30 September 1997
Dudley wished he could be bold and mouthy, like Harry. He had loads of clever things to say, but whenever he got around the magical members of the cottage, he froze up, thinking of all the ways things could go wrong.
So, when Dudley came up with the perfect list of baby names for Tonks and Remus' baby, he couldn't manage to bring it up over dinner. He pictured Harry, blithely chattering away, confident the adults would hang on his every word with admiration. But try as he might, Dudley couldn't copy the Harry that was in his head. I thought of a name for your baby. Too weird. So… got a name for the kid yet? Too casual. Dudley took a sip of his water. They were really good names, though. He had to share them, or the Lupins would name their kid something stupid. Like Remus. Like Nymphadora. What was wrong with these people? he wondered.
Dudley's parents looked tired and stressed. Tonks looked tired and ill. Hestia looked tired and disheveled. Feathers were in her hair, and there was a dropping on her sleeve. Dedalus … wasn't there. Dudley knew he was in the owl tower, listening to the Wireless on his shift. He'd be there for another hour.
Only Remus was wide awake. He vibrated energy, shifting in his seat, straightening his fork and knife, and rearranging all the dishes so they were symmetrical. But, he didn't look happy. The small smile on his face was frozen in place like a robot mouth, and his eyes had a shrewd look in them.
"Think your parents have managed to set up the Fidelius Charm yet?" he asked his wife.
Tonks shook her head and pushed away her plate. "They're bound to have done so by now," she said. "What with the Ministry rounding up Muggleborns. They were safe for a while, because of Mum, but I'm sure they finally listened to reason."
"If they're under the Fidelius Charm, is there any way for you to send word to your mother, to get into the house? I think you could use a break."
Tonks' hair was beige. She ran a hand over her eyes and leaned back in her chair. "Maybe? I'd got my Patronus trained on them, but it might not be able to get through their wards, depending on how they set them up. Besides, I'm fine here. We… didn't leave off all that well." She leaned forward and propped her head on her hands.
"Still… your Mother's a Healer…"
"I KNOW!" she snapped. "Sorry, I mean – I feel fine. I've got the baby book, and my diagnostics show everything's fine, so –"
"I didn't know you'd had a row with your parents," Petunia said. "That sounds rather stressful, but I'm sure they meant well."
Only at mealtimes could Petunia manage to corner Tonks for conversation.
Tonks scrunched her face and said, "It wasn't a row, Petunia. We just… disagreed about some things. I wanted them to go into hiding, and Mum wanted to keep working at the hospital. Dad said he didn't fancy staying in the house and garden indefinitely, and would rather go on the run if it came to it. And said I wouldn't be able to visit if they weren't under stronger wards, and I could help them. And then, well – it all got a bit snarky, and I ended up just leaving for the shops."
Petunia said, ignoring Remus' warning look. "It's difficult to get the people you love to protect themselves, isn't it?" She patted Vernon's hand. "We ourselves weren't sure we should come with you into hiding, back in July." She put on the smile she used for Dudley's teachers. "But we're so relieved we did, aren't we?"
"Yeah," Dudley said. Much as he hated his time at Meadowsweet Cottage, it was better than being killed by Death Eaters or attacked by Dementors.
"Mmmf," said Vernon, which was as close to agreement as he could get.
"Yes, it can be hard when those we love don't seem to care enough about safety," Remus said.
Tonks recoiled and nearly snarled at him. "Don't. You. Start." She stood up. "I am worried enough as it is without you starting in on me about – you know."
Remus threw his napkin on the table and stood himself. With a tense smile, he told the Dursleys and Hestia, "Excuse us, please."
"You're so worried about my parents, are you?" Tonks carried on. "Welcome back, Dr. Jekyll. You're right on schedule. Please kindly go –" and then she threw out some language that made Dudley laugh in spite of himself.
"Let's talk about this in private," Remus said, ignoring his wife's diatribe, and glaring at Dudley for laughing.
"I'm not talking about anything with you right now!" Tonks yelled. "I can't even conjure a Patronus right now, I'm so upset… YOU go ahead and check on my parents, if you care about them so much. If this wasn't just an excuse to start in again on… everything."
Remus glanced at the Dursleys. "Well, I can, but I can't do it right here." He stepped into the corridor.
Dudley heard him say, "Expecto Patronum," and then, "Please go find Ted and Andromeda Tonks and ask them if they are safe." Then he reentered the dining room. He scruffed up the back of his hair and looked at the floor. "Dora… I realize I sounded … well. Just now. I was thinking of Sirius. And, Harry, of course. It wasn't a criticism of you."
Tonks wilted into her chair again. "Yeah, alright. Sorry, everyone." Remus slumped next to her, and she patted his back. But as she did so, her jaw tensed, and her hair flickered. Dudley wondered what had made her so touchy.
After another awkward pause – there were a lot of those now that the Lupins lived in the cottage with them – Hestia asked, "Remus? Not to be a bother, but… can Andromeda or Ted even reply while we're all in here? They were never part of the Order, so…"
"Hard to say," he said. "But I don't know of any other way to try. I'm hoping my Patronus will come back and nod, or something."
At this, Vernon twitched at this reminder of the lack of a reliable communications method among the wizards.
Remus rocked back and forth on his heels and stared out at the sky. "I've been thinking. We oughtn't to all keep staying here. It's – we're not really accomplishing anything from here. The War is going on, out there, and here we all sit. It was all right when we needed to recover from the battle, but now… "
"You'll get no argument from me," Tonks said. "I mean, you've all been very welcoming, Hestia, and… everyone. Maybe too welcoming. But I know it's tight quarters here, so we really aren't planning to stay forever."
"I have a – er – little place. Just one room, not very comfortable. In the country. It's – no place to raise a family, so we couldn't stay there forever, but… if we got it under the Fidelius Charm – we might expand it?" Remus was so tentative, it drove Dudley crazy. Largely because Dudley also had trouble getting his words out.
Inside, Dudley was panicking. While he disliked both Tonks and Remus - and hated the showering and cleaning schedule they needed with seven people - Tonks was his single best chance for getting what he wanted. As a shapeshifter, she could put on any disguise. They (meaning the Dursleys, who hadn't told Tonks of their scheme) had it all planned out. She would have to talk to the insurance agent, disguised as Petunia (or Vernon, if she was in an advanced stage of pregnancy when Snape burned their house down). She would also be the perfect one to arrange for Dudley to sit his A-level exams at another school in the summer. She would also have the easiest time shopping for the various things the Dursleys wanted from normal shops – batteries, safety razors, disinfectant spray, and other essentials. Tonks moving out would mean their only backup was Dedalus, disguised in Dudley's clothes once again, and there was no telling what he would get up to.
"Can't you just stay here? And, if you're going to build up your place anyway, we could expand this one?" He winced inside at the sound of his own voice. He sounded like a complete idiot, but he continued. "What if the Death Eaters attack while you're putting up the Fidelius? We're so close to finding the tracking spell!"
"Fidelius Charm takes three hours at least, Remus. Got to go over the whole perimeter seven times," Dedalus said, coming in from the owl tower. Dudley supposed the Wireless was on a commercial break or something. "Of course, this place took me twelve, what with tramping about, and adding in the river, and dealing with the cliff."
"I'd come with you," Hestia said, rising to replace Dedalus in the tower. "Give you cover. Plus, maybe I should be the Secret Keeper for you. Who knows how long this War is going to drag on, eh?"
Remus flushed. "I – thank you, but I wouldn't dream of it, Hestia. I'll take the risk."
"If you're staying there full-time, though," Dedalus said, "you won't make it more through the summer." His face was slack, and Dudley thought that without his animated smile and bouncy expressions, he looked well over one hundred years old. All the wrinkles and spots caught the shadows.
Hestia swallowed. "Well. We've needed to talk about this for some time, and I don't see why the Dursleys shouldn't hear it. What are we going to do about this place?"
"I'd move out," said Dedalus. "I ought to, by rights, and go back to guarding every other shift. Remus, if you've a little place, what say you set up the Fidelius and I stay there?"
"NO! No, please. I mean, thank you, Dedalus, but it really isn't company-ready." A thin veil of sweat covered Remus' forehead, and Dudley wondered how bad off his place could be. He and Tonks were both messy and drove Petunia into fits with the way they left their tea things about. Remus was a werewolf – maybe the place was littered with old bones. Vampire heads on the wall. That kind of thing.
"It's like one of those logic puzzles, isn't it?" Hestia mused. "Excuse me, everyone, just got to go check on the owls. But – we've got to get Dedalus some time away, somewhere safe. Got to limit the number of people at each place, in case the Keeper dies, and we're stuck in another H.Q. scenario – Secret spread too thin among too many. So…"
Tonks sighed. "So, Hestia, if you'll be our Secret Keeper, Remus or I could be Keeper for Dedalus, and keep the numbers low. I'm hoping my mum will let me be hers, -"
"Of course I'd do it, Dedalus," Remus said.
"But where's Dedalus to go?" Tonks asked. "Ded, what about that cave you were talking about a while back?"
He shook his head. "Fills up at high tide, I'm afraid. Although…"
Vernon interrupted. "We've got a forest full of timber right here, you know." He'd been very impressed with how fast Hestia had constructed the owl tower. "Can't you lot bring over some supplies and slap something together on your land?"
Everyone stared at Vernon.
They kept staring.
"Well, Dedalus?" Hestia smiled from the doorway. "Think we can get your new place up by Christmas?"
"Why not Harry Potter Day?" Dedalus said. "I always did love Halloween."
1 October 1997
It was just after midnight, and Dudley was lying awake, staring at the ceiling while Dedalus snored. He was wondering how he could convince Dedalus to make his home a nice, modern one, and to take on Dudley as a roommate. Electricity. Video games. Television. Computers. All safely tucked away under the Fidelius Charm.
Mum and Dad would be happy in the Cottage, with Hestia, especially if she stuck to the owl tower.
Dudley liked his parents, but he'd got used to being away from them at school. Even when he was home on holiday, he tended to roam the neighborhood with his friends. His parents liked it that way, too, as they said it was good for a young lad to be out and about rather than cooped up at home.
If he lived with Dedalus, he could visit. It would be like being a grown-up, getting his own place with friends.
A tentative knock on his door made Dudley turn his head.
Another knock.
He rolled out of bed and opened the door to his parents.
"Meeting in our room," Petunia whispered. She needn't have whispered – she could have spoken full volume and not be audible over Dedalus' snores.
Dudley shrugged and put on his dressing gown to join his parents in their bedroom.
"Dudley," his father whispered. "The whole thing's falling apart, as you can see. They'll be running off, and we'll still be stuck here. We need to be able to listen to that radio of theirs. We need to be able to go out and about. And they need to take us. And we've got to get them to stop Snape from burning down the house."
"Wait," Dudley said, "I'm confused. I thought –"
His parents waved and gestured frantically for him to keep his voice low.
"I thought you wanted the house burnt," Dudley whispered. "Which was mental, so I'm glad you've changed your minds."
"Well – if he's managed to get our insurance dropped –" Petunia said, "you know he was hinting at it, gloating in that horrid way of his – then we'll lose everything."
Dudley pictured a wizard swooping into an insurance office in robes, aiming his wand at the computers – "Hackius Dursleyus" – and then it's, "I'm sorry sir, but we see you've never been registered with us." Would Snape actually know computers, though? The four magic folk Dudley lived with now hadn't even caught up to the 1890's, let alone the 1990's. And though he'd caught Harry sneaking television all the time, Harry had never managed to get his hands on the computers. Could he even type?
Would Snape know about insurance? On hearing his house had burned, Dedalus had simply dissolved, and had never mentioned needing to file a claim.
Even if Dudley doubted his parents' latest fear, Dudley wasn't going to argue against his parents' new reluctance to have their family home burned.
"Er… so…" Dudley felt his face turning red as his mind spun with conflicting ideas on how to protect the house, get his father another job, get the insurance back, and turn everything back to normal using magic, which he'd been raised to hate.
"So you see," said his mother, "we've simply got to find that nasty tracking spell as soon as we possibly can."
"Hate to do it," his father said, "but it's the only thing standing between us and our freedom." And at that moment, Dudley noticed the piles of books on his parents' nightstands.
At this, Dudley recoiled. He already knew perfectly well that finding the Tracking Spell could make all the difference for them. "I'm already reading round the clock," he said. "My arm hurts. I can barely feel my fingers!" He waggled his hand, showing them the callus on his finger that had formed from all the writing. "My head hurts!"
"We've been working since dinner to pull out the books with all those notes," Petunia said. "And I rounded up more candles into the sitting room, so you have plenty of light."
"Best to take these downstairs, son," his father said. "That way, one of them might see you, hard at work, for them. Burning that midnight oil."
"This is important, Dudley."
His mother had called him Dudley.
Game over.
Grimacing, Dudley tucked as many books under his arm as he could. "So, are the two of you going to sleep, then? While I'm slaving away all night?"
"Of COURSE not, darling! We'll be hard at work, too. See, we've got our own stacks to work through – and there's lots we've found that don't have any of his scribbles, so you needn't bother with them."
Dudley knew there was no point arguing further. Cursing books, magic, and Snape under his breath, he trudged downstairs.
As he transcribed more and more of Snape's notes, Dudley found it easier than he had at first. The scrawled Bundmn? meant "bundimun," which he'd seen in another book was a sort of living mildew creature. And that wasn't Muggle wart, but Mugwort, a kind of weed that Snape liked adding to various potions.
There was no system or order to the wizard's scrawl, as if he used any book he might be reading at the time as a notebook. Potions notes, words for spells, comments on the prose quality, all littered the margins of books of wizarding history, poetry, ancient literatures, and the Dark Arts.
In a book on 17th century Astronomy, Dudley finally found it.
Not the Tracking Spell.
Lupin – werewolf approx. 20 yrs – increase aconite 3x from Belby, decrease orrisroot by 4
Dudley smirked as he dutifully transcribed the note. Thanks, Snape. At least now, he could get Lupin to stop hiding the damn radio. He could hear faint traces of music coming from the Lupins' room, and reckoned Tonks or Remus had a listening shift.
The rest of the book contained notes on when to time harvesting of various ingredients based on the movements of Jupiter and a Freezing Spell for wintergreen berries. Snape's notes made it seem like magic was hardly worth the trouble.
The next book was poems, and the only notes were about Snape bragging about increasing his Apparation distance with the aid of various potions. Bloody hophead, Dudley decided to write that in the margin of the poem book himself. Coca leaf indeed. He tossed it to the side, not caring where it landed.
It crashed into the wall and annoyed Dillon, who hooted and hissed, flapping his useless wings.
"Sorry, Dillon. Best go in the kitchen if you don't want to deal with the noise."
Dillon hissed again and paced the corridor until Dudley realized he was probably hungry.
"Can't hunt, is it? Sorry, forgot about that. Hestia put out food for you, though, didn't you see?"
Maybe Dillon liked catching his own mice, because he hissed again. He continued clicking up and down the corridor.
Distracted from his work, Dudley watched the owl. He'd wanted to teach the parrot some curse words. Dillon was practically swearing, feathers sticking out in all directions.
Dudley got an idea. He untied the soft belt of his dressing gown and headed down to the kitchen, with Dillon angrily stalking after him. "Watch this," he said. He tied one end of the belt around a bar of the small chandelier that hung over the table, and the other end to the bottom rung of a chair so that the belt ran along the chair's side. "You climb it, see?" Dudley made his hands like claws and walked them up the belt up to the chandelier. "So you can be up high, if you want."
Dillon cocked his head to one side, that freakish way that owls had, as if their neck was a ball bearing. He flapped his wings, and whacked Dudley's leg. Dudley moved out of his way, and Dillon climbed the rope. Tonks had extinguished the candles after dinner, or he'd have been singed, but now he could sit in the middle of the chandelier, where all the bars were joined to a ring, and glare down at Dudley. With a hacking cough, he shot a ball of mouse bones and slime that hit Dudley's shoulder before he could dodge.
"You're welcome," Dudley said, and returned to the sitting room. Fun time was over.
The Wizarding Wireless didn't have programming past two o'clock, it seemed, because the soft buzzing from the Lupins' room ended, and the light under their door went out. They, of course, could extinguish and re-light the flying candles whenever they liked.
Dudley rubbed his eyes and picked up another book. That last book had been quick. Maybe he'd be able to get through the rest by three o'clock and get to bed.
Hestia was generally the first of the magical folk to wake, as she liked to see the owls flying in from the night.
However, it was Remus who found Dudley still hard at work in the sitting room at first light.
"Dudley!" he said. "What on earth are you doing up this early?" He stared at the book-strewn floor. Dudley'd enjoyed himself tossing the books around when he'd finished with them. "Your mum won't like to see the room in this state."
"Good morning, Dudley." Dudley didn't look up from his notebook, printing "three jabs, not one." "Nice to see you, Dudley." After more than ten weeks of having his manners and grammar corrected by multiple, mental, magical adults, Dudley was thrilled to be able to return the favor.
Remus chuckled. "My mistake. Good morning, Dudley. And what gets you up so early on this fine day?"
Dudley riffled through the notebook. "Nearly out of pages," he said. "Just wanted to get this job done."
The job was nowhere near complete. At least three bookcases remained, and there were even more over at the Weasleys' houses.
"We won't get it done in one day," Remus said. "The schedule we've planned out is good enough – no sense breaking down by taking on too much. You'll never keep up this pace."
"Try telling that to mum and dad." Dudley shook his head. "We're sick of being cooped up here."
"Dudley. No one's promised that if we find the Tracking Spell, we'll even be able to break it, let alone start taking you three for excursions. It's dangerous out there." Remus' grey face had lost its early-morning false cheer. "Even if the Death Eaters can't find us directly, we could run into them. Or the Dementors. Or Snatchers. There's a ghost haunting the wood just outside the river, and it has a way of finding Hestia, no special Tracking Spell required. The dangers are increasing by the week, it seems."
"So what? We could just pop over without going to the woods." Dudley said. "You can come visit us, and we can't visit you? Not good enough for your cabin or whatever?"
"The cabin isn't suited to hosting anyone, Dudley. It's got to be the bare minimum for the spell to work. I won't be having Dedalus or Hestia over either, other than to cast the initial spell."
"It's seven of us here! I want to go camping, too!" Dudley was lying. The thought of being in a tiny, cramped cabin with the temperamental Lupins was only attractive inasmuch as it would be a change of scene. But he did want Remus to agree that finding and removing the Tracking Spell would be a life altering for everyone, including the Dursleys.
"Keep your voice down! Don't want to wake anyone!" Remus hissed. "Now, how about I make us some tea, and we'll have breakfast?"
Dudley knew what that meant – Remus' breakfast was burned fake bacon (really walnuts), underdone sausage (really walnuts), toast (actual bread), and beans (really walnuts). The sauce on the beans tasted weird. "No thanks," Dudley said. "Gotta finish this lot up, and then I'll hit the gym and shower." The gym being his shared bedroom with Dedalus.
Remus looked again at the mess of books. "Just because I can use magic, doesn't mean I'll help you tidy this mess."
Dudley shrugged. "Suit yourself." He finished transcribing the notes in Potions of Prussia and hurled it so it fell behind the settee across the room.
Remus removed himself to the kitchen, and Dudley was pleased to hear Dillon hoot, followed by a thwack, followed by Remus muttering, "Ugh – Dudley Dursley and an owl pellet to the face? What a morning."
If the weather was nice, he'd have to take Dillon for a nighttime walk, as a reward.
A/N: Any guesses as to Dudley's name picks for Baby Lupin? We'll see them in Ch21. Next chapter (20!) will check in on 2020 Dudley.