A/N- Sorry! But late's better than nothing, right?! Bethany xxxxxxxxxxxx

Chapter 20- Misunderstandings.

With my stomach twisting, I grip onto my poles. Standing shoulder to shoulder with Uriah and Lynn, we wait for the last person to join our group.

Christina gives us a small wave, and I watch as her beginners group leaves to the left of the slopes. Averting my guilty eyes from Al, I look back over to Tobias.

His mood is the worst it's been since our first lesson at the start of December. Edward had commented on it, making a joke about a bad weekend.

I could just about muster up a tight smile, knowing he didn't mean any harm from trying to brighten the mood. But with my body still feeling less than par, Tobias's tense disposition, and waiting for Peter to join us, it's near impossible to find my usual sense of humour.

After another 5 minutes of still silence, Tobias finally breaks it. "You lot, head to the lifts."

Edward's quick to react, walking over to the turnstiles. But by Tobias's wording, I find he isn't asking us all to give up on waiting for Peter.

With Edward out of ear shot, I take a step towards Tobias. "What are you doing?"

His dark brows furrow, innocence shadowing his eyes. "I'm going to check the boot room, see if he's down there."

"Just leave it," I say back, harsher than I mean it to come out. "None of us even know if he had anything to do with what happened Saturday."

"Cool," he says infuriatingly casually. "It's not going to be hard to find out."

Letting go of my poles, I quickly grab onto his coat sleeve before he starts walking away. His stone face turns to me as I say, "and do what? Make this whole situation worse by taking your anger out on him?" Letting go of his arm, I cross mine over my still sore chest. "You're not intoxicated, Four. If you go in there and lay one finger on him, it's going to be all you. Your choice, your fist."

I understand anger. The way it fills every nook and cranny of your body, the way it rewires your brain, turning logic into mush.

And I know the way regret follows after. When the consequences hammer down, and there's nowhere for your new found self loathing to hide. No amount of confessions, or repenting will minimise the situation you, yourself have put someone in.

I don't want that for Tobias. I know, if he goes and finds Peter right now, he won't give him any time to speak. And after the anger leaves his body, he'll be filled with that self loathing.

With my words said, I lean down slowly, picking my poles back up. By now, Lynn and Uriah have given us some distance, walking very slowly towards Edward and the lifts.

When I look back up, I thankfully find Tobias still there. But instead of an understanding expression looking back on me, there's nothing.

And in those seconds, it's almost like we're strangers again, bumping into each other before the lodge's stairs.

"Tobias-"

He takes a step back. "Go join the others, Tris."

Hurt pangs my chest, my brows pulling in confusion. "Don't say you're-"

But he's cold, already walking away, back towards the boots room.

…

"I would have just left him, if I were Four."

Silence follows, the only thing keeping the awkwardness at bay is the sound of the wind blowing past us.

Edward carries on, him the only one standing as we wait at the top of the ski lift, just off to the left. "Have you lot seen the mood he's been in since Sunday? Apparently he punched Drew, and that's why Drew's been MIA."

I look up slowly, pushing away the knowledge that I've said something upsetting enough for Tobias to lock me out. "You think he punched Drew?"

Edwards drops down into a crouch. "It's just a rumour I heard from Myra. But I could hear them fighting early Sunday morning from my room, and from how mad Peter sounded it wouldn't surprise me."

Glancing at Uriah, I start to wonder why he didn't hear anything. With him, Al and Will rooming with Edward, it would be near impossible for one of them to not have woken up.

Then, as he looks over to me, I remember Tobias's bedroom that morning.

"Where were you and Will, by the way?" Edward asks curiously.

"Zeke's," Uriah lies back smoothly. Then he's got his own questions for Edward. "Did Al hear Peter also?"

Edward nods his dark blond head. "No one would have slept through that."

With all this information getting dumped, I find my head spinning. And for the first time since being out here this season, I don't want to ski.

…

I walk mindlessly, not having anywhere in mind to head towards.

With it coming up to mid day, I know I'll have to start looping back to the lodge soon enough. With Tori's English class looming, it'd be impossible to get out of without a proper reason. And I don't think being at war with myself is good enough for her.

But just as I pass the swimming pool in the centre of town, I find myself face to face with an unsuspecting lamp post.

With it being mid day, it does nothing to beacon me forward. Instead, it stands useless on the end of the pavement, waiting for dusk to fall.

But then my eyes fall on a cluster of posters.

Walking over, I reach for the only one talking to me. The year takes up most of the top of the paper, then it reads, 'Alpe d'huez biggest public snowboarding competition!' Then there's a picture of two sportsmen on the slopes with the date of the competition. 15th of February.

Yanking the laminated poster off of the metal, I can't even comprehend how it's less than a month until me and Tobias are supposed to compete- or how I've only been here, with him, for just over.

But instead of that sweet, stomach clenching feeling I usually get when thinking of Tobias actually liking me back, of us sharing those feelings and being on the same level- my throat tightens, and gut twists.

Being upset with how he's handling the situation doesn't even compare to the dread of myself saying something completely out of place. Something bad enough that he's shut me out, maybe to never let me back in again.

And that's when the warring starts. When I think back on what I said, I can't think of a different timeline where I wouldn't have said those things. He shouldn't physically hurt Peter. Not on my behalf. I don't want him to lose his job, one that I know he enjoys more than anything- I don't want this place where we've refound each other to be tainted by such ugly emotions.

And I know Tobias is logical, so I can't see why he doesn't understand. I get that he cares for me, that much isn't hard to comprehend. But it's like this anger is instilled in him, far enough down that he can't see that hurting himself would also hurt me-

The poster falls from my grasp, my stomach dropping as my thoughts piece together. The subject of family has always been a hard conversation for him, one that, with our relationship still not even having a name, we haven't divulged in.

But I do know that as Tobias grew, his father changed.

On the ride back to the ski village, after Tobias and I's unnamed date, he had turned the conversation back to me as soon as his dad was mentioned. The image of his hands gripping the steering wheel harshly enough that his veins protruded through his skin- and I finally realise my mistake.

Spinning on my heels, I run back to the lodge.

…

Assuming he's given up on the Peter search as soon as I pretty much told him he was like his abusive father, I decide the best place to look for Tobias is his room.

The lodge is pretty packed when I push open the living room doors. People have begun to head for the stairs, back up to the main area. In the chaos, I find a few of my classmates' heads.

Then my eyes catch the clock above the fireplace, and I realise lunch has just ended. They're heading towards the classroom.

Shoulders sagging in quick defeat, I know there's no way to get around Tori. Our room sits just next to the stairs, whilst Tori waits outside, counting us all as we head in, foregoing the register.

Dragging my legs towards the room, I try to mentally prepare myself for the next handful of hours.

…

"And you haven't seen him since?"

My pen taps incessantly against the table as I say, "it's more complicated than him just leaving, Chris."

Her brows pull in, and I know how this whole situation looks with her only knowing half of what I do. "So you get spiked, and he's the one to walk off in a strop. Is that not what you're saying?"

Letting out a breath, I don't bother trying to defend the situation. Instead, I say, "you'll keep this to yourself, right?"

She bites her lip, shaking her head humorlessly. "Of course I will- but, Tris- I don't get why you're feeling bad about this?"

"I never said-"

"You don't have to." She replies, eyes softening. "Your body is basically screaming it."

Pressing my lips together, my eyes find the door. "I just need to find him. I think we've both got the wrong end of the stick."

She nods slowly, obviously thinking I'm losing it.

And I probably am. Grabbing my phone, the screen brightens up. But all that stares back at me is a group picture of me and the girls on the slopes.

Over the past few hours where I'm supposed to be doing school work, I've been going back and forth over whether I should message him or not.

The least I could have asked is where he's to, but as I started to write it out, I deleted it before I could press send.

I could bet good money that he doesn't want to see me, so why the hell would he tell me where he is?

And from that note, I had spiralled into my head, wondering if there was any point tracking him down, knowing that I would be the last person he would want to see, let alone talk to.

But no matter if he wants to see me or not, I need to apologise to him. Whether the outcome is favourable or not, he needs to know how much I regret not thinking before I started spouting accusations.

"Homework is due Wednesday, okay?" Tori says, her voice travelling through the many conversations throughout the room. "There will be no extensions!"

Then everyone starts packing up their things.

"Guessing we won't see you for a bit, then?" Christina asks as she puts her bag onto her shoulder.

I shrug, passing her back the pen that I borrowed.

With no time for anything else to be said, I leave the room, trying to ignore the fact that Peter hasn't attended the class this afternoon.

With the stairs free of people at this hour, I ascend them quickly. It's only when I stand in front of his door that I pause.

The thought that maybe I should be giving him some space is more prevalent than ever. Like just being in the vicinity of his living space is a warning enough to back away.

But I don't get the chance, not when the door opens for me.

"Just think about it, okay?" Comes from the opening, then, as the door fully swings open, brown, loose hair follows as the holder looks back into the room. "Sign up is at the end of the week, Four. If we partner up, you could finally fulfil your name."

Lauren. Christina and Al's instructor.

Feeling frozen in place, all I can do is wait for either of them to notice me.

She also waits for his answer, and I'm holding my breath, knowing what she's logically asking him to do.

Then he says, "sure, Lauren, I'll think about it."

And just as the last word leaves his mouth, when Laurens smiling face turns back around, they both realise they're not alone.

I'm sure, at one point, I would have been embarrassed. I've basically been eavesdropping on their conversation, even if I didn't mean to. But at this exact moment, all I feel is betrayal.

Tobias's mouth opens, his eyes widening ever so slightly.

Then there's the other instructor. The one who seems to know the meaning behind the name Four- which he hasn't even told me yet.

Smile still on her face, she says, "oh, hey, Tris!" I don't even get a chance to reply when her grin turns playful. "I never actually had the chance to thank you for helping Christina out! If not for you, our group would still be stuck on the green slopes."

Her friendly tone whiplashes me enough that my body instinctively takes a steadying step backwards.

But she doesn't stop talking, like she can't feel the unwelcoming tension sucking the air out of the hall. "I actually saw a new skiing competition at the end of February for under 21's." With pretty brown eyes sparkling, she reaches into her ski jacket, pulling out a folded piece of paper. A sweet shrug moves her shoulders, like she's doing me a favour, "thought that was more up your street than all this snowboarding stuff."

And with that, she looks back to a speechless Tobias. "Find me before Friday, okay?"

Not waiting for an answer, she smiles kindly at me, then leaves.

Then it's just Tobias and me.

When I look at him, I'm trying to find my anger. How dare he think about replacing me? After all this effort I've been putting into this stupid competition, mostly for his sake, and now he's talking to another girl- one that he could have picked from the beginning- about partnering up?

But I'm still reeling from how Lauren seemed like she was genuinely helping me out.

Helping me out by stealing my partner? Making it seem like she's doing me a favour? Chucking me a singles skiing competition for my replacement?

"Tris, that isn't what-"

I scoff out a laugh, thankfully finding my anger. "That isn't what it looked like?" I ask incredulously, my brows raising as I shake my head, "it looks like you were just about to close the door on Lauren, and think long and hard about her offer." My body takes a step back, ready to flee. "Whatever Four. Do what you want. It's not like I was doing this competition for me anyways."

The shock of me hearing enough of what was said seems to keep his words from him. There's no apology, and knowing him well enough, I know one won't come. Shaking my head, disappointment fills my chest. But no matter how much I like him, or how much I actually do want to compete in this competition, I won't grovel at his feet, begging him to give me a second chance.

Swallowing through threatening tears, I turn to leave.