SuDo Madhouse

by BigBJ

To others Hanna Frey is what she wants others to see, but Sam is the only one that sees her true side. However, given that Hanna has reincarnated into multiple dimensions and universes, it's no wonder that she might have a few screws loose. Follow the adventures of Hanna and Samantha throughout their life. OC-SI into Hanna Frey, A journey of damnation and maybe redemption.

44. Chapter 44: Pressure

ROOT POV

"Robin," the group leader calls for her attention. "This is your third time in this group, and you haven't contributed anything when we're sharing what makes us angry. Do you have anything to add?"

"Nothing comes to mind." Root answers demurely as if the man asked a valid question. She didn't even pay much heed to Su being across from her.

"Any reason to why?" The group lead probs.

"Well… I am sitting in a room with half a dozen people bigger than me, all of whom have anger issues and a history of violence. So, I rather not say the wrong thing." Root gives a crooked smile while glancing around the room.

Interestingly, Su's sitting right dab in the middle of those bigger people without a care in the world. Although, she has said nothing substantive.

"This is an anger management group, Robin." Bless his soul for trying his hardest to not deadpan at her.

"You're right, that's the other reason." Root snaps her finger at the man. "Because I'm not sure why I'm even here. There's not much for me to learn since I'm not angry or mad. Only reason I'm here is for compliance."

The man taps his knees. "Right, if you're not participating then I won't be marking you as complying. Everyone noticed that you've been working hard to gain privileges in the last two weeks, and I hate to see you backsliding because of this."

"What is with you people and threats?" Root tuts and grins as she remembers the lesion from the previous session. "That's not a very productive way of expressing your frustration, Alex."

A wave of chuckle ripples through the other patients with the sole exception of Su, who just raises a brow… what a sourpuss.

"Alright, Robin. You want to know why you're here?" Alex being uncharacteristically irritated. "Because of behavior like that."

"Like what? Those words are yours, not mine." Root feigns innocence.

"You are no different from anyone else here with your history of violence, and just because you're not shouting at others doesn't mean you're not angry." He says pointedly. "That kind of sarcasm, that mocking, it's what we call passive aggression. Coming to your group and refusing to participate? Dragging your feet at everything we've asked? That's passive aggression too. You feign compliance, that's the passive part, and then you slyly sabotage everything you're involved in. That's the aggression."

From the corner of her eyes, she can see Su suppressing a giggle. Root crosses her arms and replies with a slightly sour tone. "What I'm doing is giving my all to participate in this pretense. This whole thing is ridiculous."

"Now we're making progress." Alex "You feel this group is ridiculous? Do elaborate."

Root blinks. "Huh?"

Did she just unwittingly take the bait?

"Tell us how completely ridiculous all of this is." Alex opens his hands wide at her. "Share that."

"Right." Root shrugs away her surprise. "When I came here, I was a walking vegetable and now I'm no longer a vegetable, but I'm still here, in the most restrictive unit in this pathetic hospital. For the past two weeks and half weeks, I've been doing everything you lot have asked of me, without a single protest, since I got my phone back. I go to where I'm supposed to, eat when I'm told, sleep when I'm told, and if you guys are just a smudge more restrictive, shit when I'm told. I've kept my head down and my mouth shut, but now… lest I make up a reason to be angry, you're going to strip away what pittance privilege I have. So, no Alex, I don't have anything to contribute because I don't have anger to manage."

"You've threatened to kill two doctors in two separate units and a patient in a different unit." Alex rebuts her. "And before you became a walking vegetable, as you so eloquently put it, you were waving your gun around and tried to shoot the police."

"Please check for definition for precisely aim, because it's sure as hell isn't waving around." Root corrects the man.

"That doesn't make it any better or any difference, Robin." Alex shakes his head. "The point is that you were wielding a deadly weapon at another person, and the police had to shoot you to stop you. That's exactly the type of angry, violent behavior we're addressing in this group."

"Well, I believe it makes a difference. Waving a gun around is something a crazy person would do." Root rolls her eyes. "Aiming a gun, on the other hand, is what people do when they want to shoot, whether or not out of anger. I'm more than happy to keep up these… meetings, because that is what is expected of me, but I will not be sitting here and making up reasons for I'm okay just to participate in your little exercises."

"By all accounts, you were also okay just before your catatonia, just as you are now." Alex counters. "We are here to figure out the root causes of these outbursts."

"Can't be an 'outburst' if it only happened once." Root waves him away. "I made some… poor choices, so I'll just have to choose differently in the future."

"Robin, you should understand that we can't take your word for that." Alex raises a brow at her. "Now… the others have all shared something that they are angry about today, so can you give the group something?"

… Guess everyone did say something, even Su… who basically said everyone in this room bar Root's existence is an annoyance to her. Not anger per se, but it conveyed her emotions on the matter.

Alex continues. "Maybe… maybe you don't want to say angry. Do you find something irritating? Annoying? Is something bothering you?"

That's something she can work with.

"Bothering me? Sure, there's something that bothers me." Root acquiesces casually. "I've been feeling nauseous for the past two days that I've barely eaten anything, and I can only assume it's another side effect of my very unpleasant detox from the drugs you people shoved into me." Just like that, the floodgates of grievances open. "I've been bored out of my mind because I'm not allowed to watch anything good on the TV. I still haven't gotten computer access, and they've vetoed some of my new selection of book that I wanted to read."

Her eye wonders around the room, and she continues. "I can't get a decent night's sleep with the constant flashlight in my face every 15 minutes. Add to that they aren't giving me sleeping pills because it'll mess with the taper and the alternative of melatonin does fuck all. Then you lot not knowing the meaning of privacy because I can't take a shit without someone peeking in to check on me. The coffee is never hot enough, the food is bland, and I'm starting to get cabin fever from being all cooped up in here, and no, the sundeck barely counts as being outdoors."

She takes a second to calm her breathing and ignores the look everyone is giving her. "Then, just to add insult to injury, I'm supposed to come here twice a week and listen to a bunch of malcontents talk about how they can't stop themselves from committing acts of uncoordinated violence just because they got their feelings hurt. So that's what's been bothering me, Alex."

Like a snap after she finishes her rant, the entire circle replies in unison. "Thank you for sharing, Robin."

Root slumps back into her chair and rolls her eyes at Su, who looks entertained by her pointing out the absurdity of this place. Unwittingly or not, somehow everyone's reaction to her, as if she did in fact shared what she's angry about, which only rubs salt into the wound.

"But I'm not angry about it." Root adds defiantly.

"Yes, Roger." Alex ignores Root and calls out to her buddy.

"I'm also a bit angry about the bed checks and Robin's right." Roger says in support. "I swear the techs lately have been shining lights on our faces on purpose. Like they're messing with us."

"I said I'm not angry." Root comments once more, but no one acknowledges it except for Su, who's just giving her a shit-eating grin.

Bitch barely 'shared' anything and is already high and mighty.

"She's right about the coffee." A patient adds. "That shit pisses me off."

"Not pissed either." Root mutters.

Alex points at a raised hand. "Yes, Andrew."

Andrew glances at Root and says. "I'm mad that Robin thinks she's better than the rest of us, when she's not."

Root straightens her posture. "Excuse you?"

"You say you don't want to participate because you think one of us is going to attack you if you say the wrong thing, and well… that's the wrongest thing you can say." Andrew explains. "We all talk about our shit every time in front of you and you're the one that went into seclusion for trying to kill your doctor. No one here is afraid of you. So where do you get off being afraid of us when you're just as bad as us?"

"Ain't afraid of you." Root snaps. "I just don't want to get into a fight because both parties get punished, even if one party was clearly the aggressor. If I have to put you down purely out of self-defense, I'm going to be marked as violent again and I don't need the heat."

"I think you have a problem with men." Andrew growls. "You think you're better because you're one of two only girls in this group. You think we're below you."

Root scoffs at the man. "If you want a misandrist, it's my cousin."

And surprisingly, Su replies. "Can't be a misandrist because I can't prejudice against those I don't even know."

"Yeah right." Root rolls her eyes and turns back to the man. "I think you're projecting seeing you're the one that has a problem with women, and for the record, I haven't been a girl for over two decades. I pointed a gun at my uncle, and you turned your wife into a pincushion."

"Your uncle is a man." The man says as if he's eight-year-old and just won an argument.

"Statistically, people who have problems with an entire gender it's because of sex, Andrew, so unless you think I'm pining for my uncle, your argument is as strong as a wet toilet paper." Root lets out a sardonic chuckle. "My incident was an isolated interpersonal conflict, whereas your interpretation of psycho on your wife is just a manifestation of your misogyny."

"Interpersonal? Manifestation?" The man says mockingly. "You think using those five-dollar words makes you sound smarter? Always acting like you're some kind of genius. You're not fooling anyone, you're just a dumb bitch."

"Cheh, says the guy who can't do math." Su mutters loudly enough for everyone to hear.

Root didn't let the man retaliates as she counters. "Oh sorry, long words are too complicated for someone who's dumb enough to stab someone with paring knives." Root lets out a laugh. "Andrew, a paring knife! They're only three inches, you dumbass. The only way for you to kill someone with that is to go for an artery, but nooo, your dumbass went to the ribcage. You stabbed her sixteen times, and she's still alive. Fucking amateur hour."

"You could have done better?"

"Easily, if I was trying to kill your wife, she would already be rotting the ground, but I suppose I'm better than you at everything other than being a useless lump."

"Okay Andrew, Robin, that's enough." Alex finally intervenes. "One thing we do not want to discuss in this group is who's better at killing people."

"Yeah, because Anna would win." Root rolls her eyes.

"Robin!" Alex snaps.

"Why, thank you." Su smiles brightly at Root.

"Anna!"

And entirely out of character, Su puts her hands up in surrender as she leans back in her chair.

"Roger, do you have something to add?" Alex calls out to her buddy again.

"Yeah." Roger puts his hand down. "Uh, I… I think maybe Andrew's right. I mean, not entirely right. I don't think Robin thinks she's better than us, but… I do think she's scared."

"Wow, thanks Roger, thanks a lot." Root a tinge of betrayal seeps into her voice. "You damn well know I'm not scared of anything."

"But you are." Roger rebuffs her instantly. "That's why you keep on making everyone think you're a 'scary, dangerous cold-blooded killer', which is the complete opposite of what you've been since your seclusion. You're so scared of getting hurt, you forgot you're trying not to scare others anymore. You act scary when you're scared. Like a bird puffing out its feathers."

Su lets out a loud snort at her chagrin.

"That was a hypothetical, and I'm not angry or scared." She replies cooly as she grits her teeth. "But now you're pissing me off."

"Pissed off counts as anger." The man quips.

"Yes, it is Andrew." Alex affirms the resident bully. "Now, Robin, talk with us about why you're pissed off with Roger."

"I might be named by a bird but I'm the furthest thing to a puffed-up avian creature." Root snaps. "In a short minute, Roger said that I'm scared half a dozen times, and that's the biggest bullshit I've heard in this entire session. What I have is a disregard of personal safety and there's nothing anyone in this room can dish out that I can't take."

"You're doubling down on 'I'm not scared, I'm scary' shtick." Alex replies calmly.

"Just because you perceive something doesn't mean its reality." Root replies. "I just don't want another incident."

Alex points his pen at Root. "I think they're right. You are scared."

Mother… "Excuse me?"

"You're scared of us, the staff. You said it yourself; you don't care if someone attacks you, but you don't want to get marked for being in a fight. You can take anything from anyone here dishes out… except for this." Alex raises his clipboard of annoyance. "You're scared of losing marks, of losing privileges, and you're scared of seclusion, because you can't have your phone if you go again."

Alex points to her phone where she's holding in a white knuckled vice grip. That man's words make her brain feel like it just hit a wall while going 60 as she feels her eye twitch slightly. What makes this worse is that fucking look of confusion on Su's face at her silence.

Root runs her fingers through her hair as she thinks of something, anything to say to that, but before she can say anything, Alex continues. "And most of all, you're scared to participate in the groups because you think admitting to feeling anything, or having any kind of difficulty, is going to keep you here forever."

She moves her jaw as she ignores Su's piercing gaze and replies. "Now… I have to be insane to not fear that. Who here wants to be trapped in this place forever?"

"Robin, the best chance for your discharge is to not pretend that you're already okay." Alex says tenderly. "Because whatever you're feeling when you do it, and sometimes you get inappropriately violent with people to a point where it gets you in trouble with the law. You need to learn other ways of dealing in those situations."

"You want to know what I'm feeling when I hurt someone, Alex?" Root leans forward.

"Do tell." That piques Alex's interest.

"Pity." Root answers as she stares into Alex's blue eyes. "It's sad that their life choices brought them to a point where I need to hurt them or when they lost a sense of themselves, making it necessary to resort to violence. I don't fall to our base animalism by hurting others out of anger. Violence is a deterrence of undesirable behavior… unless there are fiscal incentives."

"There she goes off with her five-dollar words again." Andrew scoffs at her like a child.

"Violence is a tool to dispense justice?" Alex frowns at her. "Punishing others for doing things that's unacceptable to you."

"That or just for fun." Root shrugs as she leans back into her seat. "Sometimes it just feels nice to inflict pain, although I indulge it via a less overt method of violence."

A wicked grin spreads on Su's face, replacing the frowning/confusing look that she had.

"And what if you can't?" Andrew challenges her. "What if there's absolutely no way to make someone pay? How would you feel?"

An answer leaps immediately into her mind, but she's trying to find something else to say.

After a few seconds, Andrew asks. "Robin?"

"Anger." Root admits. "I would feel angry. There, happy? You found something that hypothetically would make me angry, and it only took you wasting half this session."

"I don't think it's a waste of time, Robin." Alex smiles at her. "I believe we just found out why you don't do anger and why you do need to be here."

"Those are mutually exclusive." Root replies as if she's talking to a slow person.

"Not for your case, Robin." Alex challenges her. "You are different from the others in here, but not as different as you think. When they get angry, it makes them violent, but when you get violent, or cruel, to get away from being angry. You don't get mad, you get even. So, before we can work on anger management, we need to work on… retribution management. You need to learn to resist the urge to substitute revenge for anger."

Root's only response to that is a scowl… is this guy dumb as bricks? But that doesn't change the prickle feeling at the back of her neck.

"This might seem to be a bit backwards to everyone here, but I want to try something." Alex makes a gesture with his hand to the whole group. "We all know the purpose for this group is to find ways to cope with anger without causing disruption or hurting others. We work on self-calming, and emotional regulation. Now, Robin here has all that handle, but her way of regulating herself is to hurt others."

A few of the people around her mumbles in agreement while some look confused.

"So, Robin." Alex turns his attention back to Root. "We're going to turn the tables on you. When we are talking about things that made us angry, and you are going to tell us about things that make you want to get even. You don't do anger, fine, then we're going to talk about things that give you that impulse to hurt others and to make them pay."

Root blinks in silence and the man continues. "And when we do successes, you know that we usually share something that we could have gotten angry over, could have acted out, but didn't. For you, I want you to tell us about a time when you abstained from getting even, and tolerate that feeling, only to feel angry instead. Even if it means you raising your voice at someone, or punch a table or did something else we don't do in this group, because you need to learn to be angry before you can learn to manage it."

"This is hella ass-backwards." One of the other patients remarks. "How come she can get angry, and we can't?"

"No, no, I get it." Roger coming back into the conversation. "We're supposed to manage our anger and stay calm before we do stupid shit, but she's doing stupid shit to avoid getting angry. So, she needs to learn to give that up, and let herself be angry instead of doing stupid shit. The point isn't if we're angry or not, it's if we do stupid shit or not."

"Well said, Roger." Alex smiles.

With that, the group conversation moves on from her, but that shit sticks to her like mud on her boots.

Somehow, the thing that stings the most out of this fiasco is the constant look of 'wtf is going on' on Su's face and now… that bitch is shaking her head at her, be it out of disappointment or something else but it doesn't change the feeling she's feeling now. That deep pit of… pain.

Why is she even feeling that from that bitch's reaction? She doesn't need her fucking approval for anything. Root tries so hard to ignore it, but it's not working. Even after everything, somehow that bitch still has her grips around Root, and she doesn't know how to deal with that.

She needs to fix this; she needs to feel good again.

00000

THIRD PARTY POV

Towards the end of the day, Alex is coming out of his third group and is looking forward to head home. Hasn't been the easiest day for him, but he has a good feeling about the way he handled the morning group. He stopped pushing on the topic when he noticed how tightly Robin was gripping her leg… at least he had gotten something from her today. Now, if only he can get that kind of progress with Robin's cousin, it'll make his week.

His good mood vanishes the moment he sees blood.

"Geez, what the hell happened here?" Alex sidesteps the droplets of blood on the floor.

"Andrew." The nurse's aide answers. "It's fine now. They've got him in seclusion. The janitor is coming, and Robin is taking it all in like a trooper."

Alex blinks. "Robin?"

"Yeah, he totally went berserk on her." She shrugs as she cleans the mess strewn around them. "You know how Andrew can be. She got banged up, but on the bright side, it didn't set her or her cousin off. God knows what would happen if she went into fight mode. Totally would have expected Root to gouge Andrew's eyes out or Anna breaking his hand, but it looks like seclusion sapped the fight out of the both of them."

"He… he was making progress." Alex comments with a frown. "What about Robin? Where is she?"

The nurses' aide shrugs. "Last I check, in her room."

Alex lets out a tired sigh and turns towards the dorms, making his way to her room. Inside, Robin has her head perched on the bed and reading a book while idly stroking her bruised up face with a dab of dried blood under her nose.

"May I come in?" Alex knocks on the door as he opens it and Robin smiles at him, but it isn't a proud smirk. No, it's a cheerful smile.

"By all means." Robin puts her book down and tilts her head. "What brings you to my neck of the woods? Forgot to give me homework?"

"I hear you gotten yourself into an incident with Andrew." Alex pulls the chair and sits beside the bed. "You want to talk with me about that?"

"Not much to say." Robin shrugs as her hand grasps onto her phone. "He's just bad code and there's no accounting for that. My guess is that he's angry over the things I said this morning, and like Roger said, people do stupid things when they're angry."

"Yes… that's what they said." Alex replies as he narrows his eyes. "But I don't believe them… or you. I think you're the one to start that fight, Robin."

That seems to have shattered that demure smile as a prideful smirk surfaces on her. "That's so? Why don't you ask Andrew about that? I certainly didn't ask him to punch me. Go and look at the tapes if you don't believe me… you still use tapes, right?" Robin's smirk grows wider. "I'm sure there were like three cameras pointing in my direction and all of them will show that I didn't lay a single finger on him."

"Oh, there's no doubting you didn't fight back." Alex nods. "You're smarter than that, and we both know, had you taken a swing at him, you would be in seclusion right now. Instead, you went into opossum mode until techs come to your rescue."

"With that astute observation. How did you conclude I started it?" Robin looks happier than he's ever seen her been. Like a cat playing with its toy.

"You're too smart for your own good, Robin, and earlier today, you said you have a reckless disregard for personal safety. Here's what I think, Robin. After our group this morning, you felt the scales between you and Andrew were unbalanced. He mocked you, threatened you, and he called you stupid. Then there's his violent outburst that mainly directed towards women which doesn't help you image of him and overall his behavior isn't acceptable to you, and that's something you can't stand. With limited retribution options, knowing full well you can't be overt or you'll get into trouble, you waited for a few hours. Where you thought about it and carefully engineered a scenario where he attacks you without an apparent reason. Took you hours to pull off. A little nudge here and a push there, then wham, he suckers punched you. You manipulated him without him even knowing it, and that's how you operate. You provoked it because you wanted him to be punished, and you will take a beating… just satisfy yourself. You leveraged the only people in here who can hurt Andrew back to even back the scales."

Robin lets out a small chuckle. "That certainly is a mouthful… do you want a medal to go with that? Everything you just blurted out is circumstantial and there is nothing that can prove it's me. Sure, I did pepper that idiot throughout the day, but in the end it's still him who did it and not me. So go on ahead and arrest me and see how far you can bring it."

"You think this is funny, Robin?" Alex sits straighter.

"I think there's nothing you can do about it." Robin drums her finger on her phone. "Provoked or not, the man did it and nothing is going to change that fact or his current predicament. A bit of mockery lit up that powder keg, and like I said, he's bad code. All I did was nudge the door open a smudge, but he's the one that knocked the door down."

"That's true. I can't reverse Andrew's punishment, but that doesn't mean there's nothing I can do, Robin. Andrew is being held responsible for his actions," Alex sighs as he stands up. "But you still need to be held responsible for yours."

Robin tilts her head with her smile weaving slightly. "I didn't actually do anything wrong."

"You poked the bear, knowing full well what you're doing, and that's manipulation, Robin." Alex says sternly. "Your manipulation puts yourself in danger and that's reckless, maybe even self-injury. So, I'm going to have to make sure today's incident is in your report. You don't have to swing a punch to be an instigator, because attacks can be mental, too."

"There's no evidence of any wrongdoing… you can't do this." Robin narrows her eyes at him as her body straightens with tense, perceptible sign of anger coursing through her body.

"This isn't a court of law, Robin, and I don't have to give any evidence. The scales are back out of balance, aren't they?" Alex asks which she didn't answer.

"Good. You may as well get angry with me, Robin, because there's nothing you can do to keep things even between us. After all, I have this." He waves his clipboard as he slowly backs out of the room. "And while we're in here, I'll always win. So, sit with that and try to tolerate it."

He closes the door and walks away. Suddenly, halfway through the dorm hallway, he hears a scream of fury and a loud clattering before a repeat pounding sound.

"FUCK YOU!" The distinct sound of Robin's voice reverberates down the hallway. "FUCK!"

He rushes back to the room, where the rhythmic pounding sound on the door stops.

"Robin?" Alex didn't dare open the door, not knowing what would happen if he did.

This is a disproportionate response to a simple note in a record. From his side of his of the door he can hear soft thumping.

"Aren't you going to do something?" Alex jerks his head to look behind him, where he sees Roger's concerned face.

"Roger, you gotta let me handle this one, alright?" Alex says softly. "I'm trying to give her a chance to get control. Robin and seclusion are like oil and water. I don't want to resort to that if I have to, should things devolve as poorly as the last time."

"What do you mean, poorly?" Roger takes a step forward.

Alex holds his hand up. "That's something I can't discuss with you, Roger."

"Because you're covering Carmichael's wart infested ass!" Robin shouts and punctuates the statement with a loud thump on the door.

That's it. This is the last straw. "Robin, I'm coming in!"

He pushes on the door, only to feel the resistance of a human body leaning on it. After a few seconds of back and forth, the door opens enough for him to slither in. Once inside, the door slams back into place.

There Robin is leaning on the door, with her face flushes with anger and her hand red from all the punches. Alex can see the phone on the ground and the chair by her table is flipped upside down in the bathroom. It doesn't take a genius to put two and two together.

"Okay, Robin, I need this to stop." He kneels down and brings his hands up to put it behind her head to stop her from harming herself again.

"Don't touch me." Robin scatters away from him and quickly climbs onto her bed as if it's a safe space.

"Alright, no touching." Alex brings his hands up to placate the woman. "Do you need me to help you?"

The trembling on Robin's hands is clear to see as she covers her eyes and takes deep breaths. Alex just stands there, giving the woman space for herself before he does anything.

"Make it stop." Robin pleads.

Alex takes a tentative step forward. "Make what stop Robin?"

But the trembling woman didn't answer him as she cradle her head in silence for what it feels like forever.

"Shit…" Robin hisses as she brings her hands from her eyes to the back of her head, seemingly coming back from whatever state she was in. "That hurts."

He takes a step forward and quickly scoops up the phone, which triggers a venomous glare from Robin, whose free hand curls into a fist. Undeterred by her blatant show of aggression, he hands back the phone to her, and she quickly snatches it from his palms. Her eyes are wide in surprise that he actually gave it back to her.

"I bet… you were head-butting and punching the door. If that doesn't hurt, I don't know what will." Alex tries to lighten the atmosphere and purposefully ignore her plea for help, which falls flat at her non-responsiveness. "Talk to me, Robin. What's going on here?"

"The fuck do you think? It's what you wanted." Robin replies morosely. "Congrats, you made me angry, and I can't do anything about it. I hate this fucking feeling… anger makes you stupid and I'm very angry right now."

"This can't be the first time you've been angry."

"No, only time I actually get angry was with S… Anna." Robin answers with a hollow voice. "But this is the first time I have gotten angry with some random person."

"Thanks… I guess?" Alex was not sure how to take it. "What do you do to cope when you're angry with her?"

Robin shrugs, but her face is still flush with anger. "I scream at her until she feels uncomfortable or makes her feel uncomfortable via other stuff."

That… isn't the healthiest relationship. Better tell McIntyre about that after this.

"So, what's your goal now?" Alex asks. "Harming yourself isn't a way to cope with this."

"I know… I told S-Anna the same…" Robin's voice breaks slightly. "But I don't know what to do."

"You didn't seem to care that I figured you out earlier." Alex says softly. "Is this really about getting a note in your report, or is there something else going on here?"

Robin didn't say anything for a moment as she just stare at her phone. Alex was about to say something when…

"Please, leave me alone, Alex." Robin snaps her eyes at him. "And do me a favor, shove that fucking clipboard up your ass while you're at it."

Knowing where to choose his battles, Alex does as she says and leaves without saying another word. Once outside, make reassure Roger and tells him to give Robin space before going to his next destination.

He knocks on the open door and says. "Got a minute?"

"For you Alex? Always." Ronald rolls back a bit from his desk and looks up.

Quickly making his way into the room and taking a seat. "Can I talk to you about Robin?"

"Why is it always about Robin?" Ronald sighs as he rubs his eyes. "What did she do this time?"

Alex fills in the doctor about what happened, her reaction to him and his feeling about a missing piece of the puzzle.

"Neither she nor her uncle made any reference to a history of physical abuse." Ronald states. "But I wouldn't put it past her to not tell anyone about it. She was pretty much just left to her own devices when growing up, which accounts for the allergy to rules and constraints."

"You mean she's neglected?" Alex deadpans.

"Perhaps…" Ronald fills Alex in about 'Robbie's Problems'. "Other than that, she has shared little about that period of her life."

"Gee I wonder why?"

Ronald looks taken aback slightly. "Are you being sarcastic to me?"

"We've known each other for how long now? Basically, every staff member knows about the seclusion accident, and the stuff that happened later." Alex replies as he figures out the missing piece. "You've been fostering an antagonistic dynamic, and I blundered right into the middle of it."

"Alex, it's not about that, it's an antagonistic patient. This isn't some daddy issues, dependent, depressive, low esteem care." Ronald says firmly. "We're talking about a self-admitted sadist, and she's already tried mortally harm two people already. If you're letting her garner sympathy by provoking Andrew into hurting her, then you're falling for her trick. She's a victim and don't let her play you like that."

Alex blinks a few times. "Do you know how batshit you sound?"

"It may sound harsh, but I promise you this is for her own good." Ronald holds up his hand as if to placate Alex. "She needs to realize that she needs our help and she's not going to give up any control to accept treatments without us wrestling her inflated ego."

"Is that your reasoning for throwing her into seclusion?" Alex feels disgusted. "Trying to break her?"

"That was a mistake on my part." Ronald sounds like he's been saying that a million times now. "The voice is the only one she's willingly relinquishing control over. But Alex? You need to wise up or she's going to run roughshod right over you."

"I'll take that under advisement." Alex mutters and leaves the room with a huff.

00000

ROOT POV

"Robin?" Lauren says timidly as she gently knocks on the door.

Root's laying on the bed with her covers bunched up on her feet and a pillow over her head. After Alex went away, she tried her hardest to find the most comfortable position while having that twisted feeling in her chest, but to no avail. Only thing that's comforting her right now is The Machine whispering sweet nothings into her ear for the past… who knows how long.

"Robin?" Lauren says again as she slowly approaches the bed.

"What?" Root replies listlessly, as she's not keen to return to the world of the living.

"You missed dinner." Lauren says worriedly. "Are you alright? Roger said you were having a bad time."

Root mutters something incoherent that ended in 'own business.'

Clearly, Lauren didn't heed her as she kneels down to get a clearly look on her and says. "Did Andrew hurt you badly?"

That snaps her out of her mood, and she quickly sits up. "It's not him."

Lauren gives her a look of doubt as she looks closer at Root's face. The woman nonetheless smiles at Root. "I bought you cake from dinner… if you want it."

Sure enough, with a better view, she spots the rather… dull looking butter cake.

"Not hungry now." Root answers quickly before adding. "But thank you."

That didn't deter Lauren as she gets up. "I'm just going to put it on your table."

"So, can we come in or not?" Tina pokes her head at the side of the door and even if she can't see him, she knows Roger is beside Tina.

Root leans on her headboard and rubs her face. "Fine, get in here and get it over with."

"Get over what?" Roger asks as they both enter the room.

"This charade of the third degree." She addresses the three of them, not particularly caring for her tone. "And are you even allowed to be here?"

"Sorta?" Roger shrugs as he grabs and pulls up a chair. "Technically no, but they don't care as long as I'm not alone with any one girl, because you know… gay."

Tina bounces onto the end of Root's bed and Root nods at Lauren, inviting her to seat at the space between them.

"Does it hurt?" Lauren mindlessly reaches towards Root's face with her hand.

"It's fine." Root reflexively dodges the touch. "Nothing's broken, and it's not high enough to give me a black eye. My shin, on the other hand, is way worse."

"You skipped dinner… if you need us, we can stay with you, one of us, all the time." Roger says seriously. "In case he comes back."

"What the? No." Root snaps, causing Tina to jump slightly. "Sorry. I don't need your protection. See this?" Root gesture at her face. "This doesn't bother me because it's barely anything. I don't have any reason to fear Andrew… besides, if I wasn't trying to get his ass into seclusion, I would have kicked his ass."

Roger's eyes widen. "Hold up. You meant to do that?"

"Yeah." Root smiles. "It's the least he deserves for being a misogynistic asshole and being more of a dick than usual. Like I said, I get even."

"By getting yourself pummeled?" Tina squeaks.

"Slightly bruised." Root corrects her. "Seriously, it's fine. By tomorrow it'll be barely noticeable, but Andrew would still have his privilege dropped a level."

"You know that's really messed up, right? People rarely want to get their face bashed in." Roger crosses his arms. "You sure you're not a masochist?"

"Last time I checked; no." Root raises a brow at him.

"That's… disturbingly brilliant." Lauren mutters.

"Would have been brilliant if he dropped to level one." Root quips lightly. "But don't worry about it. I probably knocked my head harder by myself than that oaf."

"Do you want to talk about that or…" Roger trails off and eyes her to continue.

"Nope. It's just part of Alex's new personal quest to piss me off." Root rolls her eyes.

"Looks like he's winning." Roger quips back.

"Shush, traitor." Root replies half-jokingly.

"It doesn't help anyone if we're not honest with one another in group." Roger gives her a sympathetic look.

"An appreciative statement, if only you weren't completely wrong."

"Alright then." Roger concedes. "But I must ask… When you said Alex was covering Carmichael's ass. What did you mean?"

"He's your shrink." Root looks at him with pity. "You wouldn't want to know."

"He's you shrink too." Roger counters.

Root lets out a tired sigh and retells her little group of friends about what happened during her misadventure a couple of weeks ago.

After a few minutes of back and forth, Roger has a worried look on him. "That can't have happened here… at county sure, but not Ridge Stone. That's… just cruel and abusive."

"Pretty sure McEntyre and Gloria have this locked down." Root gives the man a light smile. "So, you don't have to worry about it."

"Don't give me that smile." Roger says solemnly. "If it happened once, it could happen again."

Root gives him a shrug as she finds the hem of her pillowcase to be incredibly interesting. Lauren sits stone still, while Roger picks his cuticles, and Tina traces the grain of the wooden floorboard.

"Would you please pass me the cake?" Root breaks the awkward silence. "I did miss dinner."

"Oh, sure." Roger did it without even getting up.

"Don't know why." Root begins as she cuts into the cake and avoids the frosting. "But with the stomach problems from the taper, all I really want is just stuff from the pastry family. Cake, cookies, donuts, bagels, whatever… milk and vanilla pudding or tapioca. Just the most calorie dense white food in existence. Isn't milk bad for nausea?"

"Meds do weird shit to your body." Tina shrugs. "Did they say anything about what they're planning to do once you're off the taper?"

"Nope, that topic hasn't come up." Root answers as she eats the cake. "I'm hoping it's nothing, but I haven't been lucky recently. Bet that they're just going to find excuses to shove some other unnecessary chemicals into my body."

"Meds do help… they and you just need to find the right combo." Roger raises his brow at her.

"Not doubting science here." Root reassures him. "I just rolled a bad genetic dice. Crazy isn't the only thing that runs in the family, so does not responding to a lot of medications."

"It's been more than a decade since your mother passed, and pharma science kept on marching. I'm sure they've found something for you since then." Roger gives her a look that screams 'don't give up'.

"Yeah… here's me hoping whatever the next drug is won't be as horrible to come off as this one when I get the hell out of here."

"Don't you think that's a long way off?" Tina asks.

"I hope not. I swear the longer I'm in here, the worse I feel. No computers access, no internet, nothing interesting, no respect, no freedom, no feeling of grass on your bare feet. I didn't think I would miss that, but here we are. I would kill for a ten… maybe twenty-minute walk outside and touch grass."

"You would kill for ten or twenty cents." Roger jokes.

"It's a saying, and no, I wouldn't. I either do it for free cause they deserve it or for around seven or eight figures, depending on how hard it is, and no questions asked guarantee." Root smiles into her cake. The last part is the company policy. Tina and Roger both let out a giggle, but Lauren didn't get the joke.

"But in all seriousness, I don't get how y'all put up with this these treatments for as long as you have."

Roger gives her a look at says 'seriously?' and says. "For starters, I actually acknowledge that I have an illness that needs treatment."

"I'm not talking about the treatment, it's about how they treat us… not medically, but the condescension." Root grits her teeth. "I hate patronizing, and they always have those little clipboards, making reports about anything. And it's like they're making up rules of the game just to string us along."

"It's a hospital, not a game." Tina replies. "I mean, what's the point of getting out if you're still sick? So why not just get better?"

"I am trying to get better." Root rolls her eyes. "Andrew deserved death, but he's still alive, to be honest, none of the groups aside from CBT help the homicidal ideation. I don't think about killing people when I'm angry and I don't have trauma. The rest are just arts and crafts and it's a waste of time."

"Well… there are other things you can get better at." Roger adds. "Like being a friend."

"If I'm not meeting your expectation, Roger, I'm not forcing you to hang out with me." Root rebuffs him.

"It's not… I meant like letting others help you and trusting us." Roger says delicately. "Trauma group can be good for trust issues."

"Why should I trust people who don't earn it?" Root shrugs. "Except you guys for now."

"You know no one's buying that, right?" Tina pitches in. "You're in trauma recovery for a reason or else you wouldn't be there."

"No." If she can roll her eyes harder, she can see her brain. "They think something traumatic happened and they're all hung up on the stupid kidnapping thing, but I wasn't there because it didn't happen to me. Did it suck to lose my cousin? Of course. Was that trauma? No. These people aren't good at determining this sort of thing. Half of the stuff people blurt out aren't even that bad."

"Like what?" Lauren says incredulously.

"Oh, like boo-hoo Shannon having to do all the cooking, cleaning and having to look after her younger brother. Oh, heaven forbid."

"She had to do it when she was nine, Robin." Lauren crosses her arms.

"Her father goes to work every day to pay the bill. She was just picking up the slack from not having a mother. What was he supposed to do? Get them to the bus and go to work at the same time?"

"I don't know, but it still sucks for Shannon."

"Then there's Cindy." Root mentions the name with a slight venom in her voice. "She didn't even have to do anything. She just whines about her mother being sad all the time."

"She was so depressed and completely emotionally unavailable." Lauren deadpans. "And Cindy was never good enough to make it okay."

"The mother was sick and everything else is just Cindy reading things into it."

"You would feel different if you had to go through those things yourself." Roger says solemnly.

"But I did." Root chuckles. "That's why I know it's not as big a deal as they've made it to be. The world doesn't care if you handle basic living when you're a child. They don't deserve pity or recognition for doing things that everyone must do to live."

"I'm sorry… we didn't know." Tina quickly mumbles.

"Yeah, because the local nutcase who flipped out in the store is really capable of doing basic household shit like cleaning the dishes, paying the bills on time and taking care of your emotional boo-boos." Root says spitefully.

"How old were you when it started?" Roger asks softly.

"Fuck if I know?" Root says bitterly. "For as long as I have memory."

"Was she able to… you know, do mom stuff?" Lauren asks attentively.

"Must have." Root replies cooly having gotten off her frustration. "Seeing that I'm alive and I sure as hell didn't change my diapers or make my own milk. I was a quick learner, but I wasn't preborn."

There's an awkward silence after that and no one understood her reference. Her friends mostly look away from her, but Lauren has that look on her and she motions to say something.

"Stop." Root cuts her off. "How many times do I have to say I don't need sympathy? Look, it's getting late now, and you guys don't want to be out when it's lights out."

The three of them look hesitant to drop the conversation right then and there. Even Roger looks like he's about to argue, but…

"Why are there other humans in here?" Su asks with a detached curiosity.

All three of them snap their head towards the door where Su is leaning on and is looking at the scene with a blank look.

"Well… we'll give you two space." Roger says and nods at the other two.

Anna doesn't move from her position as each of them files out of the room and is looking past them.

"Well, goodnight, Anna." Roger says as he reaches Su.

That catches Su's attention. "You're the one that screamed at Ro… bin."

Rubin? Seriously? "Leave him alone Anna."

Despite his size Roger, froze for a moment before quickly exiting the room.

"Was he chastising you again?" Su comes into the room and seats on the chair with her legs up onto the bed. "I can get rid of him if you want to."

"What happened to your newfound moralistic, philosophical, and 'religious' framework of avoiding killing people?" Root deadpans.

"It's new, a work in progress, and most importantly, malleable." Su waves the concern away. "I'm sure I can bend the framework slightly and make this an exception."

Root raises a brow. "You and The Machine spent a lot of time creating that framework… she will leave you if you do that."

"Maybe she does, maybe she doesn't. Who knows? What I know is that seeing you unhappy because of a man makes me unhappy. I've only been starting to feel… stuff again, and it's a woozy when unhappiness comes into the mix." Su answers seriously.

A traitorous warm smile creeps on the side of her lips, and she shakes her head. "Don't bother with him. He's harmless."

Su turns her head towards the door. "I still don't get why you let them linger around you."

"The staff here thinks me being with them will help in my treatment." Root answers in half truths. "They lower the heat."

Su turning back to her and nods in understanding. "But you don't have to always be around them."

"I honestly didn't even know you noticed." Root says truthfully.

"I'd be blind if I didn't." Su replies as she looks around the room.

"Wait…" she says with a teasing grin. "Do you want me to 'linger' around you more often?"

"No, but it'll be a change of pace." Su deadpans. "I'm constantly surrounded by crazy people."

Says the crazy woman. "You're the one who's always with your nutrient group."

"Don't know about you, but the idiots here think it's good for me if I get to know those complaining cows." Su answers, with spite in her voice.

Root snorts, before giving the woman a contemplative look and who stares back as if to challenge her.

"Wouldn't hurt if you did sometimes." Su backs down. "These pests have been rowdier than usual, and I don't know why."

"Because you called most of them land whales a couple of days ago." Root deadpans.

"It was a joke!" Su waves her hand around. "The machine said levity would break the ice."

"By telling them they're fat?" Root raises a cynical brow.

"How would I know they would be offended by that?" Su places her hand on her chest.

"You're in nutrition." Root replies dully. "Everyone in there is thin as a rake because of body dysmorphia."

"Hey now, unlike those lots, I am actually eating my prescribed food." Su says defensively.

"Why are you actually here, Su?" Root shakes her head at his meandering conversation. "Cause it's not for new books since I got none and you wouldn't bother coming here just to ask about that."

"Do I really need a reason to drop by?" Su gives her the best attempt of puppy eyes, and falls flat on Root. "Fine, I just want to check up on you. That pest really gave you a solid sucker punch."

"You do know… I know how to minimize the damage, right?" Root traces the bruise on her face. "You've seen Pauling using my face as a punching bag before."

"Well, I thought Pauling how to fight and she isn't some nut job in a looney bin." Su replies offhandedly. "Plus, she's pulling her punches."

She narrows her eyes. "No, she didn't. We both agreed to go all out that time."

"Yes, she was." Su gives her 'are you stupid' look. "She would have KO'd you if she didn't."

Root looks offended and counters back. "I literally talked to her beforehand, and she hasn't lied to me before."

That's how they both continue to talk nothing substantive at all until lights out without actually talking about the weird vibes or any underlying emotions between them.

But Root can't deny she enjoys talking, even with her insanity. Maybe… she might get to do as The Machine asked.

00000

THIRD PARTY POV

Alex has been roving around the unit for the past few hours trying to gather information when he enters the break room.

"Hey Alex." Marlene looks up from her book as he approaches her. "What's up?"

"You might just be the person I need to help with something in my group."

"Am I now? Anything in particular?" Marlene puts down her book.

"I'm trying to get a better read on, Robin. It's always hard with patients who have hidden anger and I can't just be direct with them because the answer will always be the same. You know? Just wondering if there's anything in her written assignment that I can use?"

"Boiling down everything she's written, it's always on the worthlessness of humanity… and in MLA style. It makes an interesting read. You know we're an evolutionary dead-end?"

"Are we now?"

"Yeah, and the bystander effect is demonstrable proof that widespread altruism is a myth. She concedes that true altruism exists in some people but is not inherently part of the human psyche. She never made reference to it, but I think she read a lot of Ayn Rand books. Then there's the phone God, from when I asked the group to write about their faith. Apparently, her god has a plan which will improve humanity, but Robin doesn't know about the plan yet and she's certain that it'll be good because the plan is by a perfect computer, not some flawed human."

"Talk about misanthropic."

"You don't know the half of it." Marlene snorts. "What's relevant to you is that she's angry at the whole human race, but I can't tell you where it comes from. I'm still working on cracking that tough nut, but I need to hit hard enough to chisel away her hard mask."

"Don't tell me you're on the same page as Dr. Carmichael's on his break her down and force treatment scheme."

"God no. Is he doing that?" Marlene has a concern look on her. "Running headfirst onto her is the worst idea. What I'm doing is sneaking through the side door."

"Which is…"

"Psychodrama." Marlene smiles at the memory. "She hated it at first… like most people, because it's weird, but once she gotten used to the idea… Alex, she's an amazing actor, and get me started when I mix her with her cousin. They basically became different people. With psychodrama, she can listen to someone's description of their mother, their teacher, their siblings, and become that person. Well, the other patient's description of that person, with frightening accuracy. She mirrors and doubles with a bizarre level of insight."

"How long until we can see progress?"

"We already have, but it is just not the ones you're looking for. She guards her independence like a dog with a bone, but at the same time, she doesn't like it. You can actually see some sense of relief when she gets into a helpless role. Like it's a chance for her to indulge an unacknowledged desire to have someone else calling the shots for once without compromising her self-image, because she's just in a character. Kinda makes sense in a loop around way… must be exhausting to never letting anyone help."

00000

ROOT POV

"Right… Robin. Alex talked to me a couple of days ago…" Carmichael takes his seat in that annoying rocking chair as they start their regular Friday session. "Got anything to say for yourself?"

"Aren't the patients supposed to do the vagaries?" Root answers back with mockery. "Is this about that idiot again? Cause I'm way over that subject."

"What are you doing, Robin?" Frustration laces Carmichael's voice. "It's as if your sole purpose is to make everyone's job harder."

"That really stings."

"You're playing games with every provider who's here to help you and no one is amused. You've been here for almost a month now and you need to start taking this seriously."

"It's your game." Root gives the man a pointed look. "And you're sore because I'm not playing ball."

"Then why did you provoke a fallow patient, Robin?" The man taps his pen on his notepad. "Did you seek to harm yourself via a surrogate?"

"Please, if I wanted to kill myself, there are easier ways than using that walking lump of coal and don't lump me in the same category as him."

"Then were you jealous of Andrew? Unlike you, he's a violent man who's showing improvement, and you deliberately set him back."

"There's no improving for pests like him and he's only improving by your skewed metrics because he's trying to get privileges."

"And yet until the accident you caused; he had higher privilege than you."

"Because I'm not jumping through hoops like a trained mutt in a dog show." Root smirks at the man. "The real problem you're having is that I'm not playing your stupid games and what you really want is for me to start playing ball by your rules, which will never happen. And I'm an expert at playing chicken."

The frustrated look on his face truly brightens her morning. "You're cutting off your nose to spite your face, Robin."

"Am I really?" A grin creeps up on her. "I've got people to bring your dirt tasting coffee, got no real reason for art room access… and why the hell would I need extra time on the payphone when she calls me, on this? Why should I go through the humiliation for so little gain?"

That catches the man's attention. "Humiliation? What humiliation?"

"The ridiculous way y'all announce earned privileges during morning goals meeting." Root gives the man a 'duh' look. "It's like kindergartners getting praises for tying their shoes. When someone does that to adults, it can only be seen as you're treating them like children."

"Nobody is being praised for simply tying their shoes."

"Obviously not, since we aren't allowed shoelaces and it's metaphor." Root deadpans. "I constantly see people getting praised for ridiculous minor achievements. It's demeaning."

"Other people's goals may seem small to you but…"

"Two days ago, the art therapy group lead thanked me for pushing my chair when I got up like I was a child." Root cuts him off. "This morning, the kitchen staff praised me for bringing back my tray. Last week, the music therapist told me I danced like a prima ballerina."

She can't help but burst out laughing at the memory.

The man clearly doesn't see the joke says. "And you told her you were no such thing."

She gives the man a mocking look. "Oh, you heard about it."

"Jennifer says that's a lie, that you've a lot of training, and you can't shake the muscle memory enough to convince her otherwise."

"God, you need to take her to watch an actual ballet." Root rolls her eyes at the stupid statement. "It takes more than a few scant years of training to become a prima ballerina, and in the end, it wasn't my thing, it's more of H… Anna's thing. I only did it because she did, and residual muscle memory doesn't make one a professional dancer. Jennifer was being ridiculous and patronizing."

"Your cousin?" The man has an intrigued look on him. "There's no report saying that she dances during the music therapy."

"Yeah, because she's avoiding it like the plague." Root waves away the question.

"Any reason why?"

"Is this mine or my cousin's session?" Root snaps at him, not wanting him to think of Su any more than he needs.

The man nods. "Robin… no one is treating you like a child; we're treating you like someone with a mental illness. You're sick and you need help. Once you accept that, you accept that this is for your own good. Without that, you will not get better."

"The heck do you think I've been doing? I know you read Danny's worksheets from CBT. We're meeting twice now, and I haven't even thought about killing you. And I'm going to all of my groups. In what way am I not accepting treatment?"

"You've admitted that you believe you inherited your mother's condition and yet you insist on ignoring it as a factor for your present situation." The man counters. "You continue to mask your symptoms with aloofness and how it has severely impacted you. Which means there can be two things that are going on here. Either you understand and have internalized your illness, only to hide it so you can get out faster. Or after seeing what happened to your mother and how others treated her, you're using it as a rubric to determine your behavior. To disguise your illness without feeling like any of it is truly a problem."

"Or a third option, where I understand and have internalized that no one is capable of treating me. Maybe it is weaker in me compared to my mother or I'm stronger than my mother, but either way, I'm coping with it just fine." Having agreed with The Machine's assessment a while back. "Ain't trying to fool no one, and I just don't want to stay here longer than I need to with you people trying to chisel me down, trying to fit me into your pretty laid out roles."

"Maybe you're truly not as ill as your mother. Maybe you're afraid of sharing your true self with us." The man gives her a sharp look. "Because there's no downside with us assessing you're not in the same boat as your mother."

"There are downsides…" Root snorts. "… I can't risk the possibility of you making another incompetent blunder in the name of healing again." She waves her phone at him mockingly.

He narrows his eyes. "So, if I'm getting this right… you're avoiding telling us your method of coping with your condition, so it won't be taken away like the phone was. In your view, you've everything locked down, but maybe we won't like how you've been doing it and you're not willing to risk the loss of control when abandoning those methods might cause. Because you don't believe our methods would work."

"You're this close…" Root makes a gesture with her fingers. "To be threading in territory where I'm going to be forced to lie to you or stonewalling you. Then we're going to wind up with you getting frustrated again and throwing your weight around, then me responding with more homicidal ideation. That's something we both don't want."

"I really appreciate that, Robin." Carmichael smiles. "I'm guessing you're making it out to be a threat, but choosing to not lie to me is an excellent decision. Can we make it a goal that you try to make more good choices like that?"

"Please don't talk to me like I'm a mental deficient." Root replies in disgust. "And I don't care if that's an insult to everyone else in here because there's only two of us right now. I'm a functional adult and I prefer to be addressed as such."

"Fine, I can do that, Robin." The man's tone instantly becomes firmer than it's always been, losing any undertones of placation. "Threatening to lie is crap behavior, but it's a step up from actually lying and you just showed me you can take that step. You've just raised the bar of expectations and made more work for yourself because now I'm not going to accept anything less from you."

"Was that so hard?" Root assumes the voice she used when she was playing therapist.

"And you've been playing hooky with setting your goals, which isn't going to fly anymore." He points his pen at her. "It's simple, no goals, no discharge. You're not leaving until you start making and meeting goals. Now I'm offering to make one of those goals something I expect you to do anyway, because I don't think you give enough crap to do otherwise. So, how about you don't shoot yourself in the foot by not following goals?"

"Just to be clear here… you want me to threaten people instead of lying to them?" Root pokes the man.

"You should stop playing dumb if you want me to treat you like a functioning adult because you know what I'm asking of you. You have a habit of lying and you need to break it. When someone asks something that triggers your need to lie, you tell them you can't answer without lying and we back off the question…" the man gives her piercing look, "for now."

"It's not a trigger, it's a choice." Root replies dully. "Simply easier to lie than deal with your guy's bullshit when you don't like my answers."

"Then show us that. Quit taking the easy road and deal with the way we get. So, make that choice."

"This is going to get dull quickly, but you're the expert. If this gets me closer to getting out of this place, I'll do it."

"Goals." He writes on his notepad. "Robin will become more comfortable opening up to her treatment team about when subjects matter is too uncomfortable for her to be truthful, instead of lying. One down, you got any ideas for the other two?"

"Don't set Andrew off again?"

"That's a bit narrow, but it's a good starting point." The man shuffles a few papers around. "Note from Alex; Robin doesn't openly express anger, but finds a way to gain retribution on those who incite it."

Root shrugs and grins. "Nothing false about that statement."

Carmichael ignores her interjection and continues to read the note. "This was typified by Robin engineering a confrontation with Andrew to her own disadvantage to get him into trouble. She needs to work on owning and expressing anger instead of getting even. So, that is another thing you're going to have to do anyway… let's make it a goal."

"How does that one goes in psychobabble?" Root chides.

"Goals: Robin will learn to recognize, accept and verbally express repressed anger and resist the urge to covertly sabotaging people she's incised with."

"This is going to be a train wreck." Root sighs dramatically and blows away a strand of hair from her eyes. "Like I told Alex, this is dumb. Do you think the walking oaf would respond any less violently to someone being confrontational with him than he did when I set him off? I could get hurt, and you'd be responsible." Root ends it with a pout.

"You still got hurt anyhow." He carelessly nods at her now yellowish bruise. "That didn't deter you at all."

Root looks at the CCTV camera and shrugs. "I'll try it… happy? But I'm not making any promises on this one."

"As long as you tried, it's better than never to have tried, and that's the goal of this exercise, which is going to take some work. Now, while we're on this subject." He points at the bruise once more. "I can think of another goal similar to the last."

"Pray tell."

"You don't sabotage others… and sometimes, at the same time, yourself. Maybe I could play off as you are willing to endure misfortune in the name of revenge, but you've also managed to have multiple accidents all on your own. Falling in the shower, tripping in the hall twice, and tripping on your chair in the dining hall."

An amused smirk appears on her. "They used to warn me about that all the time in high school. Four on the floor Robin, and figure it didn't actualize until I'm in my thirties."

"You've curated situations to get stuck with long tedious tasks other people actively avoid." The man rams past her interjection. "You just say the wrong thing at the right time to be sent to the hall during groups. You're collecting misfortunes. Can we make a goal to stop that behavior?"

"Am I allowed to refuse?"

"Do you have objections?"

"The last two goals you gave me an alternative, except for this self-sabotage." A grin grows on her. "I can suggest an alternative, but I wouldn't be in my best interest to share it with you."

"Self-sabotage or not, whatever it is you are getting out of this behavior, you're not going to be getting it anymore, Robin. If you insist on continuing this misfortune, I'll make sure none of the staff will be a party to it anymore. You won't be monopolizing the unpleasant tasks, and the group instructors aren't going to fall for you bait anymore."

"Accidents are still an option." She gives the man a lopsided smile. "Will this place stoop so low as to deny aid to my injuries?"

The man gives her a hard look before sighing. "Do you not hold any value to your bodily integrity, Robin?"

"Of course, I do. I'm not going to put my hand in a woodchipper, but everything is kosher so long as everything remains functional." Root replies musingly.

"Well, I'm going to write it down anyway and when you're ready to stop screwing yourself over, try asking yourself what you are getting out of all of this." He picks up his pen. "Robin will express and ask for help with her needs, in lieu of manipulating others to fulfil them unknowingly by inflicting deliberate misfortune upon herself."

"No, Robin, won't." Root replies playfully, not taking the situation seriously.

"She will if she wants to leave this place." The man not taking her shit.

"Robin won't because she's not doing that in the first place." Root waves his speculation away. "Besides, your threats won't work on me because it's all up to her when I'm leaving this place. Until then, I won't, and it won't be up to you."

"But everything is up to me." The man's face looks like he's about to laugh. "That's the arrangement here. I know you think I'm the… 43rd smartest person in this building, but at some point you're going to have to deal with the fact that I'm the psychiatrist and you're the patient."

"I don't think that has ever been in doubt."

"Really, no doubt? Because every time you walk through that door, it becomes a power struggle. You dodge questions, duck responsibilities, and throw any help back in my face."

"So ungrateful, isn't it?" Root says mockingly. "In the CS field, it's called a known issue. I've never can accept hand outs and never plan to either."

"Your arrogance will only hamper your healing."

"Or maybe at some point you'll learn to play by my rules." Root smirks. "Would make your work so much easier, but I suppose your pride and arrogance is more important than being good at your job."

"It's not pride, Robin, it's about helping you."

"If you're the sane one here and I'm the crazy one, then shouldn't you be the one that makes the concessions and step to my level? If I'm the ill, then I can't be expected to be able to meet you at your level."

"Are you conceding?"

"But are you denying it? Because we can't have it both ways, doc."

"And yet you can? You're both well enough to not be here, but sick enough that you can't participate in your treatments?"

"I don't need to have it both ways because even if one of those two things is true, then you're going about this all wrong."

"You can't tell me how to do my job, Robin. I'm the psychiatrist."

"I'm not even sure you can do your job or help anyone with this attitude."

"Unlike you, my other patients willingly do what I ask of them, Robin." He gives her a cold stare. "You don't want my help, do you?"

"You? No, not really." She waves her phone while listening intently to the calming pings. "I only need her."

00000

THIRD PARTY POV

"Gloria, can I speak with you?" Carmichael says as he approaches her in the dining hall while she monitors dinner time.

"Of course, Ron." She smiles at her colleague. "What can I do for you?"

"I'm moving Robin up a level to three. Can you make the announcement tonight at wind down?" He returns a small smile.

Gloria blinks in surprise at the development. "Oh, that's amazing news."

"Perhaps." He gestures for her to lower her volume. "However, it might to go down so well, so might have a couple of techs on hand just in case and be prepared to revoke the level if she makes a fuss."

Gloria recoils slightly. "What… and why would that happen?"

"Well…" Carmichael's voice turns slightly sheepish. "… she's rather averse to public praises."

"Oh…" she frowns, "then we'll just tell her privately."

Carmichael shakes his head. "That'll defeat the purpose."

She narrows her eyes. "Which is?"

"To make it clear to Robin that participation in the achievement and reward system is non-optional." He says like he has a bone to pick. "She's purposefully refusing to gain level because she finds the whole system to be beneath her and we can't have someone who thinks they're above the system, Gloria. Maybe once she realizes she can't escape it by staying at the same level forever, she might make some progress in her treatments."

"I'm not comfortable with this course of action, Ron." Gloria says firmly. "I will not abuse the level system for punitive actions, even if it's a change of level upwards."

At the corner of her eye, she can see Robin coming up to them.

"I get you don't want to be seen as the bad guy here. So let one of the techs to do it because it's not important who does it. What's important is that…"

"My ears are burning~." Robin says creepily from behind Carmichael.

Carmichael jumps slightly as he quickly turns around. "Robin… I'm just having a chat with Gloria."

"Seems like it's about me." Robin looks at him up and down before deliberately pouring her small milk carton at the man.

"Argh!" Carmichael backs aways from Robin and almost collides with Gloria.

"Oopsie~." Robin's tone doesn't match the dead look in her eyes.

"What the hell, Robin?"

"Gee, probably best if I don't get any new level today, right? That will be so unfair to anyone who just witness this…" Robin says with a low voice as her head tilts to the side to see the mass of people who's staring at the scene. "Sorry about the tie… it didn't match with your shirt anyway."

Robin walks past them and handing the empty carton of milk to a flummoxed Gloria as she makes her way out of the dining hall.

"Uh… A little help here, Gloria?" Carmichael stands awkwardly with his arms apart, trying to not get the rest of his shirt ruin.

"Hmmm, looks like you deserved that." Gloria turns her back on him. "And get your own paper towels."

Gloria quickly exits the dining hall to find someone that can fix this mess before it gets out of hand and all she can hope for is that she hasn't left.

"Anita!" Gloria hurries down the hallway to the elevator lobby, where the doctor has her purse on her and an umbrella in hand ready to leave this place. "I need to talk to you!"

McEntyre turns around with a slightly worried look on her. "Yes, Gloria? What's wrong?"

With heavy breathing, she says. "It's Ronald."

She can see the energy leaving McEntyre's body. "Why is it always Ronald? What did he do this time?"

00000

"Rhetta is worried about the taper earlier, but symptoms look to have levelled off since then, so I'm willing to order another cut to her dosage." Dr. Maslow, the unit psychopharmacologist, absently addresses the recorder in his hand while his patient sits opposite him.

"Bigger than last time?" Robin asks hopefully. "Like if you keep on cutting in small increments, we're never going to end… when does this end?"

"The closer we get to the end, the smaller the dosage reduction. It's a matter of percentages and not absolute value." He replies without looking her way and continues jotting down his notes.

"When?"

"Should be done by the fourth week of July or early August and it could have been longer, but the duration of the treatment wasn't long, so we're able to taper down quickly."

"You gotta be kidding me." Robin places her hand on his table and gets closer.

"Coming off drugs takes a while." He shrugs unwaveringly at his patient's aggressive posture.

"This is taking longer than when I was on the drugs, which was only for three weeks, and we've been doing this for three, coming into four weeks now. Why the hell can't we speed this up?"

"Withdrawal symptoms will only increase if…"

He tries to explain to his patient, but she cuts him off. "But it'll be faster, right?"

"It'll be unwise." He finally comes around to look at his patient in the eyes. "Think about how badly you felt on Wednesday."

"Is it going to kill me?" Robin has a hard look on her.

"Very low probability, since we've passed the point where there's a likelihood of seizures." He admits and gives Robin his full attention. "As you've said, you've only been taking it for less than a month…"

"Then what's the holdup?" She cuts him off once more. "At this rate, it'll take three months just to get off 3 weeks' worth of drugs."

"You may be underestimating the effect of early drop off will have you on you."

"And you're underestimating just how much I want this to be over with."

"Robin…"

"Medically speaking." Robin making a habit of cutting him off. "What's the biggest cut we can make now without turning me into a vegetable?"

"I don't think you're ready…"

"I'm not asking for your opinion. I'm asking for facts." Robin says firmly.

"Technically… at this dosage…" He rubs his jaw in trepidation, "… it's possible…"

"What's possible?"

"It's possible to come off completely." He practically forces out the words from his mouth.

"Then I'm done." Robin jumps out from her chair. "Court order says that I only have to take anything you deem necessary. Since it's no longer psychologically necessary… and now not physiologically necessary anymore. So, no more."

Robin begins to walk out of the room and he says. "The hardship you've been going through the past few weeks is only a fraction of what you're setting yourself up for."

She stops and turns her head. "Will it last any longer now than if I come off three or four weeks from now?"

"No, but it'll be worse." He says direly.

She turns away from him and only stops when she reaches the door. "I'll risk it, and you should let Linda know why I won't be needing my meds anymore."

Maslow rubs his face as he lets out a sigh. He could have to handle this encounter better. Now he'll need to inform the others.

Maslow knocks on Dr. Carmichael's door and enters the room. "Oh… I can come back later."

He's surprised to see the room was full of nurses, techs, and doctors. Maslow wasn't aware of any meetings now.

"No, please come in." Dr. Carmichael waves him in. "If it's important, we can reconvene this… meeting to another time."

"We won't." Dr. McEntyre mumbles loud enough for everyone to hear.

Standing in the middle of the packed room, Maslow says. "Wouldn't categorize it as critical, but it's about Robin."

Dr. Carmichael slumps into his chair while letting out a tired groan, while the other in the room looks vindicated.

"Join the club." Alex says. "I would tell you to pull up a chair, but we're now a standing only room."

He eyes everyone in the room. "I'm assuming you're all in here…"

"Yup." Alex cuts him off dryly.

"We're having an intervention." Gloria informs him grimly while giving Dr. Carmichael a stink eye.

Unbeknownst to Maslow, he unwittingly signed himself up for the intervention of Dr. Carmichael and workshopped on how to handle Robin. Only after an hour of an intense tug of war between the stubborn doctor and the rest of the staff, before Dr. Carmichael acquiesce to the pressure, and only then when Maslow finally get to do his initial reason for coming here.

000000

ROOT POV

"How are you holding up?" Lauren asks as she takes a seat opposite Root, who's poking her massive pile of pancakes.

"Seem fine, but I think nothing started yet, hence the carbs. Nausea and vomiting are high probability, along with…" Root holds up the pamphlet Dr. Leipman had given to her yesterday and reads the contents mockingly. "Agitation, anxiety, panic attacks, yeah right, aphasia, blurred vision, chest pains, depersonalization and derealization…"

That last one hits a bit close to home with a certain malnourished woman who's currently out of it while eating her breakfast.

"… I've had enough trouble with dissociative crap already, so why not just add that to the pile? Depression, diarrhea -eww, dizziness, dry heaves, dry mouth, electric shock sensation, fatigue, flu-like symptoms, headaches, -snorts been having them since the start of the taper, hypertension, hallucinations… who would notice that? Increased sensitivity to touch, sound, and smell. Insomnia, impaired memory and concretion, metallic taste… no clue what that means. Mood swings, muscle spasm, nightmares, numbness and tingling, photophobia, pins, and needles. Postural hypotension, tachycardia, tinnitus and tremors."

"Jesus Christ." Tina yelps. "Someone please whack me with all of that if I ever feel tempted to take my PRN more than two days in a row."

"Yeah, you bet I will." Lauren replies.

"It's like alcohol withdrawal on steroids." Roger muses.

"Benzo withdrawal is more hazardous than opioid withdrawal…" Root continues to read her pamphlet. "Caffeine may increase the risk of seizures… oh no… what will I ever do without the mud tasting coffee? Alcohol is also a contraindication… but where would I even get alcohol here? Unless… you guys have been hiding pruno around the corner?"

"What's that?" Tina asks innocently.

Roger gives her a side eye and answers. "Prison hooch and apparently taste like bile mixed alcohol, but more importantly, I'm pretty sure no one here knows how to do it."

"Honestly, it boils down on who's making the pruno." Root raises a brow at Roger. "Most taste vile, but some taste decent… for alcohol made from shit lying around."

Lauren gives her a look of awe and skepticism. "Where did you even get to drink one?"

"I've been around." Root answers vaguely and flicks her pamphlet. "This thing assumes I've been taking benzo for years. The acute phase of the withdrawal can last between five to ninety days. Not sure what I'll do if it lasts for ninety days, but that's for people who have taken it way longer than me. I know the shit they pumped into me was for getting me out of catatonia, but this suck."

Root waves the pamphlet as if it's the one that will cause her grief in the near future.

"Thank fuck for SSRIs." Roger adds to the agreement of both Tina and Lauren.

Her eyes can't help but steal a glance at Su. "I hear coming off those ain't fun either."

"Yeah, but it's way milder from the shit you just listed off. It's all headaches and flu-like symptoms." Roger answers. "I ran out a few times when I was out and had to wait for a few days for a refill and had to go to work too. Wasn't fun but wasn't incapacitating either… imagine migraines with the flu, but not man-flu."

Lauren gives her friend a look. "Aren't all flu, man-flu?"

"Doesn't count unless you can't go to work." Roger shrugs. "Anyway, benzos was the go-to stuff for any kind of anxiety in the past, but now they're doing SSRIs first because of the killer withdrawals of benzos."

"Too bad there's nothing else for Catatonia." Root laments before squinting at the person opposite of her. "Um, Lauren? What going on with your eyelashes?"

"Oh… I got um, anxious and pulled on them." Lauren mindlessly adjusts her glasses. "I've got Trichotillomania, and it could have been worse. I do my eyelashes and sometimes my eyebrows, but those are short hairs. So, if I plucked them out, it'll go back to normal… soon enough. Some, like Alana, pull on her hair from her scalp and those take forever to even out."

Lauren nods to the woman at the controlled meal tables sitting at the opposite end of Su.

Root musingly hums. "Skin pulling craziness, huh?"

"Yup." Lauren blinks. "Didn't know you understand Latin."

"Just a bit." Root smiles. "I enjoy learning languages and understand the meaning of words."

"You mentioned understanding Japanese." Lauren nods with interest.

Root shrugs. "Had work to do there, and it's better than using a translator."

"You just like words because you can trip people with them." Roger gives her a skeptical look. "You drive the tech bonkers when you go all lawyers on them and gaming the system."

"Just happy little accidents." Root replies cheekily. "But gaming any system is my strongest skill."

00000

"You gotta quit playing word games, Robin." Roger says with tiredness, miring his voice. "You're always saying you're never angry, but in the same breath would say annoyed or irritated by someone or something. They're synonyms for angry. I know you know that and you're just being pedantic."

"Look who just opened up a thesaurus." Root shrugs. "My annoyance is not an uncontrolled anger."

"What you're describing is rage." Alex speaks up, bringing the group's attention towards him. "There's more to anger than rage."

"Expanding the definition of anger to encompass annoyance and irritation is basically blacklisting a vast spectrum of the human emotion." Root tries to explain to Alex as if he's 10. "People are allowed to be annoyed at things, and if you're going to class of all of that as anger. Then would you call this group… rage management?"

"Two things. One, the goal of this group is not to eliminate anger, but it is to learn how to manage it. Two, if we go with your definition of anger is constricted solely to rage, then we're never going to go anywhere, because I can attest that you don't do rage. At least, not at a regularity to be a problem."

"Rage is the one that makes y'all 'do stupid shit.'" Root glances around to the other patients around the room, and Su gives her a look of 'seriously?'. "The others do little. So, what's there to manage?"

"I want you to consider there's more to 'doing stupid shit' than getting physical with others or objects." Alex gives her a pointed look when he says the last part.

"Like skipping group to spite the group lead." Roger reminds her of Alex's ire for skipping the previous group session.

"I'm entitled to not spend time with people who intentionally push my button." She raises her nose up at Roger.

"You sure know all about pushing buttons." Andrew scowls at her. That man was practically burning with anger when he confronted her a day after his seclusion and only gotten angrier when she didn't give him the time of day.

"Yeah, and it hurt you more than Alex." Roger steers back to the conversation. "Plus, you got banged up by Andrew. Is that not 'doing stupid shit?'"

Had she not known better, she would have thought he's colluding with The Machine because she wasn't pleased either. Honestly, the only person who wasn't at all bothered with that fiasco was Su, even with The Machine constantly whispering into her ears and was more than happy to defer to Root's conclusion.

Alex raises his hands as if to calm the crowd. "Let's give Robin the benefit of the doubt for skipping the last session, but pushing Andrew's button was… unwise."

"The only thing I regret about the whole encounter was letting you know about it because you exploited it." She shoots Alex a stink-eye. "Had it been misplaced anger that drove me, I'm pretty sure I would have regretted it the entire time I was nursing the bruise, but I hadn't."

"Most of the time, we don't start regretting things we did until we're over the initial anger." Alex explains. "So long as we're angry, the things we did in anger will always seem like a good idea unless the consequences trump your anger."

"Right, but do I look like I'm angry at the moment?"

"Yes." Alex replies without a single doubt in his voice.

"What makes you think that?"

"Tell me if this sounds familiar. Sadistic and or ironic sense of humor, sarcasm, cynicism, flippancy, saccharine politeness, constant cheerfulness, smiling when upset, sighing, eye rolling, irritability, a 'grin and bear it' attitude…"

Root stares at him with a placid look on her as the hamster-wheel in her head turns. Obviously, it sounds familiar… She can feel her smile turning into a sneer as she finally says. "No clue what you're talking about."

"These are the symptoms and signs of something called hidden anger, and you have a lot of it." Alex replies. "The thing about hidden anger, it's hidden to the person themselves, either out of denial, repression, or it's been going on for so long that it's the baseline. While rage is easy to identify as you've pointed out, hidden anger is a constant state of being and it's there all the time. Nothing seems different about it, and you can't regret what you did because it's still there… it doesn't leave."

"So what? I'm Bruce Banner now?" Root replies sarcastically.

"The Hulk is more rage than that." Bill suddenly butting into the conversation.

"That's why I said Bruce and not The Hulk. As in, 'that's my secret, Cap. I'm always angry.'" Root smirks slightly. "Come on. Did no one here watch Avengers?"

"You didn't bring me." Su suddenly speaking up, much to everyone's surprise seeing that she barely adds to someone else's conversation.

Root crosses her arms. "You were the one who didn't want to."

"It's not a bad analogy." Alex reigns back at the conversation. "Not great, but not a horrible one. What I'm trying to say is that you're always irritated, then…"

"I'm not always irritated." Robin interrupts. "That'll be my dear old cousin."

"Seriously, Robin?" Alex sighs in frustration and totally ignores her redirection. Which is hypocritical of the man because he keeps on trying to get Su to open up about her own irritation problem with minimal success, and now he ignores the thrown bone.

"How about being resentful?" Root throws him another ball. For weeks on end, she's been trying to explain to The Machine why she loathes humanity and failing, but it made it all clearer. She resented all of humanity for being worthless, broken… painful. "I admit always being resentful. Good enough for today?"

"Yes, it is." Alex smiles triumphally. "That's a pretty big…"

"Make a thing out of it, and this stop." Root interrupts him.

"Fair." Alex backs off.

00000

"Stop being an asshole, Robin." Dana says firmly a few minutes into Trauma Recovery Group and catching Root off guard. Causing her to look at the group lead to see what exactly she had done. "I've had enough of your sighing and eye rolling. If you don't want to contribute to the group, that's up to you, but I won't stand by and watch you dragging it all down."

This… is an aggressive stance for her to take suddenly… even Su looks at the scene with raise brows. Did something change?

"I am contributing." Root replies. "But I'll admit I'm not fully aware of all this sighing and eye rolling you mentioned, and I'll be more vigilant to not offend someone by my eye movements."

Dana is giving her a deadass look. "In what conceivable way are you contributing?"

"I'm listening." Root deadpans. "Of which few here are doing."

"Everyone is listening when they're not speaking, Robin."

"No…" Root drawls out the word. "Some people look to be using that time to think of what they're going to say next. A bunch of people are playing 'trauma' Olympics, and the timid people are getting steamrolled four words into their turn."

Dana pauses as if she's assessing Root. "Alright, you've been listening. So, why don't you tell us what you've heard?"

"I've heard people belittling Bill's literal shell shock, which is fucked. He's the sole survivor of a mortar strike and every time he tries talking about it, people remind him it was a war that he signed up for, as if it makes it less horrid. I've heard Lilly describing her trauma in the most salacious way possible… like, are you purposefully making it lewder because sex sells, or are you trying to trigger others who've been assaulted the same way? I've heard Cindy making her mother's illness all about her, which goes hand in hand for making others in this group illness about her, and that happens every half an hour. I've heard Shannon ceaselessly lamenting her housekeeping duties, which tells me she's incredibly thinned-skinned or she's using dishes to skirt around talking about something way worse. I've heard Anna talk about basically nothing and everyone gobbled it up like its revelation." The more she spoke, the sourer Root's expression became.

"Alright, Robin, that's enough."

"And worst of all, I've heard absolutely nothing from Alana, Tina and Cody, because every time one of them tries to speak, someone else interrupts and they get drowned out." Root refuses to be interrupted until she finished what she wanted to say.

Glancing about at the result of her rant, she sees Cindy becoming increasingly hysterical as she desperately trying to pull focus from Shannon, who's having a panic attack… which wasn't the goal of her rant. She's annoying but isn't annoyingly enough. Bill looks appreciative that someone actually listened to his problems. Lilly looks like she's above it all, but Root knows it's only a façade. Roger looks at her like she just killed a dog, while Greg and Cody look like all they want to do is run away. Alana is pulling out her hair, and Tina looks concerned that all of this is her fault from some misplaced conclusions.

All the while, Su just gives her a raised brow that said 'come on' from being called out that she indeed has been shoving horseshit the entire time Root's been participating here. Because like Root, Su doesn't have trauma either, but the thinner woman didn't look interested in being an aggressor in any of their shared sessions.

"That was unnecessarily tactless, Robin." Dana chides her before sighing and passing a box of tissues to Shannon.

"What were you thinking?" Roger hisses at her.

"You said I need to be more honest, even if it's not pleasant." Root replies dryly.

"You're traumatizing the trauma recovery group." Roger looks at her dumbly.

"Tell that to Bill, Cody, Alana, and Tina. Lilly and Greg aren't doing any differently. This is par normal with Cindy, but I'll concede to your point on Shannon." She turns her focus across the circle where Cindy moved nearer to where Dana was trying to console Shannon. "For Christ's sake, Cindy, stop pulling the focus from Shannon."

"Don't use the lord's name in vain." Su mutters loudly to cut through the surrounding chaos.

"Like you care!" Shannon yells as she blows her nose.

"Not really." Root shrugs. "But I didn't mean to upset you that much. It's just you're not going to get better by deflecting housework. Cause it makes you sound whiny while you're hiding actual shit."

"Okay, Robin." Dana says firmly as she glances at her over the shoulder. "Your intention might be good, but you're not helping. Parentification is 'actual shit'. It's an extreme stressor, and it was asking too much from a nine-year-old. You were entitled to more nurturance than you were given."

"How is this helping?" Root mutters. "It's just reinforcing ideas of victimizing."

"The term is validation." Roger growls.

"Validation is for feelings, not facts." Root counters back, not knowing why Roger is being sensitive about this.

"I don't know why I even try. There's no changing you." Roger brings his hands up in defeat.

That's very presumptuous of him to think, and somehow the only person who's on her side of this dumb debate is Su, who's giving her a thumbs up… not sure if getting her approval is a good thing, though.

"Robin." Dana turns around as she stands up while keeping a hand on Shannon's shoulder. "I understand it can be hard to conceptualize this kind of trauma for people who haven't experienced it, but it's real. I need you to respect it and treat this as seriously as I do."

Dana is being firm with her words but isn't angry as she was with Root rolling her eyes.

This whole thing is nonsense, but if Dana wants to enable Shannon, that's her call. So, Root acquiesces with a nod.

"Now." Dana says softly, takes back her seat. "I appreciate your observations, Robin, and I hope to hear more of your input in the future, but with a touch more tact, grace, and compassion. I believe you really hurt Cindy and Shannon, so you will need to apologize."

Root blinks for a moment before letting out a breath softly. "Right, sorry Shannon… I pressed too hard. Everyone moves at their own pace… and I'll try to be more understanding in the future. Dana's right… it's hard to conceptualize, but it doesn't mean I shouldn't try."

Root had experience of it, but not everyone is her, and it's something she needs to keep in mind that not everyone is smart.

"And Cindy?" Dana prods her when Root didn't continue.

Root tilts her head. "What about her?"

"You're supposed to apologize to me!" Cindy explodes. "You triggered me, and you can't say things like that to me. I'm delicate, and I have problems, and I need support!"

"Being delicate is a far cry from what you are. You're just a selfish brat who needs to stop monopolizing the group." Root sneers.

"Robin." Dana warns.

"Fine. I'm sorry." Root grits her teeth before relaxing her jaw. She started off with a lie but slowly realizes that… "I am… actually sorry for bringing up your mom into this. That's a low blow, even for me."

"And?" Cindy demands.

"I won't do it again." Root finishes her sentence.

"And?" Cindy continues on as if she didn't hear Root.

Root gives Dana a look that practically says 'what the fuck is this' as she's lost as to what the bitch wants.

Dana proceeds to ask Cindy, which continues on to be insufferable and does not state what's needed to be apologized for. Even the quietest of patients in the group started to get annoyed by Cindy's obtuseness.

"When you're able to tell us, we can readdress the apology." Dana says quietly and measuredly to the blubbering Cindy before turning back to the group. "There are a few things I want to address. As blunt as Robin was, there were several points that bears consideration. Firstly, just as Robin shouldn't invalidate Shannon's experience, I don't want others to invalidate Bill's anymore. It was never blatant, and I didn't want to make it obvious in case Bill didn't notice, but now the horse is out of the barn. I just want to make it clear that it's not acceptable conduct here."

"Thank you." Bill says quietly to both Root and Dana.

"Secondly, there are people who tends to get talked over and I bet they have some important things to share with us. Alana, Tina, Cody, do any of you have anything to share? I will not let anyone interrupt you today."

"I… I guess I do?" Tina speaks up after the other two didn't. "Look… I don't know if you're trying to… like what Robin said, or why, but… it's hard… difficult for me when you're talking about rape like it's a porno. I… I know that's how you cope, and I don't want to mess it up for you, but it makes me nauseous b-because I don't want anyone to think about what happened to me like that."

"I'm sorry." Lilly says sarcastically. "I thought this is a safe place where we can talk about these topics without judgement or shame."

"Lilly, please don't interrupt and listen to what she has to say." Dana chides softly. "You can reply when Tina is done."

"I'm not judging." Tina defends herself timidly. "It's my own… problem, but I think you can say what you need to say without being so… erotica about it."

Lilly crosses her arms. "You just want to censor me, and you can't handle me being sex positive."

"Lilly, please wait your turn." Dana warns. "Now, Alana, do you have something to add or say something to Lilly?"

Alana is basically a wreck of a human. "I… I just… me too… what Tina said… me too."

Lilly raises her hands in frustration. "Prudes, you're all a bunch of prudes."

"You really calling me a prude?" Root asks calmly. "I meant what I said, it's unnecessarily salacious."

Lilly to reply to her and only send her a glare.

"Thank you." Tina turns to Root. "You know… I wish I was more like you… nothing bothers you or scares you or makes you sad and you don't get lonely." Tina turns to address the group. "I don't want to make it harder for anyone, but… sometimes… I just can't handle it. I'm scared of everything and triggered by so much, and I'm always hurting, and I wish I can just make it stop."

Those words… it pierces into Root like a bullet and rattles her right to the bones… Make it stop. It resonates so deeply in her, that weak, needy part of her brain that she hates. Make it stop. Those words, ones she hadn't muttered in so long, escaped her lips the other day when Alex pushed her to her limits.

Make it stop.

It's a hair's breadth away from her uttering the inconceivable words that can pass through her lips… help me. It's bad enough that she needing to rely on The Machine… she can't start accepting help from humans too.

"I used to be smart." Tina continues. "I used to do things, I used to be a reliable person. My little sister used to look up to me… but since… ever since it happened, I kept on getting worse. Every day, I'm just being more of a burden to everyone, and I wished he would have just ended it when he could have. It would have made it better for everyone."

"Bullshit." Root snaps harshly.

"What?" Tina yells as her eyes are moist with tears.

"Robin! We're not interrupting." Dana tries to intervene.

"It wouldn't have been better for anyone, because you have people that care for you, Tina." Root stares intently at the timid woman, and Dana stops just as she's about to get up from her seat. "I can't tell you to not feel that it's better for you if you did, but don't you dare say it's better for anyone else. I guarantee you that your parents, friends and the people who care about you are grateful that he didn't kill you."

Tina shakes her head violently. "You don't know that. You're not them."

"No, I'm not. Look here, I'm sitting here, your family isn't, your friends aren't, because you're sitting there, alive. This," Root gestures vaguely at herself, "is what happens to those are left behind when he just kills you."

Root purposefully ignores the pointed look Su is giving her as she focuses on Tina, who looks just about to say something. "Don't. This isn't about me. The point is, it's infinitely preferable to take care of someone who's been hurt than to lose them entirely. Whenever you think people are having trouble from you being alive… it can't be worse than the trouble of losing you would be."

"Everyone who's glad that Tina is alive, raise your hand." Danna gently takes over.

Root's hand is the first to go up, with Roger, Greg, Shannon going up as fast as hers, Alana, Bill, and Cody trails behind, not out of the lack of enthusiasm, rather from the lack of self-confidence. Cindy was still stewing with her arms crossed and her gaze on her knees, apparently no longer participating in the group. The only one with the cognitive sense that didn't put up their hands is Su… who is just staring at her as if she's a ghost or something.

"You're just saying that because this is group." Tina says quietly as she downcast her eyes to the floor. "You're just being nice."

"That's an insult to our friendship." Roger replies dourly, and Root can see he's reigning in his anger.

"And I don't know about the others, but I don't do nice." Root smiles.

Guess this is a way to break the news of her friendship with the compliance gang to Su and by the multitude of expressions on her face, it looks like she didn't really like this development.

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A/N: The next chapter should be the last chapter before the interlude that'll mark the midpoint of this arc and a time jump towards the later half of the stay in the hospital.