Bad Day Beneath the Falls
Chapter 2 Headache
By: Major144
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Dipper groaned as he woke to find himself in a strange garden-like area with a splitting headache. It took him a little bit to remember what happened to him and the girls. The girls had been taken by the cavemen and Dipper had been knocked out! Dipper had to go save them! Dipper then noticed that he was no longer wearing any shoes and socks. Apparently the cavemen had stolen them. Dipper just let out a annoyed sigh as he began to explore the area. After a bit of looking around Dipper came across a scarecrow made out of a sack of corn wearing a straw hat, a red shirt, and white gloves. Dipper looked at the scarecrow and it looked back at him.
"What the heck you looking at?" Said the Scarecrow.
"You can talk?! Yelled Dipper in surprise as he jumped back.
"Of course I can! Do you have any whiskey?" Said the Scarecrow.
"Um...no. I'm a minor." Said Dipper.
"Just my luck. Those Uga-Buga jerks dump a random loser in my area." Said the scarecrow.
"Uga-Buga?" Asked Dipper.
"A bunch of dumb cavemen. Fairly harmless, until they learned about stealing and women slave trade." Said the scarecrow.
Women slave trade! Dipper did not like the sound of that.
"Hey mister scarecrow can you tell me where the Uga-Buga are and can you give me any weapons?" Said Dipper.
"Ok, firstly my name is Birdy and if you want any info and weapons you got to pay for them."
Dipper pulled out his wallet and pulled out some cash to offer to Birdy. Birdy just scowled at the cash.
"That's not money! This is money!" Said Birdy as he produced a wad of bills that appeared to have eyes and a mouth with a cigar in it's mouth.
"Sup." Said the wad.
"I don't have any money like that. What else can I give you?" Said Dipper.
"I'll take your pants and in exchange, I'll give you a bag for your stuff, a map, a frying pan, and some info." Said Birdy.
"Fine...guess it's better then nothing." Said Dipper as he reluctantly removed his wallet from his pants and then he handed the pants to Birdy.
"Alright, you need to head out of this area. There's a bridge about a hundred yards behind that leads, though there is an asshole blocking the way. After you leave you want to head north for a bit, until you find a huge cave. There you will meet a big girl named Jugga who can help you out." Said Birdy as he gave Dipper the bag and frying pan.
"Ok. Thanks." Said Dipper before walking off.
"I'm going to make a killing with that boy." Thought Birdy with a snicker.
Dipper soon came across the bridge and he saw that the asshole blocking the exit was a big gargoyle.
"What the hell do you want?" Asked the gargoyle.
"I wish to leave this place, so if you please move over, I can be on my way." Said Dipper.
"Well I ain't moving. I just got comfy here and it took me 200 years to do so. So you can just take your pant less butt and scram." Said the gargoyle.
Dipper frowned at this. The gargoyle was clearly rude and not going to move using diplomacy and politeness. Dipper decided that force was needed, so he took out the frying pan and struck the gargoyle in the face with all his might.
CLANG!
The gargoyle just stood there completely unfazed by the attack. Then he burst out laughing and stood on his back legs.
"You idiot! Did you honestly believe that little frying pan would stop me?! You're so stupid!" Laughed the gargoyle as he stumbled a bit from the laughter.
The gargoyle then took a misstep and fell right off the bridge.
"Cccccccccccrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaappppppppp!" Screamed the gargoyle as he vanished from sight.
"Why didn't that guy use his wings to save himself?" Thought Dipper as he headed for the exit.
Oh well. Dipper had other things to worry about. Girls to save and enemies to vanquish. Hopefully they would be as dumb and easy to beat as the gargoyle.
To be continued.