AN: Hello my lovelies! I have another chapter for you! Yes, Mary is nearly home, but I'm afraid that the anticipated event will not happen until the next chapter! Thank you for reading! XOXO
Summer 1918
Mary adjusted her sleeping son on her lap, and stared out the window as the English county rolled by. She had missed it so much. This was her home, and being there felt right, even if she was only on the train to Downton. But oh, how soon she'd be there.
She looked down at her son, who had exhausted himself with all the excitement. He had pointed to everything, and raced about in circles for nearly an hour before he had finally succumbed to sleep. His round face was so innocent, so peaceful. Just by looking at him, you never would have guessed that he was a bastard child, whose life had just been turned upside down. She'd doubt that the child himself had any idea. And if she had any say in it, it would stay that way.
Matthew could hate her, could yell, could refuse to speak to her, or even look at her. But she didn't believe that, regardless of how he felt about her, he could ever be cruel to her son- their son. No, she wouldn't allow that. If he would allow himself, he would be the best father, the kind of father that Charlie deserved to have.
….
"Lady Mary." Tom said, not blinking an eye as Mary stepped off of the train holding the hand of a small blonde boy. "If I may say so, it is good to see you looking so well."
"Hello Branson." Mary smiled.
"I'll get your bags, My lady. If you'd like to wait in the car." Tom suggested.
"Who that?" Charlie asked, tugging on his mother's skirt. Mary opened her mouth to speak, but Tom beat her to it.
"Thomas Branson, at your service, young Mister Crawley." He said, and Charlie immediately grinned.
"Me, Charlie." Charles said, as he pointed to his chest.
"Yes, that's right Charles, my love." Mary grinned and scooped up the boy. "We're going to go for a ride in the-"
"Mary!" Sybil called. Mary looked about until she saw her youngest sister's head bobbing above the crowd.
"She wanted to surprise you in the auto- I suppose she became impatient." Tom laughed, and went to fetch the Lady Mary's bags. Sybil broke through the crowd, and ran to her sister.
"Oh Mary! I'm so happy to see you!" Sybil said, tears coming to her eyes. She took her sisters free hand, and looked to the shy boy her sister was holding. "And this must be Charlie."
"Who's you?" Charlie asked.
"Charlie, this is your Aunt Sybil." Mary said gently, her voice was thick with emotion as she held tightly to her sister's hand.
"An Sybil?" Charlie asked, narrowing his blue eyes at her.
"Yes my love, Mama's sister, Aunt Sybil." Mary nodded.
"I've been so excited to finally meet you Charlie. I've heard so much about you." Sybil said. "And you're such a handsome little man." That was all it took for Charlie to reach out his arms to her. Sybil grinned and took him in her arms for the first time, and tears spilled from the corners of her eyes.
"An Sybil sad?" He asked, squeezing her cheeks.
"No, no my dear Charlie. Happy, Aunt Sybil is very, very happy!" Sybil assured him. She pressed a kiss to his golden curls. Mary put a hand to her lips to stifle the sob that built up in her chest at the sight of her son in the arms of her beloved sister. "Come now Mary, let's get to the car so we can get you home." Home. The word rung warmly throughout Mary's entire being. Yes, she was home, for the first time in ages, she was home.
"Tell me, Sybbie, where is everyone?" Mary asked.
"Mama and Papa are with Granny for luncheon, and she plans to keep them there for a while. Edith and Isobel are working at Downton." Sybil said, and then continued slowly. "And Matthew is in the library, the private section of the library. He has no idea you're coming."
"I suppose it's better that way. If he were to hear...Well, we didn't part on the best of terms, you see." Mary sighed. "Will you keep Charlie occupied out on the grounds? Far from the windows of the library of course."
"Of course. I'd love to show Charlie all over the grounds! Oh, would you like to see the stables, Charlie? The ponies?" Sybil asked.
"Ponies!" Charlie clapped.
"Yes, my dear boy, ponies! Just like you wanted to see. Aunt Sybil is going to take you to see them!" Mary said, and scooped the boy onto her knees. Out of the back window of the auto, she saw Tom and Anna approaching with their bags and trunks. Her heart beat accelerated, and she bit her lip. "We're going home."
...October 1914...
Mary found that she couldn't quite hold her cup of tea steady as she sat under her grandmother's watchful gaze. She knew that she had to tell her, for who else could help her as well as Granny?
"You seem nervous, my dear." Violet observed, and set her china cup down. "Why is that?"
"Oh, well, Granny, you see… I, uh-"
"Is it that you're here to admit that you're pregnant?" Violet asked, and the tea cup fell out of Mary's hands. "Oh dear, now we've made a mess, haven't we?"
"Granny- how did you- you- I didn't even-"
"You've been excessively tired, taking more and more meals in your room, you've always been a thin little thing, and now your waist is a bit thicker, your bust is grown. I've suspected it for weeks." Violet said. "And you're only coming to me now."
"I only found out two days ago!" Mary gasped, and buried her face in her hands. Violet nodded, and ran her hands over her hair.
"And why are you coming to me now?" Violet asked.
"Isn't it obvious, Granny? I can't stay here at Downton- I've got to find somewhere safe to go!" Mary insisted as she dabbed at the tea that had spilled on her skirt.
"Yes, yes. Who is the father?" Violet asked. Mary choked on nothing, and looked at the floor.
"I'd rather not say." Mary said.
"It's Matthew, isn't it?" Violet asked. Mary stayed silent, and Violet nodded. "I suspected as much. Now, tell me, Mary, why you want to run? Why not stay here, and confess to him?"
"And force him to marry me against his will? No, Granny, I can't do that. I absolutely refuse." Mary insisted. "So I must go, before it becomes...obvious, to everyone. Not just you."
"But Mary, surely you must see that this could work to your advantage- to get everything you've ever wanted. The house, becoming a countess, and Matthew, I've seen the way you look at Matthew. If he cared enough about you to-"
"Granny, please. Don't make this more difficult than it already is! I've made my choice, now will you help me or not?" Mary begged.
"Of course I will, Mary, But I can't understand why you'd run away when you've got the chance to have a husband, to have a family." Violet sighed.
"Granny, my mind is made up." Mary insisted.
"Alright. Well, Mary, I think the best solution, aside from just admitting it to Matthew, would be to go to New York, with your Grandmother Levinson." Violet said. "It'll be far enough that you wouldn't bump into anyone you know, your mother would support living with her family, and after things didn't work out with Matthew, the family would understand you wanting to leave. Even though it still could work out with Matthew-"
"Granny please!" Mary sighed, and buried her face in her hands. "Please. Granny. The only other person who knows about this is Anna, and I'd like to keep it as close to that as possible."
"Of course we'll have to tell your Grandmother Levinson, But other than that, I think we'll manage to keep it between us." Violet nodded. "But what's your plan for the long term, Mary darling? Will you birth the child and then return without it?'' Mary pressed her lips together and thought. She hadn't really thought it through. She had only known that she had to have Matthew's child without ruining his life. But to have the child, and leave it… her heart constricted painfully in her chest.
"No. I'm going to raise it." Mary said.
"Without a father?" Violet sputtered.
"Why couldn't I be a war widow, relocating in America?" Mary asked.
"So you'd abandon the family?"
"No- not forever. Just until Matthew is settled and happy with a wife." Mary said, each word stabbing her in the chest. "It will be for the best, I'm sure. I'm sure I can find myself some wealthy American husband who wants to marry a somewhat wealthy English widow."
"And you think you could return here again, with a husband, and a child who looks nothing like him?" Violet asked.
"Perhaps not, perhaps I must live in America forever. But I must raise my child as my own, Granny. Even if it means giving up everything."
"A foolish choice, Mary, when you could have everything here. But I cannot help but respect you for it." Violet said. "I'll do everything I can to help you."
"Oh Granny!" Mary cried, and threw her arms around her beloved grandmother.
"Now now, don't make a fuss, Mary." Violet sniffed, but she wrapped her own arms, as frail as they were, around her granddaughter, and held tightly to her, for she didn't know when she would get the chance to again.