XCIV

Ratum Tantum (II)

On her way back into the den from outside, Kagome turns aside from the straight path that leads to Kouga's room and stops in an alcove. Really, she's happy, but she knows she smells of tears and the grief that had been in Kameko's answers to her questions. If she approaches him like this, whether he's awake or asleep Kouga will catch the scent of her distress and worry about it.

Quietly, breathing deeply, she wipes her eyes and tries not to think about Kameko's tragedy. It's not that hard, really - the sadness doesn't belong to her, and Kameko's mate was lost a thousand years ago, and she didn't even share a name for Kagome to remember him by. The reassurance she's been given is greater; the joy of her choice is greater. Mostly, she's sad for Kameko's sake, and appreciates both what the elder female shared, and the sacrifice she made by sharing it.

Kagome looks down at her own palm and leans against the wall, remembering the gleam of that gold paint on her skin. How much more precious it seems now, knowing that it wasn't just something for a moment or a night. She wonders how it works, what the magic of it is; how it knows when a courtship becomes a mating, and then the mating is lost. And she can't help thinking about the other half of what Kameko revealed, too.

"Our males give us courtship marks, and cover us with their promises. We write our claim on them in turn when we agree to mate them." Kouga will be marked the same way she is. Kouga will be hers, like she'll be his. I like that. And she thinks that maybe, the way Kameko said it, there's something personal in those marks. What, she wonders, were the promises Kouga painted on her skin that night? What will she write when it's her turn?

Some things come to mind almost immediately, but she's not sure they're appropriate. To stay with him; to love him; to do her best to make him happy, always. To protect him, and to protect those he loves. She'll have to ask Kouga first, if they're the right kind of things, and how to write them his way, but these are the kind of questions she wants to have for him, the kind she's saved and kept herself from asking even Hakkaku.

Smiling now, she thinks it's been long enough. She can hear others beginning to stir in the rooms around her. Someone will pass by this way soon enough, and she doesn't want to see anyone else, not right now. The fire in her chest is burning white hot, drying her mouth, making it hard to think.

She's almost holding her breath by the time she slips back into Kouga's room, and she stops and grins at the threshold when she sees he's still sleeping. Her last anxieties are washed away by the sight of him, and by the thought of how happy he's going to be… whenever he wakes up. But there are two pairs of open eyes gleaming at her from the dimness, and she makes her way across the room with a finger over her lips, smirking a bit at the panting smile on Sho's muzzle and Shippou's squinting, fox-faced grin.

They look much too pleased with themselves, thinking they've caught her sneaking about, probably, but neither makes any fuss as she slips back into the bed. They wriggle their way to the end to make room for her, and she props herself up on her elbow, looking down at Kouga as she had before she left. His dreaming smile has become a tiny frown while she was gone, and she reaches over to smooth the wrinkle from between his eyebrows.

Just the touch is enough, and he reaches out an arm for her and then relaxes completely when he finds her there. Perhaps ten minutes pass, perhaps a few more. Kagome is content to be beside him, to bask in his warmth and amuse herself thinking of the best way to poke fun at him for being asleep so long. Like how for once she tired him out – only, she's blushing too much thinking it, never mind actually getting the words out of her mouth. Oh well.

Finally, Kouga blinks at her, looks up at her, rolls over and slides his hand up her side and then around her waist. She feels his lips at her shoulder, then the side of her neck, where he stops to rub his cheek against her skin. "Good morning, woman."

"Good morning, Wolf." The fire of her feeling has been trying to escape her chest ever since she came back and saw him still asleep. As soon as she speaks, the heat of it is burning in her throat. The flame is on her tongue when he looks up at her again, and all the things he says and doesn't say are in his eyes.

It's in her breath then, inescapable, shaping her words, sneaking past her smile. "Kouga, I… I love you." She holds his face in her hands, and kisses him once while he stares at her, wide-eyed. "I love you."

He blinks at her as if dazed, but she feels his hands creeping up around her body, tightening against her skin. "I must still be sleeping. I'm having my favorite dream again."

A tiny smirk crosses her face. "Are you sure?" She kisses him gently, then bites his lip just sharply enough to make it sting.

"Ow – oh." And then his eyes are wide, and the drowsiness scatters from his face. "I'm awake. I'm awake? But Kagome you said -"

She touches his lip gently with a fingertip, soothing the spot she bit. "I said I love you, Kouga."

His kiss overwrites the fire on her tongue with the taste of his own sun. A sudden surge of yōki rises under his skin, wraps around her irresistibly, potent and maddening. It burdens her miko senses with such a heavy awareness he's a spiritual being that she can barely breathe, but she has to, and it feels like she's breathing him in when she does. The Wolf and his wildness, the hunter and his prey, dark things and their love.

It isn't just the taste of the sun but the sun itself, a wildfire and a whirlwind, his heart like the heart of a star, collapsing and reforming under her hands. Will it consume her? Doesn't matter. Even before she said anything, she knew either the words or his joy at hearing them would burn, but it doesn't matter. How could it?

It's such a beautiful fire.

There's nothing she can do but hold on, breathless and still laughing anyway. She holds on to the shadow of the Wolf licking at her throat, and then to the strong and steady arms she wants to surround her world forever. To the light that shimmers between them, divides and connects them, yōki fierce and blue as his eyes, reiki pink and hot as her blush.

It recedes and leaves Kouga holding her tightly, his gaze drinking her in as if he will never be able to look at her enough. "Kagome, say it one more time. Just one more. I dreamed it so many times, you have to convince me I'm awake. Really convince me." He looks at her with the crimson eyes of the Wolf in an almost-human face, and it strikes her that no anger, no violence, has ever moved him like this that she's seen.

Only love. Only me. "Tell you I love you? It was only hard the first time, but as soon as I started to say it I knew, I knew I could say it forever. I love you. I -" He kisses her so rough and deeply that when he lets her go again she gasps for air. "Love – you - oh – I love you. I think I loved you for weeks, and months, and just didn't know – and – and – and I'm sorry it took so long for me to say it. I love you."

He takes her hand in his hand and pulls her up onto her knees in front of him. "Do you know how hard it's been, waiting for you to say it even once? Hoping all the time, breathing your happiness and your desire, tasting your affection in the scent of your skin? But I still barely believed I could make you want to stay. I know how hard it is for you, I know humans aren't meant to live like this, I know, I know… But you love me? You love me. You're my stars and my sky, Kagome."

Suddenly he's very close to her again, his forehead pressed against her forehead, then his lips under the corner of her eye, on her cheek, on her mouth. "My stars and my sky, my clouds and my blue. My rainy day and my snowstorm and my sunshine. My moonless night and my midnight moon." He lifts her hand to his mouth, kisses her fingers, then her palm. "My heavenly maiden." As rough as he had just been gentle, he drags her up against his body, nips her wrist with his fang teeth and smiles at the sound of her moan. "My queen of hell."

"Oh – Kouga, you -"

"Shh." He kisses her to silence, and then kisses her again. "Don't you know when a Wolf gives you his words, you have to listen?" And then he laughs, and nuzzles her throat. "No, I forgot. I'm sorry. How could you know? No one would dare to take away the moment I get to share this with you. I'll tell you everything, teach you everything you need to know. This is how we Wolves share our love, Kagome, how we'll make our mating vow. With all the words that say what we are to each other, all the words of how and why we fell in love, and stay in love, and will be in love forever."

He breathes the pulse at her wrist, holds her hand against his face. "My beauty. My hero. My treasure and my tormentor." He smirks at her, and she darts up to kiss it off his lips, but that isn't nearly enough to silence him. "My innocent and wanton woman. My first blush, first bite, sweet-as-the-first-blood-of-winter woman. My spring and my mountain; my witch and my spell. My priestess, setting fires in the temples." His eyes are too blue to look at now, but he holds her cheek in his hand and won't let her turn away from his face. "You're all my dreams, Kagome, all my desires. My yesterday, my today - tell me you'll be my tomorrow, too."

"Kouga." She can barely say his name, never mind all the things he is to her. Protective, possessive, still giving equally of himself in turn. Impossibly handsome, in an ideal, wicked way. Sweet as honey, half his words poetry – she'd dare a goddess to say no to a declaration like that, except wouldn't that mean she'd have to share him? That, she knows she can never do.

She wishes she had words like he does, beautiful things to say like he does, but maybe for him it doesn't matter. Maybe for him only one word matters right now, the one she had come back from Kameko knowing she wanted to say. "Yes. Yes. I want tomorrow with you, and tomorrow's tomorrow, and the day after that – all of them, always, all the tomorrows. All the tomorrows, Kouga."

"You'll be my woman, Kagome?" His voice is barely more than a growl. "The Wolf's woman at last?"

She nods once, without hesitating. "Yes."

"My mate?"

Hunger like she's never seen is in his face, but it doesn't scare her. She wants it, wants him, wants everything he's ever offered her, everything he's ever said. "Yes."

"Forever." But this time it isn't a question, and he doesn't let her answer. He kisses her sweetly, deeply, holding her tighter than he's ever dared. She feels his body trembling against her, and for a moment she thinks he's going to do it now, take her here, just push her back onto the furs, and she is so, so willing –

Then there's light, and wind, and a great Wolf standing over her, with a gleam in his eye that tells her he knows what she was thinking. Kouga steps carefully out into the middle of the room, avoiding her and the scattering of pups from their furs both, and looks back at her, smiling his Wolf smile. "Now you have to cover your ears, Kagome."

As soon as she obeys, the thousand echoes of his joyful howl shake the den. It's a summoning sound, and it leaves her ears ringing even through her hands, but she can't help laughing at how pleased with himself he is. The pups are already bounding up all around them, dancing around her legs and ankles, knocking each other over and then rolling gleefully where they fall. If they had words, she thinks they'd be saying congratulations, congratulations! But they don't, so they bark and huff and paw at her knees instead.

Only Shippou can shift his shape enough to speak, but whatever he says, gleefully grinning as he is, she can't hear him over Kouga howling again. It doesn't surprise her that Ginta and Hakkaku are the first to come running, and they grab her hands and drag her to her feet, scattering pups in all directions again. "You two-"

"You said yes?"

"You said yes?"

"I said yes!" They let out a whoop together that rivals Kouga's howl in piercing volume. She can't resist the tug of their hands, and dances across the room with them under Kouga's amused gaze, until there are too many Wolves in the way, and she's out of breath from laughing too hard. "But what's going on, why is everyone running now? That's what he's howling for, I suppose?"

They exchange a look, grin at her and nod. Hakkaku pokes her forehead with a finger. "Of course he is, you should've known he'd tell the whole world."

"Uh-huh. Since he can't do that he's at least gotta tell all of us."

"All?" But Kagome is still surprised when Kameko comes striding unhurriedly into the room after a group of others.

The elder female makes no mention of their earlier conversation, only stares down at Kagome and nods once, half-begrudging, half-approving. "At least you're not wasting time. Take good care of us, miko. Take good care of him."

"I will –" But Kameko steps aside before Kagome can say anything else, and one at a time, the other elders come striding in behind her. Suddenly the chamber that's always felt so enormous feels crowded instead, and there's a familiar rush of air behind her as Kouga changes his own shape to make room.

He settles warm hands on her shoulders, then warm lips, sits at the edge of the bed and pulls her down beside him, half in his lap. "Silly woman, of course they all have to come. Of course I called them. How else can I tell them all I finally won you, stole your heart and made you love me, and now you'll be my mate?"

Kagome nudges his shoulder with her forehead, wiggling to get more comfortable beside him. "I can think of so many ways. You just want to show off, don't you? Like nobody ever got mated before. You're ridiculous." He opens his mouth, but she kisses his nose and he goes cross-eyed trying to look at her in surprise. "Ridiculous. It's adorable. And a little embarrassing, since you insist on making me the center of attention. But mostly adorable."

"Adorable? Oh no, I'm not letting you get away with that-"

"Don't need to get away with it."

"No?"

"I love you. Doesn't that mean I already have?" As she says it, she realizes that it's one thing to say it just to him, and something else to say it in front of the rest of the pack. But even if her cheeks are burning, it's worth it to see the lopsided grin that spreads instantly on his face, the immediate softening of his teasing expression. She wonders how many times she'll have to say it before he stops looking so dazed.

Shiori comes in then, followed by her sisters, and runs over to sit in front of them, grabbing Kagome's hands excitedly. "I knew it would be soon! When will the joining be?"

Kagome blinks once, twice, drags her attention from Kouga's face and looks down at her friend. "I – don't know? Is there some time it should be?"

Shiori snorts and laughs at her; it's Suzume who answers. "That will be up to Kouga-sama, now that you've said yes."

Suddenly there are many voices, all asking Kouga the same question, some in words and some in panting howls. When? When? When? Kagome finds herself unexpectedly gratified by how many of the pack seem to want her for their other Alpha.

It's not just Ginta and Hakkaku, Shiori and her sisters, but smirking Kameko and tired-eyed Daisuke and all the Wolves not yet able to change their shapes. The pups have loved her since the beginning, but it's only now she realizes the impression she's made on the guards she's fought with, and the females she's worked with, and the patrols who watched her face down a taijiya for their sake.

She grins a silly little grin at all of them, and turns to look at Kouga herself. "Yes, you have to tell us. When will it be?"

He smirks triumphantly, wraps his arms around Kagome's waist and holds her as close as he can. "I courted you; I won you. You'll be mine as I'm yours, forever and always – so since it's almost the end of spring, let's do it the old fashioned way." Excited mutters start immediately, most of them apparently understanding what he means. Kagome does not. "We'll go to the pack meeting this summer. I'll go ahead of time to make sure everything's ready, and then you can all bring her to me. We'll show all the Wolves of Nihon which Alpha is luckiest in his mate!"

There's mingled cheering and howls, but Kagome still looks back over her shoulder at him, confusion on her face. "Kouga? Pack meeting?"

"At Obon; not all the packs every year, but most of them most years. We trade and share stories; some choose to move with a new pack, usually to follow a mate or court one. The road to Tokoyo is open at that time of year, the gates to all the hidden lands, so sometimes there are other visitors, or we go on expeditions." His grin is sharp and many of the Wolves around them match it fang for fang.

Even what he's said so far brings up a hundred more questions for Kagome to ask. Tokoyo? Hidden lands? Expeditions? But Kouga is already explaining other things. "We didn't go last year, I was too busy taking care of you at first, and then we had those harpies to deal with. But this summer there shouldn't be anything in the way."

"Kouga-sama, you just want to break all the females' hearts at once." Someone shouts teasing words from the background, but in the hubbub she can't identify the voice.

Grinning, he shrugs. "So what if I do? I never wanted any of them, and I didn't pretend I did. It'll be easier to let them all know this way, won't it? I'm being nice. And…" He turns Kagome in his arms, so that she's looking up at him, laying across his lap. "I know humans have a big ceremony, when you make a life together. I don't know how I could do that for you like humans do, I don't know anything about it. I could learn, if it's something you want. But for now, I'll just do everything I can to make it up to you, our way."

Kagome feels tears start in her eyes, sudden and hot, and she presses her face against his chest to hide them. Make it up to me? But he's being very serious. "Will that make you happy, Kagome? Is that… okay?"

"Okay? Kouga, there's nothing, nothing you need to make up to me. Whatever you want to do is perfect. I didn't even know Wolves had a ceremony, and I was happy. I thought it would be like the night you announced our courtship, only after we would…" She stops, pressing her hands against her cheeks. "Anyway, it was beautiful. Don't worry. You always make me happy, Kouga."

"I'm glad, but… silly woman. The night I announced our courtship, that was a ceremony."

She doesn't move except to look up at him from the corner of her eye. "Well, next time tell me so."

A/N: And so everyone finally said yes, and the people rejoiced! Okay well the Wolves rejoiced, the people have absolutely no idea wtf is going on. Except possibly Kaede. Or no wait, she's technically *still asleep* as of the end of RT Part 1. Bets on whether she wakes up confused, irritated, or with a strong desire to kick a dog in the balls? Those who chose D, all of the above, give yourselves a round of applause! Next week, our regularly scheduled chapters resume with the last one to take place during this very long night (how many chapters has it been now, like 5?), as we visit with everyone's favorite (?) hypocrite, Miroku style!

Please Review!