Chapter 34
~Spellbound~
The waiting room in Dr. Boyan's office is small and cozy. Cushy chairs, low lighting, and soft music create a soothing space. Despite this, my leg restlessly bobs up and down as I scroll my Insta feed.
The door to the inner sanctum opens—my first thought being this was a short session—and Dr. Boyan pops her head out. "Edward, would you join us?"
I feel like a deer in headlights, and I point at my chest. "Me?" As if there's anyone else in the room she could be talking to.
She smiles and nods. I follow her inside. The office is tranquil and welcoming with soft lighting. A fountain in the corner provides the soothing sound of bubbling water.
Bella sits on the plush couch, wringing her hands. When our gazes meet, she quickly looks away, a blush creeping over her face.
Dr. Boyan invites me to sit across from her in a chair perpendicular to Bella. I distract myself for a moment by taking in the therapist. She's in her mid-forties with a slim build and dark, chin-length hair. She seems professional but relaxed in a cream, button-down blouse tucked into gray slacks and comfortable-looking loafers.
Bella continues to stare at her lap.
"Edward, we've been discussing you quite a bit, and I thought it was a good time in Bella's therapy to bring you in."
My gaze flicks between Bella and Dr. Boyan. "Oh."
"You're an important part of Bella's life, wouldn't you agree?" Dr. Boyan relaxes into her chair, one leg crossed over the other. Her expression is open and inquisitive.
"I—yes?"
"You seem confused. How can I help?"
"I honestly don't know." I slap my palms against my knees. Bella cringes, and I immediately feel like an asshole. "Bella, I'm sorry."
Dr. Boyan smiles, leaning forward. "What are you sorry about, Edward?"
"The only thing I want is to help Bella, to make things better for her, but I feel like"—I close my eyes for a moment, shaking my head—"I feel helpless."
Bella's gaze snaps to mine. "Really?"
"I want to protect you from Phoenix, and I'm pissed at Jimmy for not telling us the truth from the beginning. I have a lot of guilt about . . . about my feelings for you." I swallow hard. It's not easy to say this at all, let alone in front of Bella's therapist.
"Can you share what those feelings are, Edward?" Dr. Boyan asks.
I shoot her a look, annoyed by her intrusiveness. "I'm not comfortable, Doc! What's your endgame? Did you bring me in here so you can tell Bella I'm a bad idea? That it's too soon for feelings, and she needs to heal first? Because I've thought of all that! I've tried to stay away, but we live together and work together and"—I drop my head in my hands, lowering my voice to a whisper—"God help me, I'm falling for her."
Bella leans over and strokes my arm. "Oh, Edward."
I glance up, and Bella smiles, her eyes shining with happy tears. This releases some of the stress I've been suffering. I move to the couch, sitting beside her, and lace our fingers. "I know I'm supposed to be, but I'm not sorry I kissed you." I glance at Dr. Boyan. "Is it okay that I'm not sorry?"
She smiles. "Most therapists would suggest healing oneself before embarking on a new relationship, but these are not usual circumstances. Most women didn't live on Fire Island, nor are they on the run from an abusive dominant. Most women haven't had their freedom purchased by a rich man who pushes her into another man's arms because he's sick." She looks between us. "I'm not saying it's a good idea for you to begin a relationship right now. Bella has a lot of healing to do. She needs to be her own person and make decisions because she wants to, not because someone expects her to. From what Bella has told me, Edward, you try to keep her safe while respecting her autonomy. If the two of you decide to move forward, I recommend pacing yourselves and coming for some couples therapy."
Bella frowns. "Couples therapy? Isn't that for people with problems?"
Dr. Boyan nods. "Most of the time, the problems come as a relationship progresses, but the two of you are a unique case. There are already issues that require careful navigation. My sense is that both of you share the level of commitment necessary to give it a try."
Bella seems uncertain, casting a furtive glance my way.
I tighten my grip on her hand. "Bella, if you want me to step back, I will. If you want to try this, I'm all in."
A slow smile spreads across her face and lights up her eyes. "Let's do this."
~*oOo*~
We hold hands on the way back to Inkspiration. Bella peeks up at me often, smiling shyly. The sun catches the rich colors in her hair, and I grin when I realize it's okay for me to admire her without feeling guilty. She's not mine—yet—but she can be.
The rest of the day is busy as hell. I don't have time to get up front to see her, but we exchange a few texts.
Thinking about you ~E
Same here ~B
Can I take you to dinner tonight? ~E
Denali's? ~B
I was thinking of somewhere quieter ~E
Sounds perfect ~B
It's a date! ~E
A sense of excitement brews inside me. I have a date with Bella tonight. Even though I see her every day, and we live in the same apartment, this is a huge step. This is me following my heart and Bella taking control of her life.
"So, what's up with you and Bella?" Rose hovers in my doorway, arms crossed.
I sigh, not in the mood for more of Rose's bullshit. "I'd rather not."
"Rather not what?" She raises an eyebrow.
"Talk to you about it." I busy myself prepping for my next client, hoping Rose will take the hint and leave.
No such luck. The tick of her high heels comes closer as she walks slowly across the room and leans against the counter.
"I'm not here to hassle you, but I am worried for Bella. She's pretty vulnerable right now." Rose's tone is gentle, not accusing, and I can't bring myself to be angry with her.
"Thanks. We're trying things out. I have the go-ahead from her therapist. In fact, we'll also be seeing Dr. Boyan together."
"You are going to a therapist?" she asks, her forehead wrinkling.
"Why is that so hard to believe? Anyway, there's a lot to unpack on both sides, and I'm willing to do this. She's worth it."
Rose nods her head and smiles at me. "Way to step up. I'm proud of you. If you guys need anything at all—even someone to bounce shit off of—I'm here."
"Thanks. That means a lot to me, and I know it will mean a lot to Bella."
The rest of the crew is more subtle. Emmett sends me a GIF with a guy wiggling his eyebrows. Jasper looks worried and tells me to be careful. Seth keeps grinning and winking at me.
Ali texts me late in the afternoon.
I heard you're giving things a go with Bella. I adore her. You know this. But please, please, please be careful. You may be a bigger target for Phoenix than she is. ~A
Thank you, sis. We're being careful! I'm taking her to dinner tonight. Recs for someplace quiet and romantic? ~E
Yes! There's a new place that opened up at the seaport. Second floor dining with a view of the water. It's called Fondeaux ~A
I look up the restaurant and find a romantic setting with high-backed, round booths with a burner in the middle of each table. Perfection. I do a fist pump and call to make a reservation.
You rock! I take back all the horrible things I've said about you. I made a reservation for tonight. ~E
Wow, I see how it is. Seriously though, I hope you have a wonderful evening. ~A
After my last client of the day, I find my sister out front chatting with Bella. They're whispering and giggling. They look like friends, and my heart swells. When Bella notices me, she freezes. My sister glances over, looking like the cat that swallowed the canary.
"Bella's getting ready at my place tonight. What time is your reservation?"
"Seven thirty."
"You can pick her up at seven. Don't be late."
I look into Bella's eyes. "I can't wait."
Bella drives home with Ali and Jasper and is whisked away into their apartment, leaving me on my own for two hours. I get dressed and run up the street to buy a bouquet of flowers. When it's time to pick up Bella for our date, my heart pounds in my ears, and my chest is tight. My hands are sweaty, and I realize I feel like a teenager meeting his girl's parents for the first time.
Shaking my head, I tell myself to man up, and I knock on Ali's door. Jasper opens it and grins, inviting me in. He leads me to the couch in the living room and we sit. I still feel nervous.
"Nice touch." Jasper points to the flowers.
"Oh, yeah . . . thanks. What's Ali done to Bella? I hope she didn't go too crazy."
He shrugs. "Haven't seen either of them since we got home."
"Wow. Okay."
He leans over and punches me in the arm. "Get a hold of yourself, bro. You're fine."
I laugh uneasily. "Thanks, man. This is hella weird, gotta say."
He turns the TV on, and we get caught up in a game, laughing and commenting on the plays.
A throat clears, and my gaze snaps to the bedroom doorway. It's Ali, eclipsing someone slightly taller than her. Jasper mutes the TV, and I stand, grabbing the flowers.
Bella lags slightly behind, but Ali grasps her hand, whispering something to her, and then she stands tall, stepping forward with confidence.
I'm blown away. Bella's hair is pulled back in several intricate braids, the rest of her silken locks falling in gentle waves over her shoulders and back. She has makeup on, but it's understated and natural, which is the way her delicate features look best. She smiles at me, her skin flushing, and I realize I haven't even looked below her neck yet.
The knee-length, burgundy cross-neck dress hugs her curves to perfection. Matching pumps finish off the outfit.
"You're beautiful." I come around the coffee table and hand her the pink and white blooms I've been holding in a death grip.
"Oh, thank you! They're lovely!" Bella brings them up to her nose and inhales, her eyes closing with pleasure. "They smell heavenly."
Ali steps forward and offers to take the flowers. "I'll put these in a vase for you."
"Thank you, Ali!" Bella wraps her arms around my sister and hugs her tight. "For everything," she whispers with an adorable giggle.
I hold my arm out to Bella. "Shall we?"
Once we're in the hall outside the apartment, Bella turns to me, ghosting her hands over my shoulders and down the front of my dress shirt. She gives my tie a light tug and smiles up at me. "You look so handsome."
I wrap my arm around her. "You look gorgeous." Following one of the braids with the tip of my finger, I say, "I love your hair like this." My gaze falls to her berry-stained lips, and my breath catches.
She notices, looking into my eyes for a moment before allowing her lids to slip closed, an invitation. Cupping her cheek, I press my lips to hers, and we share a lingering kiss that leaves us both breathless.
"Wow," she whispers.
I imagine what her soft skin would feel like beneath my fingertips. "We should go before we miss our reservation." My voice is husky.
I'm not sure what she sees in my eyes, but after a long moment, she nods.
We hold hands on the short drive to the seaport. The stars twinkle in the clear night sky as we cross the paved plaza to the entrance of Fondeaux.
When Bella sees where we're going, she squeals with delight. "I've been wanting to try this place! I love fondue!"
The hostess seats us in one of the high-back booths, and Bella looks around, excited. "This is so great!"
Our waitress comes to the table to introduce herself, and I order a bottle of white wine. We choose the Swiss fondue, which comes with a variety of bread cubes and vegetables.
During the first course, we don't converse much. Bella oohs and aahs, describing the combination of wine and cheese as a "taste explosion." I enjoy watching her face come alive from each new flavor. Her enthusiasm makes my heart swell. When she's like this, it's hard to remember the abuse she comes from.
Once we finish the appetizer, the waitress brings out a platter of chicken, fish, and a variety of sauces. We spear pieces of meat and dip the skewers into the broth to cook. The excitement in her eyes reminds me of my sister on Christmas morning when we were kids. Ali looked at everything with enchantment, not sure what to open first.
"Thank you, Edward. This is amazing." Bella sips her wine.
"I love seeing you relaxed." I lay my hand over hers, rubbing my thumb in slow circles. "Tell me what you dream of?"
"Oh, um . . . freedom, I guess."
"No, I mean if nothing was in your way, what are your dreams?"
"Well, I want to own my own line of florist shops. We would provide unique and exotic flower arrangements for all occasions. And I'd partner with other businesses so we could have special packages in one place. Weddings, anniversaries, baptisms—you name it."
"That sounds like a great idea! I love it."
"Yeah?" Her eyes sparkle.
"You should do it."
"Oh, I don't know." She looks down and fiddles with her napkin.
"Hey." I touch her arm gently. "You are a beautiful, talented woman. This can be more than a dream for you."
"But Phoenix . . ."
"Won't be a problem forever. We're going to find that bastard and make sure he leaves you alone for good."
"He thinks he owns me, Edward."
"Well, he doesn't." I bring her hand to my lips and place a kiss on it. "I'm not going anywhere. I'll protect you. My family and friends will protect you. Phoenix doesn't stand a chance."
"Okay," she whispers, and the hope filling her eyes is everything to me.
Dessert is a decadent mix of chocolate, caramel, and nuts served with a platter of fruit, pound cake, marshmallows, and graham crackers. Bella moans when the confection hits her tongue, and I'm instantly hard. I do times tables in my head to distract myself from the growing problem below my waist.
Bella stares. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
She laughs. "Liar." Then she feeds me a dipped strawberry.
I chew slowly, enjoying the tang and sweetness while I try to think of a good excuse for my behavior.
"So? Are you going to tell me what's up with you?" She pops a dipped marshmallow into her mouth, and her eyes half close with pleasure.
Fuck me. I can't take it. All intelligence falls away, and I point at her. "That. That's what's wrong. You moan with pleasure over fondue, and I'm jealous."
Bella giggles, her eyes going wide. "You mean my plan worked?"
"Wait, what?"
"My evil plan of seduction."
"Are you messing with me?"
She giggles again. "Yes, totally. Is it wrong to say I'm flattered and find it sexy as hell though?" Her expression becomes earnest. "No man has ever wanted me. Just me. They always want what I can give them. They're attracted to me because of what I will do with them. Even Jimmy bought me. But not you, Edward. You've cared for me and respected me. You fought our attraction because you thought it was best for me. I can't tell you how much that means." Tears glisten in her beautiful eyes.
"I don't want to mess this up, Bella. I'm glad you realize I want more with you. I want you to know I'm willing to wait as long as it takes."
Dr. Boyan said Bella needs to retake control of her body; she needs to learn not to perform for others but to find what she truly desires. The therapist further suggested that we take sex off the table for the foreseeable future. We both agreed at the time, but I can see it's going to be a challenge. It seems Bella might be having similar thoughts.
After dinner, we stroll along the walkway at the edge of the seaport and gaze at the stars. There's a cool breeze coming off the water, and I insist that she wear my jacket. Part of me revels at the sight of her enveloped in my clothing. I lean against the metal railing and pull Bella close. It's hard to see her expression in the darkness, so I cup her face and move in slowly, brushing my lips across hers. "Is this all right?"
"Yes." She wraps her arms around my neck. "Kiss me." Her voice is breathy.
I can't deny her, so I nod. "You have to tell me if it's too much."
"Okay, but it won't be." Her fingers grip the back of my hair, sending a shiver down my spine.
Our mouths meet tentatively, with sweet, barely-there kisses. Bella fists my shirt and presses against me, taking our flirtation to the next level. I wrap my hands around the swell of her hips and tug her closer, feeling the burn from where we connect all the way to the root of my manhood. She parts her lips in invitation and sighs my name.
I sweep my tongue inside the velvet warmth of her mouth, kissing her deeply, and she meets me stroke for stroke. The soft sounds she makes cause the fire she ignited inside me to flare hotter. It becomes hard to know where I end and she begins. We meld and grope and fight to get closer. I barely notice when my jacket slips off her shoulders and puddles on the ground behind her. We're generating enough heat to hold the chill of the night at bay. Breaking away from her lips, I press kisses along her jaw and whisper in her ear, "You feel so good in my arms."
"I wonder . . . if it's close to how good . . . you feel in mine." She pants the words hot against my neck, sending a frisson of pleasure up my spine. "I want you to take me home, Edward."
I pull back and gaze at her heavily lidded eyes. She doesn't seem to be saying she wants our date to come to an end. Bella wants me to take her home. Every fiber of my being screams that I should scoop her in my arms and rush her back to the apartment where I can lay her down and ravish her. My conscience lifts a finger and tells me to hold up, listing all the reasons I shouldn't. The tug of war continues for several seconds, and my conscience is losing the battle fast.
"I can see the wheels turning behind those emerald eyes. Don't overthink it."
I shake my head. "If I bring you home right now, I'm not sure I can control myself."
"That's the idea," she whispers with a husky laugh.
My control is hanging by a thread, and Bella is beautiful and tempting as fuck. Before I can answer, she crushes her lips to mine, sending any thought of behaving myself out the window.
I'm in deep shit.
~oOo~
Date night! Edward and Bella become closer and make progress in the romance department. What do you think of the couples therapy and Edward's willingness to do whatever Bella needs? The threat of Phoenix still looms large, and there are some tough moments ahead, but this will be HEA!
To those of you who wait patiently for updates and send me messages of encouragement, thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Fanfic still isn't sending out email alerts. Maybe they never will again. The fanfic app seems to post updates. I post teasers and links to updates on Facebook in the No Rules Twilight Fan Fiction, The Twilight Fanfiction Finders, and It All Started With Twilight groups.
Thanks and gratefulness as always to my awesome betas, SassySue (chayasara) and Wendy (wmr1601) and prereader extraordinaire Aleea (Aleeab4u). These ladies make my stuff much more presentable! (Translation: save me from sounding like a blathering fool)