Beautiful
Okay, thank you SO SO SO SOOOOOOOOOO much for all the amazingly brilliant, fantastic, super-awesome-kickass make-me-lol reviews! I'm SOOOO happy that you guys love this story so much! so, just because I know you're probably all waiting for an update, I started writing this about ten minutes after posting chapter 5. I can't leave this story alone! It's crazy :O. anyways, sit back, strap yourselves in, and enjoy the...er...read! :)
Oh, and I made a random slideshow for this. It's pretty bad, but I just did it for fun. here's the link; if it sucks, don't tell me. I'd rather not know 3 .com/watch?v=yCDt2rQePHI
Anyways...ACTION!
They finally left the restaurant a few hours later. Konan didn't know they'd left; she'd fallen asleep in her dessert. They'd looked around, and found her face-down in her cheesecake. Well, they couldn't really blame her; she had been rudely awakened at one in the morning, then had sprinted through the snow and had been worn out from fear. So they let her sleep (taking lots of memorable pictures, of course), the strawberries sliding down her cheeks when she shifted. She was now happily (if slightly stickily) sleeping as Pain piggybacked her to the bus station, where they would catch the next one back down to Sasori and Deidara's place. Pain laughed when Konan talked in her sleep; "Don't feed the lawyers, they bite. Try the acrobats instead."
When Konan next awoke, she was sitting on somebody's lap, their arms around her, in a bus. She looked around, and saw that it was Pain. He was asleep, and the sky was dark outside. Konan suddenly realized that they must be going back to Sasori and Deidara's place. She looked around, and saw that she was the only one awake. She carefully slid out of Pain's grip and off of him, and walked up to the driver, careful not to nudge any of her sleeping friends.
"Excuse me..." she said awkwardly, holding on to the first seats. The driver looked around, and Konan jumped; his face was almost identical to that of the Joker, white, red and black make up included.
"Don't be scared, girlie!" the driver said, laughing. Konan smiled, embarassed at her mistake: he just had a really wide, red smile with smile-like scars around his mouth, dark eyes and bags under them, and pale skin.
"I was just wondering what stop is next?" she asked, hoping that they hadn't missed theirs, not that she knew what it was. He seemed to think about it for a while.
"Well, I can tell you, we haven't got to your stop yet. Another few hours. But don't worry," he said with a cheery wink, "I'll be sure to wake you up when we get there."
"Oh, thank you!" Konan said, impressed and grateful for his kindness after the traumatic experiences of the night before. It really all seemed like a bad dream now, even though she knew that that was a total cliche.
She went back to her seat, and sat next to Pain, who was leaning against the window. She was looking out past him at the falling snow as they whizzed past it when a long, sleepy arm snaked out around her waist and pulled her towards him. She looked up. His eyes were still closed, but something about his small smile told her that he was awake. She was about to ask him whether or not he wanted her to know that he was awake, when he spoke quietly, turning his head so he spoke into the top of her head.
"You know when you were on the ground, with those bastards around you right before we came?" he asked, and Konan nodded, her face pressed into his warm chest (What is it with him? Doesn't he ever get cold? What is he, a walking heater?).
"I was really scared. I was scared you were-" he broke off abruptly, and Konan was amazed and enthralled by how honest he was...and she suddenly realized...how much he loved her. She blushed furiously, and he seemed to notice, because he laughed quietly.
"Promise me you'll never scare me like that again. Okay? Promise?" he asked, his voice barely louder than a whisper. She nodded, then said in a thick voice; "I promise." Pain tried to move her to see her face, and Konan could just tell that he was grinning.
"Are you...crying?" he asked, in an amused voice. Konan shook her head. "I think you're crying." he said, hugging her closer and resting his chin on her head. Konan just knew that he was still grinning away at her silliness.
"You're crazy. You should have your head examined. I've got the driest eyes on earth." she said, sniffing slightly. He laughed again, making sure not to wake up the others.
"The driest, huh? So why's my shirt getting wet?" he asked shrewdly, and Konan froze. And then she wiped her nose on his chest, grinning when she heard him bite back a laugh, squirming as she rubbed her nose into him.
"That tickles. Stop." he said, half-laughing, and Konan giggled quietly.
"No. Not until you say that I'm not crying." Pain laughed into her hair. She paused, then rubbed her nose into his chest harder. She grinned vindictively when she heard him stuff a fist into his mouth to stop himself from laughing.
"Fine. You're not crying. Now stop that!" he said, laughter imminent in his voice as he spoke desperately as he shuddered as Konan rubbed her nose on him. She looked up, her face smug.
"I knew it. I'm just glad you came to your senses and admitted to yourself that I was not crying. So there." she said, and Pain grinned at her. Then he smirked.
"You're mean. You're very mean, you know that?" Konan examined her nails.
"I know. It's not my fault you're ticklish there." she said, bursting into laughter at the end. Pain's hand covered her mouth, muffling her. She looked up at him, and he was grinning again.
"Shh." he said quietly, then leaned towards her. Her eyes widened slightly as he moved his hand, and covered her mouth with his own instead. Konan was just kissing back when she heard Hidan start snoring, and she laughed. Pain slid his tongue into her mouth as she did so, and that just made her want to laugh more, but she couldn't ignore the shivers she was getting as his tongue slid along hers and explored her mouth as his arms slid around her again, pulling her closer to him.
They were pressed up to the window as close as possible now, kissing fiercely. Konan saw out of the corner of her eye that the window was fogging up before she closed it. She didn't know how long they were kissing, Pain's arms wrapped around her like a blanket, like a favourite song, like the best thing ever, his orange hair tickling her forehead, his warm breath mingling with her own. She slowly realized that music was flowing out of an old speaker above them. It took her a moment, but she eventually recognized the melody as being when you put your hands on me (christina aguilera) Konan laughed, and Pain looked up at her, then at the driver, who winked and gave him a thumbs-up, then concentrated on the road again after turning the volume up slightly.
Pain looked at her, and Konan felt a jolt to her stomach as she recognized The Something in his eyes. "I love you. I love you, so don't scare me. Promise?" he asked again, kissing both her cheeks, then her nose. Konan blushed and looked up into his intricately ringed eyes (she never had gotten around to asking him about the many irises: whenever she really looked at them, she saw The Something, and then she ended up kissing him. Don't ask me how.). "I promise." she said again, obediantly, and kissed him. He kissed back, pressing her back against the window as he kissed her softly, then more and more passionately. Konan twisted her fingers in his hair and pulled him to her.
I love you...I love...
Sasori opened his eyes. He had been asleep for a while: the sky was very dark, and his legs and shoulders were stiff. He looked around. Everybody else was asleep. His eyes fell upon Deidara, who was slumped against him, his breathing slow and silent as he slept. Sasori sighed, and slid his hands slowly over Deidara, pulling him slowly up to sleep against his chest. Deidara's head rested below his chin, his quiet breathing fanning onto Sasori's neck. Sasori shivered slightly, then skimmed one of his hands up Deidara's chest, pulling his long, dark blonde hair back away from his left eye. Sasori looked down at his sleeping friend. Boyfriend. Whatever the official term is.
He moved Deidara's chin up, watching him carefully as he slept: he was really quite beautiful, his long hair spilling over his shoulders, his dark eyelashes casting shadows on his lightly tanned cheeks. Sasori watched him for a moment longer, then kissed him softly, stroking his hair and moving him closer. Deidara didn't wake up until Sasori forced his tongue into his mouth and began exploring his mouth. Deidara opened his eyes slowly, kissing back before realizing what was happening. He frowned slightly, but then seemed to accept it, and shifted to slide one of his hands up Sasori's shirt, stroking his toned chest. Sasori shuddered, breaking away from the kiss to bite at Deidara's earlobe playfully.
"Mmm...you're so sexy.." he said quietly, his seductive, sexy voice making Deidara shiver slightly. He opened his eyes again and looked up into Sasori's heavily lidded brown ones.
"I love you, Sasori my man, un." he said quietly, reaching up and pulling Sasori's head down into another kiss. Sasori broke it again, pulling Deidara towards him again, and tugging playfully on his long hair.
"Deidara..." he said in a husky, slow whisper into Deidara's ear. Deidara sighed and looked away. Sasori frowned, pushing Deidara away and making him face him. They looked at each other from either side of the bench seat. Sasori's face was confused and demanding, Deidara's resentful and disappointed. Then Sasori understood.
"Don't tell me you've got it into that thick head of yours that I don't love you?" Sasori said, half teasing, half exasperated. Deidara opened his mouth for an angry retort when Sasori grabbed him, wrenching him towards himself and kissing him fiercely. He pulled away finally, a little breathless, but still as arrogant as ever.
"I love you. I love you, you idiot. Why the hell did you doubt it for even a second?" he demanded quietly, kissing down Deidara's neck as he spoke. Deidara dug his nails into his palms to hold in his moans.
"I...what do you mean, 'thick head'? You're the one who's being stupid, un." Deidara retorted, putting a hand under Sasori's chin and forcing his face up into another kiss. Deidara kissed him passionately, forcing him down onto the seat and straddling him (or as best as he could considering the lack of space), kissing him determinedly. Suddenly he stopped, and looked up. Music was playing, coming from the old speaker above them. Deidara grinned as he recognized I wanna know what love is (Foreigner) and looked to see the bus driver's grinning reflection in the rearview mirror. Deidara looked down at Sasori, who was blushing faintly.
"I wanna know what love is. I want you to show me, un." Deidara said with the lyrics, and Sasori smirked.
"You wanna know? C'mere, you sexy..." his sentance was lost in a whirl of long, dark blonde hair, hands, and lips.
"I love you, un."
"I love you, idiot."
"Wakey wakey, bitches." Hidan said loudly, and Konan's eyes flew open as she was violently shaken.
"Wh...what?" she asked groggily, and then she looked around. She was squished against a window, with Pain, (who looked just as 'awake' as her) groaning slightly as he tried to get off her. Hidan was leaning over the seat in front of them, grinning down at them.
"Urghh...what time is it?" Konan asked, rubbing her eyes as Pain gave up on trying to move and just collapsed on her, probably asleep again. Hidan laughed loudly.
"We're here, Konan-bitch! Now get up, and make that asshole get up, too. If we're not off in ten minutes, the fucking bus is gonna keep going with us on it!" Konan sighed.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah...five more minutes..." she said, closing her eyes. Pain sat up effortfully, and poked her.
"Nooo!" she moaned, flapping a weak hand at him vaguely. She heard him laugh, and then attack her in a whirl of pokes. She snapped her eyes open, shouting with laughter as he began tickling her. She forced herself to her feet, wobbling slightly as she tottered out of the bench-seat, and whirled to face Pain, who was laughing. She couldn't help herself: she grinned at him. Then she offered him a hand to help him up, and he took it, and pulled hard before she got a chance to place her feet. She came flying forwards and crashed onto him. "Hurry up, you horny bastards!" Hidan shouted from outside the bus. Konan struggled to get off Pain, but the she was scooped up by the waist, and flung over someone's shoulder.
"Um...thanks." she said awkwardly, blushing slightly as she recognized the back of Kisame's head.
"Hey, no problem. It's not hard to tell when it's gonna take you a...while to get moving..." he said, and Konan could just imagine him waggling his eyebrows at her.
"Right..." she grumbled, and she heard Pain laugh. She looked up, and saw that he was right behind them, holding her bag. They got off the bus, and Kisame carried her back to the path. Before she was put down, however, Sasori and Itachi seemed to seize the moment, both in rather different ways. Sasori rushed up, smacked her butt and said 'There you are, sexy!'. Itachi took out the camera and took a picture.
Finally Konan slid off of Kisame's shoulder, muttering darkly to herself about perverted people who are totally mean and deserve to be kicked. They began walking towards Sasori and Deidara's apartment along the snowy path. Pain was half-asleep still, and Konan suddenly got an idea to help him.
"Pain?"
"Yeah?" he replied, yawning. Konan grinned.
"Do you want a piggy-back?" she asked, and he stared at her. Then he grinned.
"Sure." he said, laughing. Konan handed her bag to Itachi, who took it and caught up with Kisame. Konan suspected that he would be taking out the camera. "Okay," she said, bending her knees.
"Just...jump, okay?" she asked, and Pain nodded, still laughing too much to talk.
"Okay. Maybe if you had a run at it or something..." Konan said, thinking. Pain backed up about ten steps.
"Good?" he asked, and she nodded. Okay...here we go...he'll probably be kind of heavy, but nevermin- Konan never finished that thought. Pain's running footsteps came up behind her, and then he had jumped, and there was an impossibly heavy person on her back. Konan squeaked, grabbing his long legs, and struggling to stay on her feet.
"Giddy-up, horsie! We're falling behind!" Pain said, laughing. Konan sighed, readjusted Pain's weight on her shoulders, then took a labouring step. Soon she had taken four, and was catching up (because everybody had stopped to watch).
"Try a run!" Sasori suggested, and she sighed. Then she began running. Or trotting. No, more like shuffling quickly along the snowy path. Suddenly she slipped, and landed face-first in the snow, Pain's incredible weight squashing her while he roared with laughter. Everybody else was laughing,too, as Itachi took pictures of Konan's arms and legs splayed, her face in the snow, with Pain sitting on her, laughing so hard he was probably tearing up. Konan, on the other hand, couldn't breathe. She elbowed Pain, and he got off, still bent-double with laughter. She laboriously pushed herself up on her hands, and sucked in a grateful lungful of air. After getting her breath back, she looked at Pain accusingly.
"You're heavy." she said, and he just laughed harder. Konan tried to retain what little remained of her dignity (it's hard to keep it when you live with a load of boys.) and got to her feet, brushing snow off her front. Pain finally got himself under control again.
"I think..." he said, gasping slightly as he tried to stop laughing, "I think that we should stick to me carrying you." he said, and Konan sniffed.
"I believe that's the first good idea anybody's had all morning." she said stiffly, and he began laughing again.
They finally got the the apartment, which turned out to be a house-like building among a load of identical ones. Sasori and Deidara's house-thing was the closest one to the frozen lake, and it had a huge, snowy field just behind it. They explained that they only called it an apartment because it said 'APARTMENT 6A' on the door. They all trooped in, knocking snow off their boots at the door, and then they all gathered in the little living room. Konan sat down awkwardly on the sofa, next to Pain, who stretched himself out like it was his own home.
"Okay. So, since this is kind of a small apartment...house...whatever it is..." Sasori began, plopping himself down on the floor.
"There aren't a lot of rooms, un." Deidara finished, grabbing an apple from the fruit table and tossing it to Konan (he knew she loved apples) before grabbing one for himself and biting into it. Konan vaguely wondered when the fruit had gotten there, but ignored it.
"So, me and Dei can share the first bedroom," Sasori began pairing off people, trying to save space. "...then Kisame and Itachi can have the guestroom...and Hidan and Kakuzu can have the spare room with the fold-out bed...so that leaves Pain and Konan...here." Konan made a scronching sound with her apple as she bit into it, surprised.
"The sofas unfold into beds, so it's not like you'll be sleeping on the floor, un." Deidara said enthousiastically. Pain shrugged, grinning.
"Sure, that's great." he said, stretching again. 'Great' might not have been Konan's exact description of the situation, but what can you do? Sasori stood up, and grabbed a huge sheet of paper from a cupboard, as well as a large purple marker and some tape. He taped the paper to the kitchen door, and began making a kind of two-week calendar.
"So. We can alternate who makes dinner, and who vaccums and stuff." he explained, and they all nodded. Eventually Sasori had constructd a schedule that made sure that everybody cooked once, and half of them vacuumed once, and the rest cleaned the bathroom once. Then they all spread out on the floor and began playing cards. They played crazy eights first, just to warm up, and then they played Slap Jack (Deidara won, by a mile), then Cheat (Hidan won the first game, then Pain, then Sasori.)
"You just make this funny face when you're lying." Pain explained when she demanded rhetorically why she was so bad at the stupid game.
"Yeah, you look like you're about to laugh." Sasori said, imitating her. Konan shook her head.
"Well, you guys play funny. It's like, as soon as I put down a card, even if it's really say, a six, you all sta-a-a-a-are at me, like you're trying to glare the answer out of me!" she explained indignantly, and they laughed. Next they played a speed tournament. Konan won her game against Kisame, Kakuzu, Itachi, Sasori, and Pain, then lost to Deidara, whose hand-eye co-ordination was so perfect it was kind of awe-inspiring to watch. Then they played five games of Big Two, during which Konan always had the two of spades, but never won. Next they played Black Jack, which Pain won, then Hidan insisted that they play strip poker. Konan had never played before, and was completely lost during the whole game, but only had to take off two sweaters, and her shirt, leaving her shivering slightly in her tanktop.
Hidan, Deidara, Sasori, and Pain had all lost their shirts, and Konan had to keep her eyes firmly glued to her cards, or else, whenever she looked up, Sasori would mouth 'Think Pain's sexy?' at her, and she'd turn red, then Pain would ask why, and then Sasori would tell him... yeah she wanted to avoid that little scenario. Finally Deidara gave up and announced he was going to make dinner. Konan suddenly saw his tattoo (a sewn-up mouth) and told him it was cool. He didn't hear, but Sasori answered for him.
"Oh, does that mean you're gonna show us yours?" he asked teasingly, and Konan sighed.
"Fine..." she said, standing up. Sasori looked surprised.
"Really? Well then! Get stripping, sexy!" he said, and she smirked. She turned around, pretended to lift up the front of her tank as she reached for a pillow. She spun around and threw it straight at Sasori's head. He fell over, and Konan laughed as he sat up, a darkly amused expression on his face. He grabbed the pillow and threw it back, hitting her in the face...from then it just snowballed. Deidara walked in, saying that the spaghetti was ready, to find everybody flinging pillows this way and that, their hair looking like ducks had nested in it, and (in Hidan, Sasori, and Pain's cases) zipper marks on their chests from the pillowcases. They finally all followed Deidara into the kitchen, sat down at the big wooden table, and praised him on his amazing cooking skills: and they weren't exactly lying. The spaghetti was really really good, excluding the piece of fork Konan found in hers.
After everybody was stuffed full of spaghetti, icecream and mini brownies, the others trooped upstairs, and Pain and Konan brushed their teeth in the downstairs bathroom. Konan forced her eyes to stay open with threats like if you close for more than a blink, I will wear YELLOW eyeshadow tomorrow! Eat that! She grabbed her blanket, unfolded her bed from the couch, put on sheets, grabbing a few pillows as she went, changed into her special Holiday pyjamas (red with white reindeer and presents), put on a pair of socks just in case, and fell into bed. She listened to Pain do the same, and then she realized that she wasn't tired at all.
She rolled over.
She rolled over again. She lay on her side. On her stomach. On her back. She assumed the fetal position. She spread herself out. She rolled over so her head and feet hung off the bed. She turned around so her head was at the bottom of the bed, her feet at the top. She rolled over. She lay on her back. She stretched her arms and yawned pointedly at herself. She tried to recite the alphabet backwards, but got stuck at R. She tried counting by threes. She gave up at 66. She tried to pretend that she was a new character in Harry Potter, and she sat in the tent with him and Ron and Hermione, yelling at them that putting on the Horcrux was a really really stupid idea, and they should just put it in the pouch that Hagrid gave Harry, the one where only the wearer can pull it out. HELLO! Are you insane? Why the heck are you following Bathilda? She's crazy! She's not talking! The reason she smells of rotten meat is because she's dead! Honestly... Konan gave up on that attempt: her plan to knock sense into Harry Potter had grown too frustrating to bother with. She sat up, scowling, and saw Pain stretched out on his bed, propping himself up on his elbows and looking at her, smirking.
"I take it you can't sleep?" he asked, and Konan shook her head, crossing her arms.
"It's so irritating!" she fumed, digging her legs out of the twisted mess of blanket they were suffocating in. Pain laughed, crossing his arms behind his head and leaning back. Konan suddenly realized that he was only wearing black and grey plaid pyjama bottoms. She didn't realize that she was looking (Sasori, of course, would have said staring) at his bare chest until she blushed and looked at her hands. She heard him quietly snort with laughter, but she chose to ignore it.
"So...nice pyjamas..." he said, breaking the silence. She looked around, surprised, then down at her pyjamas, having momentarily forgotten what she was wearing.
"Oh...thanks?" she said awkwardly, and he nodded. There was another awkward silence, and then- aaaaaahhhhhhh...and the sound of a flushing toilet.
Konan burst into laughter, and had to hide her face in a pillow to muffle herself. She felt tears well up in the corners of her eyes as she heard humming while somebody turned on a sink...She shrieked with laughter, pressing the pillow to her face as she heard Pain roaring with laughter across the room. She rollled over, and fell off the bed, laughing hard enough to make her stomach hurt. Finally she calmed down, and sat up, gasping for air, appearing over the end of her bed. Pain was still laughing silently (so hard he made no noise) as he watched her. Konan wiped her eyes, gasping as she crawled back onto her bed. Nothing like hearing a friend use the bathroom to break the ice, Konan thought as she fought to regain her composure.
Finally Pain calmed down enough to say: "Who was that?" Konan shrugged, grinning, and beginning to laugh again. Luckily, not for too long this time.
"Are you tired?" she asked Pain, and he shook his head.
"No way." he said, and Konan nodded in agreement.
"So...what should we do?" she asked, and Pain frowned.
"Well...let's see what movies they've got. You never know, they might have the Rocky Horror Picture Show." he said, bringing up an old joke about that movie, when Hidan had suggested that Sasori dress up as Frank N Furter, and Deidara dress up as Rocky for Halloween. Naturally, they had not-so-politely declined. Konan crawled over to the movie shelf, and cheered: "They've got something better!" she announced, and threw him the DVD.
He caught it and looked at the cover before grinning: Sweeney Todd was a definite favourite.
They opened the case, popped the DVD into the machine, turned on the TV, switched it to DVD, pressed play, kept the volume loud enough to be exciting, but quiet enough so the others wouldn't wake up. Then they crashed on Konan's bed (the closest one to the TV) and got comfortable for the movie. Konan was almost humming with excitement: this had to be her very favourite movie. She remembered being teased when she was younger, for swearing to herself that she would never stop loving Johnny Depp. She laughed to herself, realizing that she still had a chance; he's still unmarried. He might have a girlfriend and a few kids, but...there's still a chance. She actually screamed a little with happiness when Sweeney first appeared on the screen.
"Down, Konan, down." Pain said teasingly, poking her, and she grinned at him.
When Sweeney was left kneeling by his dead wife, his throat slit, and Mrs Lovett was dead in the oven, and Johanna and Anthony were probably off eloping, Konan was wiping her eyes, and Pain was resting his chin on her shoulder.
"The end's always so sad." she said in a thick voice, pressing stop, then off, and tossing the remote onto the carpet. Pain made a sympathetic sound, and Konan looked at him, about to accuse him of being asleep, but she stopped when she saw that his eyes were closed. She didn't want to wake him up if he was asleep but...she couldn't help but notice how close her face was to his.
I never really....she didn't even know what was at the end of that thought. She moved her chin just two inches up, and she kissed him, closing her eyes. He kissed her back, sliding his arms around her and rolling over, laughing when she squealed when he was on top of her, kissing her carefully. Konan was trying not to smile. She bit down gently on his bottom lip, and was surprise when he made a weird groaning sound. She opened her eyes, staring at him, before he began kissing her deeper. She put her hands at the back of his head, pulling him closer, then rolled him over so she was on top. She was sitting on his chest, her legs on either side, and she was leaning over and kissing him fiercely.
"I love..." she whispered, placing her mouth just at the corner of his, her lips moving on his skin as she spoke. She suddenly remembered something she'd wanted to tell him.
"Pain?"
"Yeah?" he replied quietly, running his hands up her legs and sides slowly, looking up at her, The Something prominent in his eyes. Konan kissed his cheek softly, still speaking against his skin.
"You know when you guys were running after me, and I thought you were...well...not you? And I stopped and sat down?" Pain nodded. Konan sighed.
"Well, I thought I was probably going to die before ever seeing you again. And I...I love you." she said quietly, knowing that she hadn't finished her sentance properly, and there was the unsaid thing in her mind, and she knew that Pain knew she hadn't finished, but he seemed to understand. He looked at her, running one hand through her blue hair. He grinned at her.
"I know." he said impishly, and she smirked at him before kissing him again.
Sasori came down the stairs the next morning.
"Well well well. What were we doing last night?" he asked teasingly, putting his hands on his hips. Konan opened her eyes and looked at him.
"What are you talking about?" she asked him, sitting up. Until she realized she was still straddling/lying on Pain, who was still asleep, his hair messy and his mouth slightly open. Konan looked from Sasori to Pain. And then she reddened fiercely, scrambling off Pain and walking briskly past Sasori.
"It's not what it looks like, I swear!" she shouted desperately at him while he laughed loudly, clutching onto a door for support.
After Konan had gotten dressed (in her grey tights, black shorts, white t-shirt, grey cardigan and an open black peacoat) and had ignored Sasori for an entire hour while he told everybody else about 'Konan's cowgirl adventure', as it would come to be known, and everyone else had completed the grueling feat of going-down-the-stairs and had all arranged themselves around the dinner table, they all fell upon the waffles and fruit that Itachi had made.
"'o, wha're ee ooing 'oday?" Hidan asked with his mouth full of whipped cream and waffle. Konan snorted into her cereal, and he gave her a dirty look. Sasori sipped his orange juice thoughtfully.
"Well, the ice is thick enough now to go skating. But we don't have any skates. Or we could have a snowball fight in the field...or we could watch movies...or we could...uh..."
"OOoooh! Can we go skating? Please? Please please please please please? I loooooove skating!" Konan said, almost hitting Kisame in the face with her elbow in her excitement. Sasori looked at her, smirking.
"Okay, I can add skating to the ever-growing list of things you loooooooove..." he said teasingly, and she shot him a filthy look, kicking him under the table as she did so. Unfortunately she missed, and had to apologize to Kakuzu, who consequently was rubbing his shin and scowling.
"How many times have you skated, yeah?" Deidara asked, rubbing his eye sleepily. Konan laughed.
"Never." she said, and there were quite a few stares sent her way.
"Never? You've never gone skating?" Itachi asked her, surprised. Konan shook her head.
"No. I fell through ice once, but that wasn't skating, really..." she said, recalling the time she'd been dared to crawl across the frozen lake. She had been about half-way across, (and had seen a moose trotting across the ice) when she saw a sign up ahead. Curious in the way only a ten-year old could be, she stood up and ran across to it. It read THIN ICE. And the rest goes without saying.
"So, if you've never gone skating, how do you know that you loooooove it?" Pain asked, grinning. Konan thought.
"Well, I don't know. I just like ice. And skating looks like it's a lot of fun." she said, and he laughed. They all put on their coats and boots, and tromped through the deep snow out to the frozen lake. When they got there, Konan began to get excited: this would be her first official skate in her life! Wheee...so fun...:3 But no.
"Okay. How about the first person to fall over makes lunch?" Kisame suggested, and they all agreed. Konan pulled on her gloves, and followed the others as they tentatively stepped onto the ice. They made it into the middle of the ice without too much trouble: as long as they walked very...ve-rrrrr-yyyyy...veeeeerrrrrrrryyyyyyyyy slowly, there wasn't too much trouble involving landing on their butt. The problem started when Konan stepped a little too fast.
She slipped, and grabbed onto Pain's arm. He immediately lost his balance, and tripped over Sasori's leg. Sasori began sliding around, and grabbed onto Kakuzu's scarf for support. The scarf tightened around Kakuzu's neck, and he coughed and gasped, flailing around until he crashed into Hidan, who swore at him, and, because of the hard push he'd been given, zoomed, flailing around, into Deidara, who had seen it coming, and had therefore grabbed onto Kisame, who he trusted to have good balance. He didn't. Kisame slipped and slid around until he knocked over Itachi and landed on him. Spread-eagled on the ice, in a rather large and amusing dog-pile, they all glared at Konan.
Who had not fallen down.
And who was now laughing hysterically, taking pictures. She shuffled forwards, screaming with laughter, taking picture after picture. Until Hidan gave her a sharp kick to the foot, and with a shriek, she toppled over and landed on her butt. And then they all started laughing. Until they heard the crack of ice.
Luckily, it was just a little kid who had smashed a large rock into the side of the pond. They all breathed a sigh of relief, and began staggering to their feet. None of them succeeded, so they all had to crawl to the side of the pond, tails between their legs as more children came and began to laugh at them. Until Hidan caught one of them in the face with a well-aimed snowball, and a loud swear.
They finally all trooped back inside, took off their boots, drank at least a gallon total of hot chocolate, and all squished onto the two beds (which had been folded back into their original couch-form) and decided what movie to watch.
"How about ...Nightmare on Elm street? No...what about The Shining?"Sasori suggested, digging through a large pile of horror films. Konan sighed: she hated scary movies. Everybody else was nodding, kicking back and looking happy about watching bodily functions go amiss, and innards spew across walls. Pain looked at Konan, plainly realizing that she hadn't agreed.
"Do you want to?" he asked, and she sighed again.
"Well, I guess so." she said, not wanting to be the wet blanket (her nickname when it came to horror movies not directed by Tim Burton was Cute, Crying Konan)
"Just so long as it's not Arachnophobia, right Konan?" Sasori asked teasingly, and she shot him a look. He put in the movie, and as the opening credits ran, Konan made sure that she had a pillow on her lap ready to cover her face with, and her hands were at-the-ready to slap over her ears. She had also made a list of excuses to leave the room for, such as 'bathroom', 'popcorn', and if she'd used the other two, and it was really urgent, she could pull the old 'period' card. Boys just leave you alone whenever you mention the 'bitchy time of the month' in their presence.
Ah, the immaturity of boys can make a girl's life so much simpler.
The movie began. The horrible suspense was kicking in, and Konan was already starting to feel slightly ill. When the warning of the Overlook hotel was given to the little family, Konan braced herself, and tried to guess what would happen so she'd know in advance: Danny had The Shining, so could see random, ghostly, scary things that had happened once. Jack was obsessed with his writing, and began to go crazy. The wife was determined to leave with Danny, whether Jack came or not.
Konan volunteered to get more popcorn when the elevator started spurting blood. She was walking to the kitchen when suddenly somebody behind her shouted; "OH MY GOD, KONAN!" she jumped about a foot, screaming, until she heard laughter. She shook her head, heart pounding a mile an minute, and got more popcorn.
And then she had an idea.
She opened the freezer, got out the ice bucket, and stuffed her hands into it. Sure it was cold, but she was certain that it would be worth it. Once her hands were nice and cold and wet, she tiptoed silently out the alternative kitchen door, which led to the dining room, and then through the back of the living room. They wouldn't see her coming. She was already laughing inside as she made her way silently across the carpet. At the back of the sofa, she got to her knees and waited, sitting directly behind Sasori, who she knew was behind the shouting. She peeked over the sofa. Jack was tying to axe his way into the bathroom where his wife was hiding, having just let her son escape without her. Just as Jack's face appeared in the hole in the door, Konan reached up with her ice-cold hands, and closed them around Sasori's throat.
With a strangled yell, Sasori ripped himself from her grasp, and leaped up. Konan hid behind the couch, so he couldn't see her or her hands. He was panting, looking terrified, shaking... Everyone else was staring at him as the scary, suspenseful music continued...
"What?"
"What the fuck's wrong?" Sasori was staring at the place he'd been sitting, traumatized.
"H-hands! I swear to God, I just felt cold hands around my neck! I swear I did! Right there!" he said, pointing a shaky finger at the place on the couch he'd just vacated. Pain and Deidara, who had been sitting on either side of him, moved.
"What the hell are you talking about? I think you're just being silly." Kisame said, staring at Sasori, who was still shaking. Konan, meanwhile, had crawled past the dining-room wall (which was just a few inches behind the couch) and had returned to the kitchen, where she grabbed the popcorn, and walked into the living room again.
"What's all the shouting for? You look like you've just pissed yourself, Sasori. Don't tell me you're scared. I thought you were too manly for that." she said, popping a kernel into her mouth, grinning at their confused-to-scared faces.
"Well, I got more popcorn, if you want some." she said innocently, walking over and sitting back down. Sasori sat down again, too.
"I'll have some." he said, and he handed him the bowl. When he took it, he touched her hand, and jumped.
"Your hands are cold." he accused, and then his eyes widened then narrowed as he started to smile. She looked at him innocently.
"Yes? I got myself some ice for a drink. Is there a problem?" she asked, and Pain, who understood, laughed.
"I guess you weren't imagining it, Sasori." Itachi said drily as Sasori stuffed a handful of popcorn into his mouth, fixing his attention back onto the screen. "Nice one." Pain whispered to Konan, and she grinned vindictively.
I'm not Cute Crying Konan this time.
That is, she wasn't. When Jack froze to death, lost in the maze, she did feel like crying: he wasn't evil, he had just gone crazy. Like her mother... except Jack was trying to kill his wife and son, and had axed a man in the chest. He was just a misunderstood soul, who had fallen under the pressure of his creative writing...all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy...And the Redrum-Murder mirror scene had to be one of the most frightening movie concepts that Konan had ever seen. They were all sitting in silence, the aftermath atmosphere of terror of the movie settling upon them. And then the phone rang.
They all jumped and yelled.
After three rings, Sasori got to his feet and answered it.
"H-hello?" he said, and Konan knew that she, at least, was on the edge of her seat. What if it was...I don't know...something horrible? Jack was alive, and he was on the phone?
"Oh...hi, Mom." Sasori said, and they all laughed as Konan let out a huge sigh of relief.
Thank goodness for mothers.
Okay! Yay! I know this chapter's a little shorter than my usuals, but I wanted to fit all the Christmas fun into the next one. Hope this one was okay. It took a while, and it was mostly kissing. No, I haven't watched the Shining, or any horror movie in fact. It's sort of embarassing, but the scariest movie I ever watched start to finish was Michael Jacksons' thriller, which I watched when I was five. Yes. I had a nightmare that my mother was a zombie, and I was hiding behind a shed as my dead mother crept around the corner while Michael (May he Rest In Peace) and his zombies were dancing and singing away. (shudder.) I have watched Sweeney Todd, but I was more intruigued by the character development and the poor, poor characters of Mrs Lovett and Sweeney himself than grosssed out by the frequent throat-slitting. I suppose my least favourite parts of that movie were when the bodies fell onto their heads on the concrete, and when Mrs Lovett (spoiler) was burned alive. That was nasty. But I have absolutely no stomach for scary movies. I begged to turn off Scary Movie 2 during the opening music. I screamed when the phone rang after watching the trailer for the Children of the Corn and The Shining with the sound on mute. Yes, I suck. Yes, I'm a baby. But whatevs, I tried my best to summerize the movies.
Hope this is okay! Keep reading please, and I love reviews! :))) 3 Ciao!