Chapter 20: Small Talk

(Tuesday September 23 Amegakure Inn Room 302 Night)

~Nina~

"Okay?" Nina grumbled, ripping back the shower curtain.

With the air chilling her skin, she wrapped a towel around herself and repeated the question several more times in varying intonations. Naturally, her reflection offered nothing useful, failing to soothe the heat of her pent-up emotions.

Nina spun around to re-evaluate her outfit choice for the hundredth time—an emerald, free-flowing skirt that fell just above her knees and a cream, off-the-shoulder, long-sleeved top with lace detailing. Hanako might have even commended her…if she were here.

Beating the newly purchased bottle of black nail polish into her palm, Nina found humour in the irony of tonight. She was going on a date with a man who never dated.

No. Tell the truth, Nina.

Nina shook her head and untwisted the bottle's lid. The Copy-Nin did and had dated. Whether it was a fling or a series of one-night stands, it was still dating, and…

"How many guys have you been with, Sarutobi?"

If his question had been about missions, Nina's answer would have rolled off her tongue like the smoothest saké. But he hadn't, and the truth remained unsaid within her locked jaw.

And there it's going to stay.

Nina blew a gentle stream of air across the nails of her left hand, remembering how she'd done the same for her first date.

~Flashback~

(Konohagakure Nina's Apartment Night-time Nina 16 years old)

The bitter winter winds that came with this time of year whistled outside Nina's bedroom window. Flurries of white flakes swirled and fell to the ground, coating Konoha in a thin blanket of snow. Nina stood staring aimlessly out the window, clutching a red envelope with a broken metallic-green wax seal, lost in contemplation.

She'd seriously considered skipping the stupid charade.

The envelope contained an exclusive invitation to Konoha's Annual Holiday Party. This year it was being held at Kikyō Castle. In any case, it was likely to be nothing more than—as it was every year—an excuse to gorge on food, drown in alcohol, and rub shoulders with a handful of supposedly honoured guests from across the Five Nations. For Nina, it would be a spewing of pretentious holiday well-wishes whilst dressed in gaudy traditional formal attire.

There was a time she would've attended this celebration out of respect for her family's stature within the village. Tonight, it was due to her sense of duty as a shinobi and a smidge of whimsy.

Thumbing the seal, Nina inspected her nails. She'd scrubbed them, and yet, it hadn't lifted the evidence of her last mission. Three days later, and after the umpteenth shower, the blood had stained her nails and skin; the iron scent thickly imbued her hair and clothes. All she could do was hope that a heavy spritz of perfume would mask it.

Tossing the envelope onto her bed, she opened one of the top drawers of her dresser and pulled out three bottles of nail polish. The deep burgundy or black would disguise the actual state of her nails. In the spirit of Christmas and all that, she should have chosen…

"Bah, humbug! Black it is," Nina announced decidedly.

Standing at the foot of her bed, blowing on her nails to aid in drying them quicker, she digressed over her limited clothing choices. Konoha's traditional formal dress code was a kimono. However, deciding to go at the eleventh hour meant it was too late to get one, and nothing in her wardrobe would fit. In fact, the last kimono she'd worn was almost ten years ago. Back when her older brother, Asuma, was a big part of her life and was still in Konoha. Now, she was the age he was when he left. Although Nina couldn't be further from the term 'sweet sixteen'.

Scooping up the sleeveless, turtle-necked, long, mauve dress, she slipped her head through the top and untucked the bottom half from the bunched-up fabric around her waist. The material fell to reveal the front leg split that stopped at her mid-thigh. She tugged on the ribbon attached to the silver zipper at the back of the dress, cinching it closed. She'd also need a jacket or cardigan of some sort, at least until she got there. Skimming through the hangers, she pulled out a grey cardigan with white fur trim with a cord tie across her bust.

Having pinned her hair half up and half down, Nina examined herself in her mirror's reflection and sighed. She knew her father, the Third Hokage, would admonish her for something.

Upon hearing the knock on the front door, Nina snatched her invitation, folding it on her way to greet her guest. Omitting pleasantries, she threw out her only warning for the night. "If you try to kiss me under the mistletoe, I'm going to start swinging. I don't care about tradition, Shiranui. "

He adjusted the lapels of his jacket. "I take it by that; you don't want me to treat you like a lady?"

"Definitely not," Nina replied, shoving him backwards. Bending over, she slid the folded invitation between the strap of her kunai pouch and the bindings around her right thigh. Standing upright, she continued, "If you do, I might start developing something resembling the beginnings of self-respect, and we can't have that, now, can we?"

Genma laughed while still gripping the senbon between his teeth. "I suppose not."

Double-checking she'd key-locked her door, Nina heaved another sigh, linking arms with Genma.

~End of Flashback~

Nina jolted as several soft thuds landed against their room's door. She glanced at the clock—six o'clock. Hatake had told her that exact time. Twice.

"C-coming!" Nina sang out.

She finally buckled her second black kitten heel. She stamped the floor with an annoyed huff, blaming the challenge on her unbound hair, unready to acknowledge the flittering sensation in the pit of her stomach.

Nina stood at the door, staring at the doorknob and toying with the plain, gold bangle around her left wrist.

Why is he waiting?

Hatake could have easily opened the door; he had a room key. That question quickly jumped ship.

What if I don't open the door?

Unconsciously, Nina backstepped, wavering at the thought for a second. A date wasn't imperative for the mission.

Is it?

In a rush of dubiousness and experience, Nina was convinced of the night's failure. Their conversation would be awkward and stilted, or worse, drowned out by the hoopla of other patrons in whatever restaurant Hatake had secured a reservation. The food would be overpriced, resulting in either her or him having some foodborne illness—probably the Copy-Nin, leaving her to play nurse-maid for the rest of the night.

After, what felt like an eternity of trying to analyse and understand the sudden onset of cold feet, Nina ceased spinning the gold bangle and reached for the doorknob. They could just pretend. Ultimately, that was all this was.

Pretend.

(Amegakure Village Night)

~Kakashi~

Few things managed to unstitch Kakashi. No matter the request, he did his best to serve his duty. But truthfully, tonight's undertakings made him hesitant, weary, and pray that all went well.

He wasn't the only one.

"Relax," Kakashi hushed, giving Nina's hand a slight shake to encourage her to loosen her vice-like hold on his hand.

"I-I'm sorry. I just," Nina paused, her eyebrows furrowing. "This is just a little different to what I'm used to."

Kakashi's pocketed fist flinched. Thankfully, his anxious response was concealed from the kunoichi as they strolled through the village. Passing the last building, he eyed the sky, grateful the weather continued to play kind.

"Where are you taking me, Hatake?"

"You'll see," Kakashi replied, leading the kunoichi up the hillside.

Progressing up the incline, he guided Nina into the hulking shadows of the tree at the hill's peak. Kakashi slowed as they rounded around the tree's trunk, taking care of each step to not trip on the winding root system. The night was calm and quiet around them, and no one was in sight, only the moon above.

He left Nina for a moment, returning with something in hand. He cautiously approached her. "Thank you for wearing your hair down."

Nina softly laughed. "You asked so nice—" Her voice broke off as she tentatively lifted a hand to her head.

Kakashi stared at her with a soft gaze, admiring how the moonlight illuminated her skin and reflected off the water beads that clung to the delicate, pink petals of the crown of lilies adorning her head. He gently freed the caught strands of her hair, silently thinking her beautiful. Kakashi had always thought Nina beautiful—

—in a strictly platonic, observing-from-afar kind of way.

He cleared his throat and pulled out the lighter he'd been thumbing from his pocket. On his knees, Kakashi lit the candles scattered around the perimeter of a blue-checkered rug he'd laid out earlier.

"Is something wrong?" he asked.

~Nina~

"No," Nina replied. However, judging by the smallest falter in Kakashi's hand when lighting the last candle, her reply was a little too biting. Nina took a steadying breath, scooping the back of her skirt flush against her bottom and knelt on the rug. "Not at all," she amended.

All around, the newly lit firelights flickered, and in the centre of the rug sat a wicker picnic basket, along with a bottle of saké. It was simple and secluded.

"Saké?" Kakashi asked, holding out a cup.

With a strangely dry mouth, Nina forced her words out. "Yes, please."

His hand laying over hers finally stilled her jittering hand as he filled her cup. Nina had never been so nerve-ridden. Not for her first exam, mission, kill, or life-saving treatment.

She took small sips, watching Kakashi unpack plates and bowls from the basket. All of which smelt and looked incredible.

"What would you like?" Kakashi asked, his hand dipping into the basket and withdrawing another bowl.

Nina perused the bountiful spread. It was more than two people's worth and made her contemplate if nerves had affected...her eyes darted to the Copy-Nin and back to the food.

Stupid, Nina.

She'd never seen Hatake lose his composure in all her time knowing him. He navigated the world with a seemingly carefree demeanour, taking every moment in his stride and acting as though nothing really got to him. This…fake date was not about to change that.

"That looks good." Nina pointed to the plate of onigiri that Kakashi had just uncovered. He held the plate out for her to take one piece and set it back on the rug.

Sensing a familiarity about the final plate Kakashi set out, Nina asked, "Did you make this?"

"I can't take all the credit," Kakashi said, reaching for a piece of onigiri, to which Nina immediately averted her eyes. "Kimi and some of the children helped."

Nina covered her mouth and swallowed, taken aback by the Copy-Nin's efforts. The food preparations would have taken all afternoon to prepare with children underfoot.

Shit.

Nina hurriedly reached for a napkin, first dabbing her chin and then wiping the spilled saké from the backs of her hands. Cleaned up, she tried again to take a sip, only to find her cup empty. Her eyes snapped up to Kakashi. Waiting.

Waiting for something more. A chuckle, a joke or a sniped remark. Anything that would break the ice.

"Another?" Kakashi asked, pointing to the bottle of saké.

There it is. Thank fuck.

Nina breathed out, her shoulders dropped. She held her cup up, much steadier this time. "Yes, please," she replied.

Unaccustomed to a large, wholesome meal like tonight's, Nina chose to eat the unfamiliar and visually appealing dishes. Kakashi refused to reveal the dish's name and its' creator: creators until she guessed the ingredients. She laughed at his excusal of Maya's heavy-handed garnishing using vivid yellow chrysanthemum petals. Her humour faded to cynicism.

"Shame on you, Hatake," Nina said, pressing a fingertip at a time onto stray chrysanthemum petals. "How many times did you convince your students something like this was for a mission?"

"None. This is a first," Kakashi replied calmly.

Rather than floating some of the petals on the surface of her drink, her finger plunged into her cup, drowning them. Her eyes roved from the Copy-Nin's glove-bare hands upwards. He wore a black shirt and pants, and an eye patch with rope tethering covered his left eye.

"What about you?" Kakashi asked as he began stacking empty plates and bowls.

As much as she wanted to, Nina thought it rude to outright laugh in his face. Instead, she sculled her saké and collected two empty plates, passing them to Kakashi. "Same."

"I see," he said.

Nina did her best to ignore the crawl of heat along her cheekbones as she helped reassemble the picnic basket.

When Kakashi excused himself, disappearing into the denser treeline, presumedly answering the plight of nature's call, Nina gently blew out each of the candles. She placed them in the small wooden crate at the tree's base, along with her flower crown and made her way down to the lakeside.

Nina vaguely recalled describing a similar unfanciful scene to Master Jiraiya when he queried her ideal date. However, her description paled in comparison.

Bathed in the moonlight and twinkling stars, she almost lost her breath in awe. But not wanting to miss a single enchanting detail, she let her eyes unhurriedly soak up the scenery, from how the moonlight skimmed the understated ripples of the lake's surface to how small clusters of fireflies danced all around.

~Kakashi~

Kakashi removed his eye patch, leaving it with the flower crown and followed his nose to the lakeside. Without noticing, he stalled, arrested by the beguiling silhouette at the water's edge.

It wasn't like he'd planned it. Not like he expected it. His intentions had been relatively pure and rationalised with a need to fulfil the conditions of their mission when he asked Sarutobi on a date. Yet as he looked at her, Kakashi found himself really seeing her, and the longer he stood there, the more he ideated on things he would elsewise ignore.

"I want to apologise for something, Hatake," Nina said. Kakashi wandered to stand beside her. "Last night, I moved your book." Listening, Kakashi kept his eyes ahead. "I don't know if I put it, them," Nina corrected, "in the right place. I'm sorry."

"No need to apologise," Kakashi replied.

He wasn't usually so careless with his belongings during a mission. Even D-Rank missions called for vigilance. That being said, Sarutobi didn't apologise lightly. Although, that didn't mean she was about to offer a night of meaningless sex.

Kakashi rubbed the back of his neck. He never openly shared personal details nor saw the value in talking or asking stupid things to make conversation. But this date would be over if he didn't act soon.

"I spend a great deal of my time at the cenotaph when in Konoha." Kakashi gave Nina a side-eyed glance to check her response. As their eyes met, he looked back at the lake. "Having their photos enables me to talk to them on missions."

"Is that why you're always late?" Nina asked with polite curiosity.

Kakashi hummed. "Something like that, I suppose." He looked at the starlit sky with both eyes open. "I guess Obito gave me more than just the sharingan."

He couldn't recall the last time he'd been comfortable enough to speak the names of his fallen comrade out loud.

"Are you really blaming your comrades for your bad habits?" Nina teased.

Kakashi closed his left eye and turned his head to look at Nina. She had turned her body side-on to face him with her arms crossed. He copied.

"Not at all," Kakashi said. The Autumn night air blew in a burst, messing Nina's hair into her face. He carefully smoothed the flyaways from one side, curling them behind her left ear. "I used to frown upon them." Kakashi tucked all the remaining whisps of Nina's hair behind her right ear. "But kindness, compassion…" He steadily dropped his hand, the backs of his knuckles skimming over the lace and fabric of her sleeve. "Well," Kakashi paused, intently watching the fireflies' intermittent glow reflecting in the depths of Nina's dark brown eyes. "I'm still learning it all."

Sarutobi was giving him a knowing look as if he'd shared a sacred secret with her.

Because he had.

He clenched his jaw; his attempt at small talk somehow became something more.

~Nina~

Nina didn't know what to say. The Copy-Nin's admission hit her in the chest like an unmetered punch from Lady Tsunade, flooding her with heat and something else she didn't quite understand. It didn't feel like a game—flirting that'd gone too far.

With her thoughts momentarily scrambled, Nina watched as Kakashi dug two fingers under the upper cuff of her right sleeve, pulling it down a few centimetres and exposing her bare bicep.

"No tattoo?" Kakashi questioned.

Nina thought it impossible for Hatake not to have noticed her tattoo anomaly before now. "Yes. Just not there," she replied curtly.

As his fingers withdrew from her body, Nina slowly twisted her head to meet Kakashi's intense gaze. It was filled with concern and curiosity. Her eyebrows pinched together, not understanding his sudden interest. Still, Kakashi said nothing. His eyes scanned Nina up and down, silently questioning her mark's location.

Deciding it wasn't any great secret, Nina turned side-on, angling herself to best use the moon's light. She pulled the hem of her shirt from the bottom right-hand corner, baring her right side up to her bustline to the Copy-Nin. She briefly glanced at him before focusing on the lake ahead.

Nina counted the fireflies as Kakashi's fingertips traced over the black swirled tattoo etched into her skin just below her right breast. A trail of goosebumps followed his touch, spreading and growing, but her breathing stayed steady.

Nine, ten, eleven…

Nina stepped back from him and straightened her shirt. "I'd like to say it was for some incredibly cool reason," she said, holding her skirt tightly to the backs of her thighs as she sat down. "But it was nothing more than a rebellious daughter's dirty little secret."

The breeze blew again, making her shiver.

Without asking, Kakashi sat behind Nina, laying a leg on either side of her. Unsure of what was to come next, Nina simply sat there unchanged.

"The Professor didn't know you joined ANBU?" Kakashi asked.

Age, background, gender, or previous rank bared no significance in the selection criteria. Those shinobi with ANBU-compatible personalities were traditionally hand-picked by their village leader.

"No." Nina flexed her right ankle. "Not at first."

Professor. Lord Third. Sandaime. Konohagakure's Third was a title of prodigious respect and adulation. Nina pushed her tongue to the roof of her mouth. Her opinions of her late father had always been her own business.

"I loved my father and the village," Nina said, brushing out the creases of her skirt. "I still love the village. But…" With a shaky breath, she closed her eyes. This was the sort of shit that she was supposed to take with her in death. Nina opened her eyes, fixing them straight ahead. "I was there the day you saved Tenzō." She slowly spun her bangle around her left wrist. "Asuma had just left, and Da—"

Nina shook her head, pushing out an airy half-arsed laugh slash scoff from her mouth and nostrils. "He never cared about me. I meant nothing to him." She drew her knees to her chest, hugging them tightly while resting her chin atop them. "I did everything right." That was the worst part—if she had done wrong, if she could pinpoint some flaw, some rotten thing, she could have understood. "Despite my best efforts…well, it was just never enough."

Nina had tried to sound indifferent but knew her anger and agony lay clearly within her words.

"So you sought out Lord Orochimaru?"

"Mhm," Nina affirmed, stretching out her legs.

Not my proudest moment.

"Got caught and was subjected to Ibiki's interrogation at the Third's request," she continued.

Not his proudest moment either.

"I'd barely recuperated before Ibiki, the fucking brute, came knocking on my door with an invitation."

~Kakashi~

Kakashi's head was reeling hearing the tragedy and wonderment of Sarutobi's dark past. Undoubtedly, most, if not all, shinobi grew up and did things they said they'd never do. Nonetheless, he wished he could say or do something to soothe and make Nina understand that he did care.

Unlike back then…

~Flashback~

(ANBU Kakashi 16 years old, Nina 14 years old)

"Are you alright?" Kakashi asked. He'd been ordered to make more of an effort with his communication as a leader. "That was…" he trailed off. Despite rehearsing it several times beforehand, he still thought it was delusory. ANBU was a system few shinobi entered, and even fewer came out alive. However, orders were orders. "That was a lot. Especially for your first mission."

"Don't worry about me," Nina bit back. "I was preconditioned to this shit from an early age."

"Those two sentences don't work together," Genma said, battling to escape his bedroll. "We can't help but worry about you if you keep saying shit like that, little Saru—"

"I will shove that damn toothpick in your eye if you call me that again, Shiranui," Nina threatened.

As he would until dawn broke, Kakashi scanned the surroundings. He understood perfectly well what the kunoichi had meant. Shinobi life was brutal, bloody and horrific. The sharp-tongued kunoichi, new to team Ro, appeared to have a firm hold of reality and didn't need care or concern.

~End of Flashback~

Kakashi looked down at the kunoichi, who'd sunken into his lap. There was no awkwardness, just a sense of familiarity and…relief. The intimacy of the moment was not lost on him, the trust she so willingly offered. Something that had been building so steadily that there was barely a minute to realise how far they'd come until they were in a quiet moment like this.

"I feel safe with you watching my back," Nina remarked. "You're like an older, stronger brother. Or maybe a big dog."

Kakashi smiled down at the cheeky kunoichi. He would have liked to think it was partly a compliment, knowing she favoured the biggest of his ninken, but no man wanted their courtship—pretend or not—to be compared to a sibling relationship.

"I'm beginning to understand why you're having trouble getting a boyfriend," Kakashi quipped.

"That's not the problem," Nina huffed. "I'm easily upset and outwardly aggressive," she held up her index finger followed by her middle finger, "which is a terrible combination."

Kakashi granted her that.

"Boss, he's arrived," Pakkun announced, appearing in a puff of smoke.

~End of Chapter~