'Why does it always turn out like this?'
"Save the leftover points? You've got to be joking." Kushida replied with a smile on her face as I asked her and the rest of our classmates. I wanted to save the little remaining S-Points that we had left. I even went out of my way to recommend Deku to make sure that we don't spend them all, but he was pressured by Kushida to buy that bathroom. It's not that I had no desire for it, but-
"Don't you understand? Those points are special. Professor Chabashira already confirmed that to be true. They could be beneficial to- I spoke but before I could finish, I was cut off by Kushida.
"Beneficial to reach Class A? It seems like you are the one who doesn't understand. We're already Class A. So, why else would we need to keep those points?" Kushida asked as she maintained that fake smile on her face. For some reason, she hates me. I have yet to figure out why but that much is obvious with the way she acts around me. Though I don't think Deku and the others have noticed it yet. But even still-
"What if one of us were threatened with expulsion again? We could use the S-Points to make sure that they remain in the class." I argued but even though my arguments were sound, no one was agreeing with me. In fact, they-
"I would like to agree with you Horikita. But will fifty S-Points even mean anything against the threat of expulsion? They could be a thousand times worth the number of regular points, and they would amount to five thousand. Is it really worth it if that's the case?" Hirata argued with a serious look on his face. I clicked my tongue. Kushida noticed this and smiled.
"It's like Hirata~Kun says. We don't need those S-Points. So, we might as well use them all. Right, everyone?" Kushida asked while maintaining that annoyingly fake smile on her face as there were no objections to be heard. I noticed Sudo with a solemn look on his face as it looked like he wanted to argue in my defense, but he couldn't find the right words to use. Even still, I couldn't stand this.
"Then it's settled! Once Deku comes back with the firewood then we'll use the rest of the points to get ourselves something tasty! Who's in the mood for some cake?" Kushida asked but I wasn't amused in the slightest. So, I began walking away. Kushida noticed this.
"Hey, where do you think you're going?" Kushida asked as I couldn't stand to look at her hideous smile anymore.
"I'm going to go shower by the waterfall. I'm not your leader. So, it's not like any of you need me here. Go ahead and use the rest of the S-Points for all I care." I replied before walking away from everyone and isolating myself from other people once more as I have done many times in the past.
Eventually, I made my way to the waterfall, which thankfully wasn't being held hostage by any of the other classes this time around. I then stripped until I was left in my undergarments before I made my way into the waterfall.
'Drip. Drip. Drip.' I felt the cold water fall onto me. It was quite refreshing and just what I needed to cool off after not being understood for who knows how many times at this point in my life. But just thinking about that, brought me back to the titular question begun everything-
'Why does it always turn out like this?' I found myself wondering about that question time and time again throughout my life. Now is yet another one of those countless times when I'm faced with the same dilemma. But how did it come to this you may ask? To answer that question, I must start at the beginning-
"…" I found myself staring at the class before me. Not the class I was currently part of in at this moment, but the very first class I enrolled in all the way back in grade school. It was my first time being in a classroom, so I was overwhelmed by everything. In hindsight, it might have been the same for him. I probably wouldn't have been able to say a word if it wasn't for-
"Don't be shy, Suzu. Introduce yourself." My father always whispered to me words of encouragement such as this. He also always had a big goofy smile on his face. I remember thinking it was the weirdest smile ever. But every time I looked at it, it always made me feel warm inside. As well as-
"Hahaha." Made me laugh every single time without fail. But since I was in a classroom, naturally there were other students, and a teacher there as well. They noticed me giggling.
"Ms. Horikita. For what reason have you started laughing? Shouldn't you be introducing yourself?" The Teacher asked with a stern look on his face as just seeing it almost made me jump out of my skin out of freight. But that didn't last for long. Cause my father was there to protect me.
"Don't worry, my precious daughter only started laughing cause her old man is the funniest guy to ever exist. That's a fact, by the way. But yes, you are quite right. Now go on, Suzu. Tell everyone your name." My father spoke proudly while maintaining his signature smile before putting a hand on my shoulder and in the process letting me know that he was still right there by my side even though I couldn't see him. That's why I wasn't afraid. So, I looked at my very first classmates with a smile of my own. And then…
"My name is-
Chapter 19: Suzune Horikita: Origin
"It's a pleasure to meet all of you. I hope we can do our best together!" I introduced myself while maintaining my smile for the very first time to people my age. At the time I really thought things would end up exactly as I thought they would. But I couldn't see the future. No one could. That was a power that only fictional characters could have. But I was a naïve child at the time. So naïve in fact…
… That I couldn't understand when things didn't go as how I thought they would go.
"Work on the group project together? Um, I don't think so. We still got a week left." One of my classmates replied to me with a confused smile on their face.
'I don't understand.'
"I'm of the same opinion. Plus, I'd much rather hit up the arcade then work on a boring group project." Another one of my classmates replied to me with a confused smile on their face.
'I don't understand!'
"I'd work on it if we had the choice to do it on a fictional character, like Son Goku! He's awesome! But someone real? Nope, don't got any. Sorry, Horikita-San. You understand right?" Yet another one of my classmates replied to me with a confused smile on their face.
"NO! I DON'T UNDERSTAND!" I shouted at the top of my lungs much to the surprise of my classmates. It was then that I gasped as they looked at me like I was a crazy person. The Teacher would have probably been just as surprised if he wasn't outside of the classroom on his scheduled smoke break during lunch. But even still I felt mortified for shouting like that, so I immediately clamped my mouth shut. But my classmates noticed this and one of them in particular donned a wry smile. And then…
"Then let's see what you've got Horikita!" That same person who was a boy my age said before grabbing my backpack and opening it. My backpack was at the back of the classroom. Granted my seat was also near the back but he was able to grab it before I could stop him from doing so.
"What are you doing?! Don't touch that!" I snapped back as I charged at him and attempted to make him let go of my backpack by pulling it away.
"Hey! Let go!" The boy yelled as he pulled my backpack even harder than I was. He was a guy after all, so he was naturally stronger than me. But I'm stubborn so I didn't give up without a fight as I kept pulling it until-
'Bam!' The zipper was unloosened to the point that all of my precious things came flying out and fell onto the floor. I was so shocked that I didn't know how to react. That gave my classmate ample time to get his hands on exactly what he was looking for.
"Got it! This has to be it! Let's see… huh?" The boy said with an excited look on his face until it changed into an expression full of nothing but confusion as he looked over what I wrote down. To explain the school project, we were all assigned had to be done in groups, which meant that I had to rely on my classmates to get the work done. The topic of the project was your own personal hero. The Teacher recommended that we all choose a specific person so that we could all work on something without disagreeing with each other. However, I was feeling impatient and-
"Your father? Why would anyone want to talk about such a boring guy?" My classmate asked with a disinterested look on his face. My eyes shot wide open out of surprise, but I soon glared daggers at him and gritted my teeth. I genuinely couldn't understand how anyone could describe my father as boring. So, I-
"He's not boring!" In a fit of rage, I snapped back before slapping him right across the face. The boy was speechless and didn't move a muscle. Everyone around me was the same. My eyes went wide as I realized what I did. At the time I wasn't really good at controlling my emotions. I was a child after all so something like this was only inevitable. Even still I-
"I'm so- I spoke only to be cut off before I could finish by-
'RIP! RIP! RIP!' The boy who, to my utmost surprise, began tearing up my essay that I wrote about my father. I had stayed up so late that I barely got any sleep. This was because I wanted to make sure that it was perfect. I wanted everything to flow naturally like a river and the wording to be understandable to anyone who listened. I had no choice but to strive for perfection because I wanted everyone around me to understand how much I looked up to my father. After all he was my-
"Screw your father! I hope he dies!" The boy finished as he let the pieces of my essay fall onto my head like snow as I had already fallen to my knees. I couldn't understand anything that was happening. All I could do was cry my eyes out as my classmates stared at me. This lasted for a little while until the Teacher returned. He noticed me immediately.
"Who made Horikita-San cry?" The Teacher asked with a stern look on his face. My classmates froze upon seeing the look on his face or so I assumed because I was still crying. But that didn't last for long as they all pointed at the boy who was the culprit behind everything.
"And why would you go out of your way to upset Horikita-San?" The Teacher asked with an annoyed look on his face.
"She started! All I wanted was to see what she wrote for the school project! But she slapped me for it! Can you believe her?!" The boy yelled out with an aggravated look on his face as he twisted the story to make it seem like he was the victim. That liar.
"Horikita-San. Is this true?" The Teacher asked but I didn't want to respond to that. So, all I said was-
"… I just wanted everyone to understand why my father is my hero." I muttered with a frown on my face. But even though my voice was barely audible, the Teacher picked up on what I said.
"Hero? … Ha… Oh. For the school project you mean." The Teacher replied as my eyes went wide. It was unmistakable. He laughed at me. Why?! Why can't anyone understand?!
"Horikita-San. Wait. Where are you- The Teacher spoke but I cut him off before he could finish as I ran out of the classroom and slammed the door behind me as tears fell down from my cheeks. I cried, and cried, and cried some more until before I knew it, I was back home. I opened the front door and saw my older brother, Manabu.
"Hey, Suzu. Huh?! What's wrong?! Suzu?!" Manabu yelled out, but I ran past him and made my way to my room and locked the door behind me. He tried to open my door to no avail. But I wasn't going to open it. I wanted to be alone. Even from my precious Onii-Chan. But he didn't stop. He must have knocked on my door a hundred times before he gave up. At last, there was silence, and I might as well have been completely alone in the world. But-
'Why? Why can't anyone understand?' I muttered to myself in between sobs as being isolated from the world only brought forth an unfathomable amount of loneliness that only made me feel much worse. Hours passed by that felt more akin to days as I thought my suffering would never end. But then…
'Clink.' My door was unlocked as my eyes shot wide open. My brother didn't have a key to my room. No one did but my-
"Suzu. Your teacher called me saying that you ran away while class was being held. He sounded frantic and very worried. To be honest, I feel the same way. Why would you do such a thing?" My Father asked as he made his way toward me before sitting on the side of my bed. But I couldn't take it anymore. So, I-
"Daddy!" I yelled out before getting out of the plethora of blankets that I placed on me and wrapped my arms around his waist. My father was so surprised by this that he probably didn't know how to respond. It was only natural as this would be akin to a jump scare from a horror movie. But even still he-
"There, there, Suzu. Tell me everything." My Father whispered while patting me on the head. I did exactly as he said as he took a moment to process everything, I told him. Which meant that silence persisted in my room until-
"I understand. I really appreciate you going out of your way to write an essay about me. I'm honored to be your hero, Suzu. But I'm not that cool. So, I can understand where your classmate was coming from. In fact, I'm pretty boring." My Father admitted with his signature goofy smile. But this made me mad.
"Eh?! No, you're not! You are the coolest!" I replied while pouting with was without a shadow of a doubt an annoyed look on my face. My father noticed this and maintained his smile. And then…
"Hahaha… then let me show you someone who's super cool! Far more awesome than your old man is!" My Father laughed before opening his bag and pulling something out. It looked like a magazine. But not quite.
"What's that?" I asked with was undoubtably a confused look on my face. My father understood this because this item was not made in Japan. It was from-
"It's a comic book. Think of it like a Manga, but this is different. It might have far less pages than the typical Tankobon but the tradeoff is that it's in full color! Take a look!" My Father asked while grinning from ear to ear. There was a man with short black hair in a red and blue spandex with a dashing red cape and an 'S' on the center of his chest. I had no clue who it was, so I looked at the title above him which I assumed was supposed to be his name.
"Supaman?" I muttered as I tilted my head out of confusion with a face that matched that feeling. The title was in English, and I hadn't yet learned to read that language, so I definitely butchered the pronunciation.
"Close. This hero right here is called Superman. He's an American superhero and in your old man's opinion the best superhero to ever exist! You see, Suzu, most superheroes have outrageous superpowers that allow them to do a whole wide variety of things! But Superman doesn't have that. Sure, he is definitely strong, fast, practically invulnerable, can hear anything, can see through walls…" My father explained as he contradicted himself and rambled on and on. In response, all I could do was blink my eyes a few times out of sheer surprise over that laundry list of superpowers. My father noticed this and knew he got carried away before laughing awkwardly.
"However, while all of that is impressive. His best power of all and what really gives him his strength is his courage. Courage is what gives everyone the strength to do things that seem like they are impossible but are actually possible when you put your mind to it. Never forget that Suzu. Oh, I almost forgot, he can fly too." My Father replied with his usual goofy smile that made it crystal clear that he was a massive fan of the character.
"Hahaha." It made me giggle a bit. My father noticed this and laughed with me.
"You see, this is why your father is boring. I'm nothing more than a certified fanboy. Now, Superman, he's awesome! His courage allows him to save people and beat the bad guys! But don't mistake him for a god. Even Superman has lost people that he loved. But every time he lost someone; it only made him that much stronger. That's why you should tell everyone about Superman! I'm sure your classmates will think he's the coolest!" My Father replied while maintaining his goofy smile.
"Unfortunately, the school project can only be done on people that are real." I replied bluntly, much to my father's surprise.
"Well, that sucks! No wonder your classmates didn't want to do it. But I'm sure you and your classmates will think of something. And if not, I'll give you tons of ideas if you are struggling to agree with them!" My Father replied while closing his eyes and grinning. I know my father didn't think much about himself. But to me he really was the coolest. I only wished-
"If only you were there with me then I'd be able to do anything." I admitted with a small smile of my own. My father noticed this and put a hand on my shoulder before handing me the comic book.
"Huh?" I muttered with a confused look on my face as I couldn't understand why my father was giving this to me. This had to be something that was precious to him! So why would he-
"It's exactly for that reason I'm giving it to you. Suzu, I'm only human and I can't always be by your side. I'd love to spend more time with you, but I have to support you and Manabu as well as be there for your mother along with my job. It's not easy but I wouldn't have it any other way. However, whenever you're feeling down, try thinking of Superman. Granted he might only be fictional, but what he represents, is something that is truly inspirational." My Father explained as I accepted the comic book. And then…
"I'll make sure to take good care of it." I replied while holding the comic book close to my chest. This made my father smile.
"I'm sure you will." My Father replied to me as he patted me on the head once more before leaving my room and shutting the door behind me. After that, I found myself reading that comic again and again. Even though it was barely longer than the average weekly Manga chapter, and it was certainly man decades old, I found myself enamored with it. Especially a specific line that stood out to me. It was-
'A hero can do anything he sets his mind to!' A line that Superman spoke before punching the villain right in the face! Even though the characters were fake and would never come to exist in the real world, I was astonished by it all. I couldn't help myself. To me it was all so-
"… Cool." I muttered to myself while rereading that specific part for the umpteenth time way past my bedtime with the covers draped over me. That sense of awe would never go away no matter how many times I read it. I was so impressed that I wanted to read more. I wanted to know more about the superhero named Superman so I was hoping that my father would lend me more issues of his comic book series.
However, I would only find out later that the comic my father gave me was incredibly rare. The 'Superman' comics hadn't been produced since the Second World War. Sometime after that, DC Comics went bankrupt, along with several other comic book companies such as Timely Comics. They along with the other noteworthy comic book publishers would all be replaced by a single one called Vought Comics.
Vought Comics was a subsidiary of the larger Vought International which was the American corporation that marketed America's titular superhero team, 'The Seven.' The fictional heroes of old such as Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman faded into obscurity long ago and were replaced by 'real' superheroes such as Homelander, Black Noir, and Queen Maeve who all happened to exist in the real world and were the most popular members of The Seven.
I attempted reading one of the issues of the 'Homelander' series (Which was based on the number one hero from America) Only to be incredibly dissatisfied by what I read. I tried reading several others like the 'Black Noir' and the 'A-Train' comics, but I couldn't stomach them after the first few pages. This made me push down my admiration of superheroes for a long while until I met a certain somebody. But even still, I was about to ask my father about where I could get my hands on more Superman comics when-
'Bam.' Suddenly he collapsed. It was all so very sudden that I didn't know how to react. I thought that maybe it was just one of his usual pranks and that he would get right back up and say, 'I meant to do that!' With that goofy smile on his face. But when I looked at him, he wasn't smiling.
"D-Daddy?" I muttered with what was surely a confused look on my face. My mother who was in the other room came walking in and noticed this.
"Suzune?! What are you doing!? Call 911!" My mother commanded me as I ran to where the house phone was located and did exactly that while she was giving my father CPR. But I wasn't too worried. I genuinely believed that my father was going to be okay. He might not believe that he's a superhero, but he is to me. That's why I'm sure that he'll be ok-
"Ms. Horikita. I regret to inform you that your husband has passed away. It was from a very severe case of food poisoning. You both have my condolences." The Doctor spoke as I couldn't understand any of it. No. I think I understood perfectly but I refused to accept that any of this was real. My mother noticed this and was angered to her very core. And then…
'Slap!' She slapped me across the face in a fit of rage. My mother had been crying her eyes out for about a minute but in the midst of that I hadn't shed a single tear. She couldn't understand that. That's why she-
"Why aren't you crying?! Did you even care about your father!? Don't you understand that he's dead?! What the hell is wrong with you?" My mother yelled out with a look of unadulterated rage on her face. At the time I couldn't grasp her feelings in the slightest. But in hindsight, I understand that I must have seemed like I didn't care in the slightest.
"Ma'am! Calm yourself! She's just a child!" The Doctor yelled out as he tried to calm my mother down. But his words only lit the fuse that made her anger burn a thousand times hotter.
"It's exactly because she is my child that I can't understand her! Why the hell is she not crying?! Suzune, do you understand a word I'm saying?! Your father is gone! He's never coming back! Does that not upset you in the slightest?" My mother yelled out as tears fell down her cheeks. But it was then that the same thing happened to me as I could no longer deny the truth any longer. So, I couldn't help but cry my eyes out as the realization that this wasn't a nightmare, and my father had died hit me like a speeding truck.
Ever since then I have found difficulty trying to make friends. I grew quieter and I would only speak whenever I was either called upon by the Teacher or desired to answer a question that they asked the class. This made my classmates think I was some weirdo, and they kept their distance from me. But I didn't mind that. I didn't ask to be their friend. I didn't need any friends. All I needed was my brother.
"Onii-Chan! I got a perfect score on my literature test!" I spoke with a smile on my face as I showed my brother the white sheet of paper with a 'A+' written with red ink. Even at the time I knew that my brother received the same score on his literature test. It's not like I was trying to brag about it. Not in the slightest. I wanted to be just like him. So, I copied him.
I ended up doing a lot of the same things he did. I got the same grades, I ate the same foods, I even adopted his style of talking which was blunt and to the point. My brother must have noticed me mimicking him because one day, he started to avoid me. Every time that I was in the same room as him, he would keep his distance and leave soon afterwards. I couldn't understand. That's why I confronted him about it. But to my utmost surprise-
"Suzune. You need to stop trying to always be just like me. Every time I see it, it makes me sick to my stomach. Just stop acting like me, okay?" Manabu asked as I couldn't understand what he was saying. No. It was just like back then when father had died. I refused to understand it. So, I played dumb.
"I-I'm not trying to act like you. I just want- I spoke but I was cut off before I could finish speaking.
"But you are. Every single time you try to do something, you always think 'How would Onii-Chan do that?' I know I'm right. But it doesn't have to be that way any longer. We might be siblings, but I don't really think of you as my sister. So, no matter how many grades that you receive that are deemed exceptional by your peers, to me…" Manabu replied as his words had an edged tip to them and they hit me like arrows. But he stopped speaking for a few seconds until he-
"… You're nothing more than a failure." Manabu finished as he delivered the finishing blow. He then walked away as I was left there all alone once more. I wouldn't end up seeing him after that till we met again at Advanced Nurturing High School. I purposely enrolled in the same school he did. Not because I wanted to copy him, but because I wanted to find out exactly why he hated me. I needed to find that answer that only he would be able to give me. That was my sole reason for coming to this school. And yet…
… He has made it practically impossible for me to ask him that question. I was only able to speak with him alone that one night and I couldn't find the courage to ask him that question.
'Brother… I'm not the failure I was back then. I came here to catch up with you.' So, I lied. I tried to act like I was only enrolling in AN with the sole purpose of getting into Class A. But the truth is, I couldn't care less about that. All I ever wanted was for my brother to love me. But now he thinks of me as nothing more than a failure. I couldn't understand his line of reasoning which made me pursue him even further. But in the process of doing so that has only had the exact opposite effect that I intended.
'You must learn…' My Brother had never once struck me before but for a second, I genuinely thought he was going to hit me. When was it things change between us? We used to be so close. He might have been my brother but to me he was also my hero. We had a lot of the same interests and even did a lot of the same things together well before I started copying him. But the only reason I did that was because I felt us drifting apart. I wanted to remind him that nothing has changed so things could still be like how they used to be.
'My little sister assigned to Class D… and I'm the one who bears the shame of it. Leave this school right now.' But somewhere down the line he changed. My Brother might have thought I changed because I started acting like him. But that couldn't be further from the truth. Sure, I isolated myself from others but in the end, I was still his sister. But for some reason, he can't see me that way anymore. But when and how did that happen? That's what I must find out. I can't let anything stop me from doing that.
'Maybe now, he'll notice me.' I thought internally as the water rushed down my hair and I returned back to reality. It was then that I realized I completely lost track of time thinking about the past. I have to dry off and get out of here so that I can-
'BZZZZZZZZZZT!' A loud ringing noise punctured my ears as I instinctively covered them. I was more than startled. But it wasn't as if I hadn't heard that noise before. It was the same noise that was used to alert my classmates as well as the other classes that they were to report to the front of the island for rollcall. But this was different, it wasn't 8 AM nor 8 PM. Not once had that noise been heard aside from those two specific times…
… Until now.
"THIS IS NOT A DRILL. THERE HAS BEEN A SIGHTING OF A BLACK BEAR. ALL STUDENTS MUST REPORT BACK TO THE FRONT OF THE ISLAND RIGHT NOW. I REPEAT… THIS IS NOT A DRILL." The voice on the loudspeaker commanded. But this didn't make any sense. This island was supposed to be uninhabited! How can a bear be here?!
'Drip. Drip. Drip.' But in the midst of panicking, the sound of water dripping was audible. However, this was different from the waterfall that I was currently under. I realized that as I looked toward the distance and noticed that it was pouring. I didn't notice this until now since the waterfall was producing a very similar noise. But while taking in this overlooking view, I noticed something in the distance.
"…" I couldn't say a word as that 'thing' was on standing by the trees a few tens of meters away from the waterfall. It was a 'thing' that shouldn't be there. It was 'something' that shouldn't exist. It might have had black skin akin to the common Japanese bear…
… But that was no bear. It was a monster created for the sole purpose of being a punching bag for a superhero. But it was no mistake. Whatever that thing was, was without a shadow of a doubt, real…
… And it noticed me.
'Thump! Thump! Thump!' My heart began beating ferociously as my eyes met with the monster's own set of eyes. The monster had a set of black eyes that penetrated me like blades. As for the rest of his appearance, he was an utterly hulking behemoth, far taller than any man. His head was the shape of a bird's head. He had scars all over his body and tan pants. But the most horrifying part was that his brain was exposed. Maybe I was wrong. That isn't the villain of a comic book…
… That is the killer in a horror movie! I must run! I have to get out of here! Because if I don't… that thing… is going to kill me! But my body felt like stone. I couldn't move a single muscle as I was petrified out of fear. And before I knew it-
'STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! STOMP!' Ran toward me and before I could even blink it had closed the distance. I instinctively shut my eyes knowing that I was about to die. But even still, even though there was no way I'd survive this, I found myself wishing-
'SOMEONE! ANYONE! SAVE ME!' But then…
"SMASH!" Someone yelled out as before I knew it the monster was sent flying into the air and hit several trees in the distance. It was then that I noticed my savior. I immediately recognized him as the costumed hero from the incident last month concerning a sludge monster. I wanted to thank him, but before I could say a single word-
"There's no need to worry, Horikita. Hope has arrived! Because I'm here!" The Hero declared as I was completely taken aback by this sudden turn of events. I had no clue what was about to happen next. But even still…
… I felt a sense of relief that everything was going to turn out okay.
To Be Continued…
Next Chapter: My Hero: Part 2
Go Beyond!
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