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His heart pounded. His hand was shaking so violently he couldn't write a single word – at least none he'd be able to decipher. In spite of the usual cold draft in the dungeons, even the lit candle beside him was calmer.

With a grim look, Severus grasped the quill harder and once again lowered the tip onto the parchment. Took an easing breath. In ... and out. His frown deepened and just when he thought, he – no, Hermione had finally got over it, a huge blot of ink spread across his notes and the trembling began anew. Grunting, he threw the quill aside.

He was struggling with this for almost two hours now. He'd mostly got used to her bloody nightmares but this … Severus gasped as another wave of erratic emotions that weren't his rolled through his mind. This was worse than every other night before. Had she used Occlumency even at night? Had she really managed to at least partly hide this from him?

As he broke out in a sweat, as his breath hitched again, he gave up. If Hermione couldn't get a grip on her nightmares then he would – one way or another. He shoved his chair off the table, ignored the sharp scratching on the wooden floor, and stiffly went to the door.

Peeves, probably planning to play havoc, fled the corridor when he spotted Severus, the portraits hushed their nightly chats and Mrs Norris meowed feebly when he glared at her. Albus had accommodated Hermione in a room in Gryffindor Tower but it wasn't protected by the Fat Lady so Severus could get to her without bothering with passwords.

Five minutes later he stood in front of the inconspicuous door nobody would notice unless you knew it was there. But his knock was so deafening probably even Professor Binns would've floated upright in his bed from it – if he wouldn't do something like that every night anyway.

Still, Hermione accomplished to surprise him with how fast she opened the door. To his relief, she was clad in pyjamas and a dressing gown and obviously alone.

"Severus! What are you doing here?"

He snorted but said nothing. He did not have to. She blushed bright red and that was the only thing about her looking remotely healthy. She was visibly tired. Dark shadows circled her puffy eyes, she was pale around the blush. He knew she hadn't slept much this night. But now he listened to her feelings that had almost spiralled him into a panic attack a few minutes ago. And grudgingly noticed he'd been right. He rolled his eyes. "Come!"

Her eyes widened. "What? Where? And why?"

"No questions, come!" he repeated in a stern tone that cut off any protest.

And yet she tried, but with her eyes. Her expression hardened, she was determined to stay where she was.

He arched an eyebrow.

She crossed her arms.

He arched the other eyebrow as well.

She swallowed. Then she surrendered.

Severus smirked.

"Am I at least allowed to get dressed?"

"That won't be necessary."

She acquiesced without further discussion. Sighing she extinguished the candles in her room, put on her sneakers that didn't remotely match the pyjamas and the dressing gown, and left her room.

Severus turned around and stalked away, not paying attention if she could keep pace with him. A little while later they got back to his office and before Hermione entered the room Severus transformed his settee into a bed. He scrunched his nose. "Lay down and sleep!" he ordered and returned to his desk.

Hermione stood in the middle of his office, speechless, staring at the bed. "What?" she asked after a few seconds.

Severus groaned. Not even now could he work in peace! He scowled at her. "I planned to work this night. Which I cannot do when my hands are trembling." He paused to look at her reproachfully. "So I tested a theory. And for some inexplicable reason, it proved right." Namely, his presence calmed her. Calmed! When did that happen? Since when did people calm down in his presence? That was … ridiculous! But true. He rolled his eyes. "So … you will sleep here tonight." He waved at the bed.

She swallowed thickly. "I'm sorry."

"About what?"

"That I keep you from working."

He pursed his lips. "Well. Since the problem is solved now we can each go on with what we had planned for this night. And I will work on my methods while I'm at it."

She frowned. "Methods?"

"If your fear decreases in my presence I'm doing something wrong. That's unacceptable."

Now she smiled and a little wave of … something reached him. "I think your methods are as efficient as ever. I'm just not like the others."

He sighed. "Obviously."

At long last, she turned to the bed and he watched her taking off her dressing gown and her shoes and slipping under the covers. A feeble sigh snapped Severus out of his musings and he returned to his papers.

He was still at his desk in the early morning, watching the sunrise. The little windows in his office laid slightly above the earth's surface and looked to the east, so the room was flooded with more or less light every morning, depending on the weather. Only when the light reached his desk he resumed work, turning the cursory notes of former experiments into proper records. Albus had suggested taking advantage of the quiet after the last quarrel with the Death Eaters and he would do exactly that.

"Are you still working or again?" a sleepy voice sounded from the impromptu bed another hour later and Severus lifted his gaze.

"Still," he replied sounding as if he'd slept eight hours.

Hermione huffed and hid a yawn behind her hand. "Unbelievable," she mumbled and closed her eyes again.

Severus smiled and dipped the quill into the ink to write another note down. But now that he knew Hermione was awake he had trouble concentrating. He felt like he was being watched.

So he eventually put the quill aside and leaned back. "What kind of nightmares troubled you last night?"

Hermione sighed, turned to her side, and tucked her hands under the pillow. She was obviously comfortable in this bed – he could not only see it but also feel it. "The war," she said after a while.

Severus tried to remember what she had experienced in the last few years. What had she been involved in? What had she seen? He'd never thought about those questions. Wouldn't ever have under normal circumstances; after all, nobody ever asked him. Not even Albus wanted to know more than the facts when he returned from a Death Eater meeting.

Maybe Hermione had an idea what he was musing about. She sat up and pulled the blanket under her chin, shivering in the cold morning air. "I saw Lupin die. I … was with him and wasn't able to help him. He bled to death right before my eyes."

An overwhelming wave of helplessness washed through Severus's mind. It hit him so violently that he groaned softly and closed his eyes, pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Sorry", she whispered.

Severus shook his head. Pulled his shoulders back and looked at her.

Hermione swallowed. "Some nights I'm out there again. I didn't mean to keep you from working."

"It's not your fault Lupin died," he said.

Hermione tilted her head and looked at him as if she really wanted to believe him - and failed. "I'm proficient in healing charms, Severus. I just panicked and couldn't perform them correctly. I could've helped him if …" She gulped.

"It wasn't your panic. Lupin was a werewolf, that's why you couldn't help him."

His words rattled her so much her mind went blank. No kind of self-blame she'd probably tortured herself with in her sleepless nights, no ifs or could-haves seemed to fit as an answer to what he'd said. Her mind couldn't walk the known paths. She was lost in herself for a moment. "What do you mean?" she finally asked.

He leaned on his desk. "Werewolves react differently to magic even in their human form. Their ability to heal by themselves is so strong they normally don't need any charms. Since he died in spite of it his injuries were too serious to be healed."

Hermione stared at him for several heartbeats. All kinds of emotions slopped against his mind, tiny waves of he didn't know what. But he could imagine what she felt. Bewilderment. Dismay. Anger. Horror. Relief. Not a lot of that but a whisper. It would take some time until she would accept that Lupin's death hadn't been her fault.

"Why don't you take the potion for Dreamless Sleep on nights like the last?"

She blinked. "Because then I get the dreams the night after. I can't take it every night."

Severus grimaced. No, she couldn't. The potion suppressed all dreams but the brain processed nearly everything in dreams - it needed them to function normally. Severus dropped his gaze and stacked the papers on his desk. "What do you think about breakfast?" he asked.

She nodded. "If I'm allowed to shower first …"

"Of course. The bathroom is off the living room, the door on the right." He nodded towards the shadows behind him where the door to his private quarters was.

Hermione peeled off the blanket and donned her dressing gown. "Does Accio work down here?"

"Normally it doesn't but I'll modify the wards. When you're finished showering it will work."

She disappeared into his living room, a smile playing around her lips, and Severus waited until he heard the bathroom door. Then he closed his eyes and slumped back in his chair, rubbing his face. This whole situation began to prey more on him than he was willing to admit.

Severus moaned when he woke up three days later.

And frowned.

He never moaned when he woke up. Why did he moan today? And why … did he have the urge to do it again?

He blinked and looked around his bedroom. No, everything was as usual. Light, temperature, time – nothing abnormal. He wasn't in pain either.

And then his mind was awake enough to understand. "Hermione," he growled.

So he focused on the feelings spilling over from her – and inhaled sharply. "Bloody hell!" He shot up and was suddenly face to face with a view he hadn't had since … well, at least ten years: a tent in his blanket.

Severus harrumphed and rubbed his forehead. That was … humiliating!

Tiny waves of arousal surged against his mind. His skin tingled softly, even his damn nipples tightened! This was not okay! How did she dare to do this while he was -

Severus pushed his blanket aside and went over to the bathroom. Before he could give her the dressing-down she deserved he needed a cold shower.

"I demand an explanation!" he snapped when she entered the laboratory an hour later. He stood behind the lab bench and wouldn't leave this spot for the time being. Not even a wide cloak could entirely hide what she did to him.

Hermione blushed violently. Even her ears went red. "I'm sorry," she mumbled.

"That's not an explanation," he growled.

She leaned against the opposite side of the table and closed her eyes. "It's my … cycle." He could hardly understand her.

But he understood enough. "Cycle?" he reiterated indignantly.

She clenched her teeth and glared at him. "Yes, Severus. Cycle! I am a woman! That's what a female body does!"

He gulped. A muscle beneath his eyes twitched.

Hermione exhaled sharply. "Could we … just go to work, please?"

Severus nodded and was glad he could avert his eyes. Cycle … Everything he knew about the female cycle involved blood and he'd never had the impression arousal was a part of that. But since she obviously didn't do this to him on purpose, like he initially thought, he preferred to keep silent. To go on working was in fact a good idea.

It just proved harder than expected. Although they worked with newt eyes and squid tentacles Hermione didn't get a grip on the symptoms of her … cycle. Heat, mist and the muted light they needed due to the newt eyes seemed to have a stronger impact on her.

And on him. Beads of sweat ran down his face and it was so, so tempting to pull off this cloak. But he didn't dare to. Only rolling up his sleeves to quickly wash his hands had made him wince from her fierce reaction. He'd looked at her incredulously. Really? His arms? She'd bit her lip and dropped her gaze.

What was happening here? How … Why … Severus didn't even know which question he was supposed to use to express his confusion. His arms were … arms. They were … functional. But arousing? Why?

And a very bitter part of him wondered if she'd still find them arousing when she saw the Dark Mark. But he certainly wouldn't look for an answer to that question today.

However, this morning Severus used Occlumency several times because this was a bloody emergency! Parts of his body weren't made to be aroused for hours on end! It was her damned cycle, should she suffer the increased emotions!

But he still couldn't focus, he just couldn't. How she did it was beyond him. Although … she was mainly busy preparing ingredients today. He probably would've been able to focus on that as well.

And she avoided looking at him. This morning everything was more interesting than him. The tentacles. Her knife. The burn marks on the floor. The cobwebs on the ceiling.

The first time she suddenly stood very close to him was around noon. She'd fetched some ingredients from the cupboard and Severus, actually being absorbed into the potion deep enough to briefly forget how he'd awakened this morning, turned around thoughtlessly. She froze on the spot, stared at him, swallowed. He startled and his Occlumency slipped. A hot prickle rushed directly into his groin and made them moan simultaneously.

"Hermione!" Severus grumbled – and the same happened again. What? His voice, too? He raised his eyebrows.

"It's not my fault!" she said in a choked voice.

"Whose fault is it then?" He tried to sound as ungracious and grumpy as possible and this time she thankfully didn't react like … that.

"It is … the damn ovulation," she muttered. Her face was already red due to the heat in the lab but now it looked like it would burst into flames any second. She hastily walked past him and started to mash the newt eyes, staring straight into the greyish slime.

Severus leaned against the bench, exhausted, ran his fingers through his hair …

… and another dizzying wave surged through his mind.

"Hermione!" he snapped.

"It's not my fault!" she cried and pushed the box with the eyes away. "It's really not my fault! Normally it is never like …" She threw her hands in the air.

Severus arched his eyebrow – and rolled his eyes when even that triggered a prickle. Apparently, he wasn't even allowed to exist today.

"Stop looking at me like that!" she hissed.

"How am I supposed to look then?"

"I don't know! Not like that!"

"Very well." He crossed his arms and arranged himself behind the bench so the lower part of his body was hidden. He scowled at her all the time, refusing to look away.

Arousal sloshed through his mind and his body reacted to it. His heart pounded, his hands dampened, heat flushed his head and especially his groin. His trousers tightened and he tensed his pelvic muscles as if that would be of any help.

"Bloody hell …" he muttered. The wave hitting him then was bigger. If he'd only abstained from using Occlumency … That had only made it worse.

"Yes …" she whispered. She held his gaze; now she wasn't interested in avoiding him any longer. Far from it! She licked her lips.

Severus scowled at her. That was not fair! No matter what he did, it aroused her. How was that supposed to work? How were they supposed to endure that? She made him feel like a goddamn teenager! "You …" he said menacingly. But he had no clue how to end that sentence.

"Yes …"

"I …" he tried again and clenched his fist. But he lost his train of thought.

"Yeah?"

"We …"

"Mmh?" Slowly she tilted her head and the light of the magically modified lamps glistened in her hazel eyes. His resolve faded …