Chapter 35

~Intimate~

The drive home is full of anticipation tempered by my fear of screwing this up. Bella is sitting as close to me as possible, sometimes laying her head against my shoulder, other times glancing up at me with want. I can't talk about this while driving unless I want to crash the damn car, so I remain silent, keeping an arm around her, and kissing the top of her head every so often.

This is really happening. Bella has feelings for me. She asked me to take her home, and her meaning was pretty clear.

We kiss in the elevator on the way up, barely breaking apart while I fumble for my keys to unlock the loft door. Once we're inside, Bella grabs hold of my tie and tugs me close, leaning up to kiss me again. She shrugs off my jacket, showing the gleaming curve of a bare shoulder and peeks of creamy skin between the strips of fabric criss-crossing her heaving chest.

And then her hand lands on my belt buckle.

I cup her face between my palms and pull back from the kiss. "Bella . . . we need to slow down."

"Why?" she asks breathlessly.

"Dr. Boyan said—"

Bella's lips move against mine, interrupting my words. "Dr. Boyan isn't here."

I gaze into her cinnamon eyes and find desire and determination in them. I experience the same sentiments below my belt, and all reasoning and common sense fly out the window.

I scoop her up in my arms and head into her room, laying her on top of the down comforter. Sitting on the end of the bed, I slip her shoes off, caressing her arches. I place a kiss on her ankle and work my way up her leg slowly, alternating kisses and licks. Her skin is divine satin on my tongue. As I slide up her body, I tug the hem of her dress, raising it slowly in case she wants to stop. She doesn't. I receive sweet sighs and sounds of encouragement. I caress the outsides of her thighs, sliding my hands up until the soft fabric of the dress pools around her waist. I thought I was hard before, but it's nothing compared to the response when my gaze lands on the thin strip of burgundy lace that barely covers her sex.

"Oh, Bella. You're killing me."

Her response is a throaty laugh and a sensuous wiggle of her hips.

I'm done for. I kiss and lick my way between her thighs until my lips land on damp lace, eliciting a gasp from Bella. The scent of her arousal is heady, and I want to bury myself inside her. Sliding my finger along the edge of the lace, I tug it aside gently until she's bared to me—to my eyes, then lips, then tongue.

"Edward, what are you . . . oh, my God!" Bella writhes beneath me, arching her back and gripping my hair, moaning as she fights to keep me between her legs. I revel in her response, in the sweet sounds she makes as she comes apart on my tongue.

When Bella comes down, I kiss a path over her navel, pushing the dress higher until I realize she's not wearing a bra. Fuck me. Both rosy peaks strain for attention. I close my lips over one and roll the other between my thumb and index finger. I'm rewarded with a moan, and she arches, pushing her tits further into my mouth and hand.

Kissing a path up the side of her neck, I nibble along the edge of her jaw until my lips land on hers. I kiss her hard, parting her lips with my tongue and stroking it against hers, allowing her to enjoy the decadent flavor I indulged in between her thighs.

I have a roaring hard-on pressing painfully against the zipper of my slacks, but this isn't about my gratification. This is all for Bella—to know she's wanted, to receive without being expected to give, to realize her worth. Doing math in my head takes some of the pressure off, but just being in the presence of this goddess is enough to keep me perpetually hard.

I continue kissing Bella while I reach out to tug the fabric of her dress down, regretfully covering her gorgeous body. When she puts a hand on my chest and presses, I pull back immediately and look into her arousal-hazed eyes.

"Why are you stopping?" she asks breathlessly.

"Because I'm human, and you're too beautiful for words."

"We can keep going. I . . . want to keep going."

I caress her cheek and kiss her deeply. "Bella, tonight is about you. My only goal is to give you pleasure without taking for myself. Dr. Boyan is a cock-blocker, but she was right."

"But you didn't get anything out of this. Aren't you . . . aren't you upset?"

I place one hand on either side of her and straighten my arms until I'm hovering above her. Bella gazes into my eyes with a mixture of fear and hope. "I got plenty out of tonight. I got to know a beautiful, fascinating woman better. You gifted me with your trust and openness. And I got to touch and taste you." I allow all the heat and desire I'm feeling to emanate from my gaze, and I can tell when understanding dawns because her eyes fill with happy tears. I roll until I'm on my side and pull her into my arms. "You never have to perform again, Bella. From now on, it's about what you want and need."

She rests her cheek against my chest. "Nobody's ever asked or cared about what I want," she whispers.

"Get used to it, beautiful."

We lay there wrapped in each other's arms for a long time. Bella undoes a few buttons on my shirt and skims the pads of her fingers over my bare chest. After a time, she takes in a breath and lets it out slowly. "Can I tell you something?"

"Anything."

"Nobody has ever done that to me."

"Done what?"

She hesitates a few seconds before answering. "Made me come with their mouth."

"No one has ever gone down on you?" I ask incredulously.

"No." A sensual smile lights her face, and she whispers, "I loved it though. It was . . . I don't even have the words for it right now." A soft blush warms her cheeks.

I'm the one who doesn't have words, but I'd like to pummel any man who made her feel less than, who didn't consider her pleasure. I don't ask her about Jimmy, but if he was frequenting a deviant place like Fire Island, I'm guessing his tastes aren't typical.

"Edward, would you stay with me tonight? Hold me?"

"Of course."

Bella takes an Inskpiration T-shirt out of the dresser and puts it on the bed. She looks me in the eye and holds her arms overhead. Taking a steadying breath, I lift the dress over her head, trying not to gawk at her perfect body. Despite my best efforts, the sight of her perky, rose-tipped breasts and the curve of her hips is burned into my mind. I grab the T-shirt and lock gazes with her as I slide it over her head.

After I change into a T-shirt and sweatpants, we go into the bathroom together and brush our teeth. Bella puts a dab of toothpaste on the end of my nose and giggles. It's such a normal couple moment, sending a feeling of elation through me.

We return to Bella's room and turn down the bed. She smiles shyly at me and slides under the covers. I hold her in my arms, our legs tangled together. The best feeling in the world is being wrapped around this beautiful, innocent, broken woman. It's a privilege.

"I feel safe." Bella says this with surprise in her tone, which makes me want to weep.

"You are safe. I won't let anything happen to you."

She looks at me for a long moment. "I believe you." Her brows scrunch up. "There are things you don't know about me, Phoenix, and Jim. Some of it, I promised never to tell anyone."

"You don't have to tell me anything, but I'm here to listen if you decide to."

"Thank you." Bella kisses me long and slow. Just when the gentleman in me is about to explode, she nestles her head on my chest and wraps her arm across my middle. "Goodnight, Edward."

"'Night, Bella."

She falls asleep quickly, her breathing even, her expression smooth and untroubled. She trusts me to take care of and protect her. I have every intention of living up to what she needs, but I can't ward off the apprehension that tightens my chest, and I lie awake for a long time.

~*oOo*~

A/N: I couldn't bear to bring drama into their special moment. Never fear—drama will resume in the next chapter. Give me your thoughts on the care Edward took with Bella. He's in so deep. Iceberg ahead, but there will be enough room on the raft for both of them! HEA!

To those of you who wait patiently for updates and send me messages of encouragement, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Fanfic is spotty with email alerts. Maybe they will never be fully funtional again. The fanfic app seems to post updates. I post teasers and links to updates on Facebook in the No Rules Twilight Fan Fiction, The Twilight Fanfiction Finders, and It All Started With Twilight groups.

Thanks and gratefulness as always to my awesome betas, SassySue (chayasara) and Wendy (wmr1601) and prereader extraordinaire Aleea (Aleeab4u). These ladies make my stuff much more presentable! (Translation: save me from sounding like a blathering fool)