A/N- Hope everyone's had a great Easter weekend! Like I said in my last chapter, this one is going to be it until I finish 'A Twist of Fate', so hoping to get that one done by the start of summer if I can concentrate on it. If you guys don't mind waiting again, then I'll see you around the end of May! Thanks for sticking with me! Bethany x
Chapter 16- New Years Eve,
"Ow, Chris!" I yelp, pulling away from her hot curling wand. I catch us in the wall of mirrors, and look closer. There she is, one hand holding the hot metal, and the other cushioning her phone. "Do you mind not texting whilst you have a burning hot electrical item next to my head?"
She smiles guiltily, chucking her phone behind her, "sorry! I was just asking Will when the boys are going down."
I roll my eyes, pressing my cold hand where the curler bit my neck. "And when are they heading down?"
"10ish." She picks up one of the last strands of blonde that needs movement, "we'll go down around half past."
I nod, then let her get on with her work. The lodge is hosting a New Years party, down in the lounge. I'm not sure how many people are going to be down there, seeming as there's quite the selection to choose from tonight. The only reason we decided to stay in, is because Tobias and I are out early in the morning. There were more than a few grumbles, but it was the party in the lounge or they could celebrate New Years without us. Thinking back on it now, maybe I should have pushed my friends to go into town.
"Right!" Christina announces, "you're all done. Move, so Marlene can sit."
Doing as she so politely asked, I jump back onto my bed. Grabbing my phone, I look at the time. 9:45.
"You guys going to be ready for half 10?" I ask sceptically. I'm confident in my own skills to finish up my makeup and get dressed, and Lynn's already done, sitting quietly on her phone on the top bunk. But Christina hasn't even started her hair, and is only beginning Marlene's.
"We'll be ready for the count down, for sure." Mar replies, eyes down cast on her own device.
Chucking my phone next to me, I move to the bathroom to finish up. But then I feel something hit me. I look down, finding red velvet material strewn on the floor. I pick it up, looking confused at Christina.
"I bought it with me with you in mind," she replies absently, focused on Mar's long locks.
I hold it out in front of me. Form fitted, a slight sweetheart low neckline. Simple. I nod, talking it with me- it's cuter than what I had in mind to wear.
When I've finished my makeup, I shimmy on the dress. Pulling the last spaghetti strap onto my shoulder, I look at myself in the mirror.
I've never had too much trouble feeling confident in the clothes I wear, whether it be baggy jumpers or skin tight dresses. But tonight, knowing everyone is going to be dressed up- knowing Tobias is going to be down there, I want to look my best.
The dress hugs me nicely, making me wonder if Christina went out of her way to buy me this specifically. Our body types are completely different- her having a taller, sporty build, and me- short, petite. There's no way this was just in her wardrobe.
But not wanting to hog the bathroom, I enter back into the bedroom. Chris and Mar's heads turn to me, their lips turning into large smiles.
"Perfect!" Christina gushes, and Mar nods excitedly back. My own smile forms.
Lynn's head pops up from her bunk, glancing at me momentarily, then gives me a thumbs up before disappearing past the wood.
"Right, Mar you're done." Christina says, turning off the curler. Mar gets up and walks past me to the bathroom. Christina then reaches for her makeup.
Flopping down on my bed, I grab my phone. I glance at the time. 10 past 10.
"Waiting for a certain someone to text?" Christina teases. I chuck my phone down dramatically, holding my hands out in front of me. After my persistent silence, she sighs, "come on Tris, I want the juicy details!"
She grabs her makeup bag, then plops herself on my bed. "There's not much to tell." We've snowboarded for the past few days since Christmas. With that taking up the majority of my time, I still haven't found Peter. And that leads to me and Tobias going nowhere. "If I could only track down that bitch then I could give you some juicy details."
She pauses, just grabbing out her mirror, "sounds like a plan for tonight."
"I doubt he's going to be at the lodge party, Chris."
Having almost forgotten she was there, Lynn's voice cuts into our chat, "actually, that's exactly where he's going to be." She gracefully shimmies down the ladder, plopping herself next to me. "I overheard Nita talking to Myra and Zoe, apparently she overheard Drew and Molly say that Peter wanted to stay at the lodge this New Year."
"Right," I take in the information, nodding my head, "I need to find him before I even see Four. Then I can actually enjoy my night."
Christina wags her eyebrows, making me laugh.
"Are you girls keeping something from me again?"
My eyes widen, locked on Christina's. As she slowly turns around, I look up at Marlene's annoyed face.
"I just haven't found the right time to tell you…" I say weakly, then add, "you were so upset about all the other stuff that I've been doing that I didn't think you'd be interested in anything else I've been up to?"
She stands there for an agonising second, and I think back to the times I could have let Mar into what's going down with Tobias and me. Maybe a handful, but I try to tell myself it's no big deal. I'm pretty sure even Lynn doesn't know the extent of what's been going on.
She ends up sighing, dropping onto the edge of my single bed. Christina leans back, letting us all see each other.
Mar's deep brown eyes lock on mine, and I feel foolish for not telling one of my closest friends everything from the get go. "I might not agree with every choice you make, Tris, but that doesn't mean I don't want to be included in your oddly complicated life." She lets out a small smile at the end, and so do I. "I miss when we would tell each other everything."
A weight falls on my tight chest. I've been so caught up in my own life that I've practically ignored my friends. I've hardly asked Mar about Uriah, and I don't know the last time I asked Lynn how she was doing with that whole situation. I've taken for granted that Christina and Will are like old furniture, acting like they're not even dating.
"Tomorrow, all day-" I look around at my three best friends, grabbing Lynn and Christina's hands. "We'll catch each other up properly?" Christina grabs Mar's and Mar reaches down for Lynn's. "We'll be out of action anyway, so we can have a girls day."
"What about you're snowboarding?" Lynn interjects. As much as I'll miss the time with Tobias…
"One day won't make a dent." I say firmly. My friends matter just as much as he does. "So, chat tomorrow, get ready right now." I let go of the girl's hands, reaching for my phone and looking at the time. It's time to go. "You two better hurry up."
Christina grabs her bag, and hurries to follow Mar back into the toilet. I lean back on my pillow, my hair just laying on Lynn's shoulder. I'm just about to put down my phone when I feel it vibrate.
'You are coming tonight, aren't you?'
Then another, right after,
'Because I can't deal with these three by myself.'
"That's so boy coded for 'I'm only down here for you,'" Lynn says. I turn my phone off quickly, sinking my grinning self into my pillow.
…
"He's not here!" I shout over the music.
Christina looks around one last time, then leans down next to my ear, pointing into the crowd. "Try the smoking area!"
Of course! Pretty sure Peter doesn't smoke, but I think either Drew or Molly do. And who knows? We haven't hung out socially like this in years.
Pushing my way through the crowd, I try to spot the boys. I resisted sending Tobias a text to ask where he was, not wanting to come across as needy. With the room being surprisingly packed, it would have been easy to lose them. But I've scoured it just looking for Peter, and they're not here either. I did spot Al, though, at the bar. I quickly moved on, feeling guilty nonetheless.
With great effort, I finally made it to the other side. There's a fire door in front of me that I push down on. It opens with decent force, and I'm outside in the bitter cold. I didn't bother bringing a coat, not planning on stepping foot in the smoking area this evening.
Thankfully, the building encases us, leaving the air still. There's a few people out here, enough that it takes me a moment to catch him.
But there he finally is. Sitting on one of the benches, talking to Molly and Drew before him.
My feet move before I tell them to, ready to get this over with. "Peter," I say, grabbing his attention. I stand at the end of the bench, crossing my arms over my chest.
His eyes widen, surprised to see me. "Oh, hey, Tris. Haven't seen you in a while?"
"Wonder why that is?" I hit back. Moving my attention to his friends, I cock my head to the side, "you two mind if I have a word with Peter alone?"
They look back at him for confirmation. He's unsure for a few seconds, adding to my impatience. But then he nods, and they get up.
When I hear the door close, I sit across from him. "You've been avoiding me."
He shrugs, playing with his half empty glass. I snap my fingers in front of his face, getting his attention. "Eyes are up here."
His dark brows pull in, "what do you want me to say, Tris? That I'm fine with you breaking our deal? That only one of us got what we set out to accomplish? That it's fun watching you flirt with our instructor?"
"You're joking, right?" I ask in disbelief, "Nita's in her sweet spot! Go confide in her, say we had an argument and it's over! She's been pining for you the past few weeks, how can you say I'm the only one who's benefited?"
He shakes his head, and mumbles something under his breath.
Huffing, I lean forward, resting my arms on the wooden table. "Look- I'll do one more thing for you, alright? I'll talk to Nita, pretend that I'm upset, say that you broke it off. She'll revel in my rejection, and within minutes she'll be out here. But that's it, Peter. Everyone will know it's over."
He shakes his head, looking down again. "I don't- it's not-"
"It's the best I'm going to give you. It's that or I'll just let my friends spread that I dumped you again." As the last word leaves my mouth, I cringe. That was a bit mean.
His eyes narrow, "nice to know she's still in there."
I stand, "she only comes out when you're being a cunt."
Turning around, I go to head inside. But then my name's being called from my right. Glancing into the dark corner, I find the boys. My eyes widen, looking back at Peter. Hopefully Will and Uriah didn't hear anything…
"Hey," I say casually, pretending that they didn't see me having that chat.
The four of them are sitting on a U shaped bench, with a veranda hanging above their heads. I plop down next to Tobias, "what are you lot doing out here?"
They're scattered around the seats, taking up every inch of the space. Will faces Tobias, whilst Uriah is in the far corner, his brother next to him. Tobias scoots over a bit, giving me a decent amount of room to sit. I make myself comfortable, but keep the gap between us small; probably too small for friends. I catch him glance over from the corner of my eye. My hand reaches down, sitting against the wooden bench. His soon follows.
Will leans forward, "you can't hear a word anyone's says in there, at least out here we could wait for you girls and talk at a normal volume." He grabs his beer off of the middle table, taking a sip.
"You know Chris wont sit out here." When going out, we always seem to gravitate towards the outside seating, even if it isn't the smoking area. But any outside seating means two things: coldness, and smoke. Christina doesn't like every part of her being smelling of cigarettes, and I can't say I blame her. But I deal with it, because my best nights out usually end with our friends sitting outside, chatting.
"Yeah," Will sighs, standing up, "I better go find her. Al's been in there a while too, should see if he's alright."
"I'll join you," Uriah adds.
"Tell Lynn where we are," I say to Uriah just as he passes. He nods, then it's just Zeke and Tobias left.
"You're awfully quiet." I say to Zeke, crossing my cold arms over my chest. I lean back, hoping to catch onto some of Tobias's warmth.
"What were you and Peter talking about?" He asks.
I frown, "not much, really." I look around, making sure no ones close enough to hear. When I glance at Peter's bench, I find him gone. "I just told him I'd go to Nita, tell her he broke it off. But he didn't seem very joyful at the idea." I shrug, "there's not anything else I can do to appease him. I know it will appeal to Nita doing it this way, so I don't get why he's being all moody." I shake my head, annoyed, "you'd think he'd be happy."
The two of them look at each other, Zeke's brows rising. "What?" I press.
Zeke makes some pointed expression at Tobias, then shrugs at me, drinking his beer. Moving my attention to Tobias, I raise my own brows.
He looks back at me, his handsome face pulling in, "you don't really need me to spell it out to you, do you?"
"Well obviously you do?" I reply back, getting annoyed.
"He may have liked Nita at the start," Zeke says, "but it's pretty obvious he doesn't now."
Confused, I look between them. "What are you-"
"We could just about hear your conversation," Tobias explains. I open my mouth, but he beats me to it. "I could hardly hear, there's no way Will or Uriah would have been able to."
"Alright, so what?" I say, holding my arms more tightly around my chest, "he doesn't like Nita anymore. Great. That means I'm free of him."
Zeke's face looks like he's trying to hold in a laugh, "it sounds like you're the furthest away from free, Tris."
I look between the two, trying to push away that nagging knowledge to the back of my mind. But then my stomach drops, and I'm shaking my head, "he doesn't-"
"He totally does," Zeke answers.
And for some reason, I want to scream. But instead, my head finds my hands, and my hands find the table.
He can't like me, not again. I'm not a nice person, and I'm definitely not nice to him. I only agreed to helping him because it would help me. There's no way in hell I'd give him an ounce of my sympathy if I didn't get anything back in return.
And he likes me? That horrible girl that humiliated him in front of his friends? Who'd choose anyone over him? Who wants to get out of our agreement as soon as possible? He likes her?
"I might just go jump off the ski lift."
Tobias's hand finds my lower back, rubbing soothing circles, "no don't do that- at least not until after the competition."
I reach behind me, grabbing his hand and place it back in his own personal space.
"It's not that bad, Tris." Zeke says, "he just facies you, no biggie."
I sit back up, looking blankly at him. "It makes things awkward, Zeke! And complicated! I didn't exactly want either of those things again!"
"You're just going to have to try to ignore him," Tobias adds weakly. I huff, resting my head on his shoulder. So much for a good night. "You still going to go talk to Nita?"
"Oh, I don't know." Is there point anymore? I could just let the word spread that we broke up. I'm guessing Peter doesn't want Nita having that incentive now, so why would I put all that energy into a break up favouring him. Unless…
I stand up, ironing out my dress with my palms. "I'm going in there. I'm going to cry in front of Nita, and then she can go running into Peter's arms."
"Even though he doesn't want her?" Tobias asks, confused.
"Because he doesn't want her."
…
"Do I look like I've been crying?" I ask, rubbing at my mascara.
Tobias leans in closer, judging my face. "Pretty believable."
I smile, nodding. "Okay," glancing down at my phone, I look at the time. 11:40. "Hopefully this doesn't take too long, but if it does, I'll meet you out the front before the countdown starts?"
My unsaid words linger between us, his smile eating them up, "sounds good."
"On with the show, then?"
Pushing the door open, I'm hit with the heat of handfuls of bodies cramped into the lounge. I'm up on my tiptoes, trying to spot Christina. I'm going to need her to begin my plan.
At this moment, I regret telling Tobias not to watch. It's going to be funny, sure. But I think he's the only one I will definitely get embarrassed around- and I need this to come across genuine. And anyway, I'm only missing his height.
My sole's hit back on the floor. Pushing through the crowd, I decide to just hunt her down.
As I head towards the bar, I catch her tall build. Laughing at something Will's said, her eyes catch onto mine.
Concern fills her face, and she's on me in seconds. "What's wrong?"
Feeling more confident in my appearance, I grin, "I need your help."
…
"A-and then, h-he said that he likes s-someone else and-" a real hiccup leaves me, after my random sharp inhales. Christina, her back facing Nita, holds her hand over her mouth, eyes wide, trying to swallow a laugh. "I don't know what to do!"
For a second, my frantic eyes catch Nita's. Holding onto every word spilling out of my mouth, her eyes dart away. Her and her friends pretend to look busy, gazes filtering the room, mixing their drinks with straws.
"Is he still here?" Chris asks. She holds one finger over her lips, sealing them shut after the last word leaves her mouth.
I shake my head, "no- I saw him l-leave a few minutes ago." That part is true. Whilst I was getting into position, he walked past me. I couldn't help but give him a small wave as he looked over my appearance. Shaking his head, he left through the doors back towards the dorms.
"Okay, do you want to go back to the room?"
I shake my head, "I don't know- I don't want him to ruin my night, but-"
And there she is, "are you alright, Tris?"
I widen my eyes, locking onto Nita's light brown ones. Her face pulls in, obvious fake concern falling onto her.
"Uh, yeah," I wipe my hands hastily under my eyes, trying to get rid of the mascara stains. "Just not having a great time."
She nods with consolidation, then pats my arm. "Maybe it's best you call it a night."
My face drops, for real this time. My eyes thin, "I'll think about it."
She nods, smiling gently. Then she brushes past me. Myra and Zoe give me, from what I can tell, some genuine smiles, but follow her to the doors.
When I hear the heavenly click of the lock falling back into place, I breathe a sigh of relief.
Christina, finally free of her constraint, laughs loudly. "If I didn't know your plan, I would have no doubt believed you."
I smile, "good." I look around, wondering if I have enough time to fix myself up in the toilet, "do you know the time?"
Her phone, already in her hand, lights up. "11:55."
"Okay, uh-" do I have time? "Do I look terrible?"
She rustles in her bag, grabbing out a small pack of makeup wipes. She taps beneath my chin, so I lift my head.
Wiping under my eyes, then from the corner of my eye to my eyebrow, she nods. "The rest of you still looks surprisingly good."
"Right!" Butterflies begin to dance in my stomach. There's nothing standing in our way now, which is kind of hard to believe. "I'll find you later?"
She grins, "good luck."
I go to walk past her, but she grabs my arm out of nowhere. "Oh, don't forget this!"
She's in her bag again. It's only a second or two, but I can feel the time slipping from me. She shoves a cylinder into my hand, squeezing it closed. Then, she's off. I look down at my palm, facing a tube of lip balm.
I roll my eyes and begin to walk towards the exit, swiping the balm over my lips.
Pushing open the door, a gust of wind hits me. Bumps form over my skin, chilling me to the bone. Maybe meeting out here wasn't the wisest decision.
I run my palms up and down my arms, moving onto the lonely road. And there he is, in his own world. He's kicking at stones, once checking his watch.
Glancing behind me, I make sure no one's followed me outside, "Tobias!"
He twists around, his dark eyes meeting my own, "you've definitely cut it close."
Fireworks have already begun, the night sky bursting with reds, blues and yellows. "I'd say I'm right on time."
He nods, his lips twitching up, as always, transforming his handsome face into something so welcoming. "How'd your show go?"
"Really well," I grin, "maybe I should have taken a drama A-Level."
He takes a step closer, and my heart picks up its pace, "you're definitely a girl with many talents."
And then I hear it. Back behind closed doors, the countdown begins. I, too, move towards him, my neck now having to bend upwards, his bending slightly down.
"You could say that." My eyes flick to his soft lips. A deeper pink than my own, closer to red maybe. A spare upper, fuller lower.
Muffled voices behind me keep me in beat, the fireworks untrustworthy. His large hands slowly find my waist, and my own move to his neck. His hands pulls me in, and soon our faces are inches apart.
I breathe in, then out, "Tobias-"
And then his lips are on mine, and everything slows down. Warmth blossoms in my chest, that everlasting spark left unchecked. I kiss him back eagerly, not realising how long I've actually been waiting for this moment.
He feels unreal, his body pressed against my own- every inch of him overwhelmingly solid. These past few days have gone by so agonisingly slow. Each trip up the mountain having lasted weeks, each way down like needles pricking at my skin.. Small touches here, a prolonged stare there. It was like a quickly sped up time bomb, just waiting to explode.
He then pulls me in tighter, like his deprived touch has been weighing on his own mind. Splayed hands press firmly against my back, hooking around my side. I gasp against his open mouth, lifting up on my tiptoes, trying to hold myself closer to him as I deepen the kiss. My fingers intertwine with his soft waves at the base of his head, his other hand grabbing me just under my arm.
I can just about hear the fireworks suddenly increase, and in the back of my mind I know the New Year has begun. But my head's dizzy with what was once a barely noticeable hint of smoke, contrasting with that spring air that I've become hooked on.
And with forever feeling inevitable, things start to cool down. My breaths come slower, my hands losing their lock around his neck. But we stay close, wrapped in each other's embrace. The town becomes louder, and my eyes refocus on him.
A starry night stares back at me, suns twinkling in their vast abyss. My flushed cheeks burn just as brightly, a stupid grin overtaking my face. "Was that worth the wait?"
"You've always been worth the wait," he replies seriously.
My confident grin morphs into a shy smile. I grab his hands, pulling him towards the lodge, "come on, we better go back in."
But he's holding still, and then we're together again, like our gravitational pulls have been irrevocably strung together. And I don't know how long we stay out in the bitter night, but I do know that I stopped feeling the cold the very moment my eyes found his.