The city they live in is full of superstitions and stories, but the one about the local god is the most potent. So scary his nature, his name is never spoken, for his powers are great, greater than a human mind can comprehend – he creates and destroys worlds with equal ease, all hearts are laid bare to his one eye.
The locals refer to him as Dreamlord.
Insomnia spreads among town dwellers like a plague. Sleeping pills become a rare commodity within a week.
Still, not even the most potent remedies help. Eyes become ringed with dark circles; those who manage to fall asleep wake up exhausted, claiming their dreams were haunted by some evil force.
"We have to do it", - people start whispering, "Otherwise we shall all die out"
So the day comes when all townsfolk gather at the central square, ready to see how their maidens pick straws.
The girl who picks the longest one shall be the one offered to Dreamlord.
Everyone dreams of it being somebody else, anyone else, worriedly observing how their sisters and daughters take turns.
The oldest Liddell sisters come together, Lorina clutching Alice's hand. The third Liddell girl, Edith, is still too young to pick.
When Alice waits in the line, she can't help wishing Edith was a bit older. If she had to sacrifice anyone, she'd rather give up Edith, but not Lorina, never Lorina.
They pick the straws at the same time and Alice can see the unmasked relief in her sister's eyes when the straw in her hand is only five centimeters long. Alice is about to return her smile when Lorina's eyes go wide as she takes a look at what Alice is holding in her hands.
A long straw.
Then things happen so quickly Alice has no time to even process what happens – before she knows it Lorina snatches the long straw away and crushes it in her hands, along with her own.
"It is me this time", - Lorina declares in a clear, determined voice, loud enough for everyone gathered to hear.
There are relieved sighs and whispers of how unfair it was for Miss Lorina, who just got betrothed to be chosen. No one suspects a lie (everyone knows Lorina Liddell since the time she was the only Liddell girl) and no one dares to protest on her behalf.
Alice is about to open her mouth and tell the truth, when Lorina's hand wrap around hers, a firm hold that leaves her no room to argue.
"Please, run away with me"
Why does she always overhear things she is not supposed to?, Alice sorrowfully wonders but makes no attempt to move from her spot. It makes no sense at this point.
"You know well I can not do it", - Lorina speaks softly, a hint of regret just barely there – like a drop of honey in a cup of tea - "And I believe you should take this back"
(There is no engagement ring on her finger later that evening).
"You can't be serious about it!", - her fiancé is a writer, a man who traveled around the world and wrote all kinds of wonderful stories about it. Still, he has difficulties accepting the news, despite knowing the cruel traditions of old times. " This is medieval!"
"What must be done, must be done", - Lorina says and Alice can't listen anymore.
Her legs carry her away, away from their house, until she reaches the old oak tree. They used to have their Sunday afternoons here until they learned that the oak is called "nightmare's oak" and no one should ever try to sleep beneath it unless they want their sleep being plagued.
Alice presses her face into it.
"Please", - she whispers fiercely, - "Please"
She sinks to the ground, with her back now pressed to the tree, her hands wrapped tightly around her knees. She keeps thinking about all the happy times they've spent here, all books read, stories shared.
She can't bear the thought of Lorina gone.
"Everyone and everything is gone at some point", - someone behind her says in a whispery voice. A smooth and velvety male voice, a bearer of forgotten memories and ancient mysteries.
Alice feels a jolt of fear running through her. There is a tree behind her, but she is too scared to turn around and check if someone is standing there.
As if hearing her inner turmoil, the voice lightly chuckles. "There's no need to be afraid. After all, you are the chosen one"
Alice doesn't know what scares her most – the fact that the voice is now coming seemingly out of nowhere or the fact that the bearer of this voice, whoever that might be, can hear her thoughts.
I know I am, - Alice frantically thinks. But how can she make Lorina see it?
"Your sister? What about her?"
"She wants to take my place", - Alice brings herself to say, - "She lied to the town people about getting the long straw"
"Understandable sentiment on her part", - the voice muses, before adding as if in afterthought, - "But your sister won't do"
The words so casually spoken make Alice freeze. So even if her kind and beautiful sister sacrifices herself, it will all be in vain.
"Please, help me", - she begs, - "It is me that you want, right?"
The words sound bold being said aloud, Alice realizes, her cheeks tinted pink.
The voice replies softly. "Yes"
The emotion behind this simple word makes Alice tremble.
"Help me stop my sister", - she begs, - "Otherwise you will have to wait for longer"
There is a long silence. Alice crosses her fingers for luck, not daring to think, not daring to hope.
And then-
"Very well. To be honest, I am getting rather tired of waiting"
When Alice opens her eyes, she finds herself laying on the ground beneath the tree. How did she manage to fall asleep is beyond her understanding. But when she stands up and brushes her dress, there is a strange weight in her pocket. Surprised, she takes out what turns out to be a small blue vial.
It is the loveliest thing she has ever seen. It looks as if cut from moonstone, transparent and shiny, with an engraving and a stopper both heart-shaped.
But she nearly drops it, when she realizes how cold it is.
Later that evening she brings Lorina a glass of milk, thinking how much her sister has sacrificed for her throughout the years.
How many times it was Lorina who read her stories at night, taught her things, comforted her? It was Lorina who became more of a mother than a sister after Mrs. Liddell passed away, doing all the things required to run the household instead of spending time with her friends. Lorina, who gave up college, so their father would hire a tutor for Alice instead.
She can't, she simply can't accept one more sacrifice.
So Alice finds her way to the kitchen. Once there she finds a glass and fills it with milk, white and cold. When the glass is almost full, she takes a small vial out of her pocket. She feels like Lucresia Borgia when carefully measuring a couple of droplets of whatever this transparent liquid inside the vial is.
But when she brings the glass to Lorina, she feels like Claudius, betraying the most important person, the person who looks at her with so much trust.
Yet, she offers a glass to Lorina without a trace of hesitation.
"Sleep well, sister"
The next morning at the Liddell estate is blurry for Alice. There is a lot of rushing and calling doctors; the police come to question her too.
But even though Lorina Liddell is found dead in her bedroom, there is absolutely nothing incriminating in the glass that contained milk before, there is nothing out of ordinary in her blood. The doctors are forced to attribute the death to a sudden heart stop, however weird it seems.
Alice answers the questions in a distant, polite manner, which everyone thankfully attributes to the state of shock. (Everyone but Edith, who finds a moment to whisper in Alice's ear - "I wish it was you").
Alice is grateful their father is away and can't interfere when she doesn't let the doctors take the body of Lorina away. Thankfully, the men don't argue too much, be out of respect for her grief or the necessity to attend another town's gathering.
The Dreamlord would not take the dead bride, so a new one needs to be chosen.
Coming to the square again, Alice is eerie calm. She knows what to expect and the only person, willing to sacrifice herself for her sake is peacefully sleeping.
She volunteers to go first and the long straw it is.
People are watching her, both relieved it wasn't someone of their kin, yet sympathetic "-poor thing, just lost her sister and now-"
"-those unfortunate Liddell girls"
The ceremony arrangements are quickly made (afraid some kind of doom might befall her too, Alice thinks jadedly). She is surprised at how calm she still feels.
Edith is quiet when she brings the news home.
The rest of the day Alice spends giving the last orders about the house and explaining to Edith how some things are to be run ("Father is on his way home, he shall be back soon").
She goes through her things, taking care to burn her old letters (especially the correspondence with her tutor – all the letters he returned to her after the break up).
She goes through her dresses and chooses the sky blue one with an apron, the dress that Lorina made for her. ("You are the Alice of the Wonderland, my dear, - she said with a smile). She hasn't worn this one since they stopped having their Sunday afternoons and no longer has shoes to match it. Out of stubbornness, Alice puts out a pair of red mary janes. More than a Dorothy of Oz, stepping onto yellow-brick road, leading to a magic emerald city she's Andersen's Karen in red shoes.
In the evening when the ceremony takes place Alice finds herself comfortably numb, enough not to notice how quiet the house is (even Edith's silence has no hostility in it). She stops by Lorina's room to kiss her sister goodbye.
Then she heads to the giant oak tree, where the ceremony would be held.
Lorina Liddell dreams of music, the lovely piano sonatas she played when mother was still alive. She would sit at the piano and pay no mind that her fingers ached after hours of practice, not when Alice (so adorable in her silk blue dress) would excitedly clap her hands and smile at her with admiration.
Lorina dreams of her sister, the long period with just the two of them. How wonderful it was to share her favourite spots in the house and the garden with Alice, how delightful it was to set picnics beneath the rose bushes. How dreamy it was to share all of her favourite stories with her baby sister, her best-beloved companion, and playmate. Alice, smiling, mischievous Alice, who looked like poetry itself when sitting on a swing with Dina on her lap.
Alice, shrewd, sharp-minded (even that despicable tutor of hers was surprised to discover such a brilliant intelligence in a girl so young).
As time went by, something new appeared. Now there was something otherworldly about Alice, some kind of melancholy the girl wore like a cloak.
Alice, who could take naps beneath the ill-reputed "nightmare's oak", but see only lovely visions, making up more refreshed than having slept in her own fluffy bed, while other brave souls would complain about headaches and horrible images haunting their dreams.
She should have guessed there was some reason behind it, should have stopped bringing Alice beneath the oak.
Gradually the dream changes – Lorina sees her sister being greeted by the townpeople beneath the oak tree, sees how Alice calmly steps into what looks disturbingly like a coffin.
It doesn't take her long to realize what is happening. She did her best to ensure that was never going to happen.
With a cry, Lorina wakes up, but the peace of her room doesn't bring her any peace of mind. Without bothering to comb her hair or even throwing a dressing gown on, Lorina makes her way out of the room and then out of the house, not caring that for once she doesn't look like a respectable lady ought.
She makes it in time to see how the ground seemingly swallows her precious sister and as her fiancé, strangely pale, pulls her in a tight embrace, as the people around them whisper of miracle, Lorina knows she came too late.
Author's Notes: the title comes from a Joanne Harris's novel with the same name.
The line "...looked like poetry itself when sitting on a swing with Dina on her lap" is a modified quote from Francoise Sagan's "La Robe mauve de Valentine".