Courage
Sorry for the long update! SOOOOO SOOORRY! I was writing a book, which I'm almost done... but I swear the next update will not take as long! I really hope you like this chapter... I'm actually quite proud of it, but I have to admite there's a lot of talking and inner monologue... please tell me what you think!
I touch the place
Where I'd find your face
My fingers in creases
Of distant dark places
"I'm pregnant."
The words, so bluntly thrown out into the silence, hung there for a few minutes, like pirates in the noose, resonating in shocking finality.
Pain just stared at her, his jaw slightly open, his eyes wide. But he wasn't looking at her. He was looking, rather disconcertingly, into the middle-distance.
Konan watched him nervously for a few minutes before realizing that he wasn't quite there. She leaned against the wall and tapped his hand. He flinched, then looked at her. To say he looked 'freaked out' was an understatement.
"Are you..." Konan swallowed, not even sure if he would hear her if she spoke, "..okay?" she asked finally, and after what looked like thirty seconds' thought, he leaned against the wall next to her, only to push himself off and pace about for a bit.
"Yeah." he said finally, his hands in his pockets. He walked back and forth, occasionally glancing at her. His expression would vary from confused to disbelieving to accepting to downright terrified.
"Are you... how do you feel?" Konan asked carefully, linking her fingers tightly behind her back, to hide how afraid she was. Although she'd had some idea that Pain might freak out, she hadn't anticipated just how much it would make her worry.
Pain paused in his pacing for a second, only to restart again, running a hand through his hair, tugging at a piercing.
"I'm fine. I'm fine. You should be worrying about yourself, I mean-" he glanced at her again, and Konan felt a wave of hurt as she saw his eyes immediately flick from her face to her stomach.
"I'm not scared, you know. It's just a baby." she said scornfully, folding her arms across her chest, partly to show him that she wasn't having any of his pity, and partly because protection- of some form, any form- was what she wanted most in the world at that moment.
Pain met her eyes again, and this time held her gaze. He stopped pacing and stood still, facing her, his hands still in his pockets.
He had formed a cool mask of indifference to hide the emotions that she knew were still raging within him. The indifference hurt and angered her, but she knew that he was just judging how she felt about the situation. But I don't know that myself, she thought, and looked at her feet.
"It's just a baby." she repeated, this time in a whisper.
I won't cry, she thought viciously, her nails digging into her arms, still folded across her chest, I won't cry.
Something in her expression connected with Pain, and in two long strides he was there, holding her tightly, stroking her hair, and murmuring comforting nonsense in her ear as she broke down and cried into his shirt. For a while, there were no sounds but the wind in the leaves of the trees and Konan's muffled caterwauling, which died down after a bit until there was no more.
"Your thoughts?" Pain asked after a long silence, his tone controlled, his hand rubbing her back. Konan sniffed loudly, her arms tight around him, willing herself to never let go of him, no matter what.
"I don't know. I'm really scared." she admitted. He nodded, but grinned in spite of himself, watching the leaves of the trees swaying in the wind.
"It's just a baby." he quoted her quietly, but Konan shook her head.
"It's not. To Tsunade and Shizune it's just a baby. A teenage-girl baby, but a baby nonetheless." she said, bitterness she hadn't known was in her heart spilling out through her words.
"To Sasori and Hidan and the others, it's a baby they can fight over, a baby to have fun with, to tease me about. " Konan felt Pain nod against her head, and continued, the words coming slower now that the uncertainty that had been lingering in her mind for what seemed like eternity was now being vocalized.
"To you... to you I don't know what the baby is. A problem, maybe. A regret, I don't doubt. A...a reason to run away from me..." Konan's voice became a squeak, and she wouldn't have been able to go on, even if she'd been able to find the words to express her terror and doubt, because Pain released his hold on her slightly, and tilted her chin up with one hand. He looked right into her tear-filled eyes, his gaze surprisingly determined.
"Shut up." he said fondly, and ruffled her hair.
"Of course I wouldn't leave you. Of course I wouldn't. What about you?" he inclined his chin slightly in question, looking straight at her. "What are you feeling? What do you think about this?"
Konan knew that she couldn't run from the question. She pressed her hands together and tapped her index fingers against her lips, closing her eyes, as though not looking at Pain would make answering him easier.
"I feel.." she said slowly, thinking over what she'd been through the past couple days.
It all came out in an almost unintelligible burst.
"I was so scared- when Tsunade gave me the test, I thought she was crazy, but then- and when I knew, I felt like I was an alien, completely different, it was terrible, and I don't even know who I am any more, I just feel like some stupid girl who went and got herself... I'm so scared, I don't even know what to do, I was scared of telling the others, I'm scared that everyone will find out... I'm scared of myself, and what's happening. I'm scared of the baby, I'm scared..."
Konan swallowed, glad that she was done with crying, but she had moved on to a different level of emotion, and the ache and swell in her voice was painful.
"I was so scared of telling you. I'm scared of..." She didn't need to say the last word. Her hands trembling, she raised her eyes to Pain's. He was looking at her, his gaze so intense yet detached, seemingly measuring her, appraising her soul. He lowered his eyes, letting go of her, then scuffed his shoes in the grass.
"You're afraid of me." he said simply, but Konan ached as she heard the hurt in his voice, the hurt she hadn't meant to inflict, but he had felt it just the same.
"It's not like that," she backtracked quickly, finding it ridiculous that she was now comforting him, when by all accounts, it really ought to be her being consoled. He turned away from her silently.
"You're afraid of what I might say. Or do. Right?" Konan leant against him, back to back, staring across the deserted school grounds.
"Yes." she replied simply.
Simplicity felt good. The truth, in the fewest words possible, to suffocate the pain and terror more efficiently. God, I sound like a pharmacist, Konan thought to herself ironically, then raised her eyes to the sky, watching the graceful dive and arc of an eagle high above.
"And what do you think I might say, or do?" Pain asked, quite conversationally. Konan replied calmly, matching his tone.
"To be honest, I don't think you'll break up with me, although I might be surprised. Worst-case scenarios, you give me an ultimatum, like 'me or the baby', or you force me to have an abortion, or you call me dirty names and tell everyone... or you could pretend that none of it's my fault, and lie all the time to keep me happy, but really you're not okay with it at all, and you'll start to hate me for ruining your life... really, the possibilities are endless."
It was so much easier to be frank when they weren't facing each other. Communicating without seeing the impact of one's words.
She felt him nod, and then he said, "Well, what do you want me to do? I can't say I'm not a little freaked out... but I want to know what you think about it before I say how I feel." Konan raised her eyes to the sky.
"Typical men." she groaned, and heard him laugh lightly.
"What do you mean by that?" he asked, and Konan curled her hands into fists, put them on her hips, and assumed a low, manly voice.
"Wa-ha-ha-ha-ha! I can't share my feeling until I've had a few beers! Let the women do the heart-to-hearts, while I watch hockey and grow a beer belly! Wa-ha-ha-ha-ha!" she said, in her best Me-like-hockey man impression. To her surprise, Pain gave a genuine laugh, and turned around. His eyes were bright, and he was grinning.
"Alright, you've made your point. But do you want to talk somewhere else? We're kind of being watched."
"What?" Pain raised his eyes to the school, and Konan turned around, following his gaze until she saw them. From a third-story window that she recognized as the one near the tattoo art class, she could just see Sasori, Deidara, and Hidan's faces pressed up against the window.
"Those three are unbelievable." Konan mumbled, but smiled in spite of herself.
"Well, where did you want to go?" she asked Pain, who ran a hand over his jaw, a smirk clearly visible beneath his fingers.
"The beach."
xXxXxXxXxXx
The soothing sound of the wind blowing the seeds off of the long beach grass was welcome after the roar of Pain's moterbike, and Konan was more than happy to remove the helmet that seemed intent upon forcing her ears to be permanently squashed against the side of her head.
"Where are we, anyways? I didn't know there was a beach near the school... speaking of which, aren't we missing classes? I'm sure lunch is over." she commented, picking up a tiny shell from the grainy sand and running the smooth surface between her fingers.
"Yeah, well... I think we can both agree that this is slightly more important." Pain said in a dry, teasing voice. Konan marveled at his ability to remain so relaxed when all she could do was worry.
She looked out at the vast body of water before her, and impulsively tugged off her shoes and tights. She walked slowly in, flinching as the freezing-cold water seemed to instantly numb her feet and bite at her ankles. The water was greeny-grey, reflecting the colour of the sky, and Konan could tell that a storm was coming.
The rumble of the sky and the angry purple tint in the clouds above left little to the imagination. Far in front, the vague shape of the opposite shore was just visible, the crest of a mountain and the alarmingly angular spike of a bell tower breaking the wall of fog that seemed to be seeping towards them.
The roar of the ocean and the salty taste on her tongue filled Konan with a solemn sort of energy: without the school looming above her, she could forget, for the moment, that she was only a highschool student, destined for at least another year within the walls of education and adolescence, the threats of disapproval, punishment, and rejection gone from her mind, replaced by a sense of freedom.
Konan only felt the water when it was up to her thighs, her legs numb from her knees down, and stopped walking in. She was aware that Pain was watching her, but she took a moment to calm herself, trailing her fingers in the water that lapped at her legs.
She knew it was probably not particularly clean, but it was relaxing and cold, and was exactly what she needed at that moment. She heard a soft splashing sound, and turned to see Pain wading towards her, his pant legs rolled up around his knees, but already dragging in the water. "You're getting wet." she said, but her words were lost in the roar of the wind, and she doubted he would have said anything even if he'd heard her.
"So, are you going to tell me?" he asked once he'd waded far enough for her to hear his quiet voice over the wind and waves. He reached a hand out and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear.
His fingers were cold, but comforting and gentle, just like always, and Konan closed her eyes, remembering the first time she'd felt his touch, just one year ago... she could never have imagined that in just a few months, hardly a year later, they'd be facing each other, with a baby acting as a barrier between them.
"I wouldn't mind keeping the baby." Konan said lightly, surprised, because she hadn't meant to speak. It had just slipped out. Pain didn't react, clearly waiting for more.
"I mean..." Konan flushed and drew circles in the water with her fingertips shyly, exasperated and amused at her own reaction.
"I suppose I could give it to a family who can't have kids... but I think..." The wind howled, pulling her hair into the sky, swirling around her face. She could see a kite rising, rising up into the sky, far away. She met Pain's gaze, determined, and saw something like recognition, compliance, in his dark eyes.
"I think I want to keep it. It's mine, isn't it? If you don't want it, fine, I'll just... I don't know what I'll do. But don't worry, we... we... I won't..." Konan couldn't even find the words. Her hormones, overactive thanks to her pregnancy, seemed unable to take any more, and she instinctively wiped away her tears before they could fall from her cheeks.
"I hate this, actually." she admitted, sniffing and rubbing her eyes.
"I hate this. I hate crying so much. It makes me feel ridiculous and weak, when I'm currently trying to prove that I'll be fine..." she laughed shakily, rubbing at her eyes. She heard Pain laugh, and he punched her arm lightly. "Sorry." she mumbled, and tried to pull herself together so she could continue her speech, but he interrupted her.
"Relax. You're not going anywhere. I'm..." Konan looked up, her eyes catching his gaze and holding it. He nodded almost imperceptibly, then grinned.
"So... we're gonna be parents, huh?"
Konan opened her mouth to speak, but the only sound that came out was a squeak. She shook her head, overcome, and flung herself at him. He laughed and caught her, but her momentum was too great, and they both splashed into the water.
They surfaced, laughing, and shaking from cold, hugging and kissing. Konan's hand were sliding over Pain's body, feeling that she could never touch him enough, never hold him tight enough.
Their clothes were completely soaked and heavy, and they eventually discarded their uniforms on the beach, paddling around, kissing and holding each other, laughing through the cold, shaking and breathing in short gasps in their underwear.
Finally, Konan realized that freezing her ass off might not be entirely healthy.
"We should dry off..." she murmured, kissing Pain's neck, her arms and legs wrapped around him.
"I won't get cold." he mumbled back, his lips trailing over her shoulder. "You're my new jacket." Konan felt him grin, and smiled, too, shuddering, partly from cold, partly from pleasure.
"You might not be cold, but I am." she said, rubbing her nose, only just realizing that her underwear was probably see-through. Not that it mattered at all.
"I can fix that." Konan didn't even to look; she could tell he was smirking.
"Not saying that that's a bad idea, but..." Konan said, nudging the backs of his thighs with her heels. Pain heaved a sigh that wasn't entirely for show, and carried her back to shore, where he put her down. Konan stumbled slightly in the sand, then found her clothes, which, like her, were sopping wet, freezing, and sandy.
"Wait, what are we going to do?" she asked, turning to look at Pain, who was also collecting his clothes.
"I can't believe I only just thought of this... how are we going to go anywhere to warm up... in our underwear?" she asked, and Pain froze, then grinned.
"I think I can think of a place we can go... if you're up for a cold drive there."
`'`'`'`'`'`''`'`'`'`'`'`''`'`'`'`'`
Evangeline had changed quite drastically since the last time they'd met, but Konan still recognized her easily, mostly by her swaying hips and black rose tattoo on her shoulder.
"Hey, Pain! What can I do for you?" she asked in her usual seductive manner, licking her red lips.
Instead of focusing on her sickeningly obvious flirting that was jarringly brutish compared to Sasori's smooth pick-ups and turn-ons, Konan gave the girl a once-over, taking in subtle differences that seemed to have taken place since their last meeting, on Pain's birthday. Fuscia was apparently last season, and Evangeline was now focusing on burgundy and reds, mixing lace and satin.
Her love of corset tops remained, and this time she was wearing one that hid literally nothing, black satin stripes essentially her only covering as the rest of the babydoll corset was black lace. Her breasts were high and glaringly obvious, the way she liked them, accentuated by black lace barely covering her nipples.
She was wearing burgundy panties with a black and red hurdy-gurdy girl skirt ruffling at the back. Black lace stockings and garters drew attention to her legs, that were elongated by bright red dolly heels that were about four inches, if not higher.
Her makeup was different too. Gone were the bright blue contacts, and Konan had a feeling that the caramel colour was natural, but her eyes were surrounded by long lashes that were reminiscent of spider's legs, her lips were crimson and glossy, hearts and guns dangling from her ears.
Her tan was gone, replaced by pale clear skin with a dusting of sparkles. Her long blonde hair remained, dangling down her back in two high pigtails secured with black and red heart elastics. The hot pink streaks were gone, replaced by sparkles and a reddish tinge at the ends.
Konan's focus returned to their conversation -which turned out to be a nonversation- when she heard Pain say her name.
"...and we'd like some hot chocolates. That okay?" he asked, and Konan caught his cool tone, something that Evangeline clearly didn't pick up on, because her lashes fluttered slightly, and she nodded, her eyes lingering on Pain's lips, before turning away and flouncing through the diner, hips swaying, headed for the table closest to the jukebox.
Pain took hold of Konan's hand, and she squeezed back, unable to believe that they were actually in a restaurant in their underwear. Thank God it was deserted.
"Business has been pretty slow since that death a couple weeks ago... bar fight, the usual." Eva said, flapping a hand dismissively as she laid the table and put two menus down.
"It's been too quiet for me... I get lonely." Konan resisted the urge to laugh derisively as she raised her eyes to the ceiling. Evangeline had to be the most obvious girl in the whole world. The only way she could more blatantly say 'I want to sleep with you' would be to have it tattooed on her highly-visible chest.
"Thanks, Eva." Pain said, and Konan smiled behind her hand, elbow on the table as she looked out the window. His tone did everything but push her away.
"Well." she said, almost like a pouting child, and sashayed away.
"I know this isn't your favorite place," Pain began, patting Konan's hand to get her attention, "but it's warm, and seriously, Eva would honestly kick other customers out to have us stay here." Konan raised her eyebrows and smirked.
"You mean she'd do that to have you here. When she saw you were hardly wearing anything, I swear she came right then." Pain ran a hand through his hair, embarrassed, but laughed anyways. Konan trailed her feet up Pain's legs, searching for some kind of warmth, and also enjoying his squirming, as she was obviously tickling him.
"Stop that." he said, shooting her a frown, but it was ruined as she pressed her foot against the inside of his thigh, and he twitched and made a funny 'Mmaaah' sound.
"So... I guess we should talk about this." Konan said, patting her stomach emphatically, fixing Pain with a pointed look. He stared at her for a second, then grinned.
"You sure were shy about it before... what happened?" he joked. Konan answered calmly, smiling a little,
"Nothing. I just trust you."
"...And you didn't before?" he asked, smirking. Konan moved her foot, and he flinched again just as Eva came back with two steaming mugs of hot chocolate, with whipped cream and chocolate powder sprinkled on top.
"Here you go." she said, putting them down carefully, bending down a little unnecessarily. "If you need anything, I'll be right over here." she said, walking away, her long hair swishing behind her as she left.
"I don't think I've ever been so happy to see anything in my whole life." Konan half-moaned, pulling her mug towards her and rejoicing at the warmth of the china beneath her fingers. There was relative silence while they both took long drinks from their hot chocolate, a song that Konan only just recognized as Lollipop filling the empty restaurant.
"So. So... so we're gonna be parents?" Konan couldn't help it, the moment the p-word came out of her mouth she blushed.
"I guess so." Pain nodded, and Konan couldn't help but grin when she saw that he looked equally embarrassed.
"Have you... have you told other people?" he asked awkwardly, and she knew that the conversation that they were going to have wasn't exactly going to be a comfortable one.
"Yes." she admitted, then recounted how she'd gone to Tsunade and Shizune, then asked help from Deidara and the others.
"Okay..." he said, nodding, but Konan could tell that he was probably running through the day in his mind, trying to remember if the others had acted odd in any way towards him. It must be a hard thing, Konan realized, to find out you have a child after your friends.
"I'm sorry I told them first, it's just I was scared that you'd be angry, and I just felt so alone..." she said apologetically. Pain gave her a quick smile and sipped his hot chocolate. She could tell that he wasn't exactly okay with it, but he wasn't angry either.
"Okay. I think the next thing we should do... is tell my dad." he said, exhaling and pancaking his hands down on the table. Konan's head jerked up, panicked.
"No way! I can't tell your dad! I already had that really scary moment with him in the summer when he thought I was cheating on you with Sasori, and then... I totally can't tell him! What if he gets mad! What if he kicks you out!" Konan wasn't aware that her voice had risen in hysteria, but Pain just shrugged and shook his head, looking completely calm.
"He's not like that." he assured her, and she sighed.
"I guess. I trust you, so if you think we should, then okay... but I think what we should really do is figure out... uh... things like names and where we're going to live, and what I'm going to do... I mean, I can't let everyone at school find out! They'll... say things." Konan muttered, embarrassed by this stupid fear of being shunned. Pain looked at her curiously.
"You're worried about gossip? That's a silly thing to worry about." he said frankly, and she nodded.
"I know, I can't help it." she admitted, twisting her fingers in her lap.
"Well," Pain said, putting his mug down and giving her a smile, "I'm sure the others won't let anybody talk about it. If it's really a problem, you could always just stay at my house." he suggested. Konan shook her head, but was grateful for his support nonetheless.
"It's okay. But what about... what about after it's um... born?" Konan asked, stirring her spoon in her drink, watching the whipped cream dissolve into a spinning stream of white froth.
"What do you mean?" Pain asked.
"I mean, where are we going to live? I know you asked me to move in with you, but where to? What... It'll probably be born in like... April or May... that's before the end of school, isn't it? I can't keep a baby at school! And what should we call it?" Pain laughed.
"What?" she asked, sure she hadn't said anything funny.
"Sorry, it's just you." he said, grinning at her, wiping some whipped cream from his mouth. "Coming up with all these problems, then suddenly asking about baby names." Konan smiled, but nodded anyways.
"Well, it's important! I don't want everyone to laugh at our baby, because he -or she- has got a ridiculous name! But I also don't want its name to be normal..." Pain shrugged.
"Well, we do have like... nine months to come up with one..." he reminded her, and she sighed and nodded.
"Right. But what about the other stuff? Where are we going to live? And I'd really prefer not to give birth in the middle of class, thank you very much..." she said, annoyed, and Pain laughed again.
"Don't worry. You'll be at my dad's house way before that baby has any thoughts of coming out... and we'll take you to a hospital, of course. But we'd better tell Dad sooner rather than later... he never quite got over Naraka going off and having kids and not telling him until they were about six..." Konan's jaw dropped.
"What? You mean he didn't know he was a grandfather for six years?" she asked, shocked. Pain nodded, smiling.
"Uh-huh. He used to say that he'd written Naraka out of his will, just for that. But I doubt it."
"Are you two fine? Anything you need?"
Eva was back, her hip leaning against the back of Pain's booth seat, her eyes lowered in a way that made it pretty clear what she was looking at, and it certainly wasn't Pain's face. Konan had mostly gotten over her annoyance, and now just found Eva's attempt at seduction hilarious. Partly because she was so obvious, partly because it was plain as day that Pain didn't exactly appreciate having his personal space invaded over and over.
"Actually, no, that's okay, Eva. I'll pay you for the hot chocolate, though." Pain said, standing up to retrieve his wallet from where his pants lay with their other clothes, spread over the radiator.
"Okay." she said, following him over, her butt swaying from side to side. Konan mimed throwing up, then looked out the window again.
It was pretty awkward, sitting in a cafe with practically nothing on, but she hardly noticed, as her mind was imagining how different things would be in eight or nine months. Would the baby be born? Would it be a boy or a girl? Most importantly, how much would it hurt? She winced, her imagination supplying too many gruesome scenarios for her comfort, and quickly thought of something else.
Baby names.
Her hand had found its way to her stomach without her noticing, and she rubbed it absent-mindedly as she thought how sad it must be to emerge, bloody and screaming, into a world where nobody knew what to call you except for 'baby'. That must be as bad as going to school and everyone calling you 'human girl', because you didn't know your name. Pain returned a couple seconds later, carrying their clothes.
"Lucky us, they're dry." he said, tossing her clothes to her.
She caught them, a request to go to the bathroom on her lips, but then she realized that since she'd spent about an hour in her underwear already, there really was no point in opting for privacy now. She shrugged and pulled on her tights and skirt, feeling Pain and Eva's eyes on her and not particularly caring. When she was fully dressed, she glanced up to see Pain pulling his shirt on, Eva's eyes glued to his exposed flat stomach and piercings. Konan cleared her throat and finished her hot chocolate, quite honestly feeling ready to leave.
"Right. Ready?" Pain asked, pointing a thumb over his shoulder towards the door.
"Yes." she said, flashing him a smile. She followed him out and blew a sarcastic kiss to Eva, who blew one right back to her.
"Where to now?" Pain asked, swinging a leg over his motorbike and starting it up.
"Your dad's house." Konan replied, pulling her helmet over her head.
`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`''`'`'`'`'`'`
"Aren't you supposed to be in school?" Annie asked suspiciously, leaning against the doorframe, her thumb in the loop of her tight red jeans, a lollipop in her mouth.
"Aren't you?" Pain asked in return, stepping in, Konan following him, their fingers intertwined.
"Touché." Annie said, shutting the door and walking ahead of them down the hall.
"Dad, Deva and Konan are here. Say hi." she called, turning into the kitchen. Konan followed Pain in, feeling more comfortable as soon as she saw Yahiko look up from his crossword at the kitchen table and grin at her.
"Nice to know the money I spend on your education is usefully wasted on trips home." he said, half-disapprovingly, giving his son a stern look.
"Hey there, Konan." he said, waving her over. Konan sat down next to him, and he passed her his crossword. "Well, that's obviously 'remote', she murmured, quickly scribbling down words as Pain walked casually over and leaned against the counters.
"We've got to tell you something, Dad." he said in a relaxed tone that Konan envied. She glanced up at him, half-way through solving a box with 'cacophony'.
"You gonna tell him?" she mouthed, and he shrugged. She nodded, and returned to the crossword, glad that it would allow her to keep her head down, just in case worst came to worst.
"Well, let's have it then. I hate bad news." Yahiko said with a wink, sipping his coffee.
Pain returned his grin, but his eyes were clearly wary. Konan vaguely wondered exactly how scary Yahiko could be when angry, if even Pain was nervous. Annie had left the room, leaving just them in the kitchen, the warm light not particularly easing the tense atmosphere.
"Clever girl, you're making my efforts look simply pitiful." Yahiko said, glancing at his crossword, which was now much fuller than it had been when he'd left it. Konan smiled, but said nothing, waiting for Pain to drop the bomb. She didn't have to wait very long.
"So... Konan's pregnant..." Pain said, meeting his father's gaze steadily, his apprehension not showing at all except for his fingers, that traced the tops of his pockets incessantly.
There was a heavy silence, in which Yahiko took another sip from his coffee, Konan doodled while trying to think of the first name of the English king who had died on the toilet, and Pain tapped his thighs. Finally, Yahiko finished his coffee and put it down with a sense of conclusive finality.
"I see." he said, then was silent for a while. Pain actually sat down and helped Konan with the crossword for a bit, but it all felt very showy; she didn't know about Pain, but Konan herself felt too on-edge to think about a synonym for concrete.
"Well, I'm glad you told me." Yahiko said at last, and Konan chanced a look at him. She hadn't expected him to be happy, not at all, but his expression was completely neutral, the way Pain's was whenever he wasn't sure if he could keep his emotions in check.
"I could give you a huge speech about how reckless the two of you have been, and how much responsibility the two of you will have from now on, but... I think you can imagine that for yourselves." He sighed and leaned back in his chair, running a hand through his spiky orange hair in a way that was nearly identical to Pain.
"I assume you're going to keep the baby?" he asked.
"Of course." Konan said, even though she'd briefly considered getting an abortion, just hours ago.
"Right. Well. I don't exactly want to say 'congratulations', but... I'm looking forward to explaining to the little menace that its parents are idiots." he admitted, giving Konan and Pain a light smile. Just with those few words, Konan could tell that he wasn't angry. A weight seemed to lift from her shoulders, and she smiled at Pain, who grinned back.
"Alright. So, how many more months do we have to wait for the little monster?" Yahiko asked, his voice considerably louder now that the tension was gone.
"About eight or so." Konan answered, ticking the year away on her fingers to check.
"Uh-huh." Yahiko said with a nod, standing up and walking around. Konan was struck yet again with how similar Yahiko and Pain's mannerisms were; pacing when they were trying to think, black expressions when they were unsure of their emotions, smiling to ease the tension... just how many similarities were there?
"And you're gonna come here sooner or later, right?" he asked, drumming his fingers on the back of Konan's chair. She turned around, embarrassed.
"Well, if that's alright with you..." Yahiko laughed gaily and through his arms up.
"Darling, it'll be lovely! No problem, I'd be insulted if you went anywhere else. Now, the school nurse knows about this, I presume?"
"Yes, Konan went to her first." Pain replied, and Yahiko nodded.
"Good. Okay."
A brief dizzy sensation swept over Konan, and she rose to her feet, excusing herself to the bathroom. It simply wouldn't do to be sick in the middle of Pain and Yahiko's father-son moment. She trotted to the restroom and bent over the sink, bracing herself, looking in the mirror, taking deep breaths until the nausea went away. She dug in her pocket for one of the pills Tsunade had given her, and pulled out a small ziplock bag full of them.
She opened it, popped one in her mouth, and swallowed it down with a glass of water. She replaced the bag in her pocket, ran a hand ruefully through her wet hair that hung like vines down from her face, and left the washroom, returning to the kitchen.
She paused just by the door, listening for a moment to make sure it was a good time to enter the room.
"...and have you thought about marrying her?" Yahiko's voice, and apparently it would be very awkward to come in at the moment. She leaned against the wall, listening, only half-aware that her heartbeat had sped up.
"Yeah, actually..."
Okay, much more awkward to just listen.
Exaggerating her footsteps, Konan entered the room, smiling brightly. She knew she must be blushing, but didn't try to hide it- how could she? Yahiko grinned at her, but her eyes were on Pain, who was scuffing his feet on the hardwood floor, looking positively embarrassed.
It was silent for a moment, until Yahiko rubbed his hands together and said, "So, planning on going back to school anytime soon?"
"If my name was Frou Frou... and I was a teddy... I would like to say moo... and get really sweaty..."
"I'm not interrupting, am I?" Konan asked, leaning in the doorway. Hidan, who was sitting on the floor in lotus position, jumped and turned around.
"Konan! Hey! Don't sneak the fuck up on me like that, you bitch! C'mere." he said, his tone turning fond after his original annoyance had faded. Konan grinned and got on her hands and knees, crawling towards him.
"Hey, you." Hidan said, grinning and ruffling her hair, giving her a tight hug. "Where the fuck did you go? Pain's house, I guess? Uchihard-on was looking for you, but everyone told him to fuck himself, so he gave up. Plus, Tsunaboobs was like 'oh my God, don't be all pissy, she's sick and things', so yeah." he shrugged, and Konan laughed.
"I didn't know Mr Uchiha cared." Konan said, pretending to be touched, then frowned.
"Hey."
"Hey what?"
Her eyes narrowed, and she tapped Hidan's nose thoughtfully.
"Fuck- stop that!"
"Is he related to Itachi... and Sasuke?" she asked. Hidan snorted, pushing her hand away.
"Hell, you're more of a jagoff than me, aren't ya? 'Course he is. Great-great-great-great-uncle, or some shit like that. All Itachi said was that he's really old, or something, and that they don't get along. That's as plain as Kakuzu's asshole, isn't though?" Hidan shook his head, and Konan arched an eyebrow.
"I wouldn't know, I've never seen it." she said drily, and Hidan laughed loudly, scratching his bare chest.
"Hey..." Konan said, glancing down before quickly raising her gaze again. "Put on some clothes." Hidan looked at her as though she were crazy.
"Why the fuck would I do that?" he asked, grabbing his open bottle of beer and swigging it. He wiped his mouth and tossed the empty bottle in the trash across the room, his purplish-red eyes looking at Konan challengingly. Konan got to her knees, a little annoyed, but mostly amused.
"Because I'm a pregnant woman and I don't want to see you completely naked!" she yelled, shoving him over. He rolled away towards his wardrobe, laughing, and finally rolled back in some sweatpants.
"Happy now?" he asked, spreading his arms as if presenting himself. Konan crossed her arms and smirked. "It'll do." she said, knowing that it would probably take some serious persuasion to get Hidan into a shirt out of classes.
"Better be." he muttered, a crooked smirk on his mouth as he cracked open another beer.
"Hey, don't pretend you don't think I'm sexy. I'm a sexy bitch, you'd better believe it." he said, giving her a nod and a wink, which she returned.
"Not just a sexy bitch, Hidan. You're my sexy bitch." she grinned, putting her finger under his chin and flicking up. He laughed, tipped back his bottle, then paused. Slowly, he put the bottle down and pointed an accusatory finger at her, his eyes narrowing.
"Hey... did you say that you're... pregnant?" he asked, his eyes widening.
"Finally. I didn't think you were as much of a slow jagoff as me." Konan said, a teasing tone in her voice. It was much easier to talk about her condition now that the hardest person to tell knew. Hidan stared at her for a few more minutes before throwing his head back and roaring with laughter.
"Damn, you freaked me the fuck out! I thought you were... Oh, fuckin' hell... you're actually pregnant? You're not joking?" he asked, running a hand through his slick pale hair.
"No joke." He puffed out his cheeks, then blew out, shaking his head. "Oh, motherfuck... well that's a shocker. You gonna be okay? Does Pain know? You keepin' the monster?" The corners of his mouth tipped up, and she grinned and nodded, yes to everything.
"Alright, alright. Get out of here, you pregnant bitch." he said, laughing, and shooed her out of the room.
"See ya, sexy." he called after her, and she laughed, walking next into Sasori's room, where she knew Deidara would be, too.
They already knew, of course, but there was no harm in spending a bit of time with her two best friends... She pushed the door open, and walked in.
Okay, maybe there is harm in spending time with my two best friends, she thought as her eyes fell upon one of the most libidinous and embarrassing scenes she had seen in her life.
Deidara had apparently tired of being the eternal bottom, and had tied Sasori's hands to the top of the bed with his belt. Sasori's red hair was messier than usual, his cheeks were pink, and he was panting lightly. His pants were unzipped and riding low on his hips, rumpled, making it obvious that someone was trying to get them off.
That someone seemed to have just been crawling up Sasori's body, his arms and legs on either side of Sasori's chest, his teeth leaving marks on the skin, his tongue teasing all it found. Deidara's hair was out of its perpetual half-ponytail, falling in sleek curtains down his back, shielding his face from view and effectively blocking his view of Konan. She stood in the doorway, somehow frozen, staring as Deidara crawled forward, biting at Sasori's neck. Sasori moaned, and heat shot straight at Konan's legs. She jumped and banged her knees together, biting down on one hand to stay silent.
Sasori tossed his head to one side, wrestling against his restraints. The way his feet dug at the blankets, Konan could tell he was dying to break free and grab Deidara, probably to do some nasty things to him. Sasori's face was tipped towards Konan now, only six or so feet away, Deidara's hands in his hair, still busy at his neck. Finally, Sasori opened his eyes. To his credit, he didn't start or anything, he just looked calmly at Konan, then smirked.
"Deidara, we've got company." he said conversationally, despite the fact that he was still panting, obviously as turned on as shit. Deidara made an indistinguishable sound, and Sasori moaned loudly.
"No, no- Konan's here." he said breathlessly, and Deidara immediately froze, still as a statue. He sat back and stiffly looked towards the door, where Konan was still standing awkwardly. She waved. Deidara's face turned pink. Konan didn't need a mirror to know that her face camouflage easily against a firetruck.
"What's up?" Sasori asked casually, waving a hand from where it was tied at the top of the headboard. Deidara cleared his throat uncomfortably and undid the belt binding Sasori's wrists.
"Hey.." Konan said, wondering if it would be more awkward if she were to leave or to stay. She decided that while it would probably have been best if she'd left before they'd noticed her there, it was now no use to go, so she leaned against the wall and smiled.
"Sorry to interrupt..." she said, much too belatedly, "but I just wanted to let you know that I told Pain, and his dad, so it's all okay now."
"That's great!" Sasori said, and Deidara nodded.
"Yeah! We'll come and celebrate with you... later, un." Konan got the hint.
"Right. Have fun!" she said, backing out of the room and shutting the door.
"Oh, we will.." Sasori said after she left, so for good measure, Konan grabbed a sticky note and Sharpie from Hidan's room and put a note saying DO NOT DISTURB THE MADLY IN LOVE FREAKS IN HERE on the door, then knocked on Itachi's door.
She wondered briefly if she should really tell everyone, but then she remembered that she and Pain had discussed it, and had agreed that on the whole, it was better for everyone to know, just in case something unexpected happened. So when Itachi said 'come in', she did, and sat down on the floor, looking up at Itachi, Kisame, and Kakuzu.
"Well, I guess I can just tell all of you right now," Konan said, clearing her throat. "First of all, I'm pregnant." Shocked look from Kisame, slight surprise from Kakuzu, Itachi merely nodded, as he had already known.
"It's Pain's baby, of course." she said, just in case there was any danger of them getting the wrong idea. "And we're going to keep it." Silence. Absolute silence, until Itachi put down his cards and folded his arms.
"Well, that's some nice news." he said earnestly, in that quiet way of his.
Konan gave him a little smile, then redirected her gaze to Kisame, who seemed to be the most surprised of the group. After a few more seconds of thinking, his face split into a wide, sharp-toothed smile, and he got up off the bed with a rather bear-like roar and seized Konan into a rib-cracking hug.
"That's great!" he said encouragingly, ruffling Konan's hair before leaving the room.
"Pain! You old rascal, where the hell are you? How could you not tell me-" he called, walking down the hall. Kakuzu dropped his cards in annoyance.
"How the hell am I supposed to earn a profit just playing with you?" he asked, looking ruefully at Itachi. "You've got a poker face like wooden post." he grumbled, crossing his arms.
"Sorry." Itachi said, not looking particularly sorry.
Kakuzu's eyes met Konan's, and a sort of smile seemed to appear on his face.
"Well, hey." he said, with a shrug. "At least now I'll know that if you start getting really fat, really quickly, you have a good excuse."
She laughed, and excused herself, following the sound of Kisame's laughter to where Pain was lying on his bed, arm-wrestling Kisame for some boyish reason. She walked in the door and sat on the floor, watching them struggle until Kisame finally won.
"Hah! Eat that, you bastard!" Kisame cheered, backing out of the room, doing a little victory dance. Pain laughed, then looked at Konan.
"I let him win." he said with a modest shrug.
"Uh-huh." Konan said, raising her eyebrows. Pain laughed.
"Sheesh, my own girlfriend doesn't believe me! Has the world really come to this?" he said melodramatically, clutching at his chest and raising a hand imploringly to the sky.
"Yeah, yeah, Hamlet. Put a sock in it." Konan said, clambering up onto the bed into Pain's arms, which he wrapped around her, pulling her close against his chest.
"You're so nice." he murmured sarcastically, and she bit him playfully.
"Vampire." he said, petting her hair affectionately. She snuggled closer, and they sat there, content in each others arms for a long time.
Finally, Konan yawned (she had actually fallen asleep), then asked, "Okay, if you had to pick one boy name and one girl name, which would you pick?" Pain thought about it for a second.
"For our kid, or just... names I like?" Konan shrugged.
"Either. Both. Two names you like, then."
"Okay. For a boy...Mick Jagger. For a girl... Mellow." Konan stifled a giggle.
"What's funny?" Pain asked sulkily.
"Nothing, nothing... you just have really... silly...favourite names..." she said, unable to stop little snorts of laughter from escaping her hands that were pressed over her mouth.
"Well, fine. What are two names you like, then?" Pain asked, a bit reproachfully, and Konan hummed while she thought.
"Ummmm... Trunks and Billie Jean." Pain laughed.
"What? They're fine!" Konan insisted, but he kept laughing until she finally got annoyed and shoved him.
"Sorry, sorry... but you just came up with the most ridiculous names ever... I mean, Trunks? Is that like elephant trunks or a traveling trunk?" he asked, poking her side playfully. Konan's expression remained sour. "Neither." she said flatly.
"He's my favourite character from Dragon Ball, thank you very much. And you're one to talk! I mean, Mick Jagger? Mellow? The poor thing would be picked on their whole life!" she exclaimed. It was Pain's turn to defend himself.
"No way! Mick Jagger just happens to be the most awesome senior citizen in the whole world! And those black and red striped pants? Those are so cool! And Mellow is perfectly fine. It's like Marshmallow, only... without the marsh, and with an e instead of an a." Konan rolled her eyes.
"Right. I can just imagine it now, our daughter explaining at school that her name is 'like marshmallow without the marsh.'" Konan said, face-palming. Pain grinned.
"Well, it could be worse. She could walk through life, constantly followed by an incessant chorus of 'Billie Jean is not my lover... she's just a girl who thinks that I am the one...', or our son could constantly explain that his name is not a vaguely common pluralized noun, but a name." Konan scowled.
"Yeah, but better that than be constantly demanded to show his 'moves like Jagger', or to sing 'Beast of Burden' at talent shows, or something!" she exclaimed.
"Yeah... what I've gathered from this conversation is that neither of you should name your kid. No matter what."
Pain and Konan both sat up with a start, and stared at the door, where Sasori was standing in the doorway, his boxers riding low on his hips, his hair messy, his cheeks pink, on the whole looking like he'd just rolled out of a very sexy bed.
Which, Konan reminded herself, he had.
"Well, what would you name your kid?" she asked, her feelings kind of stepped on, but actually curious. Sasori ran a hand through his bedhead, glanced at the ground, then raised his gaze, bedroom eyes on 100%, and smirked.
"Let's see. For a guy... Sexbomb."
Konan swallowed a shriek of laughter, but Pain wasn't fast enough. He covered by turning his laugh into a cough, but Sasori knew and grinned.
"And for a girl..." His expression softened slightly, but he crossed his arms and raised his chin, like he was challenging them to think he was being cute. "Deirdre."
The meaning of that one word sunk in slowly, and Konan understood just before Pain. She leaned back against his chest with a sigh and a huge smile, unable to stop looking at Sasori as though he were the cutest thing in the whole wide world. Pain realized, too, and grinned. Sasori stood there, his arms crossed, glaring at the ceiling.
"Yeah, yeah, laugh at the sentimental hot guy..." he said with a sigh as he strolled away back to his room, where Deidara was inevitably waiting.
`'`'`'`'`''`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'
Two weeks later, Konan was beginning to get uneasy.
Though her morning sickness was mostly bearable and controllable thanks to Tsunade's pills, her frequent trips to the nurse's office did not go unnoticed for long, and though she didn't speak to many people, and when they asked she said she was anemic, rumors began to spread like wildfire throughout the school.
One morning Konan walked to the bathroom to find the crowded room become silent the moment she stepped through the door. This didn't bother her until she heard the whispers around her in hallways, in classes, at lunch, where the mouths were less careful of which ears overheard their words.
Anorexia, bulimia were both discussed and dismissed, as her figure contradicted them. Mental illnesses were eagerly explored until interest faded as new ideas cropped up. AIDS, herpes, chlamydia, mono- each had its own moment in the limelight of gossip until the tongues of interest that had licked at them for so long lost their taste for it and let it fall into the dust.
While Konan often didn't listen, and her friends would always either politely -or less politely- tell the speakers to shut up, she began to wonder if she was going crazy. Whispering voices echoed in her head, even in the silence of her bedroom she was not alone. Serpentine tongues flicking out from the grotesquely altered, grinning faces of her classmates haunted her dreams.
She would wake up in the morning, gasping for air, nausea gripping her stomach, bathed in sweat and looking for the source of the whispers that hissed and buzzed in a constant rumble within the confines of her skull. She would collapse to the floor, clutching at her head, screaming silently as the words filled and filled and filled her mind, gnawing at her brain, drilling into her skull.
Tsunade prescribed painkillers and anti-stress medication, but became concerned with Konan's stress levels. Her concern became more apparent as soon as the voices of Konan's mother and father, and Bill, and the men she'd killed with her own hands joined the ranks of the condemning whispers that shrieked and moaned, simmering away in her mind.
Visions of her father, dead, blood spilling out of the gunshot wound in his chest, the man she'd asphyxiated, the neck she'd broken between her thighs, the mutilated bodies of Hidan's victims, the madness that had eaten away at her mother for so many years...
Konan would lie on the floor in Tsunade's office, screaming and thrashing around until Shizune took pity on her and gave her morphine.
This cycle went on for about a week; the gossip, the voices, the visions, the sickness, finally the morphine. Pain was the most worried out of anyone about it, and would often stick to Konan like glue between classes, knocking out anyone who said a word. But detentions would separate them, and after the first few days, he gave up hitting them and just silenced them with murderous looks.
But Konan's stress levels were higher than they'd been in months, and as soon as she'd relaxed, the visions would start again, and each time they would start further and further back, until she didn't have any memories and her imagination would do the work for her, conjuring up bloody, tormenting images of her father's experiments on her fetus, the horrors her mother must have endured, the torturous visions of herself as a child, playing hide-and-seek and dress-up, completely innocent and unknowing that she was being raised, like a pig for slaughter, to be imprisoned within a few short years.
Her mind became a barren wasteland, interrupted here and there by screams, whispers dancing like tumbleweed across he nothingness. Pain began to stay up with her, all night, every night, watching her silently as she stared at the opposite wall, unmoving, except a twitch or a spasm every now and then as a gunshot or the snap of a neck would explode with a sickening crack, echoing in her mind.
Hopelessness enveloped both of them.
Pain's devastation began to sink in as he realized he was helpless to wake her up, to stop the nightmares. Konan had lost hope long ago, really. She would ponder this, in the quiet moments between waking and sleeping, the voice of her mind rather matter-of-fact as it decided that really, she had lost all hope upon the death of her father.
Living in a world where what brought you into it is the loneliest experience imaginable, especially if you live without truth, your questions about your existence remaining eternally unanswered.
However, hope came, like a beacon in the night sky, in the most unexpected form imaginable.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"You can tell me."
"Nothing to tell."
"I keep secrets if they make people sad. And you look really sad."
"'M not."
"You so are."
"No."
"Yeah."
"No."
"Fine, scared."
Konan gave no reply, looking out the window at the rain that fell in an interesting sheet-like pattern, irregularities occurring every now and then as the pattern would shift, perhaps due to wind, or a bird higher up.
The whispers began, nearly without sound, then louder and louder until they became a buzzing. The teacher was out photocopying, and the moment for wondering about the strange girl by the window had come.
"Would you guys just shut up?" Ino's voice rang out amid the hissing, loud, clear, and sounding pissed off as hell.
Konan blinked.
She looked up.
Ino was standing up, hands on hips, her long, pale-blonde hair hanging like a sleek waterfall down her back. The room of mouths, hands, ears, and eyes stared back.
"God," Ino sighed, folding her arms. "Could you be any more stupid? How would you like it if people talked about you right in front of you, knowing you couldn't stop them?" Konan raised her head and stared at Ino, her mouth slightly open in surprise. "Just shut the fuck up and leave her alone, or I'll fucking kill you." Ino threatened, and something shifted in the silence.
Agreement, perhaps.
Fear, probably. Especially if the stories about Ino's past were true.
Konan suddenly wondered if perhaps Ino and Deidara were more similar than she'd thought. Did stubbornness and pluck run in the family? Ino sat back down with a sigh, and blew her long bangs out of her eyes.
"Jesus, they're like a flock of hens! Not content unless they've got something to talk about..." her powder blue eyes met Konan's, and she smiled briefly, shyly.
Asking for forgiveness, but for what? Because she knows I hate her, Konan realized, and looked back out the window. She wasn't good at forgiving people. Never had been. Like Daddy... did I every forgive Daddy? Konan wondered, staring at the rain.
"You... you can tell me. But only if you trust me. Only if you want." Ino said, interrupting the silence that was still hanging in the air.
Konan turned and looked at her. Ino looked shy, which was naturally a shocker; Konan had never realized that there might be more to this blonde, curvy girl than just sex appeal, bitchiness, and libido. She said nothing. Ino shifted in her chair, twisting her hands in her lap.
"I can tell when people are really hurting. You'd think it's not hard, but... It's when it's really bad, when the person shuts themselves away from the world... that's the worst, but that's when people usually think they're just bored, or tired... But really..." Konan listened to Ino's voice, which was oddly calming, as she looked out at the rain, falling silently, constantly...
"You're really hurting, aren't you? You're afraid." Ino's voice had fallen to a whisper. Konan felt like crying, but she didn't understand why. Her eyes had been dry for so long. Only the morphine made her cry, and that was from relief.
"You're never afraid, and that's what worries me." Konan closed her eyes. How was Ino's voice more soothing than Pain's? More worry-alleviating than the morphine? A voice she hated, belonging to a person she disliked intensely...
"I know we've never exactly liked each other... but in a weird way, you remind me of myself. I've always been watching, you know. I do admire you, in my own way... and that's why-" Ino put a hand on Konan's shoulder, and Konan turned her head to find Ino looking at her, determination obvious on her face.
"That's why whatever is scaring you- I want to know what it is, because I'm scared because you're scared... I want to help you, so that I won't be scared. I want to help you!" Konan looked at her.
Though they looked nothing alike, there was something like Deidara in her expression. So, despite having no inclination to do so, Konan nodded.
In a low voice, mumbling and speaking so quickly it was a miracle that Ino could understand, Konan told her story. All of it, no omissions, which was a real first for her. Ino listened, hardly blinking, her expression remaining neutral for all of it, even the parts about Konan killing people, her shady conception, the mutilated bodies of Angelo's mooks...
"And now... and now I'm just freaking out. The whispers, I don't really care, only the voices change, in my head, into my dad's, and my mum's, and the dead people's... and I just can't take it. I just can't.." Konan's voice cracked on the last word, and she turned her head back to the window again.
Ino said nothing, but gave a long, quiet sigh, leaning back in her chair. It was a lot to take in, obviously, but to her credit, Ino didn't seem too overwhelmed.
"Right. So. The first thing to do is to stop the rumors. I can do that easily, obviously..."
Of course.. Konan thought, her inner voice sounding rather monotonous, because you're the queen of all gossip... they only talk if you want them to talk, and only shut up if you tell them to. Naturally...
"And as for... as for your baby, if Tsunade's ever busy, and you need help, just come ask me." This was so preposterous that Konan turned her head again and looked at Ino.
The girl was smiling broadly, looking confident and in her element, which was only marginally shocking compared to Konan's realization that Ino wasn't wearing any makeup. And honestly... she looked pretty. Not plastic, not Barbie-esque... pretty, naturally, like a flower.
"My parents own a flower shop, but my mum used to be a midwife. I know a lot about babies and the like. I can help you." The tiniest of smiles tugged at the sides of Konan's cheeks. It took a few minutes of thought, remembering how to speak, but finally, she managed it.
"Thank you." she said, honestly. Ino smiled shyly, and returned her gaze to her hands.
The rest of the class passed in silence, and it wasn't for a long time afterwards that Konan wondered when Ino had sat down beside her in the first place.
And when had Ino begun to care.
`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`
Two months later...
"Konan, the head wants to see you."
Konan stood up, heart thumping for some inexplicable reason, but she nodded to her teacher and left the room, walking down the empty hallways towards the head office. Mr Uchiha... Itachi's rather estranged and disliked relative...
Konan wondered why she found him so unlikable, and she decided that it was probably because he had tossed Tsunade and Shizune aside, and shoved them into the most miserable excuse for a nurse's office known to the world.
She knocked on one of the large double doors, and to her shock it opened immediately. Mr Uchiha's tired eyes were the first things she saw, and he quickly ushered her in, and told her to sit down. She did so, her arms around her stomach as they usually were now, partly to hide her baby bump, which was barely visible anyways, thanks to her baggy sweater-vest, partly out of some sort of inborn instinct to protect it from the man before her, who she didn't trust and didn't like.
The headmaster said nothing for a few minutes, facing away from her, and Konan seized the moment to look outside at the snow that gently floated down from the sky. It was easily the most beautiful thing to look at in the dark room, and naturally attracted her gaze.
Finally, her eyes reluctantly returned to Mr Uchiha, and she jumped slightly when she saw that he had turned around while she hadn't been looking. His expression was friendly, but only just.
"Konan." he said, as though they'd known each other for years. While Konan generally appreciated friendliness and open greetings, there was no warmth in his voice, and she didn't like the implication that they were close, or even knew each other at all. Because while she knew nothing about him, he had her student file right in front of him, open on the desk, so there was not much to hide.
Except you, she thought to herself, discreetly rubbing her tummy. Except you.
"Now, we're friends, aren't we?" Mr Uchiha said with a smile that didn't reach his eyes. Konan didn't answer, but gave him a pseudo-friendly smile. No use getting on his bad side.
"We're on a first-name basis now, I'm sure. Please feel free to call me Madara" Konan felt like snapping back that the only thing she particularly wanted to call him was 'shitface', but she held her tongue as he continued.
"I just wanted to have a little chat with you." He sat down behind his desk and patted her file.
"I've just been browsing over your file, and I've noticed that you've been paying our nurse quite a number of visits." Somehow the way he didn't even use Tsunade's name made Konan's blood boil, but she exhaled calmly, willing herself to relax.
"Would you mind telling me why that would be?" Konan met his gaze and smiled.
"Isn't that private information, headmaster?" she asked him sweetly. He didn't react for a moment, clearly evaluating her, then he smiled.
"Of course, of course...however, as I am the one who has to put in orders for various school supplies, I think that it is my right to know exactly why I need to buy so much of... oh, I don't know... morphine... Emetrol..." Konan blinked.
"Well, I'm sure I'm not the only one who gets bad migraines..." she murmured.
Madara smiled tightly.
"No, I'm sure you're not, only... Emetrol is a popular medication for morning sickness. Do you think there are many pregnant girls in my school, Konan?" Konan's stomach tightened, and she bit her lip. Tsunade had promised that even if Madara knew what she was ordering, who she was giving it to would remain completely confidential. There was nothing he could do... right?
"I... I don't know, Madara. I don't know of any pregnancies." she said, well aware that her voice sounded rather stilted, and cursing herself for it.
"Funny you should say that," he said, standing up and beginning to pace around the dark office.
"Because I've been hearing rumors...they've died down in the last month and a half, but still.. Now, I know just as well as I do that rumors are 99% fictitious... but there's always a grain of truth within them. Always. I am an expert on rumors, on deceit... on lies, Konan." he stopped by his desk, and picked up a letter opener in the shape of a jagged knife.
He looked at it, contemplating, and Konan realized that he was wearing black gloves. Was he cold?
Probably not.
Madara twirled the letter opener between his hands and turned, piercing her with a hard gaze.
"And I say that you are lying to me." Konan forced her shock and fear beneath a carefully cultivated mask, devoid of emotion, then smiled politely.
"I don't understand what you mean, Headmaster." Madara stepped towards her, and bent over, so his face was close to her own, his eyes level with hers.
"You are a liar." he whispered, but he could have gotten the exact same effect if he'd screamed.
Konan was rigid, staring at him, her palms sweating. There was no logical reason for why she should feel so terrified, but something about him... his aura, his voice, his cold eyes that teased as they tortured... something about him unnerved her like nothing else in the world.
Suddenly she found some strength within her, and jumped to her feet, her hands clenched into fists. Her voice came easily, and she yelled into the silence.
"I am going to keep my baby, and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it!" Konan cried defiantly, her fists shaking but firm at her sides, her eyes blazing with hatred and strength. Madara's eyes narrowed, not in malice, but in amusement, and he took a step towards her, the letter-opener still in his gloved hand.
"Oh, I wouldn't say that." he said, his voice a disturbing purr.
Phew! That took WAY longer than it should have! Reviews would be adored, and I will (hopefully) have the next chapter up before Christmas (I know that's a long time, but I've got family coming, etc, ski trips...)