"Can everyone leave for a moment, please?", - Alice pleads, looking mostly at Gray. The assistant throws a glance at the sulking figure of his boss and curtly nods, before making his way out, his long coat flying behind him. Doctors and nurses hurriedly follow suit.
In less than ten seconds the two of them are left alone and for some moments equipment's buzz is the only thing filling the room.
"So", - Nightmare says, facing the wall, - "Why don't you start your usual speech?"
Alice bites her lip. "Don't think it's going to help"
"Yet you still think it", - dream demon sighs, running a hand through his hair,- "Why doesn't he act more mature? Why won't Nightmare behave like an adult for once?" He mimics her displeased voice rather well to Alice's vexation.
"Since you know it all already, no need for me to say it aloud, right?"
Incubus turns to face her.
"Do you know why I am here?", - his question comes abruptly.
Alice shifts in place uncomfortably. His look is too intense for her liking.
"You finally listened to the voice of reason"
"Wrong", - his eye narrows at her, - "I've lived this way for a long time, Alice. Longer than you can imagine"
His voice has a certain coldness to it, the one Alice is not accustomed to. This is the voice Nightmare uses when he speaks of the way this world is – a detached and cold one of an all-knowing incubus.
"Even if you lived like this before, it doesn't mean it wouldn't kill you eventually", - Alice finds her voice trembling slightly. The idea of him dying terrifies her too much, so the thought is quickly pushed away.
He shrugs. "It would take more than my sickly ways to finish me off"
Dream demon looks at her and his voice changes.
"Don't you understand, Alice?"
What is there for her to understand? He explained his hatred of hospitals often enough.
He hears her thoughts and gives a sigh of frustration. "For a smart girl, you are so clueless sometimes, Alice"
"Now I..!", - but before she can say more, he is out of his chair. One could never deny that when he wanted, Nightmare could move extremely fast (how else would he be able to run away from Gray, one of the most athletic men in Wonderland?).
Before Alice knows it, he crosses the room in two quick steps, until he is standing right in front of her.
"All of this", - he says, tone harsh, - "All of this bloody medicine, prickly needles... I am going through all of this merely because you said you'd have me if I did"
He never spoke to her like this, not about these things. Her cheeks are positively blushing now, Alice realizes and tries to look away.
"It is about time you behave like an adult, Nightmare", - but words come out weak.
He grabs her chin, forcing her to look at him again.
"I am doing all of it for you", - his voice drops to a whisper, the one that makes her tremble slightly, - "So that one day you'd give me a proper answer"
"Didn't I agree to marry you?", - she tries to protest, but Nightmare only rolls his eyes.
"You'd take it back the moment you feel like it, claiming you only agreed in the moment of weakness"
After all this time when he brought her agreement up, it was so surprising to hear him say so.
Her thoughts get her a sad smile from an incubus. "I knew it was too good to be true. Didn't you know I can hear those doubts of yours?"
His sadness is so sincere that Alice can't bring herself to be cross with him for reading her thoughts. "Then why aren't you trying? If you know your childish antics make me.."
"I am trying!", - he snaps so suddenly, Alice can only blink in surprise, - "I am trying so hard. With everything. It is so difficult to live up to your expectations, Alice. And it kills me that you don't even acknowledge any of my efforts"
He sees how his outburst shocked her into silence and steps back, eye still not leaving her face. "With paperwork. With medicine. For goodness's sake, I am even prepared to go as far as to let this piece of junk", - at this, he motions at the IV pole, - "to be attached to my arm. All of this for the sake of one thing"
"What thing?", - she finds herself asking.
"To be able to put a ring on your finger"
Her left hand flies up to her chest, where a certain ring is hidden beneath layers of her clothing. His eye follows her movement. Then he shakes his head in defeat.
"I am doing all these things, facing my worst fears", - incubus softly traces her left hand with his. He examines it solemnly, seeing the lack of a ring, - "And you don't even want to wear an engagement ring I've given you"
"But I am wearing it!", - Alice cries in indignation, fingers going beneath her lace collar to bring up a small silver chain with a ring on it, - "Here"
Nightmare glances at the ring, but the sadness on his face doesn't vanish. "This is not how you're supposed to wear it"
"I am still wearing it", - Alice stubbornly insists.
"More like hiding it", - he counters and crosses his hands over his chest.
"I am not hiding it", - the girl stubbornly repeats, but incubus would have none of it. In one quick motion, he leans to her, and before she knows it his hands move behind her neck.
Click! Before Alice can blink, the chain is gone, along with the ring.
"Hey!"
"You don't want it", - Nightmare evenly says, carefully sliding the ring off the chain and hiding it in his pocket, - "So it seems right to retrieve it"
He slowly offers her the chain; silent too, Alice takes it and puts it back on her neck.
"I can't believe you'd do it, Nightmare"
"And why not?", - he asks back, arching an eyebrow, - "Contrary to what you may believe about me, I am a gentleman, Alice. I don't find it right to force a girl to wear a ring she doesn't want in the first place"
The silence stretches between them.
"I never said I didn't want it", - Alice softly whispers.
It was most likely the loveliest thing she had ever laid her eyes upon. Certainly, the most beautiful thing that has ever been entrusted into her possession.
"Then why not wear it?", - incubus challenges her.
"Because.."
There are so many things a ring like this means.
"You just want me to wear it to show to others that I am taken", - Alice accuses him.
"An engagement ring means there is a man whom you agreed to marry", - he sighs, - "With the number of men that are after you, I thought it only right for you to wear it"
"Are you afraid I'd ditch you for someone else?", - Alice asks and to her utter surprise Nightmare, usually so proud and confident, looks away in discomfort.
"Nightmare"
He is still looking away.
"Look at me"
When he doesn't, Alice comes closer and gently lays her hands on his cheeks, turning his face to hers.
"I don't have any intention to start any kind of a romantic relationship with anyone else", - she says firmly.
He pulls slightly back and she lifts her hands off his face. Not stepping back, however.
"You can't blame me for being worried", - he says, his voice solemn and quiet, - "Not with the way you keep thinking so many unflattering things about me"
Alice blushes. "That is because you are always so..!"
He gently takes her left hand in his. "I am always trying"
His voice is so soft, it takes her a lot of willpower to suppress a shiver.
"If you don't like it so much, why are you even trying?", - Alice grumbles and looks away.
She isn't worth all of this effort. She knows it better than anyone. With his position and looks, Nightmare surely could find dozens of better prospects than her, a foreign girl with no dowry.
"I've said it before. I am doing it because", - he starts evenly, - "I only want you"
Something is touching her finger. With a start, Alice realizes Nightmare just slipped the ring on it.
"!"
"Leave it", - his voice is borderline cold, but he softens it when their eyes meet, - "Please"
The ring is cold on her finger, a new unfamiliar weight. It is so pretty Alice is afraid she'll lose it. How can he entrust her with such an important thing?
"I have given you something much more important", - he says, eyeing her fondly.
Alice rakes her brain, trying to remember. What could he possibly...
"Goodness, Alice. There is no need to overthink this", - dream demon shakes his head, - "I meant to remind you that you're the keeper of my heart, that's all"
"You don't have one", - she automatically replies. A clock isn't quite the same, he said so himself.
"I don't", - he readily agrees, - "Because it's yours"
He is probably the only man she knows who could say cheesy lines in such an infuriatingly easy manner.
"You've taken it from me long ago, Alice", - he smiles at her, a smile gentle and dreamy, - "Without even realizing it"
She certainly never planned to.
"I know. I am well aware how terrified of romance you are", - he strokes her hand, - "But I am offering you more than that"
He said it all before. Not a romance, but a marriage. Marriage as a contract, an agreement. Security above love.
"Back then you failed to mention your feelings", - she spitefully murmurs, but it only makes the man before her laugh.
"I knew you'd flee the Tower before I'd finish the "L" word", - he gives her another fond smile, - "You are just skittish like that"
He always knew her better than anyone else, Alice thinks with chagrin.
"I still told you how I felt if you care to recall", - Nightmare's voice goes lower, - "When you accepted my proposal, you knew"
"I did", - she murmurs, but he just brings another hand to lift her chin again.
"Does it scare you?", - he asks, voice utterly serious.
What could he mean? So many things that should seem scary (like weapons most of the people here carry) fail to scare her.
"My feelings. The future with me", - he clarifies, - "Does it scare you?"
His feelings. It should have scared her to know how much he cares for her, this frail incubus, so unbelievably powerful. It should have been unnerving to learn you've somehow earned the love of one Nightmare Gottschalk, the man you'd never be able to have any secrets from. The dream demon, who'd chase you down as far as your dreams if he wanted to.
But it never did.
Because he was Nightmare. The one who was a friend from the very start, who had more opportunities than anyone else to take liberties with her, and who never-ever did. The one who was so nice and understanding, it was all too easy to forget just what he was capable of. The man who saw right through her and still found it possible to love her.
The one who went out of his way for her sake so many times.
"No", - an honest answer. The most honest she's given to him. - "I am scared of other things"
He gives her an intent look, and as it often happened before in Dreamrealm, Alice finds herself speaking.
"I am scared something might happen to you. That you'd disappear", - true words, the ones she had such difficulty admitting.
She can't imagine what she'd do then. Should something happen to him, just what would she do?
I am scared of how much I care about you. How important you are to me.
She realizes too late which direction her thoughts took. Before she knows it, his hands are on her shoulders pulling her closer, until his lips are on hers.
Ohdearohdear.
He isn't supposed to be able to kiss like this. At least, not outside his realm. Because it feels as if she was suddenly pulled inside a dream – no kiss is allowed to feel so wonderful, to cloud her mind so much, to make her want.
When he finally lets her go, Alice is about to burst.
"Do you have any idea how long I've been waiting for something like this?", - his whisper is hot, his face happy.
She stubbornly lifts her chin. "You were prepared to marry me even without me loving you"
He gravely nods. "Yes. But I always hoped you'd come around"
His loving gaze is difficult to take. Because that is exactly what happened here.
He made her fall for him.
With his relentless kindness and understanding, with his sincere attempts at becoming someone, she could rely on.
With his quirks and peculiarities. He made her love him.
"I love you, Alice", - he whispers, leaning down to place another quick kiss on her lips.
His words make something inside her bloom. More than anything she wants to say the same, but words just won't leave her mouth.
"It's fine. Take all the time you need", - he hears her thoughts and at this particular instance Alice is glad he can, - "But, please, do me a favour"
He takes her left hand in his.
"Please, Alice. Wear this", - he leans to drop a kiss on her left hand, - "Keep it on until the time comes when I replace it with something better"
As if there could be a prettier ring.
"And while you're waiting, I'd try harder", - he presses one more kiss to her hand, before moving to the door.
"Where are you going?", - Alice can't help herself.
"To call the nurses back. I imagine they'd need some time to attach the IV pole"
Alice couldn't believe her ears. "You seriously are going to let them do it?"
"Well, yes", - he grins over his shoulder, - "You've won the argument, just like always"
"Never expected you to consider it", - Alice whispers.
He returns and leans to whisper into her ear. "Just remember this is all for you"
Author's Notes: this takes place soon after Nightmare's Best End in CnKnA.