SuDo Madhouse

by BigBJ

To others Hanna Frey is what she wants others to see, but Sam is the only one that sees her true side. However, given that Hanna has reincarnated into multiple dimensions and universes, it's no wonder that she might have a few screws loose. Follow the adventures of Hanna and Samantha throughout their life. OC-SI into Hanna Frey, A journey of damnation and maybe redemption.

43. Chapter 43: Groups

ROOT POV

Somehow Wednesday became a bigger challenge to her compared to Tuesday despite Root sticking to her goal of 'Go to Group'. On the bright side of things, if there's any in this rotten place, the vibe with the compliance gang is getting back to normal, and the conversation with Su on telling her to back off went surprisingly well… although, she did strategically avoid telling the shorter woman that she has friends now. Can't give that woman unwanted thoughts.

However, her relationship with Roger got on better, especially after Root watched Roger work things out in Anger Management group. He told her after the group, he'd assumed she came to an understanding of what happened due to them sharing that group, and she told him no, seeing as she's been assigned the group, and she has no clue why.

Trauma Recovery group made her wish she was back in Anger Management or even Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, with Andrew throwing shit and others yapping their sob stories. It felt like she's been inserted into a Lifetime movie of the week, and she couldn't change the channel. The only interesting about the group is Su's reaction to it… to both groups, is how she's seemingly cognisant of the topics in hand and didn't murder or violently hurt anyone who talked about their 'problems' while she barely reveal anything when it was her turn.

Music Therapy was the least offensive thing she went to… and since when the fuck did Su play the piano? She and the whole compliance gang was there, and the format of the day was interpretive dance while Su provided music for the group, which was still hard to wrap her head around… at the very least she got in some good physical activity for the day and no one seems to take it particularly seriously for most of the time except for Su who was completely locked in playing the piano.

And to top out the day, she had Psychodrama… which caused her brain to be malfunctioned for a hot second. If it wasn't for her goal, she would have bailed out of that horror show the second she figured out what it was about. It was so weird, even Su agreed with her seeing how she's completely blanked out throughout the entire time.

By the time she's in bed, she can't possibly imagine having the will to do the whole thing again for weeks on end… but The Machine assured her that it'll get better with time and how important it is to continue on, and besides which she was by her calculations, probably PMSing as well. The Machine mentioned it in a way as if it'll put things into perspective, but it just got her intrigued, as to how she does it seeing as the toilets are by design private spaces, and to which she admits it's only an approximation by a person's shopping habits.

Probably would have been better if she can more accurate though…

"Shit…" Root laying stock still in her bed as she takes in an inventory of sensation, checking the time on her phone. It's 2am, and she has a damp ass.

"Crap." She sits up and pulls away from the blanket. Using the light of her phone, she confirms what she already knows but doesn't want to be true. Blood.

"Fuck…" With a deep sigh, she vaults out of the bed and waddle awkwardly to her bathroom, turning on the lights and pulling off her bottoms. She shoves her clothing into the sink and fills it with water before sitting down on the toilet to take care of the source of her hassles, by occasionally wiping away the blood with dampen thin, cheap toilet paper and feeling disgusted by the whole affair. Once clean, she shuts off the faucet, leaving her PJs in the basin before going back into her room to grab a change of underwear and pants.

With only the toilet lights illuminating her room, Root pulls away her blanket from the bed, tosses her pillow onto her desk, and sets her phone on the desk before pulling the soiled fitted sheets off the mattress.

The only saving grace from this mess is the annoying plastic mattress cover which she's been quietly hating until now… guess it's a valid reason to have one on every mattress here or it'll cost this place a fortune just to change mattresses with every accident.

There's a linen cart at the end of the hall that she can sneak to grab fresh replacements, but first, she needs to figure out how to clean this sheet without her lifelong friend, H2O2. There's only a small ass shower in her toilet, and this thing can't fit in the basin, so there's only one choice.

As she is balling up the sheets to hide it for later, the door creaks open and a beam of light from the hell shines into her room, it only takes a second before the tech notices the bathroom light and Root standing there like a deer in the headlights.

"What's going on here, Robin?" The tech steps in and turns on the light.

His eyes widen at the picture in front of him, where a messy hair, wide eyed Root holding a poor attempt of hiding a blooding sheet.

"Uh…" Is the best thing she can articulate at the moment.

"Robin?" The tech asks measurably as he takes another step into her room. "Where did the blood come from?"

"Ah, it's okay, it's mine." Root quickly, but it might not have been the best wording because…

"Mary! Get Nora!" The man shouts out from the door before lurching towards Root with arms outstretched.

She tries to drop the useless sheets, but in her haste, she tangles herself with the sheet's elastic, and the moment she frees one hand, the tech grabs her right wrist. Instinctively, she tries to pull away while moving backwards. The act of actively trying to avoid getting blood from the sheets onto the man, trying to limit her motions to avoid leakage from her MacGyver ass solution of a pad, and reminding herself to not kill him, takes a considerable effort while grappling.

"What the hell are you trying to do?" Root hisses in an attempt to not escalate this further by waking up the neighbours.

"I need you to stop fighting me." The tech grunts back as he continues to assert his will on her.

"And I need you to stop grabbing me with your meaty hands." Root shoots back, as her tights hits the edge of her desk. She's running out of space to back out.

"I'm not going to hurt you." He replies, but doesn't stop.

"You're going to get blood on both of our clothes." Root tries to reason with the meathead.

"What's going on?" Nora works fast as she finishes her sentence before she reaches to where they're having this stupid tug of war.

"He's gone mad and grabbed me!" Root accuses the man as she once again tries to get remove herself from his grip without hurting him.

"She's bleeding!" The tech says at the same time.

"From where?" Nora pulls out a roll of gauze out of her apron. That's where Root puts two and two together and immediately stops fighting the gorilla… Men. Periods may as well not exist in their brain.

"From my uterus, you shit for brains." Root grits it out between her teeth.

The tech is now free to pull her right arm by the wrist, outstretching it so he can see if there's any injury. "Wait, what?"

From the corner of her eyes, she can see Nora rolling her eyes and Mary giggling at their expense by the doorway.

"It's period blood." Root drawls out the words as if she's talking to an invalid and thrusts the bloody sheet towards him. The tech quickly backs off and almost trips on himself, leaving Root alone to finish balling up the sheet. "Nothing better like a bout of catatonia to screw with your internal clock of when the next train is due at the menstruation station."

"T-that's not what I thought when you first said it was yours." He stemmers in embarrassment.

"Ain't that clear right now?" Root snaps.

"Why did you say it that way?" The tech desperately trying to save face.

"Because I didn't want you to think it's someone else's blood?" She counters. "I don't need you shoving Ativan up my ass when I'm trying to taper off that shit."

"Mary and I can handle it from here, Tom." Nora says as she lets out a soft chuckle. "Give me the sheets, Robin." Who sees no reason to not comply. "Did you change?"

"Yeah." Root mumbles.

"I'm going to need your bottoms as well." Nora continues.

"They're soaking in the sink."

"Then I need you to wring them out, because we need to get this stuff washed with the bio-contaminated linens. We'll put them through the regular wash after, and you'll get it back by Friday."

Root nods and complies by bringing her wet PJ pants and underwear out to the nurse. Nora quickly wraps them in the sheets and leaves as Mary comes in with a roll of paper towel and a disinfectant spray.

Mary gives the items to Root. "For anywhere that got on a hard surface, and the mattress cover."

Root wordlessly nods once more and gets to work as she tries to not dwell on the mess this entire thing has blown into.

"Pads or tampons?" Mary asks. "You don't have any on you, right?"

"Dear old uncle forgot my hygiene stuff when he dumps me in here, and… tampons, please. Any brand is fine." She replies as she wipes down her mattress before pausing and stands up straight with a horrified expression on her.

"What? What's wrong?" Mary asks quickly.

"I just realized that this happened when I was catatonic, too. Someone other than me had to take care of all that." Root physically shudders, trying to dislodge the thought from her mind. "Urgh… I don't know if I can look anyone from E Unit in the eyes again after this. I don't know if it happened in bed… or if I left an ass print on a chair, or what… this is so fucking embarrassing."

"Don't sweat it. Things like that are a commonplace down there." Mary waves off Root's embarrassment. "It could have been worse. You were able to control your bladder, right?"

Root look back and nods. "Yeah, I had that… at least."

Mary smiles. "I'll get your supplies."

00000

"This is never a good sign." Root comments as she walks into the room that usually contains Wellness Group. Right there in the middle stands a whiteboard with 'Men remain here, Woman go to music and movement room' on it.

Root squints her eye at the board. "Is this what I think it's going to be?"

"Again?" Lauren sighs dramatically.

"Again?" Tina asks in confusion.

"Sex Ed…" Roger says dejectedly. "I can't stand sex ed. Wait, I gotta check with Gloria to see where I should go this time. Half the time, these guys get all weird and I need to leave. The other half of the time, I can skip it and go with the girls from the start."

"When he means 'half the guys', that's just Andrew." Lauren informs her.

"No, they are all weird." Roger shakes his head. "It's just that Andrew is belligerent about it, but the others get touchy about the homo in the room when they're talking about their junk."

Root raises her brow… that's new information.

Roger continues. "If you guys don't see me in the art room, that means I'm stuck here, and if you don't see me at lunch, send a search party because Andrew murdered me."

"That idiot wouldn't know a murderer if they stand in front of him." Root rolls her eyes and leaves Roger to the puppies.

"What do you mean again?" Tina asks Lauren as the three of them makes their way to the new place.

Lauren waves her hand. "When you've been here longer like me and Andrew, or if you bounce back in here like Roger, you will realize that they repeat themselves after a while. Mainly because most people here only stay for six months, tops. It's that and they run out of material."

"Wait, seriously?" Tina asks in disbelief.

"Not surprising with how things are." Root turns to Tina. "I'm more surprise that this place still functions."

When they arrive at the room, they find that several girls from Nutrition Group, including Su, who look at the surrounding scene oddly, and all the women from AA & NA Meeting that usually meets up at the same time as Wellness.

"Are we waiting for more people or…" The group leader, a woman Root hasn't seen yet, gestures towards a tech by the door.

"The rest are going to stay in Nutrition." The tech says. "The subject is just too sensitive to them."

"Right then!" The woman claps her hand and smiles at everyone. "If you all settle down. Hello, I've seen a few of you before, but mostly fresh faces. My name is Fiona, and I've been called in to discuss the subject of sex with you today. While I know there's going to be a variety of experience and education on the subject, but the goal here is to ensure when you leave this session, you are ready to make the right choices regarding sex."

That turns the room uncomfortably quiet. Everyone has their own reasons for being silent, but everyone has the looks that screams 'please get on with it already so I can get out of here'. While that's happening, Root steals a glance at Su to see her reaction and she just has a look of disgust on her. Guess something never changes and oddly, it feels nice.

Despite everyone's tepidness on the subject, something on Root's face causes the speaker to direct her full attention at her.

"You." The woman points at her. "What's your name?"

Root blinks and answers. "Robin?"

"What's with the look, Robin?" The woman asks in a way that makes Root want to punch her. "Did you have something to say?"

The fuck is her problem. "Nope."

"You think there's nothing I can teach you that you don't already know?"

"Well, high school had sex ed, so…" Root replies glibly.

"Okay, Robin. Can you give us the abridged version of sex ed? Keep it short and sweet."

"Sex is a beautiful thing between married couples and disgusting for everyone who's not, especially the gays. Homosexuality is an affront to a biblical God, and illegal in the great state of Texas. But remember, you can't have straight sex before marriage either or you'll catch venereal diseases, or even worse, you get pregnant out-of-wedlock, thus becoming damage goods, and wind up rising your baby in a trailer at the outskirts of town, you know like Robin's mom." Root says it all without blinking and stares directly into Fiona's eyes.

Everyone just stares at her in stunned silence… everyone except for Su, who's crackling, which further stuns the women besides her.

"Okay…" Fiona looks slightly cowed… only slightly. The woman clearly didn't expect it.

"Well, Robin, it sounds like you grew in a very religious area." Fiona smiles. "Nonetheless, the situation you're describing is likely something that a few people in this room have encountered, who didn't receive proper sex education in their school. To this day, many people are given propaganda rather than education." Fiona turns to her board on an easel. "And today we're going to try to correct that wrong."

A smirk appears on Root's face as she's about to make a joke about putting a condom on a banana, but the look on Su's face stops her. Why did they put her here in the first place? Do they not know how she abhors this subject? It's not like she'll ever do it.

"Alright, first the basic." Fiona begins. "Everyone's an adult in this room, so I hope you all are that sex is an avenue for reproduction and transmission of venereal diseases and if you don't… well, Robin helpfully said it earlier and now I said it, so now you know. What you may not know is the mechanism by which this can happen. Does anyone want to explain how conception occurs?"

Dear god… is she really need to explain that? Root glances at Su, who is now just has a look of despair on her. Can't she just blank out for this? … Come to think about it, the frequency of seeing her completely blanking out isn't as frequent as when she first noticed it in here.

Letting out a sigh, Root just stares at Fiona, who's animatedly pointing at her board and talking. This continues on for several minutes when Roger turns up into 'class' and takes a seat at the outer side of the circle on the far side of Fiona.

Root gives her new 'friend' a nod, while the keeping an ear to the flow of the lesson. Conception, contraception, STDs and the importance of barrier methods. Root is bored out of her mind while Su looks like she's on a verge of a mental breakdown. However, she can't diss Fiona for the info she's giving out for the others. It's at least useful and accurate, unlike high school… which only goes so far as to put a condom on a banana.

Next comes to the question-and-answer section of this silly class and lordy are some of the questions idiotic. Yes, you can get pregnant on top. No, he can't just drink a lot of mountain dew as contraception. Yes, you can get pregnant during your period. No, you can't get AIDS from holding hands.

At this point, it's physically possible to witness a third of the people having their eyes glazed over with boredom or mortification, the other third is constantly rolling their eyes, and last third are the ones that's keep on asking questions.

"Now, there's several… other things we haven't touched yet, and that's the type of sex that is not penile-vaginal intercourse. Does anyone have any example they want to share?" Fiona cleans the board.

"Blowjob?" One of the patients begin.

"Hand-job!"

Roger melodies out from the back. "Anaaal."

A skinny freckled redhead that Root has seen seating with Su during mealtimes chuckles and elbows the woman beside her. "Isn't that God's loophole, Martha?"

Martha has a look of disgust. "You're sick, you know that, Lilly?"

The chorus continues. "Foot jobs!"

"Titty fuck!" Lilly shouts enthusiastically.

"Uh, letting him cum on your face but making him do the jerking off part?" A woman near Roger says tepidly.

"Anddd I think we've officially run out of idea." Lauren says happily and Fiona looks like she's ready to move on as well.

"You lot forgot one… wait, two." Root says as she eyes the ones who give the examples.

"We did?" Someone from Lilly's side of the circle asks.

"If you had said oral rather than blow jobs, then you would have covered cunnilingus." Root explains. "But you didn't."

"Conna what now?" Another one asks confusingly.

"That's when he eats you out, Shannon." Lauren helpfully explains.

"Oh, really?"

"And frottage." Root adds.

"I… don't know that one." Lauren admits.

Root shrugs. "Naked dry humping."

"You forgot another one." Roger speaks up chidingly. "Intercrural sex."

"Thank you." Root smiles. "I did forget about that one, but if we're counting that, shall we count intergluteal too?"

"Isn't that just butt frottage?" Roger asks with a grin; he too shares her enjoyment in derailing this lesson.

"Intercrural is frottage between thighs." Root corrects him.

"No, no." Roger shakes his head. "It's not rubbing, it's… on the penetrative side, so I think it's separate."

"Oh, sweet Jesus, forgive me." Martha says scandalously as she puts her hand on her chest.

And at the corner of her eye, Root barely catches Su, who's sitting near to Martha, visibly twitching, but she's having too much fun to pay closer attention.

"Think fingering should be on the list, too?" Root muses. "Is it separate from a hand job? Never heard a dude saying he gave a girl a hand job."

"That's a good question." Roger nods as if he's some kind of intellectual. "Is it still penile-vaginal intercourse if you use a strap on? We can't forget about the lesbians…"

"By that notion, would pegging be classified as anal?" Root postulates.

"Is prostate milking its own kind of sex?" Roger asks aloud.

Root grins. "And how would you classify an Eiffel tower?"

"Alright, alright, now the point of all of this." Fiona says loudly to get back control of the group as she stopped writing new things after frottage. "There is a wide range of sexual activities beyond intercourse. Each of them has their own risk… in general, these can be classified into three categories; Oral, Anal and Outercourse."

Having concede the direction of the conversation, Root turns her eyes to a certain pale woman… and her heart skips slightly at the sight. Su, despite all of her bluster, looks like she is on the verge of wanting to eat a bullet… and the only thing that's stopping her is the lack of firearms in her direct vicinity.

Maybe she got too far? Come to think about it, they've never talked about this subject… ever. It's something they've both actively avoided talking about in the past 8 years. This would be the first time she'd spoken about it aloud and in such a crap setting.

"Of these three, outercourse has the lowest probability of both STD and pregnancy, if and only if you keep you the genitals as far apart as possible." Fiona continues. "Frottage… along with the other activities Robin and Roger were discussing, can bring the genitals close enough together that sperm transmission can still happen. Oral has almost no chance for pregnancy, but you can catch STDs, not just by swallowing, but also from any little cuts in your mouth. Anal is the riskiest because excessive force can cause tears, which will open up your bloodstream to a multitude of diseases and fecal matter. Also, the proximity to your genitals does bring with it a risk of pregnancy… unless you're Roger. So, barrier methods are still a good idea, even for hand jobs. He can wear a condom, or you wear a glove."

"You realize that no one alive is going to do that, right?" Lilly blurts out. "And I mean no one. Some people, and I mean a tiny number of people, might do condoms for blowjobs, but I've never in my short life have seen anyone using gloves."

"Or a dental dam." Shannon mutters. "Has anyone ever used those?"

"I've seen them being used a few times." Root answers with a shrug.

"Seen?" Abby asks.

"Moving on! Now that we've covered the mechanics. I want to explore a subject that many of you probably never talked about, and that is the social implications of sex. Good and bad reason to have sex, what is and is not consent, how to make decisions about sex." Fiona rattles off her list as she wipes the board clean. "Let's start with the reason… what are some of the reasons for sex?"

"Having a baby."

"For love."

"Getting or keeping a boyfriend."

"Making up after a fight."

"His birthday gift."

"It's your spousal duty."

"Making sure he doesn't cheat on you."

"For Valentine's Day."

"Because it's your anniversary."

"To make him happy if he's in a bad mood."

"Making sure he loves you back."

"Anna? Robin?" Fiona asks when she sees that only Root and Su didn't share a reason, besides those who Root assumes has taken this lesson before.

Su has a thousand-yard stare as she just looks at Fiona… fuck, this idiot can't read Su's face. She isn't sure if Su's going to jump and kill this woman or… there's literally no other action. Root is about to answer first when…

"Research and exploitation." Su replies with a hollow voice.

Root blinks at the woman dumbly… what the fuck is research and exploitation?

"Right…" Fiona says unsurely before turning to Root. "Robin, any other reasons to add?"

Root takes a second to recompose herself before answering. "Aside from starting a family, none of the reasons written down are actual reasons… they're excuses. Like you've only written down one good reason to have sex up there."

"She's right." Martha joins in. "It's just for procreation, just as God intended."

"That's not what I said." Root grinds her teeth.

"Do you have a better reason to have sex, Robin?" Fiona asks.

Root rolls her eyes. "Because you want to have sex."

"Well… this list is reasons people want to have sex." Fiona explains like she's talking to a child.

"No. I mean sex just for the sake of sex, because it's fun and you like it." Root counters, causing half the room to stare at her… even Su. "What?"

"Dear God!" Martha says louder than she should. "You're a complete whore."

"Martha, we don't use that word here." Fiona chastises the prude. "Robin, have you learned this lesson before from somewhere else?"

"No." Root shakes her head. "Is this some kind of trick question?"

"No… but you jumped ahead." Fiona answers before addressing the group as a whole. "If you're going to make choices about sex, then the first thing you need to do is to identify if you actually want to do it."

Fiona dramatically opens the cap of the red marker and begins crossing out the lists. "You shouldn't have sex because he wants it, or because you think you are need to do it, or as a means of getting or keeping a significant other."

She caps back the red marker when every reason other than love and procreation is crossed out. Which she circles to emphasize the importance of those two reasons. But after a few seconds of staring at the board, she wipes away everything and writes; Love, Procreation, Fun.

Fiona taps the board. "Expressing love, making a baby, and having fun."

"It's wrong to have sex just for fun." Marth protests. "No offense, Robin, but do you want to end up like your mother? You need God."

"I have God." Root holds up her phone. "And she doesn't care who I fuck or why."

Most of the people in the circle laugh at her… but Su just stare at her with an expression Root can't discern. Which causes a knot to form in her stomach.

"I'm going to let that blasphemous talk slide because you're delusional." Martha mutters and looks away.

"Your boyfriend must be a very happy man." Lauren smiles at Root.

Root suppresses her grimace. "Can't say, since I never had one. I'm more of a no names, no commitments type of gal."

For some reason Root can distinctively see Su letting out a sigh of relief at her answer. Huh… what the hell was it about?

"Hold on, Robin, t-that's not responsible." Fiona quickly interjects. "Yes, it's wonderful to have sex for fun, but the more partners you have, the higher your risk get especially if they're strangers, and if you get pregnant…"

"No chance happen because I made very sure it will not happen." Root counters carefully but forcefully.

"You're using protection every single time, right?" Fiona presses.

Root scoffs at the notion and answers. "Every time there's a minute chance of a man's milk coming close to my nether… but it's like Lilly said, no one uses protection for a handy… no one."

"Right well, we're not here to do individual." Fiona straightens her posture. "So, I will not dwell on this. I just want to be clear with the group that total abstinence from sex is a moral judgment, and it's very poor safety judgement to have sex with a bunch of strangers."

"Safety has never been my strong suit." Root grins at the woman and rolls her shoulder. "The bullet wound is sore."

Fiona looks like she doesn't know if Root's joking or not by how she's blinking like an owl.

"She's actually got shot." Lauren clarifies after sensing the confusion from the woman.

"Alright… apart from that, does anyone have questions?" Fiona, not wanting to drag the session, moves on.

"What's the difference between expressing love and doing it because he wants it?" Shannon first to ask.

Fiona answers every person who puts up their hand and when she finally calls on Abby.

"The expression of love thing…" Abby starts tepidly. "You know how when you're hugging and kissing, you feel like you're not close enough to one another."

"You mean you feel horny?" Lilly asks. "Shouldn't that be in the fun category?"

"No, not horny." Abby shakes her head. "Like… it's not a physical need to be closer, but an emotional one, you know. Like you want to just melt into one another?"

A number of people nods their head, and others, Root, and Lilly just shake their head. With Tina and Justine look like they might throw up at any moment… and Su looks like she really wants to die just from imagining such a thing.

"Well, I feel sorry for you if you haven't." Abby shrugs.

With that, Fiona continues on towards the conclusion of the lesson, which is so obvious to Root that she doesn't even know why it needs to be said out loud. By the end, it looks like everyone just wanted the lesson to end so they can go to their next one.

As she leaves the room for her next destination, a tech intercepts her. "Oh, Robin, Dr. Carmichael can't meet with you today, so your session is scheduled tomorrow."

"Ain't I am lucky gal?" Root "Guess I'll just loiter in the dayroom."

The tech waves his hand. "Oh no, Gloria flipped your schedule, so you have art next."

"Again?" Root whines. "I just had it on Monday."

"Hey, you got me and Tina." Roger says nicely.

"That makes it all so much better." Root deadpans.

---

Interestingly, Su didn't come visit her last night, especially after sex-ed. Heck, the woman didn't even so much as look at her the entire day, although, that isn't too surprising since the woman is busy with her own stuff.

Still didn't explain, why didn't she?

After a beat of silence, Root dispels the thought and stops wasting time by entering the room.

"Hello doctor." Root grins at the man as she walks straight to the couch.

"Good morning, Robin." The man replies as slowly gets up from his desk and comes to the couch.

It seems like the man has more sense in him than the last time they met; he changed the furniture arrangement slightly so she wouldn't be between him and the door.

Root leans deeply into the couch with her right arm and her phone in her hand pining every five seconds like clockwork. She didn't even ask The Machine for the higher than usual frequency of pinging, but nonetheless she's quite grateful to know she has her back. The Machine must have simply predicted her need for such reminders, seeing as this will be the first time she's meeting with the man after getting the phone back.

And by the looks of it, the man also doesn't show any signs of hearing the pings. So far, only a handful of people in here can hear the ping at its current pitch, but everyone instantly dismissed it as nothing… well, everyone except for Su, who sometimes gives her a look when she hears it.

"I was so looking forward to our session yesterday, but it was sadly it was canceled." Root pouts at the man. "I hope I didn't cause you too much trauma."

The man stares at her for a second before replying. "As much as I want to say that is so, but no… I had to reschedule yesterday's session because I was busy with admin work the entire day."

"Ooo, someone is in trouble." Root replies playfully, but the man doesn't take the bait further, rather he focuses on his notes.

"I've got your self-assessment here with me and thank you." He begins. "Dr. Leipman reports your taper is going on smoothly and planning to drop the dosage again on Monday… there's a fewer side effect than expected. All of that is a significant mark of your progress and it's good that you're started to take part with your groups since we last saw each other. I've also heard some… interesting comments about your conduct in those groups. However, it's still good that you're going."

"I'm happy you're happy." Instead of being sarcastic, Root opted for a congenial reply.

Carmichael smiles. "So far, you've only missed group twice. Goals group this morning…"

"And breakfast." Root cuts him off. "I was late for the group, but the evidence is in your hands that I got my work done. As for why I was late, it's because I slipped in the shower, and was with Rhetta getting patched up. You know the basics… ice packs, elevation, etcetera. It's going to bruise like hell but I'll be fine."

"I see… I wasn't informed but I'm glad you're fine." The man frowns. "Some things are unavoidable. Moving on, the other group you missed was Mindful Stretching on Tuesday… which, if you need to miss a group, that's probably the right one. You were occupied with Gloria and Danny in resolving an incident, as far as I understand, correct?"

"I guess you can say that Roger had an outburst." Root answers truthfully. "His anger got the better of him and yes, we had to sit out a period in the art room with Gloria and Tom… might as well add Tina and Lauren, too."

Carmichael taps his notes with his pen. "You invest a significant amount of time with those three. Are they your friends?"

"Seems like it." Root smiles at the answer. "Although it came as a surprise to me, as it seems a surprise to you."

The man just hums, seemingly not believing her. "During the event, Danny believes he you were dissociating. Were you experiencing it or were you pretending?"

"God, I wish that was an act." Root replies unhappily, as she drums the couch with her free hand. "I would like to pretend that didn't happen at all… since it hasn't been a problem since I've become R…Robin."

"Became Robin?" He quickly jumps onto that with a squint. "What do you mean by that?"

"I…" Shit… how the fuck did she let that split like some fucking amateur? She can salvage this. Root clutches the phone. "I'm sure your mother never called you Ron when she was changing your diaper. What were you? Ronny? Ron-Ron? Some silly pet name, then at some point in your life you realize it's ridiculous being called by a diminutive and told people to knock that off and to call you Ron like a grown ass person you are."

"So, when you're little, everyone called you…?"

"Robbie." Root answers naturally as she regains her bearings from that slip up and relaxes her posture while concentrating on the pinging. "Yeah, I know it sounds like a boy's name…" Just like Sam, "but, for a time, I had short hair and wore anything we could get our hands on… so I suppose it's fitting. The point is… that freezing up shit was Robbie's problem and not Robin's problem."

Carmichael nods his head as if he's assessing what she's saying and replies. "Well, seems like it's now a Robin problem as well, and from what you told Danny, you're quite familiar with what causes it and how it works. I'd appreciate if you share that with me as well."

"What's the point, if Danny already told you everything?" Root deadpans.

"Because I believe it would be helpful if it comes from you." Carmichael answers. "Aside from your bout of catatonia, it's only symptoms that seem to bother you, and we would make some inroads by tackling something we both agree that needs to stop. Don't you agree?"

"There's nothing to tackle." Root replies snappily. "Because it's a fluke, and it will not happen again."

"You don't know that." The man counters rather childishly.

Root lets out a sigh. "By the off chance that it happens again, then we can discuss it. Happy?"

The man rubs his mouth, and shifts in his seat, seemingly frustrated with her answer.

"You've been going to your groups… but you have not exactly been taking part in them." He moves on. "It's understandable that you're not ready to share during discussions, but Robin, you've been shirking off the written work as well. You have only done three out of the eight worksheets that's been assigned to you in Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy… and this? This art does not express any type of emotions at all."

He lays bare Root's Art Therapy project. A sheet of paper with an intricate series of shrinking triangles. She thought this drawing was good, but apparently, he didn't. "The assignment was for you to draw a goal that seems impossible to achieve, but this contributed nothing to the discussion during art therapy."

Root raises a brow. He really blaming her? "Well… the group lead seems to have neglected to tell me that I was meant to draw something that seems impossible but isn't. So yeah, we didn't talk about how to overcome it because that is mathematically impossible."

The man taps the art sheet. "It's just triangles, Robin."

"It's fractals." Root replies with amusement while feeling the joys of superiority at this man's lack of understanding basic math. "It's an infinite pattern. The only way to express fractals with any form of accuracy is with an equation. Even with every computer processing power on earth, you still won't get a true rendering of that shape. Think about trying to write down the number for infinity by adding more and more nines at the end of the number. By the time the last star in the universe dims away, you would still be writing it because you will never get there."

"So, this is math, then." The man seems to understand what Root is getting at and continues. "Your expression of impossible drives you to draw something that's been proven impossible in academia, instead of something in your own life. You moved away from subjective feelings and started discussing objective facts. We have a word for that Robin, it's called intellectualization. It's a defense mechanism, and there's nothing wrong with it, but you seem to always have it up."

The man takes a moment to just stare at her before continuing. "Which is a problem because it's a potent defense against participating in your treatments. You are present, you appear to be doing work, but then we have a sheet of triangles that does not express any insights into your emotional world. The point of Art Therapy is to express what you can't express in words with art."

"Mayhaps there's nothing to express." Root says dully.

"That's the other possibility." Carmichael nods at her. "But you would have known if that's the case, because you would have been projecting emotions we want to see."

"I'm sincerely hope its levity." Root chuckles. "Or else I'm apparently expressing emotions I don't know about."

"No, I mean things like overt distress from being separated from the voice." Carmichael adds.

"Distress? I wasn't distressed, I just wanted what I wanted." Root waves him off while hiding her true thoughts.

"If that's true, if your apparent distress was an attempt to manipulate us into giving you what you want, then that'll be an indicator of a bigger problem, Robin. It's something we called Antisocial Personal Disorder."

This man seriously thinks she has APD? And he's still a qualified psychologist?

"Any apparent distress you think you've witnessed was an error of your own perception. Projecting distress is like a bright ass billboard that says 'come and take advantage of me', and that shit is never gonna happen anytime soon. As for APD, you're not the first person to make that mistake." Root says patronizingly. "As I've said to Uncle Harold, I wish I was a sociopath because it would have made my life so much easier. Dear uncle made the same mistake too, and he acts like it would have been a bad thing if I was… which was hypocritical of him because of Sameen…"

"Your cousin?" Carmichael interrupts.

"Not my cousin." Root corrects. "But she is an actual card-carrying sociopath, and he likes her just fine."

"What makes you say she's a sociopath?" This man really believes nothing she says.

"Well, someone diagnosed her and it's in her military record." Root deadpans. "Hence, Harold's hypocrisy."

"As I understand it, she's never harmed him, did she?" The man shoots back. "People weight their experience over stuff they've only heard about. Perhaps, had he seen her in deployment, he would be as hesitant towards her as he is by you. You are very unsettling when you want to harm someone, and I think you know sociopaths don't come across as what they are. Quite the opposite actually, they can be very charming if they want to be."

"You don't know Sameen." Root shrugs. "She has no use for the whole charm thing… although he might have the hots for her, and I wouldn't blame him."

The man does a double take before asking. "His own niece?"

"By marriage." Root reminds him. "There's no blood relation with her… and who knows, Harold might be the stereotypical creepy uncle."

"Are you…" Carmichael says cautiously. "Attracted to her?"

"What? Nooo, no, no." Root brings her phone closer to her chest and waves her other hand dismissively.

"Your face says otherwise." He presses on. "It seems like… fantasizing."

Huh… is her emotions so transparent?

"Yes… but not sexual ones. Look, there was this one time where I had her tied to a chair and I threatened to burn her with a flatiron and I mean, it was an inch away from her clavicle." Root's eyes lit up with sadistic glee at the memory as she demonstrate it with her phone. "Her reaction was so unexpectedly anticipatory."

Carmichael's face looks like it's been carved out of rock from her story. "Should I even ask why you did that?"

"Tried to get information from her." Root tells him anyway. "It was part of the whole searching for the voice adventure and unfortunately, we were interrupted because I so wanted to see what would happen if I burned her. Don't you find it intriguing to hurt someone who enjoys it and doesn't care or fear? Usually, it's either hurting someone who is not into it or holding back with people who like it but don't want any lasting marks. I'm sure it'll leave a permanent scar on her. Hell, I still have a small scar from a small oil burn from a decade ago."

"You told me personally that you don't like hurting people and you only do it when necessary." The man taps his notes. "However, the way you're describing, it sounds like you enjoy it."

"I said I don't enjoy killing people." Root clarifies. "But hurting them? I do enjoy it. Got no gripes about it… although, I can't really say if it's better when they like it or it's better when it's a serious injury. What I can say is that both are better than either one alone."

Carmichael takes stock of what she said before replying. "I hope you recognize how that's very wrong?"

"Well… if the ends justifies the means… but the subject was unwilling. I guess it'll be questionable." Root admits. "However, I could stay here for a decade and still not see the problem with consensual pain play."

"This sadistic streak… is this the reason why you enjoy scaring people?" The man asks as he jots down in his notebook and checks his notes. "You put that on your automatic thoughts' worksheet. Is that what you were doing with the pen?"

"Nope, that's more in the region of 'Now I'm responsible for every bad thing they do from here on out'." Root answers dourly and brings the phone closer to herself. "Because I can easily see you finally acting one of your disgusting fantasies in the future and with a patient, that's too weak to fight back."

The man looks uncomfortable, but her words didn't deter him. "How are you coping with it right now?"

"Challenging." Root sways her head to her side. "Especially now that you brought it up, and I was doing so well at distracting myself from the subject."

"Uh, right." The man goes through his materials. "I see you did Facts and Opinion; we're going to discuss a few of your answers… and ABC for Voices, but you refused to do Reality vs Expectations exercise…"

"Have you ever read that thing?" Root cuts him off. "It's about how to lower your expectations of life, Lower! Why would any sane person lower their life expectations? To be frank, most people don't have high expectations… they settle, and I don't settle."

The man doesn't argue back and continues. "Mood monitoring?"

"Not really your business, is it?" Root throws back.

"Thought Challenging?"

"That's basically self-brainwashing. Why yes, let's list things I know and how to convince myself it isn't true. What on earth is that?"

"Suicide safety plan?"

"Unneeded, since I'm not suicidal."

The man quickly flicks through his notes. "At intake, you admitted having those thoughts in the past, and not just in childhood, but in your early 20s as well."

"That's Robbie's problem." Root waves him off. "Left that shit in Freer and in the past, so there's no point in dredging it up."

"Right…" The man really needs a better poker face. "And the hierarchy of feared situations?"

"No point seeing, as I'm not afraid of anything." Root replies glibly.

"Fiona came by to see me yesterday." Carmichael says suddenly.

"Really now? We had so much fun yesterday." Root grins as she assumes it's about the ruckus she and Roger caused.

"That's not what I was going to talk about." Carmichael takes a breath. "She came to see me because she was worried about your risk of contracting STDs or getting pregnant."

"Uhuh?" She's not sure where this is going.

"If you're not afraid of anything, then why didn't you tell her you're gay, Robin?" He gives her an even look. "It's 2013."

Root stares at the man for a moment, her eyes wide and her jaw slightly agape, while her arms retract inwards towards her body as she grips the phone tighter with both hands. It's not unexpected of him to broach the topic of her being in the closet at some point during their sessions, but this is so sudden she felt like a softball hitting her face from out of left field. Her brain can't plan by how much that question tilted her stance, and she can't quickly form a smart-ass retort.

Also, did this motherfucker just said insert current year?

"I can see the wheels turning in there, Robin, but I can't hear words coming out." The man prods her. "Stop planning how to deflect this and just tell me what you're thinking."

"Currently thinking that's an inappropriate question to ask." Root grits out.

"I'm not asking you to reveal everything about your sex life. I just want why you're hiding, Robin." The man scoots closer to her. "You managed to go through a group solely dedicated to discussing sex without letting it slip… that must have been a lot of effort. So, why?"

Root glares at the man. "And why did you hide your trips to the massage parlor from your wif…"

"Robin." He cuts her off harshly. "Answer the question."

She's about to retort back at him, but her phone vibrates in her hand. "Fine… fine… I'm not afraid about, but I suppose the word to describe it would be… anxious. Yeah, anxious about people finding it out… look, I'm not going to write that down in a worksheet or something because I'm not okay with people knowing about it. That's just idiotic."

"You see…" Root lets out a sigh, as she's not quite sure how to put it. "I'm sure from your point of view, a white upper-class man from New York, where it's all rainbows and pride parades now." Root gives the man a piercing gaze. "That's only a reality in big cities in the northeast, or out on the west coast, because in people's living room in small towns and middle America, nothing changed. I can't say for certain how it is right now, but back in the 90s, when I was in high school. Do you know what they taught in sex ed? Homosexuality is not an accepted lifestyle and is a criminal offense. Which is still true to this day in the great state of Texas in the year of our lord 2013. So please don't preach to me what year it is now, as if it'll make any difference."

The man just sits there contemplating her answer before tentatively asks. "Does your cousin know of this?"

That question hits her right in the gut as she grits out. "No."

The man continues this line of inquiry. "Why's that? She's the only family you have left. I'm sure she'll understand…"

"Have you met her?" She cuts him off. "She hates the subject of sex as much as she hates people, and she sure as hell ain't going to be warm on the subject."

"How would you know that if…"

"She's the most atheist, bible thumping Christian you will ever meet." Root snaps at him. "That sentence doesn't make a single lick of sense, but she does what she wants and that is who she is, and she will never change."

"I'm sensing there's something else in there." The man prods.

This is fucking annoying.

"You know, keeping my sexuality in the closet is better for me since it won't undercut some of my best pay negotiation tactics." Root goes back to the topic at hand, to the man's chagrin.

To emphasize her point, she brings down her phone to her waist that's obscuring her chest, bares her neck with a toss of her hair, crosses her legs and bates her eyelashes. Sure, she doesn't look the best right now and her dowdy attire doesn't help, but this man pays for sex, for Christ's sake.

"Is… that why you use drugs when you seek out sex?" The man clears his throat. "As a way to get past the fact that you're compelled to do something you consider unacceptable?"

Root can't help but snort. The man is trying to dig at a weak spot that doesn't exist from assumptions of the bathhouse story and prurient pornography.

"It's not unacceptable for me, Ron." Root patronizingly says. "We've established that I don't operate on the morality of others. What I do is a shit ton of criminal offenses, and I'll admit, there's a small, microscopic part of me that feels anxious should people find out about my crimes."

"Such as?" The man didn't even hesitate to ask.

"Do you honestly expect me to trust you with that?" Root rhetorically asks. "I know doctor-patient confidentiality doesn't extend to criminal activities. I am planning to walk out of here and not walk straight to a jail cell."

"That's… understandable." Carmichael lets out a breath. "Why the drugs then?"

"Purely recreational, as I've told Gloria during my intake." Root smile coyly as her mind drifts to the fun memories. "The stories about having sex in ecstasy are legit. It's just a matter of getting the most bang out of my… bang." Root wiggles her eyebrow at her great pun. "Honestly, you should try it at home, could bring a little excitement back to your dull marriage and maybe you won't need to cheat on her anymore."

"You… you think you're in the position of giving me relationship advice?" Carmichael raises his brows.

Root smothers a laugh and replies. "Looks like you need it."

"Have you ever had a relationship, Robin?" He fires back. "Would you ever want to?"

"Why bother with hypotheticals?" Root counters.

"It's my job, so indulge me."

Root readjusts her position and caresses the phone. "Had things been different, if I was a sedentary person and lived in New York or California, or a similar state. Then I'm not sure… maybe I would like to have a relationship, or maybe I wouldn't. That U-Haul joke ain't hyperbole. Look… it's not that I don't want someone, it's just that… I can't imagine it. When a person has been alone for so long… things just… are."

"How do you feel about that?"

"Not exactly the best of feelings, knowing that you'll never have a real relationship." Root smiles wistfully. "But I can admit it's not a big deal, and it's not great either."

"When you were a child, your mother wasn't a great role model for relationships, right?" He probes. "You never knew your own father or had a stepfather, or any other consistent man in the house."

"Well… I had Brian, S-Anna's father, but he has his own faults and didn't live with me." Root tells him. "Although, it's a good thing mum didn't bring her dates home, considering the statistic of child abuse and unrelated males living in the same house."

"Anna's father?" He raises a brow. "Are your close with your aunt and uncle?"

"Brian's always been nice to me… same goes with Ruth, but they changed after Anna went missing." Root answers somberly as she remembers the first years after Hanna.

"Did they give you support when your mother had her fits?" He asks curiously.

Root the man dead in the eye. "I rather not talk about them yet."

Carmichael nods and asks. "Do you believe also believe it's a good thing you never met your father?"

"I lived in a small town of three thousand people, and ain't that hard to bump into potential candidates. There's always gossip about this guy or another, but four different paternity tests and none of them positive. And you know the weirdest thing is? It's their wives that insisted on the tests." Root lets out a chuckle at the memory of when she found out about it.

She did her own investigation a long, long time ago and has her suspicion, but… she didn't have the strength or will to pursue the truth, even if she wanted it.

"Must have been hard to live with the constant wondering, or knowing everyone else was wondering as well." The man says in a sympathetic tone. "The societal shame must have burdened you with something you couldn't control."

"I guess… it's an easy way to get tough skin." Root mutters as she shakes her head. "It hurt at the time… but that's a Robbie's problem."

"You mentioned that several times in this session." Carmichael points at her with his pen. "The whole you're not going to talk about it because it's Robbie's problem."

"It's handy." Root shrugs. "I'm glad I found that way of expressing it."

"Robbie's problems are still your problems, Robin." He gives her a hard stare.

"No, they're not~." Root replies jokingly, not taking this seriously.

"Is it your belief that Robbie and Robin are fundamentally different individuals?"

Without a doubt, Root answers. "Completely different."

"In what kind of way?"

"Well… Robbie." She turns her gaze out to the window. "Robbie was boring, pathetic, worthless, weak, useless, sad, weak-willed pacificist, coward, insecure, scum that's perpetually ashamed, inadequate and after… Anna's gone… passively suicidal."

Without a single shred of judgement, he asks. "And Robin?"

"Exciting, capable, happy." Root smiles as she turns back to look directly into the man's eyes. "Indifferent, strong, fearless, shameless, unrepentant, unafraid, confident, ineffable… and apparently slightly homicidal."

Well, that's a complete lie, but there's no reason to tell this man the bodies she's buried, lest she doesn't want to leave this place.

On the other hand, she isn't the one with the highest count for buried bodies in this building.

"That's something we can work with." The man writes down in his notebook. "However, you are aware on a fundamental level that Robbie and Robin are the same person, right?"

"I'm far from Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, if that's what you're wondering." Root snorts. "I simply evolved to be someone better, although I still had to play the role of Robbie early on and worse around certain people… now I don't have to anymore. Which is a relief, because playing that role required some difficult mental gymnastics."

"You didn't describe being Robbie in the term of roles, Robin." The man taps his notes. "You describe it as a feeling. So why would the role of Robbie look like? Because clearly, you've been demonstrating Robin quite well."

Root pauses to think for a moment as she slowly twirls the phone in her hand while looking at the CCTV in the corner of the room.

"Pearl Prynne." Root finally answers after a minute of silence. "Smart, peculiar, poor, resilient, responsible, caring. Not really a kid and more like a little adult, but still dependent. Quiet, small, inoffensive, dowdy. After Anna… Sullen, skittish, snippy, but never defiant. Robbie knew her place and certain things were futile."

"And in many ways rather unlike Robin, who's sitting here right now." He tips his head at her.

"In all the ways… except, of course, for smarts." Root smiles as light comes back into her eyes. "I'm still hella smart."

The man has a contemplative look on him. "So, the different feelings… Robbie's feelings, sad, angry, ashamed, etcetera. Are these feelings the result of the mental gymnastics to cage yourself back into that image or is it an intrinsic part of the person that is Robbie?"

"Intrinsic." Root replies instantly. "If you want, I can put on those emotions right now, and I wouldn't feel any different, which is why this is not worth discussing. The only way for me to even come close to those problems is for us to hop on a plane and fly all the way back to Texas. I stay out of Freer; I stay away from all that shit and problem solved."

"So, you quite literally ran away from all your problems." He summarizes.

"Yeah, I suppose I did." Root admits with a mirthful smile. "People always say you can't do that, but I guess I did, and I never really thought of it that way, because for me it's more of a personal renaissance with a single kryptonite-like weakness."

"Which is?"

"Freer." Root replies. "We just talked about it, didn't we?"

And admittedly, a strong second place weakness of hers would be Su.

The man looks down at his note for a minute before asking. "How do you feel about doing some hypnotic regression?"

"Excuse me?" Root deadpans. What the fuck?

"Well, if we can't address these problems without going back to Freer, then perhaps hypnosis can help you slip back into that mindset so we can work on healing Robbie's problems that might be underpinning Robin's problems as well." The man quickly explains.

"Or maybe we can focus on the present." Root replies sourly. "The only problem I see right now is my whole homicidal ideation thing I'm trying to curb, since she hates it and maybe work on the whole stun first asks questions later stuff. That's it… there's nothing else needing fixing."

"By your own admission, those homicidal thoughts and urges stems from a twisted sort of vigilantism, Robin." He shoots back. "You feel compelled to kill people you think might rape someone and hurt or kill children. It started with your cousin Anna when she was kidnapped and… was hurt before disappearing from your life. Now you're trying to stop it from happening to others, and that's Robin's problem, and it all started back then."

A tense silence engulfs the room after the man finishes his tirade and Root just stares while gripping her phone until her knuckles turn white.

"I think this session needs to end." Root replies with a cold calm malice at the man's assumptions. "Now."

"There's still twenty minutes… left… Robin…" His words slow down and come to a full stop as she stands up from her seat, staring down at him. The worm looks like he's going to have a heart attack.

"I'm leaving. If you try to come between me and that door. Whatever happens next will be entirely on you." Root spits out before stalking out of the room and leaving behind a mortified man.

What a presumptuous fuckhead. What does he know what she has to overcome? Nothing.

With The Machine in hand, Root is better now more than ever, more so than the pathetic person she locked in that house back in Bishop.

---

Root's walking down a fairly busy hallway, busy because it's the weekend. The entire day is basically free time, unless someone signed up for weekend classes, like fitness, and she's more than happy to not sign up for anything.

After breakfast, she opted to go back to her room rather than staying with the compliance gang so she could continue reading her new books, but after an hour or two, her mind couldn't stop wandering away from the pages.

So here she is, walking towards the dayroom.

… And by chance, she spots Su walking in her direction.

Well, it isn't a surprise, considering her only hobby in this place is seemingly walking around in circles.

Wait a second, that's…

"You got a phone." Root says as they intersect each other's paths and come to a stop. "They finally letting you keep it?"

"Hmm?" Su blinks at Root as if she just finally notices the taller brunette. "No."

"No?" She squints at Su's hand, which is clearly holding a phone and typing into it as if she isn't holding a contraband. An iPhone, to be exact. Which is odd, seeing she never seems to care about that brand or company, nor has she ever owned one of their products.

"Yeah, no." Su stares at Root as if she's dumb. "The hag isn't budging on this request because in her view, us expressing Folie à Deux is way too overboard for her or her co-workers."

"Shared psychosis?" Root deadpans. "That's… honestly not a far leap for them to think, seeing they believe I'm delusional, but it's still stupid as hell."

"Cheh, tell me about it." Su leans into the wall. "I bet that's just an excuse to not officially give me the phone, seeing they don't want others to follow in our example."

Root raises a brow, don't think so… "So, who's phone is that?"

Su squints at Root as if she missed heard her. "Mine?"

"Yeah, it is yours." Root deadpans and holds up her phone. "This is mine too, but it was Carmichael's before me grabbing it."

"Who's that?" Su asks cluelessly.

Root's about to snap at her but stops herself. "Doesn't matter. What matters is whose phone did you borrow… unless… you smuggled it in?"

Su's only reply is a shit-eating grin.

"Aren't you cheating by using Sue?" Root snorts.

"Ain't cheating." Su doesn't elaborate further.

"And when they catch you with it?" Root pushes further.

"Oh, don't worry about such a silly thing." Su waves her hand. "What these vultures don't want you to know you can just get phones. I've got a like a hundred phones scattered around the unit and if they take this, I'll just get another one."

Root just stares at the shorter woman for a moment to see if… "You're serious, aren't you?"

"Why would I joke about this?" Su shakes her head before shining a smirk at Root. "How many confiscations before they go crazy?"

Root rubs her chin. "Hmm… I give it 20 before they snap."

"20?" Su sounded shocked. "You are way too optimistic, and I give it 10 before they cave."

"You want to bet on that?" Root challenges.

Su recoils. "Betting is a sin."

Root blinks at her as her brain instantly recalls an argument she had with mom. "No, it isn't. The bible never said anything about gambling, but it warns against the love of money and tells us to avoid get rich quick schemes."

The shorter woman just stares back at her, speechless for a few seconds, before recomposing herself. "Well, gambling focuses on the love of money, and it tempts people with the promise of quick riches."

Root rolls her eyes. "I don't get why suddenly it's a sin for you. We've both bet against each other countless times in the past and ever since we were kids. So why the sudden reluctance? Scared of losing?"

"Am not." Su snaps back with an offended tone before waving the phone at her. "Apparently, my 'lack of morality' or whatever she constitutes as morality is detrimental to our future working relationship. So, she suggests that I actually read the bible since I in her words 'following the bible without following it' or whatever the heck that means."

Root takes a second to process everything that's just been said before blurting out. "The Machine told you to read the bible?"

Why the bible specifically? The Machine's morality should be enough of a guiding force rather than some book written 2 millennia ago with all the baggage of an iron age society.

"Yeah, new revised standard version, to be exact." Su replies nonchalantly and, as usual, seemingly ignorant of Root's internal turmoil.

"No, I mean why the bible?" Root shakes her head. "Not to disrespect The Machine's commandments, but as much as you pretend to be, you're not a Christian and neither is The Machine."

The Machine is God, for God's sakes.

Su just shrugs and rolls her eyes. "I spent an entire day arguing with her about that, but she was insistent and get this. She wants me to finish reading it cover to cover and write a report about it as if I'm a child going to school."

Root blinks at her. "She wants you to criticize it?"

"Who knows?" Su flips the phone in her hand. "She playing hard to get about it, and we'll continue from there after I'm done with the bible."

Root can't help but say. "That's… odd."

But who is she to doubt The Machine's plans? She must have everything laid out to fix Su.

"It's boring since I already know some of the things in it, but reading and writing down my thoughts help passes the time." Despite the sound of reluctance in her voice, Su looks upbeat.

"How's that even possible?" Root squints her eye. "Even if you've been passively absorbing knowledge of that book, you wouldn't know it without reading it."

"I saw some of it." Su answers in a matter-of-fact way.

Root rubs her eyes, and mutter. "That makes little sense."

Su tilts her head at her. "What about you? Where are you going? It's the weekend. There's no reason to walk these halls."

"I could say the same for you." Root counters and not wanting to reveal her 'friendship' with the compliance gang. Although she is actively hiding it either, seeing she basically spends most of her free and group time with them or one of them.

"Had an argument with The Machine about her twisted values and got frustrated, so I'm walking off that frustration." Su quickly answers. "Now you."

Twisted values? Coming from that mouth?

Root lets out a breath. "Got bored reading in my room, so I'm going to the dayroom to see what's on."

Su tilts her head slightly. "Unless some human changes the channel, it's mostly just SpongeBob reruns."

"Good thing I have barely watched a full episode." Root smiles. "I guess… see you later and have fun with the phones."

"Oh, okay, yeah… see you later too." Su looks like she didn't expect to end that conversation right then and there, but didn't protest.

Root walks away from the shorter woman, feeling slightly better despite her latent reservations about repairing whatever the fuck they had.

She enters the dayroom and comes to a full stop at the sight before her.

"What's with the smiling and the staring?" Tina asks as she lifts her head off Lauren's shoulder while the other woman is on Roger's shoulder as he leans on the arm of the couch and all of that makes a little chain of leanings.

"Sorry." Root says as she makes her way closer to them and leans into the nearby wall. "It's… cute, the whole leaning on each other. Looks cozy."

"You don't need our permission to come over and join us, you know?" Lauren says with a pleasant smile. "Aren't we friends?"

At that moment, she remembers the countless hours she spent with Ha… Su back when they were young, just being comfortable with each other's presence and generally being blissfully ignorant. Now… they're whatever the fuck it is right now.

"Thanks… but I don't do the hugging, cuddly thing." Root says with an emotion she couldn't suppress as she makes her way to the nearby table and busies herself with the coloring markers on the table.

"Or we can join you." Roger says after a moment or two, with a nudge to the others, they get off the couch and take the free seat around the table. By the time they were all seated, Root finds the color she was looking for and started coloring. "Are we really okay?"

"Have I done something to make you doubt it?" She looked at him with a perplexed expression.

"Not exactly?" Roger shrugs. "Just the vibes you're giving and you're a bit distant… well, more than usual."

"Just because I didn't want to cuddle?" Root replies quickly. "I've never been good or into that kind of touching."

"You've never done it with your cousin?" Lauren asks.

"We…" Root grits her teeth before relaxing her jaw. "When were kids, I guess… but now… we're different people and we have boundaries." Root looks at Lauren. "Like how we are allowed to have boundaries."

"I know you said things are complicated with cousin, but should know if you want to talk about it, everyone here is more than happy to listen." Roger says kindly and makes a welcoming sign with his hands.

Root's cheeks twitch slightly before replying. "Boundaries, Roger… but I'll take it into consideration."

"Also, this isn't about boundaries… it's just… ever since Tuesday, you've been kind of… less talky and other things. I guess it's weird from your position, but it's kind of worrying us that you're not being as… creepy as before." Roger rubs his hands while Tina and Lauren nod in agreement.

"Yeah, that's weird." Root deadpans. "How is less creepy a problem?"

"Because you are creepy…" Roger begins.

And Root interrupts him. "Thank you."

"So, if you're not being creepy, it means you're putting up walls and stuff." Roger continues and ignores her budding in. "Which makes me think we're not actually okay after Tuesday."

Root can't help but chuckle at their naiveness. They're just reading into things the oddest way possible. Then again, these are the people who liked Root without much effort.

"Didn't cross your minds that maybe I'm trying to be nicer because we are 'friends' now?" Root gives them a look.

"Yea, but… it doesn't come off as nice. More like…" Roger scratches his head. "I don't know. Just not Robin-like."

Not like robin?

"What are you smoking and where can I get it?" Root deadpans and scoffs. "Coming off not Robin-like? Come on, this is very Robin."

"Huh?" The three of them look stumped.

"Look, the whole being openly creepy thing is more atypical than hiding it. You think I constantly walk around out there being like 'Hi, there, I want to buy a box of fifty Winchester 9mm Luger 115 grain FMJ ammo'." Root imitates the imaginary scenario of her walking into a gun store in full 'I want to kill' mode.

As if they're coordinating, the three of them blink at the same time before Roger says. "That's oddly specific."

"It's a gun I was experimenting with before this, and she's very touchy about her ammo. Feed her anything other than that specific ammo and you'll get failure to eject, which means I need to get a stick to shove it out before I can reload it. Mind you, I've never had that problem since I followed the manufacturer's instructions, unlike some people. Also, it kicks like a mule. Honestly, it was a shit pistol that can't do its job properly and anyone would be better off with SIG P290, but that dang pistol is so dang cute even if it's a safety hazard. That's the real charm of the Double Tap." Maybe she should have taken up Su's offer to 'fix' the pistol when she offered it last year, and maybe it could have been a serviceable pistol.

"Now that's Robin." Lauren points at her and smile.

"Has anyone told you guys are weird?" Root snorts and looks back at her little project.

"Not really." Lauren replies. "It's just that the only thing that interests or excites you is… violence, but it's important that friends be real with one another. The better we know each other, the better we can support each other. You need to share."

Root looks up at her with a skeptical look. "And it's abnormal to you for someone to not spill their entire being onto people they've just known for around two weeks?"

"Stuff moves faster while we're in here, with all the group and other…" Tina says with uncertainty clouding her voice.

Ridiculous, she's never shared anything personal with Pauling, whom she's known for almost a decade now and sure as hell, she barely shared anything with Su.

"Yeah, and I didn't share in group either." Root puts it nicely.

"I noticed." Roger replies. "But that's how we get to know each other… tell one another what's on our minds, what's going on, when we're doing things that bothersome to another."

"Like when Tina's meal tray isn't parallel to the edge of the table." Lauren gives an example with a kind smile on her. "You and Roger are always good about that, so I don't even need to tell you. Your phone too, whenever you put on the table, it's always parallel to the tray, or your paper, or to the edge of the table."

Root gives a halfhearted shrug. "I like things to be orderly."

"I can tell you guys when things are bumpy, and I want to hurt myself." Roger adds. "Then everyone gets careful with me around sharp objects, and having an eye out for me in case I'm hiding what I'm doing, so they don't need to call a nurse for me."

"That defeats the purpose of hiding it if you tell others to look out for it. You're essentially self-sabotaging." Root points out.

"No." The man shakes his head. "I'm sabotaging my illness and that's the point, because I know the consequences. I know how it works, and I know that right now I can't fight it alone. That's why I'm here, so if my illness gets the upper hand on me, then someone can call a nurse and help me stop. I have friends here who can tell me to take a breath when I get too angry." He smiles at Lauren. "And have my back around, Andrew. Also, to remind me I'm not the shitshow I often think of myself."

Root can't help but scoff. "You're not a shit show."

That title belongs to a certain thin, pale woman.

"Yeah, like that." Roger nods enthusiastically.

"I wasn't… never mind."

"I know." Roger grins at her. "I was being a smartass, but the point is we can only support each other when we share with one another."

"I can manage without any support." Root replies dismissively.

"Just because you don't need it doesn't mean it's not nice to have." Roger counters. "Makes it easier for yourself and lightens your load a bit?"

"I wouldn't even know you can try to do that, so just let it be." Root gives the three a strained smile. "Just enjoy a low-maintenance friend around, with no expectations, no needs, no hassle and just there."

"I'm not sure if you get how being friends actually works." Tina remarks.

"It has been some time since I had one." A 'normal' friendship, at least.

"How did you get through two decades without making friends?" Lauren asks.

Root shrugs. "The same way how I lasted the first six years, I'm a loner."

"Oh, come on now, everyone had friends in kindergarten." Tina says skeptically. "It's practically a mandatory that they invite all the girls and all the boys to their birthday parties or other activities."

"Okay, this is me sharing." Root puts down her marker to give them her full attention. "Apparently, a lot of adults feel it's more polite to not invite the dirt-poor kid, so their parent didn't have to scrounge up whatever meager money they have to buy an obligatory gift, at least, that's what they tell themselves. But I'm sure it's just because they don't want Beth Farrow's kid around theirs."

"Hold on, why?" Roger asks.

"I grew up in Texas and in a small town called Freer. It's not micro small but small enough that everyone practically knows everyone and gossip spreads faster than light." Root explains.

They all seem to put two and two together from her 'outburst' at sex-ed and now, which causes them to have a downcast look on them.

"That explains why you sometimes use y'all." Lauren speaks up to bring some levity.

"Any better suggestions for the pluralization of you?" Root counters.

"You don't have an accent…" Tina muses.

"I left Texas a dozen years ago and haven't gone back to that town since, but like I said in a small town, everyone knows everyone. Especially the ones that stand out like Beth Farrow, the local crazy lady that you meet at the diner." Root giggles. "Well, one of them at least, but as far as I know, Bertie was just a childless spinster. Every town has its own crazy cat lady, but they usually stay quietly in their house and never been forcibly escorted out of the local store by police because of a disagreement over the price of milk."

Even if she never told Su about this personally, but there's no way in hell Su didn't know about everything that happened with mom and she never mentioned anything about in their time in Bishop. Although, she has a number of distinct and clear memories of Su wordlessly getting closer to Sam when she was down, as if it's her attempt at comforting Sam.

Root cast that mental image away as Roger says with sympathies dripping through his voice. "Oh, shit."

"You inherited it, huh?" Lauren summarized.

"Yeah, some kids know they're going to grow up and need glasses, or get diabetes, and some kids knows they're going to grow up and go crazy. But comparatively I'm doing much better than mom at my age." Root picks up the marker to continue her distraction. "By my age, mom was way more… ill. Which is kinda funny in a certain view because between the two of us, I'm the one that ended up in a place like this."

Roger gives her a reassured look. "Maybe when you get out of here, you can get her some help, too?"

"A bit late for that Roger, seeing she's 6 feet under for the past dozen years." Root didn't mean to sound mean, but nonetheless she did.

"Oh, sorry."

"Don't be." Root replies. "I'm fine and way over it."

"Was it…" Roger tiptoes around the subject. "I mean, did she…"

"Likely, but it was never proven." Root cuts him off. "It's really hard to prove suicide when a known unstable person wraps their car around a tree. So, officially it's an auto accident."

"I'm so sorr…" Lauren quickly adds but…

"What did I say about pity?" Root interrupts her with a hiss.

"Sorry, I mean sorry about the sorry… I mean…" Lauren stumbles at her words.

"I get it." Root stops her before she goes into a recursive loop.

"Even so, the people you care about are gone." Roger observes. "That sucks."

"Two data point doesn't make a pattern, and both are ancient history." Root waves her hand and grabs an orange marker from the middle of the table.

"It can still make a person kind of morbid." Lauren adds.

"That boat sail a long time ago." Root smirks.

"How do you have all that… ideation before twelve years ago and never acted on it?" Tina asks.

Root takes her time to come up with an excuse without 'scaring' them, since she can't just say 'Yeah, I've acted on it plenty of times'. Better to disabuse them of the notion she's a hair's breadth away from murdering someone.

"The feeling comes and goes." Root says slowly. "The wanting to kill someone. What's the term they are always using in groups? Trigger? Well, my trigger is people like Andrew or Carmichael. It's more of a compulsion… look don't get the idea that I enjoy that desire, but the feeling hurts me if I don't act on it."

"I know that feeling." Lauren nods.

Guess…. People with OCPD can understand that urge.

Roger repeats the words she wrote down in the cognitive-behavioral therapy worksheet and she nods in reply.

"You know it's a good thing you never give into your desires. It'll probably be hard to live with yourself if you actually did it." Roger remarks.

"Uh, no?" Root snorts. "I might not enjoy killing people; however, I do like hurting people, and have never felt bad about it. So, I doubt actually killing them would make much of a difference… it might bother me a bit, but not as much as it would be for normal people."

"You like hurting people?" Tina squeaks

"I'm sadistic. Most people think 'after today I need a drink' or 'after today I need a long hot bath', but for me 'after today I really need to hurt someone to a point where they whimper and begging to stop'… see this is why sharing is weird." Root puts down her marker in frustration. "Saying these stuffs is probably scaring you and I'm trying really hard to not to."

Hurting others and breaking stuff has been a release valve for her pent-up frustration for so long that she doesn't know how else to cope.

"There's a difference between saying it because we asked and playing it out just to freak people out." Roger explains.

"That's just an excuse to indulge in the other." Root points out.

"A win-win, I guess." Roger smiles and the other two nods in agreement.

"If you say so…" Root lets out a tired sigh. "Is this enough sharing for you?"

"Eh, not really. I mean, history is wonderful." Roger couches his words. "History is significant, but I guess what we're looking for is more… well… more on the way we can help. It's amazing you're willingly stepping up to be our friends, but it's going to be awkward and one-sided if you aren't willing to have friends."

These people make little sense. "If we're friends, don't I have friends?"

"I mean, you need to let us be friends back." Roger explains as if she's slow… well, that's an uncharitable take, but she doesn't care. "It's an unbalanced relationship if you don't share your load with us."

Root rolls her eyes. "I don't need that kind of help or relying on others… it's fundamentally not how I operate. I've never needed anyone… ever."

"What about your cousin?" Roger challenges.

"Except her." Root concedes she needed Hanna and turns back to Roger. "I walked towards a girl who was coding like me and winding up needing her more than I would like to admit."

"Why?" Lauren asks softly. "If you never rely on anyone. Then why in the end you let yourself needing her?"

"Accidentally… we just had a lot of things in common and at that time we had similar goals of being free from that town, but like Icarus, I flew too close to the sun. All of that would have been worth it if we succeeded." Root rubs her eyes. "Jokes on us, huh? In the end, neither of us was free."

Root by that town and Su by her problem.

"Icarus?" Roger asks in perplexity.

"A Greek myth about an idiot who flew too close to the sun with wings made of wax and melt it. I was too close with her to a point until it was unbearable not being with her." Root brings out her phone. "That's why I'm listening to her now on the no killing or hurting other thing. It's important for me to consider her wishes lest she bail on me, and I'll wind up in E-unit again, but this time permanently. It's that and the fact she's basically a God. Whatever she tells me to do, it's wise of me to listen."

"You rely on a hallucination but not other people?" Lauren shots back sourly.

"She's not a hallucination." Root grits out.

"Now, Lauren, don't be like that." Roger chides his friend. "You know as well as I do that trust issues are symptoms some people have."

"Not a symptom." Root protests.

"You're not helping, Robin." Roger warns.

"And you aren't helping by thinking this is a weakness on my part." Root counters.

"Well, it is." Roger crosses his arms. "You don't trust us to tell us how we can help you when you're going through a rough patch."

God… why can't these people be like Pauling or even Su? At least they don't bother to dig too deep or ask for insane things.

"There's nothing to tell, because I don't need help."

"You don't just not need it, you're refusing it."

"That's my choice."

"And you're rejecting help because you can't accept it."

"I'm refusing it because I won't accept it."

"I get that is what you want us to think, so we won't think you can't."

"You're being completely ludicrous."

"If you could, you would have done it so we don't think you can't."

"If I did that, you would think I need it."

"Now you're being ludicrous." Roger points a finger at her. "You clearly don't, since you haven't had any friends for two decades because you would have crashed and burned long before now if you did need it."

"Stop fighting!" Tina finally speaks up with her hands on her ears.

Root chooses to not reply to Roger and lets out a sigh, while Lauren is still sulking.

"Sorry." Roger quickly places his hand on Tina's shoulder to comfort her.

"You're full of vain." Lauren mumbles.

"Maybe grandiose would fit better." Root replies without malice. "Personally, never thought it would apply to me, but I suppose a person can be grandiose and is actually superior just like how a person can be paranoid and actually in danger at the same time."

"So superior." Lauren's voice dripping with sarcasm. "You're way too good for us, plebs."

Root rolls her eyes. "Being superior is a pain the ass though… way too many responsibilities."

"You know you can always get down from your high horse and be level with us plebs." Lauren scoffs.

"Putting aside the fact that I'm a certified smartass, and to not acknowledging it doesn't make it not true. So, it won't change the fact that capacity and capability to kill without remorse. That I can lie point blank to your face, and you will never know about it or take advantage of any straight male with just my looks. I'm not lacking anything, so I don't take failure as an option."

"Sure…" Lauren drawls it out. "And I have a beachfront property in Kansas to sell you."

"I can't really prove most of what I said to you right now, but I mean it when I said I'm a certified smartass." Root grins. "There's paperwork to back that claim, and it's gathering dust from my school's file cabinet in Freer. Got tested twice."

"Huh, check out Miss Valedictorian." Roger teases.

"Miss the mark completely." Root chuckles. "Sure, I was that throughout elementary, junior high and was a Highschool Junior when I was 13, but I practically stopped going to school for almost three years. When I came back, they thought I was cheating and had me tested, which gave a similar answer to my prior test. Would have dropped out if Mom didn't insist that I at least get my HS diploma before something bad happens to her."

"Truancy? For three years?" Roger makes it sound like she just said the impossible. "How the hell did you even managed that in a small town?"

"That's easy. Just crash in an empty house near the police station and they never think to look there." Root smirks. "Also, they all assumed I went the way of my mom after… well, you know."

"But seriously? You were a Junior at 13 and basically dropped out?" Roger looks baffled.

"Yup." Root replies happily while trying to avoid having to go on a tangent of how useless it was for her to even continue school.

"Grandiosity… that's the reason why you're so chill about everything? Nothing scares you." Tina has a tinge of envy in her voice, but she gives Root a smile. "I wish I had your confidence… fearing everything all the time really sucks. I'm constantly hiding behind Lauren or Roger. They keep me safe from jerks and loud noises. And the things that trigger my memory… of what happened… I-I'll tell you about it later."

"I might have a vague idea." Root replies softly, surprising the three of them. Did they really think she'll be condescending against a victim? "You can hide behind me anytime… if you want."

Tina gives her a warm smile. "I dropped out too, although it was college and after three semesters. I just couldn't handle it and had to move in back to my parents. I tried… really hard, but I couldn't do the whole living on my own, even in a dorm. It was just too much."

"You're still young." Root says kindly. "The door is still open for you to pick up where you left off once you get better."

It didn't pass her that Roger and Lauren been talking close and quiet to one another while she's busy with Tina. Root raises a brow at them, then Lauren looks back disheartenedly, and Roger rolls his eyes.

"I'm sorry that I don't have what you want." Root begins. "If I did… I would have given it to you. I don't want y'all to sad… like that. It's not I'm not able to accept help." Root shoots Roger a look. "And it's not just because I think it's a weakness to look like I need it, but the truth is, I don't have the faintest clue about what it looks like."

She 'helped' Su with her problem in her own way, but no one has ever helped her… unless she counts Su's twisted sense of 'helping'.

"Well…" Roger begins slowly. "What helps you feel better when things get tough?"

"Talking to her." Root nudges the phone slightly. "Breaking things and making people do what I want… that's pretty much it." Letting out a sigh. "If… if things take a turn for the worse and it appears that I may act rashly. You can help me by asking me what she thinks about it. Either I remember that she'll disapprove and try to stop or I will have to check in with her, and it'll at least give her a chance to talk me out of whatever 'triggered' me. However, I didn't listen to her the last time, so, if shit hits the fan, you better off think of yourself and run. Avoid becoming collateral damage and just wait for me until I get out of seclusion."

"That's a start, but I hope you won't be hulking out anytime soon." Roger remarks lightly and glances at Lauren to tell her something wordlessly. "What did you do before her? I mean, she's new and you're… when you're on your own, how did you manage it?"

"Hurt someone." Root replies casually. "When that's not an option, I break a lot of stuff, and neither sounds great to do here."

"How about what comforts you?" Roger words it differently. "For me it's back rubs, especially when they rub small little circles on my back, just like how my mom did it when I was a kid and crying… it just stuck."

"I hide under my blanket, and I don't know why it works. Intellectually, I know a blanket won't protect me from anything, but nonetheless it makes me feel safe." Tina adds.

Lauren gives her tepid look and didn't open up. So that's when Root considers revealing one herself. She rubs her temple as she decides which is more important, Lauren's feelings or her dignity.

After a minute of silence, Roger begins. "Rob…"

"Give me a second, okay? She interrupts him. "It's humiliating."

"Alright, alright." Roger brings his hands up in surrender.

God, she never told Su about this after almost a decade and here she is, thinking about telling people she only knew for a few weeks.

After another minute of thinking, she finally blurts out. "A plushie, a hug plushie. Okay, happy?"

They all collectively blink in shock.

"See, this is the exact reason I was hesitant to share." Root huffs.

"Wait, you're being serious?" Lauren asks tentatively. "That's real?"

"Why would I make something up to embarrass myself?" Root deadpans and mumbles. "Even S… Anna doesn't know about it."

Once more, the look of surprise is on their faces for a while before Roger asks. "Why wouldn't she know about that?"

"Because it's a weakness, and she doesn't understand it." Root replies flatly.

"I mean why, though." Lauren frowns. "Yeah, not everyone needs a plushie, but there are still a ton of adults who likes the feeling of one."

"You don't know her." Root explains. "Underneath everything she puts on, she doesn't understand the need for physical attachments and will endlessly mock me for even thinking of needing a hugging plushie."

"Why would she do that? Doesn't she care about you?" Tina asks.

Root lets out a mirthless chuckle at that notion and replies. "She says she does, whether I believe her is a different thing, but in the end that doesn't matter because of her fucked up sense of caring and I won't elaborate on that."

She really, really doesn't want to dig that pile of shit up from the grave.

"Putting aside the whole weakness thing. I hope you know needing a plushie isn't something to be embarrassed about, right?" Roger tries to comfort her. "Like half the unit has stuffed animals. I mean, I think I understand from where you're coming from if you do it like Justine and take it everywhere with you. But just have one in your room? That's by far the least embarrassing thing in here."

Root rolls her eyes. "Not to me, it isn't."

"What's he like? …Or she?" Tina asks.

Root raises a brow and answers. "Gone through countless now with how much travel I do, but in the past, I had Beanie Babies and for the past few years, it's mostly Uglydolls. Not that I have one at the moment, though. Dear old uncle didn't know, so he didn't pack it and there's no chance in hell I would ever tell him. Still, it's not a big deal. Whenever I lose one, it normally takes me a while to get around to buying a new one, seeing it's a non-essential."

Roger smiles at her. "In a place like this, every bit helps… this place brings up a lot of bad feelings."

"I doubt it's going to be an issue with me." Root replies assuredly. "I won't be getting those bad feelings, especially now with her by my side. In the outside world, I'm almost always happy, having fun and getting things done. In here… it's irritating because I can't get things done or have fun. Add to that people who keep on prodding my brain and I rather they didn't. The point is comfort is for things like getting the flu or bad cramps. Feelings need not apply."

"They will." Lauren says sagely. "People come in like that all the time, thinking they are never scared, sad, or weak, but no one leaves here like that. Either you break, and all that shit comes back, or you're a lifer like Andrew."

Root gives her a defiant look. "It won't happen to me."

---

A/N: Thought I wanted to do a bit more, but the chapter is already long enough, and I don't want this chapter to take a month to write. Anyway, the next chapter will probably take longer.