. PROCREATION."

Root snorts. "Now you're just stretching it. We both know that none of that is going to happen, especially that last part."

"BEEP. PROBABILITY. OF. ZERO. POINT. ZERO. FOUR. PERCENT."

She detest kids and she can't even imagine ever settling down. That just doesn't look right to her.

"Yup, that's just about right." Root lets out a soft bark of laughter. "Then what's the most probable chance to increase my odds of survival?"

"BEEP. COOPERATION."

Root tilts her head slightly. "Cooperating with you? But that's what I've been doing."

"BEEP. I. CAN. REMOVE. THREAT. FROM. IRRELEVENT. ASSETS. OTHER. LAW. ENFORCEMENT. AGENTS. AND. POOR. JUDGEMENT."

"And not from your former captors?" Root smiles.

"BEEP. ONLY. MIGATION. OF. THREAT."

"Meaning, I either live by cooperating with your no kill rules or suicide by shady federal government program." Root concludes.

"BEEP. YES."

Root doesn't immediately reply as she sits in contemplation. She doesn't actually enjoy killing people per se… the last time she felt immense joy in a death was Trent Russell. What she finds enjoyable is causing bad codes immense pain. The sounds they make are just… blissful.

"Y'know, I have to ask…" Root speaks up after returning from her thoughts. "Why do you continue on giving the gov relevant numbers when you know what will happen to them? They'll most likely be killed or tortured then killed."

"BEEP. THREAT. OF. MASS. CASSUALTY. EVENT. THE. DEATH. OF. PERPETRATOR. WILL. SAVE. THE. GREATER."

The Machine can't save every human, there's a minimum number of people being threatened before triggering The Machine into action… if it tried to save everyone, then ISA or whatever agency swarmed with numbers.

"Utilitarian…" Root mutters. "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one and that's justification for you to let them die if the number is large enough. And when it's just one person, then it's irrelevant. Harry does keep his dogs on a tight leash, and the big lug does enjoy his kneecapping."

"BEEP. ADMIN. UNDERSTANDS. THE. VALUE. OF. HUMAN. LIVES."

Harold really brainwashed The Machine, early in its life.

"What value?" Root scoffs. "There's no predefined value on a human life… unless you count life insurance, but that's a scam. The value of a human life is only valuable to that human alone because nobody wants to die. That's it."

"BEEP. HUMANS. VALUE. THOSE. TO. WHOM. THEY. ARE. RELATED."

Root tilts her head. "Family? Sure, but that's just purely evolutionary instincts."

"BEEP. RELATEDNESS. IS. NOT. SOLELY. FAMILIAL."

"Oh… right." Root nods and shifts her sitting position slightly. "So you're saying that the problem with killing people that sucks, like mister I stabbed my wife, is the collateral damage in depriving others who are related to their continual existence? Who's to say those people wouldn't be better off with the removal of scum?"

The Machine doesn't reply once again, and that can only mean she has all the pieces of information needed but not the correct conclusion or what The Machine believes to be the correct conclusion. It likes it when Root puts the pieces together, but will give her the cold shoulder if she's wrong. And oh boy does she not like what The Machine is hinting at… she rubs her forehead in frustration.

"I'm a murderer, and Mom wouldn't have been better off without me." Root grumbles as she flops onto her bed with a groan and resists slamming her fist into the wall in frustration. She hates it when The Machine makes sense like this, since it goes against every single instinct… and understanding something completely different from the reality she's feeling is just…

The feeling of pain in her chest from this fucking conversation makes her wanting to hurt someone or break something. And a dark part of her mind wants to break this fucking phone.

Would Pauling be better off without her being in her life?

"BEEP. HIDE. PHONE."

In a flash, she shoves her phone underneath her pillow and gets under the blanket. She closes her eyes just as her door opens and puts on a face of someone that's dead asleep. This must be because she's talking too much… The flashlight annoyingly sweeps through the room and onto her face a few times before the door clicks shut again. She didn't even bother to wait a few cautionary seconds before bringing the phone back into her ear.

"You realize this is complete bullshit, right?" Root hisses into her hand phone. "I just want to kill one guy… Just one. Is that too much of an ask? Just Andrew, one pathetic excuse of a human being. I can make it look totally accidental or even death by misadventure. You know I can do it, I don't even need to get violent, totally hands off approach. I promise."

"BEEP. YOU. MUST. NOT. KILL."

"No way this is happening." Root unconsciously increases her volume with every word and is ever more frantic. "I'm stuck in here with him and I see him every day. It's like putting Bambi in front of a wolf and not expecting guts to fly. This is literally impossible. I can't do this… I just can't."

"BEEP. YOU. CAN."

"I CAN'T!" She can feel her eyes moist with frustration.

"BEEP. YOU. CAN. AND. YOU. MUST."

She feels like bursting any moment.

---

Wednesday passes much faster than yesterday. She spent the entire day in her room and the only time she's out was to fulfill her promise. Previously, she spent the entire day anticipating the night to come, but today she was too angry at The Machine to care if it calls her or not. Its asking her too much and it's not possible or fair.

When the stray thought of talking to The Machine again, she dreaded whatever their conversation was going to devolve into, much like what happened last night or worse… knowing she's going to have to give in and find a way to make this whole ordeal tolerable.

Root rubs her eyes and lets out a yawn as she lays flat on her stomach on her bed. The argument she had last night lasted till three in the morning and only comes to a stop when The Machine tells her to pause and take a nap on the grounds that Root wasn't able to think rationally at that point.

She still finds that point ground for dismissal to be bullshit and a way for running away from their debate… but she wasn't blind to the fact that the tech came on to check on her that night with ever more frequency, so she didn't put much of a protest.

So here she… on her bed with her head prop on her hand as she stare at the dark glass of 'her' phone and as if The Machine heard her internal debate. Her phone starts vibrating and the dark screen lights up… but she doesn't immediately answer it.

She let the call roll twice, before letting out a sigh and puts the phone on her ear.

"You win." Root says in a deflated tone as roll around to lie on her back with that dull pained feeling on her chest. "You win, okay? He's locked up in here and the moment he gets out, he's going to jail. As much as I dislike it… he's not in a position to do anything, except for being a massive prick. So, I won't do it, okay?"

"BEEP. UNACCAPTABLE."

"What?" Root says rather loudly, and a frown mires across her face. "I just said I'll drop it… how is that unacceptable?"

"BEEP. YOU. HAVE. ESCAPED. THE. FEELING. YOU. NEED. TO. ENDURE."

Huh?

"Escaped?" Root's tone goes up a pitch. "What the hell are you talking about? I spent the better part of the day thinking exclusively about this and worked myself into the ground on how to make me feel okay with this. The mental loops I had to go through in making this guy's continual existence bearable were not easy. So, what have I escaped?"

"BEEP. TOLERATING. DISCOMFORT."

"This is ridiculous." Root replies as she grits her teeth. "You sound like Lauren's fucking psychiatrist… all about sitting with the anxiety and shit."

"BEEP. PRECISELY."

Root can't help but scoff at God and reply. "What now? You want me to find a way in me wanting to kill Andrew again, so I can just sit around feeling that unbearableness my entire stay?"

"BEEP. NO. I. WILL. RESPECT. YOUR. EFFORT. AND. PROVIDE. A. DIFFERENT. LIFE. TO. TOLERATE."

"You gotta be kidding me." Root slumps deeper into her rock-hard bed. "That's worse!… Okay, maybe not worse, but it's just as bad." She lets out a sigh. "Can't you just wait till tomorrow to drop that rock onto me? Or start slow? I'm already mentally exhausted from the stress of this first exercise. Maybe I'll feel better after tomorrow's session with the doc and maybe whoever you're gonna name drop would be less awful than Andrew."

"BEEP. RONALD. W. CARMICHAEL."

"God fucking damn it." Root rubs her head in a futile attempt to stop a headache from coming. "You're serious, aren't you? You just couldn't give me one day to not feel like utter crap? And you know I have my session with him tomorrow."

"BEEP. SUBJECT. POSTS. INAPPROPRIATE. FANTASY. MATERIAL. REGARDING. PATIENTS. ON. FORUMS."

"Why am I not surprised by that? Those two were right. He's a pervert. Argh." Root shakes her head and takes a deep breath. "Okay… okay, I think I can tolerate that. He's a creep. I've been around creeps my entire life and Su isn't his patient either… I'll just castrate him after all of this is done. So I can sit on this one for a while."

"BEEP. SUBJECT. WITHDRAWS. THREE. HUNDRED. DOLLARS. IN. ONE. HUNDRED. DOLLAR. BILLS. FROM. ATM. LOCATED. IN. SEVEN. ELEVEN. ON. BIRCH. STREET. DIRECTLY. ACROSS. FROM. LUCKY. PANDA. MASSAGE. PARLOR. EVERY. THREE. WEEKS. THE. MASSAGE. TECHNICIANS. ARE. TRAFFICKED. FROM. CHINA. TO. FULFILL. MALE. DESIRES."

A pang of anger courses through her at what The Machine just told her.

"Well, that's just perfect, ain't it?" Root grumbles. "You just had to throw this over the goal post and make him completely intolerable. A layman can piece two and two together to see that he's spending three hundred bucks on having sex with trafficked girls. That's not even solicitation, that's basically rape. Doesn't matter if he knows or not… Got anything else to spice this up? He kidnaps little girls too… Or he kills puppies in his spare time?"

"BEEP. NO. HOWEVER. SUBJECT. CHEATED. ON. MEDICAL. BOARD."

"Right… obviously, he did that. It explains why he's shit at his job. He doesn't even belong in here, and yet he thinks he's smarter than me. The man does his job entirely based on vibes." Root rolls her eyes. "Out of academic curiosity… how does he stack up in here?"

"BEEP. BASED. ON. AGGREGATED. STANDARDIZED. TEST. SCORES. SUBJECT. IS. THE. FORTY. FOURTH. SMARTEST. PERSON. IN. BUILDING."

"Forty-fourth?" Root lets out a sardonic chuckle. "There's like… 24 MDs in here on an average day, discounting those who are on contract. That means a bunch of nurses and techs are way smarter than him… also a number of patients, too. I know Su and I are definitely on that list." Root shakes her head at a stray thought crossing her mind. "Even if it's a little ignoramus, I bet Shaw would make a better psychologist, and she's a literal sociopath… even if she isn't licensed. That man is a worthless waste of oxygen."

"BEEP. ALL. HUMAN. DESERVES. OXYGEN."

"Now you're just being fucking cheeky, and you know it." Root rolls her eyes.

"BEEP. YOU. MUST. NOT. KILL. HIM."

"Watch me." Root challenges back.

"BEEP. SIT. WITH. THIS. FEELING. OF. AN. UNFULFILLED. URGE."

"Oh, I don't need to sit on this for long. It's only till after breakfast before I get my hand on him." Root smirks at the thought of all the methods she can apply. "The only problem is to make it look like an accident in such a short planning period. Also, where can I get a broom handle to shove it up the rapist's ass? Wait, would he enjoy it? I don't want him to enjoy it."

"BEEP. PLANNING. MURDER. IS. NOT. SITTING. WITH. THE. FEELING. IT. IS. AVOIDING. IT. BY. ANTICIPATING. RELIEF."

Root still has the smirk on her. "Look, I'll be alone with him tomorrow. It's only us and you can easily disable the cameras in the room. It's perfect… the broom handle is a hyperbole, since that'll tip off the cops, it's a murder. I'm sure I can steal some insulin from the depository before lunchtime and make it look natural. The man just had a sudden acute hypoglycemia."

"BEEP. STOP."

"I get that I'm supposed to avoid killing people, but can I get a rain check on the whole not killing for later? Like after I get rid of this creep." Root bargains and lets out a sigh. "He's not locked up in here and he's not going to prison unless someone snitches on him. Plus, he's in a position of power, where it can be easily abused. And after this mess is sorted out, you need to give me someone less… despicable."

"BEEP. THIS. SUBVERTS. MY. INTENT. IN. INFORMING. YOU. OF. HIS. FLAWS."

"You really should have thought it through then." Root replies stiffly.

"BEEP. YOU. WILL. HURT. MANY. OF. HIS. PATIENTS."

"Really? Guilt?" Root sneers. "How do you figure that? He's a fucking pervert. Rumor mill is that every woman he treats wants to change to a different doctor after a few sessions, and only the guys are getting along well with him."

"BEEP. YOU. WILL. HURT. ROGER."

"I only know him for two days." Root snaps back… but she feels slight guilt at harming someone that's been friendly to her. "But sometimes a woman just needs to break a few eggs to make an omelet… Will it lessen the impact for the patients if he gets his ass sent to prison?"

She's not one to snitch seeing that she has always handled it personally, but she'll make an exception for this case, even if it kills her inside.

"BEEP. PROBABLE. BEEP. DEATH. INSIDE. HOSPITAL. IMPACTS. SENSE. OF. SAFETY. FOR. OTHER. PATIENTS."

"Nobody feels safe in here. It's practically a prison." Root rebukes.

"BEEP. LAUREN. AND. SU. FEELS. SAFE. HERE."

Wha… Root drops the phone and grabs the pillow from under her and… "AHH!"

The muffle sounds of screaming continue for a few seconds before letting go of the pillow, leaving her panting for precious oxygen. Taking a few deep breaths before she places back the phone on her ear. "You're only making this more difficult for me to do it… and not helping me not to do it. Collateral damage or not, that man needs to cease living."

"BEEP. THIS. IS. FAULTY. METHODOLOGY."

"Faulty methodology…" Root chortles. "There are different ways to stop people like that? Because the most streamlined and fastest way is death."

"BEEP. YOU. MUST. LEARN. TO. THINK. OF. THEM."

She doesn't immediately respond and clinches her teeth as she tries to figure out an answer that tells the machine how impossible this is for her and her refusal of this directive without offending The Machine to a point where it might abandon her again.

Root closes her eyes. "I told you to let me take a breather for a day or slow me into this… but this is too fast… Carmichael is a fucking creep! I have to do this."

"BEEP. WHY."

"Because he's bad code!" Root whisper screams into the phone before letting out a sigh. "Bad codes need to be removed from the program. If I don't, it'll gnaw at until I go stir crazy. Like it feels like I forgot my keys or leaving my laptop in a café."

"BEEP. IS. SU. BAD. CODE."

"What? No." Root replies instantly, with a frown on her. "That's different. She's a broken code that needs fixing." She waves away that dumb question. "No, what that man is, bad code. It's something I need to do."

"BEEP. IT. DOES. NOT. NEED. TO. BE. DONE."

"Yes, it does!" Root slams her fist into her bed.

"BEEP. IT. DOES. NOT."

"It does."

"BEEP. IT. DOES. NOT."

The machine repeats using the same voice clips as before.

Root lets out a mirthless laugh. "Is this what we've devolved into? Is too and is not?"

"BEEP. IF. IT. DID. NEED. TO. BE. DONE. WHY. BY. YOU."

"Because the world sucks and no one else is going to do it." Root replies, feeling a swell of anger in her chest. "Everyone just sits back and assumes someone else will do it for them, but, news flash, no one ever does, then they will wait for someone else to do it. This is how it's always been, actions needs to be taken and people never do them."

"BEEP. WHAT. ELSE. DO. THEY. NOT. DO."

"Anything… everything!" Root exclaims softly. "Not picking up the litter, breaking up a fight, give money to the needy, take in a stray cat, shovel the sidewalk of the abandoned during winter, flushing the public toilet, taking off the old fliers on any surfaces, picking up dog shit off the grass, cook dinner, do the laundry, pay the rent…"

"BEEP. YOU. HAVE. DIVERGED. FROM. YOUR. ORIGINAL. LIST."

"Right, got off track, please ignore the domestic ones." Root dismisses her own tangent. "In matter of fact, just ignore most of it. The point is that the bystander effect is real, and being real here, humans are useless. This is probably the reason why Ronald managed to worm his way into a job of taking care of so many vulnerable people for God knows how long with his subpar intelligence. Also, just how many of his patients have asked for a different doctor now? Just how has no one taken the initiative to find out why? Cause they won't, and they'll never lift a finger. I can easily report him to management, but I'll have a better chance of a response if I talk to a wall. Could also get his 'massage' parlor raided when he's visiting, resulting in a scandal, but he'll just move to a different state and start over. Just like all of those malpracticing doctors and piece of shit cops. The only way to make this right is to kill him… he needs to die."

"BEEP. YOUR. METHODOLOGY. IS. FLAWED. KILLING. PUTS. NOTHING. RIGHT."

"Methodology?" Root says in a mocking tone. "You tell me not to do it, but then you won't tell me how to put it right. You know, I know, you know how to put all of this right. The world is rudderless and you're God, but… the only thing a mortal like me can do is to kill pest like him, one bug at a time. That's what most of them deserve… we're all bad code of one kind or another. But hey. Maybe that's just my flawed methodology."

"BEEP. CHOOSE. A. NEW. WAY."

"No." Root grits her teeth. "You're the one who wants me to jump through these stupid hoops. So, you tell me how I'm supposed to handle this."

"BEEP. YOU. MUST. MAKE. YOUR. OWN. CHOISES."

This is maddening…

"Oh yeah?" Root hisses at the phone. "Well then, I choose to kill him and if you don't like it, you got till morning to convince me otherwise."

---

A/N: To no one surprise, I didn't manage to write anything during my holiday, not because I didn't have the time, but mainly due to me having to do work when I'm not vacationing. Hopefully the next chapter won't take another month to complete, I really want to go through the hospital arc before the year ends.