Old and New Memories

Kelsi sat patiently at one of the patio tables outside Sawmill Market, a middle point to their opposite ends of town. There was a relaxed and solemn air that hung today. Memorial Day might be a holiday, but it often carried a weight to it as the country remembered their servicemen and women who watched selflessly over the nation. Apparently a parade had slowed him down and Jason was still a few minutes away for their date. Her heart did a little flip-flop at the term. Was this actually a date? Just friends catching up? A lunch date? She still wasn't sure if she was ready to call it that. For now, she tried to convince herself it was just two friends meeting for lunch. Yet, a nagging voice whispered that the butterflies in her stomach and the extra care she had taken with her appearance today said otherwise.

Kelsi, get a grip! She scolded herself silently. It's only Jason. Soon "only Jason" was in her view as he exited his Jeep and made his way towards the outdoor table where Kelsi was sitting.

"Hey! Sorry I'm late," he said as he flipped off his black aviators and pulled out the chair opposite hers.

As if the glasses weren't enough, he looked really...different. The warm day had him in cargo shorts and a dark t-shirt, showcasing his toned forearms and broad shoulders, but there was also a confidence in his posture, a glint in his eye that sent a shiver down her spine. Maybe it was just the weather, but this certainly wasn't the Jason she remembered from high school.

"That's okay, this is nothing compared to the hectic traffic in New York." She finally replied, feeling a bit silly for the small talk.

"True, I bet New York has been a huge adjustment from Albuquerque. Can't imagine living there, how are you doing out there really?" he asked.

"Oh, I'm pretty sure once my program is over I'm packing up and getting out of there. I'd have to have a really good reason to stick around that madness." A police car flew by with its sirens blaring, reminding her of the daily occurrence that was back in New York.

"Well it'd be nice to have you back," he said, then quickly stood, "and I've already kept you waiting long enough. Ready to eat?" Kelsi smiled softly and nodded. Maybe she'd figure out what he meant by that comment later, but for now she was starving. "Yeah, let's go."

The bell above the doorway chimed a cheerful tune as Jason held the door for Kelsi and they ducked into a wave of warm, fragrant air, aromatic with the earthy scents of turmeric and cumin mingled with the gentle heat of chilies. The cafe's interior buzzed with conversation and the rhythmic sizzle coming from the open kitchen.

"This looks like a nice variety, good choice. Anything catching your eye?" he asked with a gentle nudge at her elbow.

Once they got their food, they headed back out to the find their table was still open and Jason quickstepped ahead of Kelsi to pull her chair out for her. She felt a slight blush creep over her cheeks, not being used to this gentlemanly treatment from a guy.

He sat down opposite her again and noticed the flush in her cheeks just as it was fading away. "You alright?" He asked as he forked up a bite.

Kelsi turned her attention to her own plate and tried to keep her hand from shaking as she grabbed her fork. "Yeah I'm fine, just pretty warm out here." They settled in on their first few bites, both eliciting small nods of approval at the flavours.

"This is actually really good, not too spicy" Kelsi remarked before taking another bite.

"Yeah it's great," Jason added, "my mom's a whiz in the kitchen, but it definitely revolves more around pasta and olive oil, lots of olive oil."

"Your parents must be proud of you."

"So they tell me, but they're probably just glad I'm out of their house."

"You don't live at home anymore?"

"No, I've got a place across town. Sometimes it feels like I jumped ahead pretty quick to be working when everyone else is still studying but I'm happy to have my independence. My family has always been a bit overbearing. Hard to blame them, dad in the army, a crazy Italian mom, so it's been nice to have the freedom."

"I didn't know your dad was in the army," Kelsi said with an inquisitive tilt of her head.

"Yeah he's been around more the last couple years since he switched to a training position, but he wasn't pretty much my whole life. Probably why no one has really met him."

"That must've been hard growing up like that. My dad and I were always close, can't imagine not having him around like I did."

Jason fiddled with his fork and looked across the table to take Kelsi in as he hadn't had the chance to yet. She had a light green shirt on under a cropped denim vest with a few buttons and pins from her collection on the pockets. He could see her tan capris and dark green flats through the glass table. She looked like summer encapsulated and he mentally kicked himself to focus on the conversation again.

"Yeah it was tough, but enough about that," he said, brushing aside the memories that could dampen the mood, "you said you'd like to come right back after school. Has there not been anything about living in New York that you like? Besides Juilliard of course."

"Well I guess the city lights are pretty nice, even if I am a little nervous being out at night. My friends and I went out to Brooklyn Bridge Park a few weeks after I moved here, the night was so clear and even though you couldn't see any stars in the sky, the buildings sparkled like a million of them." Her eyes lit up as she remembered the sight. "It was really nice. I'd like to head up to Rockefeller's at night, but I can never find the time."

Jason's breath caught a little. He realized he was captivated not just by her beautiful voice, but by the way she saw the world – with a musician's soul that found beauty in the unexpected. Kelsi looked away from his gaze and back to her meal, the sudden heat of a chilli burning her mouth unexpectedly when she took another bite with a nervous tremble in her hand. She sipped her water and used the pause to shift the conversation back a few years. "I feel like we knew each other fairly well in high school, but what about before East High? Did you always live here?"

"Born and raised, surprising with my dad in the army, that usually leads to families moving around a lot, but I guess we got lucky," Jason said, digging deep into his memory for only the good stuff to share. "He was gone a lot more than other kid's dads that I knew, but they usually weren't around very long since they were the ones who moved all the time. How about you?"

"We actually moved around quite a bit before settling. Phoenix, Sedona, Santa Fe, to name a few," Kelsi said, counting off the places on her fingers. "My mom's an obstetrician and there were a few years when the demand for doctors moved us around a bit. I think it was around grade seven she finally got a spot to stay and we were able to settle."

"I'm glad you did," Jason replied with a quick glance before turning his attention down to his bowl, "can't imagine not having you around for all the fun we had in high school."

Kelsi felt her cheeks flush with heat again, completely struck by the tenderness of his comment. She felt it reach out and wrap her in an embrace laced with longing and hope. The call was out, he wanted her in his life, but to what extent? "Yeah, me too," she said, deciding to push the thought of where this could be going off for a little while longer, "So you didn't move much, did you ever get to travel with your dad?"

"Just the usual family trips here and there, nothing major," he replied. "I've been up to Colorado a few times to see my brother."

"Is there anywhere else you'd like to go?"

"I've always wanted to go to Italy, pretty cliche I guess since it's where my mom's family is from, but the way my nonna, sorry, my grandma, always talks about it, it sounds pretty amazing."

"That's awesome, my family is just from good old America, nowhere cool to look forward to going one day," Kelsi said with a shrug.

"Is there a dream travel destination in your mind?" Jason asked, his eyes searching hers.

"Well if I could travel anywhere I'd go to Berlin, so much musical history there. But travel's expensive, so I'd also go for a road trip to New Orleans, yes, also for the musical history." She poked her food around, feeling silly that her whole life seemed to revolve around music.

"Either of those places sounds great! New Orleans wouldn't be that big of a stretch, you'll get to check it out someday."

Kelsi nodded as she finished the last bites of her lunch and looked around to take in the calm afternoon in this familiar desert city, until her eyes came back to rest on Jason's. He was smiling that killer smile at her again and she immediately looked away with a slight blush. He let out a small laugh and nudged his finished bowl forward. "What's the matter?" he asked with a tilt of his head to try and look in her beautiful green eyes again.

She looked back and partially hid her face with her hand, a small nervous laugh escaping her lips as she tried not to make a fool of herself. "Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked softly.

"Like what?" His tone carried a slight tease to it and she couldn't help but release another nervous chuckle as she tried to form some words.

"I don't know, like that," she replied with a pointed finger, "that silly grin, like you're thinking something you shouldn't."

Jason quickly slid his hands up in defence. "Okay, time out, Kelsi. I promise you I'm not thinking anything. Alright?" He dropped his hands and relaxed back into his seat, still looking at her like she was the only girl around. "You're just looking really pretty today and I'm happy to be here with you. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable."

Kelsi breathed a heavy breath to settle herself down, feeling stupid for overreacting, but she could hardly help it. The way he looked at her made her feel wanted, as a friend, but also in a deeper way. There was a pull between them that she couldn't deny, something lingering from years ago, and it scared the hell out of her. She sunk back into her own seat and collected her thoughts with a deep breath. "I'm sorry too, Jason, it's just, after all this time, I don't know how I feel about this yet."

Jason heaved a sigh and cast his gaze up at the clear blue sky before settling his deep brown eyes back on hers. "This? I didn't think there was a "this" yet," he said with a short nervous laugh. "I just want to spend some time with you." There was a beat of silence between them, even though the city roared on. "I'll be honest, seeing you again made me realize just how much I missed you," he added with a tender voice that turned her joints to jelly.

"I've missed home a lot too," she stammered, "and it's been good to see you again."

Jason pushed his chair out to stand and gathered their disposable containers into a nearby trash can before returning with a hand extended to help her to her feet. When he pulled her out of the chair, for a moment not even the summer breeze would have fit in the space between them, but he quickly stepped back and let her hand go. "Then will you give me another chance?" he asked, offering his elbow to her.

Kelsi smiled and looped her arm around his. "Sure." They set out down the main road, arm in arm like good friends will do, like they had years ago. Kelsi tried to convince herself that it didn't mean anything, but the connection that arced between their skin was too tangible to ignore. Lost in the feelings, she jumped at the sudden sound of a horn blasting on the street beside them.

Jason couldn't help but chuckle at her as she jerked suddenly, her grip tightening on his arm. "Geez, you're jumpy, any other big fears besides disgruntled drivers?"

Kelsi shot him a pointed glance, raising her chin in a prideful expression. "I'll have you know I'm not afraid of mice, spiders, heights, or snakes. All the big ones," she said. Jason chuckled nervously at her response, surprised that she had one-upped him.

"Well you got me on the heights, can't say I'm a fan."

"No way! A big, strong man like you scared of heights?" she said, playfully nudging his side.

"I'm not scared of heights. I'm scared of falling. There's a difference," he said pointedly.

"So you wouldn't be one of those guys sitting on a steel beam stories above the city then?"

"Oh hell no, not just the heights, there's just no way I could build a building. If it's anything beyond hanging a picture or putting together some furniture, I'm toast. Cars are really the only thing I can fix."

"My dad's one of those total fix-it guys, never seen anything that he couldn't fix. But he'd still rather tinker with old cars all day long too."

"And your mom is a what kind of doctor again?"

"Obstetrician, baby doctor. Guess that's why she only had one kid, sees enough of that day in day out."

"Sounds about right. Is that something you want?" Jason flinched, surprised that he had asked something so personal. It had slipped out under the guise of just part of the conversation, but he regretted it the moment the words left his mouth.

Kelsi took it in stride, looking purposefully down the street towards Old Town."I'm on the fence still. You?"

He thought frantically, searching for whatever answer it was that girls wanted to hear, but the casual vibe of her strolling beside him told him it wasn't a loaded question, she just wanted to know. "I don't know. I like kids, but can't see myself with a lot of them. Maybe one or two."

When they got to San Felipe de Neri, a historic church, Kelsi looked up at the sun baked steeples and marvelled at it anew. "I've always loved the look of this building, so much character, it almost seems out of place in this desert, but yet it fits perfectly."

Jason looked up at the church with her, fighting hard not to drop his gaze down to her beautiful face. She was doing it again, mesmerizing him with her unique outlook on the world. He turned to look at her, but a flag flying at half mast caught his attention out of the corner of his eye as it fluttered in the afternoon breeze. Old Town Plaza sat a stones throw away where the final onlookers were clearing from a Memorial Day event.

"Hey, do you mind if we go this way? I'd just like to duck into the park for a minute." They crossed the street and made their way down the lush path of the park until Jason came to a halt at the war monument. The wreaths sat fresh and new, unlike the old dull aches in his mind. He thought of his own life, often fearing every knock at the door. Any one of them could be someone there to tell him that his dad was coming home in a box. The sting of those memories were only soothed by the fact that he'd heard his dad's voice only last week and he exhaled sharply in relief like he knew so many other families couldn't today.

Kelsi could see the heaviness on his shoulders and slid her hand across his back in a comforting gesture. She assumed it had something to do with the military connection in his family and offered her support in her own solemn silence.

"Are you okay, Jason?" she asked after a long moment.

He shrugged and shoved his hands into his pockets. "Yeah I'm alright, just needed a minute. A lot of good people have given up a lot for what we have," he said with a grateful smile towards her. "Sorry to dampen to mood."

"That's okay, you're right, thanks for reminding me to be grateful for this too."

The feeling of her hand on his back split his focus between the comfort of the gesture and the way it was slightly turning him on. Everything about her felt so good, from her touch to the look in her eyes as she scanned his face with concern. "Um, is there anywhere else you want to go today?" he asked with a nervous hand through his shaggy hair.

Kelsi looked around the park and her attention was caught by a melody on the far side. A saxophonist began to play a soulful tune, his notes weaving between the rhythmic taps of a snare drummer seated beside him. Laughter bubbled up from a group of dancers enjoying the summer sun and rhythm of the improvised tune, their moves drew her to lead Jason by the hand further down the path until the music was loud enough to pierce her soul. She stopped a fair distance away, mesmerized by the flow of the music. Although shy, she was unable to deny the desire to groove with them and began tapping her foot and letting her head rock with the tune.

Jason bumped her shoulder playfully. "You look like you want to bust a move," he said with a mischievous grin.

Kelsi shook her head. "I don't think so, not with all these other people around." She looked nervously around at the expert movements of the other people dancing in the sun, fearing her own moves would make someone laugh at her.

Jason stretched out his hand with an excited gleam in his eye. "Come on, Kelsi, dance with me. Just like we used to."

Kelsi hesitated, then a smile bloomed on her face as fond memories bolstered her confidence. She took his hand and smiled. "Why not?"

They joined the outskirts of the circle, the music washing over them. Kelsi swayed to the rhythm, her body feeling the music along with Jason's hands comfortably cradling hers. He mirrored her movements, following her perfectly although a little clumsily and with more laughs than either could contain. As the beat switched, he spun her out, catching her hand to pull her back in. In that shared moment, under the summer sun, a spark flew between them, igniting a warmth that rivalled the day's heat. He spun her again with a complicated twirl that sent her barrelling back into his chest, causing them both to burst into laughter at the clumsy exchange. Their laughter mingled with the music, a sweet melody drifting through Old Town. Kelsi felt her gaze cemented on his, not noticing that the music had come to an end. As the crowd applauded the musicians, Jason released his hold on her just enough to bring her hand to his lips and plant a soft kiss on her knuckles.

Kelsi pulled her hand back, turning to applaud the musicians and hide the flush that crept into her cheeks again. A flurry of emotions—shock, embarrassment, excitement, and confusion—assaulted her senses. The soft kiss had sent a jolt of electricity through her. Nostalgia washed over her, transporting her back to the sweet simplicity of their summer romance. Her heart pounded as she realized the potential implications of this gesture, was he after more than just a dance in the park with her? Trying to bring back the magic of what they had? Beneath the thrill of their afternoon together, a flicker of doubt ignited. Was she ready for the intensity of his affection after being apart for so long? The shivers that ran over her skin despite the heat of the day told her she was excited by the notion and she didn't want to let herself get carried away too quickly. A final question loomed: Where was that little kiss leading?

The sun was getting low as Kelsi and Jason had spent the rest of the afternoon walking up and down the streets, talking and carrying on about anything they could possibly learn about each other. From Kelsi's phase of tie dying her own shirts when she was ten, to Jason's claim that he was a slight of hand master, their discovery of each other continued to yield more and more hidden treasures in their pasts.

They finally settled down on a bench when Kelsi challenged him to prove just how good he was at coin tricks.

"When did you get so good at that?" Kelsi marvelled as Jason slipped a quarter between his hands, making it vanish and reappear in a couple slight of hand moves.

"I got really, really bored in grade nine history," he replied as he held the quarter up in front of her. "Here, I'll show you another one. Watch closely." He dropped the coin into his palm and closed his fingers around it.

"Okay, what am I watching for?" she asked as he extended his clenched fist to her.

"Hold onto my hand, wrap both of yours around it so that I can't open it."

She followed his instructions, feeling a slight tremor in her hands as she collapsed them gently over his.

"Now focus really hard, don't look away from my hand until I tell you."

She stared at his hand intently until she felt him place a long, tender kiss on her cheek. Her eyes widened at the surprise of the gesture and she looked at him in shock. He was grinning at her again, and she couldn't help but laugh. His eyes shot down to his hand and she followed them as she felt him pushing his hand open to reveal the coin was gone.

"Wait, what? How did you-?!"

"Told you not to look away." They laughed together at the trick, both the slight of hand and the way he had snuck in another kiss.

Kelsi shoved his arm to nudge him away. "Charmer." She shook her head and sighed at the fun of being with him, it had been a perfect day, but her mind still couldn't shake wondering where this could go. Was what they had before going to be a stepping stone into something more or a stumbling block to navigate their way around? The energy between them felt different now, like a familiar melody suddenly played in a whole new light. Maybe it was the joy of being free from college, or maybe it was just him, but she felt like taking a chance on something more. It felt exciting, as though a thrilling possibility danced on the edge of her comfort zone if she would just step out and join it.

Agreeing that it was time to call it a night, they walked back to the restaurant to board their separate vehicles, neither noticing that they were walking hand in hand, like it was more natural than breathing. It had been a trip of relative silence that Jason broke when he politely opened the door of her dad's truck for her.

"I'd like to go dancing with you again, Kelsi, that was the most fun I've had in a long time and it's been a while since we got to do that."

"It sure was," she replied as she pulled her hand away from his, immediately missing his touch, "what did you have in mind?"

"When are you free next? I'd love to take you to one of the usual haunts. The boys and I go to Leo's when we have time, it's across the city, but it's a great spot."

"I don't know, I'm working the closing shift a lot this week, Thursday night I'm playing for an event, I have some virtual prep meetings on Tuesday for a musical that often go late too. Wednesday is the only night I have totally free this week, not sure if you want to go out partying on a weeknight though. Friday I'm working late too."

"I'm hosting poker on Thursday so Wednesday works for me. I'll make it work if you can, I can't wait for another chance to spin you around," he replied with a smile.

She smiled back at his eagerness and relished in the feeling that he wanted to spend time with her. "Alright, it's a date then. What time?"