Your Forever Is All That I Need
By: FlowerPotBloom
Summary: I love you…I swear I still do… WS AU version of 1x2-"Cool Change" Content Warning: severe gambling addiction, separation, talk of divorce
Disclaimer: I do not own CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, nor any of its characters. They are the sole creative property of Anthony Zuiker.
"When we face pain in relationships our first response is often to sever bonds rather than to maintain commitment."
― bell hooks, All About Love: New Visions
~prologue~
Monday, February 9, 1998
The silence between them settled in, along with the chill in their normally cozy apartment, the tink, tink of their forks making contact with their plates of breakfast reverberating in the space.
Warrick ate another forkful of the scrambled eggs Sara took care to make for him before he set his fork down and picked up his mug and took a sip of coffee, which warmed his bones.
Sara took a bite of her butter and jam toast before she sipped her coffee.
Their toddler was happily swinging his legs under the table as he ate his cereal. Corn Flakes with banana was Warrick, Jr.'s favorite breakfast, which tickled his mother because she happened to crave Corn Flakes when she was pregnant with him, and she thought, their son took after her in that way, at least.
Warrick, Jr., Ricky to his parents, looked just like his father. Not that he ever would, but Warrick could never deny that Ricky was his son because he was a spitting image, and when people who didn't know them saw Warrick, Sara, and Ricky together, people assumed that Sara wasn't his biological mother.
"Yes, he was in my belly, and I birthed him, he is my child," Sara often had to explain.
Progressive as the city of San Francisco touted itself to be, there were still some ignorant, nosy people minding the Brownses business. They often got stared at when out, or people outright asked Warrick where Ricky's "real" mother was, or some really bold people would comment that Ricky "didn't look mixed." Warrick and Sara chose to be amused by it rather than offended, as they probably should have been, but what was the point in that? Wasted energy, that's what being offended would have amounted to.
The parents watched their son adoringly as he happily ate his breakfast.
"Yummy, Mommy," he smiled.
"Yes, it's your favorite breakfast, darling," she said as she smoothed over his hair. "Want some more juice?"
"Yes please Mommy," Ricky said.
Sara poured some more apple juice into his favorite sippy cup.
It was almost a normal morning between them, except they would have been more conversational and relaxed over their breakfasts.
Their normal seemed like a distant memory.
They were here, at this point now.
"Are you sure you've got everything you need?" Sara asked as she screwed the top back on to Ricky's sippy cup.
"Yeah babe, I've got what I need," he assured his ever concerned wife.
"Good," she smiled slightly.
They looked at each other for a long moment.
God, Warrick thought to himself. What are we doing? What am I going to do without them?
But this had to happen, this separation.
It tore their hearts up to explain to their two years old son, in the simplest terms possible, that Daddy was leaving for a while, but that he would be back to visit, and that Daddy loved him very, very much.
Last night, Ricky slept between them in their bed, the last time he would get to cuddle with Daddy and Mommy together.
After breakfast, they cleaned up together, then the time had come.
Sara and Ricky walked Warrick to the door, and he looked at his family.
This isn't right, he thought frantically to himself. This isn't right! God…I don't want this… But I'm no good. How do we go back? I want to go back to what we were… God knows I don't deserve them, but I want them more than they'll ever know. I'm too far gone…
"I love you, babe," Warrick said as he embraced his wife, pressing his forehead to hers. "I love you."
Her eyes glistened with tears. "I love you too, sweetie."
He pulled away, then he picked Ricky up and hugged him and kissed the top of his head.
"Daddy loves you little man…"
"I love you Daddy," Ricky said.
Warrick delivered the toddler into Sara's arms and she settled him on her hip.
Don't walk out that door, Sara thought, her heart shattering. Don't walk away from us…
Warrick grabbed his luggage, and he opened up the door and walked out.
More to come soon... Thank you for reading! Please read and review, let me know what you think so far!