AN: And because it took so much time to post another chapter, I'm gonna post another one!

Summer 1918

"Mary! Oh Mary!" Edith cried as she threw her arms around her older sister. "You're here! You're truly here!"

"Yes, I am." Mary laughed, and embraced her sister just as tightly.

"Where is he? Where's Charles?" Edith whispered. Mary looked around frantically, afraid that Edith might have been heard.

"With Sybil in the stables. He wanted to see the ponies." Mary explained.

"Well, may I find him?" Edith asked.

"Yes, of course. Where's...Matthew?" As she spoke her mouth became dry, and she felt anxious tears prickle in the corners of her eyes.

"The family section of the library, alone." Edith said. "Good luck." she added, without trace of irony. She kissed her sister's cheek, and waved her forward before walking towards the front door, and ultimately to the stables. Mary straightened up, and adjusted her blue travel skirt. It was now, or never. She checked her handbag for the thousandth time, and found the packet of letters she had composed to Matthew over the years, but had always stopped before sending. She took only a moment to stare at all of the beauty that was Downton, and then turned to the task at hand. After these years, she was a bit shocked that she recalled exactly the way to the library- the house seemed much smaller than she had remembered it.

He was reading. His blonde hair was mussed in that way that only his hair could be- well, his hair, and Charlie's. He was thinner than the last time she had seen him, and his face showed faint signs of bruising, but he was as handsome as he had been the first time she had laid eyes on him. Yes, for a moment she only stared.

"What are you reading?" She asked, so quietly she almost thought he wouldn't hear.

"Just a book on agriculture, nothing you'd be interested in, Mary." He said casually, but then his head snapped up and the book slipped from his fingers. "Mary?!"

"Hello Matthew." She said, and approached.

"Mary! When did you- what are you- Mary." He said, and wheeled himself towards her. She closed the distance between them, and sat on a chair that had too conveniently been placed almost in the center of the room.

"It's good to see you, too." Mary laughed. They sat, only staring at each other's faces, struck speechless. He looked into her soulful brown eyes, and observed every inch of her. He noticed that her body had grown a bit fuller- not to say that she had grown heavy, no, she was still very slight. But she had filled out some. Her face was just as beautiful as it had been four years ago, but to his eyes, eyes that had long been deprived of the sight of her, she appeared to be even more beautiful than ever. "I didn't think I'd ever see you again."

"I- Mary. It is good to see you." Matthew said.

"Yes. After all this time." Mary nodded and swallowed nervously. She didn't know how she could begin to explain to him all that she had to.

"You haven't changed a bit, Mary. You're still so, so beautiful." He said. Mary smiled and stared at her hands.

"You know I-" They both began at once, and for the first time in four years they shared a laugh.

"I heard you had broken off your engagement." Mary said. Matthew frowned, and took another moment to look at Mary. She wore no ring on her finger, and he had never heard about her becoming engaged, never heard of her marriage. Then what had happened to this mysterious "him" she had dreamed of? "Matthew?"

"Oh- Um, yes. I did. It hardly seemed...appropriate to maintain such a relationship, in light of the circumstances." Matthew said. Mary nodded and patted down her hair. "And what about you? These years haven't found you with a husband?"

"No. Not a husband." Just a son. She thought. "But if the girl wanted to stay with you, why force her to go away?"

"Really, Mary? Four years without speaking a word to each other, and the first thing you want to discuss is my former fiancee that you never met?" Matthew asked. Mary laughed.

"I don't know. It wasn't my choice not to speak for four years." Mary said.

"Then why go to New York?"

"Why write me that letter?" Mary countered, and winced. Matthew frowned and looked down at his hands, which rested on his worthless knees. "You said you wouldn't contact me again. I figured there wasn't any use in trying, that you would write me when- if you came around."

"I didn't want you to feel trapped by me." Matthew huffed.

"Why would I have felt trapped? When we did what we did, Matthew, it was of our own free will. If I wasn't so madly in love with you then, I wouldn't have done it." Mary said, not realizing that for the first time she had actually stated aloud her feelings for Matthew. "You're the one who felt trapped, obviously. Why else would you have written that letter?"

"I don't want to fight over things that are in our past!" Matthew exclaimed, rubbing his temples. He wanted to bring up what she had said in her sleep, ask her who she had been dreaming of, but he couldn't bear to do so. "What matters is that you are here now, and we can be friends again."

"Friends." Mary said with a wavering voice. How was she supposed to do this? How could any one go about this? Why hadn't she stayed where it was safe in New York?

"I loved you, so madly then, Mary." Matthew said softly. "And that memory kept me going during many dark times."

"I loved you, Matthew. And I wish I had told you then." Mary said. Matthew looked taken aback, but composed himself quite quickly.

"I do too. What might have been, if we hadn't been so stubborn and foolish." Matthew laughed. "Perhaps we would have been married, and could have had three children by now, and secured the succession before this...Happened." He said, gesturing to his chair. "But what's done is done." Mary bit her lip.

"I've thought about you so many times, since I saw you last." She finally said.

"I've thought of you, every single day." Matthew said, and they fell into an easy conversation of their lives, avoiding only two topics. Lavinia, and Charles. They spoke for what felt like an eternity, but couldn't have been longer than twenty minutes. They could have gone on like that forever, dancing around the hard subjects, if fate hadn't intervened.

"Mama!" Mary froze as she heard the bubbling voice from the doorway. "Mama! An Syb say I not can see you!" Mary whipped her head to look at Matthew, who looked shocked, but not mortified. But there was an easy explanation for that- he couldn't see the doorway past the chair she was sitting in. And she had to keep it that way.

"Well, here I am, my Prince. Now, let's go back to Aunt Sybil!" Mary chirped, and rose from the chair to usher him out.

"I saw'd ponies, Mama!" Charlie giggled, and raced towards his mother's knees. It was only then that he noticed the man sitting in the strange chair with wheels. The two stared at each other, with exactly the same look of wonderment on their face, like a mirror that showed the past and the future. "Who you?"

"That's Mama's friend, Matthew. Now, come on darling, let's go find Aunt Sybil-"

"What's your name, little chap?" Matthew asked, not taking his eyes off of the boy.

"Me Charlie Reniald Claly." The little boy said with the utmost dignity.

"And I'm Matthew Crawley, pleased to meet you. How old are you, Charlie?" Matthew asked. Mary closed her eyes and pursed her lips.

"Three!" Charlie said, and waited for the applause his mother usually gave him when he answered that question correctly. When he didn't get it, he tugged on her skirt, and Mary finally scooped him up and placed a kiss on his hair.

"Yes, three." She said, and looked beyond him to Matthew. His blue eyes were full of moisture, and he wore a look that she had never seen on his face before. He was filled with rage, wonder, and betrayal as he looked between the boy, and at her.

"Charlie! Oh no! Mary, I'm sorry, he ran off- he got lost, I couldn't find him-"

"Take him and go, please." Mary insisted, and handed the boy to her sister.

"Mama?" Charlie cried, and Mary quickly patted his hair to sooth him.

"It's alright my dear. Sybil, he likes milk, perhaps there's some milk for him in the kitchen?" Mary suggested urgently.

"Oh- Oh, yes of course? Would you like milk Charlie?" Sybil asked, and the boy nodded tearfully. "I'm so sorry." Sybil mouthed over her shoulder as she walked away, and Mary closed the door tightly, something she hadn't done when she first came in the room.

"Mary?" Matthew said, his voice hoarse. She turned slowly to face him, and met his burning blue eyes. "Is he...I mean, he is, isn't he?" Mary found that she couldn't move, couldn't even breath. "Damn it Mary, is that boy my son?!" Mary jumped when she heard him yell so harshly.

"Yes." She breathed, and stared at the ceiling.

"Damn it Mary!" He cried, and with an angry sweep of his hand he knocked a vase from the table beside him. Mary started towards him, and then froze again when she saw the look in his eye. "Why didn't you tell me? How could you keep this from me- keep him from me?!"

"I-Matthew, I…"

"It's been four years, since that night Mary, four years, and you couldn't be bothered to tell me that I had a son?!" Matthew spat. "How could you do this to me- you say you loved me, but to do this to me-"

"I did it because I loved you!" Mary screamed back. "Don't you see that? You said in the letter that you wouldn't speak to me again- I thought you hated me! If I would have told you then, you would have felt obligated to marry me-"

"You're damn right I would have!" Matthew snorted, and buried his face in his hands. "Mary- how could you?"

"I didn't want to trap you." Mary said. "I didn't want you to look at me every day with resentment and regret in your eyes, I didn't want you to look at our child that way-"

"How could you think I would do that?" Matthew asked, his head snapping up. "Do you have any idea how much I loved you, Mary, how happy I would have been to hear that you were pregnant?!"

"How was I supposed to tell you, when you refused to speak to me?!" Mary hissed.

"How could I speak to you, when on the night that we slept together, you confessed your love for another man?!" Matthew asked, and Mary looked at him with wide eyes.

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh, don't play innocent, Mary. While you slept, you said "It meant nothing, so sorry, love you-"!" Matthew said, the words clutching at his heart that was beating too quickly. Mary's eyes grew wide, and she sunk to the floor and put her face in her hands.

"I was talking to you!" She cried after a moment of silence.

"What?!" Matthew asked. He felt like the words had been a physical blow.

"I dreamed I was apologizing to you, Matthew, apologizing for another indiscretion that had occurred, a full year before we had any sort of romantic involvement! I was telling you that it had meant nothing to me when Kemal Pamuk came to my bedroom, and manipulated his way into my bed, that I was so, so sorry that it had happened, and that I loved you, more than anything else in the entire world!" Mary said, and as she finished, tears started streaming down her face, and she wanted to rip out her own hair.

"I don't understand- you were a virgin, that night that we-"

"Yes, I was, but only because he died before he had the chance to complete our…" Mary trailed off, and wiped away her tears. "And I hated that it had happened, because how could I marry you without telling you about the man who had died in my bed? The man who had touched me in the way only a husband should?"

"Why couldn't you just tell me-"

"Why didn't you just wake me and ask me, Matthew? Why didn't you demand an explain action, instead of stealing off like a thief in the night, and throwing away everything we could have had because I talked in my sleep- did it even occur to you that it could have just been a dream?"

"Alright! So I made a mistake, but you could have told me, Mary!"

"A mistake? You threw away our chance of happiness over a dream, Matthew!"

"Why couldn't you have just told me? I would have understood! Mary I loved you, why couldn't you just tell me-"

"Because I didn't deserve you! I didn't deserve you then, and I don't deserve you now! But the fact remains that we had sex- and we made Charles." Mary said, composing herself the best she could. Matthew winced at the harshness of her words. "I didn't want to return and ruin your life, ruin whatever you had with that Lavinia, girl. But Granny and Sybil and Edith begged me-"

"Your grandmother knows? Your sisters knew? And I assume Anna knew, she is the one who went with you, after all. You could tell all of them, but you couldn't tell me?" Matthew asked, raw pain coloring his tone. "You kept my son from me for the first three years of his life."

"I was protecting him! And I'll never apologize for doing what I thought was best for him. But what's best for him now is to come here. You needed an heir, fine, you've got one." Mary snapped.

"He's my first born, he's always been my rightful heir-"

"But you didn't need him then- not when you could've had a dozen pretty babies with your new lover-"

"So you're only telling me about Charles now because I'm a pathetic impotent cripple? If I'd have come back from the war intact and had a half a dozen sons, you'd never have told me about him?! Was that your plan, Mary? Because it's a cruel one!"

"I don't have to explain myself to you!" Mary cried, and fished around in her hand bag for the stack of letters she had brought for him. "Whatever my intention was, whatever we have done wrong in the past, I am here now. Charlie is here now. And for the record, I always wanted to tell you. But I couldn't find the words." She sighed, and tossed the stack of letters on his lap. "He is your son, Matthew. And no matter how you feel about me, and my deception, you have a responsibility to him now." Was all she said before she slipped out of the room, leaving Matthew sitting stunned in his chair.

AN: Thanks for reading!