Thanks to everybody who favourited/subscribed/reviewed my last chapter! Special thanks to BoOks and MaNgA for their really nice review and suggestions! I am now asking everybody who reads this to take a survey! So, message me with your answer puleeeeease! here it is: Do you think I should write a sequel? Do you think I should write a prequel? If I did, would you read one, or both of them?
Please answer and send me a message!
Oh, and to hanako love, I know that Pain is Nagato. I also know that he's really Yahiko's body, etc, etc. However, this is fanfiction, so I assumed it was okay to make him his own character. Besides, how do you expect me to explain that a highschool student is really a dead body being controlled by a crazy jutsu? They're not even ninja in my story. And just a heads-up to you if you keep reading my story; Both Nagato and Yahiko will appear as their own characters later on. Yeah, I know it's impossible, but oh well. Thanks for your review, anyways.
Okay, so I don't own Naruto. I wish I did. Not him, personally, but AKATSUKI! ahh...then I could die today and still be happy. :3
Comme des Enfants
Konan rolled over and opened her eyes. It was the morning, on Monday, Febuary the 7th. Today, the school would be starting preparing for Valentines day. I.E, the yearbook team would be sending out hoardes of photographers to snap pics of the preparations, various infamous couples, etc. The choir would be practicing their love-themed songs to perform on the day, the dance team would be getting the gym ready for the Valentine's day dance, and almost every class would be preparing decorations and activities.
For example, today, Konan's origami class would spend the whole class (probably the next few classes, too) preparing and folding hundreds of paper flowers to hang with invisible string along the halls, or fold bouquets to arrange on tables, or create hanging cupids. Her drawing class would be in charge of setting up a Valentine's card exchange plan, and handing out surveys about 'cutest couple', 'best costume', and 'most romantic moment of the day'.
Deidara had mentioned that his sculpture class would be making angel statues and huge heart-shaped kissing booths. There were also requirements for the day, like there were every Spirit Day; you had to be wearing red, pink, or white. Any other colours would get you an F for participation, a trip to Tsunade's, and suspension from any activities. Accessorizing was a must: and naturally, it had to be artistic; no paper hearts taped to your shirt, for example.
Also, everybody had to give somebody an anonomous love letter, an anonomous valentine card, and they had to send three members of the choir over to a person of their choice, and get them to serenade the 'lucky' person with an appropriate song. Tsunade had glowered at the school during her speech about Valentines day, making this point very clear; "So I don't want any junk like 'shut up and sleep with me', 'big balls'-" (at which Hidan rolled his eyes) "-and as for the person who sent me 'Stacy's mom'..." she sent the students who were laughing a disdainful look, "don't do it again. We clear?" she barked, and the students had all groaned out 'yeeeees'.
Konan sighed again and rolled out of bed. She went to the bathroom. Oh, drat. The wicked witch of the Wo. is here. Fantastic. Konan sighed and pulled out a tampon from her 'make up' bag (she had two, one was real, and one was...er...not full of make up), and, er...you know... She finished up, washed her hands, fixed her hair as usual, lightly swept on eyeliner, eyeshadow and mascara before getting dressed in her school uniform and grabbing her bag. She wasn't too worried about 'Aunt Flo' or whatever...normally she was lucky and didn't get cramps, or leak, or PMS or anything, so normally she didn't worry.
By third block, she knew that this wasn't a 'normally' day. She felt horrible. Her cramps were so bad that she had to clutch her stomach all class. It was nice that she got sympathetic looks from the girls. The guys were the worst.
"You sick or something?" Kisame asked her during break.
"No shit, Sherlock." she snapped, stalking off. Kisame looked like he'd been slapped. But Konan didn't care. Not today. Certainly not that week.
So, in short, she was PMSing off the chart.
It wasn't until she got back to her room and checked her calandar that she realized that it was the week again. Now, normally, most girls alternate randomly between light periods and heavy periods, that kind of thing. Usually they get theirs regularly. Konan, probably due to all of the genetic enhancements her father had had done to his daughter while she was still developing inside her mom, was a very irregular bleeder, and about once a year, in the month of Feburary, she would have the worst possible period to make up for skipping most of the others. During that week, she would lose about 8% of the total blood in her body in four days. She would have cramps that only four advil would remotely help. And in that one week, she would eat as much icecream and candy as she could get her hands on, and she would be so bitchy that not even the most understanding person could deal with her.
And, joy of joys, the week had come.
So, to say that Konan was not in the mood to decorate for Valentine's day was a humongous understatement.
Pain was walking down the hall to where he normally met Konan before going to lunch when Kisame punched his arm (the force nearly sending him flying into the wall before he got his balance back) and grabbed him, talking to him in a frantic voice.
"Pain, just to warn you, Konan's crazy today. Like, crazy crazy. Not the good kind." he said when Pain raised an eyebrow; Konan could be crazy in many ways. Kisame continued, shaking his head.
"Okay, don't get mad, but she's being the bitchiest person I've ever talked to. Like, and I mean ever. Including Ino. She's waay above Ino's level right now. So this morning, she looked kinda sick, so I asked if she was okay. She says 'no shit!' and walks off. Then in choir, Temari's all sympathetic and stuff (don't know why), but as soon as Sai comes along and says Konan's singing off-key, she practically hurled him off the stage! Well, she really swore at him and pushed him into a stack of chairs. Then she stormed out-" Pain raised his eyebrows, surprised; Konan never skipped class, at least not half-way through, without a good reason. "-and nobody saw her until Deidara, who was walking back to his class, saw her outside the bathroom and said 'hey, what are you doing out here?'. She said -and I quote- 'does it look like I want to tell you, asshole? Get your fucking face out of my space! Go!' Can you believe that? But anyways, Dei wasn't that pissed -he says all girls get like that sometimes, but the problem is that he also said it lasts about a week or so. You know what that means for you, right, Pain?" Kisame asked, looking half-amused, half-annoyed. Pain leaned against the wall, crossing his arms.
"It's gonna be one hell of a Valentine's day this year." he said, before sighing and telling Kisame he'd go find Konan, and loping off down the hall. Kisame watched him go.
"There goes a brave man." he muttered before shaking his head and walking the other way, in a subconscious effort to avoid Konan.
Konan exited the bathroom, giving a curt 'Zip it' to somebody who was trying to ask her a question, before glaring down the hall towards the crowd of people trying to push their way into the lunch room. She was not in the mood for this. She walked briskly down the hall. "MOVE!" she shouted, and the hall went silent. And then noisy again.
She made an irritated noise that sounded quite hysterical; a kind of 'Hhimmmmh!' that was a few octaves higher than reasonable, and shoved somebody out of the way. She dove into the crowd, scattering people left, right and center. After about ten seconds of bodies getting hurled out of the way, a path was formed for her by students who were getting the idea that this was not somebody who would wait even two seconds.
"About time!" she snapped before walking through and stalking off to get a lunch tray. The crowd was silent until somebody whistled. Everybody stared after her. Until Pain cut through the path, following her.
"Hey Pain! What'd you do to your girlfriend? Make out with Ino-bitch?" somebody called after him. He turned slightly, gave the culprit a glare that nearly wet the other boy's pants, then silently continued on his way. He caught up with Konan as she was demanding the person next to her to get out of her way. The frightened little third-year dashed off, and Pain walked up beside her.
"Hey," he said warily. She looked at him, her expression shifting from a scowl that did everything but audibly hiss to a guarded stare. Like, a deer-in-headlights-that-knows-what-headlights-are stare. Pain had seen that expression enough to know that right now Konan didn't exactly trust herself not to snap at him. So he kept his tone casual, watching her from the corner of his eye as he grabbed a sandwich from the rack.
"Hey Konan." he said lightly. He had absorbed enough of what Kisame had said to understand that asking (in any way) how she was was a big no-no right now. She grabbed an apple looking at her feet.
"Hello Pain." she said, and he felt a large stab to his side; ouch. Cold tone, much! He half-winced, half-smiled.
"So...are you excited for Valentine's day?" he asked. Wow. Not his most subtle sleuthing method. She slammed her tray down on the counter, grabbing a carton of milk.
"No." she said shortly before whirling away and stalking off. Pain shook his head, making a sheesh! expression before following her to the table. He smirked slightly as he saw everybody else shift subtly away as Konan sat down. He bravely (so thought everybody watching) sat down next to Konan, and began peeling his orange.
"Do you have to do that so loudly? I mean, seriously, a little consideration for others, Pain. So selfish, I mean honestly. It's Valentine's Day soon, so like, shape up, okay?" she snapped.
Hidan looked over to see Pain snap. Literally. (You know, an anime-snap. You see Tamaki (ouranhighschool host club) do it alot) Konan chugged her milk, bit her sandwich (once), then stood up and stomped back over to the lunch room buffet table. Everybody watched her knock on the kitchen door, speak with the chef, then wait outside, tapping her foot, her arms crossed over her stomach.
"Could you hurry up? It's an emergency." she said, and in the silence of the lunchroom, everybody heard the sigh of the person on the other side of the door. Three boxes were handed to Konan, who grabbed them, said a quick thank-you (that had a hidden finally in it), and strode back over to the table, dumping down the Original, Mint, and Double Nutty Moose Tracks icecreams. She grabbed a huge spoon from Deidara (who sputtered a weak 'I'm still using that...') and dug it into the Original before shoving it into her mouth. Pain watched silently as she devoured the whole tub of Original in about eight minutes. Then she moved on to the Double. Then the Mint. As she stood up and went to throw out the boxes, she ran into Ino.
Most of the school, by this time, was watching in a state of shocked silence for three reasons: Number one, usually Konan didn't eat much at lunch, she was more of a dinner person. Number two, she was never rude to anybody who wasn't rude first, and Number three, they had a feeling that doom would befall them (in the form of Konan) if they did make any noise. Ino crossed her arms, facing Konan, who gave her a disdainful glance.
"What?" Konan asked angrily, and Ino smirked, looking down at the empty icecream boxes.
"I just wanted to warn you. Icecream makes you fat, and guys don't like fat girls. Trust me, I don't think your emo boyfriend will want you sitting on his lap when you weigh the same as a baby whale. So take my advice, okay? Calorie counting is a must if you're a girl." she said, flipping her hair and placing her hand on her hip. Konan raised her eyebrows. Pain almost felt sorry for Ino.
"Well, Ino, how about you trust me?" Konan said too sweetly, and Pain could tell by the way her hand was tensing on the icecream boxes that she was seriously considering throwing them at her.
"Get out of my face. And stay out. Or else you'll find your hair on the floor next to a razor with my initials sharpied onto your face. I've done it before, and I'm already excited to do it again. Oh, and I'm sorry if you got jealous of my icecream. Feeling hungry after all your starvation? Anorexic pig." Konan snorted, tossing her hair in a direct parody of Ino before stalking past and tossing her icecream buckets. Ino stood rooted to the spot, seething, and she was still there when Konan came back. Konan walked past her, but paused and spoke quietly to Ino, giving her a nice glare.
"And my boyfriend isn't emo. It's called sexy. Look it up, because clearly you don't know what it is, even though you try so fu***** hard." she said, giving Ino a critical once-over before stalking back to her table, where she sat down, and all her friends stared at her silently.
Ino had turned red and stomped off to sit back down with Karin, where the two of them spazzed and bitched about Konan the whole rest of the lunchtime.
After dinner, Konan stomped back to her room, told nobody to disturb her or she'd take a pistol-handled butter knife and cut off their balls (yes, she has a pistol-handled butter knife), then slammed the door. The guys, in the meantime, were having a Secret Boy's Meeting. They had these quite often, but this was a Code Red Meeting, and they hadn't had one in years. They all sat in a vague circle in Pain's room, looking very solemn. Even Hidan was at a loss for words. Pain clicked the 'record' button on the tape recorder beside him.
"Secret Boy's Meeting number eighty-seven. Meeting commences Feburary 7th, at seven thirty-two P.M." he said, and looked to Sasori, who cleared his throat.
"The situation: Konan, who we all know and love, has suddenly begun a serious bitch case overnight. All members have previously agreed that she has not been provoked in the last twenty-four hours. Nor has any member been able to think of any reason for this sudden change in behaviour."
"And the big issue?" Pain prompted. Deidara spoke up, as his job in these meetings was mostly providing the blunt opinions and facts.
"If this behaviour continues, said individual, Konan, may leave Pain dateless for the dance. Not only that, but he will probably look like the biggest loser in the school if his girlfriend won't even talk to him on Valentine's day. Plus, we're all kind of scared to ask to use the shower, and none of us want to stink for a week, un." Deidara said.
"Agreed." all the other guys said in an unhappy unison.
"Permission to ask a question to all members present?" Itachi asked quietly.
"Permission granted, Warlock Uchiha." Pain said with a smirk at the dark-haired boy, who shot him a look.
"By your leave, Great Wizard Pain, why can't we just use the communal showers?" he asked, and everybody looked at each other.
"Good question, Warlock Uchiha," Kakuzu said with a grin. "But none of us have used the communal showers since Konan started letting us use hers. Be honest. Do you want to go back to using the other showers? I sure don't." Kisame said, shivering. Pain leant towards the recorder; "Let it be known that the Wise Sage Kisame just shivered in disgust. As did the Doom-Preacher Hidan." Said Doom-Preacher shot Pain a look.
"I suggest we get some information from a member on the inside. A girl. It could be contagious, you never know." Sasori said, with his usual dreamy look in place.
"An admirable idea, Venerable Master Sasori." Pain said with an important nod. Sasori snorted.
"Venerable? That makes me sound old."
"No way, Master Sasori. It's sexy, un." Deidara said, sticking his tongue out.
"Off topic, Princess of Destruction." Kisame pointed out. Deidara eyed him evilly.
"Princess? You suck, un." he sniffed, and Kisame laughed.
"I don't mean to interrupt you girls," Kakuzu said in a bored tone, "But has it occured to anyone else that she could be PMSing?" Nobody spoke. Then Hidan laughed.
"You fucking serious? Jashin, Kakuzu the Terrible, when the hell did you think of that? You didn't say a fucking word!" Kakuzu shrugged, then narrowed his eyes.
"Hidan. It's Kakuzu. No nicknames, please. I'm being serious." he directed his look at Pain. "Um...Great Wizard, or whatever the hell it was...why do we have to do this? I swear to God, it sounds like we're in a Sci-Fi discussion club for nerds."
"Yeah!" Deidara put in. "Like, just saying, but all we need to do is cosplay as elfs and wizards, and we'll be even worse than Konohamaru's gang, un." he said, rolling his eyes, and everybody smirked; Konohamaru and his friends were in third grade, and they were the randomest bunch of kids ever. They were always being cute and playing hide-and-seek around the school, or dressing up as rocks and walls to try and scare people. They'd befriended Naruto, who would play with them sometimes, but still...
Pain sighed and blew out the candle that had sat in the middle of the circle, and flipped the lightswitch.
"Well, okay, fine, it was just funny. So. Back to the point." he directed his gaze at Kakuzu. "You think she could just be PMSing? But she's gotten her...er...thing before, right? It hasn't been nearly this bad, ever." he said, trying to remember a time when Konan had been bitchy like this. Unsuccessful, he shook his head.
"Well, I think we should at least shower. Let's just try to do it at times that she's asleep, out of the room, or in class. I'm sure none of the teachers will bitch at us if we tell them we're skipping for the sake of hygene." he said, and everybody agreed.
"Motion passed." he said, and turned off the recorder.
"Okay, just to leave the meeting on a light note, un.." Deidara said, and everybody looked at him. He grinned, and put his hand down in the middle of the bed.
"Sercret handshake!" he crowed, and everybody sighed/groaned/laughed, but placed their hands on top of his. After a series of high-fives, fist-bumps, spins, jazz hands, hip bumps and chest bumps (with manly grunts), they exited the meeting, leaving each of them to their own thoughts of how to have a shower.
In the meantime, Konan was sitting on her bed, listening to her ipod eating a raspberry popsical. Her father, for once, had apparently finally done something right; he'd sent a letter to Tsunade at the beginning of the year, warning her of such things. The letter had been accompanied by a doctor's note, explaining the details of her 'condition', etc. So she was excused from all classes and provided with as much icecream, popsicles, milk and whatever else she might want, so long as she alerted Tsunade the moment it was over, and that she made the decorations she was supposed to in her room.
So there she was, folding hundreds of pink, red, yellow, purple and white papers into various types of flower. She slammed down the hundred-and-thirty-first one, and sighed; she was bored. And that hardly ever happened when she was folding paper. (A surprise, to other people) She stood up, checked she hadn't leaked or anything, grabbed her Winnie-the-Pooh blanket, wrapped it around her shoulders, shucked on her fuzzy black-bear slippers and shuffled down the empty hall towards the area with twelve computors available for student use. She sighed again as she saw a group of guys surrounding all of them. She asked one to move. He looked at her, said he'd only got on ten minutes before, and went back to shooting aliens. She sighed again.
"Get off that fucking computor! I have fucking Tsunade's permission to use this, okay? If you get in my way, you'll be sorry, you little asshat!" she roared, grabbing the guy's arm and tossing him out of the seat. Mission complete, she sighed again, wrapping the blanket tighter around herself and proceeded to open up her favourite anime-viewing site.
After successfully watching episode 103-109 of Inuyasha, she clicked 110, steeling herself for heartbreak. As soon as Bankotsu came on screen, she burst into tears. Her kind of tears. The 'WAAAAAAaah...WAAAAAAaaaah...' kind. She didn't know everybody else was watching her until she heard somebody ask in a hushed voice 'what the heck is she doing?'.
She turned around, tears sliding down her face, and gave all the spectators a death glare that successfully sent them on their way. Fast. She returned to the computor, sliding the headphones on and hearing Matt Hill, the best voice acter ever, begin one of her favourite lines; "The time has come to settle old scores. Our vengeance will know no bounds, so prepare to die. Or something to that effect."
She burst into tears again, whipping out a bag of Lindor chocolates and stuffing one into her mouth, crying. She rested her head on the keyboard, listening. At episode 123, she held both sides of the computor screen, pressing her nose to it. Every time Bankotsu would punch out Inuyasha, she'd tearfully cheer him on, and then swear at Inuyasha whenever he did any minimal kind of damage. But as soon as Bankotsu began to use his 'new technique', she burst into more violent tears, begging him to stop. And of course, when it backfired and he was reduced to just his torso, she was crying her heart out. Then Inuyasha came.
"You were too greedy, Bankotsu. You were powerful enough on your own, even without the Jewel."
"FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU WITH SOMETHING HARD AND SANDPAPERY! WAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhh..." Konan screamed through her tears.
She pressed pause, cried herself out, then replay. When that was over, she began to watch Elfen Lied, crying herself out during the murder of Lucy's dog. Finally she gave up, returned to her room, and cried herself to sleep.
She woke up to the sound of water running. Scowling, she sat up, running a hand through her messy hair. She got out of bed, murder on her to-do list. She wrenched open the bathroom door (which still didn't have a lock) to find Deidara and Sasori both in the shower, making out and completely naked. Luckily she had erected the shower curtain a few weeks previously, so it wasn't like she was being mooned...but close enough.
"Get-out!" she gritted, her hands in fists, tears streaming down her blush-red cheeks. Deidara was the first to open his eyes and look. When he did, his eyes widened, and he quickly banged Sasori's shoulder, making him look as well. They both stared at her for a few seconds.
"What?" Sasori asked finally. He seemed to be taking the role of the brave one, since Deidara was kind of completely avoiding Konan's flame-throwing glares, as if he was pretending not to be there.
"Get out of my bathroom!" Konan shrieked, grabbing the closest objects -a hairspray bottle and a box of tampons- and flung them at her two naked friends, who quickly began making tracks for the door. By the time they'd quickly grabbed towels and had high-tailed it for the hills, she had hit them successfully with four rolls of T-P, a tube of toothpaste, a toilet plunger, and a bar of soap.
When they'd finally gone, Konan grabbed three advils, four tums, two anti-stress pills, pepto bismol (EXTRA PINK!) and washed them all down with three glasses of water. Then she grabbed the portable DVD player her dad had lent her the year before, popped in Titanic, (grabbing her DVD organizer labelled 'Tearfest', which contained Sense and Sensibility, The Notebook, A Walk To Remember, and Grave of the Fireflies), wrapped herself up in blankets with her thermos of hot chocolate, a huge toblerone, and a box of dibs, snuggling up and getting ready to cry. And PMS at anybody who dared enter her room.
After seven hours of crying, she had had it. Konan went to the bathroom, fixed herself up, splashed cold water on her face, and told her reflection to toughen up: girls deal with this kind of thing all the time. Besides, she thought to herself miserably, if I don't cheer up, I might lose my friends and boyfriend. That would just make my world implode. So she slid an Avril Lavigne cd into her boombox, turned the volume up vaguely high, and skipped all the tracks up until The best damn thing. She cheered herself up by jumping up and down, dancing and singing into her hairbrush.
"I hate it when a guy doesn't understand why a certain time of month I don't wanna hold his hand..."
Ahh, story of her life. Or at least of her week. Soon it switched to Alone.
"Hey man, tell me what were you thinking? What the hell were you saying? Oh, come on now, and think about it..." Ahh Avril. It's nice to let out some angst with you.
So many days passed like this, with Konan leaving her room only to get food, paper, or else glare menacingly at people, that she lost count. One morning was worse than the others, and Konan could tell that it was almost over. But she seriously wished she didn't have to go through the almost: she was PMSing majorly at herself, her stomach hurt so much that she had overdosed on asprin and tylenol and it hadn't done any good, and she could hardly move for the pain. So she stayed in her bed, staring blankly up at the ceiling, and listing reasons she hated the world. Yeah, optimistic. Not.
So, as you can imagine, I'm sure, it was a surprise for her when she found Pain sitting at the end of her bed, his legs crossed, his chin resting on his fist, his elbows on his knees, and his eyes on her. His expression was somewhat wary, but mostly curious. She looked up at him, trying quite hard not to glare at him. She managed an irritated 'smile'.
"What are you doing here?" she asked, fighting, for the sake of how much she loved him, to keep the snarl out of her voice. He looked up at her, surprised.
"Well, it's Valentine's day." he said casually. Konan sighed.
"Oh. Listen, I'm sorry, but I seriously don't-" He interrupted her, a half-crooked smile on his face as he stretched and yawned.
"You didn't let me finish. It's Valentine's day, and even if you try to rip me limb from limb, or you yell at me until you go hoarse, I'd rather spend it with you than anyone else." he said, and Konan was struck speechless by how cute he was being.
"A...Are you high?" she asked in a weak voice, and he laughed before asking what she meant. With some effort (and quite a bit of pain), she propped herself up on her elbows.
"I'm being such a major bitch right now I can't believe you'd even want to talk to me." she said frankly, and he shook his head with a small smile.
"You're so silly. Bitch or not, you're my girlfriend. More importantly than that, I love you. I don't care if you're being a total bitch, you're still the only girl I want to spend my Valentine's day with. So go ahead. Give me your best shot, but I'm not moving." As if to prove his point, he grabbed a pillow from right underneath Konan's head, sparking her angst, leaned back, and stretched out on her bed, relaxing against the pillow.
"You know that's mine." she snapped, aiming a swipe at the recently-jacked pillow.
"Yeah, I know it's yours. I took it." Pain said, his eyes closed, his tone as casual as if he were talking to a rabbit.
"Yeah, well, I want it back, asshole. Gimme." she snarled, her inner mind pleading with herself to stop being so mean, but her bad mood was taking control. Pain cracked open an eye.
"Gimme gimme never gets, don't you know your manners yet, Konan?" Pain asked teasingly, only infuriating her further. Stuffing four vitamins and chugging a few swallows of Pepto Bismol, Konan hoisted herself out from under the layers upon layers of blanket, and faced Pain, glaring at him, her hands on her hips. He looked back at her calmly.
"Give-it-to-me." she gritted angrily, making a wild swipe for the pillow. Pain rolled over, holding it to him.
"Nope." he said cheerfully. She tried again, and again, and again.
"I want it, so gimme-" she was pouting, but getting less and less angry and more and more amused as Pain continued avoiding her attempts to relieve him of his stolen property. Finally, she made one last grab for the pillow, only to be grabbed herself: Pain's arms were suddenly around her, his mouth on hers, his hand fisting her hair, angling the kiss deeper. She let him kiss her, then backed off, gasping for air and staring at him, at a loss for words. He smiled at her vaguely, and placed a fist on her forehead gently.
"You're so silly." he murmured, "I guess you must really like me, if you can forget you're mad just by doing that..." he said, smirking, before she swatted him, coming back to her senses.
"You kissed me!" she gasped, as if it were a completely alien concept.
"Yeah I did. And you liked it." he said, grinning like a cat.
"Did not!" she said, giggling. He smirked.
"Did too!" he teased, poking her cheek. She stuck her tongue out at him.
"Did no-!" she was interrupted by Pain's mouth crashing into hers again.
This time, she kissed back, flinging her arms around him, and almost forgetting how pissed off she was. When they broke away, Konan felt a rather alien coolness in her hair. She raised a hand, looking at Pain curiously, to feel large, damp petals tucked up on her head. She pulled one out, and found that she was looking at a large, perfect, tiger lily blossom. She looked at Pain again, who seemed to be watching her with a mixed expression of curiosity and amusement.
"It's so pretty! Is it for me?" she asked shyly, and he rolled his eyes; "Seriously? You really think I'd go to all the trouble of putting it in your hair only to tell you that it's not for you, it's for Itachi, because I obviously am in love with him, not you." He said sarcastically, and Konan laughed.
"You'd better not let Kisame hear you say that, or I'll be the one giving out flowers...and placing them on your grave..." she said with a wicked grin. Pain punched her arm lightly.
"You serious? I can definately take Kisame. What, you don't think I can?" he challenged. Konan raised her eyebrows as an answer. Pain laughed.
"Oh...oh, I see...you, Konan, are playing a very dangerous game...keeping all this raw manpower bottled up, chained in mere boyfriend form." he said, striking a tragic pose.
"Oh, buttercup..." Konan said sourly, making Pain laugh.
Lunchtime found them in the 'Lovebirds Cafe', a cafe put on by the culinary arts students. Konan had at last been forced out of her room, after being fully convinced that Aunt Flo had been shown the door. She was armed with piles and piles of pills, and she was wearing her 'Valentine's day costume' of a pink tutu skirt, a pink shirt with a red heart on it, white tights and bright red pumps. She had red lipstick on, a bow with heart-shaped arrows in hand, little wings on her back, and heart clips adorning her hair.
Pain had graciously dressed up for the occasion in red converse, a loose pink T-shirt with tears in it and fishnet underneath, and red jeans. To accessorize (since, if you didn't, you couldn't go to the dance), he had strapped a harp to his back. They had just finished spitting a peppermint hot chocolate when Sakura rushed up to Konan and dragged her off to begin her serenading job. Not for the first time that year, Konan regretted ever taking choir. Luckily, it ended up being really fun: Students had all dropped off a folded piece of paper with the name of another student, and a song title.
Little groups of choir students would randomly pick a paper, go to that student, and sing a segment of that song, then say who it was from, or if it was anonomous. Sakura, Sai, and herself went off to serenade Sasuke first. They were all wearing those little mic-headsets, and they went over to his table, where he sat with Suigetsu, Juugo, and Karin (who was probably only there to heavily hint at what she'd like to be doing on Valentine's day).
Konan checked the title of the song. Konan started first, after a nudge from Sakura, and the others followed suite: "If you like Pina coladas...and getting caught in the rain...if you're not into yoga, if you have half a brain...If you like making love at midnight...in the dunes of the cape...I'm the love that you've looked for...write to me and escape..." they sang, and Sasuke raised his eyebrows.
"Who's it from?" he asked drily, sipping his latte. Konan didn't miss how his eyes casually flicked over to Suigetsu.
"It's anonomous, but there's a message..." Sai said, checking the note again. He handed the paper to Konan, who cleared her throat and gave her best 'mysterious secret admirer' impression: "To Sasuke, do you like Pina Coladas? 'Cause I do. Happy Valentine's, etc, etc." she read, and Sasuke smirked.
"Yeah, well, thanks..." he said, and they walked away. Two serenades later, (one to Ino, 3 spoons of suga, and one to Hinata, Check yes Juliet), they returned to Sasuke's table.
"It's for Suigetsu." Konan said before Sasuke assumed he got another one ( she could truthfully say that he'd get at least fifteen by the end of lunch). Suigetsu grinned up at her, his cute, extra-sharp tooth catching her eye.
"Okay." Konan said, and this time Sakura started; "Yes, I like Pina Coladas...and getting caught in the rain. I'm not much into health food...I am into champagne. I've got to meet you by tomorrow noon.." (PS, lyrics are altered) "...and cut through all this red tape. In a bed on the dark side...where we'll plan our escape..."
"The message is..." Sai consulted the paper, "See you later, shark boy. Ps, don't read this out loud. Oh..." Sai said, looking awkward.
"Thanks, baby." Suigetsu said, winking at the group in general.
After a few more serenades, they got an interesting one: it was for Sasori. They went over to where he stood, leaning against the wall, waiting for a table. Deidara was a few places away, asking the waitress something.
"Hey Konan-babe. What's up?" Sasori asked, flashing the groupd his famous bedroom-eyes grin. Konan didn't miss the fact that Sakura blushed- hello...? He's gay? And I thought you liked Sasuke? Ugh...
"'Kay, this says it's from Deidara." Konan said, and Sasori laughed. Deidara caught his eye, winked at him, then continued talking with the waitress.
"Okay, let's go." Sasori said, and the group began; "If you're alone and you need a friend...someone to make you forget your problems...Just come along baby, take my hand...I'll be your lover tonight...Woah woah, this is what I wanna do...woah woah...let's have some fun...Woah woah, what I want just me and you, woah woah...Boom boom boom boom! I want you in my room! Let's spend the night together, from now until forever, Boom boom boom boom..."
"Bravo," Sasori said at the end of the chorus, applauding; "Bravo! I really should tip you guys, but I don't have anything on me right now..." he said, raising his voice slightly at the end. Deidara heard and shot him a look.
Konan feared some kind of innuendo happening on the sidelines, so she and her troupe of singers disappeared quickly. But, as she expected, she soon had to return to serenade Deidara, who had by that time managed to get him and Sasori seats. They walked up, and by that time the singing groups had been shuffled, so she was singing with Kiba and Naruto.
"Ready Deidara?" she asked with a grin. He grinned back and said he was ready and waiting.
"It's funny how a man keeps thinking 'bout the BEEP, got a real big heart, but I'm looking at your BEEP, got real big brains, but I'm looking at your BEEP, Boy there ain't no pain in me lookin' at your BEEP!" Kiba and Naruto did Will.'s part, then Konan took a part from later in the song, as was requested by the 'sender' -Sasori-Duh. "I don't give a *hah*, keep looking at my *hah*, 'Cause it don't mean a thing if you're looking at my *hah* Imma do my thing while you're playing with your BEEP! Ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha!"
"And the message says...Guess what BEEP is...:3" Konan read out, and Deidara snorted, kicking Sasori under the table.
Twenty minutes later, Konan finally got a break and went back to Pain.
"So, how'd it go?" he asked innocently, and she began recounting all her serenading adventures. Soon enough, another choir group came up. Konan looked at them, frowning.
"Am I supposed to go and do it again?" she asked, and they shook their heads.
"Nope, we've got a valentine song for you." Temari said with a wink. Konan blinked, then looked at Pain, who feigned innocence. Temari and the two boys who Konan didn't know, counted in four, then began: "I can't see me lovin' nobody but you, for all my life! When you're with me, baby, the skies will be blue, for all my life!" "Message says..."Happy Valentine's day. I couldn't think of anything romantic or whatever, so let's just pretend you're impressed, okay?" Konan laughed and thanked them, thinking they were going away.
"Oh, not yet..." Temari said, grinning at Pain. Konan froze; it coudn't possibly be the one from her...right? She'd...she'd thrown that paper away...gahhh... She switched her attention back just in time to hear them start the song she'd requested on the paper she'd thought she'd tossed in the recycling. Apparently she hadn't. Pain grinned at her ten seconds, in, recognizing it-
"Wait! Wait.." Konan said, leaping up from the table and whispering something to Temari, who nodded, grinned, then signaled for the others to follow her. They walked away. Konan turned back to find Pain feigning depression.
"Alas! Deprived of a serenade...on Valentine's Day, no less..." he sighed dramatically, and Konan rolled her eyes.
"Oh, you." she said, and he laughed.
"I'm gonna tell you what the song was later, okay?" she asked, and he nodded, as laid back as he always was. All the anonomous Valentines had been given out, and needless to say, Konan and Pain both recieved one from the other. They were just about to open them when they heard a loud chorus of voices echoing from across the 'cafe'. Konan stood on her chair, and saw Hidan and Kakuzu standing on tables, empty bottles in their hands, beginning a loud chorus.
"I've got big balls! I've got big balls! They're such big balls, and they're dirty big balls...And he's got big balls-" They pointed at Pain, "And she's got big balls-" they pointed at Konan, who snorted; that was a flat lie.
"But we've got the biggest balls of them all!" They cheered while everybody applauded and laughed. Suddenly, Jiraiya appeared. Hidan and Kakuzu both simultaneously tossed the paper-covered bottles into the recycling, hopped off the table, and began a conversation about mushrooms.
"And this happens every year?" Konan asked Pain, who nodded.
"They sing it every single year, and they've never gotten caught for smuggling alchohal. They've got a talent." he said, and Konan snorted.
After dinner, the whole school lined up in front of the biggest gym in pairs, waiting to be let into the dance. Once inside, it was pretty clear that this would not be like the Halloween or Christmas dances; the walls were lined with pink and white and red balloons, murals of couples kissing and hugging, and Konan's paper flowers were hung from the ceiling.
It wasn't that the decorations were weird, because every dance was decorated, it was more the music: it was only love songs and the like. Konan joined her friends and the other students in a huge round of 'Hey hey baby, ooh, ahh', before 'Hero' came on, forcing everybody into a slowdance. Konan and Pain slowdanced throughout about twenty-four songs within the space of forty-seven minutes before dance music actually came on. As Church started playing , the dance quickly picked up. Pain and Konan were just dancing to Hey Hey Baby for the second time as Sasori caught Konan around the waist and whisked her away.
"Dance with me, okay?" he said in her ear and she said sure, uncertainly. Just then, Mariah Carey's 'touch my body' started playing, and Sasori grabbed her up into a slowdance position.
"What are you doing?" Konan asked quietly, but he just looked over her shoulder and grinned.
"I'm getting the 'Most Romantic Moment' award. Just wait and see." he said with a smirk at her. Konan blinked. Then she realized that she was wearing heels. And dancing with Sasori, who was only about an inch taller than her when she was wearing socks.
"Grow a bit, would you?" she asked, grinning at him. He laughed.
"No. You shrink a bit, would you?" he countered and she laughed as well.
"What are we waiting for though? The 'Most Romantic Moment' of the day is not likely to be between you and me, no offence." she said, and he smirked.
"Yeah, I know. I'm waiting for Deidara...oh here he is. Now watch. But keep dancing, silly!" he exclaimed when she turned to watch. She sighed, and waited, having a horrible suspicion that Deidara was not gonna be happy with her. She glanced over her shoulder, biting her lip, and saw Pain watching them, his arms crossed, an amused expression on his face.
"Sorry!" she mouthed at him. He grinned, and held up his camera. Just as she scowled at him, Sasori was wrenched out of her arms. She turned, surprised, to see Deidara there, fisting Sasori's shirt, and an expression of complete anger on his face.
"You asshole! It's Valentine's Day! You're supposed to fucking dance with me, un!" Deidara snarled at Sasori, who didn't say anything. Deidara glared at him for a second longer, than released him and walked away. The crowd had now parted to make a circle around Konan (who was standing there, dumbstruck and watching), Pain (who was snapping away with the camera), Sasori (who was following Deidara), and Deidara, who was trying his best to get away. Before he could run into the crowd of teens, however, Sasori had grabbed him around the shoulders and whirled the blonde to face him.
"Get of-" Deidara's protest was interrupted as Sasori kissed him fiercely. Deidara tried to push him off, but Sasori held tightly and didn't budge. Finally, he broke away, looking up at Deidara, desire burning in his now-burgundy eyes. Deidara stared at him, and Konan could tell by his expression that he really wanted more, but also really wanted to get away from him.
"What are you doing?" Deidara asked finally, and Sasori smirked.
"I'm giving you what you deserve, Dei-da-ra..." he said, quoting the song that was playing, and saying his name slowly, in such a sexually attractive way that Konan had to pinch herself to stop herself from succumbing to the BL fangirl urge. She shuffled over to Pain, who handed her the camera and kissed her cheek. She positioned herself, getting ready for the major romantic moment that Sasori had promised was coming. And apparently it was: as soon as Sasori had said Deidara's name like that, he had frozen and blushed.
"I told you not to say it like that...Sasori my man..." Deidara mumbled, blushing still and looking at his feet. Konan almost dropped the camera: she had never heard Deidara sound shy like that. Sasori smirked and tugged on Deidara's long, dark-blonde hair.
"Dei-da-ra...Dei-da-ra...I love you..." he said, still saying his name slowly, elongating each syllable. Deidara blushed more, and before anybody watching knew what was going on, he had grabbed Sasori's shirt again, but instead of shaking him angrily, he pulled him closer.
"I love you, un..." he mumbled, and Sasori, within one second, had whirled Deidara around and bent him back into a romatic kiss, like the V-J day one. Konan caught it all on film, naturally. When at last they broke apart, a sixth-year girl Konan recognized as being the head of the Yearbook awards organization strode over, and gave them both stick-on ribbons andlittle gold medals, and a kiss on the cheek each. Sasori smirked as Deidara looked at the medal.
"Most Romantic Moment." he read out loud. Then he blinked. Then he scowled at Sasori.
"You know, we could've gotten these without you making me mad." he said, frowning. Sasori looked at him.
"Aww, but you're so cute when you're angry, Dei...da...ra..." he said slowly, turning the full force of his bedroom-eyed gaze onto his boyfriend, who blushed again.
"You...you...God I wanna-" The rest of Deidara's sentance was broken off by Konan, who was perhaps intervening for the sake of all the pure-minded readers.
"Congratulations!" she said enthousiastically while Pain high-fived them. Sasori smirked and said that it was inevitable. Deidara was still blushing, and eventually interrupted the conversation by grabbing Sasori's tie and pulling him after him towards the bathrooms. Konan cleared her throat and looked up at Pain, whose arms were around her in a backwards hug.
"Wanna dance?" she asked him, and he nodded.
Sasori and Deidara showed up later, mentioning that Kakuzu and Hidan were both drunk in one of the stalls, and asking where Itachi and Kisame were. The odd thing was, Konan hadn't seen them all day.
"They do this every year," Pain explained when she asked, "every Valentine's Day, they both skip, and they go to somewhere like a hot springs resort, and just...celebrate, I guess." he said, and Konan laughed, imagining Kisame and Itachi in a hot spring, surrounded by old married couples, or vacationing families. Funny image.
Finally it was over, and Konan trudged back into her room, wrapped herself in blankets, and collapsed down onto the bed, looking at the tigerlily that Pain had given her which she'd placed in a vase. At the 'cafe', she'd given him a huge block of chocolate in the shape of a cloud, which he'd gallantly shared with her. She sighed happily and went to sleep, confident that the next day would be completely PMS-free.
She opened her eyes about ten minutes later to feel a pair of arms wrapped around her. She turned her head slightly and saw that it was Pain. "Goodnight..." she murmured, and he repeated her.
And so they wouud sleep through the rest of the night, completely oblivious to the cameras clicking, the boys laughing, and the pillow ambush waiting for them the moment they woke up.
Okay, once again, shorter than my last chapters. I'm also convinced that this one definately wasn't as good as the others. So I Apologize...sorry! I think I was just so...tired when I wrote this. No joke.
Anyways, thanks for reading, please review, and the next chapter might be up either next week or the week after...because it's Christmas break next week for me! YAAAY!