A/N- EvaLuciaHart- thank you for such a lovely review! I'm really glad you've enjoyed both of my stories, and as far as future ff's go, I'm sure you won't be disappointed! I'll try not to let the pressure get to me lmao.
Ladybugunique- I still feel bad about some divergent ff that I published on this site back when I was like 14! I never forget about my stories, they literally haunt me loool. It's kind of like being in exam season again, when writing this story is my revision and its like constant guilt when I'm doing something else. But luckily I enjoy writing, so the guilt spurs me on most of the time.
Hope you all enjoy chap 19, and I'll hopefully see you soon with 20! Bethany x
Chapter 19- An Unclear Path,
With my head pretty much hanging in the toilet, I can just about feel someone's hand on my back.
"Good girl, Tris," they encourage, holding my hair back. "Keep going. It all needs to come out."
But by this point, I'm dry heaving.
And it's only when it feels like my stomach is going to cave in on itself that I realise Christina, Lynn and Mar are here with me.
It's silent for a prolonged moment, and as I stare heavily into the toilet full of acidic sick, I start to get confused.
"How are you feeling?" Mar asks cautiously. I feel her kneel next to me, her hand gently resting on my arm.
I feel like death warmed up.
My throat's raw, so when I go to describe how hell I feel, nothing comes out. Instead, I just do a pathetic shake of my head.
"On the bright side, looks like it's all out of your system. No need for Four to drive you to the hospital to get you pumped." Lynn fills the silence, but the somewhat light hearted joke goes over everyone's heads.
"Feel like you can sit up?" Chris asks from my right.
My breath shakes as I breath in, hitching as I try to push off of the toilet rim.
And then my head starts to spin.
I've been drunk before. Countless nights I've staggered back home, feeling horrid, then I lay down, and the room starts to spin, but leaves me motionless. I had thought that feeling couldn't be topped. And during those early mornings, I had promised myself that I wouldn't drink that much ever again.
But this doesn't feel like that. My stomach is contracting, my head is heavy and my limbs feel next to useless. It's only with the help of the girls that I'm able to push myself off of the porcelain.
They start mumbling behind me, or maybe they're talking normally and I just can't hear them properly. But then I'm left, being placed against something cold and hard. The bath?
Wait. Where even am I?
I would open my eyes, but my lid's feel too heavy to even entertain the idea.
It's only when I hear the word 'hospital' again that my head starts shaking.
"No," I say, well, mumble. Pressing my hands against the floor, I try to stand. "I don't- no hospitals-"
They're all back at my side, hands on my arms, my waist.
The word bed is thrown around, with agreement following. Then we're out of the bathroom, and I just about open my eyes enough that I start to recognise little things. Pulled out draws and an unmade bed in a dark room. But the dead give away is the orange tabby sitting on one of the pillows.
I would wonder where his owner is, or why I'm even here to begin with. But as my head joins the cat on the soft pillows, it's like my will power dissolves, and I'm out like a light.
…
When I wake, it's light.
With a groggy, banging head, it's painful to peel open my eyes.
The sunshine glaring through the window doesn't help. But with time, I'm able to see.
And the first thing in my sight is Clémentine.
He stares down at me, his cute, fluffy head knocked to the side. He almost looks like he's saying, 'who's this stranger laying on my pillow?' And if I'm being honest, I'm on the same track as Tobias's strange cat.
Pushing myself gingerly up, I watch as Clémentine jumps off of the bed, and disappears. It's only when he's out of my line of sight, that I see Tobias.
Sat upright, his head sits at an awkward angle as he sleeps. Still dresses in the clothes he was wearing to the club, he looks exhausted.
Then I slowly look around the room.
My friends have sprawled themselves in every direction. Pillows from the sofa litter the floor, making a makeshift bed. Christina and Will occupy it, seeming ot have gotten the best sleeping arrangement out of the bunch. Shauna and Zeke lay on a blanket, the hard laminate pressing against their sides. I can almost feel the bruises forming against their hips.
Looking to the left of Tobias's bed, Uriah's leans against the frame, his head cushioned by the mattress. He sleeps close to Mar's feet, her shoes still laced.
Lynn joins her at the bottom of Tobias's bed, both in balls, taking up as little space as humanly possible.
Images want to mush my brain, but it's pretty empty up there. What the hell is going on?
As I try to sit up straight, my stomach clenches. I almost double over, feeling like I've been kicked from the inside out.
And it's only as the dull throbbing starts back up right behind my eye sockets, that I find myself heating up.
My brows pull over my eyes, which only adds to the pain splitting my brain in half.
But I try to remember.
We went out last night? The girls and I met the others outside of the lodge. Tobias and I lagged behind the others as we walked down to the club. We found a booth, and spent most of the night chatting with Lynn. I had a drink. I swear I only had one…
Did I really drink so much that I've forgotten the whole night?
Oh my god. My upset stomach churns with embarrassment. My eyes squeeze closed, and my palms find them.
I was so drunk all my friends stayed around Tobias's to make sure I didn't die in the night.
An uncomfortable, incredulous laugh climbs my throat. The disbelief of the situation has me almost doubting my reality. I mean, I've been black out before. But not for years…
Elbows meeting my crossed knees, my hands push up into my hair. I sit there for a moment, willing the memories to come back. But nothing does. Not even small, picture glimpses like I used to get back when I was too far gone. I don't remember leaving the club, nor the walk back, or how we all even got into Tobias's apartment, let alone his room.
My confusion starts to get replaced with unease. Anything could have happened last night.
But just before I start to spiral, I feel Tobias jump awake next to me.
I turn to see his panicked face, like the thought of him nodding off was a life or death decision. It's only when his bloodshot eyes find mine that his shoulders sag. He says something in French, then pulls me in.
I don't fight against him, even as his grip sends pins throughout my body. His concern has my head spinning, wondering if the annoyance of me ruining the night will catch up to him.
But when his grip doesn't falter, I pull back.
"What's going on?" I ask, voice raspy. Looking up at him, I see so many emotions racing across his face. "I don't remember anything."
"How are you feeling?" He asks instead, his palm resting against my neck. His face laps with concern, like the simpleness of me being awake and speaking is not good enough confirmation that I'm bordering ok.
"It feels like acid has been poured down my throat," I say back quickly. "Did I over do it last night?"
"What?" He says incredulously, "no, Tris. You had two drinks. You didn't do anything." Anger specales his voice, and the more he speaks, the stronger it becomes. "Nothing that happened last night was your fault."
"So why does this feel like the world's worst hangover?" I push. None of this makes sense. What does he mean this wasn't my fault?
"You need to eat something," he declares, getting out of bed. Before I can decline, I'm pulled out with him. He pretty much carries me across our friends, through the messed up living room, and into the kitchen.
Deposited on the island stool, I sit there, words lost to me as he rummages around in his cupboard.
"Tobias?" I finally exclaim, "just tell me what's going on!"
I can see him take in a deep breath, even with his defined back to me. He doesn't say anything until he's put some bread in his toaster, and pushed a glass of water in front of me.
He stands at the other side of the island, his lips pressing together, like he's fighting with his thoughts. "Drew put something in your drink last night."
Huh? "Drew spiked me?" I repeat, for some reason not really believing it. "How could he even-"
"I don't know, Tris," Tobias says, running his hand through his messy hair. "None of us were at the bar when you went up. But from what Lynn said, it's the only thing that would make sense." His hand pushes the water closer to me, "you don't have to worry about Drew, okay?"
The toast pops up when I start putting two and two together. "You didn't…"
His attention is back on his other task, scraping butter over the bread. "God, did I want to." He shakes his head, a displaced laugh leaving him. "If you weren't in such a bad state, he wouldn't have been able to walk home." Turning around, he holds the plate of toast in his hand. "But that doesn't mean Uriah and Will didn't have a problem finding him." Pushing the toast in front of my speechless self, he says, "we probably won't see him on the slopes for the next week or so."
I open my mouth to say something, anything. But what can I even say? I want to shake him, ask him why they would beat Drew up, knowing how badly that could end for them all. Push at him, ask him what the hell they were thinking, why he didn't stop the younger boys. If the lodge found out Tobias had even an inkling of the assault, he could be fired. Uriah and Will could be sent home, expelled from school, maybe even denied the chance to sit their exams. This whole year could go up in flames, all because of me..
Tears well in my eyes, the overwhelming reality of this situation sinking in. I really want to be mad at them, for not thinking before they acted. But how can I? My chest warms at the knowledge my friends would put themselves in harm's way to defend me, even without me there.
My head falls back into my hands as I mumble, "this is such a disaster."
"Drink something, please, Tris." Tobias prods, now at my side. His hand sits on my lower back comfortingly.
Breathing through my nose, I count to three before removing my hands, and shakingly grabbing the glass of water. The liquid burns as it travels down my throat, but feels good as it hits my dry stomach.
Doing as Tobias so nicely asked, I eat a few bites of toast. And when I can't stomach any more, he finishes off the pieces, and we go into the living room, waiting for our friends to wake up.
I'm just nodding back off against Tobais's shoulder as we sit together on the cushionless sofa when his bedroom door slams open.
By this point, it's getting onto 13:00.
I'd like to say things start to clear up with the point of views from my friends, but really, all their chatting does is make my nerves stand to attention.
Lynn's pretty adamant Drew spiked my drink. She had said we both went up to the bar together, but were separated by Molly and Drew. Then apparently we talked on the dance floor, and I said something about him. Then I gave her Tobais's beer, and headed to the toilet. Finding the situation weird, she followed me a few minutes later, only to find me on the floor, barely holding myself up. "There's no way two double vodkas would have had you that out of it." She had shook her head, sitting on the remade sofa next to me.
"Thanks for following me," I say to her quietly, finding her cold hand. She looks back to me as I swear moisture glazes over her eyes.
With a small squeeze back, she looks over to Will and Uriah, demeanour completely shifting. "But thanks to these four who didn't think about the consequences of beating Drew up last night, it wouldn't even matter if we got some CCTV footage. Even if we had proof of him messing with Tris's drink, we'd basically be dobbing the boys in."
The room is silent after Lynn finishes. Looking over to Uriah and Will, I can't help but feel guilty. I know I shouldn't. In no way was any of this my fault. But if Drew didn't put whatever it was in my drink, then they wouldn't have beaten him up, and we wouldn't even be sitting here in Tobias's flat.
"This doesn't leave the room," I finally say, breaking the tense silence. I look over to Uriah and Will, glancing at their hands. On Uri's, I can still see some dried blood. I smile tightly at them, feeling guiltier as the seconds go by. "I'm sure he's learnt his lesson. We just have to hope he doesn't do anything about this."
"Tris-" Tobias starts, pulling away from me so he can look at my face. His tone says everything before he even carries on. "You make it sound like he pushed you over in the playground. The kid drugged you. This whole situation could have gone so much worse if we didn't find you so quickly."
Someone had briefly said something about Lynn sticking her fingers down my throat. I guess being so intoxicated, my usual reflexes were useless. And as grateful I am that she was so clocked on, I feel my stomach flip, embarrassment rolling back in with full force.
"It doesn't matter now," I say back, trying to sound firm. "Choices were made last night. And as much as you might think he got away lightly, we're all just going to have to deal with it." This isn't just about Drew being psychotic. Uri and Will have assaulted him, and I'm sure in some people's eyes, the two crimes are level with each other. "We don't have to be nice to Drew and Molly, but this can't go any further."
Mumbles of disagreement follow, but I block them out. That is, until the name I've been pushing to the side comes up.
"Do you think Peter has anything to do with this?" Shauna asks cautiously, sitting next to Zeke on the love seat to Tobias's right.
The little in my stomach starts to rise. I'm shaking my head, unable to even think that Peter could have forced Drews hand. In the back of my mind, even after everything that has happened- how we left things off- never in a million years would I think he could be capable of doing that.
Shauna's question goes unanswered, and it's not long until my friends start leaving Tobias's.
It's a mellow goodbye, and when they've all departed, the flat feels oddly still.
Tobias joins me back on the sofa after he locked the door. Wrapping my arm around his waist, I press my tired face back into his chest. With my body and mind beyond exhausted, the only thing that seems golden right now is the emptiness of sleep.
His hand slowly rubs against my shoulder in continuous circles, making it harder and harder to keep my eyes open.
And like he can sense my ebbing energy, he says, "sleep, Tris. I'll be here when you wake."
With the comfort of his words, I let my eyes fall shut. I just about feel four paws come to a stop on my lap before everything dulls.