A/N: I'm going on a trip for a week encompassing two Sundays, so I tried to write two chapters in advance. I only succeeded in writing one big chapter. Either I'm gonna have to do some writing on my trip, or next chapter will be really short. I'll try to get it to some sort of decent length. After the events of this chapter, that hopefully won't be too hard.
Yay!
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Itachi
Itachi stayed out of sight as much as possible that night. His heart beat fast and his hands shook. There was a very real possibility that someone would ask him his thoughts. Itachi prayed to whatever scraps of narrative convenience remained to prevent that from happening.
He spent as much time as possible in the backyard and tried to dissociate from his feelings while getting dinner. After taking his dinner outside and eating it, he wondered where he was going to spend the night. He would have to sleep in an entirely different building to avoid waking Clone Hidan. Sasori's shed seemed like his best option. Night had fallen hard; it was too late to travel.
But the question turned out not to matter. Clone Hidan walked out the back door. Using his phone as a flashlight, he found his way to Itachi's side. He sat there and allowed a few moments of silence to pass. Then he asked, "What's going on?"
How much can I safely tell him? How much do I want to tell him? Itachi hesitated. "I'm afraid," he said at last. "Spoken words caused narrative convenience to fall apart. I am afraid that I might also wield this power."
"Hmm…" Hidan considered it. "Yeah, you just might. But there's nothing wrong with power. You just have to get a handle on it."
Itachi nodded automatically. If it was only that simple.
"That was not helpful advice at all, was it?"
Itachi let his shoulders slump. No amount of fake smiling or automatic nodding could disguise his true feelings. "It was not."
"Anything I can do to improve it?"
Itachi considered options. Several minutes passed. Eventually he said, "I have no reason to think that our thoughts are not as influential as our words. I can control my mouth, but I cannot control my thoughts. I fear that at any moment, I may plunge our world into chaos."
"Huh. Well, that would be shitty," Hidan agreed. "But do you really think it's that simple? You've always had lots of thoughts, and nothing bad happened. I think what Original Nagato did was set off a change that was long overdue. Like, he didn't cause narrative convenience to fall apart; it was going to anyway, and he just provided the excuse. You don't have anything to worry about unless there's a major fault line somewhere, and if you happen to trip it, that's not your fault. Anyone could've."
"But how do I know there is not one?"
"It's been a while since the change happened. Why are you only freaking out now?"
"Because before tonight, I did not have reason to suspect that there was more than one world-changing event waiting to occur. More than one fault line, to use your terminology. I thought excessive narrative convenience was the only one. But now, a person from another story has visited ours! And looking back, it's not surprising. There were clues that such a thing could happen and that it was becoming increasingly likely to happen. If I had seen those clues for what they were, I would have known. In other words… What I mean to say is… I'm afraid because I have very good reason to be. The chances are very high that there are other fault lines and that I have all the information I need to identify them. I just have no idea what part of the vast, vast stockpile of information I have is relevant, and I'm afraid that even trying to identify that much might result in setting off the very fault line I was trying to avoid."
Hidan audibly winced. "Yowch. Okay, I get it now. You're right; that is one fuckin' good set of reasons to be scared."
Itachi sighed. "If only there was a way to figure things out without the risk of setting off another change to our world…"
He and Hidan sat together without saying anything for a while. Itachi's eyes started to droop. It was late. He was just about to suggest they go to bed when Hidan muttered, "I have an idea."
"What is your idea?"
"We're operating under the assumption that, narrative convenience or not, we're supposed to benefit and not be harmed by anything that happens to us. Right?" Itachi indicated agreement. "So if there is a world-shattering fault line somewhere, and you go near it, reality itself is going to bend like a pretzel to make sure you don't actually trip it until and unless that would be a good thing, right?"
"This world operates according to logical principles. Reality cannot bend that easily, especially now that the primary method by which it did so before has been removed. We have to play by the rules, Hidan."
"Ah-ah-ah! The rules themselves are part of reality! They can be bent."
"What are you suggesting?"
"I'm suggesting that you work through your thoughts in my company. I have amnesia, remember? I can flat-out forget shit at any time. I'm like a living escape hatch: if world-shattering information is disclosed in my presence, the hole in my memory can simply open up and swallow it, keeping it from doing any harm."
Itachi was stunned. "That…might work. If dangerous information is dangerous only when it is shared, and you can decide whether or not it was in fact shared after the sharing might or might not have happened… You're like a living Schrodinger's Box. That's exactly what I need! To change the reality of what happened after it happens - why, that's the greatest power in existence. Rewriting reality." His heart began to thump. "Are you sure it would work that way?"
"I thought of it, didn't I?"
"But rewriting reality at will screams 'plot device,' and it feels like the sort of nonsensical thing that the logic of this world normally prohibits."
"It can only work if I'm alone with one other person, the 'reality' that needs rewriting is a conversation, and both of us have agreed beforehand that the conversation is dangerous in its unedited form," Hidan replied. "How often is that gonna happen?"
"Alright. It's worth a try. But not tonight; I'm rather tired."
"I'll tell Konan that you and I are gonna run an experiment. You know she'll keep that to herself. Act like your usual introverted self and I'll find an excuse to be alone with you."
"Thank you." They both stood. Hidan patted Itachi's shoulder. Itachi no longer felt so scared. How wonderful it is to have allies that I can count on in times of need!
Clone Hidan
Making the plan turned out to be much easier than executing it.
A burst of alarm that Hidan's mind translated as Are you fucking kidding me?! interrupted his morning hair-combing. He jumped a foot in the air and his comb flew out of his hand, hitting the wall. He had to pick it up and put it in its proper drawer while holding at bay a rising surge of irritation. Then he had to find that feeling's source.
I didn't get a message in the group chat, and long-distance communications capable of causing that reaction almost always come through the group chat. Therefore it's probably not a long-distance communication, which means this signal probably isn't coming from behind a closed bedroom door. It must be coming from a public room. Feeling very proud of his detective skills, Hidan went to the sunroom.
He became the second person to learn that the dolls had figured out what the books were saying. Konan was the first. The two of them stared at a newly-installed bookshelf. An empty bottle of ink sat on the floor and the shelf had glowing runes on each board. Aside from being solid, it resembled the ghostly bookshelf in the library, being the same size and dimensions. The ghostly books seemed to find it comfortable enough. All three shelves' worth of them nestled inside.
"They learned that their position in the library was under threat, so they moved in with us," Konan said flatly.
"I can see the logic in that."
Konan turned her head slowly to shoot him a withering look. "We cannot afford to regard everyone and everything as inherently friendly. A collection of sentient, psychically- and magically-empowered books whose communications we cannot intercept have moved in with us for the purpose of acquiring greater power." She pointed to the stockpile of ink, which remained in the same corner it had been placed in the night before. That happened to be only feet away from the corner the shelf was built in. And of course, the books could now speak to the dolls at any time without needing the permission or aid of a human being.
"Which is exactly why we should make friends with them," Hidan argued. "You don't go around pissing off enormously powerful beings that have moved into your house. That's how you die."
Konan sighed. "That's correct. It's just that…" She looked suddenly tired. "It seems that the fall of narrative convenience was not the end of a process, but only the beginning. What do we have to look forward to?"
Hidan grinned. "A great question, and one Itachi and I have already been working on. Itachi thinks he's got some leads. However, he and I need to run an experiment. I need to get him alone. Think you can help?" He leaned in to whisper, "We don't want other group members finding out just yet."
"If his leads are helpful, that would be excellent," Konan replied. "However, it might be difficult arranging for you two to be alone. There will undoubtedly be others seeking his insights, especially after this."
Her prediction proved accurate. News of the bookshelf spread like wildfire. A few group members appointed themselves as messengers to make sure that not a single person was left out. A lot of people visited the sunroom to see it for themselves. "I thought we were gonna turn an upstairs room into a library," Original Hidan said.
"I didn't realize these books were capable of planning," Kisame said carefully.
"Is it permanent?" Deidara wondered.
"Of course it is," Sasori replied. "Every single change that has ever been made to this story has been permanent." He said it like it was common knowledge, but nobody else had realized it before. They were shocked to discover that he was completely right.
"As long as they don't cause any trouble," Kakuzu muttered.
Clone Yahiko poked a finger into his fading bruises and winced. "Uh, Hidan, you can take messages from them, right?"
"Probably, if nobody else is around," Clone Hidan replied. "Hey, books. I dunno if you know this, but I can feel the feelings of anyone or anything that has feelings. I can even feel the total lack of feelings in living things that don't have feelings, which sounds weird but is true. Anyway, my ability works on everything within a certain range. I can't pick and choose. So if you're feeling really urgent about something, I might not hear ya unless the base is empty. My minimum range covers half the ground floor. That's how empty it would need to be for me to use my abilities on you. Sorry."
"If only my shed had room," Sasori sighed. "That might have been a better place."
"Does this have something to do with that man Other Nagato met?" Original Yahiko wondered aloud.
"Why would you say that?" Itachi asked a bit too quickly.
"Well, he used mana in a way that resembled our own thoughts about how chakra can be used. Now we have mana-using books inside our base. Both of those things seem like forms of overlap, our two magic systems growing closer together."
"The dolls also belong to that system," Clone Yahiko pointed out. "If living with us is a form of overlap, then it started way before Nagato met that guy."
"Oh. Right." Original Yahiko blushed. Original Nagato consoled him by telling him that it was a valuable hypothesis. Itachi tried to turn invisible. Clone Hidan pretended nothing was amiss.
"Does anyone have any more questions?" Konan asked in a commanding voice.
Samehada trilled. The shark went up to the bookcase and tilted her head every which way, pointing at the books and making questioning noises. "They're the ghosts of books, Same," Kisame told her. "Ghosts are traces of living beings that have died. Uh, most ghosts stick around after their death because they've got unfinished business. They want to do or say something that they didn't get a chance to do or say when they were alive. They usually have different abilities as ghosts than they did when they were alive. For example, most ghosts can let solid objects pass through them. Uh, that's clearly not the case with these ghosts. I…don't know exactly what their deal is."
"I think these ones are exactly like they were in life," Clone Yahiko said. "They just look like ghosts because otherwise how would they have gotten from their world to ours?"
Samehada warbled curiously. "Just to be on the safe side, avoid touching them," Kisame advised. "Definitely don't lick them."
"Um, excuse me, everyone," Deidara called. "We're being unfair, yeah." He shooed several people out of the way and went to Zetsu, who stood in a corner and had yet to say anything. "Zetsu, what do you guys think, yeah?"
Black Zetsu replied, "We prefer to sit back and listen. We weren't planning to react for another six hours."
"Got it," Deidara said. "But we should've asked before assuming that."
"Thank you for trying to be considerate."
Konan and Clone Hidan shooed everyone else out of the room after that. When the room was mostly empty again, Hidan knelt before the bookshelf. "Sorry about that. Our base isn't as quiet as a library. You'll have to get used to a lot of chatter. But we'll try to keep it down." He gently touched the side of the bookcase, and felt what might have been patient understanding.
"I will visit Obito and do my best to answer any questions he may have," Konan said. "I wish you luck with your experiment."
Hidan grimaced. "I hope Itachi's alright."
Itachi was not, in fact, alright. Kisame and Kakuzu were asking him if the dolls, Yahiko's interest in that fictional character and the existence of the ghostly books could have been taken as clues that another magic system was converging on theirs, and how the mystery man figured in. Was he yet another clue? Did his arrival indicate that the two magic systems might be merging?
Hidan took one look at Itachi's pale face and knew this was what Itachi had been referring to the night before. "Oy!" he shouted, barging in. Kisame and Kakuzu stopped their theorizing and stared. "Lemme stop you right there. If you two have figured out that all those things might have been clues, then Itachi probably figured it out last night. And who's our clue-putting-together guy? That's right, it's Itachi. So I'm not fucking surprised to be picking up shitty feelings like guilt and shame and 'I'm not as smart as everyone thinks I am' and 'I fucked up' and 'what if I fuck up again and something happens and there are horrible consequences and those consequences are my fault because I was supposed to see them coming'."
Hidan stopped to catch his breath. Kisame and Kakuzu looked at Itachi with fresh sympathy. "Damn it," Kisame swore. "I'm sorry, Itachi."
Itachi blinked away tears. "You couldn't have known."
"No, I damn well could have," Kisame argued. "You're my friend. Everything Hidan just said is something I already knew. I should have realized that you'd be feeling -" He stopped midsentence. "Oh. This is what it feels like to miss the clues. It feels horrible."
Kakuzu growled. He felt horrible too. "It wasn't fair to place that responsibility on one person in the first place. I'll issue an invitation in the group chat. Anybody who is worried about what's next is invited to figure out what's next their own goddamned selves. We're all capable ninjas. Let's act like it."
"Sorry," Kisame apologized again. He clapped Itachi on the shoulder. "You, uh… Pick just one thing to look out for. Other people will handle the rest."
Itachi smiled, sniffled and wiped away tears before they could be shed. "Thank you. Hidan and I were already planning to run an experiment of sorts."
Kisame grinned. "Run a bunch of old information past Hidan and see which bits the other guy flags as potentially about to be resurrected?"
Itachi and Hidan glanced at each other. How the fuck did we not think of that? "If such a method will work, it is worth trying," Itachi replied.
"If it works, that would be a good way to get advance warning of changes that have yet to occur," Kakuzu said. "The rest of the group will focus on changes that are already occurring: the loss of narrative convenience and this possible magic system merge."
"In other words, don't waste your energy brainstorming ways that Yahiko could apply life force control to his medical jutsu," Kisame said.
Itachi let out a relieved sigh. "Thank you."
"You, uh, need anything for your experiment?"
"Only privacy."
"Want us to tell people you're doing an experiment and they should stay out of Hidan's room?"
Hidan and Itachi glanced at each other again. We didn't want anyone to know about it earlier, but that was before Kisame came up with a totally plausible but untrue explanation. I'd personally prefer to ride with it, but Itachi's the boss. "That would be helpful," Itachi answered. Oh fuck yeah!
They secreted themselves in Hidan's room, against the wall underneath the window. "Do you wanna do that, in addition to what we were already planning?" Hidan asked.
"Not deliberately, but if it should happen…"
"Gotcha!"
"So then." Itachi took a deep breath. "Which of the many things I know are secretly related to each other? Let's see… Your scythe is indestructible and most likely divine in origin, is it not?"
Deidara
Kakuzu's suggestion that other people should pitch in to help predict upcoming changes gave Deidara the idea to get on the Internet. The Internet is the best place for crowdsourcing, yeah! If the changes to narrative convenience haven't affected the Internet, then I can get useful intel. If the Internet has been affected, then I'll be the first person to discover it! I can't lose, yeah!
He shared this notion with Sasori, asking to borrow the laptop. "Go nuts," Sasori said while handing it over. "I get first dibs on anything you find."
"Duh, obviously, yeah."
Deidara took the laptop back to his own room, eager to begin immediately. He opened it, loaded the desktop and opened a browser. The Google search bar appeared. Deidara touched his fingers to the keyboard. Right then, at the last moment, he hesitated. What if narrative convenience isn't the only thing that's fallen? What if we're not isolated anymore? Can a Google search bring government agents to our door now? He cautiously typed can you get arrested for a google search? into the search bar, figuring that somebody somewhere had to have asked that question before. He got a page filled with horror stories of people claiming to have attracted Homeland Security by recklessly googling for backpacks. It looked scary. However, when Deidara took a deep breath and used critical thinking, he noticed that while there was no reassurance to be found, there also was no threat. He remembered something Kakuzu had said once about Google searches. When search results were driven by narrative convenience, they tended to be in-your-face. They would stand out to the most oblivious eye. Nothing on this page of search results fit that description. In other words, I'm getting genuine Internet randomness. I'm not getting any guidance.
For a moment, Deidara was tempted to call it quits right there. Narrative convenience was clearly down on the Internet, just as it was down everywhere else. But then, he thought back to his 8th grade science class. No good researcher would draw a conclusion from only a single example! He had to have at least three. What's that saying? Once is an accident, twice is coincidence, three's a pattern?
He spent a good long time wondering what to search next. He couldn't think of anything, so he decided to use the I feel lucky button. He moused over it but did not click it. The word lucky changed to melancholy. Deidara snorted. I feel SAD? Seriously? I didn't know sadness was legal on the Internet outside of tearjerkers. The Internet is ruled by people who want to sell you things, and sad people don't buy things, hm. Deidara just had to click on that button.
The search engine auto-searched for parental abandonment. Deidara scrolled past Wikipedia entries and newspaper articles with the hairs on the back of his neck standing on end. This doesn't feel right…
The result at the bottom of the page practically reached out of the screen to slap him across the face. It was describing a book. Deidara clicked on that link. It took him to a perfectly ordinary Amazon page…except that there were no pictures of the product for sale. The title of the book was Father, which matched the general topic of the Google search. But when Deidara read the description, he found that the book was not about abandonment at all. It was a story of a man whose body had been taken over by a baby spirit-thing. He was believed dead, but his mind was actually still intact. Secretly, through dreams and inexplicable feelings, he offered guidance to the spirit-thing that now lived in his body, becoming a father figure to it. It was very much the opposite of abandonment.
Deidara put the laptop aside. He needed time to process. He took one deep breath, then another, then thought, Fuck it, I'll stop when I want to stop!
Thirty-five deep breaths later…
Deidara pulled the laptop back into his lap, woke it up, and returned to the Google homepage. He searched for, are domed cities viable?
Once more, he got nothing but Internet wackiness.
He moused over the I feel lucky button. Lucky turned to spunky. He clicked it. The search engine auto-searched for beach vacations, and the page of results beneath it advertised locations where one could get away from it all. That exact phrase, or similar, was repeated across all results. Deidara grinned.
He texted Sasori first, as promised. Then he closed the laptop and carried it off in search of Konan, planning to conduct the third experimental search in her presence. He found her, Original Nagato and Little One discussing something to do with the water seal. They seemed unsatisfied with its location, but that was all he heard before they fell silent and turned to face him. Deidara held up the laptop. "I bring good news, yeah! Narrative convenience isn't gone; it's just moved underground. Oh, and we don't have to worry about government agents paying us a visit, yeah."
Original Hidan
The discussion about ghosts reminded Original Hidan that they had ghosts for neighbors. He assigned himself the mission of visiting them. He let a good long while elapse after the morning's impromptu meeting, working up a decent amount of body heat sparring with Clone Kakuzu. Then, with a good excuse in hand, he visited the sunroom. "Is the thing working yet?"
Two dolls were at work; one held open a portal and another channeled a stream of water through it. Original Nagato kept his hand pressed against one of the side seals, allowing the main seal to absorb the water. He replied with, "The utilities are still operational. This seal is not to be used except in emergency."
"That policy won't last. People'll be tapping it within a week," Original Hidan predicted while covertly sneaking a ghostly book out of the shelf. He huffed and left the room, tucking the book under his cloak as he did so. His theft went unnoticed.
He stopped to drink a glass of water from the kitchen sink, then left the building. Once out of sight, he pulled the book out. It felt fragile and slightly slippery, as if soaked with water, but he was able to hold it easily. "Yeah, that's right you little bastard," he said to it. "When you get back to that bookcase, you'd better tell all your buddies that they'd better not try shit. You don't have librarians to protect you anymore. I can take you out and do anything I want at any time, got it?" The book did not attack, so he assumed it was secretly quaking in fear.
The demon boy was waiting for him. The boy stood straight with a serious expression on his face. He had some kind of golden badge pinned to his shirt. He held out a hand palm-first, commanding Original Hidan to stop. "As Regional Guardian of Ghosts, I must stop you and certify that this ghost has not been harmed." He levitated the book out of Hidan's hands and slowly rotated it in the air, examining it from all angles. "'Tis structurally and magically intact. You may proceed." A whispery voice spoke to Hidan, seemingly only two centimeters away from his left ear. "I am always watching."
"Oh, that's fucking bullshit," Hidan exclaimed. "These things aren't helpless bedbound sick people. They can bring things to life!"
"Tell it to the 'I don't care,'" the demon boy replied. He took the badge off his shirt and held it out. It was shield-shaped. Golden letters across the top said Regional Guardian, and in the center, Ghost Division. "I take my duties seriously."
"Fine, whatever," Hidan grumbled. "If you're some kind of official authority on ghosts, then you must be capable of certifying that something is a ghost. You think these books are genuine ghosts?"
"Book, please speak to me," the demon boy asked. Several seconds passed. "Hmm… I'm getting a stream of mental images, impressions and the occasional word. That's exactly how my ghosts communicate! If it looks like a ghost and talks like one…"
"But is it dead?" Hidan asked.
"Might as well be! When you move to another world, isn't it fair to say your previous life is over?" The demon boy didn't wait for a response. He reattached the badge to his shirt and said, "Was that your only reason for visiting?"
"I guess so."
"Alright. Off you go."
Hidan returned to the base. He hid the book underneath his cloak and stopped by the sunroom again. Finding it empty, he darted over to the bookcase and replaced the ghostly book. There. No harm, nothing to yell at me for.
Original Nagato evidently disagreed. He returned to the sunroom before Hidan could leave it. "Hidan," he said in his sternest, most disapproving voice, the one that told you he was one ill-thought remark from throwing you through the nearest wall. "Explain."
"I took it for a quick walk over to the demon kid's place so he could look at it and tell me if it was a real ghost or not," Hidan said. "He said it was. The question's been answered. I brought it back, nice and safe and undisturbed."
"That was not authorized."
"If the Regional Guardian of Ghosts didn't decide I should be punished, I don't see what you can do."
"Who is this 'Regional Guardian of Ghosts'?"
"That's what the demon kid's calling himself. He has a badge and everything. 'Regional Guardian: Ghost Division.'"
"I see." Original Nagato sounded as if he did not, in fact, see. If he had truly understood what Hidan was saying, shouldn't he be either amused or peacefully accepting? He looked exactly as unamused as he had before. The only possible explanation was that he didn't understand.
"Wonder who the other regional guardians are?" Hidan wondered. "Dammit, shoulda asked."
Konan entered the room. "Ah, he returned." She looked equally unamused and likely to inflict painful non-fun violence. "Has the book been harmed?"
"No."
"Did you threaten to harm it?"
"Not really. I just said I could."
"Apologize."
Hidan turned around and spoke to the books. "I'm sorry for claiming to be able to do anything I wanted just because there aren't any librarians around. I didn't realize the demon kid had made himself your new guardian. I know the sorts of things that kid can do, so I won't hurt any of you."
"The demon boy has invented a new form of government," Original Nagato told Konan. "A system of Regional Guardians. He has appointed himself as head of the Ghost Division."
"That is good news," Konan replied. "From what Deidara and I are able to discern, this region continues to be isolated from the wider world that it is supposedly part of. No regulatory body is going to move in to assume control. However, long-distance communications with outside agencies might be possible. We ought to have our own local form of government for them to talk to."
"I'm starting to think he might've made up the whole 'Division' thing just to make the badge look more official," Hidan said.
"Irrelevant," Konan said. "You are hereby assigned a new mission. Return to the hospital and inquire about these regional guardians. If he was originally joking, tell him that we are very serious. By tonight, be prepared to give a report on this new system."
"For the love of sweet fucking -" Hidan stopped himself before anyone else could do so and growled at the ghostly books. This is what I get for trying to be helpful!
.
A/N: The book that Deidara found is the planned sequel that the mystery man comes from. Father is its real working title. The plot, however, is not quite as described. Deidara's description is accurate, but I intend to write that book from the perspective of characters who are, y'know, capable of directly interacting with the world. Those characters do not know that this man's mind is fully intact. It'll be a surprise reveal, the sort of thing that definitely does not get mentioned in a book jacket blurb, ordinarily. But for the purposes of this story, the spoiler was all that mattered. In fact, it's the only aspect of that book which the characters of this story are capable of learning. They are most definitely not allowed to learn specific personal information about someone they've met from the Internet! They can either look someone up or meet them in person: not both.
The 'Regional Guardian' thing just...happened. Like, alright, I guess we're doing this now. Inventing local governments. Why not. Woohoo!
Yay.