Author's Note: TW for self-harm, self-deprecating thoughts and words, trauma, references to self-harm.
I write this story for myself (and for you, of course!). I have struggled with depression for over a decade (and I'm only 23!) and self-harm as well.
Please stay safe as you read this.
If this is triggering to you- please don't read or put protections/ safeguards in place. I am so glad you are here. Keep fighting. Stay strong. Your existence makes my life better. Do what you need to do to survive. Take care of yourself, first and foremost!
Here we go! First chapter! Thanks for being here! I'm posting the first chapter today so anyone who wants to follow/subscribe can! It'll be a bit as I write additional chapters before posting again. Stay connected! Let me know what you think!
You are important! You matter! You are loved!
"It's fine!" Harry exclaimed, not even thinking about his word choice.
"Harry!" Sirius warned with a bit of a growl, standing up.
Remus raised his eyebrows at Harry's choice of words.
Harry was in the Marauders sitting room at Hogwarts and was trying to convince his godparents that his "exploration" last night with Draco was perfectly fine.
Remus saw a very heated Harry and Sirius and knew that the situation needed to be de-escalated.
"Sirius, my love, take a breath," Remus said, putting a gentle hand on Sirius' shoulder. Sirius was still tense and Remus leaned down to whisper in his ear. "Pads, Harry doesn't need you to react like this right now. He's had a lot of intimidation in his life and now is not the time."
Sirius let out a breath, knowing that Remus was right.
"Thanks," he muttered as he turned around to compose himself.
Harry, however, was still rather angry. His mouth was in a thin line and his hands were fists.
"Harry, take a breath," Remus said gently.
"I don't want to! I want an explanation!" Harry demanded, stomping.
"Harry, you're not going to understand anything when you're this angry. You need to calm down," Remus told him.
Harry groaned and threw his hands up.
"What do you want me to do?!" Harry yelled, seething.
"Harry," Remus said gently, "go downstairs and get some anger out."
Harry knew if he yelled again he would just start crying and he was so angry and didn't feel like doing it in front of Remus right now.
Harry let out a loud yell and stormed to the basement with the punching bag and padded walls and floor, slamming the door behind him.
Remus counted to 10 before he let out a breath and ran his hands through his hair.
"Bugger," Remus murmured, going to get a drink of water.
Sirius had walked into their bedroom, but came out and found Remus in the kitchen.
"Did you talk to Harry?"
Remus shook his head, taking a sip of water. "He is too angry right now. We just need to let him calm down."
"Why is he angry? We're the ones who should be angry!" Sirius hissed.
"He's angry that we're upset. He is entitled to his feelings, as are we," Remus pointed out.
"I hate seeing him put himself in danger!" Sirius said, releasing a breath.
"He wants to fight. That's something we wanted when we were his age," Remus gently reminded him.
"But I worry!" Sirius stressed.
Remus gave Sirius a small smile. "I know. I do, too. I'll talk to him. I'm just giving him some time."
Sirius nodded and took another breath. "You're right. Thanks, Moony."
"Anytime, Pads."
Harry yelled as he punched the punching bag. Boy, had he lied.
Two weeks ago he had told Ron and Hermione that everything would be okay and that he was going to be okay. How wrong he has been.
It started out rough with Graduation. Harry went, of course, and while he was incredibly proud of his friends, he was also very sad.
Then, Dumbledore gathered the adults and Harry together to explain Horcrux hunting (which the adults had already known about).
Harry, of course, promptly told Draco and they began to brainstorm what the Horcruxes could be and where they would be.
Harry and Draco had just been caught Horcrux hunting at Hogwarts and Sirius and Remus were not happy about it.
Harry kept punching the bag, muttering to himself angrily, until Remus came down. Harry glared at his father and shifted his body to punch the bag without having to look at Remus.
"Hello, Harry."
Harry grunted, punching hard.
"I can see you're still angry. I can come back in a bit," Remus offered, turning around to go back upstairs.
Harry hit the bag hard again before taking off the gloves and said, "Wait. I'd rather talk now."
Remus paused, but turned around and nodded. "Okay. Care to explain what happened?"
Harry took a deep breath and made fists with his hands. Remus instantly saw this and Harry forced his hands to relax.
"I wanted to help look for the Horcruxes. I know there has got to be one in Hogwarts and I want to help find it."
"Harry, it is so dangerous. We don't want you going around trying to find this on your own."
"I am a Horcrux, Moony Da. It can't get much worse."
"Harry," Remus reminded Harry in a low and gentle tone. "You are not evil. You are not dangerous. We don't know anything about these items. They could be cursed. They could harm you. We don't want that."
Harry had half a dozen retorts to that statement but kept his mouth shut. Instead, he gave a stiff nod and hummed.
"Harry," Remus said, raising his voice and his eyebrow. "What is it?"
"Nothing," Harry lied. "I'm just tired."
"You were just beating a punching bag and yelling," Reemus pointed out dryly.
"It's okay, Moony Da. I get it. I'll do better," Harry replied, giving a tight-lipped smile.
"Harry, I am your dad, a marauder, a professor, and a therapist. I know when you're hiding something from me."
Harry bit his tongue. He didn't want to talk about it right now. All he wanted to do was yell. "Moony Da," Harry began, his voice shaking a bit with anger. "I'd like to be alone right now. You're going to make me talk at our next session. Please, give me this time."
Remus did not want to leave Harry alone right now, but he also knew that Harry was probably in the safest room in the whole castle and he didn't have anything on him that could harm him.
"I would like to stay with you, but I respect your decision. I'll be upstairs if you need anything," Remus said, sending a kind smile Harry's way before heading upstairs.
Harry waited for Remus to shut the door before he fell to the ground with a yell.
Angry tears started to pour down his face and he slammed his fists against the ground.
"They don't get it! They don't get it!" Harry yelled.
Harry couldn't explain to his parents how alone he felt in this situation. He knew he had a role to play and yet they were trying to protect him, from something he was!
Harry felt his fingers make their way to his arms where he furiously scratched. It wasn't until he felt pain that he looked down and realized that he had broken the spell on his fingernails. He only paused for a moment before continuing to scratch at his arms.
He did this for a few more minutes before stopping and panting. He didn't draw blood, but he did scratch enough for there to be red scratches that were very visible.
Harry just sat there, calming down and focusing on the pain he caused rather than the thoughts in his head It took him another 15 minutes before he realized that he needed to make his way upstairs. And he was wearing a short sleeve shirt.
"Shit," Harry whispered as he ran a hand through his hair.
He ran through his options in his mind before deciding that he needed to cast his first glamour charm since last fall.
Harry took a deep breath and focused, making sure it wasn't noticeable when he finished.
He took a deep breath as he admired his work and then he went upstairs.
"I'm going to shower," Harry said as he shut the door to the basement.
"Harry, wait!" Remus said. He came out of the kitchen and Harry froze.
"How are you doing?" Remus asked.
Harry shrugged. "'M alive."
"That's good," Remus reminded him with a smile.
Harry shrugged and looked away. "I'm just angry right now. I'll talk, but not right now. Okay?"
Remus nodded. "Alright. I'll check on you a bit, okay?"
"Okay," Harry agreed.
"And I charmed the water so it can't be too hot!" Remus added as Harry walked away.
Harry mumbled a swear word under his breath and hurried to the bathroom. He quickly shut and locked the door behind him. He took off the glamour and thanked Merlin that Remus didn't notice.
Harry started the shower and stripped off his sweaty clothes. He went in and while he wished he could get the water hotter, even he knew that this was hot enough. Harry winced and then smiled as the water ran over his scratches. He savored the feeling before once again standing under the water. He took some deep breaths and finally relieved some of the tension he was holding.
He did understand that his parents were worried for him, truly. He just wanted them to see where he was coming from. Looking down at his arm, Harry felt a pang of guilt.
He hadn't done a glamour charm in so long and he knew that he should've confessed to Moony, but he didn't want that conversation! He didn't want to talk right now.
Harry groaned and leaned against the shower wall, squeezing his eyes shut. He stayed there, allowing the water to wash his sins away until there was a knock at the door.
"Harry? Are you alright?"
"I'm okay, Moony Da," Harry replied, regretfully standing back up and reaching for the soap.
"Just checking. Holler if you need anything," Remus said, a slightly worried tone to his voice.
"Okay," Harry agreed, getting back to his shower.
Harry didn't take too much longer but sprinted from the shower to his room like Hedwig's life depended on it. He quickly got dressed and threw on a cardigan so his arms were covered. He made his way onto his bed and picked up a Quidditch magazine to read. He stiffened when there was a knock on the door.
"Come in," Harry said, trying to keep his voice steady.
"Oh, hey Draco," Harry breathed, relieved.
"Hey, Harry. I just wanted to check on you from earlier. Snape gave me a talking to and I'm sure yours was way worse than mine." Draco shut the door behind him and sat down in the chair in Harry's bedroom.
Harry winced. "We did get into it. I'm avoiding the rest of it right now," he admitted.
"I don't blame you," Draco said. He opened his mouth to say more, but he narrowed his eyes. "Why are you wearing a cardigan?"
"Ah, I was cold getting out of the shower. And my hair is wet, y'know," Harry said, trailing off.
"I don't buy it," Draco said, bluntly. "Roll up your sleeves."
"Draco!" Harry hissed, blushing. He tried to think of something to say but kept tripping over his words.
"Do it," Draco warned, standing up and walking toward Harry's bed.
Harry looked down and sighed, his face flushed with embarrassment and shame.
Draco sat on the edge of Harry's bed. "Harry, you don't have to be ashamed. I know you're working hard to control it. I just want to make sure you're okay," Draco said, softening his voice.
Harry looked up and saw that Draco's face was earnest.
Harry nodded and put his head down again before raising the sleeve on his left arm.
Draco switched the side of the bed he was on and gingerly took Harry's arm into his own.
"These aren't too bad," Draco murmured as he assessed the damage. "These aren't bad at all," he said louder, looking at Harry's face. "Did you use your nails?"
Harry nodded.
"I'm glad you didn't use any object. I'm proud of you," Draco said, putting Harry's arm down.
"Thanks, but I still did it," Harry said.
"Yeah, but clearly you were triggered with something," Draco argued.
"Just so angry. They don't get it! I am a Horcrux! I don't just want to help- I need to!"
"Have you told them that?" Draco asked.
"I've tried! They're just worried!"
"Well of course they are!" Draco exclaimed.
Harry looked at Draco in confusion.
Draco shook his head and smiled. "Harry, you mean everything to them. You're doing so much better, but they know what has happened in the past. Besides, no one else has been a Horcrux before. Good or bad, they're just trying to protect you."
Harry sighed. "When did you become a wise Ravenclaw."
"You wish," Draco said, elbowing Harry lightly.
"Ugh," Harry said, putting his hands over his face. "What am I going to do."
"Tell them what you told me," Draco urged him.
"They're not gonna listen. Can you just heal my scratches?"
Draco winced. "You won't like this, either."
"What is it?" Harry asked, not liking the tone Draco's voice had.
"I think you should tell Remus."
"Draco!" Harry whined.
"I'm afraid if I heal it you're not going to tell him."
Harry swore because Draco was right.
Draco smirked. "If I heal it, will you talk to him?"
Harry was silent, debating it. He really didn't want to tell Remus, but he knew that he'd rather have Draco heal them than Remus.
"Fine," Harry finally agreed, albeit reluctantly.
"Hold out your arm," Draco requested softly.
Harry held out his arm and Draco waved his wand over the scratches, mumbling some words, and slowly Harry's scratches faded.
"There. Good as new," Draco said, admiring his work.
"Thanks, Healer Malfoy," Harry said.
"Ha, maybe one day," Draco said, waving off the compliment.
"I know you'll get there. How's it all going?"
Draco went on to talk about the books he was reading and the potions he was practicing with Snape, as well as what he was doing with Madame Pomfrey.
Eventually, Sirius popped his head in to tell him that Snape was calling him to dinner.
"I gotta go, but we'll talk tomorrow, yeah?" Draco said.
"Sounds good. See you."
"See you," Draco waved.
"Our supper will be in about twenty minutes, don't forget to wash up," Sirius said after Draco had walked out.
"Sounds good, thanks," Harry agreed. Harry thought about his and Draco's conversation and all the events of the day and then it was time to wash up for supper.
Dinner conversations were kept pretty light, knowing that after dinner conversations were going to be the opposite.
Harry didn't eat a ton because of his nerves. He knew he would have to keep talking about Horcrux hunting and he would have to bring up his scratches from earlier.
"Are you sure you're alright, Harry?" Remus asked as Sirius cleared the table.
Harry zoned back in and noticed that he was playing with his sleeve. "Yeah, uh, sorry. I'm good."
Remus nodded but wasn't convinced. "Why don't we head to the sitting room then, hm?"
Harry nodded and dragged his feet before plopping himself down on the couch.
"It's a conversation, not an execution, Harry," Remus reminded him with a small smile.
"It feels like one!" Harry groaned, covering his face.
"And why do you think that is?"
"Because it's so uncomfortable! I try to explain some things to you but I feel like we just kick the topic until it's dead! We don't seem to understand each other!"
Remus hummed and nodded and Sirius came and joined them, standing next to Remus. "Well, we are both calm now and we are open to hearing your point of view."
Harry nodded and took a deep breath before starting to explain. He told them what he told Draco and explained why it was so important to him.
"I feel as though I'm at the center of this whole war and this whole search. I deserve to have a role," Harry said, finishing making his point.
Remus and Sirius nodded. "That makes sense," Sirius said.
"Wait, really?" Harry asked, taken aback.
"Of course! I would've felt the same way at your age. I may not approve of your actions, but I can't fault your logic, can you, Moony?"
"No. You make sense. Do you understand how worried we become?" Remus asked.
Harry shrugged.
"You are our everything. We promised your parents we would keep you safe and we don't feel like we're keeping you safe if we just let you go out and look for a random item that contains a piece of soul of the darkest wizard ever."
"Yeah, okay that's fair," Harry had to agree.
It was quiet while they all thought and digested what was said until Remus spoke up. "How about this? Harry, we will allow you to research what the items might be, but we don't want you going looking for a Horcrux without Dadfoot, Grandad, Grandma Min, Professor Snape, or myself. Deal?"
"Deal," Harry quickly agreed. It was way more than he expected and he had to admit that it was dangerous.
"That wasn't as bad as I thought it would be," Harry admitted.
"Things are much easier discussed and talked out when everyone is calm," Remus pointed out.
"Yeah, that makes sense," Harry said, rubbing the back of his neck.
"C'mere, Cub," Remus said, gesturing to the space between him and Sirius."
Harry shuffled in between his parents and both of them wrapped an arm around him.
"You are our everything. We love you so much and always want the best for you. We love you."
"I love you too," Harry replied, hugging them.
"Now, why don't we do something fun, hm? Maybe a muggle board game?"
"Monopoly!" Harry suggested gleefully. He loves the game, but he loves seeing Sirius and Remus go at it during the game even more.
Sirius and Remus squinted their eyes at each other. "Too chicken, Padfoot?"
"In your dreams, Moony!"
"Yes!" Harry cried, punching his arm up in the air and jumping.
As Remus and Sirius were setting up, Harry remembered his promise to Draco. He quickly pushed it away because he was so desperate to have fun, especially fun with his parents. He didn't think he has felt this good since he played Quidditch with the team.
"You alright, Harry?" Remus asked as he brought over a bowl of snacks.
"Yeah, I'm good. I was just deciding which father is going to survive this game," Harry said cheekily.
"You know it's me," Remus said, winking.
"I will use all my Slytherin tactics and ANNIHILATE you, Remus Lupin," Sirius said as he sorted out the money.
"Funny. He never has any ounce of Slytherin in him until it comes to cunning pranks or Monopoly," Remus said loudly to Harry.
"Remus Lupin," Sirius stage gasped.
"Bite me," Remus replied, turning to Sirius.
"Still in the room!" Harry said loudly, covering his eyes.
Sirius and Remus laughed and Sirius threw a pillow at Harry. "Can you get us some water, please?"
"Sure," Harry chuckled, heading to the kitchen. When he returned, Remus and Sirius were both in their spots and Harry took his.
They each took their usual piece. Remus is the thimble, Harry is the shoe, and Sirius is obviously the dog.
"Do you remember why I picked the show?" Harry asked.
"Yes, of course. It was because you said you could "run fast"," Sirius chuckled.
"I was seven!" Harry defended himself.
"And why are you the dog, Sirius?" Remus teased.
Sirius quickly popped into Padfoot to nip Remus before changing back.
"What'd you say?" Sirius asked, blinking innocently.
Remus turned to him and growled and Harry stopped them, putting his hands up.
"Okay, okay. The game hasn't started yet. I've lost one dad, I don't want to lose another so don't kill each other."
"Hey, you know we're just teasing," Remus reminded him warmly.
"Mostly," Sirius added.
"Sirius!" Remus hissed, making a face.
"It's fine. Can we just get started?"
"As soon as I make it clear that "I'm fine" and "It's fine" are both banned in our house."
Harry groaned. "Really, Moony Da?"
"Yes, and we won't even start the game if we need to discuss about this. You used it earlier and you're using it again. No 'it's fine."
"Fine," Harry agreed tight-lipped.
Remus raised his eyebrow and Harry let out a hot breath.
"Harry, youngest goes first!" Sirius said, handing his godson the dice.
Harry let out a breath and took the dice. "Let's take him down," Harry said to Sirius.
"Yes! I have Harry!" Sirius said gleefully.
Remus just shook his head. "Now I'm the bad guy."
"Rems, lemme ask you, does tough love therapy normally work over a game of family Monopoly?"
Remus sighed.
"Yeah, I thought so," Sirius said as Harry moved the pieces.
The game went well. Within a few turns, Harry had mostly forgotten Remus' new rule (but it's fine). Sirius and Remus were going at it like cats and dogs (or werewolves and dogs?).
The game continued and Sirius was winning (much to his glee) when they decided to call it two hours later. It was getting late and it was time to go to bed.
"Thanks for playing," Harry said as he picked up the box to put it back on the shelf.
"It was fun," Remus said, ruffling Harry's hair.
"YOU MAY ALL BOW DOWN TO ME!" Sirius said, a blanket wrapped around his shoulders like a cape and holding a candlestick holder like a scepter.
"You insufferable prat!" Remus said, shaking his head.
Sirius just started humming "God Save the King" and marched around in a circle.
"Dadfoot!" Harry laughed, holding his stomach. "Stop it!"
Sirius waited until he dramatically finished the song and then said, "I am a loving king who respects his people, even if they do lose."
Harry lunged toward Sirius now and pulled off the blanket. Sirius then started tickling Harry who was unable to get away. They both ended up on the floor laughing.
"That was fun, Harry. Thanks," Sirius said in his normal voice once he caught his breath.
"I love you, Dadfoot," Harry said.
"I love you too. Now, I think we all have to get to bed," Sirius said, standing up and reaching out a hand for Harry.
"G'night, moony Da. G'night, Dadfoot," Harry said as he hugged them. "I love you."
"Love you too, Pup."
"Love you too. Sweet dreams!"
Harry gave them a warm smile before he made his way to his bathroom to brush his teeth and wash his face before making his way to bed.
Harry had tried to fall asleep for a little less than 10 minutes before his eyes shot open. He still didn't live up to his promise to Draco.
Part of him wanted to not tell Remus. It would be so easy to just lie, and he purposely didn't tell Remus so far. However, the thought of lying makes his stomach do somersaults.
Harry groaned and pulled a pillow over his head. "Come on, Potter. Just lie and be done with it," Harry said, muffling his words.
Harry ended up tossing and turning for an hour before he decided to give up and read a book. He tried reading, writing, and heck, even studying before he gave up. He wandered out of his bedroom and into the kitchen where he started to heat some milk for hot chocolate.
Which, of course, only made him feel more guilty because it made him think of Remus.
"Harry?" a voice rang out.
Harry jumped, the wooden spoon flying out of his hand.
They caught it and Harry put his hand over his heart.
"Harry, are you okay?"
It was Remus.
"Moony Da!" Harry said, surprised.
"Yeah. You can't sleep either, huh? Hot chocolate was on my mind, too," Remus said, smiling as he stirred the milk.
"Moony Da, I've got to tell you something," Harry said, the words coming out of his mouth before he could stop them.
Remus heard Harry's stressed and anxious voice. He quickly waved his hand to turn off the stove.
"Of course. What's going on?" Remus asked, his voice full of care and concern.
Harry froze and squeezed his eyes shut. "I hurt myself earlier." He opened his eyes to watch Remus' face.
Remus' face didn't change much, but Harry saw his face shift into therapist mode.
"I appreciate you telling me. That's really brave. Are you safe right now?" Remus asked.
"Yeah," Harry nodded.
"Good," Remus said, giving him a small smile. Remus took a few steps over to the table and urged Harry to sit down. "What happened?"
Harry sighed. "It was after we fought. I went down and used the punching bag, you know that. After we talked down there I just sat there and thought. I got so upset that I broke the charm and scratched my arms. I didn't even realize it at first. But then I did and-"
Harry stopped, ashamed. He turned away and put his head down.
"I'm listening," Remus reminded him softly.
"I feel so bad," Harry whispered, shaking his head.
"I'm not judging you. I'm not angry or disappointed. I'm here to help. You don't have to feel ashamed. You are doing really well."
Harry didn't necessarily agree with his father, but took a deep breath and continued.
"I didn't realize it at first, as I said. But when I did, I just kept going. I was so thankful to just feel something that wasn't anger. It didn't bleed or anything- there were just red scratches. And then I took a shower and it felt good in there, too. Gosh! Why am I like this?!" Harry said, standing up and throwing his arms up.
"You are trying to survive. You don't like feeling angry and unsafe. Those are normal feelings. You're doing what you can to help yourself feel better," Remus said, putting a hand on his shoulder.
"Yeah. I guess," Harry said, shrugging off his hand and sitting back down again. "Anyway. When Draco came in to see me he knew something was off. He made me roll up my sleeves and saw my scratches. We talked about it. Anyway, he wouldn't heal them unless I promised to talk to you about it. I did. But I still didn't want to talk to you. I just wanted to keep it to myself. But as you can see here, I couldn't sleep and it's been bugging me ever since!"
Remus smiled and reached out to brush Harry's hair away from his face. "I'm really proud of you for telling me. That's so brave. You've still got a pretty strong conscience, there. You should be proud of that."
"It's just bloody annoying!" Harry groaned, standing up.
"I do appreciate you telling me. And I'm glad Draco was helpful. How are you feeling now?" Remus asked.
"Better. I feel guilty I did it and didn't tell you, but I talked to Draco and then we resolved the whole Horcrux situation earlier. And we had a really good night. My mood is okay right now. It's pretty good, except for feeling guilty."
"Your feelings are valid. I understand why you feel guilty about scratching yourself. I also want to remind you to be kind to yourself. You are doing what you can to survive and that's admirable. We'll keep working on those coping mechanisms, kay?" Remus said as he stood up and gently brought Harry's face to meet his own.
Harry nodded.
"As for not telling me, I think your conscience won out there. I am glad you told me. I'm not mad, either. I just hope you know that no matter how angry you are with us or what was said, we are always, always here for you."
"And I know that! I do! I just wanted relief and I felt like I was too far gone-"
Remus rarely interrupts, but he did this time. "Harry James, listen to me very carefully."
Harry nodded, hearing the serious tone in Remus' voice.
"You are never, ever too far gone. Nothing you do or say can ever put you over the edge. You always have a choice and you always can get help. You are never too far gone. I am always here ready to help you. I love you. Do you understand?"
"Yes, Moony Da," Harry said, nodding.
Remus smiled at him. "Good. You get me anything, okay? I am proud of you for telling me. Can I give you a hug?"
Harry nodded and threw himself around Remus. "Merlin, I love you so so much, Moony Da."
"I love you too, Cub, I love you so much."
They stayed together for a long time before Harry finally pulled away. "Moony Da? Aren't you going to talk about it more?"
Remus let out a small chuckle. His son knew him so well. "We can talk more about it in our session tomorrow," Remus said pointedly, already letting know Harry was going to meet with healer Lupin tomorrow. "But I think that 1 am is a better time to sleep than talk, yes?"
Harry nodded but admitted, "I haven't been able to sleep."
"I think some hot chocolate and getting this off your chest will be able to help."
Remus once again waved his hand. The milk heated up and the chocolate was added before it was poured into two mugs that floated out of the cupboard.
"Man, I love magic," Harry breathed, wiping a stray tear off his face.
"Me, too," Remus said, smiling warmly at Harry.
The mugs floated into their hands and Remus led them to Harry's room.
"You know, Switzerland does have some very good hot chocolate," Remus said once they were both settled into Harry's bed.
"Yeah?" Harry asked as he sipped his beverage, leaning back in bed.
"Mmhmm. Sirius and I went there as part of our honeymoon. It was rather decadent."
Harry nodded and yawned. "Moony Da, did you put anything in here?"
"Only love," Remus smiled.
"Then why amI so tired all of a sudden?" Harry asked.
Remus smiled. "Hot chocolate and the truth does that to you."
Harry hummed and took another large sip of his hot chocolate before setting it down and finding a comfortable pillow in Remus.
"Shh, I've got you, Cub. You're safe. Close your eyes," Remus whispered, setting down his hot chocolate and running his fingers through Harry's hair.
"Love you," Harry murmured with his eyes closed.
"I love you, too. Go ahead and get on your broom. I've got you."
Harry did as Remus said and felt safer than he had in weeks. Maybe there was something to telling the truth.
Ah, time will tell.
Alternatives to harming yourself:
1. Talk to someone you care about and/or trust
2. Exercise
3. Get outside and get some fresh air
4. Have a warm beverage
5. Write something down
6. Go to therapy/ contact your therapist
7. Be with your pet or another animal
8. Take a nap
9. Play or fiddle with a fidget
10. Do something artistic (draw, paint, use clay, play-doh, fingerpaint, etc)
11. Play a game
12. Bake or cook something you like to eat
13. Mindfulness, breathing exercises, meditation (variety of strategies including naming something of each color of the rainbow, 5, 4, 3, 2,1 with your senses, box breathing, rainbow breathing, 5 finger breathing, etc)
14. Listen to music
15. Ice cubes (hold them, put them where you want to harm yourself)
Suicide Hotlines:
USA: 988 (press 1 for veterans)
Canada: 1 (833) 456 4566
France: 0145394000
Italy: 800860022
UK: 0800 689 5652
Brazil: 188
India: 9999 666 555
(If you would like a particular country listed, feel free to comment or dm me)