Authors Note:
Greetings and salutations to all. Another week has passed, and as such, another chapter of Drifters has dropped. In terms of popularity, this story is on pace to surpass the other two big ones I have written on this site. Which, hopefully, I can take as a sign my writing has improved over the years. Although in actuality, I just think there are more readers on the site now than there were two and five years ago.
That being said, I do appreciate everybody who reads my story, and this was a great week in terms of comments! Speaking of which…
Ltbutterfly287: Thank you so much for the review! The reason I had Charlie state the extermination cycle out loud came from how I interpreted her talking to herself in episode one when she's explaining the origin of Hell and how it ties to her parents. To me this kind of made Charlie seem like somebody who copes with her emotions by talking to herself. Although, my interpretation of that scene could also just be widely off, so I do apologize if that's the case.
As far as Charlie partially blaming herself for the increase in the extermination cycle, it has less to do with her actually being at fault (because I don't think there was anything she could have honestly said to Adam that would have stopped his decision) and more so her being overly hard on herself to the point she'll take blame for stuff that's honestly outside her control. I saw a podcast where the creator and Charlie's VA discuss this aspect of the character, so I tried my best to showcase it through that scene. Although I'll definitely try to improve my writing to make that clearer going forward.
Gamer of Action 44D: First off, awesome profile picture. More of a Mega Sceptile guy myself, but man even I've got to admit the Mega Charizard X's design is awesome. Secondly, thank you for the three reviews. I'll do my best to respond to each one.
Chapter 1: Thank you, pace and a good flow is definitely something I go back and edit the most on chapters, although it's also the thing I struggle with the most.
Chapter 3: The fire scene was a blast to write. And Vaggie and Angel's back and forth during it was hands down my favorite piece of dialogue I think I've ever written. That being said, you're definitely right about a few descriptions and sentences being criminally unreadable, and I'll try to increase the number of proof reads I give each chapter in the future. As well as hopefully get a beta reader to have another set of eyes to read over it.
Chapter 4: The Hazbin cast makes dialogue a joy to write. Like, I'll struggle coming up with a good flow for a conversation between Charlie and Vaggie, or Nester and Charlie… but that problem just simply doesn't exist for me in any verbal exchange Angel, Husk, or Alastor are in.
Alright, I believe that covers the comments. And once again, I'd like to thank all the reviewers for their compliments and constructive criticism.
Also, as briefly mentioned already, I am looking for a beta reader. This isn't just me looking for somebody to help spot all my grammatical mistakes, though I certainly could use all the help I can get in that department, but also somebody I can throw around ideas with regarding the story's outline, pace, character development, and direction. If anybody is interested in such a role, feel free to shoot me a PM.
Now without further adieu, besides my traditional apology revolving around any grammatical stakes that may pop up along the way, I welcome you back too….
Drifters
A Hazbin Hotel Fanfic
Chapter 5:
We All Fall Down
Dusk crept in behind the hotel. And from inside the lobby it appeared as if the oncoming night seeped outwards from the building itself.
By the front door, Nester suppressed a yawn when the first hints of the night washed over him. It was probably still too early to disconnect his jaw in such a way, but he had just had another hell of a day. And his exhaustion simply couldn't contain itself anymore.
The sleep deprivation he had accumulated over the last seventy or so hours had been amplified by Vaggie's intense interview earlier.
Luckily, little stress had come from the security officer's pry into the avian's previous life. For no questions had been asked regarding his real name, where he lived, what was his sin, or how he died.
It was when the white haired woman started demanding answers for the stuff he couldn't possibly know, that his blood pressure rose to the point he almost rocketed himself back to Earth.
Beneath the laser focused 'X' of a bad cop without restraint, Nester was demanded to reveal any relationship he had with the Overlords, Royal Families, or Hellborn contacts legally within, or illegally outside, the Pride Ring.
To which Nester's nervous response had been,
'What's an Overlord?'
'Why does Hell let royal families continue to be royal after they die?'
'I-I think Charlie said something about being born here- Is talking to her illegal?!"
And finally,
'Where's the Pride Ring?'
Despite the butterflies that had migrated in his stomach, not knowing the answers probably did the young man more good than harm. But the explanations Vaggie gave for each was quite terrifying nonetheless.
Considering the spear wielder had used the bird's ignorance as a chance to educate him on Hell's socio political structure. And made it clear what she'd do to him, or anybody else, who utilized the system to threaten the hotel or her girlfriend.
By the time they had moved onto the last part of interview, regarding which role around the hotel would fit him best, Nester was confident he could list more phobias he'd picked up over the four hour conversation with Vaggie, then skills he'd acquired during his lifetime.
Which all accumulated in the young man's current position. Where the duty he was entrusted with amounted to so little, he spent most of his brain power watching the afternoon bleed itself into the evening.
Of course, just as his body let out proof of the night's arrival, business picked up. As the shadow of a candy crane bobbed its way towards the hotel and sprung Nester into action.
The avian grasped the inside handle before the outside one could turn.
With a deep breath he, first tried to use the crisp chill of the bronze to freeze his anxiety in place, then flung the door open,
"W-welcome to the Hazbin Hotel!" the edges of Nester's lips creaked loudly under the strain of his toothed smile, "M-may I take your bags?"
"….."
The night air rushed past Nester's ears in silence and quickly froze his internal scream solid. Outside of that, the only response he got was Angel's deadpan expression.
For a solid minute the white furred arachnid starred in absolute confusion at the avian. And Nester had little doubt the spider was wondering if the bird before him was high or just incredibly stupid.
"… what the fuck is this?" Angel black eye twitched, and Nester's eyes shattered into a scattered sunset beneath the cringe, "Did he have a fucking stroke?"
The multi armed demon shot a quizzical gaze over to the bar. Husk spat into a glass, and his low chuckle hummed the cup clean.
"His brain's working fine. It remembered what Vag's told him to say word for word."
Nester felt the urge to beat his head against the wall until it was painted with said memory.
"Problem is, she had so much common sense, she forgot to tell feather's to use his own."
Angel's eyes looked around for something obvious. Not finding it in Nester's ripened cheeks, the actor shambled his way over to the bar,
"Any I had got fucked away at work," Angel grumbled. Two hands supported his head while another held itself out for a drink, "so want to just give it to me straight."
"I didn't think you took things that way."
A tired look met the bartender's gaze in place of a dirty pun. And instead of the comeback the cat now had to bite back, Husk slushed together a drink and handed it to Angel with an answer.
"When you left for your nine to five, the kid mistook that as a sign Hell offered honest work." the suited feline continued as Angel slowed down the shot headed for his lips, "He asked the gals what he could do to earn his keep. After some convincing, Charlie agreed to let him work at the hotel. Which somehow ended up with Vag's teaching him how to 'fish' while the cartoon princess went out to buy his 'meal'."
Husk nose flared, and Nester could now add guilt on top of his embarrassment,
"Which is probably for the best, because the only skills Vag's wrangled out of him was the piss in his pants."
Nester saw Angel turn back to him with another raised eyebrow. The bird opened his mouth, but no coherent words came out in retort.
Mercifully, the brunette's fumbled attempt at a defense was all the proof the spider needed to realize the cat was being facetious.
"So she gave him the easiest job she could think of." the cat spread his arms out towards the entrance, "Yet low and behold, the Doorboy managed to screw it up."
"Seriously?" Angel managed to down his drink. When he lifted away, his spirit rose behind a soft smirk, "Doorboy?"
"T-the title Vaggie used was Doorman." Nester shied away from the two grins shot towards him,
"And whatever miss cut-throat says must be true." Husk rolled his eyes, "Don't kid yourself feather's. Until you think for yourself with the two brain cells it takes to swing a hinge, you're nothing more then the Doorboy… and even that title might be generous"
"Awe, come on whiskers~" Angel flirted. Leaning over, the spider demon shrugged off the mood he came in with, "The greeting could use work, but the wittle man,"
Husk growled when Angel poked his nose. And Nester blinked twice, and adjusted his embarrassment into a frown.
"held it open like a gentleman, so cut the new Doorman some slack-"
"New what?"
The wooden door flew open. A Jenga tower of shopping bags and boxes wobbled atop two thin support beams.
"Woah!" Charlie's happy tone tilted as she fought to keep the product pyramid she carried from eroding to gravity, "Easy! Easy! I've got yeah-"
Three suckered mouths, and six to twelve eyes, watched the owner's slow sideways shuffle through the door turn into a fast pace tap when the metal frame swung back around. It struck her side, and sent her kiltering around the lobby.
"I don't have yeah! I don't have yeah!" Charlie panicked.
"You were saying?" Husk smirked at Angel.
The actor simply started another drink while he continued to watch the prime time train wreck.
Nester did so sober until Husk's words caused him to look at the dancing demon, then to the door that had kick started her tempo, then back to the demon.
"C-crap!" the avian's eyes dilated in delayed understanding, and he moved to try and help steady his boss, "let me just… umm… here-"
Intercepting the unstable structure proved far from and easy. Charlie and the bags went by a fast-forwarded blur, and Nester struggled to find a good scene to pause the video on.
"You know if you're going to try and help." Angel snickered from the bar, "You should start by trying to help."
"That'd be sound advice if it wasn't such a shit stain of a joke." Husk deadpanned.
"Hey!"
"No, I'm fine… and that was a clean and funny joke Angel! Hehe-" Charlie's laugh tried to offer encouragement, and then cut itself off when the forced giggle sent a tremor through the collapsing structure, "but also kind of mean, so- Woah boy!"
"What the hell is going on down-" Vaggie came down rubbing her temples, then paused on top of the staircase to rub her eye and patch.
The chaos of the shopping tower had risen high enough to alert the upstairs residents. But it still took the white haired woman a second to believe the emergency she saw.
"Hey Vaggie! You're going to love what I-" Charlie turned to beam a strained smile of comfort at her girlfriend. When she leaned back to send it… so did the tower, "Mayday! Mayday!"
Charlie sirened on repeat. She backed up quickly, but was unable to catch up to the center of balance that had slipped away.
Nester had been able to catch up to the problem though. Or, more accurately, the problem had finally caught up to Nester. As Charlie's back slammed into the new employee's arm.
To his credit, the man's wings flared out and managed to provide some degree of stability. Enough to anchor him and the owner's stumble in place.
Unfortunately, the pyramid's momentum didn't care that its stilts had stopped. And the keystone Charlie propped up slid from her palms.
The bird, blonde, and the crowd around them were able to get one blink in to understand the extranet of their situation… before it rained down on them an avalanche of clothes, posters, electronics, and boxes.
Compared to the actual bullets Nester had taken the previous day, the current hailstorm struck him with more embarrassment than pain. And once the paper and cardboard settled, the feathered man stood in the debris with boiled cheeks that matched Charlie's natural ones.
"What… the… hell?" Vaggie growled down to the bar, "Did neither of you two think to help?"
"She got it all the way here without help didn't she?" Angel took a sip from his glass,
"It's my fault Vaggie." Charlie tried to offer reassurance, but grimaced at the sight of the floor sale, "I should have been more careful opening the door."
"…" the white haired woman turned her glare towards Nester. His wings drooped.
"W-which shouldn't have been closed to begin with."
"Oooohhh! So that's what you guys meant by Doorman! Congratulations Nester!" Charlie's enthusiastic smile was met by a deadpanned silence.
"… t-thanks" the new employee croaked out.
"So if fucking up gets you a new ringer, what's my pay for not shitting the bed on a daily basis?"
Husk crossed his arms, only for Angel's hand to crawl up the cat's tux.
"You get to fuck me up-"
The gamblers claws clamped onto the furred fingers, and crushed them and the flirt in one go,
"…" Angel pupils shattered to the beat of his cracked wrist.
"… s-should… w-we start cleaning it up?" Nester hesitantly asked, "O-or I can. Since you know-"
"It's fine…" Vaggie, once again, massaged her temples, "I mean, it's actually shit, but Niffty will clean it up. Probably got a high when she heard the noise. Why don't you just lock up for the night."
"O-on it." Nester paced through the debris like a minefield to the front door.
His steps echoed through the awkward silence he left in his wake.
"Soooo if you're off duty-" Angel's hum to Husk was more a hiss of agony. Yet even though the pain of the first lines snapped, the actor cast out the next of his remaining five.
"That means we can do evening activities!" Charlie eyes ballooned out her head when she latched onto the bait before the feline,
Angel's lips dropped to the ground faster than his useless arm.
"… any chance we'll get a weather delay?"
The spider's eyes trailed across the flooded lounge with hope. If on cue, a cyclop's eyes all but dilated into a smile of glee from the top.
Niffty jogged in place so quickly an earthquake may have just destroyed a continent up top. Not that they'd be an issue for the maid. Who swooshed down the stairs and into the mess with enough speed to clear out a city in a day.
When Nester clicked the front door shut, he turned around to a half cleared floor, and three stacked towers. Each with far greater support structures then the mobile one they were birthed from.
From their growing base, Vaggie offered a smirk to the furred demon.
"Nope."
XxxxxxX
Within ten minutes, the cyclop's Sinner had cleared out the mess, and after twenty, the lounge was cleaner than it was before Charlie stepped in the door.
Atop her stage, the only thing the heiress could see out of place was the four bar stools they had moved to house the small audience below her.
It was hardly an intimidating amount of people, and certainly no TV interview/brawl watched by millions, yet Charlie found the need to take in a few deep breaths.
The lesson plans and schedule for her redemption program was something the heiress knew like the back of her hand. She had spent months rehearsing and memorizing her talking points, but even now her hand snaked its way down to par her pocket. To ease herself with the anchor her flashcards provided her emotions.
The gesture brought a small smile to the blonde's lips, but it faltered slightly when she locked eyes with the crowd.
Whose occupants seemed more, well, occupied with one another right now than the program she had prepared.
Nifty swarmed up and down her stool. Her head constantly twitched back to the three towers she organized earlier. The sadistic smile the cyclops wore made her look like she wanted to knock them all down. Just so she could go through the joy of rebuilding them.
The three other listeners were currently in a silent disagreement amongst themselves.
Angel had sent another purr towards Husk. Which had triggered the bartender to silently grab both his seat and Nester's, and physically switch them as if they were a rook and a king.
Whatever defense being one person away from Angel offered the cat was lost by the fact the spider was eight feet tall and simply leaned his flirtation over the bird. So all it really did was draw Nester's eyes onto the one sided cat and mouse affair rather than the stage.
Charlie sucked in a cold air past her toothed grin. A quick gray blur in the corner of her eyes revealed Vaggie. Her girlfriend's two thumbs up lifted her lips back into place.
She could do this, this is what they planned and spent so many sleepless nights working on. Once she got the ball rolling everything, and everybody, else would fall into place,
"A-ahem" Charlie coughed into her hand, waiting for the wandering eyes to follow their owners ears, "T-thank you all for coming tonight"
The heiress' voice cracked. Husk's eyebrow left little doubt it went unnoticed.
"I know everybody had fun at the Meet and Feast this morning," she slowly walked across the front of the stage, "and how lucky are we to be able to end the day like it started!"
"With cannibalism!" Niffty squealed.
Husk suddenly looked like he regretted switching to a seat closer to the maid.
"N-not… exactly." Charlie stuttered. Then gulped when she saw three pairs of wide eyes shoot into her, "And by that I mean not at all."
The red blazered trenched herself on the stage.
"This morning you all got acquainted with one another, and you all got to express the differences that make you unique."
"That's one way to describe it." Husk grumbled when Angel made a suggestive gesture at his uniqueness.
"N-now," Charlie increased her volume to regain control, "we get to discuss the same reason you're all here."
"Because we have no choice?" a quick redirection of his opened mouth allowed Angel to speak up first.
Charlie bit her lips to keep her smile.
"We didn't force you to be here." Vaggie growled at the spider,
"Maybe not me," Angel looped a hand to tap his chest fur, "but those three were definitely kidnapped."
Charlie raised a shaky hand to calm Vaggie down before spears and Tommy guns could make Niffty's day.
"Of course, I'm talking about your strive for redemption." Charlie taped up her guard, a comfort to keep going as if no interruption had happened, "Because here at the Hazbin Hotel, we believe no soul is too lost for salvation!"
The blonde recalled placing a pause in her skit for applause… none came. She grabbed her collar and stretched it out to fill the time.
"As you all know, I am Charlie Morningstar," she kept going despite Angel's over overplayed yawn, "otherwise known as the princess of Hell, and as the daughter of Lucifer-"
"Lucifer?!" Nester's voice almost crossed the threshold of becoming a shout. And the blonde's realization of her mistake inflated alongside the bird's eyes, "Like the devil Lucifer?! Your dad's satan?!"
Charlie's face dropped when she realized he hadn't placed two and two together back when they had discussed the merits of magical whips and vampires.
"Here we go." Angel leaned back, ready for the show.
"W-well… no… Satan's somebody else… and I would call my dad more a Fallen Angel then a devil-"
"Wait…" Nester looked around, and Charlie cringed, wishing now of all time wasn't the moment his shock overwrote his timid nature, "are you the… are you the Antichrist?!"
A pause echoed from the crowd and across the stage.
"That's actually a good fucking question." Angel whispered behind a face that momentarily suckered inward.
"No it's not! It's a fucking stupid one! Of course she's not the Antichrist!" Vaggie hissed out with clenched fist.
Charlie tried to usher everybody to calm down with open palms, but she was quickly losing control of the situation,
"L-Let's all just take a step back. I assure you I'm not some religious figure of destruction."Charlie smiled at Nester. He stared back as if he only saw her fangs… or maybe he was wondering just who she inherited them from, "I only want to help humans earn their way into Heaven. Heck, I am half human to begin with, my mom was the first woman in existence."
"… the first woman in existence?", the brunette's mind struggled, "do you mean… Eve? Like from Adam and Eve? Is everything from religion real- What am I saying, I'm in Hell!"
The avian looked like he realized a whole new implication of what that meant.
"Well… some parts" Charlie admitted, before shaking her head, "b-but others are wrong. Like Eve was the second woman created. My mom Lilith was Adam's first wife."
"… but you just said your dad was the devil?"
Charlie felt her skull begin to strain beneath the force of two tectonic mountains that wanted to rise to the surface. The blonde hated it when people used that term. But she took in a deep breath that nearly sucked all the oxygen from the room, and reminded herself that everything down here was still new to Nester.
"As I said, he's a fallen arch angel… you see what happened was-"
"He got caught having a threesome?" Angel's uncensored curiosity blurted out.
Charlie's irises shattered, as she was faced with something she could never unhear. She desperately looked over to Vaggie for help.
Unfortunately, her girlfriend also seemed flabbergasted by the remark. Worse yet, the security officer's face paled. As if Vaggie briefly questioned if such a statement could be true or not.
"No! That's not… my parents…. It all started when Adam-"
"Oh do go on, give us the juicy details~" Angel purred,
"Don't you fucking dare!" Husk growled back,
"Oh my God… this means God's real." on his own run away tangent, Nester's eyes went blank with all his flashed conclusions,
"WOULD ALL OF YOU SHUT UP!" Vaggie shouted to both the crowd and herself, as the spear she materialized seemed ready to strike down the conversation, and the unwanted mental illusions it conjured in her own mind.
The world followed her command… but after a few deep pants, she looked at Charlie with immense guilt.
"I-I'm sorry she didn't mean to-" the owner began to rasp out. Her hand darted to her pockets, but found no comfort in an anchor when the sea was this turbulent. Out of control, her neurons sped up to the point of stillness.
Unable to breath, Charlie's thoughts couldn't muster up a way to complete her own apology. Less she have to deal with the disaster her programs first true day had become-
"N-no… she's right", Nester actually spoke up first. His feather ruffled in his own discomfort. Whether at being yelled at by a demonic bodyguard or because his own embarrassment had gone off track first, it was hard to say but likely due to both, "I-I shouldn't have interrupted your speech it's just… well… guess it's not everyday you meet the daughter of… you know."
The shock of Nester apologies tore Charlie back into motion. Underneath the weight of another person's guilt, she felt her eyes traversed downward, only to be raised again.
"A-and find out she's the nicest person in Hell."
"With the most mundane sense of morality to boot," Angel huffed with a smile, "but maybe that ain't such a bad thing."
"So long as it keeps you in check." Husk grunted at the spider demon, and in a way, offered his own small form of apology.
Charlie looked on in astonishment, until Vaggie came out of her own to motion for the heiress to pick up the momentum,
"Thanks guys…", she breathed, "as you can see, we're all human and prone to rash judgments and mistakes. But…"
She felt the horns that had threatened to emerge retreat, and a smile formed in their place.
"But we can also admit to having them… and as simple as that may seem, it means deep down we all have a sense of atonement. A desire to be a better person." Charlie stepped up, "I know… I know right now you guys may not actually believe that's enough to redeem a Sinner, but I do. And by the time this is over, I promise, you will all be in Heaven."
Vaggie uncurled a rope by the side, and true to her schedule for once, a banner fell down behind the princess of Hell. The phrase, 'REDEMPTION 101', spelt out in all its innocent and hopeful glory,
"Having earned your place amongst the Angels."
XxxxxxX
Thanks to all who have read through the fifth chapter. I will try my best to upload a chapter every Friday. But until next week, please feel free to leave a comment! Criticism is always welcomed, so long as there's an attempt for it to be constructive.
And to anyone interested in becoming a beta reader, feel free to shoot me a PM.