-Sanctuary Village-
Subaru and Rem silently begin to make their way back to the house. The plan is now in motion. As much as he wants to be involved in the conversation between Rem and Ram, he knows he would be a hindrance. To try to convince someone to separate from their master they've loved and served for years is no minuscule task. With how little time he's spent working for the Margrave, and the status of their current relationship, Subaru's words would mean little to her. On the contrary, Rem has known her sister her whole life, known and worked for the same master as her for years, and their relationship is much more positive all around.
She'll be fine. I know it. Ram treats Rem's every word very seriously and with care. I'm sure Rem will find a way to convince her sister to stop working for Roswaal. Or at the very least, convince her to stop following him with such blind devotion. Now then…
Subaru puts a little more power into his steps, indenting the small dirt road below him with the pattern of his shoes. As Rem has to talk with her sister, he likewise has someone he must speak with. Emilia.
Unfortunately, due to the amount of chaos and suffering over the past several days and loops, the poor man has barely had time to spend with the woman he originally fell in love with in this world. Not only has he had no time, but he's barely given even a few thoughts towards her. Ever since Rem figured out his dark secret of Return by Death and subsequently pledged herself to him, the blue-haired maid has been the only girl to really be in nearly all of his thoughts as of late.
Even so, that doesn't mean he cares any less about her than before. He sincerely wants her to pass the trials. Originally, he had strongly considered passing them himself but has since discarded the idea. He has other bigger matters to attend to. Plus, he wants to trust that Emilia can do it herself. However, he knows she's been struggling, which is exactly why he's meeting her. Perhaps a pep talk could lift her spirits.
However, if Puck would appear and encourage her, that'd be a significant help. Where the heck has that kitty been? I haven't really seen him since well…that.
He briefly shivers uncontrollably upon recalling the deaths caused by his hands, or rather paws. Shaking his head, he shifts his eyes to the road ahead. Rem notices and grabs his hand, giving a warm smile. He can't help but smile back, beyond thankful that this wonderful girl is here with him.
-Subaru's House-
"So…yes. Essentially, due to my poor timing and bad luck, I was left with all that oil and no buyers. At least until Natsuki-san agreed to buy it all off of me." Otto says with an embarrassed look on his face. While Subaru and Rem were out doing whatever they were doing, the merchant had been entertaining Ram, the single guest who came by. Though in truth, Ram is just waiting for Rem to return and is killing time by conversing with Otto. The story Otto just told was about how he ended up getting involved with Subaru. He had originally intended to tell of his adventures with Subaru and Rem as they fought off Petelguese, but she quickly shut that down, having heard of it already from Rem.
"Aaaaaaah…" Ram leans back in her chair, crossing both her arms and legs. "So that's how this hapless merchant ended up within the ranks of Barusu. A fitting tale. However, you do know Barusu is penniless beyond hope, do you not?"
"Why do you consider us one in the same? We're completely different!" Otto coughs into his fist, "Anyway, what I meant by Natsuki-san agreeing to buy the oil off of me is that his benefactor, Roswaal-sama, would be the one paying. Though even if he wasn't, he said he has a job as a butler. So he surely has some money."
Ram pulls herself forward into her original sitting position instantly as her eyes widen in surprise. Rem never told her about this particular detail. "What? So Barusu intends to use Roswaal-sama's monetary assets as if they were his own? He has a lot of nerve to assume he'd readily comply with such an absurd thing. Oil is expensive, and Roswaal-sama has no particular need for a large supply right now."
Terrified that Roswaal won't purchase his overstock oil, Otto shakes with fear., "I-I'm selling this oil at a loss! Please, I just need it off of me. I've heard that Roswaal-sama is a reasonable negotiator, so surely he could at least see me, right?"
She gives a slight smile, "Of course. Roswaal-sama is a reasonable man after all. I suppose I can let you see him in the near future. However, I must ask you to wait, as he is not in a vigorous state currently. Additionally, do not get your hopes up as high as Barusu made you set them."
Otto sighs in relief that there is still a good chance he'll be able to sell off his oil. After said sigh, the two fall into complete silence. They continue to glance at one another occasionally, but that's it. Otto hopes Ram will come up with something to relieve the awkward atmosphere, but nothing. He in turn scrounges his brain for any sort of topic she could possibly be interested in. Unfortunately, having only met her yesterday, the poor merchant barely knows anything about the maid.
The awkward silence lifts when they both hear the squeaking of steps approaching the front door. They turn to find the front door slowly opening.
Ram gets up first and greets them, "Finally. You two were taking so long I was thinking of going out and looking for you myself."
Subaru smiles brightly, "You were even worried about me Nee-sama?! Man what an honor to be-"
Ram puts a hand to his mouth, "Finish that statement and you'll be lucky if your throat remains intact. I was referring to Rem." She maintains a glare on his face, certain he would understand and not say anything that would cause her embarrassment. However, her expression changes to one of slight shock when Rem grips Ram's wrist and forcefully puts down her hand. "Rem? What are you doing?"
"...Apologize." Rem mutters.
"What?"
"Even though I know you don't truly mean that threat, apologize."
Subaru intervenes with a shaky tone due to the tense atmosphere, "Y-Yeah! We all know she's never serious with those threats. I-I know what you're thinking Rem, but seriously, it doesn't bother me! So please, let's drop this and move on. Remember what we came here for?"
Rem remains in place for a moment before moving her hand up to grip Ram's hand. Tilting her head so that she gazes upon the floor, she says to Ram in a lower tone than usual, "Nee-sama, let's go talk. Privately."
Shocked for a second time at Rem's bold behavior, Ram silently follows along without complaint. Before they get very far, Subaru calls out, "Is Emilia still asleep upstairs?"
He expects Ram to reply, but instead it's Otto who does with a shake of his head, "No. Emilia-sama came down a little bit ago and said she couldn't sleep and wanted to take a walk in the forest. No idea when she'll be back."
"Good enough for me, thanks Otto!" He gives a grin and thumbs up to Otto before heading out the door, only to return a moment later, "By the way, I need to talk with ya about something in the morning. You free?"
Otto's eyes widen at the unexpected direct praise from the guy who teases him nonstop. "Uh…yeah! It's not like I can do much here as it is."
"Great!" With that, Subaru leaves for real.
Looking around, Otto finds himself all alone, the oni sisters having already left the room. "Hah…I meet all these strange people and still somehow find myself all alone. I suppose it's better than sitting silently with someone else. I wonder what Natsuki-san wants to talk about…"
Getting up, the lonely merchant decides to make himself another cup of tea before turning in for the night.
-Sanctuary Village-
As Subaru walks through the village, he briefly thinks back to how Rem interacted with Ram, leading her away the way she did. It's become rather clear that lately Rem has begun to act differently to her sister than she used to.
I know she acted like that because she's concerned about me. But her reaction worried me more than anything. Will those two be alright? I really don't want the sisters to break up the relationship they've built up over their entire lives because of me. That'd be one of the worst things I would have ever done if it really happens!
Hoping deep within his heart that his worst fears won't come to fruition, he carries on walking.
-Forest-
Upon reaching the outskirts of the village, a giant line of trees await Subaru.
"Hopefully she's out in this section of the forest. Maybe she's talking with the lesser spirits?" Musing that question aloud, he takes a step into the forest, hopeful that he'll find Emilia somewhere in this giant forest surrounding the Sanctuary.
He doesn't get very far in before he spots three Ryuzu clones out and wandering about, paying little mind to one another aside from ensuring they don't trip on one another. Observing their movement patterns reveals to Subaru that they are likely wandering aimlessly with no set destination. Although, it could be possible they're just patrolling the area, as they don't appear to be going anywhere far.
"Hey there." He casually greets the three with a wave and smile. They all stop walking and exchange glances with him. None of the three mutters so much as a sound, leading Subaru to believe they're likely among the many clones who have no set personality. "Actually, it's pretty great to see you all. Can you come over for a minute?"
All three clones obey immediately and come within a couple of inches of him. Seeing three cute young girls before him like this invokes his fatherly instinct instantly. Before he even knows what he's doing, he reaches his hands out and rubs each of their heads affectionately.
"Ah!" Realizing what he's doing, he pulls his hands away, "I'm so sorry! I just…I saw your adorable heads and just!"
The Ryuzu clones give a look of complete and utter neutrality. The head rubbing didn't affect any of them, positive or negative. This only served to make Subaru feel even more anxious and guilty for what he's done. "Even if you have no personality, I feel you should react at least a little to that sort of thing. I feel guilty…"
The clones briefly look at one another before resuming their gaze on Subaru, expressions unchanged.
"So uh…" He purposely coughs into his fist, "I have something I'd like you three to do. There's a boy around here with big muscles, blond spiky hair, and a giant scar on his face. He may be out looking for me right now, but I don't see him yet."
Looking around, Subaru is certain he isn't around at the moment. "So if you see him, can you redirect him away from the forest? I'm going to confront him properly, but I need some more time first."
The three clones silently nod and run ahead of him to the entrance of the forest. Subaru smiles guiltily at them, "I don't feel very proud doing this, but I'm already relying on other people so much already, especially Rem-rin. But as long as I contribute in my own way and the plan succeeds, it'll all be worth it!"
Having successfully reassured himself, Subaru proceeds deeper into the forest. The amount of trees and shrubs surrounding him grows tremendously. The canopy up above becomes thicker and more lush with foliage, allowing fewer and fewer rays of moonlight to peer through to the ground below. Unfortunately for Subaru Natsuki, he was not blessed with the power of night vision. Everything but what is directly in front of him becomes fully undetectable.
"Dang it. I really didn't think this through. Should've brought a torch. I'll easily become lost at this rate, and who knows what sort of creepy crawlies will be out to get me." He shivers as he thinks back to the Great Rabbit. While it didn't exactly meet the definition of a "creepy crawlie", it fit right in when it came to the "looks fairly harmless but is actually extremely dangerous" sort of bugs and insects. The only main difference being the rabbits look really cute while bugs and insects do not.
Subaru decides to move forward in a single direction to combat his loss of sight. That way if wants to leave the forest, all he has to do is reverse his direction and walk straight. Simple! Employing this new strategy, he goes on for a few more minutes before colliding with a tree. He walks around it and continues on, only to quickly smack into another. He moves around again and quickly smacks into another tree. Now he's gone around three trees. How much has he gone around them?
Uh…I'm sure I went 180 degrees around them? Right? I think I did. The distance around the tree felt right. But what…what if I miscalculated? Can I really go back around the tree the same amount I initially did? Oh no! Oh no!
Now he's done it. Subaru has gone and gotten himself lost in the woods in the middle of the night! Groaning hard and trying not to let his internal freakouts leak to the real world, he turns around and attempts to return the way he came. He reaches a tree instantly. Perfect! He goes around what he thinks is 180 degrees and continues on. Walking the required distance to reach the second tree on his path, Subaru comes face to face with air. Pure, clean, fully breathable air which he makes use of immediately, taking a deep breath in and letting it out as a deep sigh.
"Ok Subaru Natsuki…think! Think! What did all those lessons on survival skills back in middle school teach me? I know how to make a fire…but I can't see squat to locate the materials. Uh…maybe squinting my eyes?" Doing so, he unfortunately finds no improvement to his vision quality.
"Crap…what's next? At least, whatever I do, I shouldn't shout. That could attract who knows what towards me…oh what should I do?"
He ponders helplessly but comes up with zero solutions to his growing predicament. Subaru's insurmountable dread of being lost grows, and just when he fears all is lost, a faint blue light, reminding him of Emilia, shines in the distance. "Yes! That has to be her!"
The shimmering blue light acts like a beacon, and he starts walking toward it, its intensity growing stronger as he gets closer. Picking up the pace, Subaru pushes through or goes around the many shrubs, sticks, and rocks in his path until he eventually reaches the light. Subaru's eyes register hundreds of lights, and standing amidst the floating, spiraling light show stands a solitary figure whose appearance rivals the brilliance surrounding her.
"Emilia-tan!"
Saying her name, the girl in question is spooked by the sudden noise, turning to see who made it.
"S-Subaru? You frightened me!" She pouts in a way that Subaru thinks makes her even more adorable than she already is.
"Ah, sorry! I got lost in the woods so when I saw the lights of the lesser spirits I came running as fast as I could!"
"You didn't bring a torch?"
He gives a smile of embarrassment, "Heh…I kinda rushed into the forest so I didn't think about not being able to see properly."
"Oh Subaru." Emilia softly shakes her head at his foolishness. "Well, if you came rushing to the forest, surely you must have a reason for it? I'm curious since it can be dangerous to enter on your own."
"I came to find you. I thought you'd come out here and away from everyone. And…I might've had a little help."
"Reeeeeeally? That's sweet of you. But I am sort of busy at the moment…"
"Oh actually uh…is it possible to keep them around? Since, y'know, darkness and all that?" Subaru nervously chuckles, internally chastising himself once more for not bringing any light source. "If you need to keep talking to them, that's fine. I can wait a little."
Emilia turns back to the spirits and puts her hands together while shutting her eyes. Subaru watches her in awe, as he often did in the past whenever she had conversed with the lesser spirits. The sight of the little light blue orbs floating around the two of them would never get old. However, some of that wow factor is now gone. And for some reason, seeing Emilia do this didn't quite feel the same anymore. It's like he wished someone else was here doing this instead, but he didn't allow himself to ponder on it for long, as Emilia turns back to face him with a smile.
"They agreed to light up the place for a while. So why did you come out here to find me? Wait, did Otto-kun tell you where I was?"
"Uh…well…" Subaru stammers, unable to deny her.
She pouts in response, "I knew it! Awwwwww. I thought he wasn't going to tell anyone…"
Subaru laughs a little at her despondent expression, "It's natural that if someone asks where a person is, they'd say where that person is. Unless you specifically told him not to tell anyone where you were?"
"It wasn't like that. I never told him he couldn't tell anyone. A-Anyway! That's besides the point. I doubt you came all the way out here to laugh at me about my communication skills! I really hope you didn't…"
"What?! No! I didn't expect the conversation to turn in this direction! Putting that aside, Emilia-tan…how have you been feeling?"
"Huh?"
"You know, since the trial and all that. I also heard from Otto you couldn't sleep, and that's why you came out here in the first place."
She pouts again, "Why did he have to say more unnecessary things? Hmph! Well, no point in lying about it now."
Subaru walks a little closer to her, "You were never good at lying in the first place Emilia-tan."
She doesn't retort against his teasing and instead decides to tilt her head to the floor. Believing he went too far, Subaru almost starts to apologize but stops when Emilia opens her mouth to speak, "Would you be willing to listen to a story Subaru?"
His eyebrows perk up in anticipation. Is he really about to hear some part of her past? Up until now, she's been very reserved in sharing anything relating to her past. It could even be said that Subaru knew next to nothing about her life before meeting her in that alleyway that day.
Emilia begins, "The past I saw in the trial…it was a memory from before I went to sleep, I think." Seeing his intrigued expression, she continues, "I never told you that I was frozen in ice for a long time, did I?"
"You were frozen…in ice?"
"I was frozen in the forest for a long time. Until Puck found me and got me out, I had been sleeping within the ice for a long, long time."
I'm really glad Rem isn't here right now. If she heard Puck's name right now…I can't imagine what sort of expression she'd have on her face. What are we going to do when he reappears? He thinks to himself when Emilia mentions the cat-like spirit. He's Emilia's contracted spirit, so it's only natural that the topic of discussion would lead to him at some point. "How long?" He asks.
"Since I was…six or seven years old, maybe? We all lived in the forest together before it froze, I think."
"You think?" He says, noticing her having said it twice now. She sounds a bit unsure about her statements.
"My memory is fuzzy. I don't remember much from before that happened."
"What about your family?" He asks with concern.
"My family wasn't in the forest. But there was someone who was like a mother to me." Emilia responds as she puts a hand to her forehead while shutting her eyes, trying hard to remember. That's when her eyes widen in horror and she covers her mouth, "Huh? Wait, why…my mother?"
"You ok? Calm down, take it slow. What happened to all of them?"
Her hand covers her mouth and her words sound somewhat muffled, "The same…as me. They were frozen in ice! I lived in the forest, waiting with Puck for all of them to wake up. But that day never came. So…eventually I left the forest with Puck, met Roswaal, then joined the Royal Selection."
"Hold on, what does the Royal Selection have to do with the forest and ice?"
Emilia uncups her hand from her mouth and sits down on the floor. She stares at the various lesser spirits floating about, enthralled for a moment by how beautiful they look. Subaru follows her movements and sits down as well. Finally, she answers him, "Roswaal promised me that if I succeeded in taking the throne, then he'd unthaw the ice."
Subaru gasps slightly hearing what Roswaal promised her, "That's it?"
"...Yes." She replies meekly. "Does that…make you think less of me? All the other candidates are participating with solid goals and resolutions. However, my reason is so, so personal."
Subaru thinks back to when he had asked in the past why she was in the Royal Selection. At that time, the only answer she gave was a mixture between wanting to help make the kingdom better and a selfish reason. With that in mind, "Is that the selfish reason you were talking about?"
She nods. He shakes his head slightly, "There's nothing bad about wanting to save the people you care about. Beyond that, I believe you truly want to make the kingdom a better place, regardless of the selfish reasons that fueled joining the selection in the first place."
Finally, Emilia smiles, "Yeah…I do. I really do want to make the kingdom a better place for all. No matter if it's for my family…the demi-humans…the humans…or anyone else. Thank you…so much."
Upon saying that, Emilia, having slowly sneaked up next to Subaru as they were conversing, leans her head against his shoulder. He blushes a little in embarrassment from the contact. However, compared to the last time he's been this intimate with Emilia, something felt different about it. Something more…familial. He doesn't know how to really describe the feeling. At the very least, he doesn't feel nearly as embarrassed being touched by her as he expected to be.
Rather quickly, Emilia falls asleep on his shoulder. Subaru shifts his body so that her head lays on his lap, an exact reversal of what happened a few months earlier in Roswaal's mansion. "Hehe, she comforted me then, and now I'm comforting her. Who knew the roles would reverse like that."
His pupils slowly shift downwards while gazing at her sleeping face until they land upon the green crystal that is part of Emilia's necklace. To any outside observer this would look just like any old necklace. However, this necklace is extraordinary and unique. When not manifested, the crystal acts as a resting place for Puck.
Why hasn't he come out? I can't stay here and comfort Emilia until she passes the trials. I have to go to that mansion at all costs and save everyone there. Is there any way to force him out? What does he usually react to? Hmmm…
Thinking deeply about any possible method to force Puck out and make himself useful for once, an idea comes to mind. Once it does, Subaru deeply gulps. Why? Because this idea is risky, and could end up hurting Emilia.
Still, I have no better ideas. Of course I won't go too far, but I hope Puck reacts!
With shaky hands, Subaru moves them towards Emilia's neck. Each inch forward makes him feel more guilty than the previous inch, but pushes on. His fingers touch her soft, delicate skin. Then, slowly and carefully, he wraps his fingers around her neck. Bringing his hands closer and closer together as his fingers become more interlocked around her neck, he nearly begins his attempt at choking her before his fingers freeze instantly.
"Ah!" With a slight shriek, he pulls away from her neck immediately. Inwardly though, he's fully relieved. Looks like his risky plan has paid off. Still, that doesn't mean he isn't at least a little upset with how far he took it.
"Hey! You didn't have to go that far, did you?!"
"Oh, I don't know. Your love seems like the needy type, so I'm a little scared to let you stay beside Lia." A disembodied voice fills the air as the green crystal begins to glow. Usually this would be a reason to freak out, but thankfully Subaru recognized the voice instantly. It's Puck.
"Should I erase you?" Puck threatens Subaru casually as if it's nothing.
Wow. I'm really glad I decided to call him out while Rem isn't around. She surely wouldn't take this quietly. He thinks to himself before responding out loud, "Don't make threats like that so casually! Depending on who hears it, they may not take it so lightly!"
Sighing and shaking his head a little, the boy continues, "Anyway, Emilia-tan has been really struggling lately. Especially since a certain you-know-who ran off and refused to explain anything."
"I didn't exactly run off." Puck says defensively, "I've always been inside her. It was good of you to call me, though. That made me happy, Subaru."
"Still, that doesn't explain the sudden complete silence. Aren't you the one person in this world, or I suppose spirit, that doesn't want Emilia-tan to be sad?" Subaru asks in a sort of accusing tone.
"Of course. Lia becoming depressed means I would have failed as a father. However, I have my reasons for not appearing until now. Please understand."
Sensing Puck is unwilling to disclose the reasons for his absence until now, Subaru sighs again and decides to drop the subject. The fact that he is present is what matters the most right now.
"Fine. The fact you haven't disappeared entirely is good enough for me. Now Puck, I have a big favor to ask of you."
"...Whether I fulfill that request depends on what's best for Lia." Replying hesitantly and with a hint of coldness, Puck listens to Subaru's request.
"Emilia-tan is taking the trials right now and needs a lot of emotional support. While I would love to provide that for her, I unfortunately have more urgent business to attend to. Could you please not go into hiding again and actively assist her?"
Puck makes a loud "Hmmmm" sound, putting Subaru on edge. Is this a decision that requires a lot of effort to think about? He thinks with Puck's priorities and goals, the answer should be a no-brainer.
Eventually he does answer, "I cannot provide her with the emotional support you're asking for."
"What?! Why?!" Subaru cries out angrily, wishing deeply that Puck would manifest before his eyes so he could grab and shake him for giving such a terrible answer.
"I can sense you're angry with me, and I understand why. However, I do have Lia's best interests in mind. Don't worry, I will help her. Leave her to me."
Subaru raises an eyebrow, "You sure?"
"Are you doubting her father even now? How bold Subaru. Perhaps I really should freeze you in full."
"Seriously! Stop with the ominous threats! It's not like I ever doubted you in the first place when it comes to Emilia-tan's safety."
"I'm joking. Well, I'll see you around Subaru." The crystal's glowing light starts to fade when Subaru calls out:
"One more thing."
"What is it?"
"Don't ever let Rem see you again."
"Huh? Why?"
"...Reasons."
Curious but not caring enough to question Subaru further, Puck falls silent. The lesser spirits slowly return to the area. Why did they disappear? When Puck initially began to speak, the lesser spirits quickly fled the area, being instinctively afraid of the Great Spirit of Fire. Due to their absence, nearly all light vanished. The only remaining source of light was the crystal. Now with Puck gone, the lesser spirits no longer feel that intimidating presence and feel free to wander the forest once more.
Subaru picks up Emilia princess style and starts walking, hoping the available illumination is enough to bring him out of the forest. The return trip starts out very smoothly. The lesser spirits help out by laying out a path for Subaru to follow out of the forest.
However, once he gets near the edge of the forest, a gruff voice stops him dead in his tracks.
"Hey, where do ya think yer goin', smellin' like the witch?"
"No…" Subaru gulps in fear, "Not now!"
-Subaru's House-
Meanwhile, as Subaru was searching for Emilia, Rem takes Ram to her room for a private conversation between sisters. In general when it comes to siblings, these two got along really, really well. If one were to ask anyone who lives in Roswaal's mansion or certain residents in Arlam village which siblings got along the greatest, they would all say Rem and Ram without question. They never fought, respected each other greatly, and loved each other a lot.
So the tense atmosphere in which the two sisters are presently occupied is quite unusual to say the least. Ram sits herself down on the bed, expecting Rem to follow. However, Rem instead pulls out a desk chair from a corner of the room and sits across from her sister.
Ram steadily looks at her sister's face, awaiting for hopefully an explanation for her weird behavior both just a moment ago and throughout the entire night.
Rem meanwhile averts her gaze. She had been so confident about how she was going to bring up the topic, but now that they are alone, panic begins to set in.
Somehow, Ram must've noticed, because she breaks the silence with, "Why are you suddenly afraid to speak up? You boldly dragged me up here and into your room. What you have to say must be important. Right, it must be. Your behavior this evening has been peculiar and worrying to say the least. You've been sticking even closer to Barusu than usual. Tell me Rem, what has he-"
"Stop!" Rem clenches her fists and shouts, causing Ram to recoil back a little. Just when was the last time Ram was yelled at by her sister? "If you're intending to blame Subaru-kun for anything that's been happening, then keep it to yourself! I don't want to hear it!" Tears flow down Rem's cheeks as she's unable to hold back her sniffling.
Why did I do that? This isn't even why I brought her here… Rem muses guiltily. Shaking her head and looking at the fully silent Ram, she says, "I'm sorry. It's just…recently I've been learning more and more about Subaru-kun, more than I ever expected to learn in my entire lifetime. He's…been through a lot Nee-sama. I can't see him the same way as I used to. I have to…no. I want to support and protect him with everything I have!"
Ram thinks for a moment before responding, "I cannot understand what you see in Barusu. Truly, I can't. Honestly, I don't believe I'll ever be capable of doing so, nor would you want me to. However, I want you to be happy, so I will support you."
"Nee-sama…"
"Wait, I'm not finished. While I said I will support you, that doesn't mean I don't have concerns about how your relationship with Barusu is progressing."
"What do you mean?" Rem leans forward slightly, curious as to what her sister means.
Ram puts up a hand with two outstretched fingers, "Two things. First, Barusu's relationship with Emilia-sama, he is already in love with her; I will not tolerate Barusu mistreating you because of conflicting feelings or indecisiveness between you two. Second, while this hasn't become an issue yet, the amount of time you've spent or want to spend with Barusu has recently increased. In moderation, this is fine. However, you cannot forget about your duties to Roswaal-sama. You, as well as I, are his maids. We cannot forsake our duties for romance. We-"
"Not anymore." Rem proclaims boldly.
"What?"
"I refuse to be affiliated with the being known as Roswaal L. Mathers. While I still have to go through proper paperwork, I, myself, have already stepped down from being his maid."
With this bombshell of an announcement, Ram sits there silently, rapidly blinking her eyes. A look of stupefaction appears on her face. "W-What? Rem? What? You're kidding, right? There's no way-"
Ram cuts herself off as she feels a wave of sudden hatred and hostility enter into her mind. At first she has no idea where such strong emotions came from, but it quickly clicks. "Rem, these feelings…"
Rem asks in a somewhat low tone, "Nee-sama, do you know of a book called the Tome of Wisdom?"
Ram gasps, "How did-no! No! I have no idea."
Tears anew spring down Rem's cheeks. Rushing to Ram, she swiftly grabs her hands and squeezes them tightly, "So you knew! You KNEW about that book! Why?! Why lie to me? Why did you try to hide its existence from me?!"
"Rem-"
"How?! How long?! How long did you know?! You know he's trying to achieve an ultimate goal, right?! He'll do anything for that goal! He views us all as disposable tools! Did you know that Nee-sama?! Huh? Did you?!"
"Rem…please let go."
"No! Not until you give me an answer! Why was I left in the dark all these years?! Serving such a monster?! Answer me Ram! Answer me! We're sisters, aren't we?! Why didn't you ever tell me?!"
Hearing Rem use her actual name pangs Ram with a massive sense of guilt. On top of that, Ram's fingers are beginning to go numb due to how tightly Rem is gripping with her own, "Rem, please let go. Please. I'll tell you everything."
Finally, Rem lets go and silently returns to her seat. Her entire body trembles as she looks at Ram, anxiously awaiting an explanation she's been long overdue for.
"Rem…I…first of all, I'm sorry. It was never my intention to hide it from you. Roswaal-sama forced me to hide it from you."
"He threatened you?!" Rem seethes; her anger has reached new heights. Considering what happened in the last loop, Roswaal threatening Ram isn't all that surprising. But that didn't stop her from hating the Margrave even more than she already did.
"Yes. I accidentally discovered the book one day as I was cleaning his bedroom. When he found out, he explained how the book told him to let the Witch Cult attack our village and only to let the two of us live."
Rem gasps and narrows her eyes. Ever since she learned how the Tome of Wisdom worked and that Roswaal was in possession of one, this possibility had crept into her mind a handful of times. Yet she didn't want to believe it. She didn't want to believe Roswaal so cruel and heartless as to let an entire village, including her parents, perish when he could've obliterated every last Witch Cultist attacking the town with his vast amounts of power and mana.
A whole new level of scorn for Roswaal brews within her heart; It nearly reaches her mouth when Ram speaks first, "I know you're about to explode on me, but please let me continue. Like you're feeling now, I was likewise furious with Roswaal-sama. I couldn't believe he let them all die like that when he could've saved them all. I scorned and threw numerous insults at him. It got physical, with me launching a windblade at him when he threatened your life after I told him I was not going to help him achieve his ultimate goal."
Rem's hands tremble as Ram explains the circumstances, "But that was all it was, a simple case of lashing out. We both know how powerful he is. All I could do was convince him to enter a contract with me."
Once she said this, Rem looks directly into her sister's eyes with shock, "You…entered into a contract with him?"
She nods, "In exchange for your safety, I would help him in achieving his goal. Once he achieves it, I'm allowed to do as I please with him."
"No…" Rem buries her head into her arms, feeling newfound despair. "Because of me…you…"
"Please raise your head Rem! It's all fine now."
"What do you mean this is all fine?! How is this in any way fine?" She yells despondently.
Ram places a hand on Rem's chin and lifts it until they are at the same eye level again, the latter giving a smile, "Because I'm happy with where I am now. I no longer hate Roswaal-sama. It was painful at first, that's for certain. But…I don't know how exactly it happened myself. My feelings of hatred for him disappeared as the years went by. Additionally, he's done lots of wonderful things. He's never mistreated us, always being wise and fair, brough in Emilia-sama despite her extreme ostracization, and-"
"No."
With a low growl, Rem rejects her words. Ram instantly becomes quiet, with a tiny bead of sweat going down her forehead.
Events from the last loop play in Rem's head. A confrontation with Roswaal turning into one of the worst gore fests she's ever personally witnessed. He had no reason to kill her sister. No reason at all. Being in the way of Garfiel? He could've used any myriad of magic to work around her and reach Garfiel. But no, he chose the most brutal, and in a way, laziest option. And for what? Did he perhaps suspect Ram in some way as well? Is that why he killed her?
"That's only how it looks on the surface, Nee-sama. That clown cares nothing about any of us. If any of us were to get in his way or are no longer useful to him, then we'll get disposed of like garbage. I guarantee the only reason he did anything 'kind' was because that book told him to. It's dangerous to remain associated with him."
Ram returns to her original position on the bed and tilts her head down, "Rem I…I don't disagree that book has led him down a darker road. However…I believe he still has goodwill within him. He cares about us somewhere deep down. There's more that matters to him than his ultimate goal."
Clasping Ram's right hand with both of her own, Rem is on the verge of breaking out in tears again, "Nee-sama…please, I beg of you. Leave Roswaal and find a new job. Either as a maid of someone like Emilia-sama or Subaru-kun, or something else entirely."
"I'd rather die than become Barusu's personal maid." She scoffs before lightening her tone, "Emilia-sama is an option, but I've already dedicated myself to Roswaal-sama. Even if I wanted to leave, the contract would forbid me to. I must help him achieve his goal, even if it takes the rest of my life."
"And you're…alright with this?" She asks with near total disbelief.
Ram nods, "Yes. I'm content with my current life. As long as you are safe, living happily and in good health, then I could ask for nothing more."
"There you go again!"
"Huh?"
"As long as I'm safe, happy, and in good health. Is that all that matters to you?! Does your own life mean nothing to you?!"
Vividly recalling an earlier loop where she overheard Ram say that she's fine with whatever Roswaal does to her as long as she's safe and sound, Rem instantly explodes once more.
Ram responds, "In what way did I insinuate I don't value my own life? Of course I value my life."
"...Nevermind. Sorry. I'm very glad you do. Is there no way to have you reconsider your decision?"
Ram shakes her head, "As of this moment, no. But Rem, this may seem insensitive, but I must ask, how did you figure out about the Tome of Wisdom's existence and that Roswaal-sama holds one? I cannot imagine him being one to leave it unguarded."
Rem thinks long and hard about whether to tell Ram the full truth or keep mostly quiet about it. Obviously, due to the taboo of Return by Death and loops in general, she couldn't reveal the real reason behind her initial uncoverings of the Tome of Wisdom. But for everything that didn't rely on loops, authorities, or the like, just how much should she tell?
Finally, she answers, "I had some help, that is all."
Ram frowns deeply, "You refuse to tell me?"
"I'm sorry, but that is all I'm willing to share."
"You…don't trust me?" Ram says slowly with a twinge of pain in her throat.
Rem instantly wanted to retort against that and opened her mouth to do so, but no words would spew forth. Does she really not trust her sister, her only remaining family member? The only person she could share the vast majority of her secrets with for so many years? After thinking deeply on it for a moment, she comes to the answer of yes, she doesn't fully trust her sister anymore.
It's been slow and gradual, but ever since taking the first trial, Rem has felt a newfound sense of independence from Ram. The differences were miniscule and not noticed at first. But as time went on and Rem continued to learn more about Subaru's dark past, she began to see other sides to her sister that she'd never seen before.
If Rem died, and Ram presumed it was Subaru's fault in some way, she would kill him without hesitation. If Rem herself decided to torture Subaru, Ram would not try to dissuade her from doing so. Instead, she would willingly let it go, with the only interference being to end the victim's suffering if she felt it had gone on for too long.
Of course, that didn't mean Ram was totally heartless. She took great care of Subaru in the loop that Rem was erased by the White Whale. Subaru also explained many great things she had done for him, like teaching him how to do chores and learning to read and write. Rem of course knew of Ram's more endearing traits. They did live their entire lives together after all. But Rem was not used to seeing Ram's more morally questionable decisions.
Now with the newfound revelations of Ram having known Roswaal owned the Tome of Wisdom all these years and still willing to serve him despite knowing what he did to their village, Rem couldn't understand it. She could not understand it at all. Ram and Subaru's willingness to forgive the people who wronged them so heavily was something Rem has never been able to ascertain.
"I have a lot to learn from them both." She mutters to herself. At the very least, she was able to forgive Otto for what he did to Subaru, so that's a start. People like Roswaal though? She may never be able to forgive people like him.
"What did you say?" Ram asks, hearing the mumbling but unable to make out any words.
"Just a mumble, don't mind it. Now…I really want to say I trust you completely. I really do Nee-sama. But…we serve different masters now."
"Rem, if there is something you do not want to convey to Roswaal-sama, I will honor your wishes. I'm not so loyal to him that I would go behind your back like that. However, if you ever intend to harm him, then I retain the right to tell him that and attempt to terminate those attempts." Ram's speech slowly grows sterner with time.
Rem sighs in understanding. She says in her own stern tone, "I must extend the same to you Ram. If you or that clown ever have any inclination of harming Subaru-kun in any way, then there will be repercussions, understood?"
Ram nods reluctantly, "Though you hate him now, please stop referring to Roswaal-sama as a clown. It's degrading and hurts my ears."
"Stop referring to Subaru-kun as 'Barusu' and I will."
"...Carry on then."
The two become quiet and have trouble looking at one another properly. This conversation ultimately went in a different direction than Rem had hoped it would go in. Ram's loyalty to Roswaal is much greater than she had anticipated. And that was factoring in the fact that Ram knew about his involvement, or lack thereof, with rescuing their village.
I suppose I can't say too much considering Subaru-kun forgave me for doing something even more horrific to him. But still, so many lives were lost! If that clown had acted more proactively that day, everyone in the village would be alive now! It's all his fault! Subaru-kun would've looked for a way to save everyone in my village, no doubt! That book! If that damn book hadn't told him to only save us, maybe he would've saved us all! Everything he needs to know for his plan…it's in that book…
Rem grips her hands tightly on the helm of her maid outfit, "Nee-sama, I can't stop you from choosing to serve that clown. Even if I'm fully against it…that is your choice. However, there is one thing I will not budge on, no matter what."
Ram looks attentively at her sister, gulping slightly, "What is it?"
"That Tome of Wisdom he has. I want it destroyed, burned, and turned to ashes. Not a trace of it remaining. You said it too, didn't you? That book is leading him down a dark path. As long as he has it, he will do whatever it tells him, no matter how immoral it is."
"I-" Ram is cut off by a sudden nearby commotion
"You think yer gonna help my amazin' self?! Hah! Big words from a scrawny boy that smells like a cultist an' uses others to save his own skin! Get back 'ere!"
"It's true! I want to help you and the others! So please calm down-ACK!"
"Subaru-kun!"
From the gruff sounding voice and manner of speech, they both deduce it's Garfiel. Following that is a yell from Subaru, prompting Rem to jump up and race out the front door as quickly as her legs will take her.
Now alone, Ram briefly thinks about what Rem had just said.
Destroy that book huh? Destroying the book…yes. Rem is right. I should've done it sooner. If he no longer follows that book, then he can change the methods he's used up to this point and make amends.
With that optimistic thought, Ram gets up and follows her sister outside.
-Author's Corner-
I'm still here! I'm very sorry for the long wait! I've been having a lack of confidence in my writing lately. That, along with procrastination, led the chapter to being delayed far longer than I ever wanted it to be. But here it is! I hope the wait was worth it! The next chapter will not take four months to come out.
I have a few notes for this chapter. The conversation between Subaru and Emilia is largely canon based, but I sprinkled some original lines in there. Not to mention it takes place in a totally different area this time (a forest and not in a house).
I did originally think the talk between Rem and Ram would've ended more hostile than it actually did. However, the bond between the two sisters is one that is not easily broken, even if they work for different masters who are not on the most friendly of terms with one another. Still, there is clearly a rift between them that wasn't there before. The two are very unlikely to return to the exact relationship they once held with one another.
A huge thanks to dirkmcdirt for beta reading this chapter!
Ferrum Sanguis Pulvis Ignis: Thank you! Yes, compared to the canon story, I believe Subaru and Rem's emotional bond is even deeper. Arc 6 feels like such a long way away haha. If I ever do that get that far, I believe you're correct. Rem would do absolutely everything in her power to help Subaru regain his memories and making sure he doesn't fall off the deep end. Finally, don't apologize! I'm very happy to see you comment at all and thank you for reading this fanfic!
danielsantiago4545: Thank you! There's a reason why Subaru and Rem is my favorite pairing in Re:Zero :).
Deathenglegamers1144: Thanks! I think you'll like what I have planned for Roswaal then. As for Ram, she is unable to separate from Roswaal. She still believes there's some amount of goodwill in his heart and that he can be steered on the right path.
TheEndBoss: Thank you so much! Even though the wait was long, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
Maximum Rhapsody: In a way at least, yes. Ram has some amount of romantic love for Roswaal, even if she doesn't directly state it. Her and Roswaal's bond is far, far weaker and admittedly sketchier compared to Subaru and Rem's, but it's the best correlation she has. And yes! Rem has indeed figured out the full truth regarding what Roswaal's role was in saving her and Ram from the village.
Lancehol144: Only one way to find out!
demon god noir: Thank you! I know, time flies by fast doesn't it? I hope you enjoyed the chapter!
Masked weirdo: No deaths in this chapter either! Woo! Thanks for the praise!
Sarcasm Sage 626: I'm not sure if you've read this far, but if you have, I hope you've enjoyed the story up to this point!