Hungry Eyes
Sorry this update was later than I thought! I wanted to have a little more time to make sure the love scene was, at least, readable, not that that's a word. I'm sorry it's not very graphic or sexy or anything like that, but i did my best. Please read this with low expectations! I'll update soon, I promise. -S. Nova
The first few days after the death of Mr Angelo were a blur. Konan remembered events in chunks rather than moments. She remembered the taxi ride to the hospital; it had smelled sharply of blood, and Deidara hadn't stopped crying.
Not that he was the only one: there was hardly a dry eye in that cab as Sasori faded in and out of consciousness, bleeding profusely.
Pain had taken off his t-shirt and had wrapped it over the wound to staunch the flow of blood. Konan remembered how they'd all begged the driver to switch the radio off when I will remember you started playing.
That song had always made Konan cry, no matter what; Don't let your life pass you by/ Weep not for the memories was, to her, the saddest line in musical history. If you don't weep for the memories, what are you supposed to do with the pain that poisons your heart, along with the loss that suffocates you like a blanket of emptiness? As soon as they got to the hospital, Deidara had shoved a couple hundred dollar bills at the cab driver, not caring at all how much he overpaid.
They rushed in, and Sasori was immediately wheeled off to the ER. Konan knew that she could never forget sitting in that waiting room. She thought of everyone who had ever waited in a hospital waiting room, worried, stressed, tired, and frightened; Husbands of women giving birth, the children and family of those who have had a heart attack...feeling completely useless as their loved one fought through pain and fear alone, except for strangers in white coats.
Konan shook her head slowly and curled up against Pain, burying her face in his shoulder. He put his arm around her. She cried, but she was all out of tears. She fell asleep. I would like to say that she dreamed of picnics, Sasori wiping off the blood and saying 'Kidding!', of cigarette smoke clouding over a riverboat, but she didn't, so I can't. Her dreams blurred and combined, as Sasori's funeral was interrupted by Deidara blowing himself up over the coffin blurred and dissolved into her mother, cold, pale, and her father making love to the corpse before it became a swarm of butterflies, which her father slammed in books and labelled as 'whore', 'bitch', 'cunt', and 'monster'. Konan tried to talk to him, to hit him, anything, but she found herself trapped in a pale white net in a desert. Marley dragged himself towards her. He was dead, and rotting, his neck at a terrible angle. He pointed a pale, swollen finger at her, and Konan screamed.
She woke up with a start, shuddering and quite disturbed. She looked around the room. There was an old couple talking quietly in a corner, a father and two children playing scrabble next to them, then Hidan and Kakuzu sleeping across from them, leaning on each other.
Kisame was leaning against the vending machine, Itachi reading a book close by. Pain was asleep, so Konan got up carefully, so as not to wake him up. She stood up, pain in her legs as she stretched them, and looked all around the room. Deidara was gone.
Because she had just had a dream in which Sasori died and Deidara killed himself, her heart began to beat faster. She jogged to the assistance counter and asked the woman there, pregnant with watery blue eyes, if she'd seen a blonde girl (better to say girl than 'a boy who looks like a girl in a lace body suit, shorts, and bra') around her height wearing black lace leave the room.
The woman said that 'she' had left an hour ago for the smoking-permitted balcony. Konan thanked her and walked towards the door, fearing what she might find; Deidara didn't smoke, so...
She pushed the door open and stepped out into the cool night air. It was around two am, and there weren't too many cars on the streets below. She looked up and down the balcony, but couldn't see Deidara. Hands shaking, she walked towards the edge of the balcony fence, and looked down. Nothing but darkness.
"Are you looking for me?"
Konan whirled around. Deidara, hidden in darkness, was sitting on the bench behind her.
"Thank God," Konan sighed, falling onto him and hugging him, relief flooding her. He rested his head on her shoulder. She didn't say anything as she felt tears drip onto her. She held his hand, knowing that there really wasn't anything that she could do to make him feel better. She wasn't even sure how to cheer herself up.
"What do you think happens when people die?" she asked him, looking up at the starless sky. Deidara shook his head.
"I don't know. I've never really thought about it, un. But there's heaven and hell, right?"
"There are also ideas that you're reborn as something else. It could be a worm, or it could be a king, depending on how 'good' you are in this one."
"Oh. Why'd you ask?" Konan closed her eyes.
"I always believed in heaven and hell. But...whenever I actually think about 'living forever', I'd much rather just go to sleep and not wake up again. Because life is tiring, and...I wouldn't want to live forever. I'd rather just die." she said softly, and Deidara looked at her. Her eyes were threatening to spill over with tears, but she was trying hard to stop them.
"Do you think he's gonna die?" he asked in such a tone that Konan couldn't tell if he was accusing her or worried. Konan just decided to be honest.
"I don't think he's going to die. He's got too much to live for. You, for example." she said, smiling slightly, and Deidara closed his eyes, but smiled a little, too.
"Do they know how serious it is?" Konan asked, and Deidara sighed, shaking his head slowly. When he spoke, his voice was far away and unnatural.
"The last thing they said was that there had been 'complications', and that now, instead of an 80% chance, there's only a 40% chance that he'll live, un."
Konan froze, shocked.
"What? What 'complications'?" she asked, now taken aback at how Deidara had managed to cope with this by himself for so long. He squeezed Konan's hand, and she knew he was afraid.
"When you and the others were asleep, they came in and said that the bullet had clipped a main artery, just near the shoulder, so he was losing a lot of blood, un. That's when they said 90%. Ten minutes later, it was 80% because it would be a difficult surgery.
An hour later, it was 40%. The bullet (which they'd removed) was impregnated with some kind of chemical they didn't recognize. After a couple quick tests, they said they found out that it spreads through the blood system, infecting the body with poison.
So now...they're trying to isolate the infected blood, remove it, and replace it, un. But I bet they're gonna come along any time now and say 30%. Then 20%. Then 10%. Then...nothing." his voice cracked and he leaned against Konan, who stroked his hair.
"Hush," she said, kissing the top of his head, but she knew he was crying, and she was, too.
"He'll be fine. He'll be fine." she said quietly, but she didn't even believe herself.
Konan woke up a second time to a knock on the door to the smoking area.
A nurse.
Deidara was on his feet faster than Konan could open her eyes.
"What's happened?" Deidara asked as soon as he opened the door. The nurse took a look at her clipboard.
"The doctors were unable to contain the contaminated blood." Deidara stared at her. Konan got up and put her arms around him, before asking what would happen. The little nurse looked sympathetically at them.
"There is one way we can stop the worst from happening, but it's not certain...It's really a ballpark move." she said, and Deidara nodded.
"What is it?" he asked urgently, and the brunette answered, "One of the doctors, Dr Monticelli, has been working on an experiment for many years, and he says that it will work, but it hasn't been tested yet. In theory, it should permanently stop the spreading of the infection. According to Dr Monticelli's papers and the tests he's done on animals, there is a 50% chance that it will work."
"We'll do it, un." Deidara said immediately, and she asked if they wanted to know the side affects, to which Konan said yes.
"It's a rather unstable procedure, so he may not make it. Also, afterwards there may be permanent effects on his body. For example, he may not physically mature as quickly as he should, or perhaps he may not grow at all. This is the main after-effect observed by Dr Monticelli, and the others vary from species to species".
Konan nodded and the nurse walked away. The door closed behind her, and Konan looked at Deidara. She wanted to ask if he was sure, but she didn't have the heart to. They went back to the bench and sat hand-in-hand, waiting in silence.
The sun rose hesitantly. Deidara watched the birds flying over the city as the first light of the sun lit the clouds. He was hungry, but ignored it. He felt rather hollow, actually.
Konan was asleep against him. He was remembering a conversation with Sasori from months ago.
It had been dark, past midnight, and they had been lying side-by-side in Deidara's bed, talking and listening to some old cd of Sasori's.
"What would you do if I died?"
"That's not funny, un."
"I know it's not. But if I died tomorrow, would you act differently than if I died when I'm seventy?"
"...I guess I'd be more shocked."
"Uh huh?"
"...I probably wouldn't get over it for a long time, un."
"Why?"
"Because...if I lived, and I graduated, and bought a car and a house...I'd always be thinking that you could have been doing the same thing, but you can't, un. I'd feel bad my whole life." Sasori had rolled over to look at Deidara. He was grinning.
"Really? How nice." Deidara shoved him, and Sasori laughed, rolling over again and wrapping an arm around Deidara's waist before kissing his neck.
"I know this sounds selfish-"
"You always sound selfish, un." Deidara retorted, earning himself a sharp poke.
"I was saying, it would be nice if you were sad when I died. Do you know what I mean? I think everyone who knows they're dying tells people 'let it go, forget me, be happy, move on', but I honestly think I'd rather you be miserable and upset." Deidara shoved him away again, grinning. "You're right, that did sound selfish, un." Sasori laughed and rolled back over.
"Well, what would you do if I died tomorrow?" Deidara asked. Sasori turned and glared at him. "Don't say that. I think I'd die." he said before rolling back over.
Deidara had watched him, lost in thought until he, too, drifted off to sleep.
"Excuse me?"
Deidara looked up. The nurse was back, holding two cups of coffee. Deidara leapt to his feet, and Konan woke up.
"What happened?" he asked urgently. The nurse smiled.
"He survived the surgery." she said. Deidara stared at her. He felt like he was in the twilight zone...he felt quite detached, actually. Konan jumped to her feet, relief flooding her.
"Seriously? He's okay?" The nurse handed them both the coffee, honest happiness apparent on her face.
"Well, he's still in a critical condition, and for the next two weeks, anything could happen...but he is relatively stable. He's breathing on his own, which is quite honestly, a miracle. You can go see him now, as long as you don't stress him or move him. He needs a lot of rest."
Deidara was already through the door before she finished speaking.
Konan followed him, shook Pain awake, and they walked (there was a 'No Running' sign) down the hall, following Deidara who was clearly running, to Sasori's room.
Deidara looked through the small window on the door. He could see dark red hair through a gap in the blue curtains surrounding the bed. Heart thudding against his ribs, he pushed the door open and walked in. He was slightly afraid of what he might find.
The nurse had said 'critical', but what did 'critical' even mean? It means he's alive, Deidara thought, and walked quietly to the bed. He didn't dare open the curtains; he sat down on a chair he'd moved so he could see Sasori's head. It was turned the other way, so Deidara couldn't see his face, but he could hear him breathing. He sat there quietly, marvelling at how miraculous something as mundane as breathing could be.
"Open the curtains, stupid." Sasori's voice said loudly. Deidara almost jumped out of his skin: when he'd imagined 'critical condition', he hadn't imagined Sasori speaking so strongly with his normal attitude.
"You're awake?" Deidara asked, standing up and drawing back the curtains. He tried to hide how his hands were shaking. Sasori turned his head to face Deidara, who stared at him. His skin was paler than usual, and there were shadows under his eyes, but other then that...
"You look...fine." Deidara said, so surprised, he was completely blunt. Sasori snorted.
"Thanks. Where's everybody else? They're supposed to be crowded around my sickbed." he said, looking around the empty room.
"Most of them are asleep. Konan's-" The door opened, and Konan and Pain walked in. Konan stared at Deidara, then at Sasori. Pain stared at Sasori's face, then his shoulder, taking in the huge bandage that was sticking out from under the blankets.
"Are you okay?" Konan asked, grabbing two chairs and putting them down next to Deidara before looking worriedly at Sasori, who sighed.
"Oh, you know...I feel kind of drained, cut open, sewn back together and genetically altered..."
"WHAT?"
"Kidding. I feel numb. They gave me pain killers." he said with a grin, and the other three sighed with relief. A few minutes later, Itachi, Kisame, Hidan and Kakuzu arrived. They had a huge bouquet of flowers, which all of them denied having ordered (actually it was Hidan), and more coffee.
"So, how long are you gonna be in here?" Itachi asked, sipping his coffee. Sasori sighed.
"Well, I have to stay for at least two weeks. If something goes wrong, longer, if not...about three weeks. They want to keep me in the hospital for a week extra, just in case." he said, obviously irritated; he hated having to wait.
"So that's until...the first week of July or something?" Kisame asked, and Konan nodded; she'd asked the nurse on the way.
"What are you guys going to do? Do you have any money to get back home?" Sasori asked, propping himself up on his elbows, wincing. Pain shook his head, but Konan nodded.
"I've got money." she said, and Kakuzu looked at her.
"How much?" "I got my allowance the day before I came." she answered, and he nodded; everyone knew that Konan's posted allowances were few and far between, and the sum was irregular, but usually above five thousand dollars. Not that she spent it, usually.
"Good." Sasori said with a sigh. The nurse walked in and ushered everyone out, but Deidara had fallen asleep, and she couldn't wake him up, so she left him there. She shut the door behind herself, and walked to the doctors' lounge while the others walked back to the waiting room.
"You're not asleep, are you?" Sasori asked after a few minutes. Deidara didn't move. Sasori sighed and watched him sleep until a doctor came in to give him more pain killers.
"This one will make you sleepy." the doctor said, and Sasori nodded. A few minutes later, the doctor left. Deidara opened his eyes and sat up. He had never really been asleep, he just didn't want to leave. He stood up and walked over to Sasori's bed, dragging his chair with him. He sat down and rested his head on his arms, on the mattress next to Sasori, who sleepily looked at him accusingly.
"I thought you fell asleep."
"You're gullible, un." Deidara said, but he really meant to say 'Thank God you're alive, I love you, don't leave me.' Sasori smiled slightly, and it was clear he was falling asleep.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Deidara asked, running his eyes again over the thick bandages around Sasori's shoulder.
"M'okay. It's cute, though...you're worried about me." Sasori said sleepily, and Deidara ran his hand through Sasori's messy red hair.
"Of course I am, stupid. Of course I am, un."
"Deidara..." Deidara looked up. Sasori was almost asleep, he was fighting to keep his eyes open.
"What?" Deidara asked, leaning closer to hear him. Sasori raised his head, bringing his hand up from under the blankets.
"What?" Deidara asked again, leaning closer. Sasori grinned, pulled Deidara's head down and turned it, and kissed him. Then he closed his eyes and fell asleep, keeping a loose grip on Deidara's hand.
Deidara stared at him before sitting down again, holding his hand. He grinned and leaned back, knowing that it would be a long, long night.
"I'll get us hotel rooms," Konan said, turning on her cellphone, which Hidan had returned to her.
"How are you gonna pay for this?" Kisame asked, and she smiled slightly.
"They'll charge it to the family accounts. It's fine, trust me. I'm sure that even Daddy, as in debt as he was, still had more than enough left for a couple nights in a proper hotel." She searched through her contacts until she found the Marriott Hotels number.
She normally stayed in those when her father was away, and they were reasonably tricky to find in Yellow Pages.
"Oh, first...how many of you guys need a place to stay?" she asked, looking around. Pain raised his hand. Kisame said that he'd probably stay another night then head back. Itachi said he was going to go and visit Sasuke, who was on a trip to London, the next morning.
"We're going bounty hunting." Kakuzu said, and Hidan nodded. Konan couldn't help herself, she snorted with laughter.
"Bounty hunting? Do people still do that?"
"Of course. You just have to know who to talk to."
"And you guys know?"
"I do," Kakuzu said, and ended the conversation. Konan returned to her call, reserving two rooms.
Half an hour later found Kisame, Konan and Pain in a taxi, heading downtown to the nearest Marriott. "So..." Konan began, knowing that she probably shouldn't ask, but she was curious...
"What?" Kisame asked, and she bit her lip.
"Are you...why aren't you going with Itachi?" Kisame blinked at her.
"Why would I?"
"Well..." Awkward turtle moment. "Is there a reason you're not going with him?"
Kisame looked confused.
"Uh...I'd rather go home than with him to London?"
"Oh. But aren't you...you know...together?"
Kisame stared at her. Then he started to laugh. Konan felt more awkward than she'd felt in a long time.
"No, we're not! Where'd you get that idea?" he asked, still laughing. Pain glanced at Konan, grinning. Clearly he had never been mistaken about Kisame and Itachi's relationship. Konan felt pretty darn foolish.
"But...well...he's always in your room! And...you know...you're all...close and stuff!" Kisame grinned toothily.
"The heating in his room doesn't work, so he sometimes comes in my room. We're just friends, you know. And we're only 'close' because he's a quiet person, you know.
He doesn't talk that much to people he doesn't know well, and we've known each other for a long time. That's it! Did you seriously think an Uchiha would be with me? Hah!" Kisame said, ending the conversation very awkwardly.
"Oh...sorry..." Konan said, and Kisame laughed, patting her on the arm.
"I'm sorry you've had the wrong idea this whole year, silly girl." he said, getting out of the cab as it stopped. Konan and Pain followed him out, and the two boys followed Konan as she walked up to the front desk.
"Amega and two guests." she said, and got two room keys. She walked back to them, and Kisame raised his eyebrows.
"Two keys? I take it you and me will be sharing, then?" he asked teasingly to Konan who scowled. "Well excuse me, but this isn't exactly cheap!"
"You're telling me?" Pain said, looking around the large entrance hall. Kisame grinned.
"What's wrong with a motel?" Kisame asked as they walked up the staircase to their rooms. Konan scowled.
"I don't like motels. I was afraid of this one awful motel when I was younger, and...this place has really nice bathrooms." she admitted, and Pain and Kisame glanced at each other as they followed her up the stairs.
"You know what...I'd forgotten! Deidara's still wearing a bra!" Kisame said, and Konan and Pain laughed, feeling quite sorry for the poor blonde boy.
"Honestly, the worst was that lace bodysuit thing. So itchy!" Konan sighed as they turned down the corner and stopped in front of rooms 231 and 232.
"'Night," Kisame said, and opened the door to 231. Konan looked at Pain, who raised his eyebrows and smiled back. She opened the door, and followed Pain in. He switched on the lights.
"Did they give us a honeymoon suite?" Pain asked, and Konan awkwardly said that she wasn't sure. There was only one bed, and it was huge. The bathroom, as Konan had hoped, was as nice as she'd thought, with a large bathtub.
"Wow! Look, it's got lions!" Pain said, staring at the open lion mouths where water came out.
"I know, isn't this fun?" Konan exclaimed, bouncing up and down on the bed. She knew that she'd feel bad later, but at that moment, spending who knows how much of her father's (now officially revealed as being illegal) money was really fun.
"Woah, that's the biggest TV I've ever seen!" Pain exclaimed, joining Konan on the bed, staring at the opposite wall where an enormous screen hung from the wall.
"I know! And they have a full-sized fridge!" Konan said, running over to the stainless-steel kitchen unit and opening the fridge...which already had champagne in it! She found a card on the table and opened it. "Happy Honeymoon." She sighed, and picked up the phone to call reception.
"What?" Pain asked, coming over and sitting on the table next to her. She looked at him, disappointed.
"This is a honeymoon suite. I didn't pay for this!" she said, and Pain patted her on the back.
"It's okay. Just see what they say. Maybe it's not a mistake." Konan dialed the number and waited.
"Hello, customer service?"
"Hi, this is Konan Amega, room 232. I found a card saying that this is a honeymoon suite, but it's not what I paid for." she explained reluctantly; it was a really nice room. The receptionist shuffled a few papers.
"Yes, that's right. A couple had booked room 232 for their honeymoon, but at the last minute cancelled their reservation just before you called. It's our last open room, but tomorrow room 231 will be open, and you will have to switch rooms for the rest of your stay here. But tonight, room 232 is the same price as our regular rooms."
"Oh, okay. Thanks!" "Good night." Konan put the phone down.
"Well?" Pain asked, and Konan grinned.
"We get to stay here for tonight, and it's not extra!" Pain grinned, and scooped her up, carrying her, laughing, over to the bed, where he dumped her down and jumped on, laughing. Konan laughed, trying to move with Pain lying over her stomach.
"Hey, do you want to get some food?" he asked, and Konan nodded, only then realizing that she was starving.
"I'll go see what Kisame wants. Knowing him, I'd bet...Japanese. Is take-out okay?" Pain asked, getting up.
"Yeah, it's fine. You want me to pay?" she asked, and Pain shot her a look, grinning.
"Konan. You've paid for two rooms in one of the most expensive hotels in the city, and you're going to pay for Sasori's hospital bills, including the procedure. I think I'd feel like a total asshole if I didn't pay for some takeout." he said, and Konan laughed as he left the room.
She rolled over and accidentally hit a button on the headboard with her knee.
Immediately, Take my breath away began playing softly out of some speakers disguised in the bedside table lamps. Konan snorted and pushed the button again. Instead of turning off, it switched to I want to know what love is. Konan rolled over and closed her eyes.
Immediately the face of Marley, dead between her legs, flashed in her mind.
She opened her eyes, feeling sick." Your dad said you'd be ready by tomorrow, but the measurements still aren't right."
"...your daddy's been messin' with your body for a while, y'know... doing genetic make-up alterations..." Two weeks on hormones activates it. According to plan, you've become Mr A's ideal woman. Or, you ought to, really soon."
Konan rolled over and clapped her hands over her ears, even though she knew that doing that wouldn't stop her mind from digging up horrible thoughts...she was changing...she was changing even now...
She got out her phone and texted Deidara. I need to talk to you. A few minutes later, he replied; what's up? Konan thought what to say. She wasn't even sure herself; her mind was a big messy jumble of thoughts, memories, false images, and emotions.
She shook herself a little, then texted back; I need advice. A few minutes later; sure. What? She bit her lip. She wasn't even sure 'what' herself.
After a few minutes, she texted; If you were thinking about doing something...and you knew that if you didn't do it right now, it might never be the same again, would you do it even if...even if you knew that maybe you shouldn't?
Deidara took a little longer to respond, and when he did, Konan sighed. I would, but it depend what you mean 'you shouldn't'. If you think that it would be worse if you did do it than if you didn't, don't. If not...why not? Make babies, do whatever. Just don't...die. Konan laughed and rolled over. She texted back 'thanks' and switched off her phone.
The music was still playing, a different song now. She recognized it, an oldies one that Sasori always played back home. She listened to the words, trying to hear what the singer was saying. When your baby leaves you all alone/ And nobody calls you on the phone /Ah, don't you feel like crying?/ Don't you feel like crying?/ Well here I am my honey/ Oh, come on you cry to me.
Konan smiled, remembering how Deidara had told her once that it was his favourite song. She had always wondered why, but now that she listened to it properly, it sounded like the kind of song she'd love to hear in a bus when it was raining outside and she was alone. It was the kind of song that could stand alone and make the listener feel...not so alone. And not happy, but not quite sad.
She sighed and rolled over again before asking the question that had been subtly torturing her mind for the past...well, 12 hours. The song ended. Snow Patrol came on. Just say yes... Konan snorted at the irony, and pulled on Deidara's boots, leaving a note and walking out the door.
"Hey, Konan! There was a huge traffic jam, but I brought some food..." Pain stopped talking. He put the steaming take-out bags down on the kitchen counter and walked forwards, looking curiously at Konan.
"What's up?" he asked, walking forwards slowly, his hands in his pockets. Konan looked up, now completely sure what she wanted to do...just not sure that she could do it. She got off of the bed took a step towards Pain.
"Hey,..." "Yeah?" She stepped closer again. I wanna know what love is started playing out of the stereos as Konan walked around Pain before pulling his shirt off.
"Are you coming onto me?" he asked teasingly, turning around and sliding his hands up Konan's waist, lifting her up in a hug. He pretended to stagger backwards and fell onto the bed. Konan straddled him and bent over, kissing down his neck. With one hand, she reached for his belt buckle. Pain wrapped his hand around her wrist and pulled her off. He sat up, and so did she.
"What are you doing?" he asked, as if she was playing a game and he was finally giving in. Konan blushed and looked at her feet.
"...nuthin'..." she mumbled, and Pain laughed humourlessly before flipping her over, pinning her down on the bed.
Konan's heart sped up with perverse excitement.
She didn't look at his face, his expression was too unreadable. She looked instead at his exposed torso, taking in the metal that occasionally interrupted the pale, smooth skin over his visible muscles.
"What are you thinking?" he asked her quietly, and Konan looked into his eyes.
"For that matter, did you go shopping?" he asked, looking down at Konan's little black dress. She couldn't think, she wasn't even sure how to answer him.
She wasn't sure she could speak anymore. He stopped her with a hand, turning her chin to look at him again.
"Seriously, please talk to me. It's already hard for me not to just jump you right now, but I would like to know why." he said, poking at humour.
Konan felt a small amount of satisfaction knowing that he was, at least, having difficulty resisting her amazing plan. She blew some hair out of her face and took his hand, tracing the lines on his palm as she answered.
"You know how my daddy injected me with...stuff that would make me change?" Pain's expression grew dark. "Yes. Did something happen?"he asked, and Konan shook her head.
"Nothing, but...well, yes. I mean, I'm changing...already I went up a bra size and things...but..." Pain rolled off of her and sat up, looking at her seriously. She continued, still tracing his hand.
"I'm afraid. I'm afraid because I'm changing...quickly. I'm becoming somebody that I don't know."
"You're still-"
"I know it's just physical, but still. I don't recognize 'Andromeda'. I don't know her, and honestly, I don't like her. I fell in love with you in this body. And that's why...I want you. While I'm still me, I want you. Right now." she said, meeting his eyes. He seemed like he was trying to restrain himself. He looked away, absent-mindedly running his finger up and down her foot.
"Are you sure?" he asked finally, and she nodded.
(**Listen to Hungry Eyes by Eric Carmen for the next bit, please**)
"Yes. Make love to me, please." she said, feeling more confident by the minute. A familiar song softly began playing out of the speakers.
Pain looked at Konan again, testing her with his gaze. She looked back steadily. He got up off the bed, smiling ever so slightly, and raised his hand. She took it, and he pulled her off the bed into a hug.
"I love you." Pain said quietly, and Konan nodded. She backed away a step and unzipped her dress. She pulled it over her head and dropped it onto the floor. Pain was watching her, his thumbs in his pockets, his own shirt already discarded. Pain stepped towards her, and kissed her.
She kissed him back, wrapping he rarms around his neck. He slid his hands up and down her waist and back before expertly tugging on the ribbon at the back of Konan's black lace bra. It came off, and Pain discarded it next to Konan's dress.
He scooped her up and lay her down on the bed, not breaking the kiss once. Finally, he pulled away and looked down at her. Konan didn't feel embarrassed. She looked back confidently, and Pain smiled slightly, running a finger softly from her collarbones, between her breasts, down her stomach, to the hem of her panties.
They looked at each other.
I've got this feeling that won't subside. I look at you and I fantasize...you're mine tonight. Now I've got you in my sights... With these hungry eyes. One look at you and I can't disguise, I've got hungry eyes...
"Deidara likes this song." Konan said randomly, and Pain laughed before bending over again and kissing down her neck slowly. Konan undid his belt and unzipped his pants. He kicked them off, and they lay sprawled on the floor next to Konan's dress and bra.
"Hey.." Konan said, amazed that her voice was already a little breathless. Pain looked up at her.
"Do you have..." she began, but Pain grinned at her and held up a condom.
"Clever boy. Continue, please." Konan said with a smile, and Pain bit down on her neck, making her squeak.
"Not so superior now, are we?" he said with a grin, kissing the bitemark on her skin. Konan sighed and ran her hands through his hair as he bent lower and lower, kissing down her stomach, over her bellybutton piercings, until he finally met her eyes and tugged her panties off. She held her breath but kept her gaze focused on Pain's face.
"Konan?"
"Hmmm?"
"Just...I love you." he said, and Konan stared at him; he looked embarrassed.
"I love you more." she said, and he grinned at her.
"No way."
"Yeah!"
"Impossible!"
"You'd better start believing!" she said before gasping and blushing. He grinned, the tip of his index finger on her clit.
"I win." he said simply, kissing her softly.
"You cheated." Konan accused, turning her head.
"You're a sore loser."
"No..."
"Yeah, you are."
"...yeah..." Pain grinned and removed his hand, taking the condom packet and ripping it open with his teeth. Konan took it from him, looking at it in distaste.
"Ugh. Do we have to?" she asked, joking. Pain grinned.
"I think that for your sake, we do." he said, taking it back. Konan tugged his boxers off with her feet, grinning at him impishly, eyebrows raised. She wouldn't look...she didn't want to look...she looked, and blushed.
Pain didn't roll the condom on just yet; he kissed down her stomach again, this time not stopped by her black panties, and after kissing the inside of both her thighs, applied his tongue to her clit.
"Oh God," Konan said in a low voice, fisting the blankets, aware that she shouldn't yell; Kisame was, after all, in the room right next to them. Konan looked up at him as he slowly, carefully slid into her. She closed her eyes, then smiled triumphantly at him.
"'I wanna show you what's love's all about, Darlin' tonight..." she mumbled softly along with the song. Pain started moving slowly when he was sure that she was okay.
"Hurry up," she said after she was used to it, looping her legs over his hips and holding him closer. Pain grinned at her, sweating a little like she was.
"So impatient. I'm gonna have to break you of that bad habit sometime," he teased, and she grinned, but then gasped as he sped up. He came fairly quickly, Konan following soon after when he went back down with his tongue.
Finally she lay still, covered in sweat and staring at him wide-eyed; how strange things are, how odd the world is, how curious, these things that people do. Pain lay down next to her, and she held his hand as they both stared up at the ceiling for a minute. The speakers were finally quiet, and Konan could hear Pain's heartbeat. Or maybe it was her own. Pain looked over at Konan, who looked a bit stunned, looking up at her hands which she'd raised in the air.
"Hey,"
"Hey."
"...did it hurt?"
"...Yes." Pain rolled over, and looked at Konan, who was watching him.
"...did you like it?" Konan rolled over, too, got up on her knees, only vaguely noticing the dull ache in her lower stomach, and leaned over on his sweaty chest, resting her cheek on her arms, looking at him seriously.
"I liked it. Thank you." she said before kissing him. He smiled and kissed her back, pulling her towards him.
They rolled over, off of the bed. Konan landed on the floor, Pain on top of her, kissing her and softly running his hands up and down her sides in the way he knew she loved.
"Don't smoke, okay?" Konan asked, and Pain looked at her in confusion.
"Everybody smokes after doing it, but I don't want you to, okay?" she asked determinedly.
A minute, then Pain burst out laughing.
There was a knock on the door.
Konan and Pain stared at it.
The door opened.
With a speed that Konan had only seen in Olympic races on tv, Pain had jumped up, rolled Konan out of view behind the wall, and had pulled on his boxers.
"Hey, what's up? Just thought I'd say goodbye to you and Konan. I'm going now, my flight's in an hour." It was Kisame. Pain walked towards him and began talking as Konan frantically hunted out of view for her underwear and dress. Finding them, she put them on and walked out from behind the wall.
Kisame raised her eyebrows at her, then looked at Pain, who also looked at Konan. Sensing something was amiss, she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror...and mentally swore as she realized that her dress was on inside out. Excusing herself, she sped into the bathroom and fixed it.
"Have a nice flight!" she said just as Kisame was leaving. He grinned at her.
"Sure. Have fun...here.." he said, leaving a world of innuendos in his wake. He closed the door behind himself. Pain looked at Konan, and she at him.
"He knew, didn't he?" she asked, and Pain grinned.
"Well, considering that your dress was inside out, I think he probably did." he said teasingly, locking the door. Konan elbowed him as they walked back to the bed. He grabbed her around the waist and threw her onto the bed before jumping on behind her.
They lay together again, this time sure that there would be no interruptions.
"Pain?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you think Sasori's okay?" Pain rolled over and grinned.
"If I know anything about him, I'd say that he and Deidara are doing it as we speak."
"In a hospital?" Konan asked in amazement, trying to picture...no.
"What's wrong with a hospital? Lots of beds, lots of privacy...and it's really clean!" Pain said, and Konan laughed. She pulled off her dress and crawled under the blankets.
"Goodnight." she said with a yawn, and Pain laughed, following her. He wrapped an arm around her waist, tracing a circle around her bellybutton.
"Can you turn off the lights?" she asked, and he reached up to hit the switch. On its way up, though, his elbow hit the speaker button.
Close to youuuuuu...
"Oh, for God's sake!" Konan exclaimed and started to laugh.
The next morning, Pain and Konan went to a diner for breakfast before going to visit the hospital. Sasori was having an examination, so they and Deidara went to the nearest mall and got Deidara some new clothes.
They donated the lace bodysuit to the Foundation Army (surprisingly, they took it) and went to see the last Harry Potter movie, part two. They had all read the books, so they spent the whole movie admiring the scenery and criticizing the screenplay.
"That never happened in the book," Konan whispered, earning herself a chorus of 'SHH!'s from the rest of the audience. Pain and Deidara burst out laughing, and they were escorted out of the theatre. They dropped Deidara off again at the hospital, and returned to the hotel.
"Now what?" Pain asked, and Konan looked at him with raised eyebrows.
"I know what we could do." she said cheerfully, and Pain grinned.
"What?" he asked, and she pulled him, laughing, into the bathroom by the neck of his shirt.
After they'd had a shower as well as something a little more exciting, they went into town and Konan bought some more clothes; after all, she had no more luggage.
They went into a large department store, and 'broke' the elevator. When they were finally let out, they were sweating and out of breath, claiming that the elevator had 'overheated'.
They paid another visit to Deidara in the hospital, got 'lost' and did it on a bucket in the janitor's closet.
Then they went out for dinner. Konan had been eating a lot more than usual, because of her unusual growth pattern. She complained that it was like puberty all over again. Half-way through, Konan had a 'little trouble' in the bathroom, so Pain went in to 'help'.
By the time they finally called it a night and went back to their hotel room, Pain, who had a considerable sex drive, was understandably tired out. Konan herself, who could have kept going a little longer, decided to have a nice relaxing bath...and locked the door, for once.
She lay in the bath, happier than she'd been in quite some time. Not because of the sex...well, partly because of the sex, but mostly because she could now face her body's changes with her head held high; she had no regrets anymore. Well, not any that she wouldn't forget about in a few months. She looked down at her breasts. Normally in a completely-full tub, she would hardly see them. But now they were visible, breaking the surface of the water. Rather like whales, she thought as she considered them with interest, or maybe submarines. Round ones. While most girls who had always been a little disappointed in their figure might have welcomed the chance to have a curvier figure, Konan was a little depressed; it was now impossible for her to fit into her old jeans, and more than once her hips had gotten trapped in narrow doorways. It was a bit of a handicap, and an irritation as more and more persons of the opposite sex began to take notice of her in the streets.
"I'm cursed!" she moaned one morning as she walked with Pain, complaining that her back was starting to hurt because her chest was so heavy. Pain snorted.
"Cursed with awesome." he said, wrapping his arm around her and kissing her cheek. Then he paused.
"Did you grow?" he asked. She gave him a 'no shit, Sherlock' look, and he grinned.
"No, I mean I think you got taller." She looked at her feet, as if they would answer her, then examined Pain's face.
"I am looking straight ahead..." she said slowly, staring ahead of her. "...and I can see your mouth. That's new. It's normally collarbones." she said with a frown.
Pain laughed and they kept walking. She felt quite silly then, complaining about something that really wasn't so bad; she just wasn't used to it, and changes scared her. Sasori had been released from the hospital a few weeks previously, and he and Deidara had been staying in the same hotel as Pain and Konan.
They would leave in a few days, the second week of August, back home. Sasori had unwrapped the bandages, and they had all stared, 'ooh'ed and 'ahh'ed at the scar on his arm.
"It's so bad-ass!" Konan said, and Sasori laughed.
"You know it," he said with a wink.
"Yes, Sasori's we all know you're a sex god," Deidara began drily, "but to me, almost dying because of a bullet to the arm, then spending several weeks in a hospital gown tends to lean more towards 'Sasori, crouching Badass, hidden Moron."
Sasori punched his arm playfully as Konan and Pain laughed.
Once again, they were kicked out of the movie theatre.
Okay, slightly shorter than usual, I know, but next chapter will be usual length, I promise!
I really hit a roadblock trying to write a love scene...you know, I wouldn't even call it that. it's more like a vague description.
Oh well, it's the best I can do.
Not graphic or anything, but whatever.
If it's bad, I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna change it; I'd only make it worse.
Took inspiriation from The time traveler's wife, and I know it's quite similar, and I'm sorry.
I know the last two chapters have been kinda serious, but I promise I'll go back to writing humour in the next chapter and the ones to follow! Miraculously, the end of this fic is (surprisingly) within sight! I've decided that Provocation is generally better-written than this one, but after reading I Love all the way through, I'd love to thank everybody who's read this story...I can tell that my writing's gotten much better. You might not be able to tell, but I think so. This chapter is dedicated to everyone who's stuck with this story since it's start, last August! Thank you! Thank you all!
-S.N.