AN: Hello Beloved readers, I have a new chapter for you!

Recap: Mary and Matthew have adjusted rather well to their new marital arrangements, and the family at Downton is just in love with Charlie- except for Robert, who hasnt been able to accept any of it. After an argument with the family, Matthew and Mary agree to move to Manchester with Charlie. Isobel has a heart to heart with her son after finding the letter he'd once written to Mary, and points out the error of his ways. He apologizes profusely to her, and she tells him that they're even.

"Which one is that?" Mary asked when she walked up behind Matthew in the library and saw that he was reading one of the letters she had composed to him over the years.

"Charlie's just had his first temperature." Matthew said, glancing over his shoulder at her. "I can tell that you were frightened."

"Oh God, I certainly was! I don't know that I'd ever been so frightened- well, that's not true. I was scared to death when you enlisted...I waited to hear how you were doing, I hung on any insignificant detail my father could give from the letters you wrote him, even after I'd gone to New York, I made Edith swear she would telephone with news..." Mary sighed and took a seat in one of the overstuffed chairs. "But nothing can compare to the fear that my son, my last link to you, my everything...that he would take ill, that he wouldn't survive. Of course, I needn't have worried, he only had a mild fever. I think I was writing that after going a solid twenty four hours without sleeping." Matthew reached over and took her hand, pressing it to his lips in a tender show of reverence.

"You're the most extraordinary woman in the world, Mary."

"I'm not really darling Matthew, I'm just a mother. A mother who loves her son more than anything on earth." Mary said with a shrug. "Which is funny...I...I never really thought that I would be that sort of mother. I always thought that once I'd had a son, well, I'd pass him off to a nanny, see him once or twice a day- I certainly never thought I'd be the one to change his nappys, wake up at midnight to feed him, soothe his bad dreams...and I don't think I would have been this type of mother if it hadn't been your son. Sometimes, I would just… Never mind, it's silly."

"Then you must tell me." Matthew said.

"Well, I would imagine what It might be like if you were there with me. I knew that you would have been a very hands on father, you would have been right there in the thick of things, changing him, soothing him, spoiling him, loving him...And, as it was my choice to have him far away from you, from your mother...I had to make up for your absence by being both mother and father to him, loving him enough for the both of us." Mary sighed, and then gasped as he pulled her into his lap. "Matthew darling- what if someone were to walk in?"

"Then they shall see that I am the luckiest man in the world, to be loved by a woman like you." He tilted her chin, and kissed her deeply before pulling back and resting his forehead against hers. "Where is Charlie?"

"Right, oh, I left him with with Mama and came to find you. We promised him we would got to see the ponies together this afternoon, and he's very serious about holding us to that." Mary laughed. She stood, and took her usual place behind his chair so that she could push him. "I think, darling, that I shall very soon have muscles to rival any circus strong man."

"I am capable of wheeling myself, you know."

"I know. But I rather like it." Mary smirked. "Spending time with you that is. We have nearly four years worth of conversation to catch up on you know."

They chatted again, about this and that as she pushed his chair out the door to the place she had left their son with her mother on a blanket, exploring the wonders of the grass and the late summer flowers. She stopped cold when their son came into view, and put her hands on Matthew's shoulders. Across the vast yard, Charlie was gently petting Isis, and her father was kneeling at his side, with Cora standing just behind them both. Mary and Matthew looked at each other, and approached warily.

"Yes, very good Charles, gently now, you don't want to hurt her." Robert said, laughing a bit as his grandson stroked the dog.

"She good." The boy nodded, his chubby face breaking into a wonderful smile. "Like her."

"She's a fine dog indeed Charles." Robert said. He was staring at the boy as if he had never seen him before, and perhaps he really hadn't. He had spent so much of his time avoiding the boy, being furious about the way he had entered into the world, that he had never taken even a moment's time to really look at him. At first glance he was the very image of Matthew, Complete with golden hair and blue eyes, but upon further interaction, the boy was clearly Mary's son, with many of the same traits and mannerisms she had had when she had been only a small child. Robert could easily recall how much he had loved her then, how easy it had been to love her when he'd still had every hope that a boy would follow. She had always been incredibly smart, incredibly kind, incredibly loving; but somewhere along the line, his appreciation of her had waned, and he began to say things like "If only she had been born a male, what a fine Earl she would have made." and ceased saying things like "My dear Mary is such a good, clever girl.". He frowned.

"Gra'pa mad?" Charles asked, quickly ducking behind Cora's skirts. Robert's heart ached- was this how the boy- his own grandchild, his flesh and blood, saw him?

"No, no my dear boy!" Cora cooed, and lifted him into her arms. "Robert, darling, please tell him you're not angry." Robert sighed, and stood up to face him. He found that he was quite unsure how to handle himself in the boy's presence, but then thought that was ridiculous. He was an Earl, for goodness sake!

"I'm not angry, Charles." Robert said, and the boy nodded warily.

"Me Charlie." He said, pointing to his chest.

"Very well then, Charlie." No sooner had he said it than the boy began to laugh and clap, and then extend his arms to his grandfather.

"Go on darling, hold your grandson!" Cora laughed, and passed the boy to her husband before he could protest. Charlie wrapped his arms around his neck, and hugged him close.

"'S good! I like gra'pa!" He declared, and Robert felt tears prickle in the corners of his eyes.

"I rather like you too, Charlie." He said, and kissed the side of his face tenderly. From behind him, he heard a sharp intake of breath, followed by a stifled sob. He turned to see Mary and Matthew, now quite near to them. Matthew wore a slight smile on his face as he held the hand that Mary wasn't pressing to her lips.

"Mama! Papa! Look- good dog!" Charlie called. He wiggled until Robert set him on his feet, and he ran to grab his mother's hand and drag her to the dog. "Good dog- Woof!" Mary laughed happily, and brushed the tears from her eyes as quickly as she could, hoping her son wouldn't notice them.

"Yes, what a good dog indeed!" she agreed, then scooped him up in her arms and kissed his face all over until he was laughing and kissing her face too. "Yes, yes my darling, woof! That's exactly the sound that a dog makes! Oh, you're so clever my darling, darling Charlie!"

"I'd best be off then. I've business to attend to in the village. Good day then." Robert said suddenly and was gone. Cora looked after him, slack jawed for a moment, but composed herself, kissed her daughter's cheek, and marched after her husband.

"Now, my dear boy, shall we go see the ponies?" Mary asked.

"Yes! Yes, yes, yes!" He clapped.

"Very good! Now, what sound does a pony make?" Mary asked, and Charlie's face scrunched up in thought. Mary handed him to Matthew, and continued to push his chair. "Perhaps Papa can help you to remember, if you ask him very kindly."

"Papa, help, please?" Charlie asked, putting his hands on either side of his father's face. Matthew grinned, and gave his very best whinny, which his son promptly began to imitate over, and over again.

….

"You know, I feel that, though I've been home over a month now, I've scarcely seen you at all dear." Mary said as she poured Sybil a cup of tea during her break. "I know you're quite busy with the soldiers, and when you aren't I know you're quite busy getting to know your nephew, and I'm very glad of it, but I do miss talking to you."

"Well, I've got a little while now. Let's chat! Oh, let's go to your room, it's so much closer than mine!" Sybil said excitedly. She drank her tea entirely too quickly, and grabbed her sister's hand, dragging her to her bedroom quickly. She collapsed on the bed, and patted the space beside her. Mary laughed, and sat down with her, albeit, much more gracefully than Sybil had sat herself. "Now, tell me everything! Yes, absolutely everything!"

"Goodness, where to begin?" Mary laughed.

"Well, begin with how things are faring with Matthew, of course! I've always known that the two of you were meant for eachother, and now that you're together, well, how is it?" Sybil asked, taking her sister's hand.

"Honestly? It's wonderful. I mean, for so long, I thought I'd never see him again, but now, we're married. We have a son, we're raising him together; I get to spend each day, and each night with him." Mary smiled. "He's the best father, and the best husband."

"I've never seen you look so happy, Mary. You've got a light in your eye that I've not seen in ages." Sybil said dreamily. "Marriage. What a strange thought."

"Not so strange, really." Mary said. "My only regret is that we didn't marry sooner- actually, that's one of two. The other is that I didn't tell him about Charles when I first found out I was pregnant, but one is quite related to the other, you see."

"I hadn't even thought of that...that the two of you can't- well, you know." Sybil said, her brow furrowing. "Is that difficult for you?"

"Well, dear, I suppose a little. You see, I only ever was with him the one time…" She left out that it had been three times, actually, on that night. "But it was very intense, very passionate, very….intimate."

"Well, I should say so! It is called marital intimacy." Sybil said, turning pink.

"But, even though we can't- well, you know." Mary teased "It's still a wonderful marriage. We still get to share in the other intimacies; we share a bed most nights, we talk about everything, share all of our secrets, our burdens. I think, in many ways, our marriage is more intimate than the other marriages in our circle."

"Mary, I'm so glad for you." Sybil said. "I'm so glad you came back, Mary. I love Charlie so very much, and Matthew, Matthew is such a marvelous father, and just seeing the way that he looks at Charlie...It's quite a sight." Mary tried to smile at her sister's words, but she felt a pang of sadness in her chest. Sybil sat up, and took her sister's other hand. "Did I say something wrong?"

"No, oh, No, you didn't." Mary shook her head. "It's only that, Matthew really is a terrific father, and he's so natural at it. It's only...I love him so very much, I love them both so terribly much, and I never thought that I would feel this way about children, or about my husband, but sometimes, oh, and I feel terrible for saying this, But I sometimes think, I wish that I could do it all again."

"Mary, you cannot change the past-"

"I know that, Sybil. That isn't what I meant. I wouldn't want to undo any part of Charlie's life, he's perfect, and I wouldn't risk his coming out any differently. I mean, I wish that, and I know this is impossible, but I wish that I could do it again, have another child, a sibling for Charles, a child whose life Matthew can be a part of from the moment it draws breath- someone all of our family will love without hesitation. But I can't." Mary said, with a shuddering breath.

"Oh Mary!" Sybil leaned forward to embrace her.

"It's alright, Sybil. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be so dreary. I really just wanted to be able to talk to you, to see how your life is going." Mary said. She squeezed her shoulders, and pulled back. "What about you? Tell me everything about nursing!"

"Oh, I don't know. It's exhausting, but it's meaningful work. I've seen things that have really changed my perspective on life...changed what I thought was important. Family is everything, Mary. Love is everything." Sybil said with a far off look in her eye.

"Love is everything?" Mary asked, her brow arching. "Sybil darling, is there something you want to tell me?"

"Hm?"

"Is there a certain fellow that's caught your eye?"

"No- not exactly." Sybil said, looking down.

"Not exactly?"

"There is someone who I...I've grown very fond of, who I know cares for me. But, Mary, he's someone Papa would never approve of, even Mama would think it wrong." Sybil said. "What should I do?"

"Well, do you love him?"

"I rather think I might." Sybil said with a quiet gasp.

"Then that's it." Mary shrugged.

"That's it?"

"Darling, I've made my biggest mistakes in life where love is concerned. I was concerned about what people would think when I fell for Matthew- Aunt Rosamund said some things to me when I was with her in London after your ball, and it made me hesitate, just long enough to ruin everything." Mary said. "At the end of the day, we're all just people, how expensive our clothes are, how we grew up, who our parents are, it shouldn't matter."

"So if I were to marry an, Oh, I don't know, Farmer, or footman, or, chauffeur, you would support me?" Sybil asked hopefully.

"I would." Mary nodded. "Now, I'm not saying that it would be an easily accepted choice. As a matter of fact, I think our parents would be horribly angry, and many doors would be closed to you forever. But Sybil, love is all that matters. If you love this man, and you can live with the repercussions, then nothing should stop you."

"Thank you Mary, that's exactly what I needed to hear." Sybil sighed, and hugged her again. "Oh, My break is almost up- I've got to go check up on a few bandages what are going to need changing. I'll see you at dinner."

…..

Matthew wheeled away quickly, and went to his bedroom. He hadn't meant to listen in, he'd only meant to check in with Mary, and tell her that their son was finally down for his afternoon nap- But once he had heard what they were discussing, he couldn't help but listen.

She had said she would have liked to have another child- another child with him, for him! His heart squeezed uncomfortably in his chest. He would never admit just how often he had thought nearly identical thoughts, wishing that he was capable of fathering a child, wishing that he could see Mary carrying a life they created together. But to know that she wished for it too...it was too much for him to bear.

Of course she would want more children, she was a magnificent mother, Charlie adored her, and he was the most adorable child in the entire world. Anyone in their right mind would want more such children.

But he couldn't give them to her.

He had been foolish to think that she was perfectly satisfied, that they could be perfectly satisfied with a marriage like this. What woman could be satisfied married to a crippled, impotent shell of a man?

He broke down and wept, and prayed that Mary would be occupied with her sister long enough for him to compose himself.

AN: So Robert is making a little progress, even if he isn't quite ready to accept everything and talk to his daughter. Matthew and Mary seem like they're in for another of their famous difficult talks, don't they? I'll try to update again soon! Thanks for reading!