This never happened before.

Nightmare Gottschalk laid on his back, his hands folded demurely behind his head.

Dream demon that he was would never have trouble sleeping. Let alone falling asleep. The mere thought was too absurd to even consider.

Yet here he was, trying to do so unsuccessfully for more than two periods. He rolled several times, trying to find the most comfortable position. Some hot milk was fetched and drank. He brought more fluffy pillows to his bed, as well as additional soft blankets, and settled between them. He even had to resort to something as stupid as counting sheep! Unthinkable!

Yet even such drastic measures didn't help.

He had to admit the truth – Nightmare Gottschalk the dream demon, dream walker, Lord of Clover Tower was unable to fall asleep, ridiculous as it was.

What was happening to him?

Stubbornly refusing to open his eye, incubus internally surveyed what he did during the last time periods.

Assembly that took place before was just as dreadfully dull as ever, Elliot as obnoxiously determined that Hatter was greater a boss than Nightmare. Ha! As if Dupre would be able to survive a single time period through Gray's nagging to drink medicine and do mountains of paperwork without going on a rampage.

For Nightmare, however, it was a piece of cake. A mere routine, nothing new. The fact that his assistant was still alive proved it.

Then his mind turned to his other assistant.

Alice.

Maybe that was the whole reason. Incubus opened his eye, greeted by the sight of silk purple baldachin over his bed. It's the first thing he always sees above him, whenever he wakes up in his room. Had he been where he originally planned to sleep, he would only see brown tiles on the ceiling instead.

This difference was the whole reason.

Alice refused to let him into her room. Seemed she stayed awake just in order to catch him trying to sneak inside. Only to show him the door.

How could she do so in his own tower baffled Nightmare. But when he dared to point it out, she just gave him the look.

And thought loudly and clearly (obviously on purpose) – they will always be glad to have me over at Hatter's Mansion.

As if such a decision would ever meet his approval. Nightmare was well aware that Mad Hatter often entertained thoughts about young Outsider and those were the kind that made dream demon's blood boil with rage. He would never let Alice go into a lion's den as long as he had a say in this!

But the point was taken.

So here he was in his own chamber, his own large bed, shifting restlessly to find a comfortable position on top of laundered sheets and pillows in purple silk cases. And yet he couldn't catch a wink of sleep.

If he was completely honest with himself, incubus would admit that maybe, just maybe he was a bit pushy lately. But it was all too much. First, Alice asked him not to come to her dreams, pointing out how they hang out on a regular basis in the outside world. Now she threw him out of what technically was one of his Tower's rooms. The nerve of the girl treating the lord of the tower (not to mention her superior!) this way! Shouldn't she know by now that Nightmare was just trying to stay beside her to ensure she slept well? He was doing it with her best interests at heart!

Why was she denying him access to her dreams now, incubus wondered. She certainly didn't complain before (at least it has been some time since any complaints came). Was he that bad of a company? Didn't he do his best to create fairytale-like sceneries for her, showing her whatever she might fancy?

He should sleep, Nightmare tiredly thought. Gray would be here all too soon, mercilessly dragging him out the comfort of his bed, urging him to drink medicine and proceed with the tasks for the day.

But despite his best efforts incubus couldn't bring himself to let sleep pull him under. How could one be expected to sleep while knowing that Alice might be experiencing horrible dreams this very instant?

Yet Alice forbade him to be with her. Why was she behaving in such a foolish manner? His mere presence be it within her dreams or inside her room was enough to guarantee her a nice night of refreshing sleep. No one could protect her from the frightening images her own mind created the way Nightmare could. He'd dismiss the nasty visions with a mere hand-wave; make all the ugly monsters vanish; chase the darkness away with the brightest sunlight; led Alice out of the intricate maze of fears and despair to safe realms of hope and beauty.

And yet she stubbornly refused to let him use his powers for her sake, claiming she could sleep by herself just fine. As if he didn't see her waking up in tears, holding on to him for dear life until his jacket would be all wrinkled, not that he cared. As if he didn't see her sleep wracked with terrible dreams, visions of her worst fears coming true. However, she chases him away instead of letting him guard her sleep.

So here he was, completely unable to catch any sleep himself.

It was so unlike him to worry about someone like this, Nightmare thought.

Dream demon assisted White Rabbit with kidnapping Alice mostly for his amusement, wanting to see how this particular game could go. But his objective changed long before the Move took place.

He was no longer a mere observer, Nightmare reminded himself. He, who planned to stay out of the game, keep his distance, and watch, now was just like the rest. Before he knew it, the change occurred. And not only did he become involved.

He.. cared.

Dream demon who never felt any attachment to anyone, himself included, wanted Alice happy, safe, comfortable. And though it went against his better judgment, right now he tried to respect her wish to be given space. Somehow entering her dreams after her request felt like a violation of sorts, despite how many times he'd done it in the past.

Nightmare sighed and rubbed his good eye. This kind of considerations never bothered him before. Just another sign of how much he changed since he got to know Alice. Incubus was never troubled by what others thought when he entered their dreams – his role had requirements, that was all.

Entering Alice's dreams shouldn't bother him. She left him no choice. It was for her own good. With Clockmaker remaining in Heartland, no one could prevent him from entering, the girl herself didn't know how to create barriers.

So why was he hesitating? Just a quick check-up visit from Dreamrealm should be enough to settle his worries for tonight.

In truth, Nightmare knew perfectly well why. The idea of her hating him scared incubus more than anything else possibly could.

And didn't he give her a reason? There was this thing he had done, something Alice might not forgive him for, even if he merely did something she desired the most.

The memory of Lorina Liddell laying in a coffin was carefully sealed and stored away by no other than him, Nightmare Gottschalk.

Would Alice ever forgive him for trifling with her memories if she remembered everything? Nightmare had no doubt she would figure out he had a hand in it, being the smart girl she was.

However... Dream demon knew it was inevitable. Sooner or later, one way or another those memories would resurface on their own even if he managed to keep certain someone from interfering.

Sooner or later Alice would remember everything.

But not yet! She was not ready for this yet! Her heart needed time to heal and accept what happened. He wanted her to collect her broken pieces; rearrange herself and find new purpose, new things to love and cherish. He only wanted her happiness and tried to ensure she had it the way he thought best.

But would she see it the same way? Hardly. She'd probably hate him even more than White Rabbit.

But then... Nightmare smiled bitterly to himself. Why should it matter if he enters her dreams without permission if she is bound to hate him one day in any case?

However, in an attempt to honor her request Nightmare did something he hasn't done since his adolescence – he entered the dream without giving away his presence, as delicately as a petal falls from a flower. He used to do so before, when he wasn't fully controlling his powers, out of shyness of coming inside people's dreams. He learned not to bother soon, of course, taking pleasure in making his arrival known. Not this time.

This time there was no familiar swirl of colors; he didn't even bother to change into his regular dream attire. Instead, he was doing everything to conceal his presence.

The moment he saw what was going on inside Alice's dream incubus knew it was the right decision to come.

He would willingly slay any monster her fears and insecurities take a shape of, but dream demon sees now why she doesn't let him do so with this particular dream that haunts her so often.

Because her scariest dream is about her sister. He should have guessed this sooner.

The image of an older girl is bright but frightening. Alice may deny it all she wished, but Nightmare knew better. He was not a dream demon for nothing – he felt the essence of her dream and could undoubtedly tell that this particular one was full of fear and suppressed pain. In her room she must be curling into a ball right now, her breathing labored, her forehead covered with sweat. Alice may not remember the truth, but deep down it was there, this poisonous knowledge, coloring her dreams muddy. It was painful to see how much Alice struggled in this dream, so incubus swiftly chased the disturbing images away. Gently, carefully, not allowing himself as much as a comforting whisper, Nightmare sent Alice to deep, dreamless slumber.

Making sure the girl was properly asleep this time, he resurfaced to the outside world just to realize that his face was covered with a sheen of perspiration. Sighing, incubus hopped out of the bed, floated to the bathroom, went to the washbowl, and started the faucet running. When the water was cold enough Nightmare took his silk handkerchief and dabbed his forehead and cheeks and neck. Automatically his sight shifted to the mirror.

How funny, he absently thought. Before he met Alice he never felt the need to take a proper look at himself – glimpses in a mirror lasted long enough to fix his tie and check whether his overall appearance was presentable. It didn't matter what he looked like – prince charming or a beast for people still feared him for his powers. Nightmare himself was indifferent about his looks, never caring if he heard some faceless think him attractive. Such thoughts never lasted long, once they realized just whom they were admiring. He closed his eye tiredly, allowing a certain memory to fill his mind.

It happened while Alice was still in Heartland and he was but a visitor to her dreams. She was bored that particular evening he noticed and suggested she choose a scenery, promising to change the Dream Realm according to her wish.

"Castles, dragons, rainbow waterfalls, northern lights – anything you like"

She seemed thoughtful for a moment.

"You'd show me anything I want?" Nightmare eagerly nodded.

"Can you take your eye patch off, please?"

Her request caught him off guard. He could put on display any wonders known, could adjust Dream Realm to any whim of hers and she was asking him to do something so small and trivial.

But he complied, of course, as much as his role allowed him.

Dream demon still remembered the slightly flustered look on her face. Remembered how her gaze was taking him in; what she thought of him, even if she didn't say it out loud.

Handsome. She thought him handsome.

And for the first time in what seemed like an eternity, this particular word made the dream demon's steadily ticking clock skip a beat.

Nightmare opened his eye and again caught his reflection. What was he thinking? He wasn't even whole, he wasn't even human, to begin with. What was otherwise a handsome face was unbalanced by a black eye patch, a pitch-black reminder of his role. Why would she look at him if there were others, healthy, vibrant, strong? Why would she choose him if he was responsible for the worst thing done to her?

His exhaustion was the only reason the dream demon didn't smash the mirror into pieces.

Nightmare-sama is unnaturally quiet today, thought Gray. He expected the whining and attempts to hide, yet another bargain about the amount of paperwork and endless demands for sweets and beverages (in other words, the usual routine), but the dream demon didn't as much as make a single complaint about medicine in his morning coffee.

Something is terribly wrong, Gray decided worriedly, observing how incubus was diligently reading documents brought to him. Too silent. But being the dutiful assistant he was, Gray Ringmarc took full advantage of his lord's rare mood, attempting to get as much paperwork done as possible while Nightmare-sama was willing to do his work.

When Alice came to start her shift, she too was surprised by the silence inside the office. Was Nightmare up to something, she wondered but knew better than to ask. She still felt a bit guilty about the harsh rebuttal she gave him last night period, but it was about time incubus learned to respect her privacy.

Still, the hurt and disbelieving look she saw on his face, before slamming the door into it, was fresh in her mind. But surely it was not the reason why Nightmare was so unusually quiet today.

Quiet and oddly cooperative. Alice could hardly believe her eyes at the amount of documents Nightmare went through. And all of that without a single word of complaint! Dream demon seemed so focused on his work, he even forgot to cough. Was he finally using some of his powers to patch himself up, Alice wondered, but whatever the reason there were no coughing fits at all today. Perplexed, Alice decided to follow Gray's example and not question this rare mood of the incubus – the risk was all too great that Nightmare would start his usual antics at any given moment. With this decision made Alice did her best to attend to her duties and for several time periods they carried on with the usual procedures of the Clover Tower without any interruptions. Faceless workers came in and out of the office with more and more stacks of documents, discreetly casting curious glances at their lord, whom they haven't seen being this diligent often.

"Time for lunch", - surprisingly, it was Gray who called out for a break. No matter how much he wanted to proceed and make some progress with the paperwork, the dutiful assistant didn't want his superior to faint from hunger.

"I can make something..", - Alice suggested, casting a shy glance in Nightmare's direction.

"No reason for that. Feel free to go and have proper lunch at the cafeteria or town", - dream demon swiftly responded in a calm, even tone, without looking up from whatever paper he was reviewing at the moment, - "I will eat at my chambers".

Bewildered, Gray could only nod. "I will see to it, lord Nightmare"

Alice was out of words. Nightmare never refused her suggestions to make food. Could it be that he was angry at her?

Still, the dream demon left the office with Gray in tow without as much as looking at her as if he didn't hear her confused thoughts.

After lunch, the same pace continued. Seemed that the cooperative mood Nightmare was having, still lasted. They carried on for several periods.

By the time the night period started, they were done.

"This should be all for now" - Gray disbelievingly said, viewing the mountains upon mountains of papers and documents that occupied all surfaces at the vast office – this time all of them properly reviewed and signed, ready to be cataloged and put away.

"Time to rest then", - Nightmare replied absentmindedly, raising from his armchair.

"Would you like me to order something sweet for you, Nightmare-sama? Perhaps, I can make you some hot chocolate?", - such heroic efforts deserved a proper reward and Gray was more than ever willing to award his superior in any way he knew. Honestly, even a quarter of this amount of paperwork was more than Gray usually dared to hope for. Also, lack of coughing fits certainly didn't go unnoticed by him, and whatever the reason (lord Nightmare secretly drinking the medicine or relying on his powers; the latter being more probable) he was more than a little happy with the change. Heck, if Nightmare-sama requested moon from the sky above right now, Gray would be getting it for him.

"No need, Gray, thank you. Go ahead and rest"

Alice strolled behind Nightmare through the corridors of Clover Tower. Today was remarkable, she thought. In her recollection, it was the first time they managed to get everything done. Of course, tomorrow(in a time period or two) there would be new paperwork to attend to, but at least for now, Clover Tower's people could rest at ease. It felt weird, wrong somehow that the whole day went without Nightmare trying to sneak out or complain, though it was nice not to have him coughing blood. Gray and she asked him so often to behave like a respectable superior, yet it felt so strange to see dream demon do just that.

When they reached her room, Nightmare paused in front of the door.

"I suppose", - he asked brusquely, without even turning his head, - "you won't let me come inside?"

"N-no", - her reply came out unsteady, Alice noted with displeasure. She said it all before, how she had enough of him sneaking in-

She expected some kind of retort, a reminder of who was the tower lord, but with no protest or comment, without even, any attempt to make his usual speech about him doing it for her sake Nightmare tramped off down the corridor in the direction of his own room.

And for some reason, Alice felt like calling after him.

Today was strange, Alice demurely thought while brushing her hair. Her mind was still occupied with Nightmare's odd behavior.

She scolded him, called him childish and pathetic countless times, yet finally seeing him act like the head of the tower he was, seemed so strange and out of place. Dream demon didn't even react to her thoughts as was in his habit.

Perhaps, she got too used to his childish antics and occasional tantrums. Their daily bickering was a part of a routine and despite the amount of work they have done today, Alice didn't feel any satisfaction.

Maybe because today Nightmare didn't talk to her. Well, it was not like he was giving her a silent treatment.. Just all of the words spoken between the two of them (sans the exchange in front of her room) were all about work.

Alice certainly didn't expect herself to miss their usual exchanges. She almost wished she'd allowed dream demon to come to her room tonight, which as she hastily reminded herself wasn't a good idea at all. It was the whole reason why she gave him an earful the other night – her privacy was something she wanted him to respect.

But still.

Maybe she should apologize. Perhaps, she lashed out too harshly at him. She'd talk to him tomorrow, Alice decided.

Perhaps, her confusion was the reason for the dream she saw that night period. It was her sister she saw usually, dreams that Nightmare stubbornly called "bad", but it wasn't Lorina this time.

Instead, it was Nightmare, but not his usual aloof self. This Nightmare seemed much younger and rested on a hospital bed with an IV in his left hand, which was weird because no way incubus would let anyone put him into such a position. Alice didn't know why the image felt so disturbing to her – maybe because he looked too young to have such a resigned, bitter look on his face; maybe because this young boy was alone in a boring white room. Even Gray was nowhere to be seen.

"Nightmare!"

Dream demon was floating in his realm, allowing the familiar swirl of colors and eerie silence to soothe him. Hard day's night indeed, for various reasons. Thankfully Gray was so astonished by his diligence and lack of coughing, he didn't even suggest going to a hospital. Not bad an accomplishment. But such things always came with the price, so tonight a retreat to Dreamrealm was no more than a strategic move on his part. No one would witness him coughing up blood here.

"Nightmare!", - dream demon would know Alice's voice anywhere. She was calling him from her dream, fear and worry obvious in her voice. All thoughts of inevitably upcoming coughing fit forgotten, incubus pulled Alice into Dreamrealm.

"Nightmare!", - it took the girl several moments to realize she was in dream demon's domain. She looked around frantically.

"Up here"

Alice tilted her head up. Nightmare was floating far above her reach, she noted with displeasure, surprised at herself by how much she disliked this distance. It was like this when she first arrived in Heartland, Alice remembered. Dream demon would float high up above her, looking at her amusedly with his one good eye, making his cryptic comments. Gradually he started coming closer, which was something Alice had grown used to. Probably that was why she didn't like the current distance.

But there were more important things to ask him about.

"Are you feeling well?", - she inquired worriedly, the dream she saw still fresh in her mind.

"As good as ever", - his voice was carefully neutral. He was too far for her to see his face properly and the tone of voice he used told her nothing she wanted to know.

"Look, I am.."

"No need to say anything, Alice", - incubus crossed his arms over his chest, - "We had a tiresome day. Perhaps, it would be better if I let you sleep now"

"But.."

Nightmare hated the irony of it – one time Alice sought him out was exactly the time his sickness decided to kick in.

He really shouldn't have invited her to his realm tonight, but her voice sounded so worried.

An all-familiar wave of pain hit him, robbing him of breath. It began.

"Nightmare!", - Alice certainly saw him coughing blood many times before in and outside the dreams, but it never looked this bad. Right now it seemed like he was about to cough his lungs out.

Cursing the distance he put between them, Alice willed herself to come up. She needed to get closer to him. She must get closer! But incubus seemed so impossibly far above her, clearly in no shape to aid her, lost in a hopeless battle with the pain.

Nightmare told her before that she could manipulate her dreams, but Alice seldom tried, allowing him to change the surroundings as he pleased. How did he manage to fly in this space, the girl wondered, when every step up felt as hard as if she was going through tons of water while carrying heavy bricks on her back? How did he do it, how come he could change it with a snap of his fingers to amuse her, yet couldn't do a single thing to ease his own condition?

Cheeks red from the effort, Alice stubbornly kept pressuring upward, slowly ascending. It was more exhausting than running up the stairs at Clocktower with her hands occupied with grocery bags. It was worse than climbing over the fence to Blood's mansion she did once when playing tag with the twins. At least in those instances, there was something to hold on to or someone to help her up. Grasping nothing but thin air, while believing it was solid enough to sustain her weight was disheartening, to say the least. Still, Alice refused to stop her attempts. Come on, just a bit more, she kept saying inside her head. Just a bit more and I will be with you. Please, be alright.

She couldn't believe it when she finally reached him.

"A-Alice..", - Nightmare couldn't hold back a small gasp when he felt her behind him. The coughing stopped, but weakness rendered him immobile, commanding his full attention, so he barely registered the girl's attempts to rise to him.

I want Nightmare to be okay.

Panting heavily as if she run a marathon, Alice collapsed behind incubus. She never felt this exhausted within a dream. But the girl didn't let herself rest – she didn't want Nightmare to send her away as he clearly meant to before his coughing fit. Instead, she closed the remaining gap between them and wrapped her hands around him, holding her dream demon as delicately as she could, careful not to squeeze him too tightly.

I want Nightmare to be okay. I don't want him to be in pain.

So much conviction, Nightmare thought as her thoughts reached him, still too weak to speak. Such strong feelings. He belatedly realized what Alice was trying to do.

She tried to manipulate the dream.

Stop it, he wanted to say. When it comes to my state, it is not easy even for me. It is next to impossible for you. But incubus couldn't speak – the pain and the weakness were too strong for his lips to form any coherent words.

Blood was running down his chin, dripping on his pristine white shirt. Alice felt a couple of droplets fall on the back of her hands, where she gripped the ruffles of his shirt. Girl gritted her teeth. I won't let go.

This feeling of dread and complete helplessness when someone dear to her was in pain somehow was so familiar. It was like this when her mother was in the hospital. It was like this when Lorina-

No, Alice shook her head vigorously, for the first time not wanting to think about her sister. Focusing on the past wouldn't do. Right now she needed to think of something else. What good was she if she couldn't do anything even inside her own dream? But how one is supposed to make things happen inside a dream?

I want Nightmare to feel better, - she repeated the words like a mantra within her head, slightly tightening her grip around him. She thought back to all those times she would wake up scared and shaken to be held and comforted by dream demon. It was time to return the favour.

Please, please. I don't want you to be in pain. Pressing her face into his back, Alice kept thinking about all their time together. His childish behavior at work, his mysterious words and cryptic explanations, beautiful images he showed her, his kindness and support when she found herself lost and alone in Clover, their walks across Clover town. She tried to put what she felt for him into her embrace – the complex mix of gentleness and warmth, exasperated affection, curiosity, and wonder. And so much more than that, things she couldn't define properly.

Please, be okay. I want you to be okay. I need you.

Stop pushing yourself, Nightmare wanted to tell her, but then he felt it. The weakness which clouded his mind suddenly vanished and dream demon became sharply aware of Alice's petite form next to him, her face pressed into his back, her hands wrapped around him. He was so used to relying on thoughts to tell him what others were thinking and feeling, it came as a complete surprise how much a simple touch could convey. It was all here - warmth, gentleness, gratitude, fierce desire to protect and keep safe from any harm, and more, something shiny and vibrant he couldn't decipher – he felt these emotions coursing through her, running all the way from her beating foreign heart to her fingertips and then straight to his chest, to the clock hidden inside.

The warm waves of gentleness conquered the twisted sharp sensation within him, soothed the agony, washed the nasty taste of blood away. Dream demon found he could breathe easily again, inhaling the chilly air of his realm greedily. Slowly, nearly imperceptibly at first, Nightmare allowed himself to relax in Alice's embrace. Being comforted felt so refreshing and new. All he could do was relish in her touch.

Alice didn't know how long they stayed like this when finally she felt Nightmare hesitantly put his hand on top of hers.
Cold, she noticed, immediately covering it with one of her own, warmer ones.

Please, be okay. Just be okay. Always.

"Alice", - when Nightmare, at last, broke the silence, his voice sounded almost as calm as usual."Thank you. I am feeling better now".

Still, incubus made no attempt to break from her embrace.

"If you do then please take better care of yourself. Go to a hospital", - Alice whispered.

"I hate hospitals. Didn't you see it?"

He wasn't referring to all the declarations of avid dislike of hospitals and injections made by him before. What was he-

With a start, Alice realized he was speaking about the dream she saw.

Young Nightmare in a hospital, all alone.

So it wasn't a dream..?

"No", - he heard her thought and answered, - "What you saw is actually an old memory of mine"

How could it be possible for her to see his memories? Wasn't it always the other way around? Was he the one who sent her that as a dream?

"It is the last thing I would want to show you", - incubus sighed.

Alice could swear Nightmare himself was perplexed.

"Alice, do you care this much about me?"

His question came so unexpectedly, Alice found herself at loss for words.

"Of course, I do", - she responded at last, glad that in their current position he couldn't see her face.

He was silent for a couple of moments.

"I feel the same"

"The same?", - Alice repeated his words, feeling a hot wave of flush coloring her cheeks.

"Yes. I want to keep you safe. From everyone and everything, reality or dream", - he paused and then continued, - "That is why I was so insistent earlier"

She squeezed his hand gently.

"You are already doing enough, Nightmare. You helped me to find my way through the Door Room. You gave me a place to stay and a job. It is more than enough"

"I can do more", - his voice came out more agitated this time, - "I want to do so much more".

Alice tightened her hug around him. Couldn't Nightmare see that he was already doing much more than someone like her deserved?

"Don't think this way about yourself.. At least let me keep away those nasty dreams of yours"

He must be referring to her dreams about Lorina.

"Those are not bad dreams. They have my sister in them"

"When you see them, you're scared. When you wake up, you are covered in sweat and breath like you nearly drowned. How could these be good dreams?"

Dream demon obviously didn't understand.

"Hey, let's talk about it later. I don't think I am in the mood to discuss my sister right now"

She would try and explain it to him later. Right now all Alice wanted to do was to hold still and feel him relax in her arms, just a bit longer.