Chapter 41

Feel like home again

We did forgive all those who doubted us, several more came up to us after—asking a more personal forgiveness. We gave it to them, yet some still felt a great deal of shame. Nana then came up to us and looked us over. Seeing the dirt and filth on our corsets, pants, and tops. Neither Tauriel nor I were fans of dresses so I had adopted her clothing style more than she had mine. We did wear dresses, but only to official meetings and to greet guests from Arnor and the eastern elven realms.

"Are you both well?" was the first thing she said after looking us over reaching for us both and holding our hands firm.

"We are well Nana, just a little sore," I said before looking over at Tauriel.

"I am well too my lady, though Lord Glorfindel punches hard for an older elf," she said with a grin on her face. Holding the side of her head.

Nana looked at us before she turned towards the elven Lord, as angry as she was.

"Did you have to go so hard on them? You punched Tauriel so hard she lost consciousness!"

He turned towards her and bowed his head.

"I did, my lady. They are both warriors of quality and even if it did not look like so I had to do as I did. The questioning of their loyalty and place here could go on no longer!" He then moved over to us and nodded. "Forgive my harsh words and my attacks. I only did what I did to show our kin you are who you are deep down. Warriors of our people and their defenders."

We looked at him and his asking for forgiveness as well.

"There is nothing to forgive, you did what you had to and we needed it" I responded.

Tauriel grabbed his hand and smiled.

"It was wrong of us to hide and despair. You brought us back to the light. There is nothing to forgive friend." She said and bowed her head some to him.

He then came forth and hugged us both as he whispered. "I am proud of you both, and training starts at sunrise" pulling back with a grin before walking over to Ada and speaking to him.

Nana on the other hand still sent him looks before turning toward us and hinting at us to look towards the elven maid that stood with her family. Trying to keep a brave face. She had more she wanted to ask or say, but it seemed like she struggled.

Her children and husband bowed their heads as we moved towards her and so did she, but they left to the side to give us some privacy.

"You have more you wish to say? What is it Estelwen?" I asked looking at our former handmaiden

"Your face betrayed you, you cannot keep a secret from us," Tauriel said with a smile.

It made her blush, yet her face was still sad. It was when we noticed the ring on her finger and neckless with our heraldry on it. Even after we released her from our service she still wore it.

"My ladies" she bowed her head again. Her voice lacked the confidence it normally had with us. Her eyes stayed low and not looking at us directly.

"Estelwen," we both said with a sigh. Our eyes locked at the neckless. Her hand quickly covered it and held it like we were to take it from her.

"Speak openly," I said calmly with a little smile towards her, trying to make her relax.

"I know you both forgive the others and myself for my stupidity and weakness. But my ladies said naught of service to them. As far as I know, no servant or handmaiden has been given to you…" she stopped herself, swallowed, and continued. "If I may… I wish to ask to return to your service. If you want me. I will do all in my ability to make up for what I have done and serve my ladies faithfully." She tried to look up at our faces, but it was like something stopped her. If it was a fear deep down of the evil that had been in us had left something. I do not know, but my wife spoke softly.

"Estelwen… dear friend…" her arms reached out and held the heraldry necklace we had given her.

That was when I saw it in her eyes. The fear was not of what might be left in us, but the fear of us taking what she had left from her.

"Please, my lady, do not take it away… I know I have wronged you, but it was not out of malice or evil wish!" she said with tears returning to her eyes. She was a devoted servant of our house and had served my Nana for many years before me and my wife. She had been my teacher, friend, and helper for years beyond the idea of men, who could only see their short lives pass.

"Tauriel," I said in a firm tone and turned to Oswane as none needed to hear it. This made Estelwen seem even more defeated. Her hands shaking as she reached for her ring with the star of the House of Elrond, the knives and leaves of the woodland realm.

We both saw it and slowly reached for her hands holding them. "Nay, Estelwen, you will need those." We said in unison. Her eyes shot back up. Tears still covering her cheeks. "My ladies?" she said with a tone of disbelief.

"If you wish so and again feel like we have your trust we wish for you to return to our service as our handmaiden and friend." Her face started to smile and Tauriel continued. "We would love to have you back. Our room feels so sad without your smile, your cheeky behavior, and your utter control of our clothes, weapons, and jewelry." She said with a smile. Some parts were exaggerated, but deep down there was no falseness in her words.

The elf maid smiled and as if she forgot courtesy and position she hugged us both and smiled.

"I swear my ladies, I swear, to be the best handmaiden my ladies can have. To be loyal and faithful, to gain your trust in me back, and to earn the gift you both have given me!"

She did not need to swear on it and I knew my wife felt the same as I answered her.

"You already were the best Estelwen" and we hugged her yet again. "Now go, spend time with your family, and wear the clothes we gave you on your return tomorrow morning," I said as Nana and Ada called for me and Tauriel. "See you tomorrow," My wife said with a smile as we waved her goodbye for now. Estelwen bowed her head and walked over to her family and they hugged as well. Tauriel and I could only smile to ourselves and that is when we came to the side of Ada and Nana.

"My daughter. How do your wounds feel?" Ada asked in a worried tone.

"Sore, strained, but not too bad Ada" I responded. "The fight did not hurt me much at all"

His face was stoic and serious as always.

"I wish to examine them, see how they heal as you have been away from the valley and out of my care too long" His mood has not changed.

"Ada… Tauriel looked over them and I assure you I am well…" As I spoke he sighed.

"Tauriel is a good healer and I do not doubt her. I only wish to see for myself daughter. You both worry as much as of late and I wish to have a look at your head too Tauriel" he ended the comment with his face locked on her. "Come with me to the healing ward." He left no doubt in his words. It was a command and we followed him with Nana almost pushing us on.

The healing wing we arrived too was closed off from the rest of the staff and helpers. It was for the family to put it short. Ada made me sit at the table as Nana and Tauriel helped me out of the corset and shirt. Slowly I pulled it open and saw the marks after the arrows that hit me. They were dark and ugly on my pale elven skin. They stood out so much.

"Will they forever be like this Ada? Will I forever be tainted by them?" I asked with a worry in my voice. Tauriel put her hand on my shoulder for comfort and Nana's eyes were unable to look away.

He then came over and felt them. His hand pulled back some after a bit and then came back onto them. His hand felt warm, comforting, and safe. As Tauriel does. Just in a different way. I could in some ways see the dismay in my wife's face about it. But the moment she caught my eyes on her she smiled and brushed it off.

"It is better than when I started treating them," Ada said flatly. "But what poison they were lazed with I know not fully. It took you out cold for a long time my daughter." He said before he rested the hand on my wounds and started an elven chant, my chest felt like it was burning hotter and hotter. His free hand rested on my back as if pushing me into his hand on my chest.

Tauriel and Nana looked worried in their eyes as my breath stopped for a moment as the pain and heat grew in me. All I could do was to whimper and hold the pain back. Ada then saw and stopped his chanting and the pressure of his hands stopped. The hand that had been on my chest lifted my chin his eyes looking into mine.

"You are strong daughter. As the elven warriors of old. Few would live as you have after taking three Morgul arrows to the chest. The Valar looks over you and so do I and Nana." He made me look down and we all saw the dark spots of where the arrows had hit had yet again diminished. He smiled as he spoke and helped me cover up after. Nana and Tauriel helped me with my corset and Ada said 3-5 more treatments with his chant should be enough to remove the dark spots and help me cover what little might remain.

I bowed my head to him, I did not feel strong or at all like the warriors of old. Failed I had against the black captain and his servants. Even let them control me and my wife.

"I thank you for your words, Ada. But I am not so, I am but a shell of what you describe. The lord of Angmar has bested me more than once now I fear. He almost got our kin to discard me. What is next for our meeting?" I said with hurt and anger in my voice.

They all looked at me now. Worried, thoughtful, and had many other feelings I could tell.

"His time has not yet come and might not for many years. You said so yourself daughter. But you have foiled his plans many a time and that will make him doubt himself and his lord."

I felt a tear down my cheek for a moment before I looked back at him.

"Rhudaur has fallen. The few Dunedain we saved from there is but a drop in the sea. Cardolan has fallen. Few we managed to aid… Some fled to Arthedain as said. But it will fall too. The darkness of the north and east will come and we can do nothing to stop it." I said with despair in my voice.

Ada then came and knelt before me, holding my hands.

"We are not trying to be at victory daughter as you once said. We cannot change what you have seen too greatly or even defeat the lord of Angmar, for if we do. What then? Will what else you have seen go as you know? Will the plans change so much we know not what we face?"

The hurt I felt in my chest could not be described, It was not from the wounds of the arrows, but from the feeling of failing when I was needed the most. Tauriel and Nana came over as well and held me in comfort. I reached for my wife and held her tight to me, the best comfort I knew was her body and fea close to me. Saying much with our bodies yet little with words of speech. Song we could hear from outside. A lament of the fallen in the siege of Carn Dum. All those elves now resting in the halls of Mandos. Tauriel slowly let go and rested her head on mine, speaking soft words of comfort in Oswane that we had spent much time learning. For a moment it was calm until Ada put his hand on her shoulder.

"Tauriel, may I look you over as well?" He asked softly.

"My lord" She responded in ever obedient daughter-in-law fashion.

She let go of me and sat down beside me, Ada looking her over where Glorfindel's stroke had landed and her wounds from the siege. None were as deep or worrisome as mine. But Ada took no chances and gave her a proper look over as well.

"You heal well daughter in law" Ada then spoke and smiled. "But such rashness on the field of battle I wish not to see again. That Sindar temper of yours can get you hurt of worse!" He said commandingly.

"I know, my lord. But seeing Elwen hurt… my blood it took over" She tried to excuse herself.

"And if you had been gravely injured or worse? What would I then say to Celebrian or Elwen?" He spoke in a lordly tone.

"Forgive me," Tauriel said as it was a reaction. "But I wanted to avenge her deeply and I could not stop hurting those that hurt me." Her hand resting on my thigh.

"Be careful" Ada then said. "That is all we ask Tauriel. There are many enemies in this world a blade or arrow might not be able to take down." He said calmly.

"I will, my lord. If Elwen swears the same, if not for her rushing away from me I would have been at her side." She said in a tone I disliked, but I knew it came from love.

"You need to keep up with me my love!" I said in a teasing tone back.

"I do, I just make sure they are dead before I move on. What if the black captain had stayed to fight? You would have needed me!" She countered in a factual matter and she was not wrong.

"Now now." Ada and Nana said. "No arguing. You both need rest and food before the morning. Will you eat with us or shall we have it sent up?"

Tauriel gave me a look of mischief and I returned it.

"May we have it in our room? We are quite tired and miss our bed from the weeks away" I said.

"That sounds well my love" Tauriel added leaning her head on my shoulder as Nana and Ada looked at each other and smiled.

"We will have it done, now off with you two and we will see you in the morning," Nana said.

We bowed our heads and bid Nana and Ada goodbye for now. Walking back to our room passing the halls of the house and the servants we knew so well. Not that we stopped to talk or any of that. Our room was as when we left it. Just cleaned and prepared for our return. Tauriel went in before me and as soon as she heard the door shut she turned towards me and smiled. Her arms came around my neck and her lips found mine as we kissed. She did not stop and my arms went around her waist, holding her firmly and loving towards me.

"Tauriel" I whispered in one of the short breaks of our kissing and her eyes looked at me with love, care, and confidence. No response other than her slowly undoing her corset after the knife sheaths had dropped onto the floor. As if by instinct I moved over to aid her and her hands turned over to me. Dropping my gear onto the floor as garment after garment dropped.

That was when we stood there. Undressing each other as a firm knock was at the door. With a servant's voice appearing.

"My lady Elwen, My lady Tauriel. Food as sent for"

We gave each other a look and smiled.

"My ladies?" the servant tried again with a few knocks.

We tried not to giggle too loud, as the servant seemed to leave, and before I knew Tauriel was kissing me again, her hands over my skin, and before I knew we both hit our soft and comfortable bed.

The morning after I woke to my beautiful wife resting on me, sleeping with her beautiful eyes open. Playing with her red hair as I heard a soft noise from the bathroom.

"Good morning Estelwen," I said in a soft tone. Looking towards the semi-closed door.

"Good morning, my lady. Forgive my disturbance, I did not mean it." She said ever so carefully.

"Stop that, my friend," I said in a calm voice. "You are the greatest housemaid we could have and we will never be mad at you for making a noise. We care for you deeply and I cannot say how happy I am to see you in our heraldry again!"

She let out a sigh and smiled before she bowed her head to me.

"I am so happy to be back, my lady and to see you and Lady Tauriel again. Do you wish for me to send for food? I heard the servants last night had tried to deliver it, but I guess you were busy my lady?" Her face lit up and seemed more content than I had seen her in months.

"We were, my friend. Please excuse us to them." I said as Tauriel moved a little rubbing her body on mine.

"Think none of it my lady. Excuse me for a moment." She said and rushed out of the bedroom.

"Always my friend" I spoke lowly.

Tauriel moved more in her sleep after it and before I knew she had slid up on me, her head beside mine and her face resting into the pillow. Her warmth flowed over me as her head turned and spoke softly into my ear.

"My love." She said, before kissing it. "I love you so, I love our life here, how did I win the love of you I'll never know." Slowly she started kissing her way forward on my face. First ear again, then cheek by the ear, slowly kissing her way to my mouth. When her lips met mine and kissed her back, my hands holding her back and butt.

"As I love you" I responded after the kiss broke. "My silvan love, your fiery blood, your determination and your stubbornness. I love it all and will forever try and make myself worthy of it!" I said smiling as I looked down on her pale body, her breasts cuddling onto mine, her defined muscles and the many small scars she had gotten over many a long year fighting.

"Me stubborn? My love you are quite the stubborn princess yourself!" she said with a cheeky smile on her face as she lowered herself onto me, noses met and slow kisses were exchanged.

"Well, I was not before I met this elf, a while ago you see. Very stubborn, went her own ways, even went on moonlight walks by herself!" I grinned.

"Well, maybe she was told to do so?" Tauriel responded.

"By whom?" I asked

"I know not, but that night. It was like both wind and voice spoke to me. To leave the barracks your Ada had allowed us to rest in. A wind led my way towards where I found you as it brushed the bushes and trees on the pathway, and there I saw this elven princess, of beauty I have never seen before or since. The only my heart would be attached to for the rest of my long days under the sun and moon."

"Is that so? I also felt a need to go out early that night, like I could not sleep or rest in my room." I stopped myself from speaking and looked up at her. "Then whoever put us where we could meet and bond, I thank you," I said out loud, but nothing. Tauriel and I looked around the room and nothing happened. Until our door opened and Estelwen came in with a large tray of food and out of nowhere a gust pushed our balcony doors open and in from Nana's garden came a single red rose that landed beside us in bed. All three of us shook by it and did not move.

"My ladies?" Estelwen asked as she stood there with the tray and the wind died down. None of us heard any more of it that morning and it seemed its purpose was simply to give us a rose.

"Yes?" We responded after a bit.

"What was it?" she asked. Her eyes were wide and Tauriel slid off me.

"We know not" Tauriel responded as she pulled the sheets up to cover herself some.

"We only spoke of the night we met and it happened as you walked in," I said.

We all looked around a bit more as I reached for the rose and saw it cut if by a knife.

"A beautiful flower to a beautiful elf," I said and handed it to Tauriel, Estelwen looked at us and smiled as she came over with the tray and sat it in our laps. Tauriel blushed so hard on both cheeks and ears when I said it and Estelwen followed up with. "Yes, your mate is sweet my lady, not both eat. You will need it!" she said in a serious tone.

Both of us looked at her wondering.

"I met Lord Glorfindel in the hall, he asked me to remind you both of the morning training session you had agreed to?" Both of us remembered and looked at each other and the food. There was a lot of it, both bread, cheeses, meat, grapes, apples, juice, milk, and water. Estelwen had not been withholding as she asked the chefs for it and it felt like a never-ending pile an amounts to what dwarves would eat and then she said it.

"Seems my ladies have lost weight on their time away, I do not like it and you both will eat all of it!" she said sternly like a Nana to us. We both grinned at her and she smiled back. "By the order of Lady Celebrian," she added to give it more weight. It would not surprise us if Nana had said so. After all, it was Nana.

We both started to dig in with bread, butter, cheese, and meat on as well as the grapes and apples, washed down with juice, milk, and some water. It did not take long or were as much as we feared. After all, we knew not when we last ate and when we put our cups down and our plates were empty Estelwen stood there ready to lead us into the bathroom. We both hurried after our handmaiden and washed our faces and bodies quickly before she helped us into our clothes. It was the same type as yesterday, just now added with handguards and legging guards. Our training blades were given to us as the one we used yesterday was supplied by the yard. Estelwen hurried up and got us ready and her hands shook no more as she tightened our belts for our training swords and the straps for our back knife sheaths.

Our braids were still well from yesterday and we did not redo them, after all we knew today would be a long day if the elven lord had his way and by the look on Estelwen he would.

"My lady Celebrain said she wishes to have lunch with you both and Glorfindel today, so I will see you all at the yard," Estelwen informed us and her arm rose to the door opening it. "Be well and good luck, my ladies!" she said with a smile as we bid her goodbye for now.

The house was very quiet still and we rushed through the halls as we knew we were late, but it was a morning we had enjoyed. Rushing out the door and down the hill we saw a lonely elf stand in the yard with a blade in his hand. As we came closer and opened the gate a grin came on his face.

"I see you had a nice evening." Both of us blushed.

"We did" Tauriel confirmed.

"That is well. Now prepare." He said raising his weapon as we both drew our swords.

"Always prepared!" I replied looking at my wife.

"Are you prepared old elf?" Tauriel responded with a grin on her face.