AN: Hello all- so I know I said that I wasn't going to post very often, but I just got so excited to post again! So here it is!
July, 1914
"Is there anything else Mi'lady?" Anna asked as she tied off Mary's braid.
"No, Anna, thank you." Mary stood, and pulled on her soft blue robe. Anna nodded, and hesitated for just a moment at the door. "What is it Anna?"
"Mr. Carson told us not to tell you, Mi'lady, but I feel I must. Mr. Crawley is downstairs in the library with your father, discussing something. He has been for some time, and no one is quite sure when he will leave." Anna said. "He may have left already."
"Oh. Yes. Well, Thank you Anna." Mary stammered, and dismissed her with a nod of her head. She began pacing, logically she knew that she should wait until the next morning, get dressed nicely, and go to Crawley house. But she had spent six hours crying, she was tired, and she wasn't about to spend the rest of the night crying if she could resolve it now. Or at least begin to set it right. She tugged her robe closed, tied it, pulled on her slippers, and quietly slipped out into the hall. She walked silently down the steps to the library, and leaned carefully against the door.
"Robert, you cannot change my mind on this, I am going." She would recognize Matthew's voice anywhere.
"Matthew, please, you've got to consider how this news makes me feel! If you leave now, you're leaving Downton without an heir!" Robert shouted. Mary froze, her breath hitched in her throat. Leaving? Where was he going?
"I know that this isn't ideal, Robert, really I do. But you must know that I've got to do this! I am not the type of man to let others fight my battles for me!" Matthew cried. "There is nothing you can do to stop me from enlisting!" Mary stifled her gasp, and backed away from the door into the shadows as her father's voice grew nearer to the door.
"No, no, I suppose there isn't- I cannot continue this conversation any longer, Matthew. You can show yourself out, I've sent Carson to bed." Her father shouted as he left the library and slammed the door. He stormed off towards the stairs, and Mary tip toed quietly to the door, and pushed it open.
"You're enlisting?" Mary asked, and Matthew started.
"Mary?" He turned to face her, and he noticed the way she was dressed. He swallowed, and stared at her dumbfounded. She looked absolutely enticing...her hair fell over her shoulder in a beautiful mahogany braid, her trim figure and soft curves were so highlighted…
"How could you do that to me Matthew, to the family, to us?" She hissed, wringing her hands in front of her. "And your mother, the people who love you- Matthew, how can you?"
"You seem to care quite a lot for someone who threw me over." Matthew said, with dry humor.
"Oh Matthew- you can't honestly think that, can't honestly believe…" Mary stammered.
"What am I supposed to think, Mary? You're all set to marry me when I'm a future Lord, but when you might have a younger brother, you put me off?" Matthew huffed. He stood, and faced her, his hands trembling.
"That wasn't why I couldn't answer you! Gah, Matthew, I wish, I wish I could explain this to you, but I can't!" Mary huffed, and pulled her fingers through her hair, effectively pulling out her braid.
"Why can't you? Mary, this should be easy! If you loved me, you'd marry me, if you don't, then fine, you don't! So which is it Mary?" Matthew asked, quickly closing the distance between the two of them. Mary gasped, and instantly felt his closeness. He was intoxicating.
"Matthew, you must know that for people like me, it is never easy." She whispered. "There are always a thousand things we have to consider. A thousand things we must weigh. It never had anything to do with how I felt about you. If it was only about how much I loved you-"
"I'm leaving tomorrow morning, to go enlist, Mary. Nothing anyone can say will change that." Matthew explained.
"Are you scared?" She asked after a moment of silence, inching closer to him.
"I suppose I am. I don't know. It isn't really...real, yet.
"I know. You have your principals, and I admire you for them. Matthew, I am sorry. More sorry than you could ever know." Mary sighed. "But you don't have to leave on my account, Matthew, really, If anyone should leave, It should be me."
"You'd leave Downton for me?" Matthew asked. Mary nodded. "Why?"
"How can you not know?!" Mary gasped, and tossed her hands in the air. She thought for a moment, and then suddenly closed the distance between the two of them, and pressed her lips against his. He kissed her back automatically, but then froze and pushed her back to look at her face.
"Mary?" He asked, but she pressed her fingers to his lips.
"Don't talk. Don't think. Just kiss me." Mary said, and he didn't have to be asked twice. His lips were soft, and had that taste that was so utterly Matthew it made her head spin. And his tongue was so soft against her lip…
"Mary, beautiful Mary, why…" He asked as they pulled apart for air.
"Matthew...I…" Mary stammered. She was so in l madly in love with him, that words seemed to fail her. "Matthew…"
"Mary, I want you." He said, and then winced at his own words. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that."
"Oh Matthew…" She sighed, and felt heat creep into her face. She knew exactly what he meant, she knew exactly how he felt- she had felt it against her stomach. And she wanted him too, more than she could even comprehend. "Come with me."
"Where are we going?" He asked.
"My bedroom." Mary said confidently.
"Mary- we couldn't." Matthew stammered. "If it were something you would regret..."
"Regret it? With you? Never darling." Mary said surely, shushed him, and pulled him out the door. This time he didn't resist.