I Love Halloween Chapter (Re-Written)
So, I know that this has taken forEVERRRR but my computor got a whole Stack-load of viruses, and they're still on somehow...:( so I might not update for a bit, but hopefully I can and I will! I do know how this story is gonna end, and trust me we're getting there...I just have to get the motivation to do this! But luckily, I've got loads of LOVELY reviewers to give me wonderful feedback ,and I love you all! This chapter is dedicated to DeidaraUlquiorra for all their support and AMAZING help. I am totally honest in saying that I could not have re-written this chapter without them. I grovell at their feet for eternity. :) I know this is different than before, but I hope you guys like it as much as the sadly deleted chapter. RIP Baila Baila No 1!
The school was going crazy. Halloween, which was coming up fast, was apparently the favourite holiday of the year, for both students and staff.
Konan herself was getting caught up in the excitement of decorating the school: each student had a month-long assignment of decorating one section of the school for Halloween.
Konan was supposed to decorate the ceiling of the lunch hall, and she had a great idea for it! However, her idea required an ass-load of preparation and time, so she was, in a word, stressed.
On October 12, she trudged into the lunch hall from origami class, feeling so worn-out it was like somebody had used her as a dishcloth. Twenty times, on a cheese grater.
She lined up at the buffet table, and one of the cooks who was just putting out another batch of juiceboxes took one look at her and shoved a mug of black coffee into her hands.
"You look like you need it, dear." she said as an explanation. Konan sipped the coffee gratefully and shuffled towards her usual table, where everybody was already sitting, talking excitedly.
Honestly, Konan thought as she sat down next to Pain, if she heard the word 'Halloween' one more time, she'd probably snap.
"So, how's your Halloween project going?" he asked her.
Konan's head hit the table. "I see. Good to know you're making progress." he commented, taking a bite of his toast.
"I'm going crazy, this whole thing is absolutely hopeless, I've slept a grand total of 16 hours in the last week...and the laundry machine's eaten all my left socks." Konan grumbled from the tabletop. Pain half-smiled at her and patted the top of her head.
"It's okay, Konan. Just think. After everything's finished, there's the Halloween party to look forward to! That one's always the best one of the year." he said optimistically.
"Hell yeah! It's the only reason I even go to this fucking shithole of a school!" Hidan interjected, patting Konan on the back heavily as he went to get more cereal.
"You only go to this school because you'd be on the streets if you didn't, stupid!" Kisame called after him, and received two fingers in return. Konan raised her head with a sigh and chugged her coffee.
"That's better." she said, wiping her mouth and looking up at Pain, who was halfway through a smuggled bottle of vodka. "So, what's so good about the Halloween party? ...and why are you drinking at 12:30 in the middle of the day?" she asked with a frown.
"You've got coffee, darling. I've got vodka. We get though school projects in similar ways." Pain explained with a wink. Konan rolled her eyes, fighting to ignore the happy cheer that was trying to force its way out of her- her reaction to being called darling, and getting a wink from Pain- and bit into her apple.
"You didn't answer my first question." she noticed, and Pain looked meaningfully at Deidara. Deidara leaned forward, after having to fight a little to let Sasori to release him.
"He doesn't like to talk when there's vodka on the table, un." Deidara said, rolling his eyes. "The Halloween party's the best one, because...well, we have to dress up on almost every holiday, 'cuz it's the school's tradition. But everybody likes dressing up as a dead cheerleader or a zombie butler a lot better than dressing up as a snowflake or an easter bunny, or cupid, un." Konan nodded, grinning.
"I get it. But do you guys actually dress up as cupids? You know...naked?"
"Pervert, you just wanna see." Sasori said, pretending to blush. Konan raised her eyebrows at him.
"If I wanted to see, I wouldn't wait for Valentine's day. I could just ask you and you'd show me." she said, and Sasori smirked.
"Would not." Konan snorted.
"Yeah you would." Sasori pretended to think about this for a second, then he grinned.
"Yeah, you're right, I would."
"Have you thought about what you're gonna be for Halloween?" Kisame asked from the opposite end of the table. Konan groaned, leaning forward to see him.
"Are you serious? I've been living in dread of the 31st, not planning it. But...I guess I could be...an escaped asylum inmate." she said thoughtfully, and Kisame whistled.
"Sexy. I'm gonna be a Frankenstein's monster kind of thing..." he said with a wave of his hand.
"What about you?" Konan asked Itachi, who had been winning a staring contest with his Jello. He looked up and gave Konan a small smile.
"Vampire Boyfriend for rent. Might as well, right? I mean...I've got the eyes for it." he said, rolling his dark red eyes.
"Before you ask- I'm gonna be a Gothic ringmaster, un." Deidara said, and Konan grinned.
"That's fun! Hidan, what are you gonna be for Halloween?" Konan called to Kakuzu's masochistic boyfriend.
"Edward Scissorhands. I started collecting scissors last week, but I keep fucking cutting myself with them!" he said, looking down at his hands, which were indeed covered with cuts.
"Hidan, if you need somebody to talk to...the Teen Help Line's number's right there." Pain said understandingly, pointing up at the bulletin board at the front of the hall, which was covered with Self-help advice. Hidan swore at him, and bit savagely into his sandwich.
"I'm being a broken string...er...monstery thing. Honestly, I don't know what the hell I'm being, but all I know is that my monthly catalog had a huge sale on string." Kakuzu announced, moodily shoving pasta around his plate.
"What are you gonna be?" Konan asked, punching Pain's side playfully. He looked at her seriously, and she had to turn a burst of laughter into a cough (his expression was reminiscent of the Terminator's.)
"I'm gonna be Sweeney Todd." he said, too casually for his deadpan expression, before taking another swig of Vodka. Konan suddenly developed a serious interest in adjusting her shoes, knowing that she was probably blushing or nosebleeding or something at the thought of Pain...and Sweeney Todd (a.k.a. Johnny Depp)...mixed together. Sexy-Pain...
She took a deep breath and looked up as Sasori's dreamy voice spoke up in a rather sulky tone.
"I like how you purposefully don't ask the sexiest person here." Sasori said, affronted. Konan smirked at him.
"Aw, Sasori, buttercup! Couldn't you tell? I was saving the best for last!" she said sarcastically. The redheaded boy in front of her stuck his tongue out at her and sipped his orange juice.
"Well, not that you're interested or anything..." he began demurely, and Konan had to grin at his funny expression. "...but I'm going to be a dead Harlequin clown."
"What's a Harlequin?" Konan asked curiously before bursting into a fit of giggles. Sasori scowled as everybody looked curiously at Konan, who was trying to muffle her laughter.
"You just imagined me as Ronald McDonald, didn't you?" Sasori asked with a sigh. "Why does everybody do that when I say I'm gonna be a clown?" he asked in frustration.
"Because you have red hair." the others said, as if it was obvious. Sasori rolled his eyes and prodded Konan with his spoon, making her shut up.
"A Harlequin is a kind of clown. You've got your mimes, your Pierrots, your Augustes, and then there's the Harlequin." Sasori glanced up to see that all of his friends were staring at him blankly.
"I learned about it in puppetry! We were doing a clown-themed project..." he trailed off as his friends' faces became even more blank.
"Geez! Fine! I'm being a clown! Happy?" he said, crossing his arms and sulking.
"Ohhh..." the others all said, making him shoot them all dark looks.
"Oh, hey, you know what else is coming up?" Deidara suddenly spoke up, as if just remembering something.
"What?" Konan asked, and he sighed.
"The dance unit, un. In gym class." There were groans from everyone around the table except Konan, who wasn't sure why it wasn't good.
"Trust me, you'll grow to hate it too." Itachi said, glancing up at Konan, who was beginning to sense impending doom. Sasori's face suddenly brightened.
"Hey, Pain, what dance is your gym class gonna do?" he asked suddenly. Pain looked up at him, his bottle of Vodka almost empty.
"Um...well, they haven't told us yet, but I heard Asuma talking about it with Kurenai...I think we'll vote between the samba or broadway." Hidan and the others groaned, but Konan secretly thought that it sounded like fun. Sasori shot Konan a dreamy smirk.
"Just think, Pain: either way, Konan's gonna be in a sexy outfit." Pain choked on his Vodka, and Konan looked curiously at Sasori.
"What's up, babe?" Sasori asked, smirking at her.
"I was just thinking...why do you always look really stoned?" Everybody snorted with laughter, and Sasori frowned.
"I do? I never knew that. I thought I just look hot." he said, confused.
"Oh, oh, seriously. You always look totally stoned. Like, fuck-shit stoned. Don't tell me you're not." Hidan said, frowning, as if it had never occurred to him that Sasori was not constantly wasted.
"Do I really?" Sasori asked, looking at Deidara, who pretended to inspect his boyfriend's expression carefully.
"Well, after some serious examination...yeah. Sasori, my man, you always look high. It's probably because you never act sober, anyways, un."
Konan laughed, and Sasori shrugged, rolling his eyes. The bell rang, and they all put their trays away, headed for their respective classes.
"Ugh, do you think they'll start us on fucking dancing today?" Hidan asked with a groan.
"Um, no, I think they'll postpone it just for you, Hidan-baby." Sasori quipped, earning himself an earful of profanities for the next two hallways. Just as Pain had predicted, as soon as they'd finished changing, Asuma gathered them all together to announce that they were going to start their dance unit.
"We're starting it early this year, because honestly, last year, you guys all danced like geese with broken hips." he said frankly, and the class laughed.
"No, I'm serious. This year, I just don't want to be embarrassed. Did you realize that none of the other staff could look me in the eye without laughing after last year's performance?" Asuma looked off into the middle-distance, shaking his head.
"Not this year, guys. This year, you guys are gonna be hot. Not in a perverted, paedophillic way...just, you know, on fire. So, vote now: salsa or broadway? Either way, everybody's going to dance." he said, glaring at the class as if daring any of them to mumble something about having a broken leg.
"All those in favour of broadway?" he asked, and a number of hands went up.
"Samba?" Asuma surveyed the hands in the air, counting silently. "Alright. Samba it is. Now, as much fun as it would be to allow you guys to pick your own partners, I want you guys to get to know everybody in this class, not just your friends. So, I've picked the partners. And yes, it's groups of two of the opposite sex, until we run out of boys or girls. After that...well, you have to come talk to me after that. Oh, and Deidara, you're switching gym classes, right?" Everyone turned to look at the blonde boy, who nodded with a smirk at Sasori, who looked completely shocked.
"You're switching? Why?" he asked, almost whining, in an undertone as Asuma continued going on about non-sexual conduct. Deidara smiled and traced Sasori's hand.
"It's so I can do a double-block of body art, un." he explained. "But just think!" he hurriedly added, seeing Sasori's dreamy expression turning into a disappointed scowl.
"This just means that you can surprise me with your sexy dancing! I'm sure I'll be way more turned on if it's a surprise!" Deidara said with a grin, and Sasori laughed.
"Jeez, fine. I'll just punish you later for ditching me." he said with a wicked smirk.
"Okay, here are the partners." Asuma began, and Sasori and Deidara looked up.
"Sakura, Sasuke."
Konan smiled to herself as she saw Sakura looking like it was her birthday, Christmas, and her wedding day all mixed into one. At least somebody was happy with that pairing. Ino looked like she could have killed Santa Claus, and Sasuke looked...emo as usual.
"Sasori, Tenten."
Sasori looked around and winked at Tenten, who, frankly, looked a little frightened. After all, Sasori was hot and flirtatious and everything, but he was still a little...you know. He looked stoned, for one.
"Pain, Ino."
Konan winced, half because she sorta wanted to be with Pain...but mostly out of pity for her friend. His face was pale with anger, his fists clenched around his knees. He, frankly, detested Ino. Konan wasn't exactly sure why, but Deidara had muttered something like she had told everybody that they were dating when he'd first come to the school, then made up stories about how he did kinky stuff and beat her. And she was only eleven or twelve years old. Frankly, Konan couldn't believe somebody was so attention-obsessed. Asuma was almost done with the list.
"Konan..." Konan looked up, clenching her shirt with nerves; what if they had run out of guys, and she had to dance with Asuma!
"You'll be dancing with...me." he said, fixing her with a look. Konan imagined herself collapsing into a puddle of horror. Asuma began to laugh.
"Just kidding. Konan, Hidan."
"Fuck yeah!" Hidan cheered, looping his arm around Konan's shoulders. She sighed with relief: Hidan was a million times better (and ultimately less embarrassing) then Asuma.
"Okay everybody!" Asuma announced, standing up after finishing the list of partners, "Get with your dance partner, and spread out in a big circle around the gym. Today we're just going to go over some of the basic moves." Hidan grabbed Konan's hand and lead her across the room.
"You suck at dancing, don't you?" he asked shrewdly, and Konan blushed, scowling.
"You don't know that!" she said, crossing her arms. Hidan grinned.
"You do suck. I can tell." Konan tossed her hair dramatically.
"Not true, I have amazing dance moves, like the...like the...Rotten Lawnmower...and the...Struggling Duck..." she trailed off as Hidan began to laugh.
"Show me." he said, and Konan reluctantly began to...er...do the 'Struggling Duck'. She flapped her arms like a windmill and began to strut in a rather ungainly manner in a little circle around Hidan.
"Great, Konan! Everybody, copy her! It looks like she's...warming up!" Asuma called out to the class, who immediately stared at her.
"Shit." she said, turning bright red: the Struggling Duck was not something she wanted to be seen doing by anybody: showing it to Hidan had been a serious stretch. She could hear Ino laughing shrilly, and was just considering making a break for it out the gym doors, when Hidan copied her, still laughing. Pain did the same thing, and Konan decided that, if she ever lived through this humiliation, she would thank them forever for doing this for her. Finally the rest of the class began walking around, flapping their arms and wiggling their butt occasionally, and Konan slyly watched Pain.
Frankly, his 'Struggling Duck' looked about as natural as a hippo on stilts. But then, it wasn't Konan's most graceful 'dance move'. And honestly, she had come up with it on the spot.
"I was right." Hidan said as he passed her, flapping his arms around wildly. "You suck at dancing. Stupid bitch.." he said fondly, giving her a one-armed hug.
"What are you, the Sassy Gay Friend?" she asked, equally as fondly, returning the hug as everybody began more normal stretches. Hidan laughed.
"Oh, come on you stupid bitch, let's get out of here. She's a stupid bitch." Hidan quoted, and Konan laughed.
The rest of gym class was relatively uneventful...Konan put her feet on Hidan's so she wouldn't trip, but she still managed to fall over on her butt. Just once.
A few weeks later, Konan got a grand total of 4 hours of sleep on Friday night. The projects had to be done and ready for installation the next day. She stayed awake, folding paper until her hands hurt, and then she kept on folding...only faster.
She had finally used the miniature coffee-maker her father had given her before she came to school, and had depended solely on espressos to keep her awake. By seven am the next morning, she was done, and was just shoving her human paper corpses into orange jail jumpsuits. It was pretty hard, like trying to squeeze on a tube top over a woollen jumper.
"Rise and shine, babycakes." Sasori said casually on his way to the shower. "Shut up." Konan moaned into her pillow, rolling over.
Halloween was today. And it was eight o'clock. And Konan wasn't in her costume. Sasori, who was finished showering, stuck his head around the door.
"You do know that you have to be in costume to get into the dance, right? And, I'm sorry, but The Creature from Beyond the Bed is not allowed." he said jokingly, taking in her messy hair and zombie-like expression.
"I know..." Konan said, flinging a pillow at Sasori's retreating, towelled form. She flicked on her stereo and rolled out of bed as Billy Idol began to serenade her morning.
Stumbling to the bathroom, Konan grabbed her costume (which she'd spent about three days straight patching together in the sewing room) and shut herself in the bathroom. She looked sadly at the mirror. She looked like a drunken raccoon with blue hair and a labret. And that was being nice.
With a sigh, Konan stripped off her big Teletubbies t-shirt and leggings, pulled a black and red lace bra over her head, and dragged a brush through her unruly hair. She hiked on some garters and torn stockings under her black booty shorts (worn strictly in the company of gentlemen, mind you), and slung on a lace tanktop.
Focusing on her make-up, she washed her face briefly and cleaned her labret before taking black eyeliner and smudging it under her eyes before drawing on dolly-like lashes which she accentuated with patented dolly mascara. She opted for purple eyeshadow instead of her usual blue, filling in a shadowy look around her eyes. She considered putting on a light coating of paler foundation, but she decided that she was pale enough as it was, having not seen the sun for several months.
Bending over, she took the can of hairspray and sprayed it liberally around her head in a cloud, making her hair stick out at funny angles. Then she grabbed her customary origami paper, folded herself a flower, pinned it into her hair, and pulled the straitjacket over her head.
Giving herself a once-over, she deemed herself thoroughly dressed-up, and opened the door, grabbing her bag and stuffing her feet into her black Converse. She crashed into Pain in the hallway, caught by surprise as he came out of his room at the same time as her.
"Wow. You look...scary." he said, giving her a twice-over.
"Thanks," she said sheepishly, doing the same for him. "You...you look..."
"Hot." Sasori interjected, and Konan kicked him in the shin, because that was what she had wanted to say... Wanted to say, not what she wanted said out loud.
But there was no denying it; Pain looked downright sexy. IF you thought that Johnny Depp was a hot Sweeney...let's just say that Pain looked almost just as good. If not better.
He was wearing the exact same costume, from the brown coat down to the selection of barber's knives. He had even dyed a streak of his hair white. Somehow, the facial piercings added to the effect.
"Can you strap me in?" Konan asked, and Pain proceeded to bind her arms to herself. "I can't move." she complained once he had done.
"Um, yeah. If you could move, then your straitjacket would be a total fail-coat." Sasori joked under his breath, walking past Konan to get to the bathroom again. Konan turned to look after him.
Somehow the idea of Sasori being a clown was now more...sexy. He was wearing face-paint, of course, but not the usual Ronald McDonald kind of thing you expect. He had black circles over and around his eyes, with black drips like tears. The way his eyes shone from those pits of paint was, frankly, scary.
He had also drawn kind of stitch-like markings over his mouth, and his skin was white. His hair was messy, but not much different than usual. He was wearing a huge white clown shirt, which went down almost to his knees, with a large ruff around the neck and three big, black buttons down the front. He wore black jeans and red Converse underneath, but that didn't take away from the overall effect at all.
"Lookin' good, Konan-bitch." Hidan said approvingly, opening his door and punching her shoulder playfully. His 'playful' punch sent her stumbling towards Pain, unable to keep her balance due to her 'lack of arms'.
He caught her and re-balanced her, but to her surprise (and total happiness) he kept an arm around her. Probably just to make sure she didn't fall over again, but still...a girl can dream.
"You look cool!" Konan said, looking Hidan up and down. "So...sassy." she teased, and he shot her a look. A sassy gay look. A look that looked terribly unnatural on Edward Scissorhands.
Hidan had attatched a load of knives and scissor-blades to his hands with wax, making it look super-realistic, as if they were naturally there. His mouth appeared much smaller, there was red lining around his eyes, and his hair...was, frankly, completely wild.
"Happy Halloween!" Kisame cheered, stepping out of his room. Had Konan been drinking anything, she could guarantee that it would have been spraying out of her mouth. Kisame looked awful.
Awful in a super-fucking-amazing-Halloween-costume way. Instead of his normal blue pallor, his skin was tinged with green, and there appeared to be drying blood around his mouth and down his neck.
His eyes looked bloodshot, his hair was covered in 'blood', his hands were bloody, there was evidence of being strangled on his neck, he had huge, jagged sword-ends sticking out of his chest, covered in 'blood' and 'flesh'...honestly, it was revolting in the coolest way possible.
"Itachi, c'mere." Kisame said, calling over his shoulder. It seemed that they were all just gathering in the hallway. Itachi slunk out of the room, and gave them all a good stare. Itachi was good at giving good stares.
And boy, did he look vampiric. His eyes were, if possible, even more burgundy-coloured than usual, his skin terribly pale, dry blood around his mouth and on the rumpled tuxedo he was wearing...the effect was somewhat ruined by the sign around his neck that read 'Vamp Boyfriend for rent' in blood, but nevermind.
"Oh, wait! Wait wait wait!" Hidan exclaimed, staring Itachi full in the face.
"We need a picture of this, fucking now! Your hair...is out of its ponytail! And it's messy!" Everybody gasped like it was a soap-opera, and Pain struck an epic pose and grabbed his camera, propping Konan up temporarily on the wall. Itachi stared blankly at the camera that flashed in his face, then gave Hidan a death-glare for bringing up the idea of pictures.
Kakuzu emerged silently from his room, and Konan gasped in shock. He wasn't kidding when he said that he got a load of string... He wasn't wearing a shirt, showing off some serious rock-hard muscles. But he was covered in stitches, and in places there were huge, gaping holes. And in those holes, where there should have been flesh, there was only string.
Hundreds and hundreds of strings.
And there was a noose around his neck, and stitches over his mouth, and his eyes shone brightly from circles of black eyeliner. He looked like something you'd expect to crawl out of your sewing machine if it ever swallowed up a corpse.
"I told you...there was a discount on string." Kakuzu said, rather defensively, after three minutes of staring.
"Hey...where's Deidara?" Konan asked suddenly, looking around. Her blonde friend was normally the first one out of his room, after Konan. Sasori smirked.
"Oh, he's coming. You better get some tissues, Konan...you're gonna nosebleed all over the floor." he warned with a wink. "I'll keep that in mind." Konan replied drily, and Pain laughed.
"Deidara! Where are you?" Hidan cooed in a most terrifying manner, sort of like a quieter 'Heeeere's Johnny!'.
"What the hell? Are you trying to scare me to death?" Deidara asked angrily, walking out of Konan's room, having evidentially been in the bathroom.
"Okay, where are the tissues? I'm feeling a nosebleed coming on." Konan asked, half-serious. No matter how confusing his costume was, Deidara looked hot. His usual black eyeliner had been replaced by a kind of spiky black pattern with one prominent slash over one eye, and his hair was down completely, teased by hairspray.
He was wearing a shirt with sleeves that were at least five inches too long under a golden vest with black buttons and a cream-coloured tailed jacket. He wore black finger gloves and pants, and a black tophat with a golden and black sash around it. There was a matching sash around his waist, a black whip sticking out of his back pocket, and golden spurs on his black boots.
All in all, he looked hot.
"Well, I feel we're ready to go to class." Konan said after a minute or two, and they all filed out, Pain keeping a hand on Konan in case she tipped over again, her bag over his shoulder.
The school was so different, it was if they had walked into Tim Burton's Halloween Town. There were murals on the floor (obviously temporary, but still) of demons and monsters flying and screaming and fighting just below them. There was a particularly good one that, if you stood on it, people ten metres away would see you about to be devoured by a hellish skeleton-snake thing.
Certain corridors were completely dedicated to one theme; for example, the hallway leading to the gym had zombie people (and in one case, cats) climbing out of the walls and floor.
They were made from papier-mache, wax, styrofoam and plaster, but they were so realistic a group of first-year boys screamed when they walked past. There were bats on strings, with wheels and pulleys in the ceiling to make them swoop down on unsuspecting students, sometimes hitting them in the face.
"Where's your project?" she asked Sasori as they went together to drawing class (the others had paused to look at what Naruto had fixed up in the guys washroom -a poo monster coming out of the toilet) Sasori grinned and pointed to the right.
There were three humans standing against the wall, with huge swords, scythes, daggers, and forks sticking out of their bodies, and they occasionally tilting their heads to the side and smiling creepily.
Scratch the people thing, there were three human puppets. They were really, really realistic, and Konan actually kicked one gently, just to check.
"It's made of wood!" she exclaimed, and Sasori nodded smugly.
"Yup. And check this out." he said, smirking as he spotted Kiba coming down the hall.
"Over here," Sasori said, pulling Konan behind him, disappearing into the classroom the puppets were standing against.
"There's a couple motors in them to make them move their head and smile without instruction, but if you do this," Sasori opened a cupboard which had a huge hole in the back; they could see the puppet, and the hallway. Or, people's feet. Sasori clicked open the back of the puppet, and started pulling wires and things. Konan just concentrated on the people's feet.
"Now," she said when Kiba's feet (she could tell- he had unique shoes) paused by the puppet.
" 'Kay." Sasori said, and pulled three particular wires before pushing a button.
"HOLY SHIT!" Kiba's voice made the wall vibrate. By the time Konan and Sasori made it out of the room, he was gone.
"What did you do to him?" Konan asked curiously: the puppet looked just how it had looked before, but Kiba was nowhere to be seen. Sasori smirked at her.
"How would you like it if the inanimate puppet you were standing in front of suddenly took a sword out of it's chest and tried to stab you?" Konan stared at him, sort of sure that attempts to stab students was not allowed, but she just laughed.
"And if you were thinking that stabbing people is against school rules..." Sasori said slyly, making Konan look up at him guiltily. "...well, it's just to encourage students to take the self-defence classes, or even go into circus arts. I'm just giving them incentive. Besides, I never do it to somebody who wouldn't be able to dodge." he explained as they walked into the drawing class- which, needless to say, now looked like a huge jack-o-lantern that the students had been eaten by.
By lunchtime, if Konan had ever had any doubts that her school was the most decorated building in Europe, they were gone. The girl's bathroom had had a hologram of Moaning Myrtle floating above the toilets, which were almost all blocked by suicide notes and pictures of corpses.
There was fake blood spattered all over the walls and the sinks and water founatins only ran red water. (just food dye, so you can still drink it, of course)Itachi had turned an entire hallway into a sort of gothic, messed-up Alice in Wonderland world, with voices whispering 'Alice, Alice...' in the creepiest ways, and eyes that seemed to follow you.
And as soon as you got to the end of the hall way, there'd be a scream of 'OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!' and a huge axe would swing across (slowly of course, so you could duck) in a vague attempt to behead you. Or get you in the shoulders, depending how tall you are.
Kisame's project had been to decorate one of the pools. Naturally, he'd dyed the whole thing a gory, dark red, with floating corpses.
Hidan's project was by far the most...um...anti-clean? He'd gotten an entire hallway to work with, right by the broken elevator. So, every two hours, fake blood would spray out of the elevator (but didn't get anybody else's projects messy because of a glass wall) and a creepy voice would echo around the school, 'All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy'. Konan had never seen The Shining, but just the idea of a swimming-pool-worth of blood spurting out of an elevator made her think that she would never want to see the movie.
Pain's project involved a segment of hallway in which huge metal poles would randomly come at you from either side. They weren't sharp, but they were still capable of breaking some bones if you got pinned between one of them and the wall.
He had said that so long as you kept walking, you'd be fine, but honestly, his project was one of the scariest. If you even paused to scratch your leg, you could be practically impaled. Kakuzu had strung up a load of 'corpses' wearing white masks, and had black string coming out of their mouths, hands, chest, and eyes. It was pretty gruesome in itself, but he had also made it seem as if they were rotting.
Konan walked into the lunch hall, to find that it was filled with different people's projects: there was a huge sculpture of a spider on the east side (Konan made a careful note to herself never to look in that direction), a crazy red-purple lighting system over the buffet, with fog and holograms of ghosts floating above the pasta (probably by somebody in the graphic arts course), certain tables had weapons sticking out of them, or random limbs protruding out of the table's surface.
Konan hurried to her seat, accidentally knocking into somebody on her way. Lucky for her, it was Pain. It was lucky in two ways: number one, she was glad to see him, and number two, he caught her before she fell over.
"You really ought to have a safety mat with you, to catch you if I'm not there." he teased, helping her over to the table, where she thanked him and sat down. She glanced up to the ceiling, where her projects were currently hanging out. It was time to make them work.
"Um..." she said awkwardly, and Pain looked up. "Um...could you, um..." she said, kind of embarrassed (understatement) to actually say what she wanted, because then he might actually do what she wanted, and she couldn't handle that. "Um, could you.." she said, gesturing with her chin at her shorts, but not elaborating.
"You want me to...pants you?" he asked, raising his eyebrows teasingly.
"No." she said, blushing at the horrible...embarrassing... thought. "Can you..." Suddenly a hand swooped down, shoved itself in her back pocket (making her gasp- it tickled- and it was downright groping her) and pulled out seven little puppets. Sasori smirked at her and put them down on the table in front of her.
"Thank you." she said, a little forced, as Pain began to laugh.
"You're welcome, sugarpie." Sasori said sweetly, picking up one of the puppets and putting it down on the table in front of him.
"No!" Konan said in shock, but it was too late: one of the paper bodies that had been stuck to the ceiling fell down, straight towards Sasori.
"Wave your arm, damnit! WAVE!" Konan shrieked, and Sasori did as he was told in surprise. The paper corpse began to float innocently around the room, weaving and diving as the puppet in Sasori's hand did.
"What are these?" Pain asked curiously. Konan blew some hair out of her face.
"You know those voodoo dolls that Kakuzu gave me? Well, I made origami bodies, and they look like you guys. Remember that time a few weeks ago when I asked you guys for some of your hair?" Sasori and Pain nodded, Sasori's arm still waving around.
"Well, there's some in the middle of a paper puppet, and some around the neck of a voodoo doll. So they move." "But how were they stuck to the ceiling before?" Sasori asked, and Konan frowned.
"You know, I never figured that out, but I think that they don't work if the mini doll isn't out in the open...and then the big ones just stick to the ceiling. Personally, I don't even get it, but Kakuzu could probably explain." Pain gingerly picked up one of the dolls and began to wave it around like a magic wand, watching as a paper puppet above them began to fly around.
"Isn't that...Kisame?" Pain asked in surprise.
"Yes. And you've got Deidara, Sasori." Konan said, pointing up at the puppets.
"Really?" Sasori asked with interest.
"Mhmmm... Speaking of which, what was his project?" Just as she asked, there was a boom across the room, and Konan stood up to see a second year sitting on the floor, his chair blown up.
"He...He did that?" Konan asked when Sasori laughed and told her that that was Deidara's project.
"Yup. He didn't do it to the benches, because we sit on those...but a couple chairs are booby-trapped." As more students began to fill the lunch hall, and began to sit down, there were more explosions.
Konan vaguely wondered if they exploding chairs hurt the people who sat on them, but when Deidara came and she asked, he assured her that they weren't supposed to hurt, at least not that much.
Maybe a splinter or two.
They spent the lunch laughing as hapless people fell to their buts as their chair exploded, and taking pictures of themselves and other people with wicked costumes. Sasori had passed Konan an apple which she was sort of managing to eat by balancing it against a book and biting.
"How about I just undo your costume?" Pain offered after her apple rolled away again.
"That would be great." she said, letting him undo the straps around her arms. With her arms free (if a little stiff), Konan happily sipped from her juicebox, looking around.
She spotted Naruto, dressed up as a zombie, arguing with Sasuke who seemed to be a dead businessman. Hinata was a really adorable half-eaten Red Riding Hood, and her cousin Neji seemed to be a mad doctor.
Tenten was a gunslinger (her guns might be fake, you never know), and Rock Lee seemed to be a ninja. Konan's eyes travelled around the room, taking in Suigetsu's bare (totally ripped), stabbed chest, Gaara's grim reaper guise, Ino's Catwoman, Sakura's dead nurse, until she got dizzy.
It seemed that nobody in the school had dressed up as anything cute, like kids normally did. There weren't any princesses, Spidermans, fairies, or Talking Toilets that weren't covered in blood, or didn't have a limb missing. Go figure.
Asuma didn't even make them get changed for gym class. He got them into a circle right away, where everybody admired his dead pimp costume.
"Okay you guys. Today is the day that the project actually starts. Today, you're going to get with your partner, and start planning your own routine. It has to be at least one and a half minutes long, and the song you pick can't have swearing." There was a big groan from the class, and Asuma shrugged.
"Well okay, not much. It can't go like, da da da da da da F****! da da-da da dum." he sang, and the whole class laughed.
"Don't worry about costumes, because the sewing classes have a project to make the costumes for the gym classes. So I don't to hear any garbage about not dressing up for the show." he said, glaring around at them all, tapping his cigarette on the side of his chair.
"So! Hop to it, you've only got three weeks to prepare." in instructed, and everybody stood up. Hidan unceremoniously flung Konan over his shoulder instead over waiting for her to wiggle her way to her feet. He put her down on the other side of the gym, having ignored her protests the whole way there.
"So, Konan-bitch, what do you want to do? This has got to be fucking brilliant, otherwise we're gonna look totally dumb." he said, fixing her with a serious look. As surprising as a 'serious look' from Hidan was, Konan just nodded in agreement.
"I've got a song we can use by Angela Via." she supplied, and Hidan said sure.
An hour and a half later, the bell rang and they were all running down the hall.
"This school actually has a dance hall?" Konan exclaimed in surprise as she followed Sasori and Pain down the hall, Hidan right behind her.
"Yup. Paid for by a student who graduated, got rich, and gave it to the school before he died. Apparently they didn't have anybody else to give it all to." Pain explained. They lined up by some double doors that Konan had never noticed before, and Tsunade herself (dressed up as a princess with a knife through her throat) was letting people in two by two, examining their costumes.
"Dressing up as yourself is not a ticket into the dance. Next!" she called, turning away some disgruntled first year.
When they finally got to the front of the line and were allowed in, Konan gasped in surprise: they walked into a huge, dark room that was almost as big as the gym, and it was filled with purple light and Halloween-themed graffiti on the walls. There were about seventy people already inside, dancing to Thriller.
"I hope they stop the Halloween theme after an hour or so...there's only so many times you can do the Monster Mash with a smile on your face." Kisame said, suddenly appearing next to Konan, who laughed, trying to imagine her huge friend dancing to 'They did the mash...They did the monster mash!'
As soon as Deidara appeared, Sasori grabbed him and pulled him through the throng of people, out of sight. "Have fun!" Hidan called after them sarcastically. A few seconds later, Michael Jackson's huge hit ended, and the Harry Potter vs Voldemort rap started playing. Konan thought she could faint.
"Oh my god." she said, bouncing up and down. "I love this." she said happily, and Hidan cheered.
"It's time, my lord." he said, pretending to hold a mic. Konan beamed at him. She couldn't believe that Hidan knew it too.
"I'm the darkest dark wizard, in all of history. I'll slay your ass out like Cedric Diggory. With a wave of my finger, I'll put you on the floor, you's a punk-ass little kid without Dumbledore. I'm the best wizard rapper you ever will see, you're a puny witch midget with a dead mommy. I've got multiple souls and can raise the dead, if you think you can win, then you've been sorely mislead..." Hidan rapped animatedly. Konan started laughing, but recovered in time to rap out Harry.
"Oh, you's a big bald fairy, you think I'm scared of you? I smoked Basilisk, and I'll smoke you too. I got witches in class, I got witches in halls, if you look under my cloak you'll see my Hagrid-sized balls.." Oh god that's pretty embarrassing to say. "I win at wizard duels, I win at wizard chess, I got platinum-coated DUBS on my Hogwarts Express. You can't touch me son, I drive magic cars, I dish out big hurt, you just pass out little scars..." Sasori suddenly grabbed Konan around the waist, laughing: "You do know that people are filming you, right?" Konan looked around in surprise to see Pain with a video camera, laughing his ass off. Hidan hadn't noticed, he was still going.
"...you think you're invisible, but I can see through that! I'll roll up with my wand and go RATATATAT!" Konan laughed as Hidan waved his hand around, and started her verse, deciding that it didn't really matter if she was on camera...not really.
"Say it don't spray it! Your breath smells like a grave, your teeth look like tombstones, and your nose is concave. Your head looks like a golf ball! Your face looks like a lizard! Here's the toll-free number for the hair club for wizards. The toughest gang around is the Gryffindor crew. Wizard drive by's is what we do. When Dementors try to ice me, I step right up and own 'em. I crack a butter beer and say Expecto Patronum!" she finished, and there was a cheer from people who had started to watch.
"You two are total nerds." Pain said with a wicked grin. Konan rolled her eyes, and tried to high-five Hidan, but she couldn't move her arms.
"Chest bump!" he said, backing away a bit. She laughed and ran at him as he did the same.
"UGH!" Hidan said in a manly voice as they collided.
"OW!" Konan yelled as she bounced off and fell into Deidara, who caught her.
"There's a reason girls don't do that..." Konan muttered, grinning at Hidan who was laughing. Macarena started playing, thumping through the speakers, and the doors shut behind them as everybody was finally inside.
"Shall we dance?" Itachi said quietly, but everybody heard him.
"Well duh! It's a dance, un." Deidara said, rolling his eyes. Konan couldn't believe it; it was too funny, watching these guys who she had originally thought of as totally bad-ass, waving their arms around and shaking their hips during the Heyyy Macarena part.
Of course, she couldn't dance with them: straitjackets don't normally let you move much. So she just laughed and watched. The next song was Hips don't lie, 'a great song to grind to', quoth Sasori.
Konan said that she was going to try and take off the straitjacket as she pushed through the crowd. She got to the edge and was just pulling on the strap with her teeth when suddenly hands grabbed around her waist, pulling her butt against somebody's pelvis.
"Stop it. I don't want to." she snapped, trying to step away, but they kept a firm grip on her hips, stopping her from moving. They were grinding into her ass, and she felt with horror that the perverted freak got hard!
"Fuck off!" she said in anger, stomping on their foot and shoving them away with her shoulders. She whirled around to see some leering seventh-year boy who was clearly completely stoned. He stank of some kind of drug, and he looked like he was ready to drop dead. Plus he had a boner.
"Get away from me, you freak!" Konan spat, kicking up hard between the boy's legs. With a strangled moan, he sank to the ground, clutching his balls. Shaking with disgust and hoping that she never had anything like that happen again, Konan tore the strap off her straitjacket with her teeth, undid the rest, and put it on a chair.
She grabbed Pain's camera and started to calm down, snapping pictures of her first-ever school dance, determined to enjoy it. She got several of Deidara and Sasori either making out, hugging, dancing, or generally just making funny faces.
Itachi flatly refused to be in any photos, but Konan still got some, most of them with Kisame making a funny 'Asian' pose next to him. Konan held her breath as she pushed through a sweaty throng of grinding bodies, trying to find Pain. She spotted Sakura -dancing pointedly near Sasuke, who looked so bored- and waved before diving back into the sea of bodies.
She'd just searched around near the stage, standing on her toes, trying to see a tall orange-haired head over the crowd, when once again she felt hands at her waist. Typical- Turn me on was booming through the speakers. The most grinding-est song ever. Konan impatiently shoved the hands off of her, looking through the crowd, trying to ignore the freak behind her.
So let me hold you, girl whine all around me, you got me going crazy...Turn me on! Turn me on...
The hands were back. Grabbing her butt. Touching her chest. Konan whirled around, red with horror and anger, her fist drawn back even though she'd never punched anybody before- But the boy was already sprawled on the floor.
Konan looked around in confusion and found Pain standing next to her, glaring murderously at the boy on the ground, who was struggling to his feet. Hidan and Kakuzu were there too, suddenly on either side of Konan, like two bodyguards.
Two huge, muscular bodyguards. Impressive, actually. The older boy got to his feet, rubbing his reddened cheek, glaring at Pain, who was suddenly impassive, his face cold and calm. Konan was kind of scared, despite herself.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing? She your girlfriend or something?" The boy asked, his speech all over the place, and he stank.
"Don't touch her." Pain said, quite softly, before turning to walk away. Konan took Hidan's hand nervously, intending to follow, but Kakuzu put a hand on her shoulder silently, and she stopped. The other boy was looking at Hidan and Kakuzu, sizing them up.
Deciding to go after Pain, who admittedly looked a lot less strong than the others, he took a few steps towards him, his fists raised violently. Just as his arm began to swing forwards, Pain turned quickly, pushed the boy's arm out of the way, then, too quickly for Konan to see what had happened, had sent him to the floor with a snap of bone.
"Come on," he said shortly, walking towards Hidan and putting an arm around Konan, nodding at Kakuzu.
"It's my favourite song." he said, nodding at Sasori, who raised his eyebrows as they all passed. Konan listened for a second, trying to relax; she was still tense and afraid, not of the the boy who had groped her, but of the face Pain had made as he had crushed the boy's wrists. He was emotionless and cold, not like the boy Konan had come to know and like. She laughed though, when she recognized Pain's 'favourite song', Barbie Girl. She knew for a fact that he hated it.
"Come on, Barbie, let's go party." he murmured, as if trying to lighten the mood.
"Ah, ah, ah, yeah." Konan continued instinctively, noticing that Hidan and Kakuzu were gone again. "You okay?" Pain asked quietly, and Konan looked up at him, tilting her head to see him properly. Pain noticed and laughed.
"You need to grow taller." he said, ruffling her hair affectionately. Konan just rolled her eyes and laughed.
"Yeah I'm okay, to answer your question. But listen! It's my favourite song." she said with a grin, and Pain put a hand to his ear, pretending to listen intently.
"I see. You know, most party songs are intended to be danced to." he said gravely. Konan stifled a grin and played along.
"You know, I think you're quite right." Pain bowed gallantly with a flourish of his hands before kissing her hand (making her stomach jump) and grinning up at her.
"Would you accompany me for a dance?" he asked teasingly. Konan put a finger to her mouth, pretending to consider it. Finally she laughed.
"It would be an honour." she said gaily.
Grinning like little kids, they faced each other, waiting for the chorus to start again, and then they danced, singing with everyone around them; "Hey...Hey, baby! Ooh! Aah! I wanna know...if you'll be my girl!"
At the end of the night -and it was a long one- Konan flopped down on her bed, her hair and face washed, her costume flung onto her chair, her boxers and Tshirt on, and fell asleep in record time, Pain's laughing face floating through her dreams.
November arrived. The day of the dance performances. The day Konan -among others- had been dreading throughout the entire month. The costumes were made, the dances were ready to be performed, the gym was decorated, and now all there was between them and humiliation was a four-hour wait.
All throughout drawing and origami classes, Konan's right leg hadn't stopped shaking, her pen hadn't stopped tapping, and her thoughts were never far from thinking up awful things that could happen to her. Although she'd been practising with Hidan for ages, and had also been secretly practising alone, Konan couldn't shake the feeling that something awful was going to happen.
Almost the first thing she had to do in their dance routine was to kick her leg up, almost vertically. This had, of course, been near-impossible in the beginning, as her level of flexibility had been near that of an antique chair, but she'd been stretching and stretching and stretching ever since, with Deidara's help sometimes, and she'd gotten better.
But she'd also torn a whole load of ligaments before being able to do it at all, and her worst fear was that the next time she tried to do it -on stage- her leg would either not move at all, or it would go too far, and she'd break something. Visions flashed through her mind as she sat next to Pain in art, filling her head with images of her falling off stage, breaking her ankle, tripping, flashing the audience...
"Um, you broke your pencil." Konan looked up vaguely as Pain's voice infiltrated her 'zone'.
"What?" she asked stupidly. He grinned at her.
"You broke your pencil. The one you were chewing?" he said, pointing helpfully at her mouth.
Konan's face flamed up as she realized that A) she'd been chewing her pencil, and B) she had bitten a piece clean off, and it was in her mouth.
"Sorry." she muttered, tossing the broken pencil in the trash and staring at her feet. Pain waved a hand at her, in a silent 'Yeah, yeah..'
"Are you worried, too?" she asked awkwardly, wondering why she was asking at all- Pain never seemed to be nervous about anything. As she had known he would, he shrugged.
"Not really. I just hope Ino actually wears her costume." he said with a roll of his eyes. Konan smiled, sensing a story, and asked what he meant. Pain raised his eyes to the ceiling and propped his head up on his hands, grinning at Konan.
"Well, you know how the sewing class has made us all costumes, right?" he asked, and Konan nodded. "Well, she took hers back to the girl who'd made it, and asked her to adjust it."
"That's not so-"
Pain put up a hand as Konan interrupted. He grinned, "I'm not finished yet. She asked the girl (can't remember her name) to make more skin-exposing areas on the dress. Ino felt that it was a bit too prudish or something." he finished, shaking his head, and Konan laughed.
"Typical. But you're not nervous at all?" she asked desperately. Pain raised his eyebrows at her, and took her head, lifting it up to show her. There were deep nail marks in her palms from squeezing her fists together in nerves.
"You need to relax," Pain suggested, his calm voice alone mellowing her out as he patted her back.
"You're going to be great. I know you will -I've seen you practising. You'll do fine." he said encouragingly, and Konan smiled at him with a sigh.
"I guess so. Thanks. I'm just a little tense.." she said, jumping almost a foot when Sasori suddenly clapped a hand around her shoulders.
"I just heard- classes are suspended after lunch, 'cause the dance performances will take too long, and Tsunade wants it over by curfew."
"WHAT!" Konan shrieked, eyes like dinner plates. "Okay, who's got the horse tranquillizer?" Sasori asked, and Pain laughed. Konan spent the entire hour of lunch next to Hidan, not eating and barely talking.
Occasionally she would mutter something hysterically, like "Why am I doing this!" or "I want to die."
"She doesn't seem to handle stress well, does she?" Itachi asked, earning himself a 'No, duh!' from his friends.
Too quickly for Konan's liking -she'd have preferred never- they were walking to the gym, where most of the school was already sitting in the bleachers. It was dark, and a stage had been erected on the left half of the gym.
The theatrical arts students seemed to have played with the lighting a bit, filling the gym with purple and red spotlights. Konan and the others climbed up the bleachers to a free space near the top -the former with shaking knees- and sat down.
"Did somebody bring the camera?" Hidan asked, saying that he didn't want to miss anything while he danced. Well, okay, he said 'bounced his balls around' instead of 'danced'. But, same idea.
"Right here." Pain said, producing it from inside his jacket. Typical, Konan thought with a smile, Pain never seemed to go anywhere without his camera. But then again, it probably cost a good three hundred dollars, so she couldn't blame him.
"We're starting..." Kisame murmured as the lights went down except for one spotlight on Tsunade, who was walking across the stage. She caught a mic that Jiraiya had tossed to her, and glared around at the students before speaking.
"Okay people. Today, the fifth and fourth-year gym classes are presenting the dances they've been working on for about a month and a half. I'm really excited to see everyone's hard work paying off, and I'm sure that all of you are, too." she said, with another glare.
"But I don't want to hear any foul language, or booing, or anything like that. Only positive reviews are permitted in my school. I want you guys to cheer as loudly as possible for everybody's performance, and any kind of screwing around will be met with detention for the rest of the year." She smiled, relaxing, and finished up.
"So, anyways, good luck to the dancers, and have fun!" she said, trotting off stage. Konan didn't miss that the video camera feeding to the big screen that was on the wall had zoomed in onto Tsunade's boobs during the last few minutes of her speech.
Apparently, if Tsunade didn't see the screwing-around, it was okay.
Konan felt another clench of nerves as she realized that she would be on stage soon. In front of everybody. In that lovely -yet kind of revealing- purple samba dress. And in heels. Asmua jogged up onto the stage and caught the mic.
"Okay, everybody. Up first are the hip-hop and group dances. The sambas will be afterwards." he said quickly before jumping down into the audience again. Konan sighed with relief as Deidara, Kisame, Itachi, Kakuzu, as well as a couple people from the row in front of them began to go down the bleachers.
"We'll take pictures!" Konan promised, wishing her friends -who were all in a group dance- good luck. Five minutes later, the lights all went out. Then a spotlight appeared on stage. Konan looked at the big screen, which was zoomed in so you could see the dancers clearer, and saw that it was Hinata and her cousin Neji.
They were facing each other from four feet away, waiting for the music to start. They were both wearing leather, and the funniest thing in the world was Hinata's face: she was blushing worse than Konan.
Hinata was, generally, a modest girl, and being oufitted in a belly-baring bad-ass outfit was probably too much for her. Konan and the others laughed as My Chick Bad started to play, and Konan took the camera from Pain, taking some pictures as they danced.
It was really, really good, and the fact that they looked similar just added to how cool it was. There was tumultuous applause as they finished and went off-stage.
Temari and her brother Gaara were up next, doing a hip-hop routine to Church.
"Is there some kind of pro-incest thing going on with these pairings?" Pain murmured, and Hidan laughed. A couple dances later, the spotlights fell on Deidara, Kisame, Itachi, and Kakuzu.
"Fuck, I love this song!" Hidan grinned as Outta your mind started playing as their friends danced around on the stage.
' I don't give a BEEP I don't give a BEEP, BEEP it!'
Konan laughed as she listened to the frequently beeped-out lyrics as Pain took dozens of pictures.
"I think I know why you love this so much." she called to Hidan, who gave her a thumbs-up. After eight more dances, the others came back up, grinning and looking totally relieved.
"You guys were amazing!" Konan said, hugging Deidara as he plopped down into his seat next to her. "Thanks, un. Bloody hell that was crazy, though." he said with a sigh.
A few more dances later, Sasori went down, and danced with Tenten to I fell in love with the DJ. Konan was taking pictures that time, since Pain had already gone down with Ino. Sasori was actually a really good dancer, and his hips had the best movement out of all the guys so far doing the Samba. Tenten looked pretty, too, with her hair down and wearing a pink feather dress, but Sasori stole the stage, looking absolutely dreamy.
It was probably the lighting, but Konan could have sworn that Sasori kept mouthing words to her. His eyes were locked with hers, and if she looked closely, it looked like he was saying 'Pain loves you' or 'Pain thinks you're hot' .
Which was just impossible.
Completely, utterly impossible, so Konan blamed the spotlight for messing up her eyesight.
As soon as Sasori got back, Pain appeared on stage with Ino, as the first few strains of Hips don't Lie came through the speakers. Konan looked at Ino first, not wanting to think about what Sasori was so obviously mistaken about. Konan took a look at Ino's dress and laughed.
The poor girl in the sewing class: it must have been nearly impossible to make that dress any more skin-baring than it already was. It had a bikini-bottom front part with a short, feathery bustle at the back. There were angluar shapes cut out in the black fabric everywhere that was possible, along with a very low back and a very low V-neck. Konan shook her head with a grin and looked at Pain.
The camera in her hands threatened to fall to the floor. His shirt. Was open. His black shirt was open. Open open open. And he was wearing tight salsa pants. And the scowl on his face (he was not happy) was too sexy for words, when combined with his whole body.
"Yum..." Sasori whispered in her ear, and she half-heartedly punched him in the stomach. She tried three times to get ahold of herself, but her fingers were moving on their own, clicking and clicking and clicking the camera, only on Pain, on his sexy chest, his flat stomach, his butt...
"Pervert." Sasori said in amusement, evidentially noticing her distraction, but she couldn't look away even for a second to frown at him. Finally Pain's turn was over, and Sakura came on stage in a red sequinned dress with matching heels and Sasuke her total opposite in dark blue. They danced a fast-paced tango to a remix of Cell block Tango.
"Konan, babe, we gotta go. We're one after these guys." Hidan said, grabbing her and hoisting her out of her chair.
"I'm coming, I'm coming." she said, dropping the camera in Sasori's lap, but her voice wavered.
"Good luck!" Kisame called. They met Pain on their way down the stairs, and he grinned at Konan who blushed, perversely thinking again of his dance outfit. Konan and Hidan scuttled into their respective gender-labelled changerooms to get ready.
Konan was just shoving her feet into the purple deathtraps called stillettos that she was supposed to wear when Sakura came in, panting and breathless, pink in the face.
"Did you see me?" she asked joyfully, and Konan nodded with a tight smile, feeling quite nauseous from nerves. "You were great." she assured the pink-haired girl before she trotted out of the changeroom backstage.
She felt horrible, like she'd gotten her period, and she had stomach flu, and she was pregnant all in one. Plus she was wearing the most uncomfortable footwear imaginable. She found Hidan within ten seconds, wearing a similar outfit to Pain's.
"Hey. You look hot." he said shortly, and she copied him in response. Four minutes of feeling ill later, they were ushered on stage. It was dark, but Konan and Hidan found where they were supposed to start.
"I feel totally sick. I feel sick, I feel sick." Konan muttered to Hidan, who started about ten metres away..
"If you fucking upchuck on me, I'll..." Hidan was cut off by the start of the music.
Instinctively, Konan started the routine, her mind whirring as her body moved through the memorized steps: first she kind of swayed her hips and went up and down as Hidan walked towards her.
Then they were together, and as soon as there was a 'BWUNP!' of music, she swung her leg up. There was a huge collective gasp from the audience as her leg went high above her head. Then another 'BWUMP!' and she was bending backwards as Hidan held her leg.
Then another, and she was down, but he pulled her up, and now they walked together downstage, and then they put out their arms, doing the memorized steps, Hidan turning her around as she spinned...
Konan's mind was blank, her body moving on its own. Well, really, her mind wasn't blank...it was repeating 'I want to die I want to die I want to die..' over and over, but whatever. Blank enough. DJ turn it up, pump it loud, let's get wild, get your freak on the floor, that's what we came here for...
Finally Konan just moved without thinking, and found that it was a lot more fun; she laughed as she and Hidan did a whole shimmy thing, with her bending over and shaking her shoulders, and him leaning back and doing the same.
The crowd was cheering as they danced and danced, and every so often Konan caught sight of Pain's bright orange hair in the crowd and the flash of a camera. Finally, the song ended with Hidan holding Konan up in a half-splits, and the audience erupted with cheers.
Konan could hear Sasori yelling above the crowd; "THAT'S MY BABY! YEAH BABE! SEXY, GIRL, SEXY! WOO!" Panting, Konan stared up at Hidan, who lifted her up and grinned at her.
"Still feel sick?" he asked, and she nodded silently as they ran off stage. Konan changed in a daze; her mind was still re-running the dance, how awful she had felt, and how much fun it had been, but how scary... She kept subconsciously remembering Pain's face as he watched and cheered.
She gave herself a little shake, telling herself sternly that Pain was off-limits. He was in the friend-zone. It was just like the Ross and Rachel thing from Friends. It would be awkward for everybody else, as well as themselves if they got together...which they wouldn't, because Pain didn't like her that way, and Konan was certain that she would get over her crush before it became anything more than that.
A crush.
A simple little crush that made her feel crazy things like a jolt in her chest when he smiled, or a funny pulsing through her blood when he touched her. She frowned at her reflection in the mirror before she left the room, leaving her costume in the pile of 'worn costumes' as she went.
When she and Hidan got back up to where their friends were sitting, they were immediately blinded by the flash of a camera.
"I just want to say one thing," Sasori said, raising his voice as Konan and Hidan flopped down into their seats, "You guys were so hot." he said with a laugh, and everyone cheered.
"You think it was okay?" Konan asked Deidara, who raised his eyebrows at her. Pain snorted from her right, and she looked at him.
"Okay? That's the understatement of the day. You were..." Pain drifted off, realizing not only that she was listening, but also that he didn't know what to say. And then he noticed that everyone else was silent, watching him.
"You were okay." he said finally, and Konan laughed, thanking him.
"That's not what he really wanted to say," Sasori said, leaning around Pain to look seriously at Konan. "What he really wanted to say is that he thinks that you are mpjhhhph~?" he was cut off as Pain stuffed a hand over his mouth and shoved him away.
"You are...I don't even know what to say." he said, glaring at Sasori, who winked at Konan.
"Look at this! He's blushing!"
"No way!"
"I gotta see this!"
"Move over!"
There was a great shoving and pulling as everybody crowded around Pain, who was of course, not blushing.
"You're making such a fuss about this, Sasori my man. It's like you're jealous. Don't tell me you wanna date Konan instead, un." Deidara said into the silence that had momentarily fallen, his tone light and teasing, but Konan could tell that he was actually a little worried. Sasori looked over, confused.
"What?" he asked, surprised, but Deidara said nothing, just watching as Rock Lee waltzed Kusuna into a stupor. Sasori sighed.
"Deidara, you're being stupid."
"Gee, thanks, un."
"No, I mean, I could never like Konan like I like you."
"Gee, thanks."
"No offence, Konan. You're hot, and gorgeous, and I love ya, but I love Deidara more. That's all." Deidara turned to look at Sasori.
"Well that was unexpected, un." he said in surprise, and Sasori blinked at him.
"What was?"
"You just said you loved me."
"Yeah...It's true..."
"Yeah, but you said it out loud with other people around. That's not normal for you, un." Deidara said, a teasing tone to his voice. Konan was, for some reason, beginning to feel a fan-girl squeal coming on. Sasori blushed and looked down.
"Well, I don't know..." he said shyly.
Konan stared.
Pain stared.
Kisame, Itachi, Kakuzu, and Hidan stared.
"He's blushing! SASORI IS BLUSHING! WHERE THE HELL IS THE CAMERA!"
That night, Konan lay in bed, thinking of Pain, as usual. But also thinking of Sasori. Because as sensual, teasing, and dreamy as Sasori Akasuna was, she had never thought of him as cute until that night. Because that night he blushed.
The next morning, Konan rolled out of bed in total agony. Her feet had never ever hurt so much before, and her legs were so stiff she couldn't believe that all she'd done was dance. It felt like she'd done the cancan in heels for six hours.
After several painful attempts to get dressed properly, she just put on her school pinafore under a big black sweater (to hide the fact that she wasn't wearing anything else) with a pair of leggings (a nightmare to put on) and her slippers. Konan spent the day in pain (haha...in Pain...), shuffling through the halls behind her friends who also looked pretty worn out.
Deidara fell asleep against her during lunch, and Sasori was complaining about how much his hips hurt. Itachi seemed fine, but he was the only one. Kisame had a blister on his foot, Kakuzu had sore arms, and Hidan could barely move without swearing his ass off.
Pain was reasonably okay unless he was reminded of his dance partner, and then he would get all moody and sulky, like he had a headache, or he was pouting. Although Hidan told him to get a grip and that he was being immature, Konan secretly thought that it was really cute.
That day in gym class, Asuma got the class to sit on the floor and gave a huge speech about how proud he was of them and how well they'd done.
"..So anyways, I've got some prizes up here. There are three award-winners in this class. The recipients were voted on by the staff members, and if you do not get an award, it does not by any means mean that you sucked. Everyone's performance was awesome, and you guys are all dancing superstars...or whatever, just don't get pissed. So, the awards in this class...the Best Male Dancer award goes to...Sasori!" he announced, and everybody cheered.
Konan beamed as Sasori stood up and got his award, smirking as Pain's camera flashed.
"Yeah, yeah, congratulations. Now, the next award...for Best Dancing Couple...Konan and Hidan!"
Konan couldn't believe it. Not only had she actually danced, but she was getting an award for it. She didn't move, but Hidan laughed and grabbed her, hoisting her to her feet. That actually caused her a lot of pain, (ha ha Pain again...) but she just reminded herself to hit him later, and went up to get her award.
They both got a little trophy with two golden people dancing together on the top. There was another flash of a camera, and Konan laughed when Hidan did bunny-ears on her head. The rest of gym class was spent lazing around and talking, since Asuma decided that he was sleepy and went to have a nap.
Teachers...honestly.