Expecting the Unexpected
Hello! Hello out there! Yes, you're not hallucinating, although it may seem like it... I have updated I Love! Hurrah! Rejoice! I know I did, after the struggle and exhaustion was over!
I meant to update this on my birthday, as a little present to myself, but today's the 1st of October, and I just couldn't wait another seven days until next Saturday which is the 8th (my birthday) to update on MY BIRTHDAY! ...ahem, I'm a little excited about that...
.Anyways, hope you like this story! I'll explain the title at the end of it, so it's not a spoiler! I'm actually pretty proud of the title, and I thought about it for a while. Also, heads-up, I might change my username soonish...
Also, aren't you excited! This fic is... I'd say 83% done! Yes, you heard me, there's more to come. But we're getting there! There's just a year, and then an epilogue, and then... and then that's it! Except for my Konan Hidan fic, which was a request, which I will start as soon as this and Prov. are over.
My God, this is getting long... I'd better space it out. Anyways, sorry about this huge blurb, but I gotta say one more thing... I don't own Naruto. Okay I lied, two more. THANK YOU REVIEWERS! I LOVE YOU!
Alright, let's get crackalackin!
"Were you in a fight?" Konan asked bluntly as soon as Deidara and Sasori came close enough to hear her.
The breeze ruffled their hair, bringing the briny ocean scent with it. Konan wrapped her arms around her stomach, and wished that her dressing gown reached her feet, shivering.
She stared in disbelief at Sasori and Deidara's shirtless appearances, then took in the scrapes and bruises that covered Sasori's chest and neck. A lovely purplish bruise was blooming just over his eye, as well, and Konan looked at Deidara for an explanation.
"I wouldn't call it a fight, per se..." Sasori said, grinning at Deidara, who scowled at him, but bit back a grin as he turned away.
"Then... then..." Konan wanted to ask, 'Then, what did happen?', but the more she looked from one face (amused and teasing) to the other (bashful and embarrassed), the more she realized that she probably didn't want details.
"Alright. Okay." she said, and put her hands on her hips and turned away, starting back towards the house. Deidara and Sasori followed, mostly quiet except for a few muffled laughs.
"So, I'm glad you guys made up. I'm sorry, Sasori, for... for the.." Konan turned her head slightly so she could see his face, her lips framing the words that she was determined to say, but her voice refused to sound. He smiled easily.
"Relax, relax. I'd have done the same thing." he said, and Deidara and Konan snorted in unison.
"I find that very hard to believe." she muttered, and the sound of Sasori's laughter from behind her told her that she was right.
"Where are the others? Where's our tearful 'Welcome back' party?" Sasori asked snippily, just as Konan tripped slightly on a rock.
"They got bored of waiting for you," she said, her arms out like an airplane as she re-balanced herself. "So they went out for a game of pool, or something."
"And they left you here?" Deidara asked, secretly amused by Konan's bent-double airplane stance.
Konan nodded, "That's right. I've been feeling a little sick-"
"From guilt?" Sasori asked, and Konan directed a kick behind her that caught him on the shin.
"No, I've just been feeling off colour, that's all. But... yes, guilt, too." she admitted.
"Then, that was a completely undeserved act of violence!" Sasori protested, laughing breathlessly as the slope they were marching up increased.
"Was it this steep before?" he asked, pausing and looking back the way they'd come.
"No, but the beach path is flooded. The tide's up." Konan explained, and Deidara and Sasori gave a chorus of groans.
"What babies..." Konan murmured to herself, smiling.
Ten minutes later, they were all flopped down on the floor of the living room in Pain's house, with glasses of chocolate milk on the table nearby.
"When are we going to school?" Konan asked from one end of the room.
"Hopefully, never, un." Deidara replied from the bit of carpet by the sofa.
"Next week. It starts on Wednesday, but we should get there a few days ahead to unpack and stuff. New dorms this year, I think. Weren't they talking about a renovation?" Sasori spoke up from over by the telly. Upon hearing noncommittal grunts from both Konan and Deidara, Sasori rolled his eyes before rolling onto his stomach and glancing at them.
"I think they were. Shizune mentioned last year that they're adding more rooms to the girl's hall, so we won't have the same problem we had last year..." he grinned at Konan, who glared at him.
"I like how I'm no longer your friend, or even human. I'm just 'a problem'. Very nice." she grumbled, and he winked at her.
"Well, you're trouble. And a girl, which is just alien, considering that most of your friends... are gay." he said, pausing theatrically before the last two words. Konan laughed and rolled over, contorting herself so that she could see the others more easily.
"You know, now that I think about it... do you think that it's better that I ended up rooming with a load of gays than with a load of...er... normal guys? Not that you're abnormal..." she backtracked, rubbing her eyes as she tried to fight off exhaustion as well as a stab of nausea which had suddenly pounced upon her.
"Nice. Well, it depends. If they were assholes, you might have been gangbanged in the night. Or they might have been... normal, and you'd just have less-awesome friends, un." Deidara piped up from her left. Konan smiled slightly, and nodded before laughing.
"Right! You know, I really shouldn't have any problems in life, considering that I have at least five Sassy Gay Friends." she said with a smirk. Sasori and Deidara laughed, and then once again they all did synchronized rolls on the blue carpet, curling up in the silence that blanketed the naturally-lit room.
Konan looked up at the ceiling, then out through the skylight at the powder blue sky. She sat up as an uneasy feeling swept over her stomach, and the movement caused the room to spin. She breathed deeply through her nose, biting down on her lips as she felt sicker than she had in a long time.
/
"Konan, are you okay?"
"Did you just...throw up?"
"Are you sick?"
"She threw up just before you guys came back, too, un."
Konan breathed deeply and wiped her mouth. She flushed the toilet and washed her hands and face before looking up into the mirror above the sink. Her reflection looked back at her, pallid and tired-looking. She opened the door.
"I think I'm sick." she said, embarrassed under the stares of all her friends and Pain's family.
"Ya think?" Annie exclaimed before Yahiko shot her a look.
"You should lie down, then." he said, and she nodded before excusing herself and walking back to Pain's room. She knew he was right behind her, but she didn't speak until they were both flopped down on her bed. She felt very nauseous, and her head was throbbing as it always did after she threw up.
Pain rolled over and placed his hand on her forehead. It felt wonderfully cool against her hot skin, and she closed her eyes and smiled very slightly.
"Don't move that, please." she asked quietly.
"You have a fever, don't you?" he asked, and she shrugged.
"I guess. I've been feeling sick for a while, though." Pain sat up and looked at her, worry on his face.
"Do you think you've caught something?" he asked, concerned. Konan waved her hand.
"No, no. I'm sure it'll pass. I'll sleep it off. I have to get better, anyways. School starts next week, and I wouldn't want to miss that." she said sarcastically, and yawned.
"Okay." Pain said, and lay down again, keeping his hand on her forehead.
"Can you grab me a pillow? It kinda hurts to lie flat." Konan said after a few minutes.
"Sure."
Two weeks later, they'd successfully left Pain's house (after a party and a big thank-you to Yahiko for everything), and they'd moved back into the school. Sasori had been right, and renovations had been made. Most of them were updates to the showers and lunch facilities, but the Girls' dorm had indeed been updated, which gave Konan an unhappy surprise.
"That's right." Shizune repeated, rocking back on the heels of her black Mary Janes. "This year, there are more then enough rooms in the Girls' dorms for you to sleep there. Those are the rules, and last year was only an exception because we didn't have the facilities to accommodate you properly. This year is different, so no ands ifs or buts, you're staying with the girls." she said briskly, then marched off, leaving Konan with her jaw dropped.
"Tough fuck, babe." Hidan said, clamping a large hand down on her shoulder.
"Actually, it's supposed to be 'tough luck', Hidan." Itachi corrected, walking past with his suitcase.
"Yeah, whatever." Hidan muttered as he steered Konan towards the lunch room.
"I'm not hungry..." she murmured, but no sound came out, so she didn't bother to protest more as they sta down together, meeting Pain and Deidara, who were at the table already. The others gradually trickled in as they finished unpacking, and they started to laugh and talk loudly as they ate until the news of Konan's official re-location silenced them all.
"This sucks ass." Kisame said, picking his teeth gloomily.
"Got that right... where are you going?" Pain asked as Konan stood up and clambered over the bench.
"I've got to... ask Tsunade something." Konan said, not quite lying, and she slipped out of the lunch hall. As soon as she was out, she walked as quickly as she could around the corner, and pressed herself against the cool, stone wall, clutching her stomach and bending double, fighting the urge to be sick.
It passed relatively quickly, for once, and she slid down the wall, seriously considering crying. She didn't want to, and didn't mean to, but she couldn't help a few tears escaping. This shocked her, because she was normally relatively steady, not usually one to cry over a simple stomach flu. Because, of course, that's all that was wrong with her.
She knocked on the door of Tsunade's office. It opened under her hand, and she pushed it open, surprised and a little nervous; Tsunade always made sure that whether or not she was there, the door was always firmly shut.
"Miss Tsunade?" she asked uncertainly, looking around the room. It seemed that she'd been redecorating: the sea greens and calming blues of the office were gone, replaced by leather chairs, dark red walls, and black carpeting. Konan had just decided that she disliked the change when a man she'd never seen before stepped silently out of an office.
"Yes? Are you a student?" he asked, his voice a little scratchy, but generally low and pleasant. Konan blinked in confusion before she realized that because of her... less-than-adolescent appearance, he'd mistaken her for a visiting parent, or something.
"Yes, I'm in sixth year. Do you know where Miss Tsunade is? I wanted to ask her something." she said, a little sharply, despite herself. She tried to sound nicer, and ended up sounding as though she'd got a head cold.
"I'm just wondering if she's available..." she ended her sentence awkwardly as the man drifted towards her, walking silently on the black carpet. Now that he was closer, Konan realized that he wasn't nearly as young as his voice had led her to believe. He was quite old, with large bags under his eyes, and dull black hair, that looked as though it had been cut in the dark.
"You will no longer find Tsunade in this office," he began, his hands behind his back, the starched collar of his black shirt poking into the yellowy skin of his neck. He looked as though he didn't get enough sun; not a pale complexion, but a rather sallow one.
"I'm...what?" Konan asked, not quite being coherent as she took in this odd man. He seemed as slippery as a snake, for reasons unknown to her. He spoke slowly, enunciating every word, as though he relished every syllable that slipped from his flapping, thin lips.
"She has been demoted. I am the new headmaster of this school, Mr. Uchiha." he said, extending a wrinkled, yellowish hand towards Konan, who unwillingly took it, her insides squirming as she felt that his hand was wet. She discreetly wiped her hand on the back of her jeans when he released it. Mr. Uchiha gave her a little smile, showing his tiny yellowed teeth.
"Tsunade has replaced the previous school nurse, who has recently retired. You may find her in the office four doors down from my own. Good day." he said, his low, scratchy voice now much more unappealing in Konan's mind. She thanked him quickly and raced out of the office as fast as her feet would carry her, not caring about the nausea that surged inside of her.
She raced through the door to the nurse's office, and found Tsunade sitting on the desk, talking with Shizune, who was holding a pig, that Konan recognized as Tsunade's pet.
"Konan! You surprised me." Tsunade said, making a 'hush' motion at Shizune, who shut up immediately.
"Hi! How... how are you?" Konan asked, jumping slightly as the door shut with a click behind her. Tsunade rolled her eyes and glared at the ceiling. She somehow seemed much younger, and more immature now that she was stripped of most of her authority.
"How do you think? I've got mister wrinkles in my office, and I'm stuck in this shitty four-feet by four-feet dump!" she complained, kicking over a chair, which Shizune soon righted, putting Tonton down on the ground. Konan smiled at the little pig, who trotted around, snuffling, and then remembered why she was there.
"You're the... you're the nurse, now, right?" she asked tentatively, very aware that this was clearly a touchy subject. Tsunade crossed her arms, trying to retain a shred of dignity, despite the pout that refused to leave her expression. "...Yes." Konan took a deep breath.
"Well, could you help me? I've been feeling a bit sick..." Konan began, tugging restlessly at her sleeves.
"Well, I might as well." Tsunade said grumpily, shooing Shizune and Tonton out of the way, and instructed Konan to lie down on the table.
"I feel like a corpse..." Konan confessed, trying to ignore the strange discomfort she felt while lying flat.
"Yeah, I know, right? 'Insufficient funds' my arse, they're just cheap..." Tsunade muttered, whipping a clipboard out of a drawer and clicking a pen impatiently.
"Alright, tell me how you feel." she said, raising her pen expectantly. Konan sighed.
"Well..."
Ten minutes later, Konan thanked Tsunade and Shizune, and walked out the door, not necessarily feeling better, but not feeling worse, either. Tsunade shut the door behind her, and put the clipboard down. Shizune read it over, then raised her eyes to her Mistress. Tsunade raised her eyebrows, and Shizune bit her lip.
"Do you..."
"I think so. I do." Shizune and Tsunade's gazes returned to the closed door, both thinking the same thing. Tonton snorted and shook his head, waggling his piggy ears.
/
"Did you hear? Sasuke's gone!"
"What?"
"He dropped out! He did!"
"Why?"
"Who knows? I'd ask his brother, but... he's kind of intimidating, you know?"
Konan listened in on the conversation of two now-fifth years behind her, intrigued and amused by their description of Itachi.
"Ooh, I know, right? Do all the Uchihas have such cold stares, or is it just them?"
"Who knows... but did you hear about the new Headmaster?"
"What are you talking about? I saw Tsunaboobs walking down the hall, just ten minutes ago!"
"Yeah, but she's been demoted!" The girl who seemed to know it all continued on, clearly relishing the way she was domineering the conversation.
"Everybody's talking about it. It's all over the school! Some relative of Sasuke's... who knows how they're related, that old bag... Anyways, he's taken over! I heard he's some kind of admin rep, who's been put in charge of the school! Tsunade's just the nurse, now!"
"Seriously? That's so crazy!"
Konan silently agreed with the second girl.
"Yeah, I know!" the first girl said, in a rather naughty voice, which Konan found rather inappropriate for the subject. "But did you hear... about the other thing?"
"What?"
"Everybody's talking about it. There's this huge thing, it's super scandalous..."
Konan never found out what was 'super scandalous'. The two fifth years turned left down a different corridor, leaving Konan to mull over what they'd said as she marched herself to origami class. She hadn't quite meant to eavesdrop, but they'd been talking about something that interested her, and they had been quite loud, which made it difficult to not listen.
She pushed open the door to origami, and apologized for being late.
"It's fine, Konan, it's fine, but... d'you think you could just drop this off at the office? It's the attendance." Kurenai said, handing her a paper. Konan nodded, and left again.
Origami was on the complete opposite side of the school to the office, so the walk gave Konan quite a bit of time to mull over what she'd heard about the new Headmaster from Tsunade and the two fifth years.
It seems odd that such a change would have occurred without any forewarning given to the students, Konan thought vaguely, but hey, what do I know about administrators and education stuff? It's probably fine.
There was a funny sloshing sound and a muttering to her left, and she turned in surprise to see a very, very strange man shuffling his feet along the hallway, sliding a mop on the floor. Although it had never occurred to her that the school had a janitor, she supposed that it must, despite her never having seen any kind of custodian at work before.
This guy was wearing a grey jumpsuit, the kind you expect a retired Ghostbuster to wear, and he was moving so slowly that at first glance, Konan was sure that he had to be quite old. When she got a better look, however, she realized that he didn't look particularly old at all. Just weird.
He was talking to himself, muttering unintelligible things under his breath, and the moment she realized this, Konan began to walk again, brisker than before, zooming away from the strange man.
Once she got to the office, she slipped the attendance sheet into the labeled box outside the office door, and turned around. She had just started to return to her class when she met Tsunade, who was carrying a paper bag, and had her forehead creased in a tiny frown.
"Oh, Konan, good. I need to give this to you." she said, handing the bag to her. Konan fumbled with it, surprised, and looked up at her ex-Headmistress.
"Er...what is it?" she asked, tempted to look in it, but Tsunade said 'Don't look at it now'.
"Why?" Konan asked, getting more and more confused. Tsunade cleared her throat and put her hands on her hips, as if she was trying to seem more assertive. Perhaps she felt that the white coat she now wore, as the nurse, held slightly less authority than the green, robe-like one she'd worn as the Head of the school.
"Because I told you to. After you came and talked to me about how you were feeling sick and things, I thought that at the very least, this might answer some of your questions. After you're done with it, please come back and see me." she said, and turned away and left before Konan could say anything other than "Uh..?"
A few seconds later, Konan turned around, and walked back to class. She passed the janitor on her way, and after glancing at him on her way, she frowned, wondering if it was just the lighting, or... Or was one half of his body... more shadowy, more...dark than the rest of him? She shook her head, ignoring the swoop of nausea, and pushed the door of her class open, the brown paper bag clutched in her hand, hidden behind her uniform's skirt.
Four classes and two meals later, Konan pushed open the door to her new room.
"Welcome home..." she muttered to herself morosely, as she looked around the tiny space. She was sharing the little 'flat' as one of her roommates had called it, with four other sixth-year girls.
Konan wondered how she had spent a year together with these girls, and she still had no idea who they were. Their names were quite mainstream, and easily slipped out of her mind. Konan reddened as she shoved her suitcase in the room and remembered how she'd called one of them 'Britney' by mistake. Her name was actually Syndey. Close enough, right? They sound similar.
After unpacking all her clothes and toiletries, as well as several pounds of origami paper and miscellaneous supplies, she flopped down on her bed, which was smaller and much less comfortable than the one she'd had last year. Konan rolled over and gloomily reminisced on the first day of school the year before, when she'd been convinced that rooming with boys would be the darkest pit of hell.
In fact, compared to this dump, Konan thought, glancing briefly at the bad paint job on the Neanderthal's-ass colored room, it was perfect. It was...
And then she thought of all the fun times she'd had with her friends... when she'd been caught showering by Deidara, playing Truth or Dare, her birthday, Halloween, dancing with Hidan, dodgeball, Christmas, New Year's, finding a used condom in Deidara and Sasori's... no. That wasn't pleasant. Konan thought sternly, but she couldn't help but grin nonetheless.
She rolled over again, nearly falling off the skinny bed, and tried to muffle out the sounds of her roommates' voices with her pillow. She closed her eyes and deluded herself into thinking that she might be asleep, but she was roughly jolted out of her 'dream' when very familiar voices began talking loudly in her room.
"Hey, this room is total crap!"
"Jeez, why'd they make you move? It's not like you were a problem..."
"Oh my God, what's this paint colour? Neanderthal's-ass?"
Konan sat up and grinned at her friends, who were all crowded into her tiny room, looking around or else sitting on the bed, talking.
"Hey! Since when are guys allowed in the girls' hall?" she asked, pretending to be stern, and Hidan rolled his eyes.
"Get that stick out of your ass, babe. Where's fun Konan?" he asked, pretending to look around for 'her'.
"Shut up," she said with a smile, tugging his sleeve, but her attention quickly switched to Pain, who was leaning on the doorframe, watching her.
He crooked a finger at her, and she nodded, sliding out of bed and escaping the huddle of her friends, who were now discussing whether the paint was more Neanderthal or Homoerectus-esque. Pain and Konan left the room, and walked out down the girls' hall, heading for the main corridor.
"Hey there!" Konan said, quite belatedly, looping her arm around Pain's. He grinned at her.
"That's a tad late." he said, with a dash of sarcastic emphasis as he took her hand and gave it a soft squeeze. She smiled and kissed his shoulder.
"I don't want to stay with the girls." she confessed with a sigh. Pain nodded, unable to refrain from teasing her despite the unhappy situation.
"Aw, poor Konan, wants to hang out with the gay guys." he said in a babyish voice. Konan clicked her tongue and gave him a sharp poke.
"Quiet. But yes, I do. I don't know any of the girls, and we had so much fun last year... and just think, if I hadn't stayed with you guys last year, we might never have ended up... together, you know?" she said, pushing some loose hair out of her eyes. Pain nodded, but said nothing. He raised a hand and lightly stroked her hair, brushing the paper flower in it as he did.
"Yeah... But, hey, that's not what I wanted to talk about. The mood's getting all gloomy." he complained as they pushed the double doors, exited the girls' hall, and turned left.
"Well, what did you want to talk about?" Konan asked as they passed a tiny group of first years.
"Nice melons, sweetie!" One of them called out. Pain and Konan simultaneously turned around, their expressions equally amused, but Konan's had a rather irritated impression. The boy who had spoken turned red, and scurried away, with his two friends jeering and laughing.
"For goodness' sake." Konan murmured with a sigh. Pain stopped and leaned against the wall. Konan felt his tug on her hand, and turned around to see him smiling at her, looking rather wicked, for reasons unknown to her.
"What?" she asked as he pulled her to him.
He kissed the tip of her nose, still smiling, and put a finger to his lips. She watched him, smiling herself, as he brought his hands to the ends of her hair, tugging on it gently, thoughtfully, then slid his fingers down her neck to her collarbones, then to the hem of her shirt.
"Do you think," he began, his voice quieter than usual, as if he were trying to speak only to her in a crowded room, "that after we graduate school..."
He took his time getting to the point, and Konan wondered if he was nervous, or if he was just being dramatic. However, the way his hands slid down over her curves left her with the rather amused impression that he was just getting distracted.
Konan's breathing hitched slightly as his fingers lightly traced circles over her hips before sliding one hand further and grabbing her ass with a small smirk which changed to a quizzical expression as he continued his sentence.
"...you'd like to come and live with me?" he asked, meeting her gaze. Konan blinked.
"You mean... where?" she asked, stunned. Pain grinned.
"In a house." he said, and her eyes widened.
"You mean, like... a house... for us? Our house?" she asked, her voice rising to a squeak as the enormity of the question finally slammed down on her.
Pain nodded, and Konan silently congratulated him for looking her in the eyes the whole time; it must have been a rather difficult thing to do, considering that her shift in expressions must have resembled those of a cat having its tail stepped on.
"Like... you're asking me to move in with you?" she asked, her attempt at a lower octave failing completely. Pain laughed, and shook her shoulders lightly.
"Yes, yes!" he said, unable to stop himself from laughing at her expression.
"Will you?" he asked, covering his smile with one hand. Konan was bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet, and with one excited 'Yes! Yes, yes, please!', she had seized him in a tight hug, both of them laughing.
"Sorry to break up this little moment, but I'd like to speak to you, young man." a rather scratchy yet pleasant voice said in a dry tone. Konan and Pain broke apart, and looked at the new Headmaster in surprise.
"Me?" Pain asked, and Mr Uchiha nodded, smiling slightly in a way that made it look as though he were wincing.
"Yes, and it's quite important, so I'd prefer our chat to take place sooner rather than later." he said.
"Right. Alright.." Pain said, disentangling himself from Konan, giving her a private smile as he did so.
"See you later." he said, and Konan smiled at him and waved, watching as the two men walked away from her. She turned to return to her new room, but took a moment to jump up and down and celebrate silently; she officially was going to move in with her boyfriend.
Four minutes later, she was sitting on her bed, surrounded by boys.
"No way!" Kisame said, obviously joking; he had known it before she had, but he amused himself by imitating an excited tween girl.
"I know! I know, I'm so..." Konan said, smiling as she tried to think of an appropriate adjective.
"Happy?" Hidan suggested from his place at the foot of her bed.
"Excited?" Deidara suggested from her left.
"Horny?" Sasori suggested from next to Deidara.
"Yes!" Konan said happily before realizing what the last one had been. She glared at Sasori as the others laughed.
"No." she said pointedly. He grinned.
"Yeah, you are. I bet I know why he asked you to move in with him: more privacy. Alone time." he said, wiggling his fingers in the air. Konan's pillow met his face, and he shut up as the others laughed.
"So that's good... Hey, Itachi, did Sasuke leave the school?" Konan asked, suddenly remembering the conversation she'd overheard in the morning. Itachi glanced up at her. He was sitting on her chair, his knees tucked up to his chin, looking quite sombre, as he normally did.
"Yes." he said quietly, and Konan sensed that it must be a rather sensitive topic.
"Oh..." was all she could think to say; she didn't want to press it, but she was pretty curious. Luckily, Hidan, who has absolutely no sense of 'reading the mood' asked the question she wanted to.
"So, did he just go up to the Head, and say 'Fuck this, I'm outta here'?" Hidan asked bluntly. Itachi looked at him, his expression rather amused. Probably he was inwardly laughing at Hidan's total lack of social refinement.
"Not really, but yes, in a way. He said that this school wasn't 'doing anything' for him, or something like that. I'm not sure what he's doing now, but we'll meet up every so often to talk and things." Itachi smirked at that point.
"His many admirers are, naturally, heartbroken. I overheard two girls at lunch, talking about it. One was crying, and the other one said, 'It's okay! You can borrow my body pillow, it's practically the same thing! Only it's squishy!" Konan stifled a snort of laughter, as did most of the others.
"So, what are we going to do about this? Your room?" Deidara asked, turning to Konan, who shrugged.
"I don't know, honestly. Maybe I could sneak out at night, and-"
"Become a bed intruder?" Sasori interrupted, ruining the conversation as everyone chorused, "He's climbin' through your windows, he's snatchin' your people up, tryna rape 'em, so you need to hide your kids, hide your wife, hide your kids, hide your wife, hide your kids, hide your wife... And hide your husband, 'cuz they rapin' everybody out here."
A while later, the guys all trooped back to their own dorm, and Konan finally got around to opening the brown paper bag Tsunade had given her. A little packet with instructions fell out when she tipped the bag upside down on her bed. Konan read the instructions first.
The first words she saw were in German, so she flipped the paper over.
French. Better, but not by much.
She turned it upside down.
English. Good.
The first two words she saw this time made her choke on her breath.
Four minutes later, she was in the bathroom. Once again, she wished she was in her old room, which had a bathroom attached to it. This year, she apparently would have to walk all the way down the girls' hall into a large tiled room which was rather like the shower and toilet section at a swimming pool.
She shut herself into one of the stalls, and re-read the instructions, her mind still whizzing like a merry-go-round on steroids. She completed steps 1 and 2 before turning red in the face from humiliation while doing step 3. Step 4 was okay, because it was just waiting, but Step 5 was the one she had been dreading the whole time.
A plus.
A motherfucking pink plus.
Konan flushed the toilet, and stuffed everything back into the brown paper bag. She walked steadily to the sink, washed her hands, wishing she could wash her hands of the whole thing, and caught a glimpse of her face in the mirror. She didn't even know how to describe her expression. She couldn't think: she realized that her mind was completely blank, and tried to think of something to think about, but absolutely couldn't.
As though her brain was a whiteboard that was completely erased, and all the pens were out of ink. She walked back to her room, flung the brown paper bag down with an unexpected violence and sense of betrayal. She flopped down on her bed, and tried to shut out the conversations of Britney and Chloe, or whoever the hell was next door.
The next morning, before breakfast, Konan was running along the hallway, interrupted only by one instance of dry-heaving, heading for the nurse's office. Her newly decorated uniform didn't feel as comfortable as last year's -mostly due to the style change (instead of a collared shirt and pinafore, this year they had a collared shirt, a sweater-vest, and a plaid skirt. The sweater-vest quickly became the most-hated item in the school.)- and she was severely tempted to remove the heinous sweater-vest.
She knocked briskly on the door, and Shizune, who was wearing a thick pink bathrobe, swung it open.
"Konan? Jeez, you're here early..." she said with a yawn, Tonton in her arms.
"Sorry, but I really want to talk to Tsunade." Konan said, and something about her expression seemed to unnerve Shizune, because she stared at her for a second before blinking a few times and clearing her throat, letting Konan in.
"Right, right. Here..." It was clear that Shizune had yet to get used to the fact that she no longer worked in a spacious office, and Konan wondered vaguely if she might be claustrophobic; she kept looking at the corners of the room suspiciously, shifting from foot to foot. Tsunade was sitting at the tiniest table in the history of the world, a steaming cup of coffee in her hands. She was looking at it as if it was the most beautiful thing she'd ever set eyes on.
"Konan, you're here. Right." she said, nodding, but not taking her eyes off the coffee. Konan sat down in the only vacant chair. "Um, Tsunade-" she began, but Tsunade interrupted her.
"Did you... take the..."
"Yeah. I did." Konan said, saving her ex-Headmistress from saying the words out loud. She swallowed, and fisted and unfisted her hands restlessly.
"I did." she repeated, and Shizune glanced at her, a little concerned.
"It was just a precaution, just in case, we didn't want to worry, but just in case-" she began saying quickly, but Konan interrupted her.
"Positive." It was almost a whisper, like she was too ashamed of the word to allow herself to voice it properly. Tsunade gazed at her steadily.
"Alright. And how do you feel?" she asked after a long pause; she had done this sort of thing more than once, and she knew that it took a long time for the truth to settle in. Konan looked at her, unaware that there were tears on her cheeks.
"I feel a little freaked out." she admitted, smiling, as she wiped her eyes. Tsunade nodded, and Shizune began to make her some hot chocolate.
"That is normal. It may be too early to ask you this, but I just want you to start thinking about it. What do you think you'll do?" Tsunade asked gently. Konan thanked Shizune and sipped the mug of hot chocolate gratefully. As she thought about Tsunade's question, she put the mug down and shook her head, looking out the tiny excuse for a window at the grey sky.
"I don't know." she said, feeling as though those words were the most truthful ones she'd spoken in her whole life. Tsunade nodded, and took a gulp from her coffee.
"Right. Well, to start off, I'll have to ask you some questions." she said, nodding at Shizune, who brought over a clipboard and pen.
"Do you know who the father is?" she asked, meeting Konan's gaze. Konan nodded.
"Yes. Um... is it okay to say, though? Will he get in trouble?" she asked. Tsunade's pretty, pink mouth turned up in a small smile.
"I think I can guess who the father might be, if you think he'd get in trouble... Well, I won't give him any trouble, but I can't speak for the Headmaster. However, depending on your decisions, we might ask him to come in, just to ask routine questions and things." she said, and Konan nodded, and noticed with a small grin of amusement that when Tsunade said 'Headmaster', her expression and tone turned rather sour.
"Alright, then. It's Pain." she said quietly, the amusement from just moments ago fading away as the sadness and frustration returned. Tsuande nodded, and jotted that down on her paper.
"Okay. Now, the test you took was basically a yes-or-no one, but for medical purposes, we need to know when it happened. I realize that this is embarrassing to answer -and ask, for that matter-, but when exactly do you think this happened?" Tsunade asked, and as expected, Konan flushed slightly.
"...Right. I think... I think near the beginning of August. But... but this doesn't make sense!" she frowned, and looked up at Tsunade.
"We used a condom!" Konan knew that she had probably just said the same thing that thousands of women had said before her. Tsunade nodded.
"Yes, but they only work about 97% of the time." she said, writing something else down on the clipboard. Konan's memory immediately brought forth an image of Ross and Rachel saying the exact same things, on a Friends episode. Konan lowered her eyes to her hot chocolate, and took another sip, holding the warm mug in her hands. It was oddly comforting.
"And... are you going to tell the father? It's your decision, and it may depend on whether or not you choose to keep the baby, but it's something to think about." Tsunade said, and Konan suddenly felt a rush of admiration for Tsunade. Perhaps it was an inappropriate reaction to the situation, but it felt right.
She sighed, her breath dissipating the steam that continued to waft up over the edge of the ceramic mug of hot chocolate.
"I don't know," she confessed honestly.
"Well, of course it's your decision, but," Shizune spoke up from behind her, "I think... well, I've known Pain for quite a few years, since I came here... I think he'd understand. I think it would be okay." she said in a quiet voice, knowing that she was probably saying something she shouldn't. Konan let her words sink in, and nodded silently, but she was still unsure.
"Well, I think we ought to give you a break, at least. Here's some medication for the morning sickness, if it gets worse. Don't take any over-the-counter stuff, because it might be harmful. If you run out, just come back here. In fact, come back if you have any kind of problems whatsoever, okay? And even if you don't, come in for a check-up at least once a week, okay?" Tsunade said, handing over a little bottle of pills and a page of instructions and frequently-asked-questions. Konan nodded dumbly, putting them both in the pocket of her skirt.
"Okay. Um..." she said, finishing her drink and standing up slowly, wary of potential dizziness. Shizune and Tsunade smiled at her.
"Um, what if I get sick in class? And will the Headmaster be told about this? I don't want people to know..." she said, surprised as her eyes filled with tears again. Shizune nodded understandingly.
"We won't tell the Headmaster, because our patients' information is classified, and if you get sick in class, just tell them you feel sick, and come right here. We'll give them a note later, explaining that you have the flu, or something like that. Don't worry, Konan. We're here for you." she said reassuringly, and with a final nod and a weak smile, Konan tottered out of the office.
Unable to concentrate during breakfast or any of her classes, she retreated back to her room after feigning illness to all her teachers. She stripped off the awful sweater-vest, and wrapped a blanket around herself before sitting on her bed.
She wondered if she should go back to class, but the thought of having to face Pain (who was in almost all of her classes) while she was still so confused and unsure of what to do freaked her out. She folded a couple complicated origami horses, then gave up and shuffled out of the dorm, headed for the communal computer at the end of the large hall.
There were only a few girls around, and most of them were talking in little groups, so there was no line for the computer. Konan switched it on, not sure what she was going to search, but as soon as the Google homepage appeared, her fingers moved automatically, typing in Teenage Pregnancy.
Most of the websites she found were complete shit, or else they had headlines like, 'Why are teenage pregnancy rates soaring? Is it suddenly cool to ruin your life?' or 'Pregnant teens are just sluts with demons in their stomachs' . Not exactly uplifting, to say the least.
Konan took a deep breath and instead searched for 'I'm pregnant, what should I do?' A rather lame and vague search, of course, but it gave her a little nicer outlook on the whole thing. She found a question site, and browsed down through the conversations.
Some were 21, and wondering how to tell their parents, others were 19, wondering how to tell their boyfriends... and several were under 15 years old. Konan took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Before... this... she would have judged them quite harshly. Even now, she felt like calling them stupid and reckless. But she didn't feel like she was allowed to, anymore.
Not now. Not now that she was in an almost identical situation.
Three hours later, classes ended. Konan pulled her pink Winnie the Pooh hoodie on and some sweatpants, and walked barefoot to the Boys' dorms. She didn't care that she was no longer authorized to be in there, and it wasn't like anybody would tell on her. She counted down the sets of rooms, admiring the new artwork that adorned the doors (a golden dragon, a large shiny eye, an open mouth with a bright red tongue, and Darth Vader in a Marilyn Monroe pose, to name a few.), until she got to two sets of doors with little silver sixes on the doorframes.
The one on the left had a large pop-art version of Mick Jagger (when he was young, of course) in his red and black striped pants, while the one on the right had a kangeroo wearing a 60s dress in the middle of a battlefield. Konan raised her eyebrows before pushing that door open. The others weren't back from classes yet, so she wasn't worried about coming across any of them doing...stuff.
She pushed open Pain's door, recognizing it by A) his name on a sign, and B) the Johnny Bravo poster. She walked forwards, recognizing a lot of the stuff from last year, and flopped down on his bed. It smelled of him.
Pain came into the room ten minutes later, and found her curled into a little ball, holding his pillow.
"Why weren't you in class today?" he murmured as he took her into his arms and kissed the top of her head. Konan leaned against him gratefully. She was surprised at how happy his presence made her: she thought it would have been awkward, considering that she knew and he didn't, but it was reassuring.
"I didn't feel very well." she said, and he clicked his tongue.
"Aw, do you think it's the same thing you had before?" he asked, and Konan smiled down at her knees, rubbing her nose on his sweater-vest.
"Yes. I think so." she replied, and he patted her head.
"Oh, poor thing." he said comfortingly, and Konan looked up at him. His smile didn't falter, but looked a little confused.
"You look..." he began, and she raised her eyebrows at him. He laughed and finished, "Your eyes are in the streets." Konan frowned, then laughed.
"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked, sitting back, letting Pain have more legroom. He moved next to her, grinning as he explained.
"Sasori says it sometimes. He's convinced that it's a common phrase, but I'm not so sure. According to him, it means that you're thinking about something else." Konan laughed at the definition, and took Pain's hand, linking their fingers before holding them up to look at them with an odd kind of curiosity.
To Pain, it looked like she was just watching them as she thought, but Konan somehow felt that if she studied them long enough, if she understood everything about the way their fingers were connected, twined around each other in a way that brought their hands together, she might understood why things like getting pregnant by mistake happen.
Why anything unplanned happens.
They sat together in absolute silence for a long time.
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"So," Konan took a deep breath before continuing.
She had more or less dragged Sasori, Itachi, and Deidara to her room to have a little 'talk', not because they were the only ones she felt comfortable telling at this point, but because out of all her friends, besides Kisame, who was unavailable, they were the ones least likely to either let it slip at lunch or to give her some kind of big lecture, or harsh judgment. Plus, they were the only ones around.
"So, are you ever going to tell us why you dragged us to your room in the middle of the night?" Sasori asked in a bored drawl, staring at the ceiling. Konan pointed her flashlight directly at him, making him wince and shut up.
"Okay, we've got to be really quiet, because Britney and Christina might wake up if we're loud." she said in a whisper, and Deidara nodded in the darkness. Itachi was brushing his hair. It was about midnight or so, and (in theory) the rest of the school was asleep.
"Okay, this is really, really important." she said, looking from one boy to the other.
Deidara looked rather intense and interested (except he kept twisting his hair around his finger, which made him seem a tad distracted), and Sasori looked bored and tired, aside from his eyes, which were bright in the relative darkness. Itachi, meanwhile, looked mildly interested, but he also looked quite sleepy. As Konan tried to figure out what to say, she nervously clicked the flashlight on and off, until Deidara took it away.
"Okay. You two will be the very first people to know this, besides myself, Shizune, and Tsunade. That means that you must not tell anybody! Okay? Nobody at all." she stressed, trying to impress upon them the importance of absolute secrecy. Her friends nodded, and Sasori looked slightly more interested. His expression was now mildly intrigued.
"Now, this is very, very hard for me to do. I'm not even sure if I should be telling you this, but... but I honestly really have to. Because I need somebody to talk to about this, okay? So... so please don't freak out, and please... please..." she fell silent.
She felt an unreasonable urge to fling her arms around them, and never let them go. Because she wasn't sure that they wouldn't just abandon her if she told them the most shameful and difficult thing she'd encountered in her whole life.
"Keep your hair on, and just tell us." Sasori said impatiently, and Konan rolled her eyes, crossing her legs. The bed was piled high with blankets, but it was a chilly autumn, and the school's heating seemingly hadn't improved since the year before.
"Alright, alright. I'm... I have a... I'm pregnant."
There was a pause.
"Are you joking?" Sasori asked, laughing. Deidara shook his head.
"Although Konan has taken several stabs at humour in the past, I think she's serious." Itachi replied.
Deidara's jaw had dropped, and his vacant expression seemed to imply that it wasn't coming up any time soon. Konan looked from face to face. Sasori still seemed to think it was a joke, Deidara's was... zombified, and Itachi's was serious. Great combo, she thought with a touch of amusement.
"I am telling the truth, you know." she said, looking directly at Sasori, whose expression just became bemused.
"So... so there's a living thing inside you? A...a...a...a human baby?" Deidara choked out at long last, and Konan turned red, feeling a little ill at the thought.
"Uh...in theory, yes." she replied, and Sasori finally seemed to grasp that he wasn't dreaming, and nobody was joking. He turned very pale, and Konan hoped he wasn't going to faint or something.
"Now... what do you think I should do?" she asked, her voice cracking a little. Although they seemed to have taken the news reasonably well, she wasn't sure how their opinion of her would change now that they knew.
"Are you considering abortion, or... or are you going to keep it?" Itachi asked, and Konan was immediately sure that she'd made the right decision in bringing him. He was sensible, and he hadn't gotten angry, just as she'd thought. She bit her lip.
"I've been thinking about that... and I think that I ought to tell Pain before I make those kinds of dec-"
"Wait... you haven't told him?" Sasori asked. He was frowning, and looked shocked. Konan shook her head.
"I... I couldn't. I wanted to tell you first, because it was easier... I just wanted help." she tried to explain the helpless feeling that had consumed her since the decisive moment in the bathroom, but words failed her, and she fell silent.
Sasori looked rather disappointed in her, but Deidara spoke up, glaring at him.
"I know you think she should have told Pain first, but it's really hard! It's really hard to just go up and say 'hey there, I'm pregnant, how was breakfast?'! I personally think she's really brave to tell us, let alone consider having a baby, you know? Like... those are really hard things to consider, un! So don't get mad at her." he finished, giving Sasori a dark look before patting Konan's shoulder. She gave him a little smile. Sasori looked grumpy, and crossed his arms, but sighed.
"Sorry, then. I guess I didn't think about that." he offered his apology, and Konan smiled.
"It's okay." she said quietly, and looked at Itachi.
"So, I know that I should tell Pain. But... do you think he'll get mad at me?" she asked. Deidara looked confused.
"Why would he? It's his, right?" he asked suspiciously, and Sasori whacked his head lightly.
"Of course." Konan said with a little laugh, but then she shook her head.
"But it's hard. He'll... Like... we're really young to be having kids, and if it doesn't work out, then... then what? Then I'll be alone and then-"
"Okay, shut up, woman!" Sasori said, clamping a hand over her mouth. He looked at her seriously.
"Do you honestly think that Pain's the kind of guy to just let his girlfriend- the girlfriend he adores, by the way- have a baby, then ditch them both if things don't work out? No way. Besides, why do you think things won't work out? You guys never fight (which is pretty weird, by the way...), and didn't he ask you to move in with him?" he asked.
"Sasori has a point," Itachi brought up, and everyone looked at him.
"I've known Pain for quite a few years, and he's the kind of guy who's got it all planned out. He's probably already picked out all the names for your kids." he said with a grin, and Konan stared at him.
"But nevermind about that. Even if you two break up, and I highly doubt that that will ever happen, you won't be alone. You've got all of us, and Pain's family, to boot. Yahiko's pretty fond of you, so even if you and Pain split up, he'll make sure that you're fine." Konan nodded, feeling much more confident and reassured.
"Okay. Thank you, by the way," she said, smiling at the three boys who were crowded around the end of her bed. "Thanks for... for not getting mad, and for... and for..." she cursed herself as she started to cry. "Damnit..." she said in a watery voice as she rubbed his eyes. She wiped her face on the blanket, and got ahold of herself.
"Right, okay." she said, fanning herself.
"So, when are you going to tell him?" Deidara asked. Konan nodded in determination.
"Tomorrow. I think I should tell him as soon as possible." she said, and Itachi nodded in agreement. Sasori grinned at her, and put a hand on her stomach.
"So... can I be Godfather?" he asked, and Konan laughed.
"No way, you can't! You'd teach it to be a total pervert! I should be Godfather!" Deidara insisted, shoving Sasori's hand out of the way.
"Honestly, I'd think it would be safer if Itachi was Godfather..." Konan murmured, and Deidara scowled at her.
"Oh, we should be quiet!" she remembered, and they all said 'Good night!' in whispers.
/
The next morning, Konan woke up as a searing pain ran through her abdomin, and she rolled to one side and retched over the side of her bed. Thankfully, nothing came out, but that didn't stop the nausea from invading her stomach and staying there. She dragged herself over to her desk, and practically tore the bottle of pills open to get at them.
She read the instructions carefully while her stomach rolled and churned, poured a glass of water from her water bottle, and swallowed two of the white pills. After a few minutes, she felt quite a bit better, and made a mental note to 'chalk one up for Tsunade'. She pulled on her black tights, hoiked her skirt up around her waist, buttoned up the white collared shirt, and made a face as she pulled the black sweater-vest over her head.
She checked her reflection in the mirror she'd put up on one wall, and felt a little surge of pride as she looked at her handiwork; she'd embroidered two black 'K's with a blue butterfly on the cuffs of her white shirt, and she'd added the same blue butterflies all around the hem of her skirt. She hadn't touched the sweater-vest: it was a lost cause.
She grabbed her bag of toiletries, and sighed wistfully, thinking of last year's private bathroom as she marched morosely towards the communal ones at the end of the hall.
As she brushed her teeth and combed her hair, she couldn't get herself to stop worrying about what she was going to tell Pain. Stop worrying, she told herself firmly as she walked back to her room to drop off her stuff, grab her book, and go. If you worry, you'll just freak out more. So relax. Think of... think of relaxing things. Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...' With that in mind, Konan smiled as she grabbed her books and walked out the door.
Britney and Nina were just waking up, and she said 'Good morning' before leaving. She pushed the double doors to the Girls' hall, and found with satisfaction that Shizune had already been round to unlock them. She walked to the Boys' hall, walked through, and knocked on both the doors to the sixth year boys' rooms.
One of them opened immediately. Hidan was wearing absolutely nothing but a towel, which was very low on his hips. Konan, used to this by now, said 'Good morning', brushed past him, and knocked on Pain's door. He opened it after a few minutes, and smiled at her. It was clear by his messy hair and vague expression that he had only just woken up.
"Good morning', she said, kissing his cheek, and walked past. He followed her, and flopped back down on the bed. After a few minutes of mental preparation, Konan opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted by a loud snore.
"...You suck." Konan muttered, looking down at her sleeping boyfriend.
Another chance came and went at lunch, when Konan asked Pain for a private word, but then Hidan had tagged along, deliberately trying to annoy her, for some sadistic reason of his own. Two hours later, school was done, and Konan felt that finally, she would be able to tell him.
"Pain... can I talk to you for a second?" she asked, tapping him on the shoulder. He turned around and grinned. "Sure. Here, or?" Konan shook her head, glancing distastefully around the crowded hallway.
"Outside." she suggested, and he nodded, holding her hand as she led the way. Konan was glad he couldn't see her face as they walked: her expression was a little psychotic. Mostly because she was worried. They stopped by the stone wall at the front of the school.
The breeze was chilly, and Konan rubbed her arms up and down before unconsciously putting her arms around her stomach. She then caught herself thinking 'Better keep it warm', and shook her head in disbelief at herself. Crazy. Pain looked at her expectantly, leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets.
"So? What did you want to talk about?" he asked. Konan, not for the first time, admired his confidence: she knew that, generally, when a girlfriend or boyfriend says 'Can we talk?', or something along those lines, they tend to precede crap news, but Pain looked as casual as if she'd asked his favourite colour. She nodded, for no reason, and scuffed her Mary Janes in the grass.
"I... I need to tell you something really important. And... and you might get... upset, but... don't, okay?" she asked, looking at him pleadingly. He grinned.
"'You might get upset, but don't.' There goes my free will." he joked, but assumed a serious expression when Konan only smiled a little.
"Okay. Um... Okay, this is hard... uh... I...I'm...I'm..." "I'm a squirrel?" Pain suggested, and Konan laughed. "No, I'm not... but this is so hard to tell you!" she said, turning away and leaning against the wall with a sigh. He stepped closer and took her hand.
"It's better if you just tell me. I might think it's something really bad, like you've suddenly developed gingerphobia." Konan cracked a grin and shook her head.
"It's not that." She exhaled and looked at the sky, before looking at Pain.
"I'm pregnant."
AAAAAaaaand there it is!
Okay, to explain the title: Expecting the Unexpected!
Any guesses? Any of them? Any? Any ideas?
Well, the answer is that expecting is a synonym of pregnant, it's like you're expecting a baby. So... Konan's pregnant with something unexpected! She's pregnant with a surprise!
Okay, I thought it was genius. If you didn't... (sob) meanie! Kidding, kidding.
Please tell me what you think!