So. Here it is. Chapter 11, I think. Okay, I seriously hope I get this up before Monday...urghh...
And: I do not own Naruto, or the songs used in this chapter (Nine2Five, Love shack, Wannabe, Rich girl, Cecelia, My humps, etc.)
Okay. So. Here it is. Yeah I know, I said that already. Drumroll! AAAAAAAnnnnnnnnnnddddd...GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!Just freak out! 3
WHy sO sErIOus?
Konan snapped open her eyes. It was six a.m, the 20th of February, Pain's birthday.*** Silently, she smiled, and rolled out of bed. She quietly got dressed in a black Lolita-style lacey/ruffled skirt, a black lace camisole, a black cardigan, a grey scarf, sheer white tights with black flowery patterns, and black ribbons holding her hair in two pigtails (bunchies? two ponytails? What do you call them, anyways), and grabbed her red lipstick from her makeup bag, lightly applying a thin layer before taking it with her. She slung her black peacoat onto her chair, to be worn later, with her black bootees. Grinning to herself, she crept silently into Pain's room.
As she expected, he was asleep on his bed, his bare chest facing upwards, his arms and legs slung around, as relaxed as a cat near heater, his eyes closed, and an expression of complete calm on his handsome face. Konan bit back a grin as she pulled the lid off the lipstick. Sliding onto the bed next to him, she gently pressed the tip of the lipstick onto his chest. She watched his face carefully as she began to write, making sure to move the lipstick slowly, in case he woke up. He shifted sligthly, but didn't stir.
Laughing inside, she swirled the colourful makeup gently over his hard chest, and gradually, a bright red 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SEXY-PAIN!' began to take shape. Once she was finished, she applied the red lipstick to her mouth, and, just for fun, kissed his cheek very, very gently. Just before she was about to pull away, however, a long arm snaked around her waist, and crushed her against him. She blinked, looking up at him; he had definately been asleep a few seconds ago, but now, he opened one eye and gave her a smile.
"Hey, Konan. What's up?" he asked, as casually as if she'd just walked into class slightly late, and had just sat down next to him. She blinked again, then looked down, making sure the lipstick wasn't getting near her white-ish clothes. She breathed a sigh of relief when she realized that he was being careful to avoid touching her clothes with his bare chest.
"Er...good morning...Pain..." she said, and he laughed quietly, kissing the top of her head.
"So, any particular reason why this morning you felt like coming into my room at the crack of dawn-" Konan snorted. "-and chose to write something on my chest in lipstick?" he asked pleasently. Konan grinned at him.
"No...no reason at all." she said innocently, and laughed when he poked her stomach, smiling.
A short while later, Pain got out of bed, and Konan told him to meet her and the others in the 'living room' (Sasori had officially moved into Deidara's room a few weeks ago, so his old room had become the living room. Itachi had donated a sofa, Hidan had moved a table in, and Konan had put a few of her chairs into the room, to give it more of a 'you can sit here and talk' feel.) He agreed, and she grinned as she closed the door behind her, and went to wake up the others. She knocked on Itachi's door, and then remembered that he'd probably be in Kisame's room. She opened Kisame's door, and turned on the light to find Itachi and Kisame in bed, Kisame's arms around Itachi's waist. Konan blushed, but managed to throw a large stuffed shark at them to wake them up.
"It's Pain's birthday! You've gotta get out of bed, okay?" she announced, as they mumbled and groaned and sat up. Not exactly great progress, but those two could stay romantically in bed for hours, so she didn't want to push her luck and physically try and drag them out. That could get...ugly...
Next she forced her way into Hidan's rooom, covering her eyes just in case. When she decided that they were probably not naked, she opened her eyes. Hidan and Kakuzu were nowhere to be seen, but then, the light was off, and it was pretty darn dark. She stepped forwards, feeling for the lightswitch on the wall, but all thoughts of shedding light on the situation were stopped in their tracks as her foot met something warm. Something warm and fleshy. Something warm, fleshy, and wet. Biting down on her fist to stop herself from screaming, she jumped off of it, and practically flew over to the bed, jumping onto it and groping for the knife she always carried...which she didn't have, since she wasn't wearing what she usually did. Drat. Suddenly Hidan's voice rose out of the darkness.
"Shit! What the fuck was that for! Damn, that hurts like a freaking bastard!" Hidan groaned, sitting up and holding his squashed hand against his bloody chest. Konan gasped for air, beginning to laugh, and hit the switch. Light filled the room, shining upon Hidan's bare, bloody and gouged chest. Konan's breath caught in her chest for a moment.
"Er...Hidan...what are you doing?" she asked. Hidan looked up at her, his purple eyes amused.
"What the fuck do you think I'm doing? A ritual for Lord Jashin! But what the fuck are you doing in here? I mean, sure, pain is fucking awesome, but damn, that fucking hurt!" he said, grinning and rocking his hand. Konan laughed and slid down to the floor, running a hand through one of her pigtails.
"I came to wake you and Kakuzu up! It's Pain's birthday, remember? We're going down to Radley's, remember? And then Mesdames and Messieurs...and then the beach...remember?" Hidan rubbed his head and yawned.
"Yeah, yeah, I remember. Where the fuck is Kakuzu? Kakuzu?" he shouted, and after a while, Kakuzu slowly emerged from the connecting room.
"What?" he asked gruffly. Hidan laughed, gesturing at the huge gouge marks in his chest, and at the pair of scissors potruding from his thigh.
"Stitch me up, dammit!" Hidan ordered, and Konan hid a smile behind her hand. Kakuzu walked slowly towards the bed, and sat down. "I believe that before you started your dumb ritual, you said to stay out of the way. Now what, you want my help?" he said, examining his nails. Hidan rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, okay, I did say that. But, whatever, just c'mon and sew me up, okay?" Hidan said, making a puppy-face. Konan thought that the big-eyes, cute-face tactic was lessened slightly by the huge puddle of blood Hidan was lying in. Kakuzu's expression didn't change, and he didn't move. Hidan sighed, and tried on a winning smile.
"Uh...Kakuzu...would you mind sewing me up? Pretty please? With sugar on top?" Kakuzu sighed, got off the bed, and grabbed a needle and thread from the bedside table. He sat down next to Hidan, and viciously punctured hs skin with the needle.
"Ow! DAMNIT! That hurts! Jashin, fuck!" Hidan roared as Kakuzu began savagely stitching him up.
"If you can complain about the needle, at least start complaining about the holes in your chest, you big baby." Kakuzu said methodically, and Konan smiled; it was fun to watch these two. At least, it was fun after you got over the pools of blood, huge gouges, and savage operations.
"You stupid dick! That's not even in the same league! This isn't some tiny little boo-boo, asshole!" Kakuzu made a non-commmital sound, and Hidan snarled.
"This fucking hurts like hell! It's like, damn, hyper-mega-ultra pain!" Hidan roared, and Kakuzu smirked under his mask.
"Good. Being the S+M perv you are, I bet you love it." he said simply, and Hidan swore even more violently. Konan excused herself, and went to wake up the others before any blood spattered onto her white shirt.
As she left the room, a scream of pain erupted from Hidan's lips, followed by a moan of pleasure. For the sake of her own sanity, Konan didn't look to see what had happened.
She knocked on the door to Deidara's room, then opened it. Waking up her friends was more difficult than she'd thought; even now, she wasn't sure if Kisame and Itachi had even started to get up. She rolled her eyes, and walked into the dark room. She the light of the hallway spilled into the room, and two masculine groans and complaints of 'five more minutes...' and 'turn off the lights, un...' could be heard over the quiet creaking of bed springs.
Konan grinned; Sasori and Deidara were probably her two best friends, besides Pain (haha, he doesn't count), within her group of friends. No matter how much they teased her, she still loved 'playing' with them. Her smile grew slightly wider as she moved silently over to the bed, and poked the one closest to her. His long, dark blonde hair told her that it was Deidara. He cracked open one slanted blue eye.
"Hey." Konan whispered. She saw him smile slightly, then close his eye.
"Hey. What's up, un?" he asked, and she sighed; did everybody forget it was Pain's birthday and that to skip class properly they would have to leave before breakfast!
"You have to get up, silly. We've got to go." she said, tugging on his hand. He sighed and rolled over, poking the boy next to him. Sasori's dark red hair was the definition of bed-head, and he, like Deidara, opened only one eye upon being poked.
"What?" he asked sulkily, sounding just like a pouting kid. Konan bit back a grin.
"Wake up." she said. He shook his head slowly, tugged on Deidara's hair, pulled him against his chest, and rolled over. Konan sighed; it was going to come down to brute force.
"Get up!" she exclaimed, knowing that she would start to laugh any minute as she grabbed Deidara's foot and began tugging him out of bed. Sasori's arms tightened once more around Deidara's waist, holding him still. Konan pulled harder. Sasori held tighter. Deidara opened one eye, looking at Konan, his face expressionless, and yet perfectly communicating his thoughts. Konan stared at him for a second, then tugged on his foot again, a grin breaking across her face.
Sasori opened his eyes, looking very much like Usagi-san in the early morning (Junjou Romantica, if you don't know, look it up, it's so epic :3). Konan couldn't smother her mouth completely, and a solitary giggle escaped her. In an instant, so quickly that all Konan had seen was a blond and red blur, two hands seized her arms and pulled her into the bed. Then two pairs of arms wrapped around her, one pair around her shoulders, the other around her waist. Aww...group hug...:3 Konan sighed.
"Are you guys ever going to get ready? We told Tsunade we'd leave for the funeral at eight, and it's like, 7:45 now!" Konan said, exasperated. On either side of her, Sasori and Deidara laughed softly.
"What makes you think we're not ready?" Sasori asked.
"Well said, Sasori my man." Deidara smirked. Konan blinked owlishly as both of the boys rolled out of the bed, and stood up to face her. The only things they weren't wearing were shoes and shirts.
"Look, I've got my wallet and ID in here already." Sasori demonstrated, digging a small black wallet with a little embroidered doll (that looked like Deidara) on the cover out of his back pocket, waving it in front of Konan's face. She laughed and rolled over, suddenly having the oddest suspition that all the others, Itachi, Kisame, Hidan and Kakuzu, were all ready as well, and had probably only been pretending to be asleep (well...perhaps in Hidan's case, he really wasn't ready to go...) to tease her. Boys could be such...boys.
"Okay, okay, okay. I get it. Fine." Konan said, still grinning, as she rolled over again on their bed, reaching her hands under the pillows as she stretched.
Sasori and Deidara watched her with identically amused expressions as she felt something weird and rubbery under the pillow. She closed her fingers around it; it felt sort of like an extremely thin baloon. She tugged it out from under the pillow, completely unaware that Sasori and Deidara were watching her every move, and every so often exchanging knowing looks with each other. She held it between her fingers and dangled it above her face, looking at it.
It took her a full ten seconds for her to realize that she was holding a condom.
And another full ten seconds of wondering why it was pink and smelled of strawberry to realize it was flavored.
Ten seconds later, she realized why it was there.
She blinked.
She sat up.
She handed it worldessly to Sasori, who smirked and winked at her, then slid his arm around Deidara's waist. Konan got off the bed, brushed off her shirt, and walked stiffly from the room, reminding them to be ready in five minutes.
She closed the door behind her.
"EWWWWWWW! EWWWWWW! NAAAAASTYYYYY!"
Sasori and Deidara burst into laughter.
At eight o'clock exactly, they were all standing outside Tsunade's office, all wearing black overcoats, solom expressions, and carrying black umbrellas. Konan had accesorized with a black Cruella DeVil-esque lace hat-accessory-thing (I seriously don't know what they're called), and black gloves. Deidara's black eyeliner was thicker and slightly smudged, as was Konan's, but she had dark tear tracks where he had none. All in all, they looked a thoughraly miserable party. Tsunade surveyed them all, hands on hips, letter of permission in hand.
"Hmph." she made a snorting sound that expressed her suspicion perfectly, but nodded. "Please give my sympathy to your family, Hidan. I am truly sorry for the loss of your great-uncle. And as for you lot, the-" she broke off, holding the letter up to read it, "-favourite acquaintances and bingo team of the deceased, Mr Benji Cadaver-" she gave the group a hard look, taking in the red of Sasori's converse, just visible under his long black coat, before continuing. "I hope that you will behave, and may your friend rest in peace." she said, flashing them a smile before waving them out the doors into the pouring rain.
In a synchronized movement, they all put up their black umbrellas, and walked solomnly, silently, two by two, down the overgrown pavestone path, through the rickety iron gates, and out along the puddle-adorned sidewalk. Konan, who was walking next to Pain, reached out and held his hand. He squeezed her hand, and she looked up at him, giving him a small smile, remaining absolutly silent. The only sound was the steady pounding of the rain and the slow tread of their footsteps, accented by an occasional splosh as they stepped through puddles. They turned the corner around the end of the high, stone fence, and were instantly hidden from the view of the school.
"Okay," Pain said, and the others turned to look at him, some grinning, some not. "I guess nobody informed me that we'd be scattering dirt onto a coffin on my birthday." he said, and the others laughed.
"We're not." Itachi said, with a small smile.
"We're giving you the best fucking party ever, man, so you better appreciate it!" Hidan said, punching Pain's arm, grinning. Pain laughed.
"So...we're not going to the funeral of your great-uncle?" Pain asked with a smirk. Hidan laughed.
"Fuck, no! I don't think I even have one! But seriously, Big Boobs would never let us leave school if we told her what we're really doing!"
"C'mon people, we're running a tight schedule here! I hate being late." Sasori said, and grabbed Pain's wrist, dragging him towards the bus stop, and everybody else followed, grinning; Sasori had to be the most impatient person ever.
Within fifteen minutes, they were all piled onto the black doubledecker, and were speeding down the thin, twisting road leading to the city. Konan was sitting next to Pain, grinning as she looked out the window.
"Hey! It's snowing!" she said excitedly, pointing, and everybody piled onto the left side of the bus to look.
"OOOOH! WOOOOOOW! AMAAAAZING!" Konan felt a sweatdrop appear on her head; how old were these people? But she was happy, too, so she joined them in a lengthly conversation about snow, and their favourite things to do in the snow. After a while, Pain broke the silence that had briefly fallen upon them; "Um, dare I ask where we're going?" Everybody exchanged conspiratorial smiles, and put a finger to their lips. Pain shook his head with a grin, and looked out the window again.
"Hey, you kids wanted to get off at the first stop after Dementia, right?" the bus driver called out, and they all chorused "Yes!" back at him. He said that the next stop was the one they wanted, and they all piled off of the bus into the snow-dusted city.
"Radley's?" Pain asked, grinning broadly, and everybody nodded as they stepped into the lit-up arcade, which had a lingering aroma of cigar smoke.
"Hey, Boo! Usual table, 'kay?" Kisame called over to a dark-haired, tanned, wicked-eyed man who stood behind the Pay-Here counter. He looked to be around twenty-five or something. He removed the large black cigar from his mouth, and flashed the group a dazzelingly bright smile, winking at Konan before she followed the others in.
"Boo Radley?" she asked, smirking. Pain heard and looked down at her, smiling.
"Yeah, funny, right? Funnier still is that he can't stand To Kill A Mockingbird. Says that his namesake is too much of a recluse for his liking." Konan shook her head, smiling, and looped her arm around Pain's as they walked towards the only empty pool table, which was near the bar. While Pain, Sasori, Hidan, Itachi, Kisame and Kakuzu grabbed pool sticks and began setting up the table, Deidara and Konan sat on the barstools, fully prepared to watch. Konan had never touched a poolstick in her life, and she had seen too many Pink Panther movies to trust herself with one. Deidara simply preferred watching people play than play himself, despite being the best among the others.
"Hey, you girls want drinks?" the bar attendant asked gruffly. Konan and Deidara swivelled their bar stools to face him, Konan's expression amused, Deidara's the picture-perfect image of not amused. The bar man was big, and muscular in the way that probably meant he broke bar fights up with ease. Dark purple tattoos snaked up both his arms, and he was chewing a thick wad of gum.
"Um, can I get a...non-alchoholic Shirley Temple?" Konan asked awkwardly, unsure if they served them. The man cracked a smirk at her before turning to Deidara.
"What about you, gorgeous? Menu's up there, see anything you like?" he asked, giving him a practised leer which was probably supposed to be attractive. Deidara raised his eyebrow slightly.
"I think I need a second opinion, un. Sasori my man?" he called, a small smirk just below the surface of his nonchalant expression. Konan bit back a grin as she watched Sasori lean over Deidara, wrapping his arms around Deidara's shoulders, his face buried in his neck.
"What?" he asked, his voiced muffled. Deidara looked up at the barman calmly.
"I don't know what to order, un. What do you think?" he asked, and Sasori's eyes raised slowly to the barman's, who was now looking quite a bit less cocky, mostly due to the dangerous expression in Sasori's dark eyes.
"You should get a margarita. Sexy." Sasori said, biting Deidara's ear gently, all the while keeping eye contact with the barman, and Deidara nodded. The barman lumbered off, looking pretty miffed, while Konan sipped her drink, smiling. Sasori spoke quietly to Deidara for a moment before turning and returning to the game of pool. Deidara turned to look at Konan, holding the drink the barman slid towards him. Deidara grinned at Konan, who was swinging her legs childishly off her barstool. She stuck her tongue out at Deidara, and he laughed.
"So, whil the others are playing pool, do you wanna play something?" Deidara asked, and Konan nodded.
"Sure! Like what?" she asked, and Deidara replied with Truth or Dare. Konan weighed the pros and cons of the game; PROS: have fun, learn awesome things about Deidara and get him to do embarassing things. CONS: Be forced to reveal embarassing secrets and/or stories about herself, stress out, and be made to do embarassing things. For the sake of having fun, she said yes, and Deidara grinned wickedly at her.
"Okay. Do you want to go first?" he asked, and she nodded.
"Yes. Yes I do. Truth or Dare?" she asked, and Deidara automatically answered Truth. Konan grinned; she had a list of questions she had always wanted to ask Deidara.
"How did you start going out with Sasori? Details are manditory." she said, and Deidara sighed; this was something he never really discussed with her.
"Okay...So. Prepare yourself for the craziest story ever, un!" he said, giving her a thumbs-up, and Konan laughed. Deidara tugged on his long bangs for a second before taking a deep breath and beginning The Story****.
"So, when I first came to St Misery, Sasori was basically the School's own Host Club. He flirted with everybody, but never went out with them; he just teased them, and basically in short, the entire school (give or take a few stubborn cases) were in love with him, un. Except me, because I hated the way he would flirt with me and everybody all the time. Looking back, I guess it's totally obvious that I was jealous. So, he asked me out, which was pretty much ground-breaking news; he never asked anybody out before, un. But I said no. And I kept saying no until...well...for a while. And then he'd always try and convince me to say yes, like, he'd kiss me, and I'd say no. We'd make out, I'd say no. Stuff like that, un, until I finally realized I was in love with him. That's when I said yes, and...that's it, un." Deidara finished, and Konan had to wipe the stars out of her eyes.
"AWwwww! That's adorable! I swear, you guys are like, perfect for each other..." Konan said, spinning around on her barstool. Deidara laughed.
"Aw, geez, another fangirl. Just what we need." Konan paused, grinning.
"What do you mean?" she asked, and Deidara laughed.
"Kakuzu's making money off of us by taking pictures of us making out or something, and selling them to all the girls who are crazy BL lovers, un." he said, and Konan laughed; Kakuzu was Kakuzu, after all. Konan entered her mind theater, remembering the line from Robots; "See a need, fill a need!" The curtains of her mind-theater opened, and Kakuzu stood there, in a Shakespear Hamlet pose.
"See a need...make some money off of it!" he said dramatically, and Konan snorted with laughter, returning to reality.
"Truth or dare?" Deidara asked, and she bit her lip.
"Truth...?" she said uncertainly, and Deidara grinned.
"Good choice, un. Have you and Pain done anything yet? Like, had sex, or blowjobs, or...?" he asked, and Konan immediately blushed bright red. She could practically feel the steam pouring from her ears as she shook her head. Deidara nodded, grinning.
"I thought so." he said, nodding smartly, and Konan's chibi-soul escaped from her mouth. "Stay alive, there, Konan. It's your turn, un." Deidara said, miming forcing her soul back in. Konan laughed.
"Okay. Truth or dare?" she asked, and Deidara answered Dare. Konan laughed evilly. Deidara shook his head, smiling as she adopted a King Tadase pose. (Shugo Chara3)
"You..." she dramatically pointed her finger at Deidara, standing in a victoriously arrogant pose. "..have just made a HUGE MISTAKE!" she said, smirking. Deidara, to his credit, did look half-nervous. He was probably faking it, but whatever. "I...Dare...You...To..." Deidara took advantage of her dramatic pause to fake a yawn. "To...Hit on Sasori, and remain the seme throughout the whole thing! Don't you dare back down! But also, don't go too far, because seriously, we can't keep playing if you go off and lock yourself in a bathroom or something." Konan said importantly, and Deidara laughed.
"I just have to...er...stay the seme? Through the whole thing? Sure, un..." he said, but he looked a little uncertain, and Konan knew why; this would be a particularly difficult dare, because Sasori, with his huge ego, and all of his arrogance, could never relinquish his hold on being the Man in the relationship. Deidara tossed his long hair over his shoulder, and slid off the bar stool, walking determinedly towards Sasori, who was leaning on his poolstick as Itachi attempted a difficult shot. Konan couldn't help herself from grinning; this would be fun.
Deidara got right up behind Sasori, and Konan took out her camera; the yearbook staff was in short supply at the school, and providing pictures was her civic duty as a student, right? Right? Okay, fine, I'm a perv. A boy-love perv. she thought to herself grumpily, but focused back onto the scene before her. Deidara had grabbed one of Sasori's shoulders, spinning him around quickly. Sasori was surprised, and his pool stick fell to the ground as Deidara's mouth crashed into his own. (Konan, meanwhile was snapping pictures, and the other guys were carrying on with the pool game as if it was normal...because, it was normal...:3..heh heh heh...) Sasori began kissing back, obviously doing what he usually did; force Deidara into submission.
But this time, and Konan smirked as she saw him doing it, Deidara fought back, walking Sasori backwards against the wall, and pinning his arms above his head. Sasori frowned, but didn't stop kissing. Deidara kept dominance of the kiss successfully for about...ten seconds more, and then Sasori had him turned around, against the wall, and moaning into his mouth, one hand pressed up against the wall, the other draped over Sasori's shoulder. Sasori had one hand pressed to the wall next to Deidara's face, the other pinning Deidara's hand above his head. Konan snapped another picture, then a few of Pain and the others playing pool.
Pain caught her eye as she adjusted the lens, and mouthed something to her. She concentrated for a moment, then blushed furiously, realizing he'd just mouthed you're such a perv to her. Great. She stuck her tongue out at him, then remembered that her truth-or-dare partner was sucking face unneccisarily.
"Hey! Deidara! Hello! Play with me, fool!" she said, laughing and waving at him. It took Deidara ten seconds to notice somebody was talking to him, and thirty more for him to wrench himself away from Sasori, who glared over at Konan with a merciless expression that clearly communicated the message that he considered her to be rudely interrupting. Deidara bit Sasori's neck playfully, earning him a lustful look that was quickly replace with regret as he sashayed (okay, not quite that...) over to Konan and relaxed back onto the bar stool, his hair slightly messier and his cheeks and lips slightly redder than they had been before his departure.
"Was that okay, un? I mean, I could always try again..." he said, shooting Konan a teasing smile. She blushed.
"No, no...once is enough. Your turn." she said, sipping her drink, glad the bartender had decided that they were better off without his presence. Deidara assumed The Thinker's pose, then grinned up at her.
"'Kay. Truth or Dare?" Konan bit her straw gently, considering.
"Mm..dare..." she said uncertainly, and Deidara raised his eyebrows, smirking.
"Good. Okay...I dare you to put your hand in Pain's back pocket, and grab his ass." Konan bit her lip; she knew that it was bad, seeing as they were playing the 'good old' You can't tell them at any time that you're on a dare version of the game, but it could be much worse, so she'd take her chances.
"Okay..." she said, sliding reluctantly off her stool. Deidara winked at her, brandishing the camera. "Hey! No way!" Konan protested, jumping for it. Deidara sat on the bar, the large camera waving high above Konan's head. He was grinning wickedly at her.
"It's payback. For all the pervy Bl-fangirl ones you took of me and my man Sasori, un." he said teasingly, and she blushed, scowling and crossing her arms.
"Well...yeah..okay, fine." she said, giving up on finding something more pithy to say. Deidara winked and shooed her away, pointing at Pain. Konan turned and walked towards him. Great. I get to grope him, and am totally forbidden from providing any other explanation than 'I wanted to'. Love-lee. Konan sighed, and grinned in spite of herself; as she looked Pain up and down as he stood, leaning on the billiard table, black jeans fitting him just right, black dress shirt looking sexy with it's first four buttons undone and it's sleeves rolled up, he looked hot. Very hot. Hot, hot, so very hot...Dammit! Konan pressed her hands to her face, feeling the blush spreading across her cheeks.
She sighed and walked closer to Pain, watching as Itachi's stick made contact with the white ball, sending it rolling and crashing into the red one, which sunk into the corner hole. She contemplated leaning next to Pain and waiting a bit before making her move (HAH), but thought better of it: that would just make it so much more awkward. She just walked behind him, paused, and slipped her hand into his back pocket. He twitched slightly, and she seriously couldn't blame him. She paused for a fraction of a second before grabbing his butt and removing her hand, walking stiffly away, blushing furiously, trying to ignore the loud clickings and bright flashes of the camera as Deidara went wild with it.
She had taken two steps, however, when a hand grabbed her butt. She jumped, and turned, to find Pain smirking at her. He winked, then resumed his determined stare at the table. She stood there for a second, before grinning, thinking, definately not for the first time, that she had the ultimate best boyfriend EVER! and sprinting back over to the bar, where Deidara was laughing.
"Bravo. Smashing performance. Total bang, un." he said, and she stuck her tongue out at him.
"Mature." he commented, before she asked him Truth or Dare.
They spent about an hour and a half longer playing Truth or Dare as the pool game continued. The truths ranged from 'if you could have one mutation, what would it be?' to 'Do you think it's rape if you like it?'. The dares covered everything in between 'Take Sasori's belt off with your teeth' and 'Dance on the bar'. At the end of it all, Deidara and Konan had both been mentally and physically exhausted by humiliation and amusement.
"Pool game's over. Pain won, stupid bastard." Hidan announced, coming over and chugging down a bottle of some kind of alchohal.
"Back outside!" Kisame announced, and they left Radley's and began walking towards their next Pain's-Birthday-Will-Be-Awesome location.
"So...where exactly are we going?" Pain asked, the edges of his mouth tilted up in a small smile as they passed yet another candy store (they had already walked past about seven in twenty minutes).
"Hmm...you'll see." Itachi said quietly, and Pain sighed, crossing his arms behind his head.
"I don't suppose we're going to Mesdames and Messieurs, are we?" he asked casually, casting a sideways glance at Konan, who twitched slightly:ANOTHER DEAD-ON GUESS! YAAAGH! Sasori sighed, slinging an arm around Deidara, and turning his head to glare at Pain, half in exasperation, half in amusement.
"You seriously need to stop doing this." Sasori advised, and Pain merely grinned.
"It was just a guess." he said, un peu en retard. Konan rolled her eyes, but smiled as he reached down and linked his fingers through hers, squeezing her hand. She laughed as they crossed the road and the wind suddenly picked up violently, blowing her hair around wildly. She was glad that the bows holding it in ponytails were still intact. The fairground of Mesdames and Messieurs was practically deserted, due to the wind and it being a schoolday (it was mostly a hangout for teens), and there wasn't a wait at the ticket gate.
"Fuck yeah! I fucking love this place!" Hidan said happily, grinning around at the rides.
"Yeah? I've never been here, but I love rollercoasters!" Konan said, looking longingly at the twisting metal form on the other side of the fairground.
"Okay. We should all decide on what to do, together, you know?" Konan suggested, turning around to face her friends, who all basically nodded.
"Fuck, yeah!" Hidan exclaimed as they all agreed to go on the biggest rollercoaster -Happily Never After- and ran towards it. There was a line of eight people, and they got on the train after it.
"Shawty front!" everybody (excluding Itachi, who was too cool, Konan, who had never 'shawtied' something in her life, and Kakuzu, who had a natural distaste of front seats) shouted simultaneously.
"Okay, Pain gets front because it's his birthday." Sasori said finally, and before anybody (except Konan, who was a quick protester) could protest, he had grabbed her wrist and had dragged her over and into the front seat with him. She blushed, realizing that although it was two people per seat, it was pretty squishy- she was kind of mashed against Pain. Not that either of them minded in the least, of course.
"Shawty back!" the others shouted; back was scary in the 'we're gonna die' way. Finally, Deidara and Sasori took the seat behind Konan and Pain, Hidan and Kakuzu claimed the back, leaving Kisame and Itachi to squish into the last remaining compartment on the eight-seater train.
"Going Far Far Away in 5...4...3...2..." the automated voice eminating from the control booth rang out, and Konan felt a nervous jolt in her stomach; she adored roller coasters, but she hadn't been on one in a long, long time. "Hey," Pain said in a low voice in her ear, and she jumped, then looked up at him, her breath catching as she realized that his mouth was hardly an inch away from her forehead.
"Are you gonna scream?" he asked, grinning at her slowly. She bit her lip.
"No..." she said in a small voice. He laughed quietly.
"Okay. I dare you not to scream." he said, and she tugged her hair gently as a loud buzzing filled the air.
"And if I scream?" she asked as the ride began to vibrate. Pain grinned at her, shooting her a full sexy look.
"I'll think of something, and I promise I'll collect sometime." he said in a dangerously attractive voice. Konan couldn't hold back her shiver as the ride suddenly began moving forwards quickly, shooting straight ahead at a speed that left her stomach behind at the station. She held the safety bar in a deathgrip as the ride sped up a steep hill, then whirled a swift right at the top. Konan bit her lip, holding in a scream of half-joy, half-horror; they were facing a huge drop, so steep that there was an underground hole that swallowed up the track at the bottom. No joke; the track went vertically down, straight into a hole, where presumably the rest of the ride continued.
"True...Love's...Kiss..." a rather gothic-looking princess sang out as they shot down, Konan's lip bleeding from trying not to scream. Once underground, princes and princesses popped up around them, singing a rather creepy version of Beauty and the Beast, reminding her of the opening to Elfen Lied. The ride zigged and zagged, and just as Konan had released her teeth from her bleeding and abused bottom lip, the rollercoaster shot out of the underground passage, and zoomed vertically into the air again, then immediately into four loop-the-loops in a row, finally ending up in a steep drop, followed by a sharp turn that sent her crashing against Pain, who laughed. Up and down, the rollercoaster soared, until finally it seemed to flatten out- fifty feet in the air. The screeching of brakes sounded, and the ride stopped, just before a split in the track.
"What do you think, Mesdames and Messieurs?" a voice called over the loudspeaker next to the train.
"Grimm or Anderson?"
"GRIMM!" the others shouted before Konan realized that it was talking about the authors of fairytales.
"Very well..." the voice said, and the train started up again, veering violently to the left. Konan's stomach lurched as she saw that the tracks were heading up -again. At the top, they passed under a figure with broken wings, and then Konan looked down; they were at least four hundred and fifty metres above the ground. She opened her mouth, feeling the necklace Pain had given her rise into the air as she and the train shot down...down...too fast.
"...Thank you for riding Happily Never After. Please exit the station once the ride has come to a complete halt, and find true love's kiss." the automated voice echoed around the station.
Konan was limp.
Pain laughed, and hoisted her out of the seat, wrapping an arm around her and walking her out of the loading area while the others dragged themselves out of the train.
"That was some scream." Pain said, grinning down at Konan, who just nodded dumbly. Ten seconds later, she was revived and begging to go on again.
"Not until we've been on every other ride, silly." Sasori said sweetly, linking his arm through hers and guiding her towards the other rides.
They ended up going on every ride. Even the merry-go-round. Pain, prepared as always, had whipped out the camera, snapping pictures left right and center. Cha-ching, yearbook space here we come! :3 Konan and Pain shared a huge stick of cotton candy and took pictures of each other and the others while they went on ride after ride. Konan got a really cute picture of Itachi and Kisame in the bumper cars, and Pain snapped a hilarious one of Hidan and Kakuzu on the Hellevator, where Hidan was doing that rock-and-roll hand thing (with his middle and fourth fingers down...?) and Kakuzu was yelling in anguish: his spare change had slipped out of his pocket and tumbled down to earth. Konan jumped up as Deidara and Sasori ran over to the Tunnel of Love.
"What're you doing?" Pain called out, stretching out on the bench.
She flashed him a smile and brandished the camera, running to the exit of the ride. She got a perfect position, where she could see the heart-shaped tunnel, centered in the picture, and Deidara and Sasori coming out, making out (typically). It was actually a good picture, and Sasori joked that he wanted it enlarged and stuck to his ceiling. Konan retured to Pain, and ate some cotton candy, holding his hand under the umbrella as it began to rain lightly. And then she saw them. The spinning teacups. She half-moaned, half-gasped.
"Somebody's turned on..." Deidara said suggestively as he passed with Sasori to get a drink. Pain turned to see what she was looking at. And then he laughed.
"Oh, wow. Teacups?" he asked, grinning at her, and she locked eyes with his, his amused and playful, hers full of excitement and need (not that kind, pervs! ;D).
"Wanna go o-"
"YEEEESSS!" Konan practically bellowed, seizing his hand and sprinting over. The ride operater let them on immediately; nobody else was there, and they immediately piled into a purple teacup, with little black and blue flowers around the top. Konan was bouncing happily in her seat as the ride began, and a nice melody began playing. The cup began spinning, and she leaned back and laughed as her hair flew out around her, the ribbons valiently retaining their hold on the pigtails.
Konan always felt happy at amusement parks, because they were places she only went to as a special treat on her birthday sometimes, or when her mother was still legally 'sane'. She looked back up at Pain, and just as she did, he had reached over, placed his arm around her shoulders, pulling her towards him, and kissed her.
She smiled, placed her hands on either side of his face, holding him close as the ride span faster. She was suddenly flung against him from the force of the spinning, and he laughed, wrapping his arms around her. She closed her eyes, smiling and holding his hand, and was glad that he was there. For the first time, she was actually completely aware of being happy that somebody loved her.
At seven O'clock, they left the amusement park, and got on another bus, heading to a place called Dephic, or Delphie, or something (Sasori's instructions were pretty vague), a beach where you could rent out motorbikes, and go riding around. It also had a bar and grill, and a popular dance hall-thing. The bus ride was an hour long. Konan sat next to Pain, mostly asleep and leaning on his chest. Hidan was praying to his god quietly (with a few choice swears worming their way into his testamonts every so often), Itachi and Kisame were discussing something like the best way to die, and Deidara and Sasori were playing Cliff, Shag or Marry. Suddenly Kakuzu's phone rang, catching everyone's attention as Rich Girl began playing. He groped around in his pocket for it.
Nananananananananana...'Cause I got all the money in the world, if I was a wealthy giiiiir-
"Yeah?" Kakuzu snapped it open, and the one-sided conversation the others could hear surrounded the sale of a 'bulk package of SasoDei, and two seperate orders of KisaIta and KakuHida. Konan blinked herself awake and yawned, looking up at Pain.
"What's SasoDei, KisaIta and KakuHida?" she asked, and Pain gave her a small smile.
"Only the school's biggest BL business. Kakuzu's running the whole thing. He doesn't like selling himself so much, but KakuHida's so popular among S+M lovers that he feels he'd lose about a thousand dollars per term if he didn't." Pain explained.
"Oh...so...what's he selling?" Konan asked, too sleepy to try and understand on her own. Pain absent-mindedly tugged on one of her pigtails. "You know...posters, pictures, calendars, magnets, probably home-movies... stuff like that for all their fangirls and boys." he said, and Konan laughed. Then an awful thought occured to her.
"We don't have any fangirls or boys, right?" she asked, and Pain laughed.
"No way. According to Sasori, we're the 'adorable ones who are probably gonna have loads of kids and get married and have a great sex life -privately.'. They're the ones (example A: Deidara, Sasori) who get people wanting their autographs because -gasp- they're gay, and -gasp- they're a really sexy couple, and -gasp- everybody in the school had a crush on Sasori until -gasp- Deidara, the is-he-a-girl-or-a-boy beauty arrives and sweeps him off his feet! Or maybe example B, Kakuzu and Hidan. Oooh, their relationship's all rocky and everything, ooh, Hidan's pmsing, how does Kakuzu deal with it? Ooh, S+M, I love it! Ooh, they had a fight! Hate sex, hate sex! And Kisame and Itachi..." Pain bit back a grin as he thought, "They're the sensitive ones. The ones where it's all Aww...Kisame's somehow gotten close to Itachi, the aloof, solitary beauty! Aww, they're together! Aww they're so perfect, Kisame's just like a big teddy bear! Aww, Itachi's shy about they're relationship! Aww, what's going on now? Aww, they're kissing! Must-take-picture! That kind of thing." Pain explained with a nod, and Konan nodded dumbly.
"Well, I guess it makes Kakuzu happy." she said after a while, and Pain laughed. Konan tucked her head beneath his chin, and fell asleep, missing the rest of the voyage.
When she woke up, her face was buried in Pain's shoulder, and all her blood had rushed to her feet, leaving her dizzy.
"And sleeping beauty wakes up." Itachi said, smiling up at her. She blinked, smiled, and looked around before realizing that Pain was giving her a piggy-back.
"Hey, Pain...you can put me down now, if you want..." she said, and gave her a wicked smile. Konan sighed, wrapping her arms around him: apparently, she wasn't touching the ground anytime soon. They were walking along a forest path, and since Konan had been asleep, she had no idea how they'd gotten there, since there wasn't a forest anywhere near the city.
"Where are we going again?" Konan asked with a yawn.
"I'll tell you, just a sec..." Sasori said from behind her. The next thing she heard were running footsteps and Pain swearing lightly under his breath. Then Sasori had jumped. Grabbing Pain around his shoulders, and holding onto Konan with his knees, Sasori clung to both of them as Pain staggered slightly under the new weight and the force of Sasori's jump, but he recovered quickly enough and kept walking, albeit slower. Konan laughed as Sasori shifted, almost climbing on her to get to her ear.
"We're going to ent-ray otorbikes-may at-hay ellybean-jay ark-pay, and-hay open-hay resents-pay at-hay e-thay ellybean-jay afe-cay, lus-pay et-gay ood-fay and-hay rinks-day. Emember-ray?" Konan, by this time, was laughing into Pain's shoulder; Pig latin was usually something second graders used to make sure nobody could understand their 'secret code'. But Sasori...wow. Just wow. "Emember-ray?" Sasori persisted, slipping slightly, but clinging to Pain and Konan nonetheless.
"Es-yay, I-hay emember-ray. Ut-bay, are-hay e-way oing-gay o-tay ive-gay im-hay is-hay resents-pay efore-bay or-hay after-hay otorbiking-may? And-hay, I-hay ave-hay ever-nay idden-ray a-hay otorbike-may in-hay y-may ife-lay. Ow-hay am-hay I-hay onna-gay-"
"Elax-ray," Sasori interrupted. "Ain-Pay ill-way ake-tay ou-yay on-hay is-hay. Okay-hay?" Konan nodded, and Sasori (to both Pain and Konan's relief) relaxed his grip and slipped off. Deidara handed him the camera, having just taken about eight photos of the three-person piggyback.
"Here it is!" Kisame said, and they all looked up to see that he was right: a bright fluorescent sign proclaiming Jellybean Park in fuscia and purple was just visible through the last few trees before the path widened into a large field, then a large beach. The light rain had stopped, but they could still see their breath as they sped up. Pain took hold of Konan's foot, and used it to kick Sasori lightly in the side.
"You know, I-hay ould-cay understand-hay every-hay ord-way at-thay ou-yay aid-say." he said with a grin, and Sasori scowled. He turned to Deidara, speaking in an undertone.
"Mental note: Pain can understand pig latin." Deidara nodded, and Konan smiled; the reason she'd found it so funny was that she'd learned pig latin from Pain. She'd just 'accidentally-on-purpose' forgotten to warn Sasori. They all entered the Jellybean Park lobby, where a girl stood behind the counter, doodling on a piece of paper that looked suspiciously like a paycheck. She looked up and smiled.
She was wearing fuscia lipstick, thick mascara, a tight pair of fuscia short-shorts over black fishnets, with black boots with spike heels, and a fuscia corset top with a black bow at the top. There was a black tattoo of a rose on her shoulder, standing out against her lightly tanned skin. Her hair was blonde with hot pink streaks, and it fell to her waist.
"Hey you guys! It's my favourite customers!" she said with a big pink smile.
"Hey, Evangeline!" Pain said with a grin. The girl gave him a sultry look, and Konan suddenly felt like kicking her.
"Hey there, Sasori. How's my big boy?" she asked, a flirting lilt in her musical voice. Sasori gave her a wink and a dreamy look, before Deidara ground his heel into Sasori's foot. Sasori slid his arm around the blonde's waist, and kissed his neck.
"Just kidding..." he said affectionately, and Deidara scowled.
"Uh huh...sure..." he said sulkily, but seemed to let it go. After greeting all the guys, Evangeline's bright blue (obviously contacts...) eyes fell upon Konan. Konan thought it was seriously dumb that the girl supposedly noticed her last, because she was getting a piggyback from they guy who held most of her attention.
"Who's this?" she asked, slightly less friendly, but still smiling toxicly. Pain let her down, and Konan set her feet back on the ground, looking at Evangeline, who was obviously annoyed that her favourite bachelor had brought a friend. A girl friend, to be precise. Konan gave her a small smile, but it was the fakest one she'd ever given. Faker than the one she'd given the camera at her father's second marriage. Evangeline was making a similar expression: both girls' mouths were plastered into friendly smiles, but their eyes held the 'if looks could kill' feeling plainly.
"This is Konan, my girlfriend." Pain said awkwardly, and Evangeline's eyes narrowed slightly while Konan smirked...slightly.
"How nice for you." she said, her teeth gritted slightly.
Konan made a point of taking Pain's hand, her eyes never leaving Evangeline's. Suddenly it occured to her that she was being a major biatch. She bit her lip, feeling bad. Until Evangeline got up from her desk, grabbed a set of keys, and told them to follow her, making sure that Pain went first and walking in such a way that made her hips twist with each step. Konan narrowed her eyes; okay, this bitch wanted her boyfriend? She'd have to fight for him. Konan glowered at her back, walking after Pain. Sasori and Deidara exchanged amused looks, before taking out the camera, sharing conspiratorial smiles with the others; this would be fun.
Evangeline showed them to a shed full of motorbikes. Pain immediately rolled out a shiny black one, and handed Konan a helmet. Within fifteen minutes, they were all riding along a load of forest paths with hills and things. Konan was doing just fine, holding Pain's waist in a deathgrip and singing Candy Cave in her mind as they flew along the paths much faster than she'd expected; it seemed nearly as fast as the rollercoaster they'd been on just hours previous. It wasn't until she caught sight of a sign that read 'Jump Zone' ahead that she began to feel a teensy bit nervous.
A lot nervous.
"Ready?" Pain called over the roar of the wind and the engine. Konan shook her head, which was pressed against his back, and he laughed, exhilerated, before accelerating more and sooming towards the first one. Relax, a small voice in Konan's head told her, Pain's done this practically all his life. The chances of us falling are only 4 in 82. That's not bad. the voice told her. She mentally replied that that statistic was completely made up. Well, yeah. Not reassuring. Not reassuring at all. Too soon, however, they were speeding up a steep incline, and then- they were flying through the air.
"Stand up!" Pain shouted, and Konan obeyed, her vice-like grip of Pain incapable of letting her stay down, anyways. They landed, and luckily the suspension of the bike saved their legs from most of the shock. They did a sharp turn, and were soon hurtling up yet another jump.
"Ready?" Pain called, and once again she shook her head. He laughed and they took off, going higher than they had before. About ten jumps later, Konan's legs had turned to water, her arms to jelly, and her stomach to an iron safe containing mollases, she was clenching it so hard. She switched the song in her head to Barbara Manatee as they roared away from the Jump Zone towards what looked like an even more life-threatening area.
Barbara Manateeeeee...you are the one for meee...she hummed as the bike swerved and thundered beheath her. Sent from up abooooove...you are the one I love... Hidan let out a loud shriek of amusement as he roared past them, and Pain asked her playfully if she was ready for a race.
"Sure..." she replied feebly, so glad she wasn't driving. Or maybe she wished she was: if she had her way, they'd be doing at most thirty miles/hour, would not go on any jumps, and would be wearing sumo-suits. For protection. Okay, nevermind. That would be very dumb.
But if you leave, Bill, who will take me to the ball? Who's going to take me to the ball, Bill? I have a new dress and shoes-! And new Manatee lipstick! Who will take me...to the ball? Ahh...Silly Songs with Larry were totally the way to relax during a death-defying ride hurtling at breakneck speed into a swirling vortex of doom.
Finally, it was over. They'd locked up their bikes, and were all comfortably seated around a large fuscia table inside the Jellybean Cafe. Evangeline, coincidentally (not) was their waitress, and had just gone to get everybody milkshakes and pizza.
"Okay, present time!" Kisame announced, and everybody looked at each other.
"Wait..." Sasori said, frowning. Konan looked nervously from Sasori to Pain. Hidan swore loudly, and Itachi face-palmed. Deidara tried to shrink in his seat, and Kakuzu harmlessly examined his nails. Kisame coughed awkardly. Sasori leaned over to Konan.
"Id-day ou-yay emember-ray our-yay resent-pay?" he hissed, and she shook her head.
"Okay...not present time, Kisame!" Sasori announced with a loud laugh. "Ahahaha...remember we're giving Pain his presents when we get back, so he won't have to carry them around! Ahahahaha...remember?" he asked, and everybody nodded in unison.
"Oh yes." they all said, and Pain laughed.
"Okay, sure! So, what are we gonna do?" he asked, and everybody looked at everybody else again.
"Karaoke!" Deidara announced, pointing at the large fuscia (everything is fuscia at Jellybean park...) karaoke machine across the abandoned cafe.
"YEAAAAH!" they all cheered. Deidara's phone rang, the beginning of Wannabe filling the air. All the guys, even Deidara, looked at Konan.
"What?" she asked, and they all realized it wasn't her laughing.
"I swear, it sounds so much like you, even I forget it's my phone, un." Deidara said with a grin, flipping it open. "What?" he asked, turning away to talk while the others crowded around the karaoke machine, which had four microphones and was in front of a purple stage. Just as they'd decided to play after eating, Evangeline returned.
"Order up, boys!" she called, sashaying over to their table and dumping down their milkshakes and pizza.
"Oh, sorry," she said to Konan as she walked back. "We ran out of strawberry." she said with a half-apologetic shrug. Konan said it didn't matter, and Pain offered to share his chocolate with her. Konan accepted and just as she offered to get another straw, Pain said they could just share. Evangeline glowered at them as they shared the chocolate millkshake before asking if anybody minded if she pulled up a chair and hung out with them, seeing as it was a slow day. YES! I HAVE A PROBLEM! Konan wanted to yell, but she didn't: it was Pain's birthday, and this was probably one of his old friends. Old girlfriend, maybe... she frowned slightly, annoyed that nobody had thought to tell her that Pain's ex was here.
She savagely ripped a slice of vegetarian pizza from the box, and bit into it, scowling; it was just typical that she was going to be in a bad mood on Pain's birthday. A morbid thought came into her head; she didn't look or act anything like this blonde girl. Evangeline had a very curvy figure, with a chest that was kind of bursting out of her tight corset-shirt. She also had a small nose and a mouth that easily slid into a wide smile. She didn't have any piercings, and she didn't exactly look the gothic Lolita type; her clothes were probably part of her uniform. Konan could see her wearing tight jeans and a halter top any day. Konan herself, on the other hand, had kind of modest curves.
Her father had (embarassingly, as you can imagine) paid a doctor to come and look at her, claiming that she was 'not developping properly' the last time she'd seen him. The doctor (probably because of the hundred dollar bills her father had given him) informed them that hers was the late-blooming figure that would probably be very attractive when fully developed. So that's what her father told all the guys he wanted her to marry or something; although she's a little under-developed, the doctor has assured me that she will have a perfect figure very soon. Dummy.
The only thing Konan particularly liked about herself were her legs. Probably because they were the only things her father had never criticized as being 'too short' or 'too long' or 'too big' or 'too small'. Her butt was probably the thing that started her father up on their arguments about her physical condition: he often hid it under ruffly skirts and things after her dad had said that he could see it clearly when she was wearing sweatpants. Extra-large sweatpants. Not the way to get self-esteem, Daddy dearest.
Konan sighed and looked out the window; just a few hours here, and she'd never see Evangeline again. Hopefully.
After the pizza and milkshakes were gone, they all surrounded the karaoke machine, which Evangeline turned on and set to 'performance'. It was one of those high-tech ones that nobody else could figure out. Even turning it on was complicated. Deidara had to make a call, so Sasori grabbed Konan and dragged her up onto the stage, handing her a mic.
"LOVE SHACK!" he shouted, and Hidan pressed play. Konan slung off her jacket as Sasori began: "If you see a faded sign at the side of the road that says 15 miles to the-"
"LOve ShACK!" Konan sang, and she heard the click of the camera. "Love shack, yeah..." she sang, grinning. 'I'm heading down the Atlanta highway...lookin' for the love getaway, heading for the love getaway.."
"I got me a car, it's as big as a whale, and we're heading down to the love shack...I got me a Chrysler, it seats about twenty, so hurry up and bring your juke-box money!" Sasori sang, and everybody cheered.
"The love shack is a little old place where we can get together...Love shack, bay-bee!"
"Love shack, baby" Sasori sang seductively.
"Love shack! Baby, Love shack! Love shack! Baby, Love shack!" Konan sang, jumping up and down.
"Love shack, baby that's where it's at...Love shack, baby that's where it's at..." Sasori said, giving Konan a dreamy look. She cheered as the word 'cheer' appeared on the screen in pink. Sasori began the next verse, and by that time, everybody was singing along: "Sign says, 'stay away, fools!' 'Cause love rules...at the lo-o-ove shack..."
"It's set way back in the middle of a field, just a funky old shack, and I gotta bet back..." Konan sang.
When Love Shack ended, Hidan and Kisame got up and sang a very funny version of Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody. After a huge air-guitar scene, Hidan grabbed the mic; "I see a little silhouetto of a man-"
"SCARAMOUCHE SCARAMOUCHE, WILL YOU DO THE FANDANGO?" Kisame sang into his mic.
"Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very frightning me-!" they duetted, and then- "Galileo!" Hidan sang in a very high-pitched voice.
"Galileo." Kisame sang, super low.
"Galileo!"
"Galileo!"
"Galileo figaro-"
"Magnifico-o-o-o-"
"But I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me-"
"HE'S JUST A POOR BOY FROM A POOR FAMILY! SPARE HIM HIS LIFE FROM THIS MONSTROSITY!"
"Easy come, easy go, will you let me go-"
"BISMILLAH! NOOOO WE WILL NOT LET YOU GO-"
"LET HIM GO!"
"BISMILLAH!" etc, etc.
Too funny.
Everybody had sung around seven times. Pain had sung a very emotional 'Cecilia' with Deidara, Sasori, and Itachi, which had brought a tear to Konan's eye...and her ear. Sasori and Deidara had sung Somebody told me -pretty ironicly: Sasori took the chorus: "Well somebody told me that you had a boyfriend that looked like a girlfriend that I had in Feburary of last year.."
"Okay, okay, I'm picking the next one!" Deidara said, selecting a song and pressing play. He got back up stage and smirked at Sasori before starting the song: "Anything you can do, I can do better!"
"HAH!"
"I can do anything better than you."
"No you can't."
"Yes I can."
"No you can't."
"Yes I can't." etc.
Konan went up next, taking Pain with her. She pressed play after selecting a song. Pain began; "I wake up late every morning, manager's calling, I'm still yawning. Get up, wake up, hair and make up, he's waiting for you, don't be stalling. This performance is important, I don't think I can put my all in-"
Konan began the girl's part; "Hold on! I was up last night, I was all kickin' it, and I don't feel right. Gave my number to a bre who wasn't my type, now my phone's on silent, I'm being polite-"
"Private callers get no love from me, now let me be-"
"Oh my gosh, my days are getting longer and there's no turning back, I'm working a nine to five, just to keep my contract, did I say nine? I meant one thirty, I ain't no early birdie, I'm workin' a nine to five-"
"La la la la, la la la la la la..." Evangeline grabbed the mic next and asked Pain to sing with her. Konan told herself she would have no problem with it. But Evangeline chose My Humps. Konan dug her nails into her hands, telling herself not to be so silly. She felt so bitchy, just like one of those bitchy girlfriends from RoComs. The possesive, jealous ones who fly off the handle if their boyfriend talks to another girl. Gaah. But she couldn't help feeling irritated at Evangeline's obvious flirting as she swung her hips and winked during the song.
"What'you gonna do with all that junk, all that junk inside your trunk?"
"I'mma get-get-get you drunk, get you love drunk off my hump!" Very appropriate. An hour later, everybody was exhausted, and Evangeline proposed that they all get drinks. Like, drink drinks. Konan bit her lip: she'd never really had much alchohol, and she had never gotten drunk in her life. Because in her personal opinion, sixteen-year-olds don't need to get date-raped. But luckily...she'd never been on a date except with Pain...and he was unlikely to do that...soo...no harm, right? Except that she was one of two girls among seven guys. However, only one of those guys was straight. Konan stopped her mental argument before she got a headache. Evangeline got them all drinks.
"What's that?" Pain asked, pointing at her yellowy drink. She smiled at him.
"It's called an orgasm." she said seductively.
Konan mentally face-palmed as the others laughed. Biting back a bitchy comment (she'd been biting back a lot since Evangeline had showed up), she sippedher drink. Hmm. Not bad. She could definately taste the alchohol.
"Hey, Konan..." she looked up. Silence fell, embarassingly enough, as she realized that Evangeline was talking to her.
"Mmhmm?" she said, not particularly trusting herself with actual words just yet.
"Do you want to have a drinking game?" she asked, a toxic smile plastering itself to her Barbiedoll face.
"What kind of game?" Konan asked, frowning. Evangeline smirked.
"I'll get out a few more bottles of vodka from the back. We'll get two glasses, and start drinking. Whoever loses -i.e. passes out, throws up, collapses, whatev- first, loses." (Well duh, Einstein, Konan thought snarkily) "The winner gets to kiss any boy of her choice present." Evangeline said, and Konan knew that she knew that she knew...er...that she would pick Pain.
No way are your fuscia lips touching my boyfriend! YOU WHOREY COW!
Konan stood up and grabbed two glasses, slamming them down in front of Evangeline and herself.
"You're on." she said simply. The guys had remained perfectly silent; the aura of evil coming off of Konan was too dangerous to interfere with. Evangeline grabbed the bottles from the back, and as she was gone, Deidara spoke up.
"Er...Konan, are you sure you want to do this? Because...you've never drunk that much before, have you...?" he asked tentatively. Konan shot him a look that shut him up. Evangeline came back and uncorked two bottles, handing one to Konan.
"Okay. Glass number one." she said, and they both poured the alchohol into their glasses. They tipped back at the same time, and slammed their glasses down. The strong vodka was not Konan's idea of a pleasant drink. But disgusting or not, she would not lose! GAAAAAAAAAH!
(Okay, mental shouting will continue throughout the scene, just so you know, and so I don't have to write it :3)
By glass six, Konan was still okay, glaring at Evangeline, who was still smirking. at glass eight, Konan remembered that Vodka was Pain's favourite drink, besides 7up. She seriously was beginning to wonder how he could like it. Glass thirteen was tough, and they were drinking so quickly that Konan got a little dizzy. Evangeline struggled with glass nineteen.
"G-Glass twenty-four..." she said weakly, pouring the vodka into her glass as Konan did. Konan's expression remained as stony as ever, and a small trickle of blood was running down her chin from how hard she was biting her lip between glasses. They tipped back. The ceiling and the floor seemed to switch, but as Konan bit down on her lip, it righted itself. Evangeline was not doing so well. She looked quite ill as they poured out glass twenty-five. They tipped back, and Konan squeezed her eyes shut, then opened them, more blood in her mouth.
"Oh shit...oh god..." Evangeline's muttering brought Konan back to herself.
"I'm gonna puke..." Evangeline said, then rushed, off-balance, to the bathroom.
"Ew." Pain commented as the sounds of retching filled the air moments later. Konan gave a light, girlish giggle. Then tipped back the whole bottle. Wiping her mouth, she tossed it over her shoulder, then jumped as it smashed. The world was spinning, and everyone's face was an interesting shade of pink. "Pain? I wo-o-on..." she said, trying to stay upright. He laughed and leaned forwards.
She kissed him.
He tasted some serious vodka.
Then she collapsed backwards off her chair.
"So, I guess that went well."
"Yeah, more or less."
"When do you think she'll wake up? I mean, I wouldn't blame her if she didn't wake up until tomorrow. That was about three bottles of Vodka."
"Yeah. But at least Evangeline'll leave her alone now. She backs off once you beat her at a drinking contest."
"Konan was so jealous! It was actually really cute..."
"Don't go straight on me, asshole!"
"Just kidding."
Konan squeezed her eyes shut tighter. Like it or not, she was awake. Her stomach felt a little off, and she really needed to pee, but other than that, she was okay. Ish. She was leaning on somebody, and her feet felt like bricks. She explored her senses; she could not see anything, because her eyes would not open. She could hear the others talking and laughing over the sound that buses make. She could feel somebody's arm around her, holding her steady, and she knew she was sitting on a bus seat. So: she was on a bus. With the others. She was possibly drunk. Great.
She made a groaning/moaning sound as she turned herself, burying her face in the side of whoever she was leaning against. 98% chance of it being Pain, especially because the person laughed quietly and wrapped his arms around her. She sighed and took a deep breath, inhaling the smell of motorcycles, soap and rain. Pain rested his chin gently on her head.
"Are you awake?" he asked quietly, and she nodded slowly. "'Kay. We're almost there. Do you want to walk?" he asked, and she shook her head. "Mhmm. Thought not." he said, and she could imagine his smile. He piggybacked her in, and she hardly listened as Tsunade greeted them, as Hidan explained that she'd been overcome with grief, etc, etc. Next thing she realized, Pain had put her down on his bed.
"Present time!" Kisame said, clapping Deidara on the back. Konan opened her eyes and realized that everybody else had their presents out. She shuffled back to her room, yawning and walking into walls and doors that were blurry blobs in her way as she went to find the present she'd decided to give Pain. She found the little parcel under her bed, and shuffled back to Pain's room, sliding back onto his bed, missing him already. She crawled over to him, and he pulled her closer, his arms around her waist as she sat in a ball between his legs. The click of a camera told her that Sasori and Deidara were not oblivious to anything.
"Okay! Spin the bottle, un!" Deidara said, placing an empty 7up bottle on the bed. Konan smiled, because there was no chance of anybody but Pain having been the one to finish the pop. Pain reached forwards and span it. The lid of the bottle pointed to Itachi, who brought out a parcel wrapped in shiny black wrapping paper. Pain thanked him, and opened up four new shirts from his favourite store.
Next the bottle pointed at Sasori, who handed over a little parcel in red paper. Pain opened up an extended DVD of Sleepy Hollow, as well a cute black teddybear holding an axe and a head, which looked like Pain's.
The bottle then stopped at Kakuzu, who gave Pain a Play Pass for the year for Mesdames and Messieurs, and he said that he only got it because it came with a cash-back garantee.
Kisame gave him a special version of Clue, pre-ordered and already edited so that Miss Scarlet was Miss Amega, Colonel Mustard was Colonel Kisame, Mr Plum was Mr Iwa, etc, and the rooms were the Bathroom, the Dining room, Drawing class, Sculpture class, etc. The weapons had also been changed to a piercing gun, paper, a scythe, a large sword, 'the force', a sack of money, bombs, and a puppet. Pain thanked him, promising to play with everybody soon, and then span the bottle again.
Konan crossed her fingers, and luckily it pointed to Deidara, who pushed forwards a large-ish parcel wrapped in paper with dinosaurs on it. Pain opened it to find a clay elephant head.
"Press the button." Deidara said, grinning, and Pain obeyed. As soon as he did, the trunk of the elephant spurted with confetti and made a trumpeting sound.
"It's like the one from OHSHC!" Konan exclaimed, and Deidara winked at her. (OHSHC= Ouran HighSchool Host Club) The bottle then pointed to Hidan, who gave Pain several books; 'Pain: the good and the bad', 'Pain; before and after effects', 'Pain: mental and physical'.
"It's like the story of your life." Kisame joked, and Pain laughed. Konan blinked, realizing suddenly that she was the last one.
"Oh...er...Happy Birthday." she said awkwardly, blushing slightly (curse it all) as she pushed the parcel into his hands. It was wrapped in brown paper and tied with string, the way she knew that he liked. He unwrapped it, to find a fuzzy brown teddy bear with several earrings sitting on top of an all-expense-paid trip to France, along with hotels, restaurants, and a full itenerary.
"It expires in three years, so whenever you want to go, you can." Konan explained, blushing and staring at her toes, which were painted white with red flowers. Pain hugged her and said he'd love to go if she came along, too. She blushed a little more, still staring at her toes, and muttered that she'd gotten another ticket, just in case he said something like that.
Afterwards, they all ate the cake that Konan had made, and she glared at them so they all said how good it was. It wasn't that good, but the icing was amazing. Finally they played Misery-Clue, and after a lot of confusion, it turned out that Itachi (played by Sasori) was the murderer, and that he'd killed 'the victim' (who they'd decided was Shizune) with a sack of money, in the bathroom.
Somehow, no matter how long Konan thought about it, or how imaginative she tried to be, she just couldn't see Itachi, cool, contained, kind Itachi pummeling Shizune over the head with a sack of gold. Especially not in a bathroom. It just wasn't his style.
I'm only going to say this once: I wrote most of this story before finding out the REAL birthdays of the Akatsuki. I'm gonna keep most of them, but Konan's birthday is the same as Yahiko (Pain)'s, the 20th of feburary (NOT THE 13 of October, like in the story), and Sasori's birthday is November 8, instead of before Konan's. I'm gonna try and keep some of the others the same, but still. Any complaints will not be listened to.
****THE STORY: I'm gonna write another, seperate story, kind of a prologue to I Love, about each of the characters, like, one chapter will be about Deidara, another about Sasori, another about Kisame, another about Kakuzu, Hidan, Itachi, etc. Then there'll be the stories about how each of them came into the school, fell in love or whatever, etc. So yeah! I'm really excited about writing it ! No, seriously, I am. :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D (I could do that all day)
Okay so REVIEW PLEASE! 3 3 Next chapter should be up quicker, since there's Valentine's day to use as inspiration :3