I Love: Angel in April, Monster in May
okay. It's been about a million years since I last updated this story. It's not because I hate this story (I LOVE IT!) and it's not because I'm ignoring my reviewers + subscribers (I LOVE YOU GUYS!). And honestly, I really don't know the reason. It's awful. But, summer's coming, and that means that I'm gonna have a lot of free time (I'll be up until like...three or four or something...:P) so that means that I'm gonna update this a lot! It makes me so...freaked that it's been almost a year since I got the idea to do this story. I remember in September (before school started) when I updated this story about twice a day or something...sigh... I'm going to have to study for my science + math tests a lot soon, before my finals, but after that, I PROMISE I'll update super quick! ...and I'm blabbering on and on...However!...I don't own naruto (sniff) and THANK YOU FOR STAYING WITH THIS STORY!
-SailorNova
~You say that I'm messing with your head, boy. I like messing in your bed, yeah. I'm messing with your head when I'm messing with you in bed.~
Konan woke up next to Pain. She smiled, remembering what had happened last night.
Haha, not what you think!
"Good morning, sunshine." Pain said, and she turned to see that he was awake. His hair was a mess, almost worse than Sasori's perpetual bedhead, but it was cute. Konan grinned at him and patted his head, rolling over to rest her head on his chest. He put his arm around her, and they both relaxed into the each other, just thinking of nothing. Their relationship had become so strong and natural over the past few months that Konan couldn't remember what her life had been like when Pain wasn't her boyfriend.
And somehow 'boyfriend' didn't exactly encompass what Pain was to her. He was her best friend, her 'friend with benifits', and in the strangest ways, her girlfriend and her father. Yes, I know, strange. But Konan had never really been close with a girl before, but she knew what it was like (from watching The Sleepover, Confessions of a Shopaholic, Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants, etc). 'Girlfriends' are the friends who know absolutely everything about you.
And if not, you tell them a hell of a lot more about yourself than you tell anybody else. They know if you've got your period, they know who your crush is, you've told them your most embarassing moments, they know exactly which boy you'd hate to wake up beside, etc. Pain was like that. Although, admittedly, all of Konan's closest friends knew when she got her period (vaguely), her most embarassing moments, and so on, Pain never needed reminding, and he would always know how Konan felt in every situation of the day. And he was kind of like the father she wished she had, because she could depend on him for everything. Even, embarassingly enough, money, when her real father forgot to send her an allowance for three months.
But, Konan mused as she listened to Pain breathe, he would always surprise her, and as well as she knew him, every day was completely different. One day he might kiss her before class, but another he might make her wait the whole day before even hugging her. It was this exact kind of teasing that had led her to wake up next to him that morning.
The day before had been April Fool's.
(Day before)
Konan had not dared to go to sleep, and had placed a dummy in her bed, just in case. It had turned out, she was right in doing so, because at two in the morning, Sasori and Deidara had snuck in with a marshmallow gun, and had yelled and fired fluffly goodness at 'Konan' in the bed. They were having a wonderful time until, of course, the real Konan had appeared behind them and shoved cake in both of their faces. So they left, probably to do wonderfully naughty things to each other with the extra cake...*cough*...
About forty-five minutes later, Hidan came in, armed with whipped cream. Needless to say, he was the one to get creamed in the face. Not too long afterwards, Konan was woken up (she'd dozed off in the bathroom) by the sound of yells from Kisame's room. When Itachi arrived, sopping wet and looking quite vexed, at the door of the bathroom, Konan wordlessly let him into her sanctuary, where he proceeded to explain that Sasori, Deidara, and Pain had arrived in Kisame's room (where Itachi was reading a book) and hosed them down with waterguns.
Seven more attacks occured before dawn. The relative silence of the night was often broken by shouts of surprise, either from their own dorm, or from others throughout the boy's hall. When the sun rose, Konan refilled her mug of espresso coffee (a necessity on April fool's) and left Itachi to get dressed. The weather had warmed up ever so slightly, so Konan no longer wore the wool tights she'd worn since November, and had exchanged them for thigh-high black stockings that looked like tights under her school pinafore. She locked both doors to her room, and surveyed her April Fool's day 'equpment'.
One super-duty Ultra-pressure water pistol (full): check. Six mini water pistols (full): check. One small towell: check. Waterproof camera: check. Extra water bottles: check. Granola bars: check. 300 un-filled water balloons: check. Most of her 'equipment' was for self-defence, of course, but the water pistol was definitely for offence. Because April Fools, like every international holiday in the school, was a 'School Spirit Day'. Tsunade had decided that school dances were getting overdone...not only that, but she kept finding drunk kids around the school asking her to dance with them. So, after punching them all the way to Yemen, she decided that on April Fools, things would be different.
"Because I don't want to have to get poor teachers and troublemakers to have to clean up a load of frosting, jello, dead chickens and who-the-hell-knows-what, this year is going to be strictly water-centered." Tsunade had announced at an assembly the week before, "The rules of the game are: everybody picks up a water pistol and a waterproof camera on the 31st of March. Then the whole of April 1st, classes will be suspended, to protect everyone's art. Instead, we'll be having a full-on water war on the fields outside." Konan had wondered exactly what the fields would look like after they'd been doused with about 300 gallons of water. Probably not very field-esque.
"Every student for themselves, unless you form alliances. When you spray somebody, you have to get a picture of them and yourself! after they're wet. If you just take a picture of you and your friend who got wet, it doesn't count, and staff will be out there to make sure nobody cheats." Sasori winked at Deidara, and whispered that he'd definitely spray his Hated Teacher in the ass.
"The students with the most pictures of wet people will get prizes." Tsunade finished, and all the students cheered, although Ino and Karin definitely looked pretty bummed: neither of them were particularly good at anything that involved competition and action. But Konan noticed that Ino brightened up when she suddenly announced that she'd definitely wear white on April Fool's. Typical.
Konan got dressed very slowly. She dug through her undwear drawer and muttered darkly under her breath as she realized that her sports bras were in the laundry. She put on a somewhat-modest black one instead, just in case...She put one of her mini extra water pistols in the middle of her bra, between...(because you never know...). Then she put on her biggest t-shirt, which happened to be a black My Chemical Romance concert t-shirt (originally belonging to Pain) over a pair of red and black striped short-shorts. She attatched two of the three other mini-water guns to belt loops, and stuffed her main water gun through the loose belt slung around her hips.
She put the granola bars, water balloons, and the water bottles into her small backpack along with the last mini-water gun, and her waterproof camera stayed in her pocket. She zipped up some Aldo not-converse, and re-entered the bathroom, to find Itachi changed and looking bad-ass as usual in a black V-neck t-shirt over dark blue board shorts, decked out with various mini water-pistols and water bottles. As they both warily exited Konan's room, she asked why Itachi didn't have a bigger water gun. He replied that he didn't need one; he was allied with Kisame.
"Yeah, but.." Konan began again, but at that moment Kisame exited his room, and she saw why: he had a water gun on his back the size of a cannon, and the length of a rifle.
"Doesn't that need a lot of water to fill up?" Konan asked once she found the words that had left her at the sight of the monstrous water weapon. Kisame grinned wolfishly at her. "Sure, but once you're hit with this..." he drew one finger across his throat, and Konan laughed in spite of herself. Hidan's door slammed open, and he stood in the hall holding a pressurized water hose.
"You've gotta plug that in to a hose outlet, man." Kisame said, and Hidan smirked, obviously proud of his ingenuity.
"That's the beauty of this mothafucker." he said, patting the pressure maching that was hanging on his shoulder by a long strap, "There's a load of sprinklers out in those fields. All I gotta do is snap one, attatch this baby, and give everybody a face full of fuck!" he said proudly. Konan snorted, Hidan's phrasing making her think of the VGcats: Face full of Alien wing-wong comic. If you don't know it, it's...exactly what it's called. Nasty.
Konan walked into Pain's room, and was surprised: although he wasn't in the hall, his bed was empty. She stepped forwards, and a hand slipped over her mouth as another arm grabbed her around the waist and pulled her against a warm body. Although she was, frankly, terrified, she didn't move. Two seconds later, she knew it was definitely Pain because he laughed quietly and kissed the top of her head, not letting go.
"Whm uhmn mhuhm mmfnn?" she asked against his hand. He laughed again and turned her around, letting go.
"Were you scared?" he asked, grinning down at her. Konan, feeling short as she always did around him, frowned and crossed her arms. "Absolutely not!" she said seriously, but he could easily tell that she was lying. Partly because halfway through 'not' she smiled. "Dare I ask if you want an alliance with a useless teammate?" she asked, hooking her thumbs into his beltloops, like he often did to her. Except she blushed and didn't meet his eyes.
As a rule, Pain generally didn't do that. He laughed quietly again, and patted her mock-condescendingly on her head. "Of course I would." he said, an easy smile on his face, and he hugged her to him.
"You're supposed to kiss her, stupid." Pain and Konan looked around to find Deidara and Sasori watching them, looking baskically like the Kings of Total Cool. Sasori's hands were in his pockets, his hair was sexy as usual, and his dreamy eyes were settled tauntingly above his confident smirk. Deidara was almost his opposite, looking fiery and headstrong, one hand on his hip as he leaned against Sasori, his head tilted slightly to one side. Konan grinned and detangled herself from Pain momentarily, stepping towards her two best friends.
"You want him to kiss me like this?" she asked, taking Deidara and Sasori by the shoulders and turning them, pushing them together so their mouths met. Of course, being the hormone-charged, nympho couple that they were, they didn't need any more encouragement to make out and leave Konan and Pain alone. Pain laughed lightly and took Konan by the hand, leading her out of the dormitory.
Ten minutes later found Konan sitting in Pain's lap in one of the armchairs by the Boy's hall, with Kisame, Itachi, Kakuzu and Hidan gathered around them. Not ten feet away, Sasuke and Suigetsu were standing, talking, Suigetsu already digging into some yogurt. Karin (apparently the staff weren't patrolling to make sure no girls got into the boys' dorm) walked up to them, and asked for an alliance. Near the back of the hall, Naruto was forming a battle-plan with his team. Sakura (who also seemed to have snuck in) punched him when he suggested that she be the distraction.
The whole hall was buzzing with plans, and everywhere Konan looked she could see water guns poking out of pockets and water bottles in hands. Ino strode over to talk to Karin, and Konan poked Pain, who looked where she did and snickered. Not to make fun of Ino, of course, but the two full water balloons sitting in her bra added a lot to her already proud chest. To be quite honest, she looked like a Barbie. In a bad way.
The entire group watched Ino, almost transfixed, as she talked animatedly with Karin, the balloons in her chest jiggling around merrily. Karin and Ino started walking over to Sakura, but on the way, Rock Lee (all geared up to an extreme, of course) accidentally crossed paths with Ino. As he turned to get out of her way, his huge water gun banged against her chest, instantly popping one of her 'extra boobs'.
The entire hall burst into laughter, not to be mean, but simply because anybody would look absolutely ridiculous with one huge balloon-boob, and one normal one. Plus, the water had (earlier than expected) soaked through her white tank top, showing her bright red bra -one one side. Ino yelled at Rock Lee for a bit, then popped the other water balloon from inside her shirt on his head before taking a picture of the poor guy, soaked. Konan was just wondering if that was against the rules or not when the bell rang.
"So, we go to the fields, right?" Kisame asked, and Kakuzu nodded, leading the way. He was, surprisingly, looking forward to the day's activities: he'd made some kind of betting poll or something, whereby if he won one of the final prizes, all the bets placed on other people would basically go into his pockets, and he'd sell the prize for some money. In Kakuzu's world, so long as cold hard cash was aplenty, life was bliss.
Ten minutes later, the entire student body was standing in a mass on the playing fields at the back of the acadamy. Tsunade herself was standing on a little stage so the students could all see her. She spoke into a megaphone, explaining the rules. "...boundaries are the school. NO WATER IS TO GET ANYWHERE NEAR MY SCHOOL! Got it?" she asked menacingly, and everybody nodded and gave her a loud 'Yes, ma'am...', accompanied by a few muttered swears, etc. It's not like all the students at a school for kids who basically are too sadistic/crazy/dangerous/fucked up obey rules without a little resentment.
Tsunade fixed them all with her signature stern look, then continued; "You're not allowed to spray the same person twice in a row! If you are sprayed 15 times -and trust me, we will know, you are out! You can return to the game after lunch. The Water War ends at 3:00! Any and all water fights on these fields after that will result in all participating parties cleaning all the bathrooms in the school, with supervision! No exploding toilets, like last time!" at those words, she found Deidara's face in the crowd and gave him a glare. He winked back at her, and grinned at Konan, who had laughed next to him.
"After 3:00, you can all go back to your dorms and shower or dry off. If anybody's still dripping at 4:00, it's two laps! If anybody remembers the mildew catastrophe last summer..." she sighed, looking into the middle distance as a number of the sixth and seventh years groaned, nodding.
"..Anyways," Tsunade continued briskly, "There will be a lunch break at 12:30, but it's going to be out here. No spraying during lunchtime, please. Nobody wants to step in sandwich soup, trust me. At 4:00, everybody can deposit their photos in boxes by the Photography room, labelled with your full name and your year. Any unlabelled packages will not be counted." Tsunade took a deep breath and smiled.
"Everybody will meet in the gym at 6:00 to announce the winners. If you're not there and you win, the next runner-up gets your prize. Then after that, at 7:30, meet back in the gym for some more April Fool's fun." she finished, and the student body cheered, wolf-whistled, and jeered. And Jiraiya sprayed her in the face with his water gun. After recieving some serious violence courtesy of Tsunade, he hobbled away to his station. All the staff members, decked out in water-proof ponchos, with umbrellas and gumboots, were poisitioned around the field to supervise the event. Kakazhi raised a large airhorn above his head, and as the loud sound echoed around the fields, all the students scattered.
In the first five minutes, almost forty kids were soaked. Konan was allied with Pain, Kakuzu, Kisame, Deidara, Hidan, Itachi, and Sasori, naturally. After observing for a short amount of time, Konan was able to pick up quite a few alliances. Ino, Shikamaru and Chouji (a rolly-polly fourth year) were allied because they relied on each other's strengths. Ino would not spray Karin, but Shikamaru would, so she got wet anyways. Karin and Suigetsu were supposedly allies, but it was hard to tell: they'd spray each other when it got boring, but if somebody else tried to get one of them wet, the other would hose them down.
Naruto and Sakura were allied, Gaara and his siblings were allied, and so on. But the alliance made up of Konan and her friends was by far the biggest alliance. Sasori (the best strategist) had explained a plan to them, where they were arranged in a kind of star-shaped pattern. Hidan was close to the middle (he had effectively ruined a sprinkler to install his pressurized hose-of-doom), Deidara and Sasori covered each other's backs on one side, Itachi stayed close to Kisame to provide his huge water cannon with water, an also to spray anybody who came up behind them.
Kakuzu stayed in the middle, and would often spray Hidan while getting an 'enemy', not that he cared at all. Hidan would swear at him all the time, which generally made the event funnier, despite sacrificing anyone's attempts at light conversation. Pain and Konan stood sort of at the middle of things, and at the back to cover the rear of the group.
Honestly, their bad-ass arrangement combined with Hidan and Kisame's 'water guns of peril' sort of scared off the opposition. So for the first hour or so they just sprayed each other for fun, and took random pictures. But as soon as most of the kids were out, the game was narrowed down to the best players. Sasuke's alliance of Juugo, Suigetsu, and Karin was still in, having destroyed almost all the kids who were sitting on the sidelines.
Naruto's alliance had grown to include himself, Sakura, Hinata, Neji, Gaara, Shikamaru, Ino (her shirt completely see-through) Temari, Rock Lee, and Kiba. Konan grinned as Tsunade (hiding in a waterproof gazeebo) flicked a button on a large stereo that was hooked up to huge amps, and Another One Bites The Dust started playing, its beat pounding out of the speakers. Everything was still for a moment, as the three large alliances watched each other warily. Then suddenly, it began.
Naruto immediately went for Sasuke. Gaara and Temari moved towards Deidara, who stepped forwards, grinning, with Sasori behind him. Neji and Rock Lee teamed up and went in at Kisame. Shikamaru and Ino moved in towards Hidan and Kakuzu. Hinata and Neji suddenly flew into action, like a bad-ass action pair, sttacking Suigetsu, who easily held them off, looking like he was in his element.
Naruto and Sasuke's fight was quickly over, after Sasuke had taken a few pictures of Naruto. Naruto then headed directly for Pain, avoiding the fighting pairs surrounding him. Konan stepped back, taking her watergun out of her belt. Naruto went straight in ( a kind of...stupid, but bold technique), and Pain easily dodged the spray of water that headed for him...and it hit Konan instead.
"Jackpot!" Naruto cheered as Konan laughed and wiped her eyes. Pain looked around in surprise, and had to bite back laughter as Naruto made an epic face as he snapped a picture with Konan. Naruto put his camera away,and looked at Pain, who immediately doused him with water.
"Damnit!" Naruto yelled as he shook water out of his hair. Pain locked eyes with Konan, who grinned at him as he took a picture with the water-logged Naruto.
"See ya." Naruto said, rushing off to have another go at Sasuke. Konan walked up to Pain and crossed her arms, smiling up at him. He ruffled her wet hair.
"Sorry you got wet." he said, not quite seriously. Konan raised her eyebrows, and linked her fingers with his with their unoccupied hands.
"You should be. Bad boy." she teased, not even having to look before spraying Ino, who had tried to get an easy shot. "Picture time, Ino my dear." Konan said airily, walking towards the soaking blonde girl.
"You're a bitch." Ino said half-heartedly as she smiled for the picture. Konan pushed her lightly.
"And you're a slapper (slut, etc)." she retorted, just as lightly before returning to Pain. She leaned against him as they watched Sasori and Deidara get Temari and Gaara out. Gradually, most of Naruto's team were sprayed 15 times, and they all trooped over to the sidelines, where everyone else was sitting in a water-soaked mass. Soon only Sasuke, Suigetsu, Naruto, Karin, Neji, and Konan's team remained, whereupon Tsunade announced that it was 'sudden death mode'.
No pictures would be taken, you just had to hit everybody 15 times before going to lunch. Kakuzu and Hidan immediately began power-spraying at Karin, who had to leap back quickly to avoid being hit. Itachi, Kisame, and Pain began firing at Neji, who despite some serious skill, was beaten shortly afterward. However, he did hit Kisame 11 times, and Itachi 7 times. Pain hadn't been hit a single time the whole game. Konan teamed up with Sasori and Deidara, and together they started on Suigetsu. Karin immediately warned him about the attack, and he turned with a sharp-toothed grin to face them.
A few seconds later, Pain got Karin in the stomach, making her out (she'd been hit 14 times during the rest of the game), and Hidan got out shortly after that, by Kakuzu of all people. Naturally, a lot of coarse language followed that development in the game. Konan turned around, laughing, only to be hit in the chest by Suigetsu, who was then hosed down and gotten out by Kisame. Sasuke and Naruto, locked in some kind of water-based epic battle, were eventually beaten by everyone else, who sprayed at them when they weren't looking. Both boys went off, but not before Sasuke hit Itachi for the 15th time, taking him down with him. Deidara turned to look at his next opponent, and saw...Kisame. "So...we just hit each other, un?" he asked with a grin. Instead of answering, Hidan hosed him down.
Sasori retalliated, and soon it was a huge catastrophe. Sasori, Deidara and Konan combined to take out Kakuzu and Kisame, Pain got Sasori out, and Konan and Deidara battled for ever until Pain ended it by spraying Deidara in the back of the head. It was just two left. In the melee amongst themselves, Pain and Konan had equally been hit fourteen times.
"End it like a duel!" Tsunade called enthousiastically from the side, and it was echoed amongst the rest of the school. Konan was, in fact, not feeling like having a duel. She really wanted to go back to her room, dry off, and maybe watch a little K-ON! But no. She either had to get sprayed in the face, or spray Pain in the face. And then it would be lunchtime, thank God!
"Ready?' Pain asked as they stood back-to-back.
"You know what, I think I grew," he commented randomly.
"Why?" Konan asked in surprise. He laughed.
"Your ass is wet. I can feel it on the backs of my thighs."
"?"
Konan seriously felt like laughing. Or just turning around and spraying him in the face.
"Ten steps!" Tsunade called out, and they both walked away from each other for ten equal paces, before spinning around and spraying. Konan had, as soon as she'd turned, ducked down to the ground. Pain's spray of water flew above her head, and she got him right in the face from below.
"The winner! Konan Amega, fifth year!" Tsunade's voice rang out over the loudspeaker. But, of course, nobody cared; they had all raced towards the sandwich tables as soon as they were uncovered.
Konan stood up and walked over to Pain, suddenly very tired. "Hey," she said, and kind of fell into him. He hugged her with a grin and took out his camera. "Smile," he said quietly, and she did. Suddenly two heavy wet forms slammed into their backs, and Sasori and Deidara were there, taking pictures. It was a while before any of them got to the sandwich table, but by the time that Konan, Pain, Kisame, Kakuzu, Sasori and Deidara did get there, they found that Hidan and Itachi had saved them some sandwiches. Of course, their lunch conversation was mostly dominated by Hidan swearing and threatening Kakuzu for getting him out.
After lunch, which lasted only as long as the sandwiches and conversation did (half an hour), all the students returned to the field for round two. This time, the staff also participated, which resulted in narrowing down the number of students participating pretty quickly. There waere a lot more attempts to hit Konan this time around, since she won the last round.
Sasori, Deidara, Pain, Hidan and Kakuzu all teamed up to take down Kakashi while Kisame, Konan and Itachi soaked Suigetsu. At the end, it was Pain (again...epicness wins!), Deidara, Sasuke, Konan and Jiraiya. Deidara and Sasuke took each other out with a ricochetting stream of water, and Konan was soaked by Jiraiya after spraying him four times. Because the rules were that no staff member could win, Pain technically won, even though Jiraiya beat him after a long duel of water.
By the end of the second Water War, everyone (including Tsunade, who had been wearing a 'waterproof' jumpsuit) was completely soaked and tired. They all retreated to their respective dorms to shower, and Konan had never been so happy to have her own personal bathroom. Well, lately it hadn't exactly been personal- although she got to shower first, Pain, Hidan, Itachi, Kisame, Kakuzu, Deidara and Sasori were not far behind. The sun had (miraculously) come out during the day, and it was warmer than usual, so Konan wore a loose black playsuit under a lavender hoodie with a black teddy bear on the front.
She put her hair into two loose pigtails (for it to dry better), and gingerly placed her custom paper flower in her hair. She wasn't sure if it would get wet or not, but...it was a hair habit. She tugged on dry socks, and put her feet into comfy black teddy slippers (it wasn't worth wearing proper shoes, since she'd be back in her room in another two hours or so...). She opened the door, walked across the hall, and knocked on Pain's door. He opened it, and they sat together on his bed, just talking.
"So, if you could have any super powers, what would they be?" Konan asked, looking up at Pain's ceiling, where there were posters of Billy Idol and Green Day. Pain thought about that for a few moments, before answering, taking their intertwined hands and brushing his lips against Konan's as he spoke.
"Well, I suppose reading minds would be okay, but only if you could shut it off. Imagine all those perverse, private thoughts you'd have to hear if you couldn't!" he said, and Konan nodded, thinking of Edward Cullen...yech. (No offence~) "And then bringing back the dead would be okay, but only if you really needed to. Because sometimes it's better for people to die than to live...do you know what I mean?" he asked, and Konan nodded again. Pain's voice was relaxing, like a lullaby. Konan reddened, remembering the time she'd asked him to tell her about his childhood, and she'd fallen asleep. But, to be fair, it was four in the morning.
"After that, I guess that being able to control gravity would be fun. You know, you could make things fly..." Pain grinned at this, imagining just moving his hand, and Konan would float across the room.
"I guess it would also be cool to summon stuff. Like, just say something, and there'd be a live concert in my bedroom." Konan laughed, just imagining herself opening Pain's door to find rockstars and pounding music...and a huge audience squeezed into his eight feet-by-ten feet bedroom. The door swung open, and Deidara jumped up onto the bed, landing over Konan and Pain, but not quite on them.
"Time to go, you guys! We might have won something, un!" he said happily, before springing up to go find Sasori. Pain rolled off the bed to his feet, and offered Konan a hand, pulling her up with him.
"Do you want to carry me?" she asked with a yawn as they started walking together to the gym.
"Not really." he said cheerily, and she rolled her eyes. Not like she hadn't seen that coming, but it was worht a try. When they got there, the bleachers were almost full, but Itachi had saved them a space next to him.
"Hey. Has anything been announced?" Konan asked him, and he shook his head. "Not yet. They're waiting for everybody to get here." he replied. Konan nodded, then looked at his long hair. It was dry. "Hey," she said, narrowing her eyes. "Did you use my hairdryer?" she asked. Itachi grinned at her. "Maybe." was all he said. Konan laughed and shook her head.
"It's funny. I should just give it to you. I never use it, anyways. I guess I like having wet hair," she mused, and Itachi and Pain chuckled. A few minutes later, after the last straggler or two had entered the gym and found somewhere to sit, Tsunade raised her megaphone to her lips.
"Okay, everybody! Today's Water war was a total success!" The school cheered.
"While you guys were drying off and having fun, we the staff had to develop and sort through pictures. So consider yourselves lucky that you're not teachers here!" she said with a kind of tone that made Konan wonder if she was annoyed or not.
"I have to say, that after sorting through so many pictures, some of you guys are really unphotogenic when you're soaked!" There was uncertain laughter from the students, but Tsunade just grinned.
"Joking you guys. You're all beautiful. Anyways, moving on, time for the winners and the prizes! We decided to do one winner from each grade. Now,for the two fifth years who were the last ones standing in both rounds today-" she looked at Konan and Pain. Konan vaguely tried to hide, because Tsunade could be a little intimidating.
"Remember that just because you guys won the war, it doesn't mean that you hit the most people. So be prepared to not recieve a prize." Pain grinned at Konan who told him that she'd have hated to get a prize, anyways; it meant having to walk up there in front of the whole school in her teddybear slippers.
"So, from the first years, the person who soaked more than 42 people...congratulations to...Amu!" A tiny little girl who didn't look like she could hurt a fly, let alone spray more than 42 people, trotted up to get her prize, which turned out to be a box full of different wigs. A second year named Jeremiah, who had sprayed 55 people got food dye of every imaginable colour.
The third year who had soaked 61 kids won never-popping bubble gum (a lifetime supply). Suigetsu won for the fourth years, having sprayed 79 people, and he went up to collect his prize of a bath set that turns the user bright pink. The winner for the fifth year category was, surprisingly enough, Hidan. He cheered, called everybody something rude, made a couple vulgar hand movements, and strode up to get his prize of...a large red button on a black box.
"What the hell does this do?" he asked Tsunade, who slipped on a pair of earmuffs as an answer. Hidan pressed it. The explosively loud sound of an ambulance wailed throughout the gym. Everybody slapped their hands over their ears as the little black box began emitting sounds of piercing screams, gunfire, and finally...Flash! Flash, I love you! But we only have fourteen hours to save the earth... Hidan took his finger off the box, shocked.
"Fuck this is awesome!" he said finally, and went back up to sit next to Kakuzu. Konan felt rather like she'd just had her ears raped. One look at Pain's face told her he felt the same. Liz, a girl in sixth year, shakily (the sound seemed to have terrified her) went down the steps to get her present of two silver guns, which when fired, made a large bang before playing Click Click Boom. She had won the prize for the sixth and seventh year category, which was combined because there were only four seventh-years.
"Okay, everybody! Dinner's in the lunch hall as usual, then back here later for more fun!" Tsunade spoke into the megaphone, slipping her earmuffs off. Deidara caught up to Konan as she walked through the crowd of students, and slung his arm around her shoulders. "Hey, you." she said, and he laughed.
"Hey. I already know what they're doing in here after dinner. It's completely generic, un." he said dismissively.
"What do you mean, 'generic'? Don't tell me there are clowns?" Konan asked in mock-horror, but Deidara nodded seriously.
"Nooo!" she cried dramatically. "Oh, the humanity!" Pain joined in, and Deidara laughed.
"So, my man Sasori and I were thinking that maybe we could all just stay in the dorm and do something...that doesn't involve clowns, un." he said, and Konan and Pain said 'Yes!' emphatically at the same time. They explained the plan to the others during dinner.
After dinner, as they turned the corner for the Boy's hall, Pain told Konan to stop a second, then he bent down in front of her. "Don't tell me..." she said, and he laughed, nodding. With a sigh and a smile, Konan jumped up and looped her legs around his waist, gripping his shoulders. "A little belated, but a piggyback is a piggyback." she said, and Deidara laughed, opening the door for them.
Pain put Konan down on her bed, and sat down next to her. The whole group had assembled in her room, because it was 'the living room'. Konan secretly wondered if they all considered their rooms to be 'dead rooms' or something.
"So, what are we going to do? It had better not be ass-fucking boring." Hidan said, stretching.
"You liar. You don't think ass-fucking is bor-" Hidan hit Kakuzu in the face with a handily-placed pillow mid-sentace, and Konan grinned. Sasori yawned like a kitten, and then smiled at Deidara.
"Well, we could play honey I love you, and some Truth or Dare...and we could always drink some vodka... You've got a supply under your bed, right, Pain?" he asked, and Pain nodded with a grin.
"So, are we gonna play?" Konan asked. "Come on, Konan, babe!" Hidan protested, shaking his head at her reproachfully. "Badasses like us don't play stuff. We do stuff."
"That's what he sai-" Once again, Kakuzu was shut up. They decided to play Honey I love you first. But not the 'sissy, virgin kind' as Hidan put it. The proper one. Konan started first, having been the scapegoat of democracy (the boys all voted for her to start first), and she stood in the middle of the circle.
"Oh, yeah, you're not allowed to go to your boyfriend." Deidara said with a grin just as Konan stepped towards Pain. With a sigh, Konan turned around and sat down in front of Sasori.
"Honey, I love you. Won't you give me a kiss?" she asked, blushing as she leaned close, pretending to try and kiss him. Sasori didn't say anything, he just closed the distance and kissed her. Konan pulled away in total shock.
"What? That's not how you play!" she said in indignation. Deidara, too, was glaring at Sasori. Pain just looked nonplussed. Sasori laughed. "Well, when a hot chick asks to kiss you, do you say no?" he said innocently.
"YES!" Konan and Deidara exclaimed together, and Sasori laughed again.
"Kidding, kidding. Do you want to play Truth or Dare instead?" he asked.
"YES!" Konan and Deidara exclaimed together again. Konan shuffled away, rubbing at her mouth and blushing, back to Pain. Deidara continued to shoot dark looks at Sasori, who clearly could not see how the situation wasn't funny. Deidara went first as Pain went to fetch some bottles of vodka.
"Sasori, truth or dare, un?" he asked, and Sasori chose truth. Probably because he knew that a dare from an angry Deidara was bound to end in his own pain. "Is Konan a better kisser than me?" Deidara asked, and both Sasori and Konan snorted.
"Um..." Sasori looked behind Deidara to Konan, who raised her eyebrows at him. "Well, since she didn't kiss me back, I'm not sure. But...no matter what, nobody will ever be a better kisser than you." Sasori said, meeting Deidara's fierce blue eyes with his own dreamy ones. There was a beat of silence, then Deidara visibly relaxed.
"Okay, un." he said, and leaned back against the wall. Sasori went next.
"Kakuzu, truth or dare?" he asked, and Kakuzu's eyes narrowed.
"Dare." Sasori smirked.
"Tear a ten dollar bill in half." Kakuzu's eyes widened in horror...and then he slowly took out his wallet, which was bursting with cash. Very, very slowly, he leafed through until he found ten dollars. Then, suspensefully...he tore it straight through the middle. There was a pause, and then they all applauded. Pain, who had just come back with four bottles of vodka, almost dropped them in surprise at what he saw; Kakuzu ripping money. When the applause was done, Kakuzu tore a piece off of Konan's tape and repaired the bill quickly before stuffing it back in his wallet.
"Kisame, truth or dare?" he asked, and Kisame said truth.
"Would you rather go out with Ino for a year, or marry Rock Lee?" Everyone laughed. Pain reached over and cracked open a bottle of vodka. Kisame frowned.
"Am I allowed to kill either of them?" he asked, and Kakuzu said absolutely not.
"I guess I'd go out with Ino, and just cheat on her. Then after a year, I'd dump her like a sack of potatoes." he said, explaining that marrying Rock Lee would be the most humiliating moment of his whole life, whereas giving Ino the most painful dumping ever would be worth waiting a year for. A few truths and dares later, Sasori asked Konan if she'd ever imagined herself having kids. To everyone's surprise (even Pain's), she blushed and looked down. "...no..." she said finally, and Sasori laughed.
"You are so lying!" he exclaimed, and Konan turned redder.
"I am not!" She looked around at her friends' deadpan expressions of shock. "...Well okay I'm lying...Yes I have imagined myself having kids." she said finally.
"With who? Did you name them? Girls or boys?" Sasori asked eagerly, quite obviously enjoying tormenting Konan by embarassing her further. "That's more than one question!" she exclaimed indignantly, and refused to answer anything more.
"Truth or dare?" she asked Itachi. He picked dare. Konan smirked, her recent embarassment forgotten.
"Alright. I dare you to let me curl your hair. Right now." There was a collective gasp of shock. Itachi seemed frozen in place.
"...I can't say no, can I?" Itachi asked, almost pleadingly. Konan shook her head and laughed evilly. She stood up and grabbed her flat iron, plugging it into the wall. She sat behind Itachi and began to curl his hair as he asked Hidan truth or dare.
"Truth, mothafucka!" he said, crossing his arms.
"How did you and Kakuzu meet?" Itachi asked curiously. Hidan's expression froze, and Kakuzu choked on the vodka he'd just swallowed. Hidan suddenly was on his feet, racing out of the room.
"Get him!" Konan cried, excited. Deidara and Sasori, who were closest to the door, chased after him, and a loud thump and swears told them that Hidan had been rugby-tackled to the ground. He came back in, sweating and swearing, Sasori panting and holding his arms behind his back while Deidara pushed him in.
"Hidan, you have to tell us." Kisame said, sipping some vodka.
"Why the fuck do I have to tell you!" Hidan asked angrily, trying to fling Sasori and Deidara off of him.
"Well, if you don't tell us..." Pain said, making eye contact with Sasori and Deidara. Konan, seeing this, sensed some kind of mysterious trope of the past was about to come up: Sasori, Deidara and Pain had been roommates when Hidan and Kakuzu had come to the school.
"Close to you~...Why do stars fall down from the sky every time you walk by? Just like me, they long to be close to you~..." They were suddenly singing the Carpenters. Hidan slapped his hands over his ears.
"Fine, fuck it all! I'll tell you, just shut the fuck up!" he exclaimed, and Sasori and Deidara high-fived each other and Pain. "We met during the summer...at a Marilyn Manson concert." Hidan began grudgingly, glaring up at Kakuzu, who was purposefully not making eye contact with him.
"And then we were at the same summer camp...and we sorta...anyways. And that's it. That's the whole fucking story." he said, emphasizing the f-word in particular. Everyone all went 'Oh...' at the same time.
"How come you don't like Close to you?" Konan asked Hidan as she curled Itachi's hair. He looked up at her, scowling. "It's because my mother used to sing that to my dad." Hidan explained. Konan nodded, but secretly, she had no idea how that was an explanation. But then, she often felt like that when Hidan started sentences with the word 'because'.
"Done, Itachi!" she exclaimed a few minutes later. Pain took pictures from all sides while Sasori and Deidara muffled their laughter in the corner. Kisame couldn't keep a straight face, and Hidan said "Man, you look fucked up." Kakuzu took a picture with his own camera (probably the pictures would be sold to Itachi fan clubs -for a price!).Itachi examined himself in the mirror, made a face of horror, and proceeded to brush frantically at his hair to try and straighten it again. "It looks awful." he muttered to Konan, who laughed.
"Truth or dare, Pain, un." Deidara said.
"Truth." Pain said, and Sasori grinned at his boyfriend.
"Have you ever imagined yourself having kids, un?" Pain clearly had not seen that coming. Although he didn't react like Konan had, he certainly looked very embarassed and awkward.
"What kind of a question is that?" he asked, half-laughing, but Deidara and Sasori just smirked at him.
"Have you?" Sasori asked, and it seemed like everyone leaned in as if he were about to divulge some kind of juicy secret.
"Well, yeah, I have." Pain said finally, and Deidara and Sasori gasped before staring at Konan pointedly.
"...What?" she asked, and Deidara just winked at her.
Around eleven, everyone went away to their respective rooms (except for Deidara and Sasori, who never slept seperately) to sleep. konan closed her door, locked it, and sighed. She stripped off her hoodie, socks, and playsuit, switching them for a purple nightie with pandas on it. She brushed out her hair, washed her face and brushed her teeth before everyone else came to do the same.
When they'd all brushed their teeth, she flopped down onto her bed, and flicked on her bedside table lamp. For a while, she just lay there in thought. Would she want to have children? Sure when she was younger, she'd imagined herself being a mother, and being a better parent than her father had been, but that was years ago.
However, when she closed her eyes and imagined her and Pain at a play ground, surrounded by three or four kids, maybe twins, and one baby, she smiled, blushing. A knock on her door made her sit up in surprise. Opening it, she found it was Pain standing there, topless.
"Hey," she said, blushing because of what she'd just been imagining. He grinned down at her.
"Hey...there's a thunderstorm." he said. Konan's eyes widened in shock.
"What? But...it's April!" she exclaimed. Pain laughed.
"I know!...anyways, I was wondering if you could stay in my room tonight because..."
"You're scared of thunderstorms, aren't you'!" Konan exclaimed in surprise. There was a clap of thunder, and they both jumped. Something inside Konan that had been hiding for a while, her AMAZING EGO, began to uncoil.
"Don't worry!" she exclaimed proudly, taking his hand and striding into his room. "
Never fear, Pain my dear. Konan's here!" she said, laughing confidently. Pain laughed, too, because she looked ridiculous with her hands on her hips in a heroic pose.
"Don't worry, everything's OK." she said impressively as Pain flopped down into his bed. She sat down next to him, and he pulled her down next to him, hugging her. Konan sighed, breathing in the nice smell of her boyfriend that enveloped her when he put the blanket over her.
"Thanks, Konan." he said quietly, pulling her a little closer to him. She kissed his cheek.
"No problem." Then there was a crash of thunder and a flash of lightning. Konan flinched , her heart beating frantically.
"I-It's okay! Everything's okay..." she told Pain, trying so hard to reassure him when really...she was scared of thunderstorms, too.
The rumbling and flashes had been dying away for a while, and Konan was pretty sure that Pain was asleep. But she lay wide awake, jumping with every roar, the blood pounding in her ears as every flash of lightning lit up the room from Pain's small window. Finally, she gave up on going to sleep, and began to count to 1000 in french. But every time the thunder crashed, she'd jump and tell herself that everything was okay...so much that she forgot which number she'd been at. Finally she got to 929, but for the life of her couldn't remember what thirty was in french, even though she'd said it about eight times that night.
After a particularly loud roar of thunder, Konan flinched and brought her hands up to cover her ears, brushing Pain as she did so. He moved. Oh shit. Konan watched as he opened his eyes and looked down at her.
"Um...don't worry! Don't be scared...It's just a stor-!" her feeble attempts to reassure him were ruined by the lightning that flashed, lighting up the room, making her squeak. Pain blinked. "Are you scared of thunder?" he asked finally. Konan spluttered indignantly.
"No! Why would you think that?" she asked, although her voice wavered. Pain grinned and wrapped one arm around her again.
"It's cute that you pretended you weren't just so you could make me feel better." he commented, and she scowled, because he was right.
"Well..." she began, but she honestly couldn't think of anything to say to that. Pain smiled at the ceiling.
"It's even cuter, because I'm not actually scared of thunderstorms." he said, and Konan sat up in surprise.
"You're not? But you said..." But now that she thought about it, Konan realized that Pain had never said that he was scared of them. In fact, she'd just...taken that idea and run with it. And now she felt really stupid.
"Oh." was all she could say, and Pain laughed quietly.
"It's okay. It was really nice of you to stay with me like you did, even though you're scared of them. Thank you." he said, kissing the top of her head lightly.
"Oh...well." Konan said, still unable to think of anything to say.
"You're welcome." she finally said, her voice muffled by Pain's chest as she lay down again. "So...why did you want me to sleep in your room?" she asked finally, and Pain grinned.
"For fun, obviously." he said casually. Konan snorted and rolled her eyes. How incredibly anticlimactic.
And typical.
"You know, sometimes I think you're just messing with me. But...it's fun. And I like it. so don't stop, okay?" she asked, knowing that what she said made absolutely no sense, but she was so tired, and the complicated thoughts and feelings inside her were too dificult to explain properly. Pain pulled her closer.
"Of course." he said before he dipped his chin down and kissed her. Thunder boomed, and Konan's body stiffened, but Pain didn't stop kissing her, he just pulled her closer.
"It's okay. I'm right here." he murmured quietly before kissing her again. Somehow, those three words were enough to make Konan forget her fears, and just stay right there with the boy she loved so much.
~You say that I'm messing with your head, boy. I like messing in your bed, yeah. I am messing with your head when I'm messing with you in bed~
Phew! Not as long as my earlier chapters, I know, but I had to get in the swing of writing this couple again...I hope you guys liked this chapter anyways! Oh, and the title's not supposed to make sense... I know that the whole chapter is only about 24 hours long, but it was a long 24 hours. Anyways, so I've pretty much got the end of this story in sight...or rather, the CLIMACTIC SCENE! Now, this is important, so please read this little blurb! I would really appreciate to hear from you guys about one particular thing about this plot... Please vote if Pain and Konan should have kids (after highschool, obviously...O_O)!
I'll update soonish, I think...probably near the end of June, after my last Provincial exam! I love my reviewers and subscribers, etc! Thank you so much for your support!